How to Overcome Driving Anxiety - Positive Feedback Loop
Summary
TLDRThis video aims to alleviate driving anxiety by encouraging learners to identify and rationalize their fears. It emphasizes the importance of accepting one's pace and starting with manageable tasks to build confidence gradually. The script suggests that patience, realistic expectations, and positive reinforcement from instructors can significantly help in overcoming anxiety. The instructor's role is to set achievable goals, creating a positive feedback loop that fosters success and reduces nerves. The video also highlights the value of additional practice with friends or family, as supported by Collingwood Insurance, to enhance learning experience.
Takeaways
- 😌 Driving anxiety is common and varies from person to person, affecting how they learn to drive.
- 📝 Writing down what worries you can help rationalize and understand your anxiety better.
- 👉 Ignoring anxiety will likely make learning to drive harder, so it's important to address it.
- 🚗 Accept that as a learner driver, you will be slow and that most people are patient and will wait for a safe opportunity to pass.
- 🔑 Awareness of what's controlling you is the first step to gaining control over your anxiety.
- 👶 Comparing patience towards a learner driver to that of a child learning to walk or an elderly person walking slowly can put things into perspective.
- 🚦 Realize that everyone learns at a different pace, and don't expect to learn as quickly as someone else might have.
- 🎯 Focusing on the task at hand without distractions can help reduce anxiety and improve driving skills.
- 👩🏫 A driving instructor should provide positive support and realistic goals to help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
- 🔄 Creating a positive feedback loop by setting achievable goals can boost confidence and reduce anxiety over time.
- 💪 Gradually building up skills and confidence by starting with easier tasks and progressing can help manage anxiety effectively.
Q & A
What is the main purpose of the video?
-The main purpose of the video is to help reduce driving anxiety or fear and provide strategies for coping with it while learning to drive.
How does driving anxiety affect people differently?
-Driving anxiety affects people in different ways, such as making them hold the wheel tightly, sweat, shake, or constantly look around instead of focusing on the road.
What is the first step suggested in the video to deal with driving anxiety?
-The first step suggested is to write down a list of what worries you and then rationalize it, understanding if the worries are rational or irrational.
Why is it important to understand the cause of anxiety while learning to drive?
-Understanding the cause of anxiety helps you gain more control over the situation and allows you to address the specific issues that are causing the anxiety.
What is a common cause of anxiety for learner drivers mentioned in the video?
-A common cause of anxiety is worrying about holding people up, or driving slowly, which is a natural part of the learning process.
How can a driving instructor support a learner driver who is anxious?
-A driving instructor can support a learner driver by providing positive reinforcement, setting realistic goals, and offering encouragement that other people also struggle with learning to drive.
What is a 'positive feedback loop' as mentioned in the video?
-A 'positive feedback loop' is a cycle where achieving a simple, realistic goal leads to success, which in turn reduces anxiety and builds confidence, leading to more success.
Why is it important for a learner driver to be realistic about their learning pace?
-Being realistic about learning pace helps set achievable goals, prevents frustration, and allows for gradual improvement without overwhelming the learner.
What should a learner driver do if they feel they are not making progress?
-If a learner driver feels they are not making progress, they should try doing something easier, find a level of difficulty they can handle, and gradually build up their skills and confidence.
How can learner drivers gain additional experience outside of formal driving lessons?
-Learner drivers can gain additional experience by practicing with friends or family members, which can be facilitated by insurance providers like Collingwood, who offer policies for learner drivers on other people's cars.
What advice does the video give for dealing with anxiety when learning to drive?
-The video advises to accept that anxiety is normal, understand and rationalize the cause of it, start with easy tasks to build confidence, and gradually venture into more challenging areas as confidence grows.
Outlines
🚗 Overcoming Driving Anxiety
The first paragraph addresses the common issue of driving anxiety and its various manifestations, such as holding the wheel tightly, sweating, or being overly conscious of the surroundings. It emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding the source of one's anxiety rather than ignoring it. The speaker suggests writing down worries and rationalizing them to gain control. An example is given about recognizing and dealing with everyday moods to illustrate the point. The paragraph also touches on the common worry of holding others up while driving and assures learners that most people are patient and understanding of new drivers' need to go slow, which is crucial for learning.
