Mengapa Memaafkan Itu Sulit? Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin

Summary

In this insightful video, Dr. Jimyardian, a psychiatrist, delves into the complex emotions surrounding forgiveness, especially during festive times like Eid. He explores why some individuals, despite intellectually forgiving, still harbor pain. Drawing from the theory of ego states, he explains that our minds are like multiple entities with different intentions, often conflicting. He suggests that true healing comes from addressing and releasing the emotional pain, rather than forcing forgiveness or acceptance. The video offers a profound perspective on internal conflict and the journey towards emotional healing.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker acknowledges that some people may still feel hurt even after forgiving others during festive times like Eid.
• 🤔 The discussion explores why some individuals continue to feel pain despite having forgiven someone, suggesting that forgiveness might not be complete or that there are unresolved emotional issues.
• 🧠 The script introduces the concept of 'ego states' from cognitive behavioral therapy, suggesting that different parts of our psyche may have different reactions to forgiveness and pain.
• 🌟 The speaker, Dr. Jimyardian, a psychiatrist, explains that the human mind is not singular but operates with multiple 'ego states' or smaller identities that can have conflicting goals and emotions.
• 👥 The concept of 'ego states' is used to illustrate how different parts of oneself might have different reactions to the same situation, such as forgiving someone who has hurt you.
• 💔 It's highlighted that the part of us that feels hurt may not be the same part that forgives, leading to internal conflict and unresolved emotional pain.
• 🌱 The importance of understanding and addressing the needs of the part of ourselves that is hurt is emphasized, rather than forcing forgiveness or acceptance.
• 🙏 The speaker suggests that asking for forgiveness from the hurt part of oneself can be a powerful step towards healing and moving on.
• 🔄 The process of emotional releasing is mentioned as a way to help the hurt part of oneself to let go of negative emotions before moving towards forgiveness or acceptance.
• 📢 The speaker calls for empathy and understanding towards the hurt part of ourselves, advocating for a more compassionate approach to self-forgiveness and emotional healing.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The video discusses why people may still feel emotional pain even after they have consciously forgiven someone.

What is the perspective of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) on unresolved pain after forgiveness?

From a CBT perspective, unresolved pain may stem from unprocessed thoughts or behaviors that still trigger the emotional pain. Identifying and addressing these can help alleviate the feelings.

What does the 'ego state' theory suggest about forgiveness and emotional pain?

The 'ego state' theory suggests that individuals consist of multiple 'selves' or parts, and while one part may want to forgive, another part may still feel anger or pain. These different parts may conflict, which is why pain can persist even after forgiveness.

Why does the speaker compare the self to multiple 'selves' or 'parts'?

The speaker uses the concept of multiple 'selves' to illustrate that different parts of a person may have conflicting desires, such as wanting to forgive but also feeling hurt, which can lead to internal conflict and prolonged emotional pain.

According to the video, why doesn't the pain go away after forgiving someone?

The pain doesn't go away because the part of the self that forgives is different from the part that feels hurt. Until the 'hurt' part is properly addressed, the emotional pain may remain.

What is the recommended approach to healing emotional pain, according to the speaker?

The recommended approach is to acknowledge and validate the part of the self that feels hurt, instead of forcing it to forgive or move on. Once the emotional pain is processed and released, healing can begin.

Why is forcing forgiveness or acceptance considered ineffective?

Forcing forgiveness or acceptance is ineffective because it dismisses the emotional pain without addressing the underlying feelings. This can lead to emotional numbness rather than true healing.

What is the 'emotion releasing process' that the speaker refers to?

The 'emotion releasing process' involves acknowledging and processing the emotional pain first before trying to forgive or accept. This ensures that the part of the self that is hurt is healed before moving on.

What practical advice does the speaker offer for those unable to forgive?

The speaker advises people to apologize to the part of themselves that feels hurt, instead of demanding that it forgive. This helps validate the pain and begins the healing process.

What role does spiritual forgiveness play in emotional healing according to the speaker?

Spiritual forgiveness is important but may not fully heal emotional pain if it comes from a part of the self that is not the one actually feeling the pain. Both the forgiving and the hurt parts need to be understood and reconciled for true healing.