Stop Rejecting Your Trauma & How It Changed You | Naftali Moses

Summary

The speaker explores the theme of personal growth through confronting and understanding one's traumas. They argue that avoiding pain and trauma prevents true maturity and self-awareness. By embracing rather than running from our past experiences, we can discover our purpose and contribute meaningfully to the world. The talk encourages viewers to face their inner darkness, suggesting that doing so can lead to a profound sense of identity and fulfillment.

Takeaways

• 🌱 Pain is often rejected because it contains a lot of love and is a part of growth and maturity.
• 🌟 The key to personal development is to investigate and understand one's traumas without identifying with them.
• 🔍 Facing what we refuse to face is crucial because it often challenges our value and fears, which are directly related to our purpose.
• 💔 Avoiding traumas can lead to a life of emptiness, void, and despair, and can affect future generations if not addressed.
• 🤔 Having a relationship with your traumas is essential for truly understanding yourself and your potential contributions to the world.
• 🏃‍♂️ Running from the beliefs created by traumas only confirms them and prevents personal growth and self-discovery.
• 🎭 Life is not linear; facing and integrating past traumas is part of the hero's journey and can lead to freedom and self-realization.
• 🌌 Opening oneself to something greater than personal experiences and traumas can lead to a deeper understanding of one's purpose and identity.
• 🤝 Embracing and integrating traumas can transform them from a source of pain into a source of strength and fulfillment.
• 🌐 The universe and eternity are connected to us, and recognizing this can help us see beyond our traumas and insecurities.
• 🙏 Gratitude for sufferings and struggles can lead to a profound understanding of one's identity and purpose in life.

Q & A

What is the main idea discussed in the video script?

The main idea is the importance of facing and understanding one's traumas as a path to personal growth and self-actualization, rather than avoiding them and letting them define one's identity.

Why does the speaker suggest that pain is often rejected despite its potential for love and growth?

The speaker suggests that pain is rejected because it challenges our sense of self-worth and requires maturity to let go of immaturity. It's a difficult process that involves confronting our deepest fears and insecurities.

What does the speaker mean by 'investigating your traumas'?

Investigating your traumas means examining the experiences that have caused you pain or distress without identifying with them, to understand their impact on your life and how they shape your behavior and beliefs.

According to the speaker, what is the relationship between traumas and one's purpose on Earth?

The speaker posits that traumas are directly related to one's purpose on Earth, as they can reveal what you are good at and are supposed to do. Facing these traumas can help you understand your true calling and contribute meaningfully to the world.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not identifying with one's traumas?

Identifying with traumas can prevent individuals from seeing their true selves outside of those experiences. It can lead to a limited understanding of one's identity and potential, and can perpetuate a cycle of pain and suffering.

What is the 'hero's journey' the speaker refers to, and how does it relate to facing traumas?

The 'hero's journey' is a narrative pattern where the protagonist faces a significant challenge or conflict, often involving a return to a place of past trauma. It relates to facing traumas by illustrating the process of confronting and overcoming personal demons as a path to growth and self-discovery.

What role does the speaker believe traumas play in shaping an individual's identity?

The speaker believes that traumas play a significant role in shaping an individual's identity, often influencing their beliefs, behaviors, and sense of self. However, it's crucial to face and understand these traumas to avoid让他们define who you are.

How does the speaker connect the idea of Divinity or a higher power to dealing with traumas?

The speaker suggests that opening oneself to a sense of Divinity or a higher power can provide a broader perspective and a deeper understanding of one's experiences, including traumas. This connection can offer a sense of purpose and meaning beyond personal suffering.

What does the speaker mean by 'the emptiness behind the relationship you're in'?

The speaker is referring to the feeling of void and disconnection that can arise when one avoids confronting their traumas. This avoidance can lead to unfulfilling relationships and a lack of genuine connection with others.

Why does the speaker argue that facing traumas can lead to a more meaningful and loving life?