📈 Building Confidence and Reducing Anxiety
The second paragraph delves into strategies for managing driving anxiety, starting with understanding and accepting one's feelings as normal. It discusses the importance of starting in less challenging environments and gradually increasing difficulty to build confidence. The role of a driving instructor is highlighted, emphasizing the need for positive support and realistic goal setting to foster a successful learning experience. The instructor's approach to creating a positive feedback loop through achievable goals is explained, which helps in reducing anxiety and building confidence. The paragraph also warns against setting unrealistic goals that could lead to frustration and anxiety.
🌟 Gradual Progress and Realistic Expectations
The final paragraph summarizes the recommended approach to dealing with driving anxiety. It advises accepting anxiety as a normal part of the learning process and suggests understanding its causes and rationalizing it. The speaker recommends starting with easy tasks to achieve success and gradually increasing the difficulty to build confidence. The importance of not pushing oneself or others too hard too quickly is stressed, as it can lead to snapping, like stretching something too fast. The paragraph concludes by acknowledging that while there's no quick fix, patience and gradual progress usually lead to overcoming anxiety, with the instructor's experience playing a crucial role in guiding learners at a comfortable pace.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Driving Anxiety
💡Rationalize
💡Awareness
💡Patience
💡Realistic Expectations
💡Positive Reinforcement
💡Confidence
💡Gradual Progress
💡Support
💡Collingwood Insurance
Highlights
Driving anxiety can manifest in various ways such as holding the wheel tightly, sweating, shaking, or being overly concerned with surroundings.
Anxiety can cause learner drivers to 'shut down' and not absorb instructions from their driving instructor.
Ignoring driving anxiety can make learning to drive more difficult.
Writing down what worries you and rationalizing it can help manage driving anxiety.
Understanding the source of anxiety provides more control over the situation.
A common anxiety trigger is the fear of holding others up while driving slowly.
Accepting that being slow is part of the learning process is crucial.
Most people are patient with learner drivers and will wait for a safe opportunity to pass.
Driving instructors should provide support and reassure learners that driving slowly is appropriate.
Comparing learner drivers to children learning to walk or elderly people walking slowly can put things into perspective.
Realistic expectations are important when learning to drive; everyone learns at a different pace.
Focusing on the task at hand and not being distracted by other worries can improve driving.
Positive support from a driving instructor is essential for building confidence and reducing anxiety.
Driving instructors should provide realistic goals and positive reinforcement to build a successful learning experience.
A positive feedback loop can be established by setting achievable goals and celebrating success.
Finding the right level of difficulty for a learner is key to building confidence and reducing frustration.
Gradual progression in driving tasks helps to build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.
If progress seems too slow, it may be because the learner is being pushed beyond their current ability level.
Anxiety reduction and confidence building take time and patience, with no quick fix available.
Learning from experience as a driving instructor over 11 years has shaped the advice given in the video.
Collingwood Insurance can provide policies that allow additional practice on a friend or family member's car without affecting their policy.
Using the provided link offers discounts and supports the channel while also helping learners get cheaper insurance.
