Japanese lady reacts to tips to attracting a Japanese woman - Dating beyond borders
Summary
TLDRThis video offers insights on how foreign men can attract Japanese women, discussing cultural differences and social expectations. The hosts, Marina and Yui, highlight key points like politeness, personal space, and the importance of planning dates. They mention that Japanese women may not always express direct interest, and group dates are common early on. The video also touches on the concept of 'kokuhaku' (confession) for establishing relationships. While traditional gender roles are discussed, the hosts acknowledge that dating dynamics in Japan are evolving, especially among younger generations.
Takeaways
- 👩🏫 Japanese women often do not directly reject advances; they prefer to be polite and may not show direct interest.
- 🇯🇵 Foreign men are seen as exotic and may have an advantage when approaching Japanese women, but understanding cultural nuances is essential.
- 🤔 Guesswork is necessary when gauging a Japanese woman's interest, as they may not explicitly show it.
- 🌸 Japanese culture values politeness and subtlety in social interactions, making direct approaches seem aggressive.
- 💪 Opinions vary on the type of women Japanese men prefer, with some appreciating strong, assertive women.
- 🎩 Being a gentleman, such as opening doors or helping with coats, is appreciated in Japan.
- 🚶♀️ Personal space is important in Japan, with a preference for longer distances compared to Western cultures.
- 👥 Group dates are common initially, allowing women to feel more comfortable and get their friends' opinions.
- 🗺️ Japanese women appreciate men who plan and organize dates, showing thoughtfulness and care.
- 🗣️ Clear communication and defining the relationship status (kokuhaku) is important for understanding where each person stands.
Q & A
What is one advantage foreigners have when trying to attract a Japanese woman, according to the video?
-Foreigners may seem exotic to Japanese women, which can be an advantage in attracting them.
Why do Japanese women rarely reject men outright during an approach?
-Japanese women tend to be polite and avoid direct rejection, even if they are not interested, which can make it difficult for men to gauge their interest.
How do Japanese women typically respond to flirting or an approach?
-They may respond politely, have some chit-chat, but often without genuine interest unless they ask for a phone number or show clear signs of engagement.
What is the cultural difference between Japanese and Western women when it comes to showing interest?
-Western women may make it clearer whether they are interested or not, whereas Japanese women may not show clear signs, leaving more guesswork.
What type of women do Japanese men typically prefer, according to one of the speakers?
-Japanese men are often said to prefer feminine, kind, and quieter women rather than strong or aggressive women.
What is the Japanese cultural perspective on personal space and physical contact?
-Japanese people typically maintain a larger personal distance compared to Westerners, and close physical contact too soon can make them uncomfortable.
How are group dates perceived in Japan?
-Group dates are normal in Japan, especially for early dates, as it allows women to bring friends for advice and feel more comfortable while getting to know someone.
What is expected of men when planning a date with a Japanese woman?
-Japanese women generally appreciate when a man takes the lead in planning the date, organizing it smoothly, and showing thoughtfulness by making decisions such as where to go and what to eat.
How important is guessing a woman's preferences in Japanese dating culture?
-It is common for Japanese women to expect men to guess their preferences, rather than asking directly every time where they want to go or what they want to eat.
What is 'kokuhaku' in Japanese dating culture?
-'Kokuhaku' is a formal confession of feelings, where a person asks if the other wants to be in a serious relationship, establishing the status of boyfriend and girlfriend.
Outlines
👋 Introduction to Dating Advice for Attracting Japanese Women
Mrs. Eats introduces the video, where Marina and Yui discuss tips for attracting Japanese women, with a focus on cultural differences. The video is aimed at foreigners who may not be familiar with Japanese dating customs. They humorously acknowledge that while foreigners might seem exotic, there’s no magic trick to impress Japanese women, and it requires understanding their cultural behavior.
💬 Approaching Japanese Women: Guesswork and Politeness
Marina and Yui explain that Japanese women rarely say 'no' directly due to politeness, even if they're not interested. This makes it hard to tell if a woman is attracted to you, unlike Western women who are often more direct. They joke about the confusion men face when trying to interpret a woman’s polite response. It's also noted that Japanese men prefer feminine and quiet women, though Yui disagrees, stating some men enjoy stronger, more assertive women.
🤝 The Importance of Social Intelligence and Personal Space
The conversation shifts to the cultural importance of social intelligence in Japan. Approaching a woman too aggressively can be off-putting, and there’s a significant difference in personal space expectations. Japanese people tend to maintain a greater distance than Westerners, which can make physical closeness uncomfortable. They emphasize the importance of being considerate and respectful of these boundaries.