The speaker argues that facing traumas allows individuals to understand and integrate these experiences into their lives in a healthy way. This process can lead to personal growth, self-acceptance, and the ability to form deeper, more meaningful relationships with others.

What is the final message the speaker wants to convey about embracing and integrating traumas into one's life?

The final message is that embracing and integrating traumas into one's life is not about being defined or controlled by them, but rather using them as guides for personal growth and self-understanding. This process can lead to a life of fulfillment, purpose, and genuine love.

Outlines

00:00

🌱 Embracing Pain for Growth

The speaker emphasizes the importance of facing and understanding one's traumas as a crucial step in personal growth. They argue that pain, often rejected, is a significant source of love and maturity. The speaker encourages the audience to investigate their traumas without identifying with them, suggesting that avoiding these experiences can hinder self-understanding and one's purpose on Earth. The narrative suggests that confronting fears, traumas, and insecurities is essential for personal development and can lead to a more meaningful life and relationships.

05:03

🔍 The Divine Within and Beyond Trauma

This paragraph delves into the concept of the Divine and its role in transcending personal traumas. The speaker suggests that personal development is limited without acknowledging a higher power or the interconnectedness of all existence. They propose that recognizing the Divine can lead to self-acceptance and the ability to heal from past traumas. The speaker also touches on the idea that people who deny the Divine often remain trapped in cycles of ego and personal pain, unable to achieve true growth or resolution. The narrative encourages seeking a deeper understanding of one's purpose and the transformative power of embracing rather than running from one's traumas.

10:06

💔 Healing Through Trauma Integration

The final paragraph focuses on the process of integrating trauma into one's life narrative as a means of healing and self-discovery. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights, suggesting that facing trauma head-on can lead to profound personal growth and a deeper understanding of one's identity. They advocate for a perspective where traumas are seen as shaping forces rather than defining characteristics, encouraging individuals to view their experiences as guides rather than masters. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-love and the integration of all aspects of oneself, including the painful ones, as a path to freedom and a more fulfilling life.

Keywords

💡Pain

Pain in the context of the video script refers to the emotional and psychological suffering that individuals often experience but are reluctant to confront. It is integral to the video's theme as it suggests that embracing pain, rather than avoiding it, can lead to personal growth and self-understanding. For example, the speaker mentions that 'the one thing that we reject the most that has the most amount of love in it is pain,' emphasizing the paradoxical role of pain in fostering love and growth.

💡Maturity

Maturity, as discussed in the script, is the process of developing emotional and intellectual depth, which includes the ability to face one's past and the associated traumas. It is tied to the video's theme by illustrating the necessity of letting go of immaturity to confront and understand one's experiences. The speaker suggests that 'a lot of maturity to create' is required to move beyond the pain and trauma of the past.

💡Trauma

Trauma is a central concept in the video, defined as deeply distressing or disturbing experiences that have long-lasting effects on an individual's psychological state. The video emphasizes the importance of investigating and understanding one's traumas to avoid being defined by them. The speaker uses the phrase 'investigating your traumas not identifying with them' to highlight the distinction between acknowledging past experiences and allowing them to shape one's identity.

💡Identity

Identity in the video script is the sense of self or individuality that a person develops. It is related to the theme by showing how unaddressed traumas and insecurities can inhibit the true understanding of one's identity. The speaker poses the question 'who am I' to illustrate the struggle for identity amidst the challenges of life and the impact of trauma.

💡Divine

The term 'Divine' in the script refers to a higher power or spiritual aspect that transcends personal experiences and traumas. It is connected to the video's theme by suggesting that embracing a sense of the Divine can provide a broader perspective and a deeper understanding of one's purpose. The speaker mentions the 'necessity for Divinity in your life' to convey the idea that a connection to something greater can offer solace and meaning.

