5 Steps For A Fit Mind... YOU Must Follow: Part 1: English: BK Shivani

Summary

This script delves into the concept of emotional fitness, urging individuals to evaluate their dependency on external factors such as people, situations, and material possessions. It highlights the importance of being emotionally independent and the ability to let go, forgive, and stand alone in one's beliefs. The speaker guides the audience through a self-assessment exercise to rate their emotional fitness and encourages them to strive for improvement, aiming for a score of 10 out of 10 by the following year.

Takeaways

• 📱 The impact of minor incidents like a phone falling and getting scratched can vary in how long they bother us, illustrating our different responses to stress.
• 🌟 Our behaviors, thoughts, and vocabularies can be subtly influenced by others without us realizing it.
• 🌧️ We have the power to change our reactions to external factors like weather, despite not being able to change the factors themselves.
• 👥 People respond differently to situations, and even the same person can react differently to the same situation on different days.
• 🔑 It's crucial to recognize that our responses are dependent on our state of mind rather than external circumstances.
• 🗒️ Keeping a diary to track dependencies can help identify what influences our emotional state and work towards independence.
• 🏋️‍♀️ Emotional fitness can be measured by how little our minds are affected by external events, similar to checking physical fitness.
• 💔 The ability to forgive and let go of past hurts is a key aspect of emotional fitness.
• 🤔 We should be aware of how much we let others' opinions and societal trends dictate our choices and actions.
• 🌐 The world's energy and our personal energy levels are interconnected; we can't remain static, we either grow or decline.
• 📅 Regular self-assessment over time can help track improvements in emotional fitness and personal growth.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the transcript?

The main theme of the transcript revolves around the concept of emotional fitness, emphasizing the importance of being independent from external influences such as people, situations, and material objects, and learning to manage one's reactions, emotions, and dependencies.

Why does the speaker mention the phone getting a scratch?

The phone getting a scratch is used as a metaphor to discuss how long one holds on to negative emotions or thoughts. It illustrates the concept of emotional dependency and the ability to let go of such incidents quickly.

What does the speaker suggest as a method to check one's emotional fitness?

The speaker suggests creating a diary to record and score oneself on various criteria such as dependency on external factors, reactions to situations, ability to forgive, and resistance to peer pressure and people's opinions.

How does the speaker propose to measure one's dependency on external factors?

The speaker proposes measuring dependency by assigning a score out of 10, with 10 being completely independent. This score helps individuals assess how much they are affected by people, situations, and material possessions.

What is the significance of the speaker's question about the weather?

The question about the weather is used to illustrate how our emotions can be influenced by external factors and how we can choose to change our reactions to them. It highlights the ability to control our emotional responses rather than being controlled by circumstances.

Why does the speaker emphasize not comparing oneself with others?

The speaker emphasizes not comparing oneself with others to highlight the importance of making independent choices and not being swayed by societal norms or peer pressure. This is crucial for developing emotional fitness and self-reliance.

What is the purpose of the '2B list' mentioned in the transcript?

The '2B list' is a personal list where individuals write down situations, people, or things that their mind is dependent on. This list serves as a tool for self-reflection and a way to track progress in reducing emotional dependencies.

How does the speaker define emotional fitness?

Emotional fitness, as defined by the speaker, is the ability to manage one's emotions, reactions, and dependencies effectively. It involves being less affected by external factors, having a quick recovery from negative emotions, and being able to make independent choices.

What is the role of self-assessment in the speaker's approach to emotional fitness?

Self-assessment plays a crucial role in the speaker's approach as it allows individuals to objectively evaluate their emotional dependencies and reactions. This self-awareness is essential for personal growth and improving emotional fitness.

Why does the speaker suggest keeping the diary for a year?

The speaker suggests keeping the diary for a year to track one's emotional progress over time. This practice helps in identifying patterns, recognizing improvements, and setting goals for further development in emotional fitness.

What is the importance of the date mentioned by the speaker?

The date mentioned by the speaker is significant as it sets a timeline for the individual's self-improvement journey. It marks the beginning of a year-long commitment to work on emotional fitness and provides a reference point for future evaluations.

