Big Think Interview with Tal Ben-Shahar | Big Think

Summary

El guion del video ofrece una visión profunda de la psicología positiva, enfocándose en el fortalecimiento de lo que funciona en la vida, en lugar de enfocarse únicamente en los problemas. Tal Ben-Shahar, un destacado exponente del campo, discute la importancia de enfocarse en las fortalezas y la felicidad para abordar indirectamente los desafíos y dificultades. Destaca la relevancia del autoapoyo y la responsabilidad personal en la búsqueda de la felicidad, y cómo la simplificación y la aceptación de emociones dolorosas pueden contribuir a un bienestar mayor. Además, explora cómo la felicidad puede ser cultivada en el ámbito personal, profesional y educativo, y cómo el fracaso y la adversidad pueden ser lecciones valiosas para el crecimiento personal.

Takeaways

• 🌟 La psicología positiva se enfoca en lo que funciona en la vida, en lugar de solo observar problemas como la esquizofrenia, la depresión o la ansiedad.
• 🔧 La práctica de la psicología positiva implica cuestionar primero qué está funcionando bien en la vida de una persona, en lugar de enfocarse solo en los problemas.
• 👨‍🏫 Los pioneros de la psicología positiva incluyen a Aristóteles, quien habló sobre el eudaemonismo, y más recientemente a Abraham Maslow y Martin Seligman, quien es considerado el padre fundador del campo.
• 👂 No todos necesitan ver a un psicólogo positivo, pero aprender sobre el campo puede ser beneficioso para mejorar la felicidad y las relaciones personales.
• 💪 La investigación en psicología positiva muestra que enfocarse en las fortalezas y la felicidad de las personas también los ayuda indirectamente a lidiar con dificultades y desafíos.
• 📚 La autoayuda, que incluye la escritura, enseñanza y libros del entrevistado, es vista como una forma de cultivar carácter y trabajar duro hacia el éxito y bienestar.
• 🚫 Algunos libros de autoayuda ofrecen soluciones rápidas y poco realistas, lo que contribuye al estigma de la autoayuda, pero no todos merecen esta percepción negativa.
• 📚 Los clásicos de la autoayuda, como el libro 'Self-Help' de Samuel Smiles, enfatizan el trabajo duro y el cultivo del carácter.
• 🎨 La felicidad no es la única meta en la vida, pero es parte inherente de la naturaleza humana y se considera un derecho autoevidente, como lo mencionó la Declaración de Independencia de EE. UU.
• 🤔 Los artistas que experimentan emociones dolorosas a veces logran una gran obra, lo que indica que las emociones negativas pueden ser parte integral del crecimiento y la creatividad.
• 🏢 Las empresas pueden beneficiarse de la teoría de la psicología positiva al promover la creatividad, la motivación y la lealtad en el lugar de trabajo al permitir que los empleados fallen y tengan espacios de recuperación.

Q & A

¿Qué distingue al campo de la psicología positiva?

La psicología positiva se centra en lo que funciona, examinando aspectos de la vida positivas como el amor, la felicidad, la alegría, la satisfacción laboral, etc., en lugar de enfocarse únicamente en trastornos como la esquizofrenia, la depresión o la ansiedad.

¿Quiénes son los pioneros en el campo de la psicología positiva?

El pionero más temprano fue Aristóteles, quien habló sobre la eudaimonia o el florecimiento. Más recientemente, Abraham Maslow mencionó explícitamente la psicología positiva en 1954, y se considera a Martin Seligman como el padre fundador del campo en 1998.

¿Debería cada persona asistir a un psicólogo positivo?

No es realista ni necesario que todas las personas busquen la ayuda de un psicólogo positivo, pero se recomienda que todos aprendan sobre este campo para mejorar su felicidad, relaciones y crianza de hijos más saludables y felices.

¿Cuál ha sido el hallazgo más sorprendente en la investigación de psicología positiva?

La investigación reciente muestra que al centrarse en las fortalezas de las personas y cultivar su felicidad, también se ayuda indirectamente a lidiar con dificultades y problemas, como la ansiedad, sin necesidad de abordarlos directamente.

¿Considera usted su trabajo y sus libros como autoayuda?

Sí, veo mis libros, mis escritos, mi enseñanza como autoayuda en el sentido tradicional, que se trata de aplicarse a sí mismo, cultivar el carácter y trabajar duro hacia la auto-cultivación y el bienestar.

¿Es particularmente importante la autoayuda hoy en día?

Tomar responsabilidad por nuestra propia vida y felicidad es crítico, especialmente en tiempos difíciles, y la felicidad solo puede provenir de dentro, por lo que debemos ayudarnos a nosotros mismos.

¿El autoayuda merece alguna de la estigmatización asociada con él?

Sí, muchos libros de autoayuda ofrecen soluciones rápidas y no cumplen con lo prometido, lo que genera una estigmatización parcialmente merecida, pero no todos los libros son así.

¿Cuál considera un libro de autoayuda clásico?

