13 Things I Wish I'd Done Differently At 22 | The Financial Diet

Summary

Chelsea from The Financial Diet shares personal insights on the mistakes she wishes she hadn't made at 22. Her candid advice covers learning to say no, not letting early decisions define her, being selective with unpaid work, and the importance of negotiating salaries. She also emphasizes the value of maintaining friendships, managing living spaces, and balancing social media consumption. Chelsea encourages embracing change and understanding that identity is fluid, not fixed by career or status.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Learn to say 'no' to commitments you can't fulfill to avoid last-minute cancellations and stress.
• 🎓 Understand that early career decisions do not define you for life and it's okay to explore different paths.
• 💼 Be selective with unpaid work and ensure it benefits your career progression.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Be less confrontational with parents, as they often have your best interests at heart.
• 💰 Always negotiate your salary, as your initial pay sets the base for future earnings.
• 👔 Be smart about purchasing professional attire; one good interview outfit is often enough to start.
• 👭 Accept that not all friendships will transition from school to real life, and that's okay.
• 🙅‍♀️ Avoid taking jobs solely because they are available; wait for the right fit rather than settling.
• 🏠 Take pride in your living space; a well-organized home can positively impact your life and work.
• 📱 Reduce social media consumption to alleviate pressure from perceived success of others.
• 🛠️ Pursue side projects to diversify your skills and experiences beyond your primary job.
• 🎉 Cherish the time with school friends, as these relationships may naturally change post-graduation.
• 🆔 Recognize that your identity is fluid and does not need to be rigidly defined by labels or status.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Chelsea's video from The Financial Diet?

The main theme of Chelsea's video is sharing personal insights and advice on what she wishes she had done differently at the age of 22, particularly in relation to post-grad life and financial preparedness.

Why does Chelsea emphasize the importance of not overcommitting to things you can't follow through on?

Chelsea emphasizes this because overcommitting can lead to feelings of dread and stress when looking at a calendar full of undesired obligations, and it's better to save oneself from the guilt and headache of last-minute cancellations.

What is Chelsea's perspective on the decisions made at 22 in terms of long-term impact?

Chelsea believes that decisions made at 22, such as choosing a career path, should not be seen as defining one's entire life. She encourages the understanding that it's normal to explore different paths and make mistakes early in one's career.

Why does Chelsea suggest being more selective about unpaid work?

Chelsea advises being selective about unpaid work because it's common to feel obligated to take on such roles to gain experience. However, she points out the importance of evaluating whether the opportunity is truly beneficial and not just a means of exploitation.

What advice does Chelsea give regarding relationships with parents during the early professional years?

Chelsea advises being less confrontational with parents, acknowledging that they usually have the best intentions and that their advice is often valuable. She suggests listening to them and trusting their judgment in many cases.

How does Chelsea feel about salary negotiation and why is it important according to her?

Chelsea feels that salary negotiation is crucial and often overlooked. She regrets not starting to negotiate earlier, as it can significantly impact one's earnings and career growth over time.

What mistake did Chelsea make regarding the purchase of professional clothes and what is the suggested approach?

Chelsea made the mistake of overinvesting in professional clothes before securing a job, which was unnecessary and financially imprudent. The suggested approach is to have one good interview outfit and then buy more clothes as needed once the job is secured.

Why is it important to accept that not all friendships will transition from school to real life, according to Chelsea?

Chelsea believes it's important to accept this because many friendships are contextual and may not withstand changes in life circumstances. She advises not to take it personally and to focus on strengthening the friendships that do endure.

What is Chelsea's stance on taking jobs just for the sake of having a job after college?

Chelsea advises against taking a job just because it's available, especially if it's not a good fit. She suggests it's better to take time to find the right career path, even if it means working part-time jobs in the meantime.

How does Chelsea view the importance of maintaining and organizing one's living space?

Chelsea views maintaining and organizing one's living space as a reflection of one's life and work. She believes that taking care of one's home can set a positive tone for one's professional life and personal well-being.