💡Confront

To confront, within the context of the video, means to bravely face and deal with difficult issues or emotions, particularly one's traumas. It is a key action that the video encourages as a means to personal growth and self-discovery. The speaker states that 'the things that are the most important for us to face are the ones that we refuse to face,' underlining the importance of confrontation in overcoming personal challenges.

💡Insecurities

Insecurities in the script are feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty about one's self-worth, often stemming from past experiences or traumas. They are linked to the video's theme by illustrating how insecurities can influence one's behavior and relationships. The speaker reflects on 'my insecurities' and how they 'make me believe' certain negative beliefs about oneself.

💡Healing

Healing in the video is the process of recovering from or overcoming the effects of trauma or pain. It is related to the theme by demonstrating that embracing and understanding one's past can lead to emotional recovery and personal transformation. The speaker talks about 'healing them' in reference to the traumas one has experienced, suggesting that acceptance and understanding are part of the healing process.

💡Significance

Significance in the script refers to the importance or meaning of one's life and actions. It is connected to the video's theme by exploring the idea that individuals often search for a sense of purpose and value. The speaker discusses the 'chasing significance' and how facing one's traumas can lead to a realization of one's true significance in life.

💡Embrace

To embrace in the video means to accept and hold close, particularly in reference to one's traumas and insecurities. It is tied to the theme by showing that acceptance is a crucial step towards healing and self-understanding. The speaker encourages embracing the pain and darkness as a means to 'set yourself free from it,' indicating that acceptance is a form of liberation.

💡Purpose

Purpose in the script is the reason for one's existence or the objective that gives meaning to one's life. It is related to the video's theme by suggesting that understanding and confronting one's traumas can lead to discovering one's life purpose. The speaker connects purpose with finding peace and suggests that 'when you find peace you find your purpose,' implying that self-acceptance and understanding are pathways to discovering one's life's direction.

Highlights

The most rejected aspect with the most love is pain, which is a part of growing up and maturing.

People struggle with the concept of 'growing up' and letting go of immaturity.

There are three kinds of people: those who care, those who don't, and those who want to see the world burn.

Investigating one's traumas is essential for self-understanding and contribution to the world.

Facing the things we refuse to face is crucial because it challenges our value and identity.

Not having a relationship with your traumas means not having a relationship with yourself.

Running from beliefs created by traumas confirms and reinforces them.

As we age, we may find emptiness and despair in relationships and life if we avoid our traumas.

Traumas are relational and can shape who we are, affecting our relationships and self-perception.

Facing trauma requires courage and faith, much like a hero's journey in stories and films.

The hero's journey involves going back to face the dark representation of reality to grow.

Traumas can be seen as gifts that give us purpose and a reason for being here.

Childhood traumas, if unaddressed, can reappear in future generations.

Facing traumas can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a more meaningful life.

The concept of the Divine or a higher power is necessary for understanding and integrating traumas.

People who reject the idea of the Divine may be trapped in a cycle of ego and trauma.

Understanding that the self is not limited by experiences and traumas can lead to personal growth.

Embracing traumas can lead to healing and setting oneself free from their control.

The most important belief is that traumas shape us but do not define us; they guide but do not control us.

Facing and embracing traumas can lead to a life of fulfillment and meaningful relationships.

The process of facing trauma is like an adventure that can uncover one's gifts and purpose.

By integrating traumas, we can bring light and understanding to our lives.

Transcripts

I think the one thing that we reject the most  that has the most amount of love in it is pain  

you know we weren't born adults it's a lot to  let go of and a lot of maturity to create and  

a lot of immaturity to let go of and for anybody  who's really struggling with when do I grow up  

it's once you put childish things away you better  be real about what's childish too is you won't be  

left with much if you get rid of everything right  today I'm going to talk to you about one of the  

most important powerful things in your life and  I think you may have noticed this that there are  

three kinds of people people that care people  people that don't care than people that want to  

see the world burn now for the people that care  and this is going to be for those that really  

want to understand themselves better and what they  can contribute to the world the one most important  

thing in your life is going to be investigating  your traumas not identifying with them so the  

things that are the most important for us to  face are the ones that we refuse to face and  