Un libro clásico de autoayuda es 'Self-Help' de Samuel Smiles, que trata sobre el trabajo duro y el cultivo del carácter. También se mencionan libros de Stephen Covey y Marty Seligman, basados en investigación rigurosa y evidencia empírica.

¿Es la felicidad la más alta realización que un humano puede alcanzar?

La felicidad no es necesariamente la más alta realización, pero es algo que todos buscamos por naturaleza, ya que estamos constituidos para evitar el dolor y buscar el placer.

¿Qué piensa sobre artistas que están deprimidos pero crean obras grandes?

Las emociones dolorosas tienen un lugar importante y pueden llevar a aprendizajes importantes y crecimiento personal. Muchos de los más exitosos, incluidos artistas, han sido también aquellos que han fracasado más veces, lo que indica que las personas más felices permiten experimentar el amplio espectro de emociones humanas.

¿Es la psicología de la felicidad una excusa para que los gobiernos ignoren las preocupaciones de los ciudadanos por bienes materiales?

La riqueza material no está correlacionada con la felicidad, excepto en casos extremos. Lo importante es brindar libertades y permitir a las personas perseguir su felicidad, que es un derecho, no una garantía de felicidad.

¿Los espacios públicos como Facebook y Twitter complican el optimismo?

Es importante tener privacidad y tiempo para la reflexión personal, sin preocuparse por cómo se ve en redes sociales. Aunque también hay beneficios en las redes sociales, como mantenerse en contacto con personas importantes.

¿Cuáles son los obstáculos más comunes para la felicidad?

Muchos piensan que los expectativas altas son el problema, pero en realidad, es tener expectativas equivocadas. Las expectativas correctas, como pasar más tiempo con seres queridos y ser más agradecido, nos harán más felices.

¿Qué pueden hacer las personas cada día para ser más felices?

Aceptar las emociones dolorosas, pasar tiempo de calidad con amigos y familia, hacer ejercicio físico regularmente, y cultivar la gratitud son algunas de las acciones que pueden aumentar la felicidad.

¿Cómo se puede cultivar la gratitud?

Mantener un diario de gratitud, escribiendo al menos cinco cosas por las que se siente agradecido antes de dormir, puede mejorar significativamente los niveles de felicidad y otras áreas de la vida.

¿Qué técnicas de felicidad son especialmente importantes en el mundo de hoy?

Simplificar la vida, tomar tiempo para descansar y recrearse, y tener espacios de tiempo afuera de las redes sociales y el correo electrónico son algunas de las técnicas importantes para mejorar la felicidad y la productividad.

¿Cómo se puede redescubrir la felicidad después de una tragedia?

Permitirse ser humano, expresar las emociones y dar tiempo al proceso de curación es fundamental para superar una tragedia y eventualmente experimentar crecimiento postraumático.

¿Es posible que un trauma lleve a un crecimiento en la felicidad?

Sí, el crecimiento postraumático es posible cuando se permite experimentar las emociones, se busca un significado en el evento y se comparten las experiencias abiertamente.

¿Cómo consolar a alguien con mala suerte que siente que tiene derecho a ser infeliz?

La creatividad y la actitud positiva pueden influir en la 'suerte'. Aprender a ser más abierto a las oportunidades y creer en la suerte puede aumentar las posibilidades de eventos fortuitos positivos.

¿Cómo defendería a una persona que no tiene éxito pero está feliz?

La felicidad es la moneda final y el objetivo de todas las demás metas. Si hacer algo no nos hace felices, entonces no vale la pena hacerlo, y es mejor encontrar algo que sea significativo y placentero para uno mismo.

¿Cómo pueden las corporaciones emplear teorías de psicología positiva de manera beneficiosa?

Las corporaciones pueden fomentar la felicidad al permitir el fracaso en áreas seguras para el aprendizaje y al dar espacio de recuperación para la creatividad y la innovación.

¿Qué consejo laboral le dio a usted lo que consideró mejor?

El mejor consejo fue enfocarse en las cosas que realmente se quiere hacer, identificar aquellas que se apasionan y actuar en consecuencia, ya que la vida es corta para hacer lo que se 'tienen que' hacer.

¿Cuál es la importancia del fracaso?

El fracaso es fundamental para el aprendizaje y el crecimiento personal, y es a través de él que se adquiere resiliencia y se llega al éxito.

¿Algún personaje histórico ha ejemplificado el concepto de fracasar bien?

Thomas Edison, con más de 1,000 patentes y un enfoque positivo hacia sus 'fracasos', es un claro ejemplo de cómo el fracaso puede ser un camino hacia el éxito.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Introducción a la Psicología Positiva

Tal Ben-Shahar describe la psicología positiva como un enfoque en lo que funciona en la vida, en contraste con la psicología tradicional que se centra en trastornos como la esquizofrenia, la depresión y la ansiedad. La psicología positiva, en cambio, examina aspectos como el amor, la felicidad y la satisfacción laboral. Además, promueve el enfoque en las fortalezas y virtudes de las personas y las organizaciones, en lugar de solo en los problemas. Se mencionan a Aristóteles, Abraham Maslow y Martin Seligman como pioneros en este campo.

