Read People Like a Book by Patrick King Audiobook | Book Summary in Hindi

Readers Books Club
19 Mar 202425:19

Summary

TLDRThis video script from 'Read People Like a Book' by Patrick King offers insights into body language cues that reveal openness, defensiveness, evaluation, suspicion, readiness, reassurance, cooperation, frustration, confidence, nervousness, self-control, sadness, and acceptance. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing these non-verbal signals to navigate social interactions effectively, enhancing communication and understanding.

Takeaways

  • 😌 Touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger can indicate suspicion or secrecy.
  • 🎯 Recognizing body language is crucial for understanding others' intentions and emotions, which helps in building better connections.
  • 🤝 Open gestures like open hands and unbuttoned coats suggest openness and willingness to engage.
  • 🛡 Crossed arms are a universal sign of defensiveness, indicating disagreement or a closed-off mindset.
  • 🤔 The 'thinker' posture with hands on cheeks or a slightly bowed head reflects deep thought and potential disinterest in the speaker.
  • 🚪 Body orientation towards an exit signifies a desire to end the interaction or a lack of engagement.
  • 💪 Standing with hands on hips is a sign of readiness and confidence, often seen in goal-oriented individuals.
  • 🤝 Touching or grabbing someone's arm or shoulder can be a sign of agreement or an attempt to emphasize a point.
  • 😖 Hand wringing or thumb rubbing is a gesture that seeks reassurance, often seen when someone is uncertain or uncomfortable.
  • 🤔🔄 Sitting on the edge of a chair with arms extended and gripping the table edge signals eagerness to speak or a strong desire to be heard.
  • 😖 Pinching the flesh of the hand or using a pen as a substitute is indicative of a need for reassurance or a display of internal conflict.

Q & A

  • What is a common body language sign that may indicate suspicion or secrecy?

    -Touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger is a common body language sign that may indicate suspicion or secrecy.

  • How can recognizing others' gestures and feelings help in communication?

    -Recognizing others' gestures and feelings can help avoid misunderstandings and foster better connections, allowing for more open and effective communication.

  • What percentage of communication understanding is attributed to body language according to the script?

    -According to the script, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through body language, not the words.

  • What is the significance of open hands in body language?

    -Open hands are a sign of openness and honesty, indicating that a person is being genuine and is open to what is being said.

  • What does the gesture of crossing one's arms on the chest typically signify?

    -Crossing one's arms on the chest is a defensive gesture, indicating that the person is on guard or not open to the conversation.

  • What does the posture of sitting on the edge of a chair with feet towards the door suggest?

    -This posture suggests that the person wants to end the meeting or conversation and is ready to leave.

  • What is the connection between the steepled position of hands and confidence?

    -The steepled position of hands, where fingers are interlaced and raised, is a sign of confidence, satisfaction, and pride.

  • How can hand wringing or rubbing the thumbs together be interpreted in body language?

    -Hand wringing or rubbing the thumbs together is a gesture that often requires reassurance, indicating nervousness or uncertainty.

  • What does it mean when someone puts their hands on their hips while standing?

    -Standing with hands on hips is a signal of readiness, indicating that the person is eager, motivated, and prepared to take action.

  • What is the significance of touching or placing a hand on the chest in body language?

    -Placing a hand on the chest is a sign of acceptance and can indicate loyalty, honesty, and support for the speaker's culture, way, or thoughts.

  • How can the gesture of unbuttoning one's coat be interpreted in a conversation?

    -Unbuttoning one's coat during a conversation is a sign of openness, suggesting that the person is friendly, open to the ideas being discussed, and more likely to agree.

Outlines

00:00

🧐 Reading Suspicion and Secrecy Through Body Language

This paragraph delves into the subtle cues of suspicion and secrecy, such as touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing non-verbal signals in various relationships, including those with children, employees, bosses, and customers. The text also highlights the significance of body language in communication, noting that 80% of conversational understanding comes from body language rather than words. The paragraph introduces the book 'Read People Like a Book' by Patrick King, which serves as a guide to understanding human behavior and psychology through body language, and mentions the author's credentials and the practicality of his insights derived from scientific research and real-life experiences.

