You Will Never Make REAL Friends If You Keep Doing This
Summary
TLDRThe video script delves into the modern struggle of finding genuine connections amid perceived superficiality. It challenges the belief that people are inherently untrustworthy, suggesting that our perceptions may be skewed by past experiences and biases. The speaker encourages introspection to dismantle these toxic mindsets, emphasizing the importance of effort in nurturing relationships. They also address the impact of unrealistic expectations and the need to question assumptions about others, advocating for open-mindedness and active engagement with the world to foster meaningful friendships.
Takeaways
- 😔 The feeling that the world is fake and people are superficial is common, but it may be more about personal biases and mindset rather than reality.
- 🤔 The saying 'you are the five people you hang out with most' is often true, but it's important to recognize that your own mindset can influence your perceptions of others.
- 🧐 If you struggle to make friends, it might be due to an untrustworthy mindset and negative perceptions of people, rather than the people themselves.
- 🌱 Changing your mindset from being untrustworthy to recognizing that most people are just busy can help in forming healthier relationships.
- 👶 Upbringing and past experiences can significantly shape your beliefs about trust and relationships, affecting how you interact with others.
- 💤 Lack of sleep can drain your charisma and effort, making it harder to engage with others. Improving sleep quality can have a positive impact on your social interactions.
- 🛌 Magnesium supplements, like Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers, can help improve sleep quality, reduce stress, and regulate testosterone levels.
- 🤯 Unrealistic expectations about life and people can hinder the formation of genuine friendships. It's important to question the validity of these beliefs.
- 🌐 The internet can sometimes create a distorted view of reality, making it seem like the world and people are worse than they actually are.
- 🌟 Engaging with real people in the real world can often reveal more empathy and friendliness than what is commonly portrayed online.
- 🚶♂️ Instead of focusing on finding 'perfect' friends, start by building relationships with positive people and putting in the effort to maintain those relationships.
Q & A
What is the main issue discussed in the video script about forming friendships?
-The main issue discussed is the difficulty of finding genuine people to form real friendships in a world perceived as superficial and fake, and the role of personal biases and mindset in this challenge.
What is the 'quote' referred to in the video script that relates to the company you keep?
-The quote is 'You are the five people you hang out with the most,' which emphasizes the influence of the people around you on your own behavior and attitudes.
According to the script, why might someone feel that they can't find a high-quality friend group despite trying to be more charismatic?
-The script suggests that the problem might be due to a toxic mindset, including biases built up from past experiences, which leads to an inaccurate perception of reality and hinders the formation of solid friendships.
What is the scenario presented to illustrate the difference in perception between two people who have had different upbringings?
-The scenario compares two people: one raised in a rough environment with trust issues, and another raised in a nurturing environment with fulfilling friendships. Their different interpretations of the same situation (a friend cancelling plans) highlight how upbringing affects their perceptions of trustworthiness.
What is the role of self-reflection in addressing the toxic mindset discussed in the script?
-Self-reflection is crucial in identifying and challenging the preconceived notions and beliefs that may be hindering the ability to form genuine relationships, by questioning the validity of these beliefs and understanding their origins.
How does the script relate poor sleep quality to the ability to form and maintain relationships?
-The script suggests that poor sleep quality can lead to a lack of energy and motivation to reciprocate love and effort in relationships, and that improving sleep through means like magnesium supplementation can help enhance one's social abilities.
What is the significance of the supplement 'magnesium breakthrough by bio-optimizers' mentioned in the script?
-The supplement is highlighted as a means to improve sleep quality, reduce stress levels, and regulate testosterone, which in turn can positively affect one's social skills and charisma.
What is the unrealistic expectation discussed in the script that might be hindering the formation of friendships?
-The unrealistic expectation is the belief that all people should meet a certain set of criteria (e.g., being successful, having similar goals) to be considered as friends, which can limit the potential for forming diverse and meaningful relationships.
What advice does the script offer for those who struggle with trust issues and the feeling that no one likes them?
-The script advises to challenge one's upbringing and beliefs, to question the validity of negative assumptions about others, and to put in the effort to initiate conversations and make plans with potential friends.
How does the script encourage viewers to approach the idea of meeting new people and forming friendships?
-The script encourages viewers to let go of unrealistic expectations, to be open to forming relationships with 'cool, positive people,' and to practice the art of making relationships by challenging and destroying negative inner beliefs.
What is the final message of the video script regarding the pursuit of genuine friendships?
-The final message is that there is no shortage of great people in the world with whom one can form genuine friendships, but it requires inner work to overcome negative beliefs and unrealistic expectations, and to put in the effort to maintain relationships.
