7 reasons Why you keep attracting Married men / Unavailable guys
Summary
TLDRThis video script delves into seven reasons why some individuals may consistently attract married or unavailable partners. It explores patterns of attraction to unavailable individuals, the allure of what one can't have, and the impact of past relationship experiences, including 'daddy issues.' The script also addresses the desire for fun over commitment, self-worth, and the subconscious guarding of one's heart to avoid heartbreak. It concludes with encouragement to set boundaries and recognize one's value to attract healthier relationships.
Takeaways
- 🔍 Avoiding establishing a man's relationship status can lead to attracting unavailable men.
- 🤔 Paying attention to a man's behavior, such as hiding his phone or being unavailable after certain hours, can signal that he's not fully available.
- 💔 The desire for what seems unattainable can fuel attraction to unavailable partners, which may stem from anxious attachment.
- 📝 Identifying patterns in past relationships can reveal why you might be drawn to unavailable individuals.
- 🚫 Being clear about what you want in a partner can help avoid distractions from 'shiny objects' or temporary flings.
- 👨👧 Daddy issues, such as lack of a father figure, can influence the choice of romantic partners who are reminiscent of that absence.
- 🎉 Preferring fun and light-hearted interactions over deeper, more challenging aspects of a relationship can lead to attraction to those who are not fully invested.
- 💌 Believing you don't deserve someone fully committed to you can result in attracting partners who give minimal attention.
- 🚫 Setting boundaries and voicing your needs are crucial for attracting partners who respect and value you.
- 💔 Guarding your heart by choosing unavailable partners as a defense mechanism to avoid future heartbreak.
Q & A
Why might someone keep attracting married or unavailable men?
-The script suggests that this could be due to avoiding establishing a man's relationship status, having a pattern of wanting what you can't have, or being unclear about what you're looking for in a partner.
What are some behaviors that might indicate a man is trying to hide his relationship status?
-The man might hide his phone, take phone calls outside, be unavailable after certain hours, or take you to remote places to avoid being seen.
How does the concept of 'wanting what you can't have' relate to attracting unavailable men?
-This concept suggests that when a man is more unavailable, it feeds into an individual's anxious attachment, creating excitement and a challenge, which can be more appealing than a fully available partner.
What role might past relationship patterns play in attracting unavailable men?
-By analyzing past relationships, one might identify a pattern of being attracted to unavailable partners, which could be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Why might someone be drawn to 'shiny objects' or fun, temporary relationships over long-term commitments?
-The script implies that this could be due to a fear of commitment or a lack of clarity about what one truly wants in a life partner.
How can 'daddy issues' influence a person's choice in romantic partners?
-If someone grew up without a present father figure, they might unconsciously seek out unavailable partners as a way of recreating and working through that early relationship dynamic.
What does the script suggest about the mindset of someone who only wants the fun aspects of a relationship?
-The script indicates that focusing solely on the fun aspects can prevent someone from building a true, deep relationship that includes the more challenging and serious parts of life.
Why might someone feel they don't deserve a partner who fully chooses them?
-This belief could stem from low self-esteem or past experiences where they were not chosen or valued, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy of attracting partners who don't fully commit.
How can setting boundaries and vocalizing one's needs change the type of people one attracts?
-By clearly stating what is acceptable and what is not, and by expressing when one feels disrespected, an individual can attract partners who respect and value them more.
What is the psychological reasoning behind choosing unavailable partners to protect oneself from heartbreak?
-The script suggests that by choosing unavailable partners, one might subconsciously protect themselves from the pain of heartbreak, as they already know the relationship has limits and isn't fully invested.
What advice does the script offer for someone looking to break the cycle of attracting unavailable men?
-The script advises self-reflection, recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and understanding one's own value to attract healthier, more available partners.
