The Biggest Skill Men Need In Today's World
Summary
TLDRThe video script addresses the emotional struggles faced by men, highlighting the importance of improving emotional quotient (EQ). It points out societal issues such as high suicide rates, loneliness, and unemployment among men, and emphasizes the need for men to take responsibility for their emotional well-being. The script discusses the reliance on female partners for emotional support and the negative consequences of this dependency, such as the increased risk of suicide post-breakup. It then offers strategies for men to improve their emotional intelligence, including learning to communicate emotional needs effectively, dealing with awkwardness in conversations, and seeking emotional support from peers. The video also touches on the need to move away from anger and towards accountability, and to accept oneself rather than constantly trying to transform into an idealized version. It encourages men to build social connections outside of romantic relationships, to take control of their lives, and to support each other in overcoming emotional challenges.
Takeaways
- 🧐 **Emotional Support**: Men often rely on their female romantic partners as their primary source of emotional support, which can be problematic when relationships end.
- 🚷 **Compartmentalization**: Men tend to segregate relationships into different categories, which can lead to issues such as the 'girlfriend zone' and 'friend zone' dynamics.
- 🤝 **Building Connections**: It's crucial for men to learn how to communicate emotional needs and form deeper connections with other men to avoid over-reliance on women for emotional support.
- 💪 **Instrumental Support**: Men are often conditioned to offer solutions (instrumental support) rather than empathy, which can be limiting when emotional support is needed.
- 🗣️ **Communication Skills**: Learning to ask for and receive emotional support from other men involves using the right language and expressing the need for help in processing emotions.
- 😅 **Handling Awkwardness**: When expressing vulnerability, men should be prepared to handle awkwardness and use prompts like 'help me understand' or 'can you tell me more' to keep conversations going.
- 😡 **Channeling Anger**: Anger can prevent personal growth and accountability; it's important to address this and work towards resolving issues constructively.
- 🤔 **Accountability Over Blame**: Taking accountability for one's actions rather than merely blaming others is key to personal improvement and breaking negative patterns.
- 🙅♂️ **Rejecting Transformation Fantasies**: Men should stop dreaming of transforming into an idealized version of themselves based on external pressures and instead accept and work with who they are.
- 🤝 **Community Support**: There is strength in community, and men should seek and offer support within their social circles, including online communities and support groups.
- 🏋️♂️ **Self-Improvement**: Acceptance and commitment to self-improvement, rather than external validation, are vital for sustained motivation and personal development.
Q & A
What is the current situation that men are facing in terms of emotional support and societal pressures?
-Men are struggling with high suicide rates, loneliness, and unemployment or lack of education and training. They often rely on women for emotional support, which can lead to problems when relationships end.
Why is it important for men to take responsibility for improving their own lives?
-It is important because men are often socialized to be independent and self-sufficient, and relying on others for emotional support can create a burden and limit their ability to solve their own problems.
What is the issue with men's primary source of emotional support being their female romantic partners?
-This can lead to over-reliance on women for emotional support, and when relationships end, men may lose their primary source of support, leading to increased risk of issues like depression and suicide.
How can men improve their ability to communicate emotional needs to others?
-Men can learn to use the language of instrumental support to ask for help with emotional issues, expressing the need for assistance in sorting through emotions or clearing their head.
What are some strategies for dealing with awkwardness when discussing emotional issues with other men?
-Men can ask for help understanding, request more information, or use phrases like 'Can you tell me more about that?' to navigate the conversation and feel safer.
Why is it problematic for men to compartmentalize their relationships?
-Compartmentalization can lead to a lack of diverse social connections and emotional support systems, causing men to become overly reliant on romantic partners for emotional support.
How does anger prevent men from taking accountability for their actions?
-Anger can lead to a black-and-white thinking pattern where men blame others for their problems, which absolves them of any responsibility and hinders personal growth and change.
What is the concept of 'transformation' that men often fall into when dealing with problems?
-Transformation is the idea that men need to change who they are fundamentally to overcome problems, which can lead to external control over their lives and a lack of sustainable motivation.
Why is acceptance a more beneficial approach than transformation for men facing personal challenges?
-Acceptance allows men to take control of their lives and not be dictated by external circumstances, leading to more sustainable motivation and positive change over time.
What is the role of the community and social connections in helping men overcome emotional challenges?
-Community and social connections provide a support system where men can share their experiences, learn from each other, and find help in overcoming emotional and personal challenges.