I'll tell you why because sometimes it challenges  your value you go oh no your fears your traumas  

and your insecurities all of these things are  directly related to what you're supposed to do  

here on planet Earth to who you are to what  you're even good at and somehow we refuse to  

face them the most so I want to start this off by  saying you know if you don't have a relationship  

with your traumas then you really don't have a  relationship with yourself if you keep identifying  

with your traumas then you never know who you  are outside of them so the whole point of this  

is realizing something that's going to change your  life and listen to this if you keep running from  

the beliefs that were created from the traumas  that you've experienced then you just confirm  

them as you create create a new character of who  you are that not those things and as you get older  

you'll find the meaninglessness behind the thing  that you do the emptiness behind the relationship  

you're in and the absolute void and despair that  you experience on a silent level in the midst of  

your throne perhaps I realized this my in my  life which is what did my insecurities make  

me believe what did my traumas make me believe  well my traumas were really relational traumas  

meaning things that I experienced with women and  with my parents and how that affected me and you  

know here's a nice word for a trauma pain that  you refuse to face that has shaped who you are  

that you're afraid to find you so there's a lot  of pain in the experiences that you have so you  

need to be courageous in order to face it right  but you also need a lot of faith when going back  

and this is the whole thing that most people live  their life linearly and they forget the way that  

you set yourself free and the so-called people is  by going back it's every hero's journey and and  

every movie we've watched that has spoken to our  soul it's not the hero has a traumatic life and  

his village gets burnt down by this Evil dark  lord of sorts who's acquainted to his family  

it's like the fable stories of the video games  if you ever play them it's really like Star Wars  

in a lot of ways and all the great film that we  watch nowadays that has shaped our culture We  

Begin realizing that it's about going back to that  place being able to face that dark representation  

of reality whatever it is and to grow up past  us rejecting them determining whether it's bad  

or good the thing is that if we never get to go  back and we never get to face it for what it is we  

never get to see what it shaped us has to become  if you guys have ever seen Samurai Jack and I feel  

like that's the first thing that's coming to mind  here it's quite childish when I mentioned it but  

this was the thing that I grew up with and it was  something that changed my life because I was able  

to understand that you know his his his village  was destroyed by a coup right and he's supposed  

to be this demon Overlord that seeks destruction  but also there's this somehow deep relationship  

between Jack and him because it shaped Jack to be  who he is when we have a level of immaturity and  

we start playing the victim in relationship to  things that happen we never get to see why we're  

here we rob the world of the Divinity that it  needs from you so you almost run away from the  

responsibility of your life you become a Jona type  no matter how many times you get thrown overboard  

swallowed by a fish or spit out you're face of the  responsibility that's required and perhaps maybe  

even experiencing the pain of what happened as an  adult and so this is something that I've noticed  

that if people go years and years and years  without confronting their childhood traumas those  

childhood traumas just show up in their children  and in the future generation if those wounds  

don't go all dressed then who heals them you live  with a silent expectation that others need to do  

or you live with a delusion that nobody needs  to talk about them nobody needs to share them  

so what's the best thing that you can do well  start addressing how these things have affected  

you without the frame of this broke me there was  a client I was working with and it was one of the  

most difficult clients I worked with because of  how much it felt like it defined her and as I  

kept going deeper and it was like when your father  would hurt you and and when and when you were told  

these things about you and when as you got older  people said those things as an adult you separated  

yourself from the experience and you actually  avoid that and now this is the danger here as  

human beings things that you do not face go in the  back end and begin to function there so let's just  

say you've experienced a traumatizing childhood  Beyond anybody's comprehension the real question  

you need to ask yourself when facing this is does  that mean anything or am I just broken by life and  

so here's a very powerful framework for you guys  to understand and I'd like to draw it out but I  