05:02

🤔 Decoding Defensiveness and Evaluation in Body Language

The second paragraph discusses defensive body language cues, such as crossing arms over the chest, which can indicate a reluctance to engage or a protective stance. It explains how this posture can influence group dynamics and suggests that recognizing and adjusting to such cues can prevent conflict. The paragraph also covers the body language of evaluation, including gestures that signal deep thought or disinterest, and advises on how to convert a person's evaluation into interest. It underscores the importance of being aware of these signals to navigate conversations effectively.

10:07

🏃‍♂️ Signs of Readiness and Their Impact on Communication

This section examines the body language associated with readiness, such as standing with hands on hips, which conveys eagerness and motivation. It provides insights into how this posture can be an indicator of a person's goal-oriented nature and competitive spirit. The paragraph also discusses the significance of sitting on the edge of a chair, which suggests preparedness to take action or make a decision. It advises salespeople on how to interpret these signs in a sales context and the importance of responding appropriately to maintain engagement and avoid losing potential sales.

15:08

🤝 Gestures of Reassurance and Cooperation in Social Interactions

The fourth paragraph explores gestures that seek reassurance, such as hand wringing and pinching the fleshy part of the hand, which often accompany feelings of uncertainty or the need for validation. It advises on how to provide comfort or assurance in these situations. The paragraph also identifies cooperative body language, including sitting on the edge of a chair and using open, engaging hand gestures, which signal a willingness to collaborate and support. It highlights the importance of recognizing and reciprocating these cooperative signals to foster positive relationships.

20:10

😤 Understanding Frustration, Confidence, and Nervousness Through Body Cues

This paragraph covers a range of emotional body language signals, from frustration indicated by tightly clenched hands to confidence shown by steepled positioning of fingers or feet on the desk. It also addresses nervous behaviors like hand-to-mouth gestures and pulling at one's pants, which can reveal a person's unease or the process of making a decision. The text advises on how to interpret these cues to better understand and respond to others' emotional states in various social and professional settings.

😔 Signs of Sadness, Self-Control, and Acceptance in Body Language

The final paragraph discusses body language associated with sadness, such as keeping the head in the hand or a blank stare, indicating disinterest or emotional distance. It also covers self-control gestures like holding one hand behind the back or clenching the ankles, which are used to manage strong feelings or stress. The paragraph concludes with signs of acceptance, including placing a hand on the chest to convey agreement or loyalty, and the calming touch used to convey reassurance. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing these signals to navigate interpersonal dynamics effectively.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Body Language

Body language refers to the non-verbal cues and gestures that individuals use to communicate feelings and intentions. In the context of the video, body language is the primary tool for understanding people's true thoughts and emotions, which is essential for effective communication. For example, the script mentions 'open hands' as a sign of honesty and openness, and 'crossed arms' indicating defensiveness.

💡Openness

Openness, in the script, is conveyed through certain body language cues that suggest a person is receptive and willing to engage honestly. It is a key theme of the video, as it helps distinguish between sincerity and deceit. The script provides examples such as 'open hands' and 'open arms' to illustrate openness, indicating a person's willingness to be transparent and approachable.

💡Defensiveness

Defensiveness is portrayed in the video as a body language response to a perceived threat or disagreement. It is characterized by gestures like crossing one's arms over the chest, which is a universal sign of resistance or unwillingness to engage. The script explains how this posture can influence group dynamics and suggests that recognizing defensiveness can help in navigating conversations more effectively.

💡Evaluation

Evaluation, in the context of body language, is the process of assessing or considering information, often non-verbally indicated by gestures such as placing hands on cheeks or bowing the head slightly. The video emphasizes the importance of recognizing when someone is in an evaluative state, as it can signal their level of interest or engagement with the conversation, as seen in the script's discussion of 'thinking by bowing the head slightly'.

💡Suspicion

Suspicion is a concept in the video that relates to the body language cues that suggest a person is doubtful or secretive. The script mentions specific gestures like touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger as indicators of suspicion. Understanding these cues can help in discerning a person's true feelings or intentions during a conversation.