How can men start to build better relationships and emotional support systems outside of romantic partnerships?
-Men can start by learning to communicate their emotional needs more effectively, seeking out diverse social connections, and taking accountability for their actions rather than relying solely on romantic partners for support.
Outlines
😀 Addressing Men's Emotional Struggles and the Importance of EQ
The speaker begins by highlighting the emotional struggles men are facing, such as high suicide rates, loneliness, and unemployment. They emphasize the need for men to take responsibility for improving their own lives, rather than relying on societal changes. The paragraph discusses the reliance on female partners for emotional support and the issues that arise when this support is lost, such as after a breakup. The importance of developing core emotional quotient (EQ) skills to handle problems and improve relationships is stressed.
😔 The Challenge of Expressing Emotional Vulnerability Among Men
The speaker shares a personal story about reaching out to his ex-wife for emotional support and being met with a lack of understanding. This leads into a discussion about societal norms that discourage men from expressing vulnerability, except with women in their lives. The paragraph explores the research on men's mental health and the tendency to compartmentalize relationships, which results in a lack of emotional support outside of romantic relationships. The speaker suggests learning a new language to communicate emotional needs to other men and offers strategies to deal with the awkwardness that can arise.
🤔 Learning to Understand and Respond to Emotional Expressions
The speaker provides advice on how to respond when a man expresses emotional vulnerability. They suggest using phrases like 'help me understand' and 'can you tell me more' to facilitate conversation. The paragraph discusses the societal expectation for men to solve problems and the tendency to channel anger rather than accountability. It also touches on the negative impact of anger on a man's ability to take responsibility and improve their situation.
😠 The Problem with Anger and the Need for Accountability
The speaker delves into the issue of anger among men and how it often prevents them from taking accountability for their actions. They discuss the cognitive and physical effects of anger, which narrows perspective and hinders personal growth. The paragraph includes references to scientific literature and personal anecdotes to illustrate the point. The speaker encourages men to decompress their anger and take responsibility for their part in their problems to enable positive change.
🚫 Stopping Transformation Fantasies and Embracing Acceptance
The final paragraph addresses the common male desire to transform into an idealized version of themselves to solve problems. The speaker argues that this mindset leads to a lack of control over one's life and a cycle of resentment. They advocate for acceptance and commitment as a healthier approach, drawing on the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy. The paragraph concludes with a message of empowerment, encouraging men to take control of their lives and not let external circumstances dictate their actions or self-worth.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Emotional Quotient (EQ)
💡Compartmentalization
💡Instrumental Support
💡Anger
💡Accountability
💡Acceptance
💡Transforming
💡Social Connectedness
💡Mental Health
💡Toxic Masculinity
💡Self-Sufficiency
Highlights
Men are struggling with high suicide rates, loneliness, and unemployment, and societal changes have removed traditional support spaces.
Men are often left to solve their problems independently, with limited emotional support outside of female partners.
Research indicates men primarily rely on female romantic partners for emotional support, which can be problematic post-breakup.
Men are socialized to express emotional vulnerability primarily with women, leading to a lack of emotional expression with other men.
Men often compartmentalize relationships, which can lead to issues like the 'friend zone' and 'girlfriend zone' dynamics.
Men need to learn a new language to communicate emotional needs effectively to other men.
Men tend to offer instrumental support rather than emotional support, which can be unhelpful for those seeking to express emotions.
The speaker recommends phrases for men to use when seeking emotional support, such as 'I need help sorting through my emotions'.
Men need to learn how to deal with awkwardness and feel safer in conversations about emotions.
When feeling awkward, men can ask for more information or clarification to better understand and navigate the situation.
Anger often prevents men from taking accountability for their actions and can lead to a lack of personal growth.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach that encourages accepting reality rather than trying to change it.
Men are encouraged to stop compartmentalizing relationships and start building social connections outside of romantic relationships.
The dream of transforming into an ideal man is often triggered by external circumstances, which can lead to a loss of control over one's life.
Acceptance, rather than transformation, is key to taking control of one's life and making sustainable changes.
Men are called to take responsibility for their emotional well-being and to develop healthier ways of handling emotions and problems.
The community and supportive networks can play a significant role in helping men navigate emotional challenges and improve their lives.
