6 Scientifically Proven Steps to Building Rapport with Anyone in Sales

Summary

This video script offers a guide to building rapport in sales, highlighting six scientifically-backed steps. It emphasizes matching vocal style and vibe with prospects, breaking typical sales patterns, focusing on their needs, and using techniques like repeating and rephrasing to deepen connections. The script also introduces feedback loops to keep prospects engaged during presentations, aiming to make sales interactions more human and less formulaic.

Takeaways

• 🤝 Building rapport in sales is crucial but often misunderstood; many salespeople unknowingly repel prospects from the start of the conversation.
• 🗣️ Matching vocally with prospects is essential; it involves adjusting the pace, tone, and volume of your speech to align with theirs for better connection.
• 🌟 Matching vibe involves aligning with the prospect's energy and demeanor, which can be as important as vocal matching for establishing rapport.
• 🔄 Breaking the pattern of typical sales approaches can help stand out and prevent prospects from immediately putting up their guard.
• 👤 Focusing on the prospect's needs and interests rather than your own or your product's features is key to building rapport and maintaining their attention.
• 🔄 Repeating and rephrasing what the prospect says demonstrates active listening and helps to deepen the connection by showing understanding and encouraging further discussion.
• 🔁 Feedback loops, such as asking 'Does that make sense?' or 'Do you see what I'm saying?' during presentations, keep the prospect engaged and provide opportunities for clarification or agreement.
• 📉 Prospects are often met with many salespeople and can become desensitized; breaking the mold of standard sales behavior can help in building rapport.
• 🎯 Tailoring your approach to each individual, without losing your core identity, is important for matching vibes and establishing a genuine connection.
• 🚫 Avoid starting sales calls with clichéd introductions; instead, use a more human and unique approach to stand out and build rapport.
• 💡 The script emphasizes the importance of understanding and applying scientific principles to sales techniques for effective rapport building.

Q & A

What is the main issue salespeople face when trying to build rapport with prospects?

Salespeople often unconsciously repel prospects due to mismatched communication styles, and prospects typically don't provide feedback, leaving salespeople unaware of their mistakes and unable to correct them.

Why is it important to match vocal styles when building rapport?

Matching vocal styles, including pace, tone, and volume, helps to establish a connection with the prospect and prevents the unconscious creation of a barrier due to a mismatch in communication.

What is meant by 'matching vibe' in sales interactions?

Matching vibe refers to aligning with the prospect's overall demeanor, energy level, and pace of interaction, which can include non-verbal cues and the strength of physical interactions like handshakes.

How can salespeople break the pattern of typical sales approaches?

Salespeople can break the pattern by doing the opposite of what prospects expect, such as starting a conversation in a less 'salesy' manner, avoiding common sales clichés, and being unique in their approach.

Why is focusing on the prospect's needs and interests crucial in sales?

Focusing on the prospect's needs and interests is crucial because prospects are primarily concerned with their own benefits. By addressing their concerns and goals, salespeople can build trust and rapport more effectively.

What is the significance of repeating and rephrasing in building rapport?

Repeating and rephrasing what the prospect says demonstrates active listening and understanding, which can deepen the connection and make the prospect feel heard and valued.

How can feedback loops be used during a sales presentation?

Feedback loops involve asking short, engaging questions throughout the presentation to ensure the prospect is following and agrees with the points being made. This keeps them involved in the conversation and provides opportunities for clarification or agreement.

What does the acronym WIIFM stand for, and how does it relate to sales?

WIIFM stands for 'What's In It For Me?' It relates to sales as it highlights the prospect's self-interest, emphasizing that salespeople should focus on the benefits to the prospect rather than their own needs or the features of the product.

Why is it essential for salespeople to avoid talking about themselves or their company during initial interactions?

Talking about oneself or the company can cause prospects to tune out because they are not interested in the salesperson's needs or the company's background. Instead, the focus should be on the prospect's challenges and how the product or service can address them.

How can salespeople ensure they are not perceived as 'salesy' when building rapport?

Salespeople can avoid being perceived as 'salesy' by adopting a more human and genuine tone, asking personalized questions, and focusing the conversation on the prospect's needs and interests rather than pushing a sales pitch.

What is an example of breaking the pattern in a sales call introduction?

