La ley del espejo en la adolescencia. Diana Al Azem, profesora y creadora de ‘Adolescencia Positiva’

Summary

In this insightful discussion, Diana emphasizes viewing adolescence not as a crisis but an opportunity. She advises parents to support their teenagers in discovering their identity, managing emotions, and finding their life's purpose. Diana introduces the 'Law of the Mirror' by Yoshinori Noguchi, highlighting how parents' expectations and past patterns can conflict with teenagers' self-exploration. She stresses the importance of understanding the adolescent brain development and the role of multiple intelligences in nurturing talents beyond academic success.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Adolescence is viewed as an opportunity for growth rather than a crisis.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 Parents should understand the three fundamental questions adolescents seek to answer: 'Who am I?', 'How do I manage my emotions?', and 'What is my purpose in life?'
• 🪄 Adolescents often experiment with their identity, which may lead to clashes with parents who may not understand this exploration.
• 🪪 The 'Law of the Mirror' by Yoshinori Noguchi explains four aspects of conflicts between parents and teenagers: seeing our own image, seeing our opposite, having unrealistic expectations, and reflecting on inherited patterns.
• 🤔 Parents may project their own unfulfilled dreams or fears onto their children, leading to conflicts.
• 🚫 It's important for parents to let go of unrealistic expectations and accept their children for who they are during this developmental stage.
• 🧠 The adolescent brain is undergoing significant changes, particularly in the limbic system which governs emotions, while the prefrontal cortex, responsible for regulating these emotions, is still maturing.
• 🏄‍♀️ Parents are encouraged to 'surf the wave' of their children's emotions, using emotional management tools to navigate through turbulent times.
• 🌈 Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences should be considered when helping adolescents discover their strengths and talents, not just focusing on academic intelligence.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Parents should support and enhance their children's areas of strength, such as sports or other non-academic skills, rather than pressuring them into areas where they may not excel.

Q & A

How does Diana view adolescence, and what message would she give to parents and teenagers?

Diana views adolescence not as a crisis but as an opportunity. She would tell parents to see it as a chance to guide their children through self-discovery and to teenagers that they are in a phase of exploration and identity formation.

What are the three fundamental questions adolescents need to resolve during their teenage years according to Diana?

The three fundamental questions are: 'Who am I?', which is about self-identity and self-discovery; 'Who are you?', which is about understanding others and forming relationships; and 'What is my purpose in life?', which is about finding one's place and contribution to society.

Why does Diana mention the 'Law of the Mirror' by Yoshinori Noguchi in the context of adolescent-parent relationships?

Diana mentions the 'Law of the Mirror' to explain the four aspects that can lead to conflicts between parents and their teenagers: seeing our own image, seeing our opposite, seeing our undesired traits, and having unrealistic expectations.

How does Diana describe the process of teenagers trying to find their identity?

Diana describes it as a process of experimentation, where teenagers might adopt different styles or behaviors to test and assert their identity, which can sometimes lead to clashes with their parents.

What does Diana suggest parents should do when they see their own undesired traits reflected in their teenagers?

Diana suggests that parents should reflect on these traits and avoid imposing their own unmet expectations or fears onto their teenagers, instead focusing on supporting their teenagers' self-discovery.

Why does Diana say parents should let go of unrealistic expectations about their teenagers?

Diana advises parents to let go of unrealistic expectations because teenagers are in a phase of exploration and self-discovery, and pressuring them to conform to adult standards prematurely can be detrimental to their development.

How does Diana explain the emotional turbulence teenagers experience?

Diana explains that the emotional turbulence is due to the developing limbic system, which manages emotions, being in full development while the prefrontal cortex, which calms emotions, is not yet matured.

What advice does Diana give to parents regarding managing their teenagers' emotions?

Diana advises parents to use emotional management tools, like surfing a wave, to ride along with their teenagers' emotions rather than resisting or ignoring them.

What does Diana suggest about focusing on a teenager's strengths instead of just academic intelligence?

Diana suggests that parents should focus on their teenagers' multiple intelligences, not just academic ones, and encourage their strengths in areas like sports, music, or interpersonal skills, as these can also lead to successful futures.

How does Diana relate Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences to helping teenagers find their purpose?

Diana relates Gardner's theory by emphasizing that parents should recognize and support all forms of intelligence in their teenagers, as each intelligence can lead to fulfilling and successful paths in life.