Transcripts
hey y'all today we're going to talk
about core EQ or emotional quotient
skills that men need to improve their
life so men are struggling a lot right
now the suicide rates are at an all-time
high we've got a loneliness epidemic we
have a large number of men that for the
first time in history are neats not in
employment education or training so men
are really struggling and when people
talk about this problem they'll talk
about societal kinds of things like we
need to raise awareness there are papers
about things like the loss of third
spaces right so these are P places that
we used to hang out and get to know each
other but as these things are
disappearing we're still left with a
fundamental problem which is like yeah
like this stuff is a problem but who's
going to fix it who is taking the
responsibility for actually improving
the lives of men and that's right
because as men it's up to us right we
are independent we're self-sufficient
women and children get access to the
lifeboats but we as men need to solve
problems on our own and this is
something that we see a lot even on the
internet the men's lonelyness epidemic
is not going to be solved by women so
this is a post that interestingly enough
I don't even disagree with right so
right now one of the biggest problems
that men struggle with is that their
primary source of emotional support is
usually their female romantic Partners
in heteronormative relationships and
there's even research about this so
let's kind of take a quick look at a
paper so I tried to call up my ex-wife
now day after discharge which she
wouldn't answer the phone I sent her a
message saying can you please call me
because we need to talk about things
that can't be said in a text message so
she called me and I told her about what
had happened the night before about how
I'd been to the hospital and she said
I'm going to hang up now and I said no
no no I have to tell you what happened
and she said I'm going to hang up now
I'm going to get you somebody who can
help you this is from a paper called
masculinity and mental illness in and
after men's intimate partner
relationships so this paper very well
highlights a huge problem that men have
which is that we rely on women for
emotional support and even after they
break up with us or we break up with
them or after they're our exes these are
the only places that we know how to go
and I think understandably women are fed
up with it so today we're going to talk
about core skills
that you can use and if you got pissed
off by this that's okay we're going to
address that too core skills and things
that you can do to actually improve your
relationships and skills that you can
develop to better handle the problems
that you face as a man hey y' I want to
take a second to talk about star Forge
PCS so I am in love with these gaming
machines because I love gaming the
problem is that I started building PCS
when I was 12 and I just don't have the
time for it anymore and if you really
think about it like sure you can keep up
with all the trends and stuff but but
chances are especially if you're a
healthy gamer you may have better things
to do with your time so if you're like a
college student I love that they have
the horizon line which is like more
economical really solid gaming PC and
instead of like spending 15 hours
following trends like you know study
your for your final and like get a
better grade and then get a better GPA
then get a better job and then go live
your life so if you're like me and
you're like a professional and you want
to really solid gaming PC because you're
a gamer but you also don't want to waste
the time to figure out what's good and
what's not I highly recommend star Forge
all of their PCS are built in Austin by
Gamers who really know what they're
doing and if you're like me like you
build a PC once every 3 years and you
screw up the gel on the heat sink if you
know what I'm talking about you know
what I'm talking about all this kind of
crap you don't have to worry about
they're going to do everything for you
it'll be a solid PC it'll run your games
and this is the crazy thing every single
one of their PCS I've ever used also run
Zoom at top specs so check out star
Forge I absolutely love
them so the first thing that we need to
talk about is compartmentalization so
men tend to compartmentalize our
relationships so we tend to have this
group of buddies that I game with these
are my outdoor friends this is my family
those aren't my friends these are
different kinds of people so as men we
tend to compartmentalize very very
heavily and one of the compartments that
we make is that women are the people
that are our primary source of emotional
support and they're also the people that
we want to get romantically involved
with we tend to tie the two things
things together now this creates all
kinds of problems when we
compartmentalized relationships like
this we get stuck into these dynamics of
girlfriend Zone and friend zone so we as
men are socialized to express only emot
emotional vulnerability with usually the
women in our lives so these are usually
people like mothers sisters or
girlfriends and when we express this
emotional vulnerability with other men
we tend to get made fun of or they don't
know how to deal with it let's look at
some more research so this is from a
different paper which we'll talk about
but I needed to get lots of Courage
together to tell a friend of mine and I
kind of said uh I think I'm depressed
and he's like Ah that's a shame laughs
and it didn't really go anywhere you
know it felt like I invested put myself
out there on a limb and built up and had
to sort of build myself up to a struggle
to get the words out even to say the
actual words it was a struggle to say
the actual words and it came out real
sort of land and it probably didn't
