10 life lessons (for a healthy mind + body) ✨
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker shares life lessons and mindset shifts that have positively impacted their life. Key themes include adopting a growth mindset over a fixed one, recognizing the 'spotlight effect' to alleviate social anxiety, focusing on dietary balance rather than strict restrictions, embracing change as a sign of personal evolution, and the importance of patience with oneself. The speaker also discusses the value of setting actionable goals, the wisdom in realizing that conflicting desires often unfold in stages, and the need for consistency in habits for lasting change. They suggest reframing fear as excitement and speaking to oneself kindly, using the third person to soften self-criticism. The video is sponsored by Headspace, a mindfulness app that has helped the speaker incorporate these lessons into their life.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Mindset Matters: Embrace a growth mindset by saying 'I can't do it yet' instead of 'I can't do it' to foster continuous improvement.
- 🔍 Spotlight Effect: Recognize that the spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where one feels like they are the center of attention, but most people are focused on their own lives.
- 🍽️ Food Inclusion: Shift your focus from excluding 'bad' foods to including more 'good' foods to create a healthier and more balanced diet.
- 🌱 Embracing Change: Understand that change is a natural part of growth and should be welcomed, not feared, as it reflects your evolving journey.
- 🚶♀️ Patience with Progress: Practice patience with yourself as you move towards your goals, knowing that personal growth is a journey, not a destination.
- 🪥 Attention to Detail: Apply the same level of care and attention to all tasks, as small habits can reflect your overall approach to life.
- 🧘♂️ Mindfulness and Slowing Down: Utilize mindfulness practices to slow down and reduce feelings of restlessness, leading to a more balanced and present life.
- 🎯 Focus on Actions, Not Outcomes: Set goals based on actions you can control rather than outcomes you can't, to reduce discouragement and increase personal agency.
- 💭 Managing Desires: Accept that conflicting desires are normal and that achieving goals often unfolds in stages, not all at once.
- 🔁 Long-Term Consistency: Evaluate dietary changes and habits with the long-term in mind, asking if they are sustainable for years, not just weeks.
- 🏃♀️ Excitement Over Fear: Reframe fear as excitement to approach challenges with a positive mindset and reduce anxiety.
- 🗣️ Self-Compassion: Practice speaking to yourself with kindness, using the third person to reduce self-criticism and promote a supportive inner dialogue.
Q & A
What is the significance of the story about the Taekwondo lessons in the script?
-The story about the Taekwondo lessons illustrates the importance of a growth mindset over a fixed mindset. It shows that with perseverance and the belief that abilities can be developed, success is achievable, as exemplified by the boy eventually earning his black belt.
How does the script suggest changing the way we react to our limitations?
-The script suggests changing the phrase 'I can't do it' to 'I can't do it yet,' which fosters a growth mindset and implies that with time and effort, one can overcome current limitations.
What is the spotlight effect mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to social anxiety?
-The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where individuals believe they are the center of attention, often leading to self-consciousness and anxiety in social situations. The script suggests that this anxiety is often unfounded, as most people are preoccupied with their own concerns.
How does the script propose changing our approach to dietary habits?
-The script suggests shifting the focus from exclusion to inclusion in dietary habits. Instead of eliminating foods, it encourages adding healthier options like fruits and vegetables, promoting a balanced and sustainable approach to eating.
What is the main message about change and personal growth conveyed in the script?
-The script conveys that change is a natural and positive part of personal growth. It encourages embracing change and being patient with oneself, as personal evolution is a journey that unfolds over time.
How does the script relate the way one brushes their teeth to their overall approach to life?
-The script uses the metaphor of brushing teeth to illustrate that if one is restless and rushed in small tasks, this impatience can spill over into other areas of life. It suggests that learning to slow down in routine activities can help cultivate patience and mindfulness in all aspects of life.
What role does the mindfulness app Headspace play in the script?
-Headspace is presented as a tool that has helped the speaker slow down, let go of things they can't control, and embrace the present moment. It offers various features like mindfulness walks and meditations designed to enhance mental well-being.
How does the script advise on setting goals to avoid discouragement?
-The script advises focusing on actions that are controllable rather than outcomes that are not fully within one's control. By setting goals based on inputs and actions, one can maintain motivation and a sense of achievement.
What is the advice given in the script for handling conflicting desires?
-The script suggests that it's natural to have conflicting desires and that it's important to recognize that we can't have everything we want all at once. It encourages appreciating the unfolding of dreams and goals in stages.
How does the script recommend evaluating the sustainability of a new diet or lifestyle change?
-The script recommends asking oneself if they can see themselves maintaining the new diet or lifestyle for the next 5 years. If the answer is no, it suggests looking for a more balanced and sustainable approach.
