The 1 thing I did to heal my Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style

Summary

In this video, the speaker shares her personal journey to heal her fearful-avoidant attachment style, which involved intense emotions and confusion. She discovered the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as 'tapping,' and credits it with helping her release trauma and allowing love into her life. The speaker outlines her one-year experiment with various healing methods, emphasizing the importance of a clear vision for healing and the power of visualization combined with EFT to overcome fear and resistance. She also offers insights into the paradoxes of fearful-avoidant attachment and encourages viewers to embrace the process for lasting change.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker embarked on a year-long experiment to heal her fearful avoidant attachment style, exploring various therapies and techniques.
• 🔍 She discovered that Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as 'tapping,' was instrumental in her healing process, helping her release a significant amount of trauma.
• 📚 The term 'attachment style' wasn't widely recognized or discussed during her early explorations, making her journey more challenging.
• 🧘‍♀️ The speaker tried various methods including mindfulness, talk therapy, journaling, and reading to address her attachment issues.
• 🎯 She emphasizes the importance of having a clear and vivid picture of the desired healed state to guide the healing process.
• 🤔 The speaker found that tapping into specific memories and traumas related to her attachment style was a beneficial step in her healing journey.
• 💡 Visualization was a powerful tool for her, allowing her to practice and release fear and resistance in a safe, non-confrontational environment.
• 🚫 She warns against pushing through severe trauma without professional guidance, advocating for responsible self-healing practices.
• 🔗 The process of healing involved not just EFT but also learning practical skills like setting boundaries and communicating needs.
• ❤️ The speaker's personal transformation through these techniques allowed her to marry her boyfriend and start a family, underscoring the profound impact of her journey.

Q & A

What is the main focus of the video?

The main focus of the video is to discuss the emotional healing journey, particularly addressing the fearful avoidant attachment style, and sharing the speaker's personal experience with healing this through a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

What is the 'crash state' mentioned in the video?

The 'crash state' refers to the worst part of the fearful avoidant attachment style, where one is overwhelmed with intense emotions and emotional flashbacks, leading to confusion and fear.

Why did the speaker decide to start a one-year experiment?

The speaker started a one-year experiment to try everything she could to heal her attachment style and understand her issues with accepting love, with the intention of not wanting to regret losing her boyfriend if it turned out that the problems were within her.

What is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)?

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is a self-help technique that involves tapping on specific meridian points in the body to release emotional distress and trauma. It is used as a form of psychological acupressure.

How did EFT help the speaker?

EFT helped the speaker by releasing a significant portion of the trauma underlying her fearful avoidant attachment style, leading to a lighter and more peaceful emotional state.

What is the importance of having a clear picture of the desired emotional state when using EFT?

Having a clear picture of the desired emotional state is crucial when using EFT because it provides a target for the healing process. It allows the fear brain to understand and accept the changes, making the healing journey more effective and less confusing.

Why is visualization an important part of the healing process discussed in the video?

Visualization is important because it allows the individual to practice and experience the desired emotional state without the immediate fear of rejection or abandonment. It helps in releasing resistance and fear associated with the imagined scenario, making it easier to achieve the desired state in real life.

What are some of the paradoxes faced by individuals with fearful avoidant attachment style?

Some paradoxes faced by individuals with fearful avoidant attachment style include feeling unsafe when being powerful or weak, desiring closeness but being scared of letting people close, and seeking approval but also fearing the pressure that comes with it.

How does the speaker suggest handling intense emotions that come up during the healing process?

The speaker suggests allowing the intense emotions to come up and be present with them, rather than repressing or trying to fix them immediately. This acceptance is a form of rebellion against the fear brain and is a crucial step in the healing process.

What other practical skills did the speaker mention as part of the healing process besides EFT?

Besides EFT, the speaker mentions the importance of setting boundaries and learning how to communicate one's needs effectively as part of the healing process.

What is the speaker's ultimate message regarding the effectiveness of EFT?

The speaker's ultimate message is that EFT was the main factor that led to a significant transformation in her life, allowing her to experience love and relationships without the previous trauma, triggers, and fear that once controlled her.