sound like much but it didn't go really
go anywhere I guess because Beyond just
saying I'm depressed you kind of need to
talk about it more than that right right
so if you're a dude listening to this
you know exactly what this person is
going through let's take a look at
another example I could tell because we
know each other so well that he was
passing a sort of judgment on me and it
was a passive thing for him but it was
just like that's how it is man and then
he was sort of like yeah yeah he sort of
understood like you could just see that
it was difficult for him to be like okay
and how does that work and I'd be like I
don't know so in that sense I haven't
confided in many other people this is
from a paper called masculinity social
connectedness and men's and mental
health men's diverse patterns of
practice if we look at this situation
what do we see we see that we as men do
not know how to engage with other men
and this creates huge problems this
creates all kinds of problems for women
because women are left with the burden
of our emotional support outside of
romance and this is why if you look at
men who go through a breakup there is a
fourfold increase in suicidal risk post
breakup why is that that's because when
we lose a girlfriend or wife we also
lose our best friend who emotionally
supports us so it's kind of like
everything falls apart all at once
because we do not have social connection
ESS systems outside of the women that we
date and we absolutely need to build
those and I'm going to teach you how to
do that here and now so the first thing
to understand is we need to learn a
different kind of language so as we saw
in these examples we as men don't know
and this isn't our fault we don't know
how to communicate our emotional needs
to other people so as men we also know
that when you go to a dude with a
problem the dude will go into caveman
problem solving mode right so if you go
to a friend and you say hey bro I'm
depressed your friend will say like ah
me no depressed go to gym build
confidence get sexier this will help or
men have beer so when we go to other men
to discuss our problems what ends up
happening is that they offer something
called instrumental support So when men
try to support other men we don't just
talk about our problems because there's
no point in that right we offer
Solutions so what we're going to teach
you
is how to use the language of
instrumental support but to gain
emotional support and not need to rely
on the women or girlfriends in our life
okay so I'll give youall a couple of
sample things that you can say so the
first is hey man I need help thinking
through some stuff hey man I need help
sorting through my emotions hey man I
need help clearing my head and so when a
man hears this this is when they will
understand and provide the support that
you need ah man know sometimes head have
lots of thoughts sometimes in head is
confusing can help to get things out of
head empty head is good head so in these
moments what you are actually doing is
asking for instrumental support hey bro
help me sort through these emotions I'm
not looking to go to the gym I'm not
looking to get introduced to your
girlfriend's BFF I'm not looking for any
of that stuff I need help with what is
on the inside in the best way to do do
that is to say hey I need help with dot
dot dot and then some kind of emotional
statement because if you say something
like I'm depressed you're going to get
this kind of answer because men don't
know how to respond to that and so this
is the second thing that we're going to
teach you is how to deal with that
awkwardness it's not just that we need
to say these kinds of things to get the
right kind of support it's that we also
need to learn how to deal with the
awkwardness we don't know what to say we
don't know what to do so this is where
we're like hey bro I'm depressed and
someone else is like yeah man it do be
like that sometimes and then y'all both
shrug yall fist bump and then you ceue
up for the next game so we need a way to
deal with that awkwardness and actually
feel safer in it and dive in so the next
time that you feel awkward and this is
going to be the compass don't pay
attention to what people are saying or
anything like that doesn't matter what
they say thing to pay attention to is do
you feel awkward do you not know what to
say in this conversation because that's
something that you can absolutely in ah
man confused man not know what to do
friend is depressed here man have beer
beer will help let us go play video game
do you want to play with my dog men play
with dog men feel better so when you
don't know what to do we're going to
teach you a couple of things to say it's
going to be so easy number one help me
understand that anytime a man comes to
you and says something that makes you
feel awkward or you think they're trying
to say something you can just say help
me understand that second thing you can
say is can you tell me more that's it
that's all we need to do it's actually
not that hard it's hard until you know
how to do it and we're not taught these
things it doesn't make us stupid and
it's frustrating for women because we're
not taught this stuff right so we just
know one place to go for emotional
support that's not their fault they're
getting overwhelmed by it so we need to
learn how to do this ourselves because
we are men and we have to solve our own
problems right we can't rely on other
people for help so if you're feeling
awkward just ask people hey can you tell
me a little bit more about that can you
help me understand can you tell me more
say more bro preach brother you know you
can do some of that stuff but I don't
know if that's going to move in the
right direction so this is the first
important thing that we need to learn as
men stop compartmentalizing our
relationships now the second thing that