05:04

🤔 ¿Necesitamos un psicólogo positivo?

Ben-Shahar opina que no es realista ni necesario que todos consulten a un psicólogo positivo, pero sí recomendaría que todos aprendan sobre esta área de la psicología, dado que la investigación en este campo puede mejorar la felicidad, las relaciones y la crianza de hijos más saludables. También destaca la importancia de enfocarse en las fortalezas para abordar indirectamente problemas como la ansiedad.

10:07

📚 Consideraciones sobre la Autoayuda

El autor considera que su trabajo, incluyendo sus libros y enseñanzas, es una forma de autoayuda en el sentido tradicional, que promueve el cultivo del carácter y el esfuerzo personal hacia el éxito y el bienestar. Argumenta que la responsabilidad por nuestra propia felicidad es fundamental y que la felicidad proviene de adentro, no de afuera. Ben-Shahar también critica la promesa de soluciones rápidas y faciles en la literatura de autoayuda moderna, que a menudo no cumple con lo prometido.

15:09

🎨 La Emoción y la Creatividad en el Arte

Tal Ben-Shahar reconoce el lugar de las emociones dolorosas, como la depresión, en la creatividad y la producción de grandes obras artísticas. Critica la tendencia de 'medicar' las emociones dolorosas, argumentando que estas pueden llevar a aprendizajes importantes y crecimiento personal. La investigación muestra que las personas más exitosas a menudo son aquellas que han experimentado el mayor número de fracasos, sugiriendo que el fracaso y el dolor son parte integral de la vida y del éxito.

20:11

💔 La Felicidad y la Tragedia

El experto en psicología positiva enfatiza la importancia de aceptar las emociones dolorosas como parte de la vida. Sugiere que los individuos que experimentan tragedias pueden sanar y encontrar felicidad允许 a través de la expresión emocional y el permiso para ser humanos, en lugar de reprimir sus emociones. La felicidad puede surgir incluso después de eventos traumáticos, a través del crecimiento postraumático, que ocurre cuando se abordan y se interpretan los eventos con el tiempo.

25:11

💼 Aplicaciones de la Psicología Positiva en las Corporaciones

Ben-Shahar argumenta que las empresas del siglo XXI deben entender que la felicidad tiene un valor monetario, ya que las emociones positivas aumentan la creatividad, la motivación y la lealtad en el lugar de trabajo. Las organizaciones deben fomentar el espacio para el fracaso y el tiempo de recuperación, lo que a largo plazo contribuirá a la innovación, productividad y felicidad de los empleados.

👫 El Amor Óptimo y las Ilusiones del Amor

El amor óptimo, según Ben-Shahar, implica un crecimiento continuo dentro de la relación, con un aumento de intimidad y significado. Desmiente la ilusión de que las relaciones saludables están exentas de conflicto, señalando que el conflicto es parte integral de una relación saludable y puede ser un punto de crecimiento si se aborda adecuadamente.

🏫 Psicología Positiva en la Educación

Tal Ben-Shahar se preocupa por el futuro de la educación y cómo introducir un sentido de propósito y bienestar en los estudiantes, muchos de los cuales experimentan un vacío existencial. Defiende la idea de que se debe enseñar una curricular de felicidad desde temprana edad hasta la vejez, ya que la felicidad es un viaje que se puede mejorar a lo largo de toda la vida.

🛣️ Consejos de Carrera y el Valor del Fracaso

El mejor consejo de carrera que recibió Ben-Shahar fue de su maestro de filosofía, quien le aconsejó enfocarse en las actividades que realmente deseaba hacer y proceder con las que más pasión le daban. En cuanto al fracaso, Ben-Shahar lo considera una parte esencial del aprendizaje y el crecimiento personal, y desea a sus alumnos que fallen más a menudo para que puedan aprender mejor. Ejemplos históricos de personas que han fracasado bien, como Thomas Edison, demuestran que el fracaso es parte del camino hacia el éxito.

Keywords

💡Psicología Positiva

La Psicología Positiva es un enfoque dentro de la psicología que se centra en el estudio de lo que funciona, en lugar de enfocarse únicamente en los trastornos y problemas. En el video, se destaca cómo esta disciplina examina aspectos como el amor, la felicidad, la alegría y la satisfacción laboral, en contraposición a la mayoría de la investigación psicológica que se centra en problemas como la esquizofrenia, la depresión y la ansiedad.

💡Fuerzas

En el contexto de la Psicología Positiva, las fuerzas se refieren a las habilidades y cualidades personales que pueden ser cultivadas para mejorar la vida de una persona. Tal Ben-Shahar menciona que, al enfocarnos en las fuerzas de las personas y cultivar su felicidad, también estamos ayudando indirectamente a manejar dificultades y desafíos.