Outlines
🤔 Overcoming Trust Issues and Unrealistic Expectations
The first paragraph discusses the struggle of finding genuine people in a seemingly superficial world and the impact of one's mindset on this perception. It explores the idea that our biases and past experiences can lead us to view others as untrustworthy. The speaker uses two contrasting hypothetical individuals to illustrate how different upbringings can shape one's ability to trust and form friendships. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of challenging our preconceived notions and understanding that most people are not inherently untrustworthy, but our perceptions may be skewed by our own life experiences. It concludes with the advice to take initiative in relationships and recognize that maintaining friendships requires effort from both parties.
🌙 Addressing Sleep Deprivation and Unrealistic Social Expectations
The second paragraph delves into the effects of sleep deprivation on one's social skills and charisma, suggesting that poor sleep can lead to a lack of effort in reciprocating love and forming connections. The speaker introduces a product, Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers, which they claim has improved their sleep quality. They discuss the importance of magnesium for stress regulation and testosterone levels. The speaker also addresses the unrealistic expectations people have about life and others, influenced by self-improvement content and online narratives. They encourage questioning these beliefs and engaging with the real world to find that most people are more empathetic and friendly than they appear online. The paragraph concludes with a reminder to challenge our assumptions and to not let unrealistic expectations prevent us from forming meaningful relationships.
🚀 Letting Go of Judgmental Standards for Friendships
The third paragraph focuses on the unrealistic standards and judgments people have when it comes to forming friendships, particularly within the self-improvement community. The speaker advises against the idea of only seeking out 'successful' or 'perfect' friends and instead suggests building relationships with positive and cool people who contribute to one's happiness. They emphasize the importance of putting in the effort to maintain relationships and allowing for natural growth and change within friendships. The speaker also encourages letting go of preconceived notions and judgments about others, suggesting that this will ultimately lead to attracting the right kind of people into one's life. The paragraph ends with a call to action for viewers to work on their social skills and charisma, and to challenge their inner beliefs that may be hindering the formation of healthy relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Toxic Mindset
💡Untrustworthy
💡Genuine People
💡Superficial
💡Mindset
💡Initiate Conversation
💡Effort
💡Magnesium Breakthrough
💡Unrealistic Expectations
💡Self-Improvement
💡Empathetic
💡Brandolini's Law
Highlights
The video discusses the difficulty of finding genuine people and the influence of one's mindset on social interactions.
The concept that you become like the five people you spend the most time with is mentioned and its impact on forming friendships.
The video challenges the notion that most people are not of high value and suggests that our biases may be affecting our perceptions.
It argues that being untrustworthy of most people is often due to an inaccurate perception of reality rather than the people themselves.
The importance of examining one's own biases and mindset is emphasized to understand why genuine friendships are hard to form.
A scenario is presented to illustrate how different upbringings can lead to different interpretations of the same situation.
The video suggests that trust issues may stem from one's past experiences and beliefs rather than the current reality.
The role of self-reflection in identifying and challenging preconceived notions about others is highlighted.
The video points out that maintaining friendships requires constant effort from both parties and is not a one-sided process.
The negative impact of sleep deprivation on one's social skills and charisma is discussed, along with a solution.
Magnesium Breakthrough by Bio-Optimizers is introduced as a supplement that can improve sleep quality and reduce stress.
The unrealistic expectations and assumptions people have about life and others are identified as a toxic mindset.
The video encourages questioning the validity of beliefs about the world and people, suggesting that they may not be accurate.
The importance of going outside and interacting with real people to gain a more accurate perception of the world is stressed.
The video refutes the idea that the world is full of fake people and suggests that this belief may be a coping mechanism.
The concept of Brandolini's Law is introduced to explain why false ideas spread more easily than the effort to refute them.
The video concludes by encouraging viewers to challenge their beliefs, lower their expectations, and put in the effort to make friends.
