Why Did My Ex Block Or Remove Me From Social Media?

Chris Seiter
28 Jul 202316:35

Summary

TLDRThe video script explores six core reasons why an ex might block or remove someone on social media, including avoidant behavior, emotional pain, anger or revenge, starting a new relationship, established patterns, and being part of an unlucky statistic. It also delves into why some exes block on social media but not on phone numbers, suggesting reasons like social media detachment, different intimacy levels, practical considerations, and emotional ambivalence. The speaker advises continuing to post on social media even after being blocked, emphasizing the importance of diverse and engaging content to maintain social proof and potentially regain the ex's attention.

Takeaways

  • 🔒 **Avoidant Programming**: Many individuals block or remove others on social media due to an avoidant attachment style, which stems from a fear of abandonment and a tendency to avoid conflict.
  • 😣 **Painful Reminders**: Blocking can be a method to prevent the emotional pain associated with seeing an ex-partner's activities on social media.
  • đŸ”„ **Anger or Revenge**: Some people may block out of anger or a desire for revenge, using social media as a tool to hurt or confuse their ex.
  • 💔 **New Relationships**: Starting a new relationship can prompt someone to block their ex on social media to avoid complications or to show commitment to the new partner.
  • 🔄 **Pattern of Behavior**: For some, blocking or removing exes on social media is a consistent pattern post-breakup, possibly to prevent interference with future relationships.
  • 📉 **Unlucky 37%**: Research indicates that approximately 37% of people are likely to block or unfriend an ex on social media after a breakup, sometimes without a clear reason.
  • đŸ“± **Selective Blocking**: Some exes might block on social media but keep other lines of communication open, like phone numbers, for various reasons.
  • đŸ€” **Social Media Detachment**: Blocking can be a way to detach from the constant updates of an ex without completely severing all ties.
  • 💬 **Different Levels of Intimacy**: Social media and direct communication like phone calls represent different levels of intimacy, and some may prefer to maintain a more personal connection.
  • 🔄 **Pogo-Sticking Effect**: People may toggle between blocking and unblocking an ex as they grapple with mixed feelings and the desire to monitor their ex's activities.
  • 📈 **Continued Posting**: Despite being blocked, it's advised to continue posting on social media to maintain a presence and potentially influence the ex's perception.
  • 🔑 **Five Post Categories**: To handle being blocked, consider posting across five categories: health, wealth, relationships, magnum opus (intersection of the three), and personal choice.

Q & A

  • What are the six core reasons an ex might block or remove someone on social media?

    -The six core reasons are: 1) Avoidant programming due to fear of abandonment, 2) Seeing the person is painful and they want to avoid that pain, 3) They are driven by anger or revenge, 4) They have a new relationship and want to avoid complications, 5) It's their pattern to block or remove exes after a breakup, and 6) They are part of the 'Unlucky 37', meaning there's no specific reason, it's just a common occurrence.

  • What is meant by 'avoidant programming' in the context of the script?

    -'Avoidant programming' refers to a psychological pattern where individuals, due to a core wound like fear of abandonment, exhibit avoidant behavior to prevent future conflicts or emotional pain, often by cutting off contact or interaction with someone who triggers this fear.

  • How does the 'pogo sticking effect' relate to the behavior of blocking and unblocking an ex on social media?

    -The 'pogo sticking effect' describes the cyclical behavior of blocking and then unblocking an ex on social media due to the conflicting feelings of wanting to avoid the pain of seeing them but also desiring to keep tabs on their activities, leading to a back-and-forth pattern of blocking and unblocking.

  • Why might someone block an ex on social media but not block their phone number?

    -Someone might block an ex on social media but not their phone number due to reasons like wanting social media detachment, maintaining different levels of intimacy, practical considerations like shared responsibilities, or emotional ambivalence where they still have feelings and keep a line of communication open.

  • What is the significance of the 'Holy Trinity' in the context of social media posting after a breakup?

    -The 'Holy Trinity' refers to dividing one's life into three distinct points: health, wealth, and relationships. It suggests focusing on improving these areas and posting about them on social media to show personal growth and garner social proof, which can indirectly influence the ex's perception.

  • What does the term 'social media Detachment' imply in the script?

    -Social media Detachment implies the act of blocking someone on social media to avoid seeing their activities, posts, or new relationships, while still maintaining other forms of communication, thus detaching emotionally but not completely cutting off contact.

  • What is the 'Magnum Opus' in the context of social media posting after a breakup?

    -The 'Magnum Opus' refers to the intersection of health, wealth, and relationships, suggesting a significant achievement or event that positively impacts all three areas of life. Posting about such an event on social media can demonstrate substantial personal progress and attract attention.

  • How does the Pew Center's research on breakups relate to the script's discussion on social media blocking?

    -The Pew Center's research indicates that around 37% of teens have unfriended or blocked someone after a breakup on social media. This statistic supports the script's discussion by providing a baseline expectation of the likelihood of being blocked by an ex on social media.

  • What is the advice given in the script for handling an ex who has blocked you on social media?

    -The advice is to continue posting on social media as if you weren't blocked, focusing on five categories of posts: health-based, wealth-based, relationship-based, magnum opus-based, and personal choice posts. This approach aims to maintain a positive online presence and potentially influence the ex through indirect observation.

  • What is the 'Grapevine' effect mentioned in the script in relation to social media and breakups?

    -The 'Grapevine' effect refers to the indirect spread of information or changes in one's social status through mutual friends or acquaintances, which can eventually reach the ex. This can be influenced by the social media activities of the person who was blocked, aiming to create a positive impression that might affect the ex's perception.

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Social MediaBreakup BehaviorAvoidant PatternsEmotional HealingRelationship AdviceOnline PresencePost-Breakup TipsAvoidant AttachmentSocial ProofRecovery Strategies
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