What advice does Chelsea offer regarding social media consumption for recent graduates?

Chelsea advises recent graduates to reduce social media consumption to alleviate the pressure of comparing oneself to others who may appear to have their lives more figured out. She suggests focusing on one's own journey rather than the curated highlights of others.

Why does Chelsea recommend taking on side projects and how can they benefit one's career?

Chelsea recommends taking on side projects to diversify one's professional experiences and skills. This can help in discovering long-term career interests and building a well-rounded portfolio that adds value to one's professional self.

What does Chelsea suggest about embracing the time with school friends as one transitions into post-grad life?

Chelsea suggests cherishing and treasuring the time with school friends, as these relationships may naturally change or fade after graduation. She recommends creating shared experiences to strengthen these bonds before the transition.

How does Chelsea view the concept of identity and self-definition post-graduation?

Chelsea views identity as fluid and not something that needs to be rigidly defined immediately after graduation. She advises against the pressure of finding a label that fits and encourages embracing the fluidity and changeability of one's identity.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Learning to Say No and Accepting Imperfections

Chelsea from The Financial Diet shares personal insights on what she wishes she had done differently at 22. She emphasizes the importance of learning to say no to commitments that one cannot fulfill, which can save a lot of stress and disappointment. Chelsea also advises against the pressure to define oneself immediately after graduation, highlighting that early career decisions do not set one's entire life path. She encourages viewers to be more selective with unpaid work and to be more discerning about the opportunities they take on.

05:01

💼 Embracing Change and Navigating Adulthood

In this segment, Chelsea discusses the inevitability of change in friendships and careers post-graduation. She advises viewers to be selective with their jobs, avoiding positions that may seem appealing only because they offer employment. Chelsea also stresses the importance of maintaining a clean and organized living space, which can positively affect one's work and life. Additionally, she touches on the impact of social media on self-perception and the benefits of reducing its influence. Lastly, she encourages taking on side projects to explore different career paths and develop a well-rounded skill set.

10:03

🌟 Valuing Relationships and Embracing Identity Fluidity

Chelsea concludes her discussion by urging viewers to cherish the time spent with school friends, as these relationships may naturally evolve after graduation. She also emphasizes the importance of not rushing to find a fixed identity, but instead, to accept that one's identity can be fluid and change over time. Chelsea reminds viewers that labels such as job titles or locations do not define who they are, and that it's okay for one's sense of self to evolve. She wraps up by encouraging viewers to be comfortable with being themselves, regardless of external definitions.

Keywords

💡Personal Development

Personal development refers to the process of improving one's skills, knowledge, and overall well-being. In the video, Chelsea discusses the personal growth she wishes she had experienced at 22, emphasizing the importance of learning to say no to commitments one cannot fulfill and the value of self-awareness in personal and professional life.

💡Post-Grad Life

Post-grad life is the period following the completion of one's formal education, typically college or university. Chelsea uses this term to describe the transition from academic to professional life, where she advises on being prepared for the realities of the 'real world' and the importance of handling responsibilities, including financial management.

💡Saying No

Saying no is the act of refusing to take on commitments or tasks that one cannot or does not want to do. Chelsea highlights the importance of this skill, explaining that agreeing to things one knows they won't follow through with can lead to unnecessary stress and disappointment, both for oneself and others.

💡Unpaid Work

Unpaid work refers to labor performed without monetary compensation, often for the sake of gaining experience or exposure. Chelsea discusses the necessity of being selective with unpaid work, cautioning against taking on too much without considering the potential benefits or future prospects.

💡Parental Advice

Parental advice is guidance or recommendations given by one's parents. Chelsea reflects on the importance of heeding parental advice, acknowledging that while it's not always right, parents usually have their children's best interests at heart and their experience can be valuable.

💡Negotiation

Negotiation is the process of discussing and reaching an agreement. In the context of the video, Chelsea emphasizes the importance of negotiating one's salary and terms of employment, explaining that failing to do so can result in financial loss and undervaluing one's work.