What mindset shift is proposed in the script to transform fear into a positive force?
-The script proposes relabeling fear as excitement, which can transform the paralyzing effects of fear and anxiety into an openness to try new things and embrace new experiences.
How does the script suggest talking to oneself in a kinder way?
-The script suggests using the third person when talking to oneself to soften self-criticism. This shift can help in reducing the intensity of self-judgment and foster a more supportive internal dialogue.
Outlines
🚀 Embracing a Growth Mindset and Overcoming Challenges
The speaker begins by emphasizing the power of inspirational thoughts in shaping one's life. They share personal life lessons and mindset shifts that have been influential. The video is sponsored by Headspace, a meditation app the speaker highly recommends. A story is told about the speaker's partner, Robin, who learned Taekwondo as a child. Despite initial struggles, his teacher's response 'I can't do it yet' instilled a growth mindset, teaching him that skills can be developed over time. This mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, where one believes talents are innate. The speaker encourages viewers to adopt a growth mindset, suggesting that with time and effort, anything is possible. They also discuss the 'spotlight effect,' a psychological phenomenon where one feels as though they are the center of attention, often leading to self-consciousness. The speaker suggests that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to judge others, liberating oneself from the anxiety of social situations.
🍽️ Shifting Perspectives on Food and Life Goals
The speaker discusses the common temptation to restrict certain foods when aiming for a healthier diet, but cautions that this can negatively impact one's relationship with food. Instead, they advocate for a balanced approach, focusing on inclusion rather than exclusion. For example, instead of发誓 to stop eating donuts, one should aim to eat more fruits and vegetables. The speaker also reflects on their own experiences with change, such as changing majors in university and later career paths, expressing initial fears of 'wasting' time and effort. They conclude that change should be embraced as a sign of personal growth and evolution. The speaker also shares a personal anecdote about brushing teeth, highlighting how one's approach to small tasks can reflect their overall approach to life. They encourage viewers to slow down and practice mindfulness, crediting Headspace for helping them achieve this. Headspace offers various features like mindfulness walks and sleep meditations, and the speaker shares an exclusive discount for the audience.
🌱 Cultivating Mindfulness and Positive Self-Talk
The speaker continues by discussing the importance of setting achievable goals that focus on controllable actions rather than uncertain outcomes. They provide examples of shifting from outcome-based goals to process-based goals, which can lead to a sense of control and accomplishment. The speaker also touches on the idea of conflicting desires and the realization that we cannot have everything we want all at once, but rather our dreams and goals unfold in stages. They share a client's experience from their time as a dietitian, emphasizing the importance of sustainable dietary changes over quick fixes. The speaker suggests asking oneself if a dietary change is something they can maintain for the long term. They also discuss the physical similarities between fear and excitement, suggesting that fear can be reframed as excitement for what could happen next. Lastly, the speaker encourages positive self-talk, recommending the use of the third person when speaking to oneself to soften self-criticism. They invite viewers to share their own life lessons and look forward to reading the comments.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Growth Mindset
💡Spotlight Effect
💡Balanced Diet
💡Change
💡Mindfulness
💡Goal Setting
💡Conflicting Desires
💡Quick Fixes
💡Fear vs. Excitement
💡Self-Talk
Highlights
The importance of adopting a growth mindset over a fixed mindset for personal development.
The story of how a young boy's Taekwondo teacher instilled a growth mindset by using the phrase 'I can't do it yet'.
The concept of the spotlight effect and how it influences our behavior in social situations.
Eleanor Roosevelt's quote on not worrying about what others think of you and its liberating effect.
The idea that all food has a place at the table and the importance of finding balance in diet.
The shift in focus from exclusion to inclusion when making dietary changes for a healthier relationship with food.
The realization that it's okay to change, as illustrated by personal experiences with changing majors and career paths.
The advice that change is not something to be ashamed of but rather a sign of personal evolution.
The importance of being patient with oneself when embarking on new journeys.
The metaphor of brushing teeth reflecting one's approach to life and the need to slow down.
The introduction of the mindfulness app Headspace and its impact on the speaker's life.
The suggestion to focus on controllable actions rather than unattainable outcomes when setting goals.
The wisdom that we can have everything we've ever wanted, but not all at once, and the beauty of goals unfolding in stages.
The question to ask when considering a new diet or lifestyle change: 'Can you imagine sticking to this for the next 5 years?'
The distinction between quick fixes and long-term consistent efforts for real change.
The therapist's question that reframes fear as excitement for what could happen next.
The technique of using the third person when self-talking to be kinder to oneself.
