"Why Does ADHD Make Me Feel Drained?"
Summary
TLDRThis script explores the challenges faced by a 30-year-old male with ADHD, including feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion despite high functioning. It delves into the extra effort required by ADHD individuals, the impact of untreated ADHD leading to depression, and the chronic stress that depletes energy. The speaker suggests strategies like therapy, medication, and organizational skills to manage ADHD and improve self-confidence.
Takeaways
- 🔄 **ADHD Effort**: People with ADHD expend more effort to complete tasks compared to neurotypical individuals, leading to increased fatigue.
- 🌟 **Compensatory Mechanisms**: Smart kids with ADHD often develop strategies to mask their condition, which can delay diagnosis and treatment.
- 📈 **Life Catch-up**: ADHD individuals may experience fatigue as they play 'catch-up' in life, adjusting to increased responsibilities.
- 🤯 **Chronic Stress**: Constant stress can deplete energy, as the body's cortisol response is designed for short-term bursts of productivity, not sustained output.
- 🧠 **Internalized Beliefs**: Many with ADHD internalize a belief of inadequacy due to early life experiences and societal feedback, affecting self-perception and effort.
- 📚 **Educational Challenges**: Despite being smart, ADHD can make school more challenging, leading to a sense of always falling short.
- 🏥 **Health Checks**: Regular health checks can rule out physical causes for fatigue and ensure that any treatment is well-targeted.
- 🛠️ **Organizational Skills**: Learning organizational techniques can help manage ADHD symptoms and reduce the cognitive load.
- 🧘 **Mindfulness and Meditation**: Practices like meditation can improve focus and executive function, beneficial for ADHD management.
- 💊 **Medication Consideration**: Medication can be a valid option to manage ADHD symptoms, but should be considered alongside other strategies.
- 🌱 **Self-compassion**: Developing self-compassion and confidence is crucial for overcoming the internalized belief of 'not being enough'.
Q & A
What is the main concern expressed by the 30-year-old male in the script?
-The main concern is that despite trying his best, he feels like he is accomplishing only 10% of what others do and is constantly fatigued, questioning if there is something wrong with him or if he is doing something incorrectly.
What is the individual's history with ADHD?
-He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10, struggled with depression and anxiety throughout his life, and underwent therapy and re-diagnosis.
What are some of the daily activities the individual engages in to maintain his well-being?
-He goes for long walks, maintains an active cycle, and is surrounded by people every day. He also has a good relationship and no financial stress.
How does the individual perceive his social interactions compared to others?
-He feels drained after 3 hours of interaction and prefers to be alone with his girlfriend at the end of the day, unlike others who seem to have more energy left for socializing.
What is the significance of the individual being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 26?
-It indicates that he may have developed compensatory mechanisms during his childhood, allowing him to function without noticeable impairments but leading to fatigue and stress later in life.
Why does the individual feel like he is not doing enough despite his efforts?
-He compares himself to others and feels inadequate because of the belief that he is not enough, which stems from his childhood experiences with ADHD.
How does stress affect the individual's energy levels?
-Stress leads to a chronic state of cortisol production, which results in short-term productivity but long-term exhaustion, as the body cannibalizes muscle tissue for energy.
What is the relationship between ADHD and depression as discussed in the script?
-People with ADHD are more likely to develop depression later in life, often due to the belief that they are not enough because of their struggles with ADHD.
What are some strategies that can help individuals with ADHD manage their workload and stress?
-Strategies include improving organizational skills, using calendars and to-do lists, assembling all materials before starting work, and seeking psychotherapy to address underlying confidence issues.
What role does medication play in treating ADHD according to the script?
-Medication can improve focus and outcomes for individuals with ADHD, but the effects are temporary and do not address the underlying organizational and confidence issues.
How can individuals with ADHD overcome the feeling of not being enough?
-They can work on their confidence through psychotherapy, learn organizational tools to protect themselves from their ADHD, and adopt strategies to manage their workload effectively.