we need to learn is how to turn anger
into accountability so a lot of what
holds Ben back is that when we have
problems in life we get pissed about it
and if you look at toxic masculine
spaces on the internet which I don't
agree that they're entirely toxic what I
mean is the space is that other people
label as toxic what you will see is a
lot of anger now anger can be good in a
lot of ways it's not our fault that we
actually feel very angry because we as
men are socialized to experience only
one emotion there's only one thing we're
allowed to do which is be angry right
and this is where people say no no no
it's like it's okay to cry like people
will say that but then if you actually
cry in front of other people you will
get punished and let's not forget all of
the other emotions because now we have a
couple of movies out there where they're
really manly men who are crying right
but they're such Heroes that it makes it
so beautiful oh my God he's crying oh my
God I love him so much but what about
anxiety oh I don't know what to do
you're a bundle of nerves you're having
a panic attack you're worried about your
future do people tolerate that not at
all and what about shame oh yeah I'm a
piece of I'm pathetic I'm this I'm
that like I don't know if I'm ever going
to amount to anything in life do people
be like oh my God that must be so hard
for you and like you like no they're
usually like no man can do go gym have
beer this will fix problem men know this
is difficult right so it's not just
women it's we don't know how to deal
with this stuff and the number one
problem with anger is that it absolves
us of accountability see anytime you
look at Angry Men there is usually not
any accountability that goes with it
once again let us look at the scientific
literature I was angry like I was
devastated that I lost her the partner
but it's because she broke up the family
unit like a lot of guys get angry
obviously and I was angry just because
she broke up the family unit you know I
couldn't get to see my daughter as much
as I wanted to so this is a very common
experience for men where we will sort of
get really upset at the women in our
lives or other people for doing us wrong
right how dare she take her daughter
away from me or my daughter away from me
oh my God we get so angry and then if
you go to an online form people will say
yeah like oh man like all women are
and they'll say things like that
right and and I think it's
understandable to be angry but there are
a couple of problems with this in this
case so here in Mick downplayed the loss
of his partner in assigning her blame
for his changed Family Access mi's lack
of introspection for his culpability in
the shift hinted at male entitlement and
patriarchy where in grievances for
losing control of his family Drew anger
rather than accountability now this is
where I don't want to get triggered by
the whole patriarchy thing but one thing
that I will say from a science
perspective generally speaking when we
get angry at things we do not take
accountability so this is forget about
the patriarchy triggering words let's
just understand this right when someone
gets angry at you for something do they
accept the blame that they had now let's
think very dispassionately generally
speaking when some when two people break
up is it usually one person's fault
usually it takes two to tango it takes
two to break up the problem with anger
from a neuroscience perspective is that
anger makes our thinking black and white
right so anytime we feel angry what
literally happens is all of our physical
peripheral vision collapses down to 30°
and the same thing happens to us
cognitively we can only see this one
thing and if you look at the real world
very few things in the real world are
black or white very few things are 100%
this person's fault the challenge is
it's not that the woman in some way is
not to blame because it takes two to
make a relationship the problem is that
when you are angry it is very difficult
for you to take accountability for your
actions so literally when pissed off men
come into my office to do Psychotherapy
we will start by decompressing the anger
once we decompress the anger then we can
appropriately assign blame we can say
this is what she did wrong what did you
do wrong and this is the beautiful thing
about doing that see if we blame the
other person 100% of the for the problem
then we can't actually control things
right because this isn't in our hands
there's nothing that I did wrong what
this means is that I am a victim to
whatever person I have a relationship
with they have all the power because
they're fully accountable and so
literally what I've seen in patterns of
men is that the more angry they get the
less accountability they take the less
accountability they take the less they
change the less they change the more
they repeat the pattern if you play a
video game and you blame your teammates
and you say oh my God all my teammates
suck you will literally stay stuck at
that MMR because you're not actually
improving at life and anger disables our
ability to improve so take a step back
don't let anger absolve you of
accountability do you have a a right to
be angry absolutely did your partner do
something wrong 100% but if you assume
that they did everything wrong and you
did everything right there is a 0%
chance of improvement for you so you
need to take more accountability and it
will be easier to do that once you
decompress Ang anger we have a lot of
other videos on the channel we have
different kinds of meditation techniques
and stuff like that through Dr K's guide
where we talk about anger and meditation
there's all kinds of stuff you can do to
decompress your anger but recognize that
as long as you're seeing black and white
and it's 100% the other person's fault