💡Autoayuda

La autoayuda es un concepto que abarca la idea de que los individuos pueden y deben trabajar en su propio crecimiento y bienestar. En el video, Tal Ben-Shahar ve su trabajo, incluyendo sus libros y enseñanzas, como una forma de autoayuda, que promueve la auto-cultivación y el trabajo duro hacia el éxito y el bienestar.

💡Felicidad

La felicidad es un tema central en la Psicología Positiva y en el video. Se discute cómo la felicidad no es un estado que se alcanza por obra de factores externos, sino que proviene de adentro, y cómo la investigación sugiere que la felicidad puede ser cultivada a través de la aceptación de emociones negativas y la realización de actividades que promuevan el bienestar, como el ejercicio físico y la gratitud.

💡Eudaimonia

La eudaimonia, un término griego que se traduce como 'florecimiento', se menciona como un concepto precursor de la Psicología Positiva, discutido por Aristóteles. Se refiere a una vida plena y significativa, en lugar de simplemente una vida placentera, y es una meta que se busca en la Psicología Positiva.

💡Aristóteles

Aristóteles es considerado uno de los pioneros de la Psicología Positiva por su trabajo sobre la eudaimonia. En el video, se destaca cómo su enfoque en el florecimiento humano influye en la comprensión moderna del bienestar y la felicidad.

💡Mistakes

El concepto de 'mistakes' o 'errores' es fundamental en la Psicología Positiva, donde se ve al fracaso como una oportunidad de aprendizaje y crecimiento. Tal Ben-Shahar enfatiza la importancia de aprender a fallar para tener un aprendizaje profundo y desarrollar resiliencia.

💡Autoexpresión

La autoexpresión se refiere a la capacidad de una persona para comunicar sus pensamientos y emociones de manera auténtica. En el video, se menciona cómo la autoexpresión es clave para el crecimiento personal y cómo, al permitirse sentir una amplia gama de emociones, se abre la puerta a la felicidad y a la creatividad.

💡Gratitud

La gratitud es presentada como un hábito que puede aumentar significativamente los niveles de felicidad. Se menciona en el video que mantener un diario de gratitud, anotando al menos cinco cosas por las que se siente agradecido cada noche, puede tener efectos positivos en la salud física y el bienestar emocional.

💡Optimismo

El optimismo es una actitud que se promueve en la Psicología Positiva y que se relaciona con la capacidad de ver el lado positivo de las situaciones y creer en la posibilidad de un futuro mejor. En el video, se discute cómo el optimismo aprendido puede ser un componente clave del bienestar y el éxito.

💡Cultivo de la Afectividad

El cultivo de la afectividad se refiere a la práctica de fomentar las emociones positivas y las relaciones significativas en la vida de una persona. En el video, se sugiere que al cultivar el lado positivo de las relaciones, indirectamente se pueden mejorar también los aspectos negativos.

💡Liderazgo

El liderazgo es mencionado en el contexto de la autoayuda y la mejora personal. Aunque no se discute extensamente en el video, se puede inferir que el liderazgo efectivo puede ser un resultado de aplicar los principios de la Psicología Positiva, como la autoconfianza y la capacidad de inspirar a otros.

💡Educación

La educación se presenta como un área clave para la implementación de la Psicología Positiva, especialmente en la enseñanza de habilidades para el bienestar y la felicidad a lo largo de toda la vida. En el video, se discute la importancia de introducir un currículo de felicidad desde temprana edad y la necesidad de abordar la vacío existencial que experimentan muchos estudiantes.

Highlights

Positive psychology focuses on what works in life, including love, happiness, joy, and job satisfaction.

In therapy, positive psychologists ask about what is working well before addressing what is not.

A positive psychologist in a company would first identify strengths and virtues before tackling problems.

Aristotle, Maslow, and Martin Seligman are pioneers in the field of positive psychology.

Learning about positive psychology can help improve happiness, relationships, and child-rearing.

Focusing on strengths and happiness can indirectly help deal with hardships and difficulties.

Tal Ben-Shahar views his work as self-help aimed at self-cultivation and well-being.

Self-help is important, especially during difficult times, as it encourages personal responsibility for happiness.

Some stigma associated with self-help is deserved due to overpromising quick fixes.

Classic self-help books emphasize hard work and character cultivation, like Samuel Smiles' 'Self-Help'.

Happiness is a natural human pursuit, but not necessarily the highest accomplishment.

Painful emotions can lead to important learning and growth, and are part of a successful life.

Material affluence does not correlate with happiness except in extreme cases of need.

Privacy and solitude are important for personal growth, despite the benefits of social networks.

Accepting painful emotions is the first step to becoming happier.

Quality time with loved ones, physical exercise, and gratitude are predictors of well-being.

Simplifying life, such as taking breaks from technology, can improve productivity and happiness.

Post-traumatic growth is possible by allowing oneself to experience emotions and seeking meaning.

Learned characteristics can increase luck, such as being open to opportunities and trying new things.

Happiness is the ultimate goal of all other pursuits, and should be the focus of career and life choices.

Corporations can benefit from positive psychology by fostering environments that allow for failure and recovery.

