How to Be Happy Every Day: It Will Change the World | Jacqueline Way | TEDxStanleyPark

Summary

In this inspiring talk, a mother of three shares her mission to foster happiness and emotional health in children. She introduces a daily giving practice that not only benefits others but also triggers 'helper's high' in givers, reducing stress and promoting happiness. Starting with her young son, she expands the concept to schools, creating a ripple effect of kindness that transforms classrooms and communities, emphasizing the simplicity and impact of small, daily acts of generosity.

Takeaways

• 👩‍👦 The speaker is a mother of three, emphasizing the multifaceted roles and challenges of parenthood.
• 🌍 The World Happiness Report highlights a concerning number of children and adults suffering from mental health issues.
• 👶 Emotional health in childhood is a strong predictor of adult satisfaction, underscoring the importance of a happy childhood.
• 🌟 The speaker's father, a doctor, taught her the joy of giving back through an annual Christmas caroling tradition at his hospital.
• 😊 The act of giving triggers 'helper's high' in our brains, releasing endorphins and other hormones that contribute to happiness.
• 👶🎉 The speaker initiated a family project with her son Nick to give back daily for a year, starting from his third birthday.
• 📝 The idea of daily giving was simple: perform one act of kindness, helpfulness, or giving every day for 365 days.
• 🐾 The first act of giving involved donating towels and blankets to a local animal shelter, teaching Nick about the impact of his actions.
• 🌱 Nick quickly embraced the concept of daily giving, learning about recycling and the importance of small acts of kindness.
• 📝 The 365give blog was created to share their daily giving adventures, which resonated with people worldwide and inspired others to give.
• 🏫 The 365give challenge was introduced in schools, empowering children to choose how they give and positively impact the world.
• 🌐 The ripple effect of the 365give challenge has reached over 5,000 children in 25 schools, promoting happiness and community engagement.
• 🌟 The speaker encourages everyone to start their own list of daily gives, emphasizing that happiness can be achieved through simple acts of kindness.

Q & A

What is the speaker's profession and how does it relate to the topic of happiness?

The speaker is a mother to three children, which she describes as one of the toughest jobs on the planet. Her role as a parent is central to the topic of happiness as she discusses the challenges and aspirations for her children's emotional health and well-being.

What is the World Happiness Report and what does it reveal about children and adults suffering from mental health issues?

The World Happiness Report is a publication that discusses global well-being and happiness. According to the speaker, it reveals that over 220 million children and 1 billion adults suffer from anxiety, depression, and conduct disorders, indicating a significant issue with mental health worldwide.

How does the speaker suggest children learn about happiness and stress from adults?

The speaker suggests that children learn about happiness and stress from observing the adults around them. They notice the busyness of adults, feel their stress, and see them struggle to find happiness, which can influence the children's own emotional health.

What is the key predictor of a child becoming a satisfied adult according to the World Happiness Report mentioned in the script?

The key predictor of a child becoming a satisfied adult, as stated in the World Happiness Report, is their emotional health during childhood.

What is the 'helper's high' and how is it related to the act of giving?

The 'helper's high' is a term used to describe the natural high feeling one gets when they give to others. It is related to the act of giving because researchers have found that when we give, our brains release endorphins, which create this pleasurable sensation.

How does the speaker's father's actions during Christmas contribute to the theme of giving and happiness?

The speaker's father, a doctor, would take his family to the hospital to sing Christmas carols for his patients every Christmas morning. This act of giving back to the patients, bringing joy and smiles to their faces, taught the speaker about the happiness derived from helping others.

What is the '365give' project initiated by the speaker for her son Nick on his third birthday?

The '365give' project is an initiative where the speaker and her son Nick decided to give back to the world every day for one year. The idea was to perform one act of kindness, helpfulness, or giving each day for 365 days.

How did the '365give' project expand beyond the speaker's family?

The '365give' project expanded beyond the family when the speaker started a blog to share their daily giving adventures. The blog gained readership and engagement from around the world, inspiring others to share their own stories of daily giving.

What educational program was created as a result of the '365give' concept being introduced into a local school?

An educational program called the '365give challenge' was created, integrating a simple daily giving practice with the school curriculum. It is unique because it is powered by the kids, who choose how they will give and support causes of their choice.