Instead of starting with a traditional introduction like 'Hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today?', a salesperson could say 'Hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how have you been?' to create a more personal and less formulaic interaction.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Building Rapport in Sales

The paragraph discusses the importance of building rapport in sales and the common pitfalls salespeople face, such as unconsciously repelling prospects due to mismatched communication styles. It emphasizes the lack of feedback from prospects, which prevents salespeople from learning and improving. The speaker introduces six steps to build rapport effectively, starting with matching vocal styles, which includes pace, tone, and volume, to connect with the prospect and avoid creating an immediate disconnect.

05:03

🎭 Matching Vibe and Breaking Patterns

This section expands on matching the prospect's vibe, which encompasses non-vocal aspects such as pace, energy, and physical interactions. It also introduces the concept of breaking the pattern established by other salespeople by doing the opposite of what prospects expect. The speaker provides examples of typical sales calls and suggests altering the approach to stand out and build rapport. The focus is on adapting to the prospect's behavior and breaking the mold of traditional sales techniques.

10:04

👂 Focusing on the Prospect's Needs

The speaker stresses the importance of focusing on the prospect's needs and interests rather than one's own or the product's features. Prospects are only interested in how the sales interaction benefits them, and salespeople often fail by talking about themselves or their companies. The speaker advises shifting the conversation to the prospect's challenges and goals, using questions to engage them and make the conversation about them, which is crucial for building rapport and trust.

15:06

🔄 Repeating and Rephrasing for Deeper Connection

Here, the speaker introduces the technique of repeating and rephrasing what the prospect says as a method to build a deeper rapport. This approach shows that the salesperson is actively listening and understanding the prospect's concerns. It also allows for deeper exploration of the prospect's needs and challenges. The speaker credits this technique to hostage negotiator Chris Voss and emphasizes its effectiveness in making the prospect feel heard and understood.

🔁 Feedback Loops to Keep the Prospect Engaged

The final step in building rapport is using feedback loops, which involve asking the prospect questions throughout the conversation to keep them engaged. This method ensures that the prospect remains involved and can provide input, preventing the salesperson from monologuing without understanding the prospect's perspective. The speaker illustrates how feedback loops work during a presentation, using questions to confirm understanding and adjust the pitch accordingly.

📚 Conclusion and Call to Action

The speaker concludes by summarizing the six scientifically proven steps for building rapport in sales and invites the audience to share their thoughts on the most useful idea. They also promote a free eBook offering additional tips for sales success and encourage viewers to like, comment, and subscribe for more content. This paragraph serves as a conclusion to the video, providing a final opportunity for viewer engagement and highlighting additional resources.

Keywords

💡Rapport

Rapport refers to a harmonious or sympathetic relationship between people, characterized by mutual understanding and trust. In the context of the video, building rapport is essential for sales success as it helps in establishing a connection with the prospect, making them feel comfortable and more open to the sales pitch. The script emphasizes the importance of rapport by discussing how to avoid repelling prospects and instead create a positive and engaging interaction.

💡Prospect

A prospect, in sales terminology, is a potential customer or client who may be interested in the product or service being offered. The video script discusses the common issue of salespeople unconsciously repelling prospects due to mismatched communication styles. Understanding and adapting to the prospect's vocal style and vibe is highlighted as a key strategy for building rapport.

💡Vocal Matching

Vocal matching is the act of adjusting one's speaking style to align with that of another person, including pace, tone, and volume. The script explains that matching the prospect's vocal style is crucial for establishing rapport, as a mismatch can create a disconnect and hinder the sales process. An example given is adjusting from a loud and fast speaking style to a gentle and quiet one to match the prospect's demeanor.

💡Vibe

Vibe, in the context of the video, refers to the overall energy, demeanor, or atmosphere that a person gives off. Matching the prospect's vibe, which includes non-vocal aspects like body language and pace of interaction, is discussed as a critical step in building rapport. The script suggests that understanding and adapting to a prospect's vibe can make them feel more at ease and receptive to the sales conversation.

💡Pattern Breaking

Pattern breaking is the concept of deviating from the expected or typical behavior to stand out or create a different experience. The video script emphasizes the importance of breaking patterns in sales to avoid being perceived as 'salesy' and to establish a unique connection with the prospect. An example provided is changing the traditional sales call opening to something less formulaic and more personal.

💡Focus on Them

Focusing on 'them' means directing the conversation and attention towards the prospect's needs, interests, and concerns. The script explains that prospects are primarily interested in what benefits they can gain, and thus, salespeople should center their conversations around the prospect's challenges and goals, rather than their own needs or the features of the product.

