10 life lessons (for a healthy mind + body) ✨

Summary

In this video, the speaker shares life lessons and mindset shifts that have positively impacted their life. Key themes include adopting a growth mindset over a fixed one, recognizing the 'spotlight effect' to alleviate social anxiety, focusing on dietary balance rather than strict restrictions, embracing change as a sign of personal evolution, and the importance of patience with oneself. The speaker also discusses the value of setting actionable goals, the wisdom in realizing that conflicting desires often unfold in stages, and the need for consistency in habits for lasting change. They suggest reframing fear as excitement and speaking to oneself kindly, using the third person to soften self-criticism. The video is sponsored by Headspace, a mindfulness app that has helped the speaker incorporate these lessons into their life.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Mindset Matters: Embrace a growth mindset by saying 'I can't do it yet' instead of 'I can't do it' to foster continuous improvement.
• 🔍 Spotlight Effect: Recognize that the spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where one feels like they are the center of attention, but most people are focused on their own lives.
• 🍽️ Food Inclusion: Shift your focus from excluding 'bad' foods to including more 'good' foods to create a healthier and more balanced diet.
• 🌱 Embracing Change: Understand that change is a natural part of growth and should be welcomed, not feared, as it reflects your evolving journey.
• 🚶‍♀️ Patience with Progress: Practice patience with yourself as you move towards your goals, knowing that personal growth is a journey, not a destination.
• 🪥 Attention to Detail: Apply the same level of care and attention to all tasks, as small habits can reflect your overall approach to life.
• 🧘‍♂️ Mindfulness and Slowing Down: Utilize mindfulness practices to slow down and reduce feelings of restlessness, leading to a more balanced and present life.
• 🎯 Focus on Actions, Not Outcomes: Set goals based on actions you can control rather than outcomes you can't, to reduce discouragement and increase personal agency.
• 💭 Managing Desires: Accept that conflicting desires are normal and that achieving goals often unfolds in stages, not all at once.
• 🔁 Long-Term Consistency: Evaluate dietary changes and habits with the long-term in mind, asking if they are sustainable for years, not just weeks.
• 🏃‍♀️ Excitement Over Fear: Reframe fear as excitement to approach challenges with a positive mindset and reduce anxiety.
• 🗣️ Self-Compassion: Practice speaking to yourself with kindness, using the third person to reduce self-criticism and promote a supportive inner dialogue.

Q & A

What is the significance of the story about the Taekwondo lessons in the script?

The story about the Taekwondo lessons illustrates the importance of a growth mindset over a fixed mindset. It shows that with perseverance and the belief that abilities can be developed, success is achievable, as exemplified by the boy eventually earning his black belt.

How does the script suggest changing the way we react to our limitations?

The script suggests changing the phrase 'I can't do it' to 'I can't do it yet,' which fosters a growth mindset and implies that with time and effort, one can overcome current limitations.

What is the spotlight effect mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to social anxiety?

The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where individuals believe they are the center of attention, often leading to self-consciousness and anxiety in social situations. The script suggests that this anxiety is often unfounded, as most people are preoccupied with their own concerns.

How does the script propose changing our approach to dietary habits?

The script suggests shifting the focus from exclusion to inclusion in dietary habits. Instead of eliminating foods, it encourages adding healthier options like fruits and vegetables, promoting a balanced and sustainable approach to eating.

What is the main message about change and personal growth conveyed in the script?

The script conveys that change is a natural and positive part of personal growth. It encourages embracing change and being patient with oneself, as personal evolution is a journey that unfolds over time.

How does the script relate the way one brushes their teeth to their overall approach to life?

The script uses the metaphor of brushing teeth to illustrate that if one is restless and rushed in small tasks, this impatience can spill over into other areas of life. It suggests that learning to slow down in routine activities can help cultivate patience and mindfulness in all aspects of life.

What role does the mindfulness app Headspace play in the script?

Headspace is presented as a tool that has helped the speaker slow down, let go of things they can't control, and embrace the present moment. It offers various features like mindfulness walks and meditations designed to enhance mental well-being.

How does the script advise on setting goals to avoid discouragement?

The script advises focusing on actions that are controllable rather than outcomes that are not fully within one's control. By setting goals based on inputs and actions, one can maintain motivation and a sense of achievement.