🎎 Group Dates and Leadership in Japanese Dating
Yui and Marina talk about the norm of group dates in Japan, where a woman might invite friends to get to know you better. This doesn’t mean she’s uninterested, but that she needs more time. Japanese women often expect men to take the lead in planning dates, showing appreciation for thoughtful preparation. However, they also want men to anticipate their needs without asking directly, such as offering a jacket if she's cold.
💡 Kokuhaku: Confession and Relationship Dynamics
The concept of 'kokuhaku' or confession is discussed, where a formal declaration is made to confirm a relationship. Without this, a woman might not know if she’s your girlfriend. They joke about needing to ask the father’s permission for serious relationships, but ultimately, the video stresses the importance of being clear about your intentions with a Japanese woman.
📅 Modern Japanese Dating and Evolving Expectations
Marina reflects on how some of the dating advice in the video feels outdated. Based on her experience with college students, she believes that Japanese women today are more forward, and men are more open to women taking the lead in dating. The video closes with a hopeful tone, inviting viewers to continue learning about cultural nuances in dating.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Approach
💡Politeness
💡Personal Space
💡Group Dates
💡Leadership
💡Indirect Communication
💡Kokuhaku
💡Gentlemanly Behavior
💡Exoticism
💡Cultural Expectations
Highlights
Japanese women typically don't say no when approached, which can lead to confusion in gauging interest.
Foreigners may have an advantage as they are considered exotic, but cultural understanding is still key.
Japanese women often remain polite even if they have no interest, making it hard to tell their true feelings.
Guessing whether a woman is interested becomes a challenge due to politeness, unlike in Western cultures where rejections are more direct.
Japanese men traditionally prefer quiet, feminine women, but modern Japanese women can be more assertive.
Personal space is very important in Japan, and Japanese women tend to keep a greater distance, especially early in relationships.
Small gestures of politeness, like opening doors or pulling out chairs, are highly appreciated by Japanese women.
Physical contact and closeness early on is not common and may make Japanese women uncomfortable.
Group dates are more common for initial meetings to ease into getting to know someone.
Japanese women tend to prefer men who take the lead in planning dates and making decisions.
There is an emphasis on the man showing effort by planning activities that show thoughtfulness toward the woman.
Japanese women might not openly express discomfort, even if they feel cold, but expect men to notice and offer help.
The 'kokuhaku' (confession) is a traditional way to formalize relationships in Japan, where men declare their feelings.
Although the video contains some traditional views, modern Japanese women are increasingly more assertive and independent.
Cultural norms are evolving in Japan, with younger generations showing more openness toward non-traditional dating dynamics.
Transcripts
hi i'm mrs eats today we're gonna be
watching
tips to attract a japanese woman
okay let's go three two one hi guys i'm
marina and this is yui
and she's japanese and today we're gonna
be talking about we don't do this
japanese woman
[Music]
if you're watching this video chances
are you're a foreigner
because japanese guys probably know how
to talk to japanese women or at least no
japanese maybe not i don't think so but
if you are a foreigner you definitely
have an advantage
since you are exotic but before i build
up your ego and make you think you're
invincible
please watch this video so you can
understand how japanese women work
there's no magic strategies that you can
do
however if you show if you see these
videos
and if you do some of the things that
they will very appreciate you
so first one approach so really great
news
flirting and approach women will never
reject you
we cannot say no that sounds really
weird
we don't we hardly say no
i think when approaching a western woman
yeah clear impression of whether
she's interested in you or not hey how
are you i have a boyfriend
i'd love to see this i'd love to say
this one day
you cannot tell if she's interested in
or not
yeah she's right you have to kind of
guess hey there
i see you here a lot i just want to say
you look
awesome today
yeah it's like this for japanese women
even though she's not interested in you
at all they're just trying to be polite
so they people say oh hi
where are you from oh it's good and they
want to stop maybe
have some chit chat but a lot of times
they have zero interest in you if they
don't ask you
phone number or if they don't reply to
you zero percent
so there's a lot of guesswork and a lot
of guesswork it's like a kissing
game welcome to what is she thinking and
funny is our first contestant are you
nervous buddy are you nervous
well you shouldn't be the answers are
all wrong
so the japanese girls will never
approach to the guys the guys in japan
they don't really like strong women um
they really like
um feminine and kind and quiet
i have to disagree with her opinion
because i've seen a lot of girls who are
more afford to approach
guys and there are a lot of men who
enjoys like
like a powerful or energetic woman
so i don't really agree with this idea