The call to action to share personal life lessons and quotes that have improved one's life in the comments.
Transcripts
sometimes it takes just a single
inspirational thought to massively
impact your life and today I wanted to
share several of these life lessons and
small little mindset changes that have
helped me so much ever since I first
learned them and I hope it might do the
same for you I also briefly want to
thank our friends over at headspace for
sponsoring today's video headspace is my
favorite meditation app but we're going
to chat more about them a little bit
later for now grab a drink get cozy and
let's get
started when I first met my partner
Robin he was telling me a story about
how when he was a little boy he was
taking Taekwondo lessons and sometimes
he just couldn't kick high enough or he
couldn't break the wooden planks and so
frustrated he'd say I can't do it and
his teacher would reply no I can't do it
yet and 5 years later that little boy
got his black belt and what I love so
much about the story is that from a
young age this teacher was essentially
instilling in him a growth mindset
instead of a fixed mindset cuz somebody
with a fixed mindset believes that
skills and talents are innate something
that they're born with whereas somebody
with a growth mindset believes that hard
work rather than Talent alone is
important in success and it's one of the
most powerful mindsets that you can have
because it essentially makes time your
ally eventually everything is possible
so anytime you catch yourself thinking I
can't do it switch it to I can't do it
yet in social situations I'm hyper aware
Ware of whether what I'm saying or doing
is coming across as awkward or if I'm at
the gym for example I'm nervous that
people are watching my every move and
silently critiquing my form and what
I've come to learn is that this anxiety
in Psychology has a name it's called the
spotlight effect it's when you feel like
all eyes are on you but in reality most
people are too wrapped up in their own
concerns to pay much attention to anyone
else as Elanor Roosevelt once famously
said you wouldn't worry so much about
what others think of you if you realized
how seldom they do most people simply
don't care and I have found that thought
so liberating cuz it's helped me feel
more comfortable just being
[Music]
myself when we want to make a diet
change when we want to eat more
healthfully it can be really tempting to
want to eliminate foods that we think
are harmful like cutting out chocolate
and chips for example the problem with
restrictions though is it can really
mess up our relationship with food and
I'd like to think that all food has a
place at the table and it's more just
about finding balance rather than strict
elimination so what if we shifted our
Focus from exclusion to inclusion so
instead of saying something like I want
to stop eating Donuts we would say I
want to eat more fruits and veggies
instead of saying I want to stop eating
out we'd say I want to make food at home
more often it's more forgiving and more
motivating because we're not focusing on
what we want to eliminate we're
emphasizing what we want to add creating
a diet based on
abundance I wish somebody had told me
this sooner that it is okay to change
when I was in university and I had to
change my major or later in life when I
completely changed career paths I was
consumed with this fear that I was just
throwing away all of this time and
effort that I had invested and I was so
embarrassed to admit to other people
that I had changed my mind again and it
just felt like everybody else had their
path figured out and my uncertainty just
felt like a personal failure and the
same fear even gripped me when I decided
to go plant-based I was hesitant to
share the news with other people cuz I
didn't know what they were going to
think but what I've come to learn is
that change is not something to be
ashamed of it's actually incredibly
inspiring because it's a sign that
you're listening to your inner voice and
you're evolving into the person you're
meant to become but most importantly be
patient with yourself when you're
journeying to a place you've never been
[Music]
before my sister once told me how you
brush your teeth is how you do
everything and literally the night
before I was thinking to myself oh my
gosh I'm so Restless when I'm brushing
my teeth I just want it to be over with
as quickly as possible so I can move on
to the next thing and this kind of
restlessness also spills over to other
areas of my life like I am always
rushing when I'm walking or rushing when
I'm doing the dishes and I think that's
exactly what my sister was trying to
tell me that the way you do one thing is
the way you do everything if we're
always feeling like we're in a hurry if
we're always feeling like we need to do
more our entire life starts to feel
frazzled overwhelming and anxiety
inducing and so the only antidote I
think is to learn to slow down but it's
not just as easy as wanting to slow down
right because it takes practice
especially if we're used to rushing
through life all the time and this is
where headspace has made the biggest
difference in my life so headspace is a
mindfulness app that helps you find calm
and Clarity and if we're talking just a
few life lessons in this video consider
headspace to have hundreds of life
lessons packed into it it has helped me
learn to slow down it's helped me learn
to let go of things I can't control and
just just Embrace whatever situation I'm
in I'm just going to come back to that
feeling being
present being balanced in both body and
mind
So within the app you're going to find
everything from mindfulness walks to
becoming a more mindful eater to
meditations that are specifically
designed to help you unwind and enjoy a
better night's sleep and headp space has
been gracious enough to offer to our
audience an exclusive 40% discount on
their subscription so if you want to