💡Repeat and Rephrase

Repeating and rephrasing is a communication technique where one repeats a key phrase from the other person and then rephrases it to confirm understanding or to delve deeper into the topic. The video script describes this as a powerful method for building rapport, as it shows active listening and encourages the prospect to elaborate on their thoughts or feelings, as illustrated by the example of responding to a prospect's statement about a 'huge problem'.

💡Feedback Loops

Feedback loops are interactive moments within a conversation where one seeks confirmation or input from the other party, often through questions or prompts. The script discusses the use of feedback loops during presentations or when the salesperson is doing most of the talking, to ensure that the prospect remains engaged and feels included in the dialogue. Examples given include asking 'Does that make sense?' or 'Do you see what I'm saying?' to keep the prospect involved.

💡Salesy

The term 'salesy' refers to behavior that is overly promotional or stereotypical of sales tactics, which can be off-putting to prospects. The video script warns against coming across as 'salesy' by using traditional sales pitches or approaches, as this can trigger a prospect's defenses and harm the chances of building rapport. Instead, the script advocates for a more genuine and personalized approach.

💡WIIFM (What's In It For Me?)

WIIFM is an acronym for 'What's In It For Me?', which represents the self-centered perspective that prospects often have, focusing on personal benefits. The script uses this term to highlight the importance of understanding that prospects are primarily concerned with their own interests and how the product or service can address their specific needs or desires, rather than the features of the offering itself.

Highlights

Salespeople often unconsciously repel prospects from the beginning of the conversation.

Prospects typically do not provide feedback on sales interactions, leaving salespeople without learning opportunities.

Building rapport does not require being overly charismatic but follows a few key steps.

Matching vocal style with prospects is crucial for establishing a connection.

Vocal matching includes pace, tone, and volume to avoid creating a disconnect.

Salespeople should pay attention to the prospect's vibe and match it to build rapport.

Matching the prospect's vibe can be achieved without losing one's core identity.

Breaking the pattern of typical sales behaviors is essential to stand out and build rapport.

Focusing on the prospect's needs, challenges, and goals rather than on oneself or the product is key in sales.

Repeating and rephrasing what the prospect says helps in building a deeper connection and understanding.

Using feedback loops during presentations can keep the prospect engaged and provide real-time validation.

The importance of being perceived as understanding and attentive to build rapport.

Salespeople should avoid traditional sales pitches and instead adopt a more human and unique approach.

The concept of 'WIIFM' (What's In It For Me) and its significance in sales conversations.

The effectiveness of starting sales calls with a focus on the prospect's challenges rather than introducing oneself or the company.

The role of psychological mirroring in sales, as demonstrated by psychologists on TV.

The importance of engaging the prospect in a conversation about their needs and interests.

The value of a doctor's mindset in sales, focusing entirely on the patient or prospect.

Transcripts

Would you like to build rapport with anyone in sales?

Well, the science shows us that it is possible,

yet what's really happening in most selling situations

to most salespeople is that they're doing things

in sales that are actually unconsciously repelling prospects

from the very beginning of the conversation.

And, sadly, because prospects are typically nice people,

and they're not really looking to give us feedback

on what we did well and what we didn't do well,

they're just often trying to get away from us.

So we never really learn why that prospect

or that opportunity didn't go

the way we expected, it just happens.

So, ultimately, we never fix the problem.

And there are really only a few key steps

to ensuring that you can build rapport

with just about anyone, and it doesn't require

being hilarious or super charismatic.

In fact, it's just a few steps.

In this video I'm going to show you the six steps

to building rapport with anyone, check it out.

(clicking)

Number one, match vocally.

Now, this is something that a lot

of people don't really pay attention

to how they're matching their prospect vocally.

This is true whether we're face-to-face

or whether we're on the phone.

So often prospects have a vocal style.

Maybe they're really loud, and they speak quickly.

Or they're soft, and they're gentle,

and they almost speak in a whisper.

We want to pay attention to that pace,

that tone, and that volume that's coming from the prospect.

Because if they're really gentle,

and quiet, and soft, and we come in and we're fast,

and we're loud, and we're harsh in our tone,

immediately the prospect is going

to unconsciously feel a disconnect.

Where they don't know exactly why,

but they're not connecting with you in a way,

and immediately that wall goes up.

And we see this all the time.

Scientific studies have repeated this over and over again.

When we can match someone vocally

we can start to get on the same page.

I'll give you an example from outside of sales.