Transcripts
the world is so fake everything's
superficial nowadays why isn't it
possible to find real genuine people now
if you clicked on this video it's likely
that these are the types of thoughts
that run through your mind on a frequent
basis you probably already know that
quote by now that says you are the five
people you hang out with the most i even
cited it in my video about removing
toxic people from my life and i still
agree with that statement so if that's
the case then why would you try and
become friends with anyone because the
majority of humanity is depressing and
not of high value the problem is a lot
of what i said in that video was based
on the biases that i built up over the
past year or so and this bias and
mindset is what you're probably allowing
yourself to accept as fact if you're
having trouble making any sort of real
solid friends if you've watched my other
videos on socializing with people and
being more charismatic but you just feel
like you still can't find that right
high quality friend group then you're
the one that's creating the problem are
there genuinely bad people out there
that just want to use you and won't
reciprocate your kindness of course but
those people that i was questioning
whether they were my friends or not
throughout my life did not fit that
criteria and i thought they did because
of the mindset that i had built up and
this is probably the case for you too so
let's break down the first part of this
toxic mindset being totally
untrustworthy and seeing most people as
negative the truth is if you're
untrustworthy of most people it's not
because those people are actually
untrustworthy okay i mean sometimes they
actually will be but because you're
functioning on an inaccurate perception
of reality to explain this further let
me give you a scenario let's say we have
two people the first was raised in a
rough environment their father left them
when they were young they never had a
solid group of friends to call their own
and were never encouraged to keep going
after they failed at something because
of this they believe the world is out to
get them and most people are fake and
only want to see them if they want
something from them the second person
was raised in a much more healthy manner
they had both parents growing up who
nurtured and loved them and they found
it easy to make friends because of it
and each of their friendships felt both
fulfilling and enriching to them so
let's put these two people in the same
scenario let's say they have a friend or
someone they want to be friends with
whom they made plans to hang out with
later that day but the person cancels
last minute because they have a family
issue to take care of the first person
would automatically assume the person
must dislike them and that it's because
they did something wrong and because
they believe this this would only
continue to fuel their mindset that most
people are untrustworthy and they'd
probably give up on trying to see that
person again the second person would
probably think to themselves well this
person is probably just busy it's all
right that they had something come up
last minute i'm sure i'll see them again
soon if i try two completely different
interpretations of the exact same
situation and if you struggle with trust
issues and feeling like no one likes you
then your upbringings and beliefs are
probably closer to person number one
many of us are functioning in a reality
that does not at all reflect how things
actually are and to fix this you really
need to dive deep into yourself and ask
yourself why is it that i hold this
belief in my head to be absolute fact
when i did this myself i realized that
many of my preconceived notions about
others actually came from the stuff that
i went through earlier on in my life
like that time i was in vegas and
reflecting on the fact that people were
untrustworthy and they would never
actually stick by my side and yet none
of that was actually true about the
situation i was in right now or even
back then and i realized yeah if i want
to go out and make friends i gotta be
the one to initiate the conversation and
put in the effort to make plans with
them because most people actually are
just busy it's not like that person
doesn't like you or care about you it's
just that you got to be willing to put
in more effort obviously you don't want
a completely one-sided relationship but
it just feels like so many people think
they're the only ones putting an effort
into a relationship when the reality is
that people naturally grow apart from
each other at one point or another in
their lives and that's just the way that
life is and maintaining friendships is
supposed to be a constant effort between
both parties like usually friends aren't
just gonna magically fall into your lap
after you meet them once and they're
gonna be the ones hitting you up saying
hey let's hang out hey let's hang out
like that's just not how it works and
there's absolutely nothing wrong with
that that's just the way that people are
and the way that life is now before we
get into the next and probably most
important part of this toxic mindset
that you have i first want to talk about
something that used to completely drain
the personality charisma and effort out
of me which was a lack of sleep you guys
have probably experienced this but when
i used to get poor quality sleep i used
to feel like this lifeless zombie that
couldn't be bothered to put in effort to
reciprocate love to others and something
that has helped me tremendously with
improving my sleep is magnesium
breakthrough by bio-optimizers magnesium
is a mineral that many people are
neglecting and are in fact deficient in
because it's kind of difficult to get it
in our diets and it is one of the most
important minerals for regulating your
stress levels your testosterone and for
getting better sleep and the reason i
take magnesium breakthrough from by
optimizers is because it blends all of
the seven essential forms of magnesium
into one effective supplement i've been
taking magnesium breakthrough for
several months now and i can confidently
say that it has definitely improved my
quality of sleep i take a couple before
bed and it has definitely reduced the
amount of time it takes me to fall
asleep as well as improved the quality
of my sleep and it's super dope to see
all of the comments on my videos about
this product of how taking a magnesium
supplement has helped you guys with
sleep and your testosterone levels so if
you are interested in the supplement and
you want to reduce your stress levels
regulate your testosterone levels and