What is the advice given in the script for handling conflicting desires?

The script suggests that it's natural to have conflicting desires and that it's important to recognize that we can't have everything we want all at once. It encourages appreciating the unfolding of dreams and goals in stages.

How does the script recommend evaluating the sustainability of a new diet or lifestyle change?

The script recommends asking oneself if they can see themselves maintaining the new diet or lifestyle for the next 5 years. If the answer is no, it suggests looking for a more balanced and sustainable approach.

What mindset shift is proposed in the script to transform fear into a positive force?

The script proposes relabeling fear as excitement, which can transform the paralyzing effects of fear and anxiety into an openness to try new things and embrace new experiences.

How does the script suggest talking to oneself in a kinder way?

The script suggests using the third person when talking to oneself to soften self-criticism. This shift can help in reducing the intensity of self-judgment and foster a more supportive internal dialogue.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 Embracing a Growth Mindset and Overcoming Challenges

The speaker begins by emphasizing the power of inspirational thoughts in shaping one's life. They share personal life lessons and mindset shifts that have been influential. The video is sponsored by Headspace, a meditation app the speaker highly recommends. A story is told about the speaker's partner, Robin, who learned Taekwondo as a child. Despite initial struggles, his teacher's response 'I can't do it yet' instilled a growth mindset, teaching him that skills can be developed over time. This mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, where one believes talents are innate. The speaker encourages viewers to adopt a growth mindset, suggesting that with time and effort, anything is possible. They also discuss the 'spotlight effect,' a psychological phenomenon where one feels as though they are the center of attention, often leading to self-consciousness. The speaker suggests that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to judge others, liberating oneself from the anxiety of social situations.

05:01

🍽️ Shifting Perspectives on Food and Life Goals

The speaker discusses the common temptation to restrict certain foods when aiming for a healthier diet, but cautions that this can negatively impact one's relationship with food. Instead, they advocate for a balanced approach, focusing on inclusion rather than exclusion. For example, instead of发誓 to stop eating donuts, one should aim to eat more fruits and vegetables. The speaker also reflects on their own experiences with change, such as changing majors in university and later career paths, expressing initial fears of 'wasting' time and effort. They conclude that change should be embraced as a sign of personal growth and evolution. The speaker also shares a personal anecdote about brushing teeth, highlighting how one's approach to small tasks can reflect their overall approach to life. They encourage viewers to slow down and practice mindfulness, crediting Headspace for helping them achieve this. Headspace offers various features like mindfulness walks and sleep meditations, and the speaker shares an exclusive discount for the audience.

10:02

🌱 Cultivating Mindfulness and Positive Self-Talk

The speaker continues by discussing the importance of setting achievable goals that focus on controllable actions rather than uncertain outcomes. They provide examples of shifting from outcome-based goals to process-based goals, which can lead to a sense of control and accomplishment. The speaker also touches on the idea of conflicting desires and the realization that we cannot have everything we want all at once, but rather our dreams and goals unfold in stages. They share a client's experience from their time as a dietitian, emphasizing the importance of sustainable dietary changes over quick fixes. The speaker suggests asking oneself if a dietary change is something they can maintain for the long term. They also discuss the physical similarities between fear and excitement, suggesting that fear can be reframed as excitement for what could happen next. Lastly, the speaker encourages positive self-talk, recommending the use of the third person when speaking to oneself to soften self-criticism. They invite viewers to share their own life lessons and look forward to reading the comments.

Keywords

💡Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that skills and talents can be developed through dedication and hard work. In the video, the speaker shares a story about a young boy learning Taekwondo, who was taught to say 'I can't do it yet' instead of 'I can't do it,' which instilled a growth mindset in him. This mindset is crucial as it encourages continuous learning and improvement, making success more attainable over time.

💡Spotlight Effect

The spotlight effect refers to the psychological phenomenon where individuals believe they are being noticed and judged more than they actually are. The video discusses this concept, explaining that people often feel self-conscious in social situations, thinking others are paying more attention to them than they truly are. This realization can be liberating, allowing individuals to be more comfortable in their own skin.

💡Balanced Diet

A balanced diet is one that includes a variety of foods in moderation, providing the necessary nutrients for a healthy lifestyle. The video suggests shifting focus from exclusionary diets to inclusive ones, emphasizing the importance of balance over strict elimination of certain foods. This approach promotes a healthier relationship with food and is more sustainable in the long term.