How has the '365give challenge' impacted the children involved in the program?

The '365give challenge' has impacted the children by helping them understand how their actions can make a better world. It has connected them to each other, their community, and has made their classroom environment happier.

What is the speaker's call to action for the audience and the world at large?

The speaker's call to action is for everyone to start a daily habit of giving, similar to brushing their teeth. She encourages people to donate, volunteer, help a neighbor, or be kind to a stranger as a way to create a better and happier world, one give at a time.

Outlines

00:00

🌍 The Challenge of Parenting and Global Happiness

The speaker, a mother of three, humorously introduces her challenging yet rewarding role as a parent. She expresses the universal desire for children to have happy, carefree childhoods and grow into kind, compassionate adults. However, she highlights a concerning statistic from the World Happiness Report, which indicates widespread anxiety, depression, and conduct disorders among children and adults globally. The speaker emphasizes the impact of adults' stress and struggles on children's learning and happiness. She introduces the concept that a child's emotional health is a strong predictor of their adult satisfaction, suggesting that fostering emotional well-being in children is crucial for a happier future.

05:00

🎁 The Power of Giving and Its Impact on Happiness

The speaker shares a personal story about her father, a doctor, who involved the family in spreading joy to his patients by singing Christmas carols in the hospital. This tradition taught her the happiness derived from giving back. She delves into the science behind the act of giving, explaining how it triggers 'helper's high' due to endorphins, raises oxytocin levels, and reduces cortisol, thereby reducing stress and promoting happiness. The speaker proposes that giving can be a simple, daily practice accessible even to young children, setting the stage for a project she initiated with her son, Nick.

10:00

👦 Teaching Daily Giving to a Young Child

The speaker recounts her initiative to teach her young son, Nick, the habit of daily giving on his third birthday. Despite the initial confusion about the duration of a year, Nick becomes excited about the idea of daily giving after his mother explains it with the help of a list of simple, kind acts. They start with donating to a local animal shelter, which helps Nick make a connection between his actions and their impact. The speaker then creates a blog, '365give,' to share their daily giving experiences, which garners international attention and inspires others to start their own giving practices.

15:06

📚 The 365give Challenge and Its Educational Impact

The speaker expands on the concept of daily giving by introducing the 365give challenge, an educational program that integrates giving into classroom activities. The program is unique in that it empowers children to choose how they give and the causes they support. The speaker shares stories of children making a difference in their communities, such as baking cookies for firefighters and fundraising for children with cancer. The 365give challenge has reached thousands of children across multiple schools, fostering a sense of connection, community, and happiness. The speaker concludes by encouraging everyone to start their own lists of daily gives, emphasizing the simplicity and effectiveness of this approach in creating a happier world.

🌏 Creating a Ripple Effect of Happiness Through Giving

In the final paragraph, the speaker calls for collective action, suggesting that everyone has the power to contribute to a happier world through small, daily acts of giving. She envisions a scenario where the entire audience, and by extension, everyone, adopts the habit of daily giving, leading to a significant positive impact. The speaker applauds the potential of these individual contributions to alleviate anxiety and depression, and she reiterates the simplicity of the approach, comparing it to a daily routine like brushing one's teeth.

Keywords

💡Parenting

Parenting refers to the process of nurturing and raising a child, involving responsibilities such as providing for the child's needs, guiding their development, and instilling values. In the video, the speaker as a parent is faced with the challenge of balancing multiple roles and ensuring the emotional health of her children, which is central to the theme of creating happy adults and a happier world.

💡Emotional Health

Emotional health is the state of one's emotional well-being, which includes the ability to manage stress, express emotions in a healthy way, and maintain positive relationships. The video emphasizes the importance of a child's emotional health as a predictor of their future satisfaction, highlighting the speaker's goal to foster happy and emotionally stable adults.

💡Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression are common mental health issues characterized by feelings of worry, fear, and sadness that can interfere with daily life. The video cites statistics from the World Happiness Report to illustrate the prevalence of these conditions among children and adults, setting the stage for the discussion on how to transition from a state of distress to happiness.

💡World Happiness Report

The World Happiness Report is a publication that ranks countries by their happiness levels, based on factors such as economic strength, social support, and life expectancy. In the script, it is mentioned as a source that provides insights into global happiness trends and the importance of emotional health in childhood for predicting adult satisfaction.