Outlines

00:00

📱 Mindfulness and External Influences

The speaker begins by discussing how minor incidents like a phone falling and getting scratched can preoccupy our minds. They ponder the duration of such concerns and how our reactions to everyday situations are influenced by others, often subtly. The narrative then shifts to introspection about personal habits and choices, questioning how much they are shaped by societal expectations rather than personal desires. The speaker encourages embracing individuality and standing by one's beliefs, even in the face of public opinion. They also touch on the idea that our reactions to situations can vary, suggesting that our state of mind plays a significant role in how we perceive and react to events.

05:00

📝 Assessing Emotional Dependency

In this segment, the speaker guides the audience to evaluate their emotional dependencies by creating a list of people, situations, and factors that affect their emotions. They emphasize the importance of recognizing these dependencies to achieve emotional fitness. The speaker suggests using a diary to track these dependencies and to self-assess emotional reactions, such as happiness, stress, and irritation, caused by external factors. The aim is to identify areas where one's emotions are overly dependent on external elements and to work towards achieving a state of emotional independence.

10:02

🌟 Scoring Emotional Fitness

The speaker introduces a self-assessment method to measure emotional fitness, focusing on the degree to which one's mind is affected by external factors. They suggest scoring oneself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing complete independence from external influences. The speaker encourages regular self-evaluation to track emotional progress over time. They also discuss the impact of emotions like worry, anxiety, and anger, and the duration for which these emotions linger, advising individuals to score themselves on their ability to let go of such feelings and to forgive others, which are key components of emotional fitness.

15:03

🌱 Becoming Independent of External Validation

Here, the speaker delves into the concept of not letting others' opinions dictate one's actions or happiness. They emphasize the importance of making choices based on personal values rather than societal trends or the desire for approval. The speaker encourages developing the strength to stand alone, even when it means going against the crowd. They also discuss the subtle nature of seeking validation and appreciation from others and how this need can undermine one's sense of self-worth. The speaker concludes by asking participants to grade themselves on these criteria to assess their level of emotional fitness.

20:05

🔮 Envisioning Future Growth

In the final paragraph, the speaker prompts the audience to reflect on their current emotional state and to envision where they would like to be in a year. They highlight the inevitability of change and the importance of personal growth. The speaker suggests documenting one's current feelings and then, a year later, reflecting on the progress made towards emotional independence. The aim is to recognize how the world's influences can affect one's mind and to work proactively towards maintaining emotional stability amidst life's uncertainties.

Keywords

💡Dependency

Dependency in the context of the video refers to the reliance of one's emotional state or reactions on external factors such as people, situations, objects, or even the weather. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing how much our minds are dependent on these externalities and suggests that a high level of dependency can lead to a lack of emotional fitness. For instance, the speaker mentions how a person's mood can be dependent on the weather, saying 'the weather is depressive,' which illustrates an external dependency affecting one's internal state.

💡Emotional Fitness

Emotional Fitness is a central theme in the video, which is likened to physical fitness but focuses on one's emotional well-being and resilience. The speaker introduces the concept as a measure of how independent one's mind is from external influences and how well one can manage emotional reactions. The video encourages self-assessment of emotional fitness through self-scoring based on criteria such as the magnitude and duration of emotional reactions, the ability to let go, and the level of dependency on others' opinions.

💡Reaction

Reactions, as discussed in the video, are the immediate emotional responses one has to various stimuli, such as people's behavior or events. The speaker points out that the intensity and duration of these reactions are indicators of one's emotional fitness. For example, if someone holds onto hurt for a long time, it signifies a weaker emotional fitness, as illustrated by the speaker's question, 'What's the magnitude and the duration of that emotion?'

💡Let Go

The concept of 'letting go' is introduced as a crucial skill for achieving emotional fitness. It refers to the ability to release and detach from past events or negative thoughts that no longer serve one's well-being. The speaker uses the example of a phone falling and getting a scratch, asking how long this event stays on one's mind to highlight the importance of quickly moving on from such incidents.

💡Forgiveness

Forgiveness is highlighted as a key component of emotional fitness, which involves releasing grudges and not holding onto past hurts. The speaker suggests that true forgiveness means not bringing up past issues in conversations or even in one's thoughts, indicating complete healing from past wounds. This is exemplified when the speaker says, 'Forgive people and forgive means then no reference to the Past again.'