Transcripts
hopefully this video is going to help
reduce your driving anxiety
or fear or nerves whatever you want to
call it it's basically an emotion that
makes learning to drive
really quite hard it affects different
people more than
others and it affects different people
in different ways for some people
they may hold the wheel really tightly
they may sweat
they may shake or combination of all
those things
they may be worried about everything
around them so they're looking around
them all the time and not looking where
they're going so they end up driving
down the road
all over the place and it can even make
learner drivers shut down from their
driving instructor because they're so
anxious
that they don't hear what's going on
they're in the moment and nothing can
enter
there is but there's one thing i'm sure
of
if you ignore it if you pretend it
doesn't exist
it's gonna probably get the better of
you or at least make
your job of learning to drive or should
i say the task of learning to drive
a lot harder one thing you can do to
help yourself
is try to figure out what is making you
feel the way you do write it down write
down a list
of what worries you and then rationalize
it
think about why does that worry me is it
rational that it worries me is it
irrational
both are okay just try and figure out
exactly
how you feel and why you feel that way
because normally once you figure out
what's affecting you you have more
control of the situation
an example this can be a good example
let's say
this happens to me sometimes maybe it
happens to you
let's say you're feeling a bit grumpy
you feel a bit grumpy this happens to me
and i can't figure out why i just feel a
little bit
annoyed my my other half will see will
say to me what's wrong will be like
nothing i don't generally don't know
what's wrong
but if i then try and figure out
why it is i feel that way quite often i
think
that's rather silly why am i bothering
not all the time though
quite often it's very rational and you
go oh yeah that's that's why
but in knowing that that actually can
change your mood because
you're aware of what's happening to you
you need to become aware
of what's controlling you before you can
control it and control yourself
a very common cause of this anxiety is
worrying about holding people up and i
need to tell you this now and i
say this to my customers you have to
accept that when you're learning to
drive you're going to be slow
going slow is actually the key to
learning it
and you are going to hold people up most
people
more than 99 of people definitely more
than 99
do have a lot of patience and they wait
until there's a safe place to pass
and they pass and i tend to take people
in locations when they're slow where
they're not going to be holding too many
people up anyway
and we start and stop a lot not only for
practice
when it comes to starting and stopping
but also to let people pass
and if someone's going to get the hump
for my customer driving slowly
i don't really care for it i'm going to
give my customer
lots of support i'm going to tell them
that they're doing fine
that's exactly what they need to be
doing they're driving at their own speed
the person behind is not going to be
stuck behind us for long because we will
pull over or we will turn left because
all right because we tend to drive
around in circles at the beginning
and also would you be angry
with say a small child who's just
learning to walk
walking slowly or even an
elderly person in a shop walking slowly
are you going to start
shouting at them probably not it's not
ideal being stuck behind someone and
don't get me wrong
i don't particularly like being stuck
behind someone slow when i need to get
somewhere
but i don't give them aggro i don't
harass them
people who harass others for doing
such minor things things that they
probably did themselves once they
not they're not high on my priority list
when it comes to trying to
help them out should i say also be
realistic when you're learning to drive
if you have a cousin who's learnt in 20
hours
don't necessarily expect yourself to
learn in 20 hours
everybody learns at different speeds in
fact few people
do learn in 20 hours and if they do most
of the time
is because they've had help elsewhere
and
other experience may be driving their
friend
or family member's car collingwood
insurance will help you with that i'll
tell you about that later
if you are focusing on the task at hand
driving you are now putting all of your
energy into improving that task
if you're worrying about other things
now that's a distraction
that's going to distract you from the
task at hand
so understanding what causes you to be
anxious
whether you're learning to drive or an
experienced driver
can help you immensely but it doesn't
change how you feel
just like that you can't change how you
feel you just gotta accept that it's
okay
and normal and find a way you can carry
on
whilst feeling like that find a way you
can
do what you're trying to do maybe start
off in
easier locations and gradually build
yourself up
your confidence will come so
understanding it and rationalizing it
will help a lot if you're with a driving
instructor they can help you a lot as
well they can give you positive support
if they're not giving you positive
support
that's not going to help increase your
confidence and reduce your anxiety
if there's blurting out what you're
doing wrong all the time
that's going to have a negative impact
on you they shouldn't lie to you
they shouldn't tell you you're doing
well when you're not because you're not
silly you probably can figure that out
you probably know if you're doing badly
even if they tell you you're doing well
but even worse than that that could lead
you to believe you're great at driving
when you're actually really bad and
there's a nothing worse than a confident
driver
who's bad the sort of encouragement your
driving instructor should give you
is to ensure that other people struggle
just like you are other people feel the
same way you do that's going to make you
feel
better and to point out that certain
things are hard to learn
and to give you the time to learn it so