💡Giving Back

Giving back refers to the act of contributing to others or society without expecting anything in return. The video's narrative is built around the concept of giving back as a means to achieve happiness, with the speaker sharing personal experiences and the '365give' project as examples of how giving can improve emotional well-being.

💡Helper's High

Helper's high is a term used to describe the positive feeling one gets from helping others, which is associated with the release of endorphins in the brain. The video explains that this physiological response to giving is a natural high that can lead to reduced stress and increased happiness.

💡Serotonin

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well-being and happiness. In the context of the video, serotonin is mentioned as the 'happy transmitter' that is released when one volunteers or gives back, contributing to the overall sense of happiness derived from such acts.

💡Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone associated with the stress response in the body. The video script explains that giving can lead to a decrease in cortisol levels, which in turn reduces anxiety and stress, reinforcing the idea that acts of kindness and generosity are beneficial for mental health.

💡365give Challenge

The 365give Challenge is an educational program and initiative introduced in the video, which encourages daily acts of giving. It is designed to be student-led, allowing children to choose how they will give back, thereby integrating the practice of giving into their daily lives and education.

💡Ripple Effect

The ripple effect refers to the phenomenon where a small action can have far-reaching consequences, often used to describe the impact of kindness or positive behavior. In the video, the speaker describes how the initial idea of daily giving with her son has spread to schools and communities, creating a wider impact on happiness and well-being.

💡Daily Habit

A daily habit is a routine or behavior that is practiced regularly. The video uses the analogy of brushing teeth to illustrate the idea of making giving a daily habit, suggesting that it can be as simple and integrated into one's life as other routine activities.

Highlights

The speaker humorously describes her challenging yet rewarding role as a mother.

The speaker aspires for her children to have a happy childhood, free to play and grow into kind adults.

A startling statistic from the World Happiness Report: over 220 million children and 1 billion adults suffer from mental health issues.

The speaker emphasizes that children learn from adults' behaviors, including stress and the pursuit of happiness.

Emotional health in childhood is the best predictor of a child's future satisfaction as an adult, according to the World Happiness Report.

The speaker shares a heartwarming family tradition of singing Christmas carols for hospital patients with her father.

Giving back to others, as demonstrated through the carol singing, is shown to induce happiness in both the giver and receiver.

Research indicates that the act of giving triggers a 'helper's high' due to the release of endorphins and oxytocin.

Volunteering and giving are shown to reduce stress hormones like cortisol, contributing to overall happiness.

The speaker introduces a simple yet profound idea to her son Nick: the concept of daily giving to achieve happiness.

Nick's enthusiasm for giving is ignited as he donates towels and blankets to a local animal shelter on his third birthday.

The daily giving practice becomes a routine for Nick, akin to brushing his teeth, highlighting its simplicity and integration into daily life.

The speaker starts a blog, '365give', to share their daily giving adventures, which garners a global readership and engagement.

Inspiring stories from around the world are shared, showing the impact of the daily giving challenge on individuals and communities.

The 365give challenge is introduced in schools, empowering children to choose how they give and impact the world positively.

The speaker shares touching stories of how children in schools have embraced the giving challenge, making a tangible difference in their communities.

The speaker envisions a world where everyone practices daily giving, creating a ripple effect of happiness and positive change.

The talk concludes with a call to action for the audience to start their own lists of daily gives, contributing to a better and happier world.

Transcripts

Translator: Queenie Lee Reviewer: Peter van de Ven

I have what some consider to be one of the toughest jobs on the planet.

I am a mom.

(Cheers) (Applause)

Yes! Yes!

I am a parent to three very busy little boys

who magically think I'm a doctor,

a baker, a coach, a chef, a therapist

and have the patience of a saint 24/7.

I truly do my best

and some days are definitely better than others,

especially the part about having the patience of a saint.

I want what most parents want for my kids.

I want them to have a happy childhood.

I want them to be free to play,

build friendships, grow to be kind, compassionate, happy adults.

But there seems to be one small challenge.

The World Happiness Report states

at any one time

over 220 million children

and 1 billion adults

suffer from anxiety, depression, and conduct disorders.

Not exactly a pretty picture of happy people on a happy planet.