your life will never improve unless you
get lucky Now we move on to the third
thing which is that we need to stop
transforming and start accepting so if
you look at the way that men deal with
problems we all have this dream to
transform into a different Man For Whom
the problems are easier right so if I
get bullied in the classroom I'm going
to Get Swole and then I can beat them up
so I need to change into someone else to
make this work better if I feel ashamed
of myself because I'm not making enough
money I need to transform right this is
like Voltron or whatever where it's like
Power Rangers or whatever transform
Pokémon crap you want to pick anime
whatever it's why we all love that stuff
right it's all these different
Transformations from Bruce Wayne into
Batman all speak to the subconscious
dream of the man which is that I can
magically turn into whatever the world
needs for me in my day life I am a mild
mannered Clark Kent but when the world
needs me I will transform into the
Superman and all these superheroes have
alter egos that are like completely
normal people this is what we all want
and the world wants this of us too and
this absolutely Ely needs to stop
because when someone creates a problem
for you if you have to transform in
order to fix that problem who is it that
controls what you become you lose all
control over your life because once this
problem arises I need to turn into this
and once this problem arises I need to
turn into this and once this problem
arises oh now my girlfriend is unhappy
that I don't make enough money now I
need to work extra shift oh this person
I feel this person makes fun of me when
I go to the beach this means that I
can't go to the beach anymore until I
work out and I get a six-pack which
means that you're denying yourself the
beach for the rest of your life right
cuz you don't have a six-pack yet you
think you're just going to get one now
because this person made fun of you
doesn't work like that so one of the
craziest things this is such a hard
skill to learn from men is stop trying
to transform and start accepting now
this may seem very very contrary to what
you want to do because the whole point
is that oh but I I want to have a
six-pack doctor okay like okay fine I
get that but as long as you letting
other people dictate the person that you
want to become you will never find the
sustained motivation to actually do it
unless you have a a ton of resentment in
which case you can sometimes do it but
generally speaking it's not very good
instead what we really want to do is
learn to accept right this person is an
so be it am I going to let this
person dictate my life am I going to
stop going to the beach this person is
just going to make fun of me that's
going to happen sometimes it do be like
that sometimes right so the moment that
you accept and that's why that phrase is
so powerful now these external
circumstances stop controlling you and
even though you may not be able to
transform and I know it it feels really
bad because we want to become all those
beautiful things right we want to be
Superman we want to be Batman we want to
be Voltron we want all that crap but in
wanting to be all that crap how much
have you actually moved forward because
the stupid thing is that the
neuroscience and psychology of it is
that wanting to be something else out of
a dream does not create sustained
motivation it is strength it is
confidence it is groundedness these are
the things that lead to positive change
over time it is discipline and that
starts with not letting other people
dictate your actions so be it if this
person wants to bully me so be it I'm
still going to go to the gym and I'm
going to work on myself when you start
taking control of your life instead of
letting your life take control of you
that is what will actually get you to
the gym right I'm going to go to the
beach I'm not going to let this person
control now I'm in control and when I'm
in control I'm I say I'm going to go to
the gym which means I'm going to go to
the gym so if you look at it from a
evidence-based perspective we know that
there's a new kind of therapy called
acceptance and commitment therapy and
acceptance and commitment therapy is all
based around the idea that we can't
change the world outside of us all we
can do is accept it and this is a
evidence-based therapy that helps people
do things like overcome addictions
because when you accept right and we see
this in in Alcoholics Anonymous hi my
name is all and I'm an alcoholic there
is an immense psychological and
Neuroscience ific value to accepting
instead of transforming and the
beautiful thing is when we give up
transformation at least in the short
term we stop letting our circumstances
dictate who we become so I know it
sounds crazy men are getting screwed and
as usual we are responsible because
ain't no one going to help us with this
crap so we are going to come together
and we are going to help each other
right you're not in this alone I'm here
the HG Community is here there's a lot
of other people who are here to help you
thankfully there are also a lot of women
out there who are there to help us we
have those women in our community and at
the same time there are a couple of
things that we are never taught how to
do we end up compartmentalizing
relationships we don't know how to form
connections we end up channeling anger
instead of accountability which keeps us
stuck in the same cycle over and
over and over again and we all have
these dreams to transform into the
perfect man and those dreams are
triggered by our circumstances and when
we fall Vic victim to them we open
ourselves up to other people dictating
who we become we lose control over our
lives so start accepting start taking
accountability and start talking to
other men
[Music]
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