Just the other day I was with a doctor who we're only

a couple feet apart, and he was really loud.

You know those really loud talkers,

well, that's exactly what happened.

And immediately I'm thinking, man,

I'm not feeling really comfortable in this situation.

So we didn't ultimately have a connection.

And it didn't matter in that particular situation,

but this is what's happening to salespeople all the time.

Start to pay attention to how you're

matching your prospects vocally.

Number two, match vibe.

This is the other side of the scale, right,

so it's pretty much everything outside of the vocals.

In fact, it really in some ways incorporates vocals as well.

But each person, each individual

human being gives off a particular vibe.

Are they a quick mover, do they have a quick pace?

Do they come in with a strong handshake and a strong grip?

Or, again, are they a more gentle person,

and when they introduce themselves

they're slower paced and they're softer?

We want to pay very close attention to how the prospect

is behaving, and we want to start to match it.

Now, I know already I'm going to get comments

from people who are saying, well, you're telling me

to be different with each and every person?

Well, yes, but you don't have to give up who you are.

You can still have your core self,

but we want to start to match that vibe.

It's amazing how immediately disarming it

is when we start to match vibes.

You notice that if you've ever seen a psychologist

on TV they're immediately starting

to match the patient in front of them.

And that's exactly what we want

to do from a sales perspective.

So if the prospect ever answers the phone with a,

hello, we want to immediately start to match that tone,

that strong, clearly assertive tone with a strong vibe.

Because if we come in, and we're all soft and gentle,

immediately they're gonna be like,

hey, come on, move it along here.

On the other hand if they answer

the phone with, hello, we want to match that.

You can pick it up so quickly, that vibe.

So be sure that you're starting to pay total attention

to what that prospect is doing when you're in front of them.

Number three, break the pattern.

Now, I talk about breaking the pattern all the time.

And if you've been following my videos for a long time

this isn't the first time you've heard it.

But you can not hear this idea enough.

That what is happening with most selling situations

is the prospect who has probably met

with 20 other salespeople in the course of that week,

whether by phone or face-to-face.

And they are suddenly in front of you.

And if you are behaving in a way

that is similar to all of those other salespeople

out there, immediately the wall goes up,

and that rapport is immediately dead.

So what we need to do is we need

to immediately break that pattern.

We've got to break from whatever

the prospect expects us to do.

Because like all of the other salespeople out there,

they expect us to behave in a certain way.

And our job is instead to do the exact opposite.

So if every salesperson were marching

east we want to march west.

We want to constantly break that pattern,

and particularly so at the beginning of interactions.

So, let's take a typical example

of how a salesperson is starting a phone call.

Most salespeople are starting a sales call

with some version of, hey George,

Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today?

What is the prospect immediately going

to feel as a result of that experience?

Realistically, they're going to immediately

have their wall go up because we have behaved

in a way that is super duper salesy.

So what we need to do is break that pattern.

This is how we built a strong rapport with our prospect.

Building rapport isn't about magic.

It's just about not being perceived as salesy,

and making them feel like, yeah,

you know what I'm comfortable with this person.

So next time you're in front of a prospect,

instead of coming in with the traditional old school,

hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today?

Instead, maybe switch it up.

Break that pattern by slowing down the tone,

and sounding a little bit more human,

and maybe using a line that sounds a little bit different.

Something along the lines of, hey George,

Marc Wayshak calling, how have you been?

Now, I don't need to get into the science

of exactly what I just said there.

I've done a lot of videos on starting calls,

and the data behind those exact lines that I just used.

But what we want to be doing is using approaches

that the data shows us works and is also going

to be very different from what the prospect expects.

We do that, and we're much more likely

to truly build a strong rapport with that prospect.

Number four, focus on them.

You know, I used to have a mentor who would always tell me

that prospects listen to one radio station.

You know what that radio station is, WIIFM. (laughs)

And some of you may know what that means,

which is what's in it for me, what's in it for me?

Prospects don't care about you.

They don't care about the fact

that you need to close a sale.

They don't care about your life.

They don't even care about your product.

They certainly don't care about your company.

And I hate to say it again, but they don't care about you.

All they care about is themselves.

So when so many salespeople are starting calls

by talking all about themselves, or all about their product,

or all about their company the prospect

is immediately starting to tune out.

And you've been there, if you've ever been a buyer,

and the salesperson just starts talking about themself,

or maybe even in a non-sales situation

where you're talking to someone at a barbecue,

and all they want to do is talk about themselves.