get better quality sleep then you can
click the link in the description or the
pinned comment it is
magnesiumbreakthrough.comcole and when
you use that link you will get a 10
discount on your order thank you to buy
optimizers for sponsoring this video the
next part of this mindset is what i
briefly covered in the first part of
this video and that is the completely
unrealistic expectations and assumptions
that you have about life and people so
let's create another hypothetical person
which might not actually be hypothetical
let's say this person has been consuming
a lot of self-improvement or similarly
related content talking about how fake
and superficial people are these days
these videos say that phones have
created a mass psychosis of sheep that
are boring with no personalities and so
this person starts believing it's the
people and the way the world is set up
that are the reasons as to why they
can't find real friends but if you think
everything in the world sucks and people
suck and life sucks is the problem
everything and everyone in the world or
is it you let's start off with this
assumption that people are faker now how
would you know if this is true have you
ever stopped to question whether this is
true or not or do you just consume what
you see online and have a few bad
experiences in real life and then you
think yep everybody's fake obviously i
didn't live a hundred years ago but when
i look back in the 1920s to 1950s era it
looks like everyone was forced to live a
certain lifestyle school was actually
necessary to get a job along with
marriage and not wearing two promiscuous
clothing and only conforming to
society's ways of thinking today we have
so much more freedom to be who we want
to be and do what we want to do you can
get a tattoo and still get hired almost
anywhere we no longer have to act all
upright and orderly and have much more
of an opportunity to express ourselves
in many different ways look it doesn't
matter whether you think this is a good
or bad thing the point i'm trying to
make is you need to start questioning
the validity of these assumptions and
beliefs you have about the world and
other people by doing what most people
fail to do going outside i think sneko
said it best in his video how people
view you too when he said when you speak
to someone face to face suddenly all the
disease and death and murder all that
you forget about when you're in the real
world talking to real people a lot of
people want to believe that the world is
an awful place and people are out to get
them because it makes it so much easier
to cope with and avoid the fact that
it's their own upbringings and beliefs
that have been shaped over time that is
the real reason that they can't find or
make any friends people truly do not
want to think critically about what
people tell them online in this internet
era so much so to the point that it's
coined the term brandolini's law which
states that the amount of effort
required to refute a bull claim is far
greater than the amount of effort
required to produce a bull claim and
based on my experience and what i've
seen online that's definitely a fact we
all secretly want to believe and be
spoon-fed false ideas like humanity is
doomed and people suck now because it
gives us the excuse to not do the
difficult inner work required to start
challenging and destroying our false
beliefs that will then open us up to
start developing healthy relationships
and it sounds super negative and mean
when i put it that way but it's actually
quite positive and hopeful when i go out
into the real world and experience real
people i'm always astonished by how much
more empathetic and friendly most people
actually are versus how most people act
online i think this woman said it best
in my last video and don't be afraid to
say hi to people most everybody wants
more friends and is afraid to talk to
people too so if you're the one who
makes that effort most of the time
they'll just be glad that somebody
talked to them there is definitely no
shortage of great high quality people
that you can vibe with in the world it's
just that you have inner work to do and
you have these completely unrealistic
expectations as to what these people
need to be like and how they need to act
and where they need to be in their lives
in order for you to be friends with them
there's this whole idea in the
self-improvement space that you always
need to be around successful people who
have the same or higher goals as you and
you need to remove everyone else and if
you can't find those people then you
have to be a lone wolf but think where
you're at in your life right now how
likely is it that you're gonna find the
people that match all that criteria that
you have in your head i think people are
just far too judgmental especially in
this space once they hear these things
of what people decide to do with their
lives and how they act of course i'm not
telling you to hang out with totally
unambitious life-sucking negative people
but god damn you don't have to hang out
with like this perfect entrepreneur
hustle type archetype that meets all
these list of criteria that you have in
your head if you've never even had a
solid
friend group in the first place and you
don't have the social skills or charisma
yet instead of having these outrageous
expectations of how people should be in
order for you to be friends with them
just hang out with cool positive people
that make you feel happy and put in the
effort required to maintain that
relationship people will come and go and
the real ones will stay and by the end
of all that you'll have the social
skills and charisma necessary to attract
those higher up type of people that you
want to attract into your life but right
now just practice the art of making
relationships with others by destroying
those inner negative false beliefs and
those assumptions that have been created
by all the things you've been consuming
over the years and let your guard down a
little or else you'll never get to that
point
thank you very much to all my patrons on
patreon if you don't know what this is
it's a platform separate from youtube
where i'm putting out exclusive content
you can't find anywhere else and you can
talk to me one-on-one over the phone on
there link in the description if you're
still having trouble with the whole
social skills and charisma part of
making relationships then check out my
entire playlist on building
relationships with others that will help
you a ton it's right here and thank you
so much for watching peace guys love you
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