💡Professional Wardrobe

A professional wardrobe consists of clothing suitable for a business or formal environment. Chelsea advises against over-investing in professional attire before securing a job, suggesting that one should start with a single interview outfit and build a wardrobe as needed based on the specific job requirements.

💡Friendships

Friendships are close relationships between individuals. The video discusses the inevitable changes in friendships post-graduation, noting that many college friendships are context-dependent and may not survive the transition to the 'real world', but also highlighting the importance of cherishing these relationships while they last.

💡Social Media

Social media refers to online platforms that allow users to create and share content or participate in social networking. Chelsea recommends reducing social media consumption to alleviate the pressure of comparing oneself to others who may appear to have more successful or settled lives, a common issue for recent graduates.

💡Side Projects

Side projects are additional activities or tasks undertaken alongside one's main job or career. Chelsea encourages taking on side projects to explore different interests, develop new skills, and create a more diverse professional portfolio, which can be beneficial for long-term career development.

💡Identity

Identity refers to the characteristics and qualities that define who a person is. In the video, Chelsea talks about the pressure to establish a fixed identity post-graduation and advises viewers to embrace the fluidity of identity, recognizing that one's job, relationship status, or location do not fully define them.

Highlights

Chelsea from The Financial Diet shares personal insights on what she wishes she'd done differently at 22.

Importance of setting boundaries by not overcommitting to activities or favors you can't fulfill.

Learning to say 'no' upfront to avoid last-minute cancellations and unnecessary stress.

Understanding that early life decisions do not define you forever, allowing for flexibility in career paths.

The pressure of post-grad life and the myth of immediate career definition after college.

Being selective about unpaid work and understanding its value and potential for exploitation.

The ethical debate surrounding unpaid internships and their necessity in today's job market.

Advice on not being overly critical of parents' advice, acknowledging their genuine care for your well-being.

Transcripts

Hey, guys.

It's Chelsea from The Financial Diet.

And today I'm going to be doing something a little more

personal and fun than usual, which

is talking about the things that I wish

I'd done differently at 22.

Now we know a lot of you guys are in the college age range,

pretty soon going to be heading out into what we all

call the real world.

So I thought it might be fun to share

with you guys some of the things that I wish I had

done differently at that age.

Now obviously, not every one of these points

is going to be purely financial, but I

do believe that the better prepared

we are for the realities of post-grad life,

the better we're able to handle everything, including,

and possibly especially, money.

So let's jump right into it.

Here are the 13 things I wish I'd done differently at 22.

Number one is telling people I can do things

when I know I can't follow.

Through now I think there's a variety of reasons that lead us

to saying yes to a lot of things, like favors

or helping people out, or even just social activities.

But no matter what the reason, I think a lot of us

find ourselves in young adulthood

with a calendar full of things that we said yes

to that we knew in our heart of hearts we weren't going to do.

And there is nothing worse than A, looking at your calendar

and dreading something you agreed to, or B, canceling

on people last minute when you should have

said no in the first place.

It took me several years of adulthood

to really learn to say, OK.

Clearly, I'm not going to want to help my friend go

to the Ikea all the way in downtown Brooklyn

at 8:00 in the morning on a Sunday.

And by learning to say no to things upfront,

and to be honest with myself about what I can and can't do,

it saved me a ton of headaches.

The rush you get from agreeing to do things

is nowhere close to worth the downfall

you feel when you know you're not going to do it.

Number two was remembering that the decisions

I made at that time in my life were not

going to define me forever.

There's such a rush when you graduate

to really sort of define who and what you're going to be.

And you can often feel like you're

in a race with people in real life and on social media

to really decide on a path and define yourself.

Now obviously, you shouldn't look

at your first job out of school as like, ah, this

is a throwaway.

I'm just 22.

I don't have to be great at it, and you know,

get fired six months later.

But you also shouldn't look at that job

as the thing that's going to define you

for the rest of your life.

Part of the problem with majors and internships

and that sort of culture of picking a career path

is that it sets you up to feel like your whole education is

worthless if you don't do exactly what you thought

you would do.