💡Readiness

Readiness in the video is demonstrated through body language that signifies a person's preparedness to take action or engage fully in a situation. The script describes postures such as standing with hands on hips or sitting on the edge of a chair as signs of readiness, indicating a person's eagerness to participate or make a decision.

💡Reassurance

Reassurance is a theme in the video that involves gestures or actions that seek to provide comfort or confirmation. The script describes behaviors like hand wringing or pinching the fleshy part of the hand as signs that a person is in need of reassurance. Recognizing these cues can be crucial for offering support or validation in a conversation.

💡Cooperation

Cooperation, as discussed in the video, is shown through body language that indicates a willingness to work together or be part of a team. Examples from the script include sitting on the edge of a chair, making face-to-face hand gestures, and unbuttoning a coat, all of which suggest an open and engaged attitude towards collaboration.

💡Frustration

Frustration is depicted in the video as a state of emotional unease or irritation, often manifested through body language such as tightly clenched hands. The script uses this keyword to illustrate how a person's gestures can reveal their internal conflict or dissatisfaction, which is important for understanding their emotional state during interactions.

💡Confidence

Confidence in the video is associated with body language that reflects self-assurance and belief in one's abilities or opinions. The script mentions the 'steepled position' of interlaced fingers as a sign of confidence, suggesting that such gestures can convey a person's certainty and comfort in their environment or during discussions.

💡Nervousness

Nervousness is a concept in the video that relates to the body language cues that indicate a person is anxious or uneasy. The script describes behaviors such as placing hands on the mouth or pulling at one's pants as signs of nervousness, which can be crucial for recognizing a person's emotional state and adjusting the approach in communication accordingly.

💡Self-Control

Self-control, as discussed in the video, is the ability to manage one's emotions and reactions, especially in stressful situations. The script illustrates this with examples like holding one hand behind the back and squeezing it tightly, which is a method used to maintain composure and prevent a loss of temper, highlighting the importance of self-regulation in social interactions.

💡Sadness

Sadness in the video is conveyed through body language that indicates a person is feeling down or disheartened. The script describes gestures such as keeping the head in the hand or a blank stare, which are signs of a lack of interest or emotional engagement, helping to identify when someone may be experiencing sadness or disengagement.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance is portrayed in the video as a positive response or agreement, often shown through body language cues like placing a hand on the chest. The script explains that this gesture signifies full support and alignment with another's culture, way, or thoughts, and is a key concept for understanding trust and agreement in interpersonal relationships.

Highlights

Touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger can indicate suspicion or secrecy.

Understanding body language is crucial for effective communication and building connections.

People who are goal-oriented often display competitive and open postures.

Recognizing defensive body language, such as crossed arms, can help in navigating difficult conversations.

Open body language, including open hands and arms, is associated with honesty and openness.

Unbuttoning one's coat can signal openness and agreement during conversations.

The position of shrugging shoulders with open hands can express true feelings before speaking.

Children often display their hands openly when proud, but hide them when feeling guilty.

Body language accounts for 80% of what is understood in a conversation, according to Deborah Bull.

Patrick King's book 'Read People Like a Book' provides practical insights into understanding human psychology through body language.

Certain gestures, like hands on hips, indicate readiness and motivation to achieve goals.

Sitting on the edge of a chair signals preparedness to take action or make a decision.

Hand wringing and other self-soothing gestures can indicate a need for reassurance.

Cooperative body language includes sitting on the edge of the chair and using open hand gestures.

Clutching hands tightly can be a sign of frustration and a need for comfort or assurance.

The steepled position of interlaced fingers indicates confidence and satisfaction.

Nervousness can be manifested through hand gestures near the mouth or pulling at one's pants.

Self-control can be demonstrated by holding one hand behind the back and squeezing it tightly.

Sadness or boredom may be indicated by keeping the head in the hand with downcast eyes.

Signs of acceptance, such as placing a hand on the chest, show agreement and support.