instead of just lying to you and say oh
you did all right there when you
know you're really messed up is to say
don't worry
you'll get it next time or we'll go and
practice that over there and then maybe
next time we can get it
that kind of support positive
reinforcement to build on what you
already know
as opposed to just saying oh well done
every five seconds
one way i help people increase their
confidence and reduce the anxiety
is by trying to start a positive
feedback loop
and what i mean by a positive feedback
loop is i'll try and get them to do
something successfully
so i will set a goal that i think is
realistic
that they will be able to achieve and
it's going to be simple it's going to be
easy and
very realistic and i'll take them
somewhere where they're able to achieve
that as well
and when they achieve that they've
achieved something they've had success
and what's great about success is it
reduces anxiety
and it leads to confidence and
confidence leads to success
and then success leads to confidence
which leads to
more success and you have this
positive feedback loop which snowballs
and it can work the other way this is
why i like to set
my customers goals i set goals for my
pupils
i have a syllabus i go through it with
them
i don't really believe in getting pupils
to set their own goals
as i'm advised to do by so many people
and the industry
because quite often it works the other
way they'll set a goal that's totally
unrealistic
which of course they're not going to
achieve which leads to failure which
leads to frustration and
possibly anxiety which only leads to
more failure
so what i consider part of my
job and part of my expertise as a
driving instructor
is knowing what's realistic for someone
knowing what they're realistically able
to achieve
not only helping them achieve it but
guiding them in a way which means that
their driving lessons are
more of a hopefully a happy experience
and less of a frustrating one
if you're really struggling and you
don't think you're making progress it is
probably because what you're trying to
do is too hard
there is most likely and in my
experience
for people i teach there's always a
level at which they can handle
and it's about finding that level and
allowing them to
drive at that level when i'm talking
about level i'm talking about level of
difficulty
you just got to go somewhere easier
you've got to do something easier and
once that person
is now being successful and they are
starting to do it
well they will start to grow and they
will get better
confidence will increase anxiety will
hopefully reduce
if i try to stretch them too much
or push them too far too quickly that
often leads to more problems some people
are okay with that
some people i can push quite far quite
quickly
and it's like water off a duck's back
they they drive badly
but it doesn't really bother them they
just keep trying and eventually get it
right
and they don't lose confidence but
they're the minority
most people that would affect them
negatively if i push them too
quick too early they're more likely to
to snap it's like stretching something
too quickly you're more likely to snap
it
you need to give yourself the chance to
grow and improve and your instructor
needs to give you
the chance to grow as well people grow
with their abilities
their confidence grows and their
anxiety fears and nerves hopefully
reduce so to summarize how
do i recommend you deal with anxiety
except
that it's there except that it's normal
and you're not going to get
rid of it by reading a book or watching
a video you can only take steps to help
you progress
and hopefully reduce it understand it
understand why it's there what causes it
and rationalize it think about it think
is it really realistic or should i say
rational
to be worried about such things
sometimes it is
sometimes it isn't and if it is that's
fine you're going to live with it but
you're going to find a way to continue
and you can find your way to continue by
driving or learning in areas
that you feel comfortable with doing
things that you feel comfortable with
there are things that you're going to
feel uncomfortable with and it's better
to
gradually venture into those areas than
to drop
very quickly into them so
my other advice is do something that's
easy enough for you to succeed in
and gradually build yourself up and let
your confidence grow
if you're finding it too hard do
something easier
if you're getting frustrated do
something easier
if you're in driving instructors getting
frustrated
again it's too much you need to do
something easier
and then let yourself get better i keep
saying it but for me
that's normally the secret i've tried
many things
breathing all this stuff but
realistically at the end of the day
it's just about starting at a level
someone can handle
and gradually building them up
some people do really suffer with
anxiety
in which case it just takes longer it
takes
longer for them to build up their
confidence but
generally speaking they do tend to still
get there
just have to wait a bit longer that's
all i'm sorry there's no quick easy fix
and what i've told you is just what i've
learned
over more than 11 years of teaching
people to drive
via trial and error to see what works
and
that tends to give me the success i'm
not a psychologist
it's just experience of being a driving
instructor
if you think the video helps please give
it a thumbs up
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collingwoodconfused.com
if you're learning to drive getting
extra practice with a friend or family
member
does reduce how much time you need with
a driving instructor people who learn
more quickly with me generally learn
more quickly because i've had additional
experience
and collingwood are great at helping you
get that experience because you can
insure yourself
on a friend or family member's car
without affecting their
policy they have short-term policies and
long-term policies
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you actually get a refund for the
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you
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