Conflict is a natural part of healthy relationships and can be an opportunity for growth.

Tal Ben-Shahar emphasizes the importance of teaching happiness and well-being at all stages of life.

The best career advice is to identify and pursue what you truly want to do, as life is too short to do otherwise.

Failure is crucial for deep learning, resilience, and ultimately, success.

Historical figures like Thomas Edison exemplify the concept of learning from failure and using it as a stepping stone to success.

Transcripts

Question: What distinguishes the field of positive psychology?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Positive psychology essentially focuses on what works.

So it applies to research; most research in psychology looks at schizophrenia, depression,

anxiety; whereas, positive psychology says let's look at the things that work in life.

Let's look at love, let's look at happiness, let's look at joy, job satisfaction, and so

on.

Positive psychology also focuses on what works when it comes to practice.

So for instance, a therapist, the first implicit or explicit question that he or she would

ask, the client would be what's wrong, what's not working in your life.

A positive psychologist would first ask what is working, what is going well in your life

and then build on that and then deal with what is not working based on what is working.

Same in organizations; a consultant would usually ask what's the problem in your organization,

what do we need to improve.

A positive psychologist coming in to a company would first ask what is working well in their

organization, what are the companies strengths, what are the virtues and then build on that.

Question: Who were the pioneers in the field?

Tal Ben-Shahar: The earliest pioneer of positive psychology was probably Aristotle, who talked

about eudaimonia or flourishing.

More recently, the first time it was explicitly mentioned in literature was by Abraham Maslow,

who in 1954 wrote a chapter on toward a positive psychology.

Then the father of positive psychology, more recently, is Martin Seligman from the University

of Pennsylvania, who in 1998, when he was the president of the American Psychological

Association, essentially founded the field, creating a network of scholars that would

focus, that would research what works.

Question: Should everyone be seeing a positive psychologist?

Tal Ben-Shahar: I don't think it's realistic that everyone goes to a Positive Psychologist

nor do I think it's necessary.

I do, however, recommend that all people learn about this field because there is some fascinating

research being done in this area that can help people become happier, that can help

them improve their relationship, that can aide them in raising healthier, happier, flourishing

children.

Question: What has been the most surprising finding in your positive psychology research?

Tal Ben-Shahar: What research has shown recently is that when we focus on people's strengths,

when we cultivate their happiness, we're actually indirectly also helping them deal with hardships

and difficulties.

So it's not necessary to go to dealing with anxiety directly, we can focus on strength

and that will indirectly help people deal with anxiety.

We don't need to directly go to problematic areas within relationships.

It's when we cultivate the positive in a relationship that inavertinely indirectly also the negatives

fall by the wayside.

So positive psychology helps directly becoming happier and also indirectly in helping us

overcome, helping us deal with difficulties and hardships.

Question: Do you consider your work and your books self-help?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Okay.

I most certainly see my books, my writing, my teaching as self-help.

Self-help in the traditional sense.

Self-help was, to a great extent, about applying yourself, about cultivating character, about

working hard toward self-cultivation, toward more success and well-being.

And this is what I attempt to do through my teachings.

Question: Do you think self-help is particularly important today?

Tal Ben-Shahar: I believe that taking responsibility for one's life, for one's happiness is critical.

It's critical at any time; it's especially important during difficult times and the misunderstanding

that many people have about happiness and joy is that it can come somehow from the outside;

whereas, more and more research, more and more experiences, suggest that it can only

come from within.

Another words we need to help ourselves.

Question: Does self-help work deserve any of the stigma associated with it?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Yeah.

Many of the self-help books today offer quick fixes so the five steps to happiness, the

three things you need to do in order to become the great partner or leader, the one secret

of life flourishing and success.

This is over promising and under delivering.

There is no quick fix or at least I haven't found the quick fix.

Improving, growing, flourishing is about hard work.

So some of the stigma that is associated with the self-help literature today, some of it,

not all, is well deserved.

Question: What do you consider a classic self-help book?

Tal Ben-Shahar: The classic self-help book is by Samuel Smiles, a 19th century British

writer who wrote a book called Self-Help.

This is about hard work.

It's about cultivating your character.

More recently, very good self-help books that have been written would be Stephen Covey's,

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Marty Seligman's book on Learned Optimism and **** books on mindfulness and so on.

And it's mostly today books written by ecodemics who do rigorous research or rely on imperical

evidence.

Question: Is happiness the highest accomplishment a human can achieve?

Tal Ben-Shahar: I don't think it's the highest thing that any human can achieve, but I think

it's something that we all strive for by virtue of our nature.

Whether we want to or not we can call it, run away from pain and pursue pleasure.

We can call it a sense of meaning, but all these elements eventually lead up to happiness.

We're so constituted that we pursue happiness.

It's no coincidence that the founding fathers put the pursuit of happiness as one of the

self-evident rights.

It's part of our nature.

Question: What about artists who are depressed but create great work?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Yeah?

Okay.

Because I think it's relevant here.