opinion so we tried to be like that i
think social intelligence plays a huge
part in japan right so
just approaching a woman straight away
without any consideration may be seen as
a little bit
aggressive i think it's too aggressive
too aggressive
after sex if he approaches you like hey
oh listen
hey
oh that's too close yes it's too close
great bar huh reminds me of one back in
new york
oh you speak english
i am an english teacher
oh it's a boy at the end of the day i
think it's very simple and that's
being a gentleman goes a long way in
japan yeah it's
very like simple but yeah yes yes open
the door
for the girl and maybe put the jacket
off from the girl and maybe put the
chair
in and out
[Laughter]
yeah yeah small gesture that sounds sad
but it's true
body contact
i think we it's a huge problem
culture we can take time to get closer
and
know each other yeah yeah
so especially for japanese people the
comfortable personal
distances longer than americans like
american people usually like
one arm length is comfortable but for
japanese people i would say
one m and a half but if we get too close
we get really uncomfortable like oh okay
oh okay personal distance is very very
different especially japanese people has
that i would say
longest personal distance especially
defense sex
i could feel his breath
and then oh my gosh she's wearing such a
even appropriate
gloves she's showing off my shoulders oh
no i'm kidding but uh
you don't really see a japanese woman
wearing this
this gloves this clothes means i'm
ready to hook up a guy
a little bit more
um that's a little too much
but perfect yeah that's a little bit
different
if you say like hey how are you oh no no
no
no no no no no no no no don't dust don't
don't say
no don't touch me but we will say like
that's too close the date so just
because of everything that we've
mentioned
before keep in mind that japanese people
like their privacy and their personal
space and that means she probably might
be a little bit uncomfortable with you
as a one-on-one date straight off the
bat so if she invites you
to a group date that's something normal
that doesn't mean very normal
just means she needs a little bit more
time getting to know you yeah and also
probably the japanese girl wanted to
bring her friends and ask her friend
what do you think about him do you think
i should do him so it's like a
very casual date but don't be don't be
scared
and uh yeah so group late it's going to
be the first one
maybe second third it will be like movie
yeah
101 on a first date is very very
rare i think um japanese women want you
to lead
yes what does that mean we
like the guys have a leadership
but not leadership
leadership he planned the date
organized and we can kind of smoothly
follow along
i think japanese women appreciate the
time that the guy
spent for her you know planning the date
where do you go what to eat what to
bring we
i think we appreciate that thought even
though you know they didn't go
do to go well but we really appreciate
the time that spent for me
the time yeah the time spent for them
yeah
what do you want to eat burgers
chinese sushi no
no no sushi
tacos what do you want
yeah that's really cool okay
okay awesome
[Music]
yeah are you sure you're not cold
your ears are kind of thing
okay you're okay yeah the japanese woman
yeah like this japanese would say even
though they're freezing they'll say i'm
okay i'm okay
that's your boo i'm okay but in her mind
why can't this guy bring a scarf or a
jacket for me
or buy me some hot drink or something
that's true that's so true
hmm you know what just it's so hard
hard to date a japanese woman
another guest in culture that you
probably have to what she likes
but not asking her where do you want to
go
what do you want to eat every single
time
because we want you to guess you don't
know the girl you don't know what she
likes but you have to guess
yeah but it's not always but a lot of
times
i think a girl japanese girl would
appreciate
the time that guy spent for her
relationship chances are you're going to
have to make a sort of confession
what is the name of the confession so
kokuhaku
so you have a kohaku yeah and you talk
it over and decide if your boyfriend and
girlfriend
because if you don't chances are she's
not going to know where you stand
so you guys are she's my girlfriend
[Laughter]
for a coffee it would be maybe you have
to probably
ask if you want a serious relationship
you have to go to the dad
yes and to say can i please date your
daughter with the end goal of marrying
her
no no no no you're getting a japanese
girl no please
take it seriously i don't think so i
don't think so now
i don't think that's true
[Music]
did i hear you wanted some hot tea and
jacket
[Music]
oh interesting video i think a lot of
information here
are kind of true but i still feel like
it's a little bit
old all the information about a japanese
woman
because i have worked with college kids
and i've seen
how college kids you know start talking
to each other and start dating i've seen
them but
i think women are more up for these days
and then
men don't really mind if a woman is like
a
you know a woman approach to him or
you know suggest where to go where to
get maybe leading the date i don't think
a men
really care about it now that was a very
interesting video i hope
you enjoyed watching it with me alright
then i'll see you next time okini
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