Outlines
🔍 Identifying Patterns in Attracting Unavailable Men
This paragraph discusses seven reasons why someone might consistently attract married or unavailable partners. It starts by highlighting behaviors that suggest a man is hiding his relationship status, such as secretive phone use and unavailability after certain hours. The speaker suggests observing these behaviors to understand the situation better. It then delves into the psychological aspect, explaining how the desire for unattainable objects can create a pattern of seeking unavailable partners, which feeds into anxious attachment. The paragraph advises self-reflection by identifying similarities in past relationships to recognize these patterns. It also touches on the lack of clarity about what one truly seeks in a partner, which can lead to being distracted by 'shiny objects' or exciting but non-committal encounters. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about recognizing and walking away from a potential fling to stay focused on long-term relationship goals. Lastly, it mentions 'daddy issues' as a potential root cause for choosing unavailable partners, suggesting that unresolved childhood issues with a father figure can influence adult romantic choices.
💔 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Heartbreak to Attract Healthy Relationships
Paragraph 2 addresses the mindset that can lead women to believe they don't deserve a fully committed and present partner. It emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and communicating one's needs and values in a relationship. The speaker stresses the need to vocalize when disrespected or when something is out of line, which is crucial for attracting the right kind of people. The paragraph also discusses the subconscious belief that being with an unavailable person can protect one from heartbreak, as it allows for emotional distance and guarded feelings. The speaker acknowledges the pain associated with this mindset and suggests that there are ways to recover and change this pattern, which are further elaborated in the video. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for viewers to like the video, share it with friends, subscribe for more content, and turn on notifications to stay updated.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡unavailable guys
💡anxious attachment
💡daddy issues
💡shiny objects
💡side chick
💡heart guarded
💡breadcrumbs
💡patterns
💡boundaries
💡self-worth
💡fun
Highlights
Avoiding to establish his relationship status can lead to attracting unavailable men.
Hiding phone, taking secretive calls, and being unavailable after certain hours may indicate he's hiding a relationship.
Being taken to remote places might be an attempt to hide you, suggesting you're a 'side chick'.
Desiring what you can't have can lead to patterns of attraction to unavailable men.
Anxious attachment can be fed by men who are unavailable, creating a cycle of attraction.
Writing down similarities in past relationships can reveal patterns that attract unavailable partners.
Liking unavailable, non-prioritized partners can indicate a pattern of avoiding commitment.
Not being clear about what you're looking for can lead to distractions from 'shiny objects'.
Attraction to unavailable men might stem from 'daddy issues' and an absent father figure.
Recreating the love model experienced with an absent father can lead to choosing unavailable partners.
Seeking only fun and avoiding deeper commitment can attract men who are unwilling to invest in a relationship.
Believing you don't deserve someone who chooses you can result in attracting men who give minimal commitment.
Setting boundaries and vocalizing your needs can help attract partners who respect and value you.
Realizing your value and what you have to offer can change the type of people you attract.
Protecting your heart by choosing unavailable partners can be a subconscious way to avoid heartbreak.
Healing from past heartbreaks can help in attracting healthier, more available partners.
Sharing this video with friends can help them recognize and change patterns of attracting unavailable men.
Transcripts
Seven reasons you keep attracting married and unavailable guys.
You are avoiding to establish his relationship status. Yes,
he clearly told you that he's single, he is not married.
However, his behavior is just a bit… You have this inkling in you saying
that something is not right. You can see him hiding his phone,
he's going out to take phone calls, he's not available after a certain time of the day.
He may be doing things like taking you out in these remote places and you may
be thinking that, Oh, he's going the extra mile. He wants to impress you,
but maybe he's just trying to hide you because you are his side chick.
I would probably watch his actions and see what is happening.
You only want what you can't have. You have a clear pattern of maybe once
a guy is showing you a lot of attention, you're just like he's a bit needy…
However, when a guy is more unavailable, when he's able to feed all your anxious attachment
and he's pulling away, giving you a little bit of attention again, this is your thing.
And you are being fed on that. And this idea of not being able to have
something that you really want is almost giving you that little excitement that you're looking
for because you are not in a place where you can maintain a steady and healthy relationship.
I would sit down and write down some of the similarities that you can see in the previous
long-term relationships that you had. And maybe as you write that down,
you will see, Oh, there is a clear pattern. I'm very into people that are not present,
that are unavailable, that are not making me a priority.