And all you want to do is get

the hell out of that conversation.

We need to change the focus of our conversations

from ever talking about ourselves to talking about them.

Even when we do talk about ourselves we need to do it

within a frame that is really still focused on them,

and the challenges that they want to overcome,

and the goals that they want to accomplish.

So even at the beginning of a conversation

when we're talking about the purpose

of our call we still want to give them some insight

that's actually ultimately helpful in their own business,

that's ultimately focusing on them by maybe focusing

on some of the challenges that you commonly solve.

So starting a call with, George,

the reason for my call is that I work

with a lot of companies that often come

to me when they're struggling with, dealing with,

frustrated about, whatever it is, right?

We're going to talk about the challenges.

And then, of course, we want to engage them

in that conversation by saying something along the lines of,

does any of this ring true to you,

or does this make sense with you?

Suck them into that conversation,

so that way they start talking about what they care about,

which is who, not you, them, right?

All they care about is themselves.

Focus on them, and then target the rest

of the conversation around them.

You know, again, I always talk about this idea

of we want to have that doctor's mindset.

A great doctor is going to spend the entire conversation

really focused on the patient.

In your case you really want to be focused on them.

And even when you're doing your presentation

it's ultimately about how your solution is going

to solve the challenges that they have already discussed.

So it's 100% focused on what

they care about, which is again, whom, them.

Number five, repeat and rephrase.

Now, this is something that I've been using

in my selling system for a long time.

But, actually, the way I look at it now I give credit

to an author named Chris Voss, who was a hostage negotiator.

And he recently wrote a book called Split the Difference.

And he talks about how in hostage situations

what we often want to do in order to create that rapport,

create that connection, is to repeat

what they say and rephrase what they say.

Now, he doesn't use that exact language,

but that's my takeaway from it.

And I've seen that now there's a lot of research

that shows that when we repeat what the prospect told us

or we rephrase what they told us, immediately they start

to think, hey, this person is getting me.

This person is listening to me.

And, also, often it allows us to actually dig more deeply.

Let's say a prospect says something along the lines of,

yeah, you know, that's a huge problem.

The response would be, huge problem?

And then let them open up and say, yeah,

so what happened is this, and that, and this, right?

So it's allowing you by simply repeating a key phrase

of what they said, now it's going to take them deeper.

Then, once you've started to understand what they're saying

you can rephrase what they say with something like this.

So, George, if I'm hearing you correctly what you're saying

is A, B, and C are those key challenges, is that correct?

And let them say, yes, that's exactly right, or no,

actually, you know, A and B was right, but C not so much.

Let me tell you about what that key challenge is.

And what we're doing is we're showing

that we're really paying attention.

We're taking it so much more deeply into that conversation.

So by repeating and rephrasing we're going to build

a much stronger rapport with that prospect.

Because in their mind they're thinking this is

someone who is understanding what I'm saying.

You know, let's not take for granted how valuable

a commodity being understood actually is.

When people feel like they're understood

they can suddenly feel good about that person.

It's really, really powerful stuff.

So start to repeat and rephrase what your prospects

are saying to build a much deeper rapport.

Number six, feedback loops.

This is just another really powerful scientifically

proven way to go so much deeper with your prospects.

And this often comes when you're actually doing more

of the presenting or you're doing more of the talking.

When you're in a situation where you have to go on

for let's say 45 seconds of talking,

but you want to rope them back into the conversation.

So, let's say you're in the

presentation phase of your conversation.

So you're talking about a key feature,

and you're saying, George, what this is going to do

is it's gonna ensure that you're solving

that problem A that you just mentioned.

Does that make sense?

And what they're naturally going to do is say, yeah,

that does make sense, or no, that doesn't make sense.

That's a feedback loop, it's that little question,

like does that make sense, or does that work for you,

or do you see what I'm saying, or is that okay?

Whatever it is, it's these little questions.

It could even be like, cool, right?

Any little question that is sucking someone back

into the conversation is going to get them to feel engaged.

So you never want to be in a situation

where you're talking, and talking, and talking without

at least interjecting some feedback loops throughout.

And what you're going to find is that it ensures

that the prospect is with you the whole way through,

because they'll tell you if it's not.

On the other hand, if it is, then now

you're getting these little closes.

So, there are the six scientifically proven steps

to building rapport with anyone in sales.

I want to hear from you, which of

these ideas did you find most useful?

Be sure to share down below in the comment section

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