Outlines
😔 Struggling with ADHD and Life's Demands
The paragraph discusses the feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion experienced by a 30-year-old male diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10. Despite therapy and medication, he still feels like he's accomplishing less compared to others and struggles with depression and anxiety. He's under constant stress due to his studies and feels drained after minimal social interaction. He's aware of the need to manage his time better but is unsure if his struggles are due to ADHD or personal inadequacy.
🧠 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Energy Levels
This section explains the extra effort required by individuals with ADHD to complete tasks, leading to mental exhaustion. It highlights how ADHD can cause people to miss out on necessary adjustments to regular life, resulting in a feeling of constant fatigue. The paragraph also discusses the role of stress and cortisol in depleting energy reserves, making it harder for people with ADHD to recover from daily demands compared to their neurotypical peers.
💔 The Emotional Toll of Growing Up with ADHD
The paragraph delves into the emotional and psychological challenges faced by those with ADHD. It describes how children with ADHD may internalize a sense of inadequacy due to their difficulties in comparison to their peers. This can lead to depression and a persistent belief of being 'not enough,' even when they are functioning well. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of addressing this internalized belief system to improve self-perception and overall well-being.
🛠️ Tools for Managing ADHD and Enhancing Self-Confidence
The final paragraph offers practical advice for individuals with ADHD to improve their organizational skills and confidence. It suggests that psychotherapy can be as effective as medication in managing ADHD symptoms and that learning organizational techniques can help protect against the disorder's challenges. The paragraph also encourages seeking medical advice and considering medication, while emphasizing the importance of building self-confidence to overcome the feeling of inadequacy often associated with ADHD.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡ADHD
💡Depression
💡Anxiety
💡Therapy
💡Stress
💡Cortisol
💡Distractability
💡Compensatory Mechanisms
💡Self-Blame
💡Organizational Skills
💡Psychotherapy
Highlights
Individuals with ADHD may feel like they are accomplishing less compared to others despite their best efforts.
ADHD can lead to a constant feeling of fatigue and low energy levels.
A 30-year-old male with ADHD shares his struggles with depression, anxiety, and stress.
The individual has been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10 and has undergone therapy.
Despite having a regular sleep cycle and being active, the person feels drained after social interactions.
The person wonders if there is research on mental depletion after social interaction.
People with ADHD often take more effort to complete tasks compared to neurotypical individuals.
ADHD can cause a sense of being behind in life, leading to a period of fatigue as one tries to catch up.
Chronic stress can lead to a depletion of energy and productivity.
Cortisol can provide short-term productivity at the cost of long-term exhaustion.
People with ADHD often internalize their struggles and believe they are not enough.
Untreated ADHD in childhood can lead to depression and a belief of personal inadequacy.
Psychotherapy can be as effective as medication in treating ADHD by teaching organizational skills.
Building confidence and addressing emotional blocks can significantly improve the quality of life for those with ADHD.
Medication can provide immediate relief for ADHD symptoms, but the effects may not be long-lasting.
Individuals with ADHD can achieve success by learning to work with their unique challenges.
The importance of understanding and treating the root causes of ADHD-related fatigue and stress.