💡Change

Change is a central theme in the video, where the speaker encourages embracing change as a positive sign of personal evolution and growth. The video mentions the speaker's own experiences with changing majors and career paths, highlighting that change should not be a source of shame but rather an opportunity to align one's life with their inner voice and aspirations.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment. The video discusses how the speaker uses the app 'headspace' to cultivate mindfulness, which has helped them slow down, reduce anxiety, and improve overall well-being. Mindfulness is presented as a tool for managing the restlessness and hurriedness that can characterize modern life.

💡Goal Setting

Effective goal setting is emphasized in the video, suggesting a shift from outcome-based goals to action-based goals. The speaker advises focusing on controllable actions, such as studying a certain number of hours or producing content regularly, rather than on outcomes like exam grades or video views. This approach fosters a sense of control and accomplishment, as it is based on personal actions rather than external validation.

💡Conflicting Desires

Conflicting desires refer to the internal struggle between two or more wants or needs that may be difficult to reconcile. The video uses the example of wanting to travel the world while also desiring stability from a permanent home. It suggests that understanding the sequential nature of achieving dreams can help manage these conflicts, as different aspects of one's life may unfold at different times.

💡Quick Fixes

A quick fix is a temporary solution that provides only short-term results. In the context of the video, the speaker, who worked as a dietitian, advises against quick fixes in diet and lifestyle changes, advocating for sustainable habits instead. The video stresses the importance of considering long-term adherence to any dietary or lifestyle plan, questioning whether one can maintain it for an extended period.

💡Fear vs. Excitement

The video explores the idea that fear and excitement can feel similar physiologically but represent different attitudes towards a situation. The speaker encourages reframing fear as excitement, which can shift the perspective from one of anxiety to one of anticipation and eagerness. This mindset shift can help individuals approach challenges with a more positive and proactive attitude.

💡Self-Talk

Self-talk refers to the internal dialogue one has with oneself. The video suggests using third-person self-talk as a way to be kinder to oneself, as it can reduce the intensity of self-criticism. By speaking to oneself as one would to a friend, the video implies that individuals can foster a more supportive and less judgmental internal environment.

Highlights

The importance of adopting a growth mindset over a fixed mindset for personal development.

The story of how a young boy's Taekwondo teacher instilled a growth mindset by using the phrase 'I can't do it yet'.

The concept of the spotlight effect and how it influences our behavior in social situations.

Eleanor Roosevelt's quote on not worrying about what others think of you and its liberating effect.

The idea that all food has a place at the table and the importance of finding balance in diet.

The shift in focus from exclusion to inclusion when making dietary changes for a healthier relationship with food.

The realization that it's okay to change, as illustrated by personal experiences with changing majors and career paths.

The advice that change is not something to be ashamed of but rather a sign of personal evolution.

The importance of being patient with oneself when embarking on new journeys.

The metaphor of brushing teeth reflecting one's approach to life and the need to slow down.

The introduction of the mindfulness app Headspace and its impact on the speaker's life.

The suggestion to focus on controllable actions rather than unattainable outcomes when setting goals.

The wisdom that we can have everything we've ever wanted, but not all at once, and the beauty of goals unfolding in stages.

The question to ask when considering a new diet or lifestyle change: 'Can you imagine sticking to this for the next 5 years?'

The distinction between quick fixes and long-term consistent efforts for real change.

The therapist's question that reframes fear as excitement for what could happen next.

The technique of using the third person when self-talking to be kinder to oneself.

The call to action to share personal life lessons and quotes that have improved one's life in the comments.