💡Influence

Influence, as used in the video, refers to the impact that external factors such as people's opinions or societal trends have on an individual's choices and behaviors. The speaker encourages the audience to assess how much their decisions are influenced by others, rather than being guided by their own values and beliefs. This is evident when the speaker questions, 'How much is it influenced by people?'

💡Comparison

Comparison is a concept that the speaker warns against, as it can lead to unnecessary pressure and a sense of inadequacy. It involves measuring oneself against others, often resulting in a loss of individuality and self-worth. The speaker points out the subtle nature of comparison and its potential to affect one's emotional fitness, as seen in the statement, 'Comparison pure pressure whatever may be the word.'

💡Approval

Approval, in the context of the video, refers to the need for external validation or acceptance from others. The speaker discusses how seeking approval can make one's emotional state dependent on others' opinions, which can undermine emotional fitness. An example from the script is the speaker's remark, 'I seek approval I seek appreciation which means, I need it to feel good.'

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness, while not explicitly mentioned, is an underlying concept in the video, suggesting that being aware of one's thoughts, emotions, and reactions is essential for emotional fitness. It involves being present and non-judgmental about one's experiences, which can help in managing dependencies and reactions. The speaker's emphasis on self-assessment and self-awareness implies the practice of mindfulness.

💡Self-assessment

Self-assessment is a key action the speaker encourages as part of the journey towards better emotional fitness. It involves honestly evaluating one's emotional reactions, dependencies, and behaviors without judgment. The speaker provides a framework for self-assessment by suggesting criteria and scoring oneself out of 10, as illustrated by the directive, 'Now rank yourself out of 10 the magnitude and the duration the extent of the reaction.'

💡Detachment

Detachment is presented as a desirable state where one is not overly affected by external circumstances or people's opinions. It is linked to emotional fitness, as it allows for a more stable emotional state and less dependency on external factors. The speaker advises to be detached while self-assessing, as shown in the instruction, 'Be very detached and give yourself a score out of 10.'

Highlights

The impact of minor incidents like a phone scratch on our minds and how long they stay with us.

The influence of others on our behavior, choices, and self-perception, and how subtle this influence can be.

The importance of being able to stand alone for what one believes is right, despite societal pressure.

The idea that our reactions to situations and the duration of these reactions can indicate our emotional strength.

How our emotional responses can vary from day to day, even when we are the same person.

The concept that our minds can be dependent on external factors such as people, situations, health, and objects.

The process of self-assessment for emotional fitness by scoring one's reactions and dependencies.

The significance of being able to release and let go of past events and the impact on emotional well-being.

The ability to forgive and not hold onto past hurts as a measure of emotional fitness.

The negative effects of comparing ourselves to others and how it can influence our choices.

The importance of being unaffected by others' opinions and living according to one's own beliefs.

The concept of seeking approval and appreciation from others and its impact on self-worth.

The practice of self-grading for emotional fitness and the importance of periodic self-assessment.

The idea that not making an effort to improve emotional fitness can lead to a decline in emotional strength.

The suggestion to keep a diary to track emotional fitness over time and set goals for improvement.

The reminder that the world's energy and situations can affect our minds if we allow our thoughts to be dependent on them.

The call to action to work on emotional fitness and the potential for significant personal growth over a year.

Transcripts

the phone is there in your hand now it

falls down gets a scratch for how long

does it stay on your mind and these are

simple situations not even a situation

actually so any situation any person's

be for how long so what is my ability to

pack up release and let go the way I

dress up what I eat how I party how I

holiday how I think how I speak my

vocabulary everything how much is it

influenced by people and it's so subtle

sometimes we don't even know it's

influenced it's influenced unaffected

let everybody ridicule

me let everyone say how boring you

are let everyone say how

oldfashioned let everyone say let the

world say it

[Music]