could really just give you an understanding of it  this way people who refuse the idea of the Divine  

in their life are just left with a game of pass  between their ego their personal experiences and  

their traumas so no matter how big you get that  Circle no matter how much personal development  

you learn no matter how much I don't know whatever  religious teachings you try to seek it's the same  

conclusions you've you've never actually moved  past it you've just made wider circles arriving  

to the same conclusions meaning that you haven't  changed so at what point does somebody change well  

when they open themselves to something more than  themselves meaning that perhaps maybe the self is  

not just composed of your experiences and your  traumas perhaps that if you looked at it this  

way there's all of the universe and Eternity  that you were connected to or else your life  

would mean nothing and you're death would be  the end a very linear life but one that opens  

up themselves to the existential value something  that we understand all of reality to be connected  

to cuz it's something interesting how could you  connect to the Stars if you don't have them within  

you how could you look at the beauty around around  you and feel a connection with it if you didn't  

have that in you how could you love if you didn't  have love in yourself and all of these questions  

by the way are really Divine Concepts and you know  I'm kind of noticing how I'm really trying to open  

you guys up to the necessity for Divinity in your  life necessity for God a necessity for something  

more than yourself and I often notice that the  people who have a foundation to receive that  

and see that the self is not limited by the  experiences and traumas open themselves up to  

aspects of themselves that are more powerful than  they could ever imagine that show up in the shadow  

and also set others free from their own captivity  of their ego and themselves so in my life you know  

I didn't want to face the insecurities that I  had well the traumas that I had what were the  

traumas you'll never be loved the same way you  love others oh okay well let me run from that  

until it pops up in all of my relationships and  burns my life down you'll never be loved for who  

you are why constantly rejected for my own nature  and tendency perhaps how did that show up how did  

it manifest in my life have a deeper understanding  of it that's a very big thing if especially if you  

want to start resolving your pain and your traumas  and your behavior understood what hurt you without  

you making it about you so that's the importance  of it by the way which I noticed that most people  

who reject God and are trying to find leverage  and be God themselves often find themselves in  

a self-referencing circle with their own traumas  and insecurities as it just gets bigger and bigger  

as they technically become a larger narcissist  more arrogant more self-fulfilling and they never  

become resolved it's like it defined them it's  like the trauma one so you need an understanding  

of purpose and I spoke about this in the last  video and I and I really think there's a lot of  

value there you know not only when you find peace  you find your purpose but also when you make peace  

with these parts of yourself realizing the purpose  in it the purpose comes by your door and the  

connection that you guys get from purpose is one  that now not only makes your relationship another  

head in the crowd it this is the person that you  are made for as they are made for you and you  

don't need to ask questions about it why because  you're not delusional and looking for delusions  

you're connecting with reality so for everybody  who's experienced a trauma maybe later or earlier  

in life I noticed the most powerful thing to  understand is that it is given you the gifts  

and it is a reason why you are here when these  things begin to reoccur means that you need a  

deeper connection with this aspect of yourself  that you reject so you want to set yourself free  

you want to live a life to where you are fulfilled  you want to have a loving meaningful relationship  

then you need to understand the parts of you  that were traumatized so that you stop convincing  

yourself that you're broken and perhaps maybe  through the pain and the chaos is what sets you  

free the love that you really seek and I mean this  even in my life recently ending something with a  

person I viewed as very significant every time I  looked away from the pain and the Darkness that  

showed me about reality I lost the love I lost  it there's almost an overwhelming Sensation that  