Transcripts
tldr everybody else seems to be doing so
much more with their life and still have
energy left at the end of the day I'm
trying my best but it feels like 10% of
what others do and yet again I feel like
I could sleep for 6 months straight I
want to do more help more work more
socialize more but I feel like I'm
running on the battery of a small alarm
clock from the early 90s 30-year-old M
male here have been diagnosed with ADHD
when I was 10 um for people forgot about
it life fell apart struggled all my life
with depression and anxiety had therapy
got rediagnosis
nobody here could definitely tell me
what is going on but apparently I still
had the impulse to
share so yes I have a lot of stress with
my studies at the moment I don't
remember the last time I had a proper
break in the sense that I had no oh I
have to do XYZ until XYZ or I'll get in
trouble I've checked everything else I
sleep all right rather active cycle
every day go for long walks have stuff
to do surrounded by people everyday
relationship is going well no Financial
stress or any
anything blood has been checked lately
and everything seems fine
awesome um I might just be stressed but
there are so many people around me that
seem to be doing so much more than I'm
doing I know it's hard to compare
oneself to other people but I just feel
like what I'm doing every day is so much
less
at the end of the day many people even
seem to have time and space left to
socialize hell my battery is drained
after 3 hours of interaction oh
interesting
interesting I
wonder
if there is research around
this huh predict mental depletion after
a 3-hour delay
fascinating after 3 hours of interaction
I would love
to um or have the feeling that I should
take care of connecting with friends
more but honestly I just want to be
alone with my girlfriend at the end of
the day and make some music or go for a
walk what's wrong with me am I doing
something wrong should I be doing more
I'm not doing enough I'm I am not enough
you know the
drill okay so this is a case of a
30-year-old person diagnosed with ADHD
did not get treated started getting
treated 26 now they're doing well it
sounds like they're in a relationship
they're advancing in either with work or
studying they're in a high stress
situation so there isn't a day that goes
by where they don't think about okay I I
got to do this there's a deadline coming
up etc etc and they feel like they have
no energy left and other people around
them seem to be doing the same amount of
work but have energy left at the end of
the day so why is this hey y'all if
you're interested in applying some of
the principles that we share to actually
create change in your life check out Dr
K's guide to mental health it combines
over two decades of my experience of
both being a monk and a psychiatrist and
distills all of the most important
things I've learned into a Choose Your
Own Adventure format so check out the
link in the bio and start your journey
today lot of things going on here so
let's start with this the first is that
if you have
ADHD it takes you more effort to do one
thing than it takes a neurotypical
person until you train yourself
otherwise so if we look at the nature of
distractability I've got to work on a
paper open up a Word document start
typing and then I get distracted oh I
need to find this thing I need to I pull
this thing out I start reading it okay
this paper is over here I don't
understand what this means I'm going to
look at something on Wikipedia once I'm
on Wikipedia on the computer I'm going
to alt Tab and watch some YouTube highly
distractable so if you look at the
amount of time it takes to complete a
task it takes one hour of
work for a neurotypical person and one
hour of work for an ADHD person the
problem is that the person with ADHD
spends 4 hours doing one hour of
work and so what happens is at the end
of those 4
hours you've been like your machine has
been running for 4 hours but you only
have a 1H hour yield to show for it so
if we look at it from an objective
perspective until people with ADHD learn
otherwise and we'll get to
that it literally takes them more effort
to do the same amount of work so this
person is not
wrong but there's way more to the
story the second thing that tends to
happen and I see this a lot with people
with
ADHD is people tend to flounder for a
while and something happens at the age
of 26 very common adult ADHD is an
increasing diagnosis so it gets missed a
lot in childhood why because kids with
ADHD are smart if you a smart kid with
ADHD you develop compensatory
mechanisms so that the ADHD does not
affect your life as
much and so you actually don't get the
help that you should get if you are
failing completely so you're able to
pull off C's instead of straight FS
because even though it takes you 4 hours
to do one hour worth of work you're so
smart that you can take that
hour and you can actually turn it into
two so the ADHD diagnosis gets missed
then what happens is as it gets
diagnosed later in life and people start
putting their lives together they enter
this period And I want to say it's like
two to four years in like really three
four years in where they start to feel a
ton of fatigue and why is that it's
because they're ramping up to a regular
life so I don't know if this kind of
makes sense
but
you know when you first start college it
feels overwhelming and then you ramp up
to it right suddenly like you're not
forced to go to class so you have to
learn time management you have to like
you only go to class three days a week
or whatever you have there's a lot more
like optional stuff so there's like this
adjustment
period when I started med school there
was one hell of an adjustment I just
finished college and then suddenly you