There is certainly place, an important place, for painful emotions.

So for example one of the trends today -- one of the quick fixes -- is trying to medicate

away every painful emotion that we or our children students may have.

I think this hurts individuals.

I think it hurts our society as a whole.

Painful emotions can lead to important learning, painful emotions can be to grow, failure can

lead to important learning and growth.

That should be and usually is part of any life and certainly a successful life.

In fact, there is a lot of research showing that the most successful people in the world,

whether it's scientists or artists are also the people who have failed the most times.

It shows that ultimately the happiest people are actually people who allow themselves to

experience the full gamits of human emotions, not people who suppress or somehow get rid

of painful emotions when these arise.

Also painful emotions, at times, lead us to creativity.

While there is research showing that we tend to be more creative when we're in a positive

mood and we tend to be more passive when in a negative mood.

We can also be highly creative and there are many examples of highly creative people who

were depressed or anxious and generally unhappy.

Being human is about having the whole range, the full range of emotions.

Question: Is happiness psychology an excuse for governments to ignore citizens’ concerns

for material goods?

Tal Ben-Shahar: What psychologists have shown is that material affluence is not correlated

with happiness except for in extreme cases.

So if a person's basic needs are not met -- food, shelter, basic education -- then that certainly

affects their levels of happiness.

If someone doesn't have individual freedoms under a dictatorship, then that person's happiness

will certainly be influenced.

So there are certain things that society can do, mostly by giving freedom, by allowing

people to pursue their happiness.

You know, the Declaration of Independence doesn't say that we have the right to happiness;

it says that we have the right to pursue happiness.

And that's a very smart political, as well as psychological, statement.

Question: Do public venues like Facebook and Twitter complicate optimalism?

Tal Ben-Shahar: I think that generally there is a problem with being out there all the

time.

We also need our bits of solitude.

Some people, the introverts, need it more than others, the extroverts.

But we all need it and it's important to have a private life by externalising everything

that we do and we think about -- I think we're hurting some of our potential for growth.

We learn, we grow, we develop when we're reflecting and when we are reflecting without thinking

about how this is going to look on Facebook or Twitter or on our blog.

So I think there is place for privacy, which we are to some extent losing.

Having said that, there is also much benefit with being -- with the social networks.

With more in touch with other people; meeting someone you went to school with in third grade,

thanks to Facebook.

I mean, that's a wonderful thing.

Question: What are the most common barriers to happiness?

Tal Ben-Shahar: What many people think is that the problem lies with having too high

expectations, so if we lower our expectations we will not be disappointed, hence we'll be

happier.

The problem, though, as a lot of research suggests, is not with high expectations versus

low expectations.

The issue is wrong expectations versus right expectations.

Many people have the expectation that getting that next raise or buying that bigger car

or getting the promotion will make them happier, where, in fact, it does lead to more happiness,

but only for the short-term.

There is only a spike in ones base level of well-being.

So people who have these expectations that the achievement of the external will make

them happier will inevitably be disappointed unhappy.

The issue is having the right expectations.

If our expectations are that more time with our family and friends, being more physically

active, being more grateful for what we do and what we have; if our expectations are

that these things will make us happier, then we have the right expectations and we will

in fact become happier.

Question: What can people do each day to be happier?

Tal Ben-Shahar: The first thing to do to become happier, paradoxically, is to accept painful

emotions, to accept them as a part of being alive.

You know, there are two kinds of people who don't experience painful emotions such as

anxiety or disappointment, sadness, envy; two kinds of people who don't experience these

painful emotions.

They are the psychopaths and the dead.

So if we experience painful emotions at time, it's actually a good sign.

It means that we're not a psychopath and we're alive.

The paradox is that when we give ourselves the permission to be human, the permission

to experience the full gamut of human emotion.

We open ourselves up to positive emotions as well.

Question: Are there specific things people can do?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Then I think -- yeah.

Some specific examples, exactly.

The number one predictor of well-being of happiness is time, quality time, we spend

with our family, friends, people we care about and who care about us.

In our modern world, unfortunately this quality time is erroding.

A very good predictor of well-being is what psychologist Tim Kasser calls time affluence.

Time affluence is the thing that we have time to sit down and chat with our friends while

-- not while being on the phone at the same time or text messaging at the same time, being

with that person.

This is a better predictor.

Physical exercise contributes a great deal to happiness; in fact, there is research showing

that regular exercise, three times a week for 30 to 40 minutes of aerobic exercise,

could be jogging or walking or aerobics or dancing, three times a week of 30 to 40 minutes

of exercise is equivalent to some of our most powerful psychiatric drugs in dealing with

depression or sadness or anxiety.

We've become a sedentary culture where we park our car next to our workplace or take

the train and we don't walk like our fore parents used to.

Thousands of years ago our fore parents walked an average of eight miles a day.

How far do we walk today?

Well it depends on where we park our car.

And we pay a high price for it because we weren't made to be to sedentary.

We were made to be physically active.

Question: How can we cultivate gratitude?