And I'll talk about it a bit later, so make sure that you stay and you don't run away.
You are not clear about what you are looking for. When you are not clear about what you're looking
for it's very easy to get distracted by shiny objects.
This thing happened to me actually a few months… no, more than a few months ago.
I'm walking down the street and I see this guy and I check him out
a little bit. And then he checks me out. Next thing I know we are having a coffee on
that day that we just met, then we are going to have a meal at this lovely Italian place.
And I can clearly see how I'm very interested, he is very interested.
However, as I'm asking a few questions and I'm trying to figure out what this person is about,
I can sense it this could be my playmate for the next six months
and maybe we could have lots of fun playtime. However, that is not going to be my potential
life partner, my potential husband, or whoever that you are looking for.
As difficult as it is, I have to walk away from this shiny object. Delete his number,
so I am not tempted to do those things that are taking me away from where I actually want to be.
Another reason you may be interested in unavailable married guys is
because you have daddy issues. You may be coming from a family
where either your dad was not present, maybe your parents had a divorce when
you were young and for the majority of your life, your dad was not really there.
You did not have that support, the kind of relationship that a woman is supposed
to build with her father to actually know what that nourishing loving relationship is.
Because then later that translates into your romantic relationships.
And now because you have those so-called daddy issues and your dad was not present,
you are kind of picking and choosing these unavailable men, because when you are with
that unavailable man, you are recreating that love model that you experienced with your own father.
It may sound like, ‘Why would I want to have sex with someone that reminds me of my father?’
But it's just so deep-rooted in you that you may not even realize that.
And there may be a number of other issues that you are going through in your life just because your
dad was not present when you were growing up. Something I talk about in this video.
You only want the fun. You are not interested
in his sick mother, his back pain, his failed business venture, his horrible boss,
or whatever else he's going through. You only want the light-hearted fun.
Fancy holidays, dinners… So as much as you are thinking,
‘Oh, I'd like to actually meet someone with that I could build a beautiful relationship’
The way you are showing up, you only want the fun.
And the thing is, yes, it's amazing to have fun with that person.
However, if you want to build a true relationship, there will be tears, there will be disagreements
and there will be a lot of annoying things that maybe you don't like about this person,
that he's bringing to the table. Just like you're bringing yours.
You don't think you deserve someone who chooses you.
The thing is when you are a woman… You don't even have to be the most
strikingly beautiful, hot, whatever woman… But if you don't have this don't talk to
me attitude, you don't look like a witch or whatever, and you actually look at people,
people will come to you, people will approach you.
Now the thing is you as a woman you have a choice who is it that you want to pick.
And if you believe that you don't deserve anyone who really chooses you,
who wants to be present with you. If you only think that you deserve
to be with someone that only gives you breadcrumbs and the very minimum,
then guess what? You will only attract those people.
It's important that you start setting your boundaries and
you say what is right and what is wrong. It's important that you actually start vocalizing
what is it that you want, that you actually tell this person when you feel disrespected or when
this person did something that you feel is out of line. These things are extremely important.
Unless you start stating that, you will only continue attracting breadcrumbs.
The moment you realize your value and that actually what you have to
give is of importance, then you start attracting different kind of people.
You had your heart broken. You were really in love, this person hurt you.
And now you're thinking… Of course, you're probably
not even realizing that you are doing. But you are thinking subconsciously if I'm
seeing this person who's already unavailable, if I'm seeing this person who's married then
I can't really have my heart broken, because I already know that I'm just his side chick,
that his missus is waiting at home for him and he's never going to really be serious with me,
he's never really going to be invested in me. He's only gonna give me breadcrumbs.
So I'm just going to keep this distance. I'm going to keep my
heart guarded and as long as I'm keeping my heart guarded, no one can really hurt me.
And I know this is extremely painful, but there are certain things that you can do to recover.
Something I talk about in this video. Like this video, if you found anything
that I said useful, make sure that you share it with your girlfriend.
For more subscribe and hit notifications. Thank you so much for watching
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