I get and this is something for when you've truly  growing up you will say these words thank you God  

for my sufferings and my struggles and I mean  it I mean it you think of a life where you die  

by the end of it you're not leaving with anything  sometimes we deny ourselves the pain the sadness  

the insecurities the traumas the fear and then  we have nothing to say for ourselves because we  

don't even know who we are it's one of the biggest  questions I get nowadays whoa who am I an identity  

crisis Beyond an identity crisis traumas have been  told to something that inhibits you what if these  

things release you help you find you and it's like  you ever think about that you're born into a body  

in a world that you don't understand surrounded  by people who claim to love you and the one thing  

that you really want is a sense of identity who  am I the one thing that's most important you  

reject the most because you're too afraid to  face it because perhaps maybe it will confirm  

your deepest darkest fears about who you are and  what you're here to do and what is required from  

you the trauma is the incorporation of darkness  in your life that you need to integrate so that  

you can bring the light it's the part of you that  allows you to understand why you are here we don't  

look at ourselves as defects as rejects you start  beginning that the rejects that understand the  

parts of themselves that they no longer reject  become a functional force in the world and an  

Irreplaceable one and an invaluable one meaning  their value is irreplaceable so you begin to think  

of life outside of your own centricity and you  stop holding on to the pain you start feeling it  

oh my god when your father would speak to you like  that when he'd yell at you and make you feel small  

how fall small you would feel how insignificant  it made you but opposed to you facing that trauma  

it's just much easier to just run away from that  because maybe you're still chasing significance  

and so it's paradoxical you want to escape the  bubble you in you need to come down to the C core  

of what allows that bubble to exist those bubbles  need to be popped they need to be challenged those  

insecurities need to be faced and light needs to  be brought in and that's because you're going to  

come in with that I think of my life and I think  the only way to really describe it is through my  

own personal experiences I wasn't aware of my own  traumas what did that make me prone to searching  

for it again to then pce it on the girl that hurt  me no these things pop up in childhood and then  

they show up in the girl that you're with because  of your unaddressed mother wounds or daddy wounds  

and they affected you a lot of the time we're  afraid of going back there because we don't  

want to hate the people we love remember they  never wanted to hurt you you're just becoming  

familiar with reality and how you can hurt others  so perhaps if you want your love to matter begin  

to care more about yourself and understand what  that means to care about others is to go out of  

your way to integrate the parts of yourself that  can hurt others that's somebody that really loves  

somebody that looks to control to learn about  their nature that looks to understand how these  

traumas have shaped them and some of the deepest  love that you can ever get is actually on the  

other side of you embracing the traumas that  you have and you could heal them now of course  

there's no such thing as completely eradicating  it because then I just erase you as a person so  

the most important belief that you can have is  these shape me not Define me they guide me not  

control me and a lot of the time we feel like  we're controlled by it but perhaps maybe that's  

what you should investigate maybe you should  consider that this aspect of you has affected  

you for the greater good so there's a there's a  level of faith in going back and I noticed that  

when I work with most people nowadays it's like  they go back and they face the same conclusion  

that they were a fade facing so they go on  a three-day Journey a sum Marine trip down  

to the Marina Trench to realize yep Dad was  right worthless this is the hardest homework  

I'm going to give you what if I told you to sit  with it before you rejected it what if I told you  

to investigate maybe the lining of the floor that  says I'm worthless and to see if there's something  

underneath it I think what sets most people free  is when they're able to realize that they can be  

loved for that not because it's an expectation but  because they've showed up their whole life to make  

sense of the things that have happened to them  that they now embrace them live with them and that  

is the action of love to listen to embrace it and  to live with it that's loving that love sets you  

free from the trauma that you've experienced every  story that we know of a man of great achievement  

and a person that has overcome has faced these  parts of themselves has developed a relationship  

with them and maybe that's what we're afraid  of doing if I don't see it it's not there well  

we're going to flip it on its ass if I face it  I embrace it and I bring it into all aspects of  

myself that show it's there I set myself free  from it so the parts of you that perhaps that  

you reject that you keep in those traumas about  how the world is maybe this is the beginning of  

an adventure by which you investigate your gifts  and why you're here through your traumas let's  

lead with it with an open end to something so  much more that you're connected to and it will  

no longer be what defines you it'll bring the  fruit and the fullness to your life [Music]