The truth is that you're very likely to bounce around

between a few paths in your first few years out of college.

And taking some time to really understand what you want to do

is not a failure.

You're allowed to make mistakes.

Number three is be more picky about my unpaid work.

Now it's pretty much unavoidable in America today--

and we can debate the ethics of this

later-- that in order to get the career you want,

you're probably going to have to do a little bit of unpaid work

here or there.

But I think like a lot of people in that sort

of like late college, early career area,

I was sort of everyone's bitch and felt like, OK,

working a full-time, unpaid internship with not even

a whisper of a real job after is just what you do.

There were internships where I didn't even

ask if there was a possibility to be compensated,

and there very well might have been.

And even in unpaid situations where

there was a benefit to me, I didn't

know where to draw the line.

For example I wrote a few articles for big,

prestige outlets early on in my career

that definitely had enough money to pay their writers.

And I wrote one for them, and I sort of got such a high off

of it that I kept writing articles for them,

even though one to get the byline was enough.

And I should have drawn the line.

I don't think I'd have the career I have today

if I didn't do some unpaid work, but I should have

been a lot smarter about it.

Number four is honestly simple.

Be less of a bitch to my parents.

It would be an exaggeration to say that they

were right about everything.

But there were certainly a lot of things

in my college and early professional life

that I really fought them on that I should have just trusted

them on.

You shouldn't blindly trust your parents about everything.

But it's important to remember that, in most cases,

your parents genuinely and purely

want what is best for you.

Very few people in your life will

be advocates to that level.

So you should listen to them.

Number five is negotiate.

Now I know we've been over this a million times,

but it's because it's so important and so ignored.

It took me, like, literally four different jobs

to start negotiating, and that is ridiculous.

At 22, I was just so excited at the idea of someone

paying me money for work that I wanted

to do that they could have been paying me

in, like, shells and twigs, and I

would have been over the moon.

I didn't advocate for myself because I was like,

I'm a lowly college--

not even grad.

I didn't even graduate.

So I was like, I don't deserve any of this.

I'll take whatever you give me.

I'm not exaggerating-- not negotiating probably cost me

at least $10,000 to $20,000 over the course of a couple years

because don't forget, once you lock

in that initial salary, that's the salary you're building off

of for as long as you're out that company.

Number six is to be way smarter about how

I bought professional clothes.

Here's a good rule of thumb.

When you're not sure what your job's going to be yet,

you get one nice interview outfit.

And you don't buy more work clothes until you have the job.

I was on the interview process and I was like,

I guess I need an entire wardrobe

like that scene in The Devil Wears Prada

where they take her into the work closet

and give her an entire year's worth of Dolce and Gabbana.

That was me, except with Ann Taylor

instead of Dolce and Gabbana.

But the point is I took it so, so over the top

because I was like, it's professional time, bitch.

I'm going to look really good.

Number seven is accept the fact that not every friendship

is going to make the transition from school to real life.

The truth is that a lot of friendships are contextual,

and whether we want to admit it or not,

a lot of our close friends in college

were really only so close because we saw them

literally every day.

I think a lot of people can either

take it really personally or sort of beat

themselves up if they lose that connection

with a lot of the people that they were

really close to in college.

And I'm definitely one of those people.

But the truth is that a lot of friendship

just aren't made to withstand that change

in context and in distance.

And the friendships that you do keep

will become that much stronger.

No one will tell you this, but if you're a working, busy,

full of responsibility adult, you basically

have the time for a couple good friends,

and that's already a solid achievement.

College sets you up for really unrealistic expectations

about how your friend groups will be maintained.

Let it go.

Eight is saying no to certain jobs.

The truth is that people are so desperate after college to get

a job so that they feel like they're not A, a failure,

and B, in some way wasting all of the money and/,

or loans that they took out to pay for that college education.

But the point is, if a job looks terrible in every way

except for the fact that it's a job, don't take it.