Unfortunately, as adults, whether you're a parent or not,

this is what our children are learning from us.

You see how busy we are every day.

They feel our stress,

and they watch us struggle to find our own happiness.

How do we go from anxiety and depression to happy?

Some good news.

The World Happiness Report also states

the best predictor of whether a child becomes a satisfied adult

is through their emotional health in childhood.

So if I have this right, it should be easy.

Happy children, happy adults, happy planet; yes.

(Laughter)

This is the exact lesson I learned from my dad.

When I was a little girl,

growing up in the big city of London, Ontario,

every Christmas morning

my dad would take my three sisters and I to his office.

You see my dad was a doctor and his office, a hospital.

It was our job to stand around the beds of his patients

and sing Christmas carols.

We started with the same song every time,

and my dad, he'd lead the singing.

Now, this is probably a TEDx first, so join me if you know it.

(Singing) We wish you a Merry Christmas; we wish you a Merry Christmas,

we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

(Stops singing)

(Cheers) (Applause)

You guys are amazing,

I am signing you all up for this year.

(Laughter)

And look at your smiles.

We did this every Christmas morning for years.

Those patients, they sing along with us,

just like you did.

And their smiles, their smiles would light up their hospital rooms.

This is what I learned from our singing.

Giving back to those patients,

it made them happy, and it made me happy.

And we've all heard

that giving makes you happy and it's better to give than receive.

But have you actually thought of why?

Well, researchers from all over the world

have been studying the science and psychology of giving.

They've discovered

that our brains and our bodies are actually hardwired for giving.

When we give, our endorphins kick in,

giving us this natural high feeling.

They've actually called it the "helper's high."

Our oxygen levels rise, this would be our love hormone.

And for those of you

that have been looking for the Fountain of Youth,

it's our body's natural anti-aging remedy.

And that feeling I got when I volunteer with my dad,

that's serotonin, our body's happy transmitter.

But here's the icing on the cake.

Our cortisol levels drop.

This is our stress hormone.

Giving reduces anxiety and stress and it makes us happy.

Now what if I told you,

you could be happy every day, and it's simple.

In fact, it's so simple a three-year-old can do it.

Well, on my first son Nick's third birthday,

I decided I was going to teach him how he could be happy every day.

I was going to teach Nick to give.

I introduced the idea over a birthday cake and ice cream:

"Nick, we are going to start this super-fun family project together.

We are going to give back to the world every day for one year."

Now I waited to see the excitement on his face -

that excitement that I was feeling -

and instead, he says, "Mommy, how many days are in a year?"

(Laughter)

Oh yeah, not exactly the response I was looking for,

but Nick was just three.

I had to approach this daily giving idea a little differently.

Still, I got out some craft paper and a big box of crayons,

and I started again:

"Nick, we're going to do one thing to be kind, helpful, giving

to a person, an animal, or the planet

every day for 365 days."

Now, when I shared this idea with friends and the family,

they thought I was being, shall we say, a little ambitious.

I was going to give back to the world every day for 365 days

with a three-year-old.

I agreed, it seemed like a lot,

but not when you start small, just one give, one day at a time.

Nick and I started a list, just to get us going,

had to be easy and close to home.

Donate towels and blankets for a local animal shelter,

pick up garbage, recycle,

give clothes to a favorite charity; and our list went on.

Well, Nick quickly caught on,

and now he was excited.

He was actually so excited

he wanted to start that day, on his birthday.

So, first stop,

down at the local animal shelter to donate towels and blankets.

When we walked into that shelter

you instantly got hit

by this smell of somewhere between wet dog and disinfectant.

We could hear dogs barking.

I knew they were locked in cages; they were behind a closed door.

Nick handed our towels and blankets over to the nice lady behind the desk.

She gave us a big smile and she thanked us for our donation.

Well, as we turned to leave,

Nick noticed two big glass doors that led into a room filled with cats.

He went up to that glass and he peered in,

and then he turned to me and said,

"Mommy, can you see those cats sleeping on that red blanket back there.

Will our blankets be for those cats?"

He turned to the nice lady behind the desk and she said, "You bet."

You'd just see Nick's little brain going.

He was making the connection

that his daily give was going to help those cats.