Tal Ben-Shahar: There are treasures of happiness all around us and within us.

The problem is that we only appreciate them when something terrible happens.

Usually when we become sick, we appreciate our health.

When we lose someone dear to us, we appreciate our life.

And we don't need to wait.

If we cultivate the habit of gratitude we can significantly increase our levels of happiness.

So, for example, research by Robert **** and Mike McAuliffe shows that people who keep

a gratitude journal, who each night before going to sleep write at least five things

for which they are grateful, big things or little things, are happier, more optimistic,

more successful, more likely to achieve their goals, physically healthier; it actually strengthens

our immune system, and are more generous and benevolent toward others.

This is an intervention that takes three minutes a day with significant positive ramifications.

Question: What happiness techniques are particularly important in today’s world?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Okay.

Sorry.

One of the most important things that we can do in our modern world is to simplify, to

do less rather than more.

The problem is that we try and cram more and more things into less and less time, and we

pay a price.

We pay a price in terms of the quality of the work that we do.

We also pay a price in terms of the quality of relationships that we enjoy.

So doing less -- for example, switching our phone off for three hours when we get home,

or not responding to every e-mail as it arrives, having what I call e-mail-free zones -- these

little things, simplifying our lives even slightly, can make a significant difference

to our productivity as well as happiness.

Question: How can you rediscover happiness after a tragedy?

Tal Ben-Shahar: It's very difficult to talk about or think about happiness when one has

experienced tragedy.

In fact, when people actually break down, when they give themselves the permission to

be human whether it's by crying or sharing their emotions with others; when they break

down they're actually much more likely to get over their tragedy.

Whereas people who said, "Okay.

I'm going to pull through this.

I'm going to be strong, I'm not going to let these emotions take over me."

They're actually people who would struggle for much longer periods of time after the

tragedy has occurred.

We need to give our mind, our body, our emotions, a time to heal.

That's when the natural healer kicks in, when we let it take its course rather than suppress

it.

Question: Can a trauma lead to growth in happiness?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Many people talk about PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder, which is quite

common whether after 9/11 or people coming back from Afghanistan or Iraq; however, very

few people talk about post traumatic growth, which potentially is more common than PTSD.

Post traumatic growth comes about when we give ourselves the permission to be human,

when we allow oursevles to experience the emotions.

It comes when we interpret or reinterpret the event and look for, actively look for

a meaning in what had just happened to us.

It comes when we share our experiences, when we open up rather than close down.

So it is possible to experience post traumatic growth.

It's possible for many more people who have gone through trauma, who have gone through

difficult experiences to experience growth as a result.

This is the power of positive psychology, of research, because what psychologists know

today is what we can do, what we can actively do to experience more growth following hardship.

Question: How do you console those with bad luck that feel a right to be unhappy?

Tal Ben-Shahar: There is actually very interesting research about luck by Richard Wiseman, who

is a British psychologist.

And what he shows is that there are actually certain characteristics that can be learned

and can be taught associated with lucky people.

So it's things like being more open to opportunities, little things like trying new things, whether

it's walking back home using a different route every day, or varying one's menu.

And it's also people who believe in luck who end up having more luck.

So he created a luck school, teaching people how to become luckier.

And it works.

Question: How would you defend an unsuccessful yet happy person?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Yeah.

The ultimate currency is happiness.

It's the end toward which all others -- the ultimate currency is happiness.

It's the end, in the words of Aristotle, toward which all other goals lead.

Why do we want to be successful?

Because we believe that it will make us happier.

Why do we want more money?

Because we believe that it would make us happier.

And if working hard at a certain profession or certain area does not make us happier,

but it will make us more successful, then why bother?

And ideally, what we want to find is something that is personally meaningful to us, something

that we experience as pleasurable, and then pursue it.

And then we can have the best of both worlds; we can be successful as well as happy.

But the key to that is to also enjoy the process, the journey, toward that success, because

success in and of itself cannot, will not, make us happier.

Question: Can corporations beneficially employ theories of positive psychology?

Tal Ben-Shahar: What corporations, certainly in the 21st century, need to come to terms

with is the fact that happiness pays.

Meaning positive emotions actually lead to more creativity, they lead to more motivation;

and they lead to more loyalty for the workplace.

And in the 21st century an organization that is not creative, that does not have innovation

as one of its basic pillars, cannot thrive in the long haul.

Question: What specifically can a corporation do to promote happiness?

Tal Ben-Shahar: The first thing that an organization needs to do is to give space, place, for people

to fail.

Now, it shouldn't give a blank check to failure, but it needs to identify the area where failure

is not traumatic or terrible and give space in these areas, because that's where people

learn; that's where people explore.

An organization where people are afraid of failing every step of the way will not be

an innovative organization.

Second, an organization needs to also consider giving people recovery space.

It's no coincidence that we get some of our best ideas in the shower.

We used to get it in the car, before the cell phone came on the scene.

And it's because people have the time to take a step back and to think about certain issues,

for ideas to marinate.

And this is necessary.

That's part of creativity.