It's a much better move to do some

waitressing and retail and barista-ing for a year

while you find the right career path

rather than to jump into the first office job that

will take you because the truth is that

abruptly leaving in any way a quote,

unquote professional job is a lot harder

to explain on your resume.

So just because a job gives you a cubicle

and a little bit of social prestige, don't be sucked in.

Number nine is put a little bit more

thought into my living space.

Now it doesn't matter how much money

you have to spend on your space or on your furniture

or on your neighborhood or whatever.

Everyone has the ability to take care of their home.

And there were definitely a couple years post-grad

while I was still sort of like a teenager in my mind,

and I would have piles of things everywhere,

and I didn't keep a neat calendar,

and things were completely disorganized.

And it totally reflected in my life and in my work.

The sooner you start taking care of your living

space like, say, your mom might take care of your living

space, the better.

Nothing will get you off on a better foot in your first job

than coming home to a space every night that really feels

like the adult you want to be.

Number 10 is relax about the social media race.

If you're a post-grad who's in the sort of frantic,

get a job race, one of the best pieces of advice

I can give you is to seriously reduce your social media

consumption.

Now whether that means unfollowing certain people who

make you feel kind of bad about yourself,

or whittling down what you yourself feel the need to post,

just take it down a notch.

So much of that crazy pressure to figure your life out at 22

comes from seeing people around you who

seem to have it all figured out because everyone's life looks

more impressive and more together

when filtered through social media.

But when we feel really insecure and down about ourselves,

it can be hard to remember that everyone else is

painting an incomplete portrait, just like we are.

So if you feel yourself feeling like the loser who

can't figure their life out, I recommend seriously cutting

back on social media.

You don't need to be pinged with a push notification every time

one of your friends gets a job.

Number 11 is take on more side projects.

Now obviously, in the first six months to a year of a job,

it can be hard to find that balance that

allows you to take on side projects and hobbies and things

like that.

But one of the only good ways to figure out

what you want your career to look like, especially

in the long term, is to make sure you're constantly

diversifying what you do with your time.

You should be forcing yourself to dedicate at least a couple

hours to earning a little extra income,

working on learning a new skill, or sharpening

one you already have.

Just having a job is not enough.

You have to have sort of a well-rounded portfolio

of your professional self.

For example, why not do a little Duolingo or something

on your commute to work?

There's nothing stopping you from always adding something

new to what you can offer.

Number 12 is embracing the time that I still

had with my school friends.

22 is a year in your life where so, so much is going to change.

And it can be really hard to understand in the moment

that the people who you're so used

to being around all the time are pretty soon going to be

a very small part of your life.

It's not anyone's fault or failure

when friendships can naturally fade away a little bit.

But it's really important that we keep and treasure

the time that we have with these people while we have it.

If you're nearing the end of your college life,

I would recommend taking maybe a weekend

to go on a little trip with your friends,

or find a little activity that the few of you

can do for this last semester, or whatever

it is to make you feel closer and more connected

with these people.

To be honest, I kind of took for granted a lot of the time

that I had with my college friends when I had it.

And I wish I'd really appreciated it more

in the moment.

Number 13 is remember that my identity is totally fluid,

and I don't have to decide who or what I am.

There's such a rush when we graduate school

to really find a label that fits ourselves

as well as student did.

You know, you want to be, like, I'm a professional,

I'm a teacher, I'm a writer, I'm a New Yorker, I'm a whatever.

And we try so hard to find these perfect labels

that we feel we can really be proud of and really live in.

And then we realize that they don't even

define 1/3 of who we are.

So if I could go back, I would remind myself over and over

that my job status, my relationship

status, my location, none of those things are who I am.

They're just things I do or things I have.

The race to find a definition of ourselves that fits

is one of the most frustrating of the post-grad era

because you will never win it.

So get comfortable with just being you

and realizing that what that means

can change even on a day-to-day basis.

So as always, thank you for watching,

and don't forget to hit the Subscribe button

and go to thefinancialdiet.com for more.

Bye.