my faith has been rocked

Summary

In this heartfelt video, the speaker shares their journey of faith shaken by personal struggles, including their mother's battle with cancer. They explore doubt, therapy, and the importance of a soft and humble heart in their spiritual walk, ultimately finding solace in God's love and compassion.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker's faith has been deeply shaken over the past year and a half, leading to a period of doubt and questioning.
• 🙏 The speaker's mother was diagnosed with cancer again, which was a significant factor contributing to the speaker's spiritual struggle.
• 🌟 Despite the challenges, the speaker's mother is doing well, receiving necessary treatments, and maintaining a strong spiritual and emotional state.
• 🤔 The speaker has been grappling with theodicy, questioning why a good God would allow suffering and feeling that common answers were unsatisfying.
• 😠 The speaker experienced anger towards God, feeling that God had not met their expectations and had 'shortchanged' them in some ways.
• 💭 The speaker sought therapy and began to explore doubt more deeply, watching videos of others who were deconstructing their faith.
• 🏗️ The speaker realized the importance of having a solid spiritual foundation and recognized that their previous mindset was partly faulty.
• 🔨 The speaker learned from the analogy of earthquake testing for buildings, understanding that flexibility and resilience are key to withstanding life's trials.
• 💔 The speaker acknowledged the need to let go of anger towards God and to embrace the love and compassion that God offers, even in pain.
• 📚 The speaker returned to the basics of Christianity to reevaluate their faith, focusing on the core message of the gospel and the purpose of life.
• 🙌 The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a soft and humble heart, open to receiving God's love and being shaped by His will.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial perspective on faith and doubts?

The speaker initially felt that faith was straightforward and didn't experience the doubts or struggles that others talked about. They believed in the fundamental truths of Christianity and felt that these truths made sense to them.

What event in the speaker's life challenged their faith?

The speaker's faith was challenged when their mother was diagnosed with cancer again, which was more serious than her previous battle with the disease. This, along with other personal and emotional challenges, shook the speaker to their core.

How did the speaker's mother's health condition affect their faith?

The recurrence of the speaker's mother's cancer, which was more serious than before, was a significant factor that led the speaker to question their faith and feel emotionally and spiritually challenged.

What was the speaker's emotional state during this period of doubt?

The speaker was angry at God, feeling that they had been shortchanged and that God had not met their expectations. This led them to a season of exploring doubt and questioning the core fundamentals of their faith.

What was the speaker's approach to dealing with their anger and doubts?

The speaker decided to go to therapy and began watching videos of people deconstructing their faith. They also returned to the basics of Christianity, questioning the gospel and their purpose.

What role did therapy play in the speaker's journey?

Therapy was a tool the speaker used to deal with their anger and doubts. It was a space where they could be honest about their feelings and explore their faith in a more authentic way.

How did the speaker's understanding of God change during this period?

Initially, the speaker saw God as an enemy rather than a friend, but they eventually realized that God was not the cause of their pain. They began to see God as a provider and a source of comfort and love.

What was the speaker's realization about the nature of faith?

The speaker realized that faith is not about building an impermeable structure that can't be defeated, but about being soft, moldable, and malleable to the movement of God in their life.

What was the significance of the earthquake testing for buildings analogy in the speaker's understanding of faith?

The analogy helped the speaker understand that a foundation built on concrete (a hard, impermeable substance) cracks under pressure, whereas a flexible, malleable foundation like wood can withstand movement. This led them to see the importance of a soft and humble heart in faith.

What was the speaker's final takeaway from their journey of doubt and exploration?

The speaker concluded that the key to faith is not in constructing a perfect, impermeable life, but in allowing God to soften the heart and receive His love. They learned to let go of their anger towards God and embrace His love and compassion.