the power to stand alone for what I

believe is right for me wake up in the

morning is said H the weather so

depressive weather is depressive

or weather is what the weather is can I

change the weather no can I change the

way I feel about the weather yes should

I change the way I feel about the

weather why

why should I change what is wrong in

saying the weather is so

depressive because if someone comes and

asks you why are you saying the weather

is depressive you say because it is

depressive that is why I'm saying it's

depressive how is it that the other

people are not finding the same weather

depressive if the weather is depressive

then it's going to cause that depressive

emotion in

everybody if this person is irritated

then that person is going to create

irritation in

everybody if this situation is a crisis

then that situation is going to create

chaos in everyone's mind does that

happen does that happen no do different

people respond differently to situations

yes do same family but different members

respond differently to a

situation the same me

do I respond differently to a situation

on two different

days how does that happen it's the same

me how is it that yesterday I reacted

today I could have done better and

tomorrow I'll probably just let it

go same me not even two different people

same me responding differently on two

different days depending

on depending on

how today I respond differently tomorrow

I respond differently situation is not

the same why is my response different on

two different days depending

on depending on my state of mind that

day so which means it's all dependent

on Rak it all depends on

do because for years I've

said it's always been here like

that and because I kept saying it's

because of them it's because of them

it's because of them it's because of

them I was waiting for everyone to

change one I was waiting for everyone to

change and second I allowed my response

to be dependent on them so if they are

nice to me I

am you're going to fill in the blank if

they are nice to me I'm going to be

happy what are nice to

them so they are nice to me so I'm going

to be nice to them if they are very nice

to me I'm going to be very nice to them

and if they are very very very nice to

me then I'm going to be very very very

nice to them and obviously if they're

not nice to me

what's the rest of the fill in the blank

then why should I be nice to

them and this vocabulary made my mind

completely dependent

on say it because when you say it it'll

get recorded when I say it it's not

going to get

recorded when you say it it will get

recorded by repeatedly saying these

lines

I made my mind dependent

on you all have paper and Pen today now

H CH let's create a short list what all

is my mind dependent

on one is

people and later on when you go home

under the column of people you can write

names

also my mind is dependent on dependent

on means my Happ happiness my

hurt my peace my

stress dependent

on so one is people people is a very big

factor and under people you can write

down

names ah it's a very interesting

list very very interesting list people

then names

our mind could be dependent even on a

stranger a stranger on the road not

driving the right way I create

irritation and I say it's because of

them have never met them might not ever

meet them again but my mind says I'm

irritated because of

them so list of people situations

situations this diary that you have got

today is going to be with you for a long

time and don't use it for anything

else no notes no business notes nothing

no to-do list in this this diary is for

a 2B list not for a to-do list this is

for a 2B list how do I have to be so

write down at any point of time which

are the situations that my mind is

dependent on

anything else situation people

and

H

weather health of the

body health of the

body

objects how many of you are happy

because of your new phone

and then the new phone has the first

scratch oh oh

oh the scratch was only on the glass

screen but where did it

hurt where did it

hurt long list of

dependencies and if my mind is going to

be dependent on objects and on people

and on situations and on the health of

my body and on the weather and all

almost everything then anything which is

so dependent will be

fit will be fit can we call that thing

fit no today if my body is dependent I

can't get up on my own I can't walk on

my own I can't climb steps on my own I

need help for everything it's a sign

that the body is not in its perfect

health but when I need help for

everything that I need to do physically

and if someone says why aren't you able

to do it on your own I said you know

what I'm not

well I say I'm not well I don't say the

steps are

steep I say I am not well and then I

know that when I take care of my body

tomorrow I'll be able to jump up the

steps but when my mind is reacting to

people and situations I am not saying I

am

weak I am saying they are wrong

and because I'm saying they are wrong I

feel they need to change they may change

they may not change that's their choice

but I will allow my mind to go on being

dependent on them and the more the

dependency the more the fitness is going

to

go so next page this page is for adding

the names later

on so we're not writing anything more on

this page next page

in one line you will write the criteria

and then you will give yourself marks

for it we are checking our emotional

Fitness like we do a physical body scan

and then we get a blood report which has

a column normal and my

range and all I have to do is check my

range in reference to the normal range

on the blood report and I would know how

how fit I am so similarly to check my

emotional Fitness levels there should be

some

criteria first

criteria how much is my mind dependent