Nick learned that very first day,

as he turned to me and he smiled and he said,

"Awesome, Mom,"

that giving made him happy.

Day two, down at the beach for a little fun in the sun and a game:

how much garbage could we pick up in three minutes or less

because that was the attention span of my three-year-old.

(Laughter)

Day three, we took that garbage and we sorted it.

At the ripe old age of three, Nick learned to recycle.

Well, daily giving quickly became a routine for Nick,

just like kind of brushing his teeth.

Well, actually come to think of it,

it would be easier to teach a three-year-old to give every day

than it is to brush their teeth every day, for sure.

Nick asked if we could share our daily giving adventures

with our friends and family,

so they could follow along.

So that very first day

I started a blog and I called it 365give.

Now, just so you know,

I am not a writer or some social media guru,

so you can imagine how surprised I was

when people started reading the blog other than my friends and family.

They started reading and engaging from all over the world.

They send me emails and leave comments with their daily giving stories

because they were inspired by Nick.

Actually, I was so excited I'm going to share just a few with you today.

So, Henry from London, England, wrote:

"I walk past the same homeless man every day on my way to work.

Today I brought him breakfast,

he was so grateful I stopped,

it's going to be my daily give every day from now on."

Arwoney from Lira, Uganda:

"I took four children that live on a street near my home to lunch today.

The children were so happy to have a meal,

and for the first time in a long time they felt like somebody cared."

Amy from Australia:

"I'm a grade four teacher,

and I started 365give, a daily giving practice, in my classroom."

Well, this one - this one took me by surprise.

Could you really teach 365give in a classroom?

I didn't know, I was just a mom.

But as fate has it,

I get a call from my good friend Sarah.

She's a local elementary school teacher

and she says, "Jacqueline,

I want to take the 365give concept into my classroom.

Actually, my entire school."

Well, we were both so excited, we went to work.

We created an educational program,

a tool for teachers that integrates a simple daily giving practice

with their curriculum,

we called it the 365give challenge.

It's unique

because it's powered by the kids.

They choose how they're going to give,

support causes and impact the world in ways that they choose.

We started in Sarah's school,

and I actually couldn't wait to hear how the kids were going to give.

A few weeks into the challenge,

I went down

and I met with a grade two class, seven-year-old kids.

When I walked into that classroom,

I'm not sure who was more excited,

me or the kids.

First up was Arman,

he waved his hand frantically,

he just couldn't wait to tell me

all about the fresh-baked cookies they had made

and delivered to their local firehouse.

They want to thank the firefighters for all they did in their community.

Arman was just beaming with pride.

Next up was Mia.

Well, Mia's little cousin had suffered from cancer that year,

and the kids, the entire class,

they decided they were going to do a popcorn sale, right at school.

They raised 252 dollars, over recess,

and they donated it to a charity that supports kids with cancer.

But this is the part that just about had me in tears

because I could never have dreamed

that my super fun family project with my son

could cause a ripple to so many.

And it's what their teacher, Mrs.Story, said to me,

"Jacqueline, my kids

are understanding how their actions can make a better world.

It's connected them to each other and their community,

and most importantly, it's making my classroom happy."

The 365give challenge has now touched over 5,000 children in 25 schools,

and we have only just begun.

(Cheers) (Applause)

Thank you.

(Cheers) (Applause)

The kids are sharing their daily giving stories with other kids,

and it's creating a ripple

into their families, their communities, and around the world.

The challenge was created for kids, but it's actually for all of us,

doesn't matter where you live, what you do or how old you are.

Just imagine if we all did it.

It started with just one child giving every day,

that's 365 daily gives.

We shared, and it's rippled to right here,

with all of you.

Now, let's take everybody in this room,

over 2,000 people, times 365 daily gives,

that is over 700,000 daily gives.

It's no longer just one child giving every day,

but each and every one of us

creating a better world, a happier world,

and it's so simple a three-year-old can do it.

It's a daily habit, just like brushing your teeth.

Start your list today,

take a look at your life, your world, your family, your day,

do what works for you.

Donate, volunteer, help a neighbor, be kind to a stranger.

This is how we're going to go from anxiety and depression to happy.

Together, we can all start small,

and we can make the world a better world, a happier world,

one give, one day at a time.

(Applause) (Cheers)

Yes! Yes!