snatch it up it's just for a limited
time this offer you can scan this QR
code right here or check out the link
I'll leave for you in the description
box below I have been using headspace
for nearly a decade now and it has
changed my life so I'm really excited
for you to try it out too
if you're consistently falling short of
meeting your goals the problem might not
be you but how you're setting up the
goals so let me explain if you're
somebody who's always feeling like I
want to get an A on my exam or I want to
win first place or I want to reach
10,000 views on my video these things
can seem like great targets but they're
based on outcomes outcomes you can't
fully control and so if you don't hit
the targets it can start to feel really
discouraging so see you can instead
shift your focus from end results to
actions that you can control instead so
for example instead of saying I want to
reach 10,000 views on my video you can
commit to producing two videos a week or
commit to training 3 days a week or
studying a couple hours every night with
these goals we're focused on inputs
actionable and measurable goals that we
can achieve and when we focus on what we
can control the results often just take
care of themselves
imagine having everything you've ever
wanted in your life right now but would
it even be possible given that we have
so many conflicting desires like we
dream of traveling the world but we also
crave the stability of a permanent home
or maybe we dream of starting a family
but at the same time we cherish our
independence like I remember a few years
ago I was video chatting with my mom and
I was telling her how homesick I was on
the one hand I loved living in Europe
and I was building this life with my
partner and it was amazing but at the
same time I so fiercely missed my family
back home in Canada and my mom said you
will have everything you've ever wanted
in your life just never all at the same
time and that grounded me it helped me
so much it helped me realize that our
dreams and our goals they often unfold
in stages and while we might wish that
everything happens all at once there's a
beauty in each dream materializing in
its own
time when I was working as a dietitian
and somebody would come to me and say
Hey I want to follow this specific diet
or I want to try this juice cleanse or I
want to eliminate this specific food
what do you think my response was always
can you imagine sticking to this way of
eating for the next 5 years if the
answer is no it's probably not the best
approach and it's just a simple question
to help us rule out if what we're trying
to follow is a quick fix and when it
comes to quick fixes usually they only
give short-term results but real change
happens with consistent effort over time
the daily habits as Gretchen Rubin once
said what you do every day matters more
than what you do once in a while so if
you ever come across someone who says
you should eat a certain way or you
shouldn't eat a certain food before you
give in just ask yourself honestly can I
see myself following this advice not
just for the next week but can I see
myself eating this way consistently for
the next 5 years and if the answer is no
it's probably a good idea to find a more
balanced approach
I was once talking to a therapist I was
telling her about this goal I really
wanted to achieve but I was so afraid of
failing and she asked Are You Afraid or
are you excited and I said no I'm afraid
and she asked again are you sure because
the physical sensations of fear and
excitement are very similar we often
think that fear means we're doing
something wrong but what if it's just
showing us that we care about the
outcome that we're invested what if we
sof fear as excitement for what could
happen next in the words of the author
Corey Allen going from being worried
about what might happen to being excited
about what might happen is only a
mindset shift away and so now anytime I
feel fear I'll say out loud nope I'm
excited it literally transforms the
paralyzing effects of fear and anxiety
into an openness to try new
things we're stuck with ourselves every
single
other people come and go but we're with
ourselves forever and so it's really
important that we are intentional and
kind in the way that we talk to
ourselves and so this is a little trick
that I use it's going to sound weird but
just bear with me anytime you're talking
about yourself in your mind try to use
the third person because I think we tend
to beat ourselves up a lot and we say
things like I'm so dumb or I'm so ugly
but if we shift to third person instead
and say sadd's so dumb she's so ugly
kind of sits weird because we're not
used to talking about other people like
that hopefully but we will talk about
ourselves like that and so when we
switch to third person I find that we
tend to soften our words so we might
instead say you know she felt so dumb
because she didn't know what to say or
she feels really ugly because she
doesn't like what she's wearing it makes
the whole thing feel less intense and
more just like we're working through a
problem instead of attacking ourselves
look you can walk away from a bully but
you can't walk away from yourself so you
want your mind not to be a place where
you feel scared and criticized but a
place where you feel safe and supported
so just make sure you're building
yourself up and not tearing yourself
down but now for the best part I am so
curious to know if there are any
thoughts life lessons quotes that you've
learned that have helped to improve your
life if you're willing to share it I
think everybody's going to love just
going through the comments and absorbing
all of the wisdom that's down there I
know I'm looking forward to it so I'll
see you in the comments thanks so much
for hanging with me today friends I
really appreciate it makeup lies signing
off and I'll see you in the next video
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