It's no coincidence that the words creation and recreation are etymologically linked,

because we need to recreate if we want to create.

Organizations need to encourage their employees to take recovery times, whether it's 15 minutes

every 90 minutes or so; whether it's the gym in the middle of the day; whether it's the

day or two off, not while being connected to the computer and cell phone; whether it's

the vacation, where one is really on vacation, on holiday.

And these recovery periods in the long term actually contribute to creativity, productivity,

as well as happiness.

Question: What is optimal love?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Optimal love is about continuous growth within the relationship.

It's about the partners becoming more intimate.

It's about the partners finding more and more meaning in their relationship.

It's about developing.

It's about ups and downs, with the general trajectory being upward.

Question: What are the most common illusions about love?

Tal Ben-Shahar: One of the major illusions is that healthy love, a healthy relationship,

is devoid of conflict, whereas in fact what we see when we study the best relationships

is that conflict is part and parcel of a healthy relationship.

In fact, when there is no conflict, it's a sign that the partners are suppressing, that

they're ignoring things.

And it's usually a prescription for failure.

At the same time, when we only have conflict, or primarily conflict, that's also a bad sign.

What we want to see in relationships is a positive ratio between positive experiences

and negative experiences, so to have more love, more joy, more celebration, and at the

same time a little bit of fighting and bickering can only help.

Question: How can people endure moments of conflict in relationships?

Tal Ben-Shahar: The psychologist David Schnarch talks about gridlocks within relationships.

Gridlocks are points that we get to, and every long-lasting relationship gets to, where we're

stuck, where we disagree about certain things that are fundamental to the relationship.

And many people view these gridlocks as signaling the end, the necessary end, of a relationship,

whereas in fact, as David Schnarch points out, these can very often be the genesis of

growth, the beginning of a deeper relationship.

So it's important to remind ourselves that very often -- not always, but very often -- gridlocks,

fights, conflicts are points for potential growth if we work through them, if we honestly

and opening grow through them.

Question: What keeps you up at night?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Education, that's our future.

This is where I'm putting most of my time into thinking about how we can introduce,

whether it's in the public school system or in the private schools, better teaching; how

we can cultivate more wellbeing, more of a sense of purpose, because many students are

experiencing what Victor Frankl called an existential vacuum, meaninglessness.

So how to introduce a sense of purpose, how to introduce more happiness.

And these things are of course related.

And how to introduce more ambition and more flourishing in the general sense of the word

into schools.

Question: Should classes like your Harvard course on happiness be taught to kids?

Tal Ben-Shahar: I think we should introduce a happiness curriculum from kindergarten all

the way up to the age of 120.

Why?

Because happiness is a journey.

The earlier we start, the better; however, also if we start at a late stage, we can still

teach a lot, we can still learn a lot.

Question: What is the best career advice you've ever received?

Tal Ben Shahar: The best advice that I got was from my philosophy teacher, Ohad Kamin.

After graduating from college and feeling very lost, I went to him, and his advice was,

Tal, think about the things that you want to do and write them down.

Then look at these things and identify the things that you really want to do, and write

these down.

And from those things, identify the things that you really, really want to do, and then

go ahead and do it.

You know, life is short.

We don't have that much time.

And it's too short to do what we feel that we have to do; it's barely long enough to

do what we want to do.

Question: What is the worst mistake you've made in your career?

Tal Ben-Shahar: It's very difficult for me to answer this question about worst mistake,

especially after having written a book about the importance of mistakes.

So I can only think of best mistakes that I've made; you know, mistakes that I've learned

from.

And it could be mistakes in terms of taking on too many things, saying yes to too many

things instead of simplifying my life.

It could be the mistakes of doing things that were for the sake of getting accolades as

opposed to things that were self-determined, that came from within, things that have been

really -- that I was passionate about.

Or the mistakes of not being nice enough to people in authority, and I've

very often paid a price for that.

Question: What is the importance of failure?

Tal Ben-Shahar: One of the mantras that I repeat over and over again to myself, to my

students, is learn to fail or fail to learn.

One of the things that I tell my students about halfway through the class -- when it's

too late to drop the class and they've already gotten to know me a little bit better -- I

tell them that I wish them that they fail more, and I truly, sincerely mean it, because

it's only through failure that we can learn -- no, it's not true.

It's through failure that we can enjoy deep learning.

It's through failure that we become more resilient and stronger.

And if you look at the life of any successful person, they've always had major as well as

minor failures.

Question: Have any historical figures exemplified the concept of failing well?

Tal Ben-Shahar: Sure.

Thomas Edison patented 1,093 inventions, more than any other scientist inventor in history.

He's also the scientist, as far as we know, who has failed the most times.

When Edison was working on a battery, one of his inventions, an interviewer came over

and said to him in the interview, "Edison, you have failed a thousand times; give it

up."

To which Edison responded, "I haven't failed a thousand times; I've succeeded a thousand

times.

I've succeeded in showing what doesn't work."

Edison also famously said, "I failed my way to success."