are learning five times as much
information per week and there's one
hell of adust m in your first year of
med school and then they ramp it up in
your second year and now you're learning
10 times as much as you did in college
and then they ramp it up more in third
year because now in third year you're
working in the hospital you don't have
time to read all day but you're expected
to know all of this stuff and that's an
adjustment so life is a series of
adjustments and what happens with people
with ADHD is since they're so behind in
life as they start to catch up and they
become somewhere on the level of normal
human beings if you compare yourself to
your peers like they've gone through
that adjustment phase and you're still
adapting so it can feel like it's really
really really hard for you to like
survive even though you're surviving it
feels very exhausting that will get
better and I see this really with people
with ADHD like in year three or four of
college where now they're like they're
like playing in the big leagues with
everybody else and that's just tiring in
and of itself the third thing that's
going on here is stress so if you sort
of think about your third or fourth
years those are objectively harder than
your first or second years in a lot of
ways right advanced
classes more intensive
material you're writing thesis things
like that there's like other like like
kind of advanced stuff generally
speaking it can be easier for a lot of
people because you enjoy it more
hopefully but the workload is
objectively higher and so when you're in
this position of I think this person
puts it this way I have a lot of stress
with my studies at the moment yes I
don't remember the last time I had a
proper break in the sense that I had a
oh I have to do XYZ until X until XY Z
I'll get in trouble so what I'm hearing
from this person is this person has
constant deadlines and hasn't been able
to take a break so how does that affect
people it affects them through the
cortisol system so what cortisol does is
buys me 24 hours of high productivity
for a week of exhaustion afterward
that's literally what
happens so what what cortisol does is
increases cannibalizes our things like
muscle tissue to give us energy over the
uh 24-hour period so what we're doing is
we're chopping down a wall to get
firewood to survive for the next 24
hours so when you're in a chronic state
of stress because normally what happens
is human beings would recover right if
I'm like hunting in the jungle and I get
attacked by a pack of hyenas I fend off
the hyenas I run away my tribe comes to
save me we move a little bit and then
it's not like there's another pack of
hyenas there the next day then I like
rest I relax I catch up on my sleep I
recover but in modern society we don't
get those times we have chronic
stress so every day I don't my my body
has the system that activates that helps
me get through the next 24 hours but
then I don't rest for a week
afterward and so over time that depletes
your ability to do work so why are you
more fatigued than your colleagues
because
literally you're your body has been
chopping down walls to for firewood and
then you're wondering why am I getting
more cold because your walls are gone so
this is the next thing that's going on
the last thing that goes on with ADHD
why people people feel so
exhausted is
this what is wrong with me am I doing
something wrong should I be doing more I
am not doing enough I am not enough this
is the other problem so why is it that
someone with ADHD cannot realize that
this is not me why do they assume that
the problem is within me instead of yeah
I'm in advanced courses I'm working
really hard I actually object L have a
lot on my
plate why don't they think that
way so if you look at a population of
people who have ADHD in
depression what you discover is that 70%
of the people who have ADHD first will
develop depression later in
life 3% of the people who have
depression first will develop ADHD later
in life ADHD has a positive effect for
depression why is
that when a child grows up with ADHD
something very important happens they
realize that I'm just as smart as my
friends they realize that I'm no
stupider than anyone else but they also
see when they're in the first grade the
second grade they're 6 years old seven
years old they start to realize that I'm
not able to do what they're able to do
it's way harder for me to pay attention
I forget my homework I forgot I had a
test I'm just as smart as they are but I
can't remember having a test when I sit
down to study just like they do I'm just
as smart as they are but I can't
actually read the words on the page they
don't even realize that right they just
have the textbook open in front of their
mind is all over the place they just
realize I can't do this and no one ever
explains to them that this is like a
problem because you have ADHD your
attention is different from other kids
you're there's nothing wrong what what
what is is wrong with you what's
different is your attention so what does
a six-year-old
conclude in the absence of a diagnosis a
compassionate diagnosis and some amount
of explanation there is something wrong
with me fundamentally something's busted
because I'm just as smart as they
are but when I put in four hours I get a
b and when they put in one hour they get
an A there's something fundamentally
wrong with
me this belief starts at the age of 5 6
7 remember that often times kids by the
the by the age of seven or so with ADHD
many of them will not get invited to a
single birthday party and why is that
it's because they don't wait their turn
on the playground because they're
distractable and
impulsive so they don't get invited to
places and then there's social
isolation and then we're also proud of