Transcripts

sometimes it takes just a single

inspirational thought to massively

impact your life and today I wanted to

share several of these life lessons and

small little mindset changes that have

helped me so much ever since I first

learned them and I hope it might do the

same for you I also briefly want to

thank our friends over at headspace for

sponsoring today's video headspace is my

favorite meditation app but we're going

to chat more about them a little bit

later for now grab a drink get cozy and

let's get

started when I first met my partner

Robin he was telling me a story about

how when he was a little boy he was

taking Taekwondo lessons and sometimes

he just couldn't kick high enough or he

couldn't break the wooden planks and so

frustrated he'd say I can't do it and

his teacher would reply no I can't do it

yet and 5 years later that little boy

got his black belt and what I love so

much about the story is that from a

young age this teacher was essentially

instilling in him a growth mindset

instead of a fixed mindset cuz somebody

with a fixed mindset believes that

skills and talents are innate something

that they're born with whereas somebody

with a growth mindset believes that hard

work rather than Talent alone is

important in success and it's one of the

most powerful mindsets that you can have

because it essentially makes time your

ally eventually everything is possible

so anytime you catch yourself thinking I

can't do it switch it to I can't do it

yet in social situations I'm hyper aware

Ware of whether what I'm saying or doing

is coming across as awkward or if I'm at

the gym for example I'm nervous that

people are watching my every move and

silently critiquing my form and what

I've come to learn is that this anxiety

in Psychology has a name it's called the

spotlight effect it's when you feel like

all eyes are on you but in reality most

people are too wrapped up in their own

concerns to pay much attention to anyone

else as Elanor Roosevelt once famously

said you wouldn't worry so much about

what others think of you if you realized

how seldom they do most people simply

don't care and I have found that thought

so liberating cuz it's helped me feel

more comfortable just being

[Music]

myself when we want to make a diet

change when we want to eat more

healthfully it can be really tempting to

want to eliminate foods that we think

are harmful like cutting out chocolate

and chips for example the problem with

restrictions though is it can really

mess up our relationship with food and

I'd like to think that all food has a

place at the table and it's more just

about finding balance rather than strict

elimination so what if we shifted our

Focus from exclusion to inclusion so

instead of saying something like I want

to stop eating Donuts we would say I

want to eat more fruits and veggies

instead of saying I want to stop eating

out we'd say I want to make food at home

more often it's more forgiving and more

motivating because we're not focusing on

what we want to eliminate we're

emphasizing what we want to add creating

a diet based on

abundance I wish somebody had told me

this sooner that it is okay to change

when I was in university and I had to

change my major or later in life when I

completely changed career paths I was

consumed with this fear that I was just

throwing away all of this time and

effort that I had invested and I was so

embarrassed to admit to other people

that I had changed my mind again and it

just felt like everybody else had their

path figured out and my uncertainty just

felt like a personal failure and the

same fear even gripped me when I decided

to go plant-based I was hesitant to

share the news with other people cuz I

didn't know what they were going to

think but what I've come to learn is

that change is not something to be

ashamed of it's actually incredibly

inspiring because it's a sign that

you're listening to your inner voice and

you're evolving into the person you're

meant to become but most importantly be

patient with yourself when you're

journeying to a place you've never been

[Music]