on the outside

world just write it in short right now

the point is not important be very

detached and give yourself a score out

of

10 10 on 10 means independent

untouched so the more you get

affected by situations by

people you have to rank yourself out of

10 you're not going to give tell this

score to anybody but you need to know it

you need to see it today you need to

check it again next month and then the

month after that and that's how we will

see our emotional Fitness level is

rising but right now score out of

10 my level of

reactions worry anxiety

fear anger irritation hurt

humiliation What's the

magnitude and once created for how long

does that emotion stay

you know for someone you create anger

and then next minute you're

fine you're creating it and it's over

but for someone it can remain internally

for a couple of minutes for some a few

hours so the more the reaction the

weaker I am the longer that reaction

stays the weaker I

am so now rank yourself out of

10 the magnitude and the

duration the extent of the

reaction and the

duration someone said something to me I

created hurt next minute

fine I created hurt and I held on to

that hurt the entire

day I created hurt I held on to it for

an entire

year I created Hur 10 years back and it

is still there on my

mind I still have not forgotten it the

wound is still there so that's the

duration so the longer I'm going to hold

on to

it lower will be my score and it doesn't

matter what the score is because we're

all going to go 10 on 10 so that doesn't

matter this is just to check that this

is the criteria for me to check my stand

my emotional

Fitness next

criteria the ability to release and let

go of things that have happened on the

mind how soon can I pack up and pull a

full stop to my

thoughts it's okay it's

over even as simple

as something

broke just an

object how long does it St stay on your

mind the phone is there in your hand now

it falls down gets a scratch for how

long does it stay on your mind and these

are simple situations not even a

situation

actually so any situation any person's

Beav for how long so what is my ability

to pack up release and let

go grade yourself nobody else is going

to decide whether that grade is more or

less it's only for you detach and rank

yourself because then you're going to

take yourself

higher

third ability to forgive

people forgive

people and forgive means then no

reference to the Past

again it's never going to be brought up

in a conversation it's not even going to

come up on my mind because it's healed

the

wound so grade yourself for that

also no looking at the next person's

score it's of no use and that's the next

criteria how much do I look at other

people in making my

choices

comparison pure pressure whatever may be

the

word doing that what the world is

doing even if it is not the healthiest

option being what people are

today without thinking whether it's

right for me or

not just being or doing because everyone

is doing

it

great the way I dress up what I eat how

I party how I

holiday how I think how I speak my

vocabulary everything how much is it

influenced by people and it's so subtle

sometimes we don't even know it's

influenced it's

influenced and the opposite of that is

the ability to stand alone for the

right the ability to stand alone even if

you're the only

one unaffected let everybody ridicule me

me let everyone say how boring you

are let everyone say how

oldfashioned let everyone say let the

world say

it the power to stand alone for what I

believe is right for me and the last one

for today affected by people's

opinion what people have to say about me

what people have to say to me people

saying I'm good is very important for me

I will do anything for people to like

me I will do anything to please people I

seek

approval it's very subtle I seek

approval I seek appreciation which means

I need it to feel

good I worked

hard I've done

something but that feeling good is still

not there till that is it's very subtle

all these five criteria we've written it

goes deeper and deeper and deeper so

today the score you give yourself

tomorrow you're 10 on 10 you'll check

yourself deeper again it'll go to 5 to

10 because it's deeper the

level so okay everyone's graded

themselves now total out of

10 total out of 10 and don't rank

anybody else in your mind

that is another

criteria sitting here I think of my

spouse oh he should have been here he

should have heard this this like this

this is emot not emotional Fitness he

should have

come my score will get affected if I

think like

that okay now close your eyes everyone

because we don't want you to see other

people's SC everybody eyes shut

now raise your hands 10 on

10 don't open your eyes to see whether

other people raes their

hand

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

two okay we are not going to one

a how many of us want to reach 10 on

10 a how many feel it's possible to

reach 10 on

10

simple and yet do we see that the world

is not making any effort to do

that yes and because we're not making

any effort if I don't make effort to

build up my physical

stamina by itself it will only

start and now

the vibration of the world is such that

you cannot remain where you are in your

energy

level what is the date today 20th June

2024 write the date also on that

notebook all right to 20th June

2024 and just when you go home today

write how you are feeling today General

in life and next page write 20th June

2025

life but keep this diary till

then keep this diary till

then in one year there's a lot that will

happen on this

planet and happening a lot doesn't make

a difference but because the world has

made their mind dependent on situations

so when situations won't be favorable

Minds will also get Disturbed

[Music]