kids for what for doing well in school
so we're not proud of those kids in fact
what happens is those kids like myself
get taken to teacher conferences and the
teacher would say you know
what Alo is so smart he just needs to
apply
himself if he just tried harder then he
could do so much
more and so what does the kid feel
walking out of that school conference it
means that there's not something wrong
with me it's just a lack of my effort
I'm just like I'm not
my IQ ain't low but I'm just
stupid for not applying
myself they don't understand that I'm
actually applying myself as hard as I
can and so the feedback that these
children
get essentially results in this look at
this statement this is
damning I am not
enough I am not enough and when you
carry this within you then it shapes how
you look at everything else you don't
consider the stress objectively because
in the back of your mind you're not
enough so it's not the stress or the
external circumstances even though this
person intellectually knows that it's
the circumstances you guys see
this like
look intellectually in their post they
say I have a lot of stress I don't
remember the last time I had a proper
break even though they know that they're
unable to connect those dots one part of
their mind is connecting those dots hey
the reason you're tired all the
time is because you haven't had a
break they even went and got blood
tested maybe something's wrong with you
okay nothing's wrong with me let me just
check there's a part of your brain that
knows there's nothing wrong with you the
problem is that for 26 years of your
life you've learned that there's
something wrong with
you and those two things
clash and that's why people with with
ADHD continue to blame themselves even
though they're doing a good
job so if you are in this
pickle couple of things that you can do
the first thing that you can
do is understand how to be better at
working so if you look at
Psychotherapy for ADHD versus medication
treatment for ADHD both of them improve
ADHD the same amount I can someone to
send someone to a psych therapist or
give them Aderall or a stimulant and I
can improve their focus by the same
amount I can improve their outcomes by
the same
amount the difference is that if the
medication stops the effect goes away if
we stop Psychotherapy the effect lasts
for 2
years after stopping
Psychotherapy why so what
psychotherapist will do is teach people
with ADHD how to function in this world
despite having distractable attention it
means things like get really good with
your
calendar make a to-do
list so one tip that I'll give people is
that if you're working on a project find
all of your materials first and assemble
them don't go and look for materials in
the middle of your work so if you've got
some stuff on Google Drive or
Dropbox open it all up and set it to the
side or print those papers out and keep
them there because if you open up a new
tab and start hunting for stuff on the
internet when you are trying to H write
a paper and you have ADHD you're screwed
all of your work materials need to be
organized calendar alarms all kinds of
stuff you can set up a system that will
essentially protect you from your
ADHD we dive into this super super deep
with Dr K's guide to 8 PhD and doing
stuff it's a guide about what is the
science of doing stuff what are the
techniques that you need to understand
that will help you do stuff and this is
everything from like understanding
emotional blocks to organizational
systems so you can get some of that from
therapy you can get some of it from the
guide second thing that you need to work
on with ADHD is your sense of confidence
or the person that you believe that you
are essentially the untreated
of ADHD of growing up with ADHD that's
undertreated CU then you will form
conclusions about yourself that will
sabotage your efforts to do better in
life this is something that a
psychotherapist will help you with and
when I when I work with a a patient with
ADHD what I basically do I have a onew
punch so I'm going to help with all
these organizational skills and I'm
going to work on their confidence so I'm
going to treat this patient as if they
have
depression
and if I can get them to believe in
themselves again it'll change the way
that they look at the
world so this is like the key thing to
do right so you need to learn the
organizational tools that will protect
you from your
ADHD meditation is also great you can
train your executive function and stuff
like that that's what we cover in the
guide and absolutely go see a therapist
third four things you can do you can
absolutely like you know go get your
hormones checked go see a medical doctor
start medication if that's what you want
to do
but the beautiful thing is I worked with
a ton of people who have adh2 who are
very successful and did not start out
that way there is absolutely a
methodology to this in this case is
textbook and if you're
someone who struggles with this where
even though you're doing better in life
it feels so
exhausting and other people seem to be
playing life on easy mode and you're
playing life on hard mode you can still
down the bosses and beat the level but
it costs you so much much
more and you carry around this idea that
like I'm not enough in some way this
needs to be fixed both of them can
absolutely be fixed with some simple
organizational skills and like workflow
kind of stuff you can learn how to study
with a distractable
mind and work on your
confidence that's what will ultimately
help you realize like okay I can do just
as well as someone who's typical in this
world I just need to play the hand that
I'm dealt instead of copycatting
neurotypical kids that's where ADHD kids
get
screwed
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