before my sister once told me how you

brush your teeth is how you do

everything and literally the night

before I was thinking to myself oh my

gosh I'm so Restless when I'm brushing

my teeth I just want it to be over with

as quickly as possible so I can move on

to the next thing and this kind of

restlessness also spills over to other

areas of my life like I am always

rushing when I'm walking or rushing when

I'm doing the dishes and I think that's

exactly what my sister was trying to

tell me that the way you do one thing is

the way you do everything if we're

always feeling like we're in a hurry if

we're always feeling like we need to do

more our entire life starts to feel

frazzled overwhelming and anxiety

inducing and so the only antidote I

think is to learn to slow down but it's

not just as easy as wanting to slow down

right because it takes practice

especially if we're used to rushing

through life all the time and this is

where headspace has made the biggest

difference in my life so headspace is a

mindfulness app that helps you find calm

and Clarity and if we're talking just a

few life lessons in this video consider

headspace to have hundreds of life

lessons packed into it it has helped me

learn to slow down it's helped me learn

to let go of things I can't control and

just just Embrace whatever situation I'm

in I'm just going to come back to that

feeling being

present being balanced in both body and

mind

So within the app you're going to find

everything from mindfulness walks to

becoming a more mindful eater to

meditations that are specifically

designed to help you unwind and enjoy a

better night's sleep and headp space has

been gracious enough to offer to our

audience an exclusive 40% discount on

their subscription so if you want to

snatch it up it's just for a limited

time this offer you can scan this QR

code right here or check out the link

I'll leave for you in the description

box below I have been using headspace

for nearly a decade now and it has

changed my life so I'm really excited

for you to try it out too

if you're consistently falling short of

meeting your goals the problem might not

be you but how you're setting up the

goals so let me explain if you're

somebody who's always feeling like I

want to get an A on my exam or I want to

win first place or I want to reach

10,000 views on my video these things

can seem like great targets but they're

based on outcomes outcomes you can't

fully control and so if you don't hit

the targets it can start to feel really

discouraging so see you can instead

shift your focus from end results to

actions that you can control instead so

for example instead of saying I want to

reach 10,000 views on my video you can

commit to producing two videos a week or

commit to training 3 days a week or

studying a couple hours every night with

these goals we're focused on inputs

actionable and measurable goals that we

can achieve and when we focus on what we

can control the results often just take

care of themselves

imagine having everything you've ever

wanted in your life right now but would

it even be possible given that we have

so many conflicting desires like we

dream of traveling the world but we also

crave the stability of a permanent home

or maybe we dream of starting a family

but at the same time we cherish our

independence like I remember a few years

ago I was video chatting with my mom and

I was telling her how homesick I was on

the one hand I loved living in Europe

and I was building this life with my

partner and it was amazing but at the

same time I so fiercely missed my family

back home in Canada and my mom said you

will have everything you've ever wanted

in your life just never all at the same

time and that grounded me it helped me

so much it helped me realize that our

dreams and our goals they often unfold

in stages and while we might wish that

everything happens all at once there's a

beauty in each dream materializing in

its own

time when I was working as a dietitian

and somebody would come to me and say

Hey I want to follow this specific diet

or I want to try this juice cleanse or I

want to eliminate this specific food

what do you think my response was always

can you imagine sticking to this way of

eating for the next 5 years if the

answer is no it's probably not the best

approach and it's just a simple question

to help us rule out if what we're trying

to follow is a quick fix and when it

comes to quick fixes usually they only

give short-term results but real change

happens with consistent effort over time

the daily habits as Gretchen Rubin once

said what you do every day matters more

than what you do once in a while so if

you ever come across someone who says

you should eat a certain way or you

shouldn't eat a certain food before you

give in just ask yourself honestly can I

see myself following this advice not

just for the next week but can I see

myself eating this way consistently for

the next 5 years and if the answer is no

it's probably a good idea to find a more

balanced approach

I was once talking to a therapist I was

telling her about this goal I really

wanted to achieve but I was so afraid of

failing and she asked Are You Afraid or

are you excited and I said no I'm afraid

and she asked again are you sure because

the physical sensations of fear and

excitement are very similar we often

think that fear means we're doing

something wrong but what if it's just

showing us that we care about the

outcome that we're invested what if we

sof fear as excitement for what could

happen next in the words of the author

Corey Allen going from being worried

about what might happen to being excited

about what might happen is only a

mindset shift away and so now anytime I

feel fear I'll say out loud nope I'm

excited it literally transforms the

paralyzing effects of fear and anxiety

into an openness to try new

things we're stuck with ourselves every

single

other people come and go but we're with

ourselves forever and so it's really

important that we are intentional and

kind in the way that we talk to

ourselves and so this is a little trick

that I use it's going to sound weird but

just bear with me anytime you're talking

about yourself in your mind try to use

the third person because I think we tend

to beat ourselves up a lot and we say

things like I'm so dumb or I'm so ugly

but if we shift to third person instead

and say sadd's so dumb she's so ugly

kind of sits weird because we're not

used to talking about other people like

that hopefully but we will talk about

ourselves like that and so when we

switch to third person I find that we

tend to soften our words so we might

instead say you know she felt so dumb

because she didn't know what to say or

she feels really ugly because she

doesn't like what she's wearing it makes

the whole thing feel less intense and

more just like we're working through a

problem instead of attacking ourselves

look you can walk away from a bully but

you can't walk away from yourself so you

want your mind not to be a place where

you feel scared and criticized but a

place where you feel safe and supported

so just make sure you're building

yourself up and not tearing yourself

down but now for the best part I am so

curious to know if there are any

thoughts life lessons quotes that you've

learned that have helped to improve your

life if you're willing to share it I

think everybody's going to love just

going through the comments and absorbing

all of the wisdom that's down there I

know I'm looking forward to it so I'll

see you in the comments thanks so much

for hanging with me today friends I

really appreciate it makeup lies signing

off and I'll see you in the next video