This Destroys Your Marriage! – Watch This Before It’s Too Late

Summary

In this enlightening discussion, Sheikh Yaser Birjas delves into the complexities of marriage, addressing the evolving nature of love, the importance of respect, and the role of empathy in sustaining relationships. He explores common challenges, such as unmet expectations, lack of flexibility, and emotional fulfillment, offering valuable insights from Islamic teachings and the Prophet's (saw) example. Emphasizing patience, kindness, and understanding, Sheikh Birjas encourages couples to navigate marital conflicts with compassion and open-mindedness, fostering strong, enduring relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Love in marriage evolves and deepens over time, shifting from passionate love to more profound feelings of compassion and respect.
• 😀 It is crucial to maintain peace and tranquility in a marriage, as emotional fulfillment is a key to avoiding conflict and maintaining harmony.
• 😀 Successful marriages rely on flexibility, empathy, and the willingness to adapt to life's changes and challenges together.
• 😀 Respect and love are both essential in a relationship, with respect often being the most critical need for men and love for women.
• 😀 The Prophet Muhammad (saw) exhibited the highest levels of kindness, patience, and respect towards his wives, offering a model for ideal marital conduct.
• 😀 Communication and understanding are vital in a marriage; spouses should express love and respect in ways meaningful to each other, even if it doesn't make sense to them.
• 😀 Unrealistic expectations and unmet desires can lead to relationship breakdowns, as people begin to feel unappreciated and disconnected.
• 😀 Divorce should not be the first option unless there is abuse or a toxic environment. Effort should be made to address issues and find peace through patience and effort.
• 😀 Manners (Akhlaq) are essential for a lasting marriage; how you treat each other with kindness, even in difficult times, is a defining factor for success.
• 😀 Marital problems, such as disagreements or misunderstandings, are normal and should be resolved with patience, kindness, and a commitment to growth.

Q & A

Why do spouses become distant from each other over time?

Spouses can become distant over time due to changing responsibilities, evolving life stages, and unmet expectations. The relationship evolves from the passionate love of early years to a deeper, more stable love, where appreciation shifts to the roles each partner plays, such as being parents or caretakers.

Is it possible to preserve love like in the early days of marriage?

While it's natural for love to evolve, it's still possible to preserve a strong bond if both partners continuously nurture their relationship. Love in marriage changes from passion to deeper compassion, understanding, and mutual support.

What does it mean to do marriage 'right' according to Ibn Al-Qayyim?

Ibn Al-Qayyim suggested that marriage done right strengthens love. He emphasized that marriage should be built on love and mercy, combining passion with compassion. Over time, love evolves to include mutual respect, care, and understanding rather than just romantic passion.

How does the concept of 'peace' relate to marriage?

Peace in marriage is crucial for emotional stability. The goal of any relationship is to find tranquility, but if partners do not provide peace to each other, their energy gets drained, leading to frustration and conflict. Both partners need to contribute positively to maintain peace.

What role does the Prophet Muhammad (saw) play in understanding marital relationships?

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) is a model for marital conduct. His compassion, understanding, and respect for his wives are examples of how to nurture a loving relationship. His personal life shows the importance of kindness, flexibility, and emotional support in marriage.

How should spouses show respect to each other?

Respect in marriage is about understanding each other's needs and responding appropriately. It includes treating each other with dignity, acknowledging each other’s roles, and being considerate of cultural differences and personal boundaries.

What is the most common trait in successful marriages?

The most common trait in successful marriages is good character (akhlaq). Regardless of differences in wealth, education, or background, mutual respect, kindness, and understanding are key to a lasting relationship.

What causes many marriages to fail?

Marriages often fail due to a lack of flexibility, where one or both partners refuse to adapt to changes over time. Unrealistic expectations, poor communication, and unmet emotional needs also contribute to the breakdown of relationships.

How can couples deal with unmet expectations in marriage?

Unmet expectations are a silent killer in relationships. The key to dealing with them is open communication, patience, and flexibility. Both partners need to manage their expectations and work together to fulfill each other’s needs without resentment.

What did the Prophet Muhammad (saw) teach us about handling disagreements in marriage?

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) taught us to respond to conflict with kindness and patience. When disagreements arise, it's important to handle them with respect, treat each other with dignity, and focus on resolving issues without escalating tension.