Transcripts

play00:00

Usually, touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger is also a sign of suspicion or secrecy.

play00:05

Think briefly about someone you know who usually falls into this posture.

play00:11

You will find that he is goal oriented according to him. He enjoys competition.

play00:16

You need to recognise others' gestures and feelings

play00:19

to avoid becoming a cause of difficulty.

play00:21

You should know these basic body language signs of your child, employee, boss, customer

play00:24

or any unknown person.

play00:27

Because with this you will be able to talk openly with them

play00:30

and people will be able to connect well with you.

play00:32

People who deliberately want to hide their talk

play00:34

keep their hands on their mouths and talk at a distance of six to twelve inches from the listener;

play00:39

this signals that they are nervous.

play00:41

Holding one hand behind the back and squeezing it tightly while the other hand grasps the wrist or arm

play00:46

is a standard method of self-control.

play00:48

"Body language is a very powerful tool.

play00:51

We had body language before we had speech,

play00:54

and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words." - Deborah Bull

play00:59

Hello friends, welcome again to Readers Books Club.

play01:02

In this video we will learn about the book, “Read People Like a Book”, written by Patrick King.

play01:07

It will help to learn about people's behaviour from their body language.

play01:12

This book is an excellent guide to understanding human psychology and nature.

play01:15

With this, you will understand the mentality of yourself and others through small signals of your daily life.

play01:20

Patrick King is an international best-seller author and social skills coach.

play01:24

His learnings are so practical because

play01:26

he writes them with the help of different sources of Scientific Research,

play01:27

Academic Experience, Coaching and Real Life Experience.

play01:32

The art of reading people is an essential part of understanding human nature.

play01:36

Think of it like a cheat code

play01:38

that will help you see people's actions and words

play01:41

for what they do and say.

play01:43

To understand the book quickly, we have explained its important lessons one by one in 13 chapters.

play01:51

But before you get lost in this video, if you have come to our channel for the first time, then subscribe to the channel.

play01:56

Sometimes our videos may be a little long because we never compromise on the content of the video and book.

play02:02

Therefore it is very important to watch the video till the end

play02:04

So let's start.

play02:06

Chapter 1: Openness

play02:07

The signs of OPENNESS will help you to distinguish between a liar and a genuine person.

play02:11

Many gestures show OPENNESS.

play02:14

The first of these is open hands.

play02:15

One feeling that most of us readily associate with honesty and openness

play02:20

is open arms.

play02:21

When people are frustrated,

play02:23

they put empty hands on their chests

play02:25

and gesture like, "What do you want from me?"

play02:28

Apart from this, the position of shrugging shoulders with open hands,

play02:31

in which the palms are also facing upwards,

play02:33

people use this position in many expressive ways

play02:36

to show their true feelings and character before the person in front has spoken.

play02:43

See children; they openly display their hands when proud of their achievements.

play02:48

But when they feel guilty or suspicious about a situation,

play02:51

they hide their hands in their pockets or behind their backs.

play02:55

The following symbol is the opening coat.

play02:57

People who are open or friendly towards you

play02:59

often unbutton or even unbutton their coats in your presence.

play03:04

The author, in a research,

play03:05

video-tape-recorded the meeting.

play03:07

Found that those whose coat buttons were open

play03:10

had more chances of consent.

play03:12

The one who has just changed his mind to agree with your words

play03:15

will spread his arms and unbutton his coat.

play03:18

Keeping him in the same posture can achieve your mutual purpose more quickly.

play03:22

You may have noticed the "come together" sign at times when the conversation was going well.

play03:27

In which the person sitting in the group unbuttons his coat,

play03:29

opens his legs,

play03:31

and moves to the edge of the chair closer to the desk or table.

play03:34

This signal occurs in most cases during a verbal conversation

play03:37

that shows a mutual agreement, a solution, or generally a positive expression of working together for both needs.

play03:43

Chapter 2: Defensiveness

play03:45

Every player knows the umpire's gesture of crossing his arms on his chest.

play03:49

In this, the referee wants to say that he is ready to defend his decision:

play03:53

talk to another umpire about it.

play03:55

Also, crossing the hand on the chest as a defensive gesture indicates to the player

play04:00

that you have argued too much,

play04:02

so now I do not want to get into it.

play04:04

The cross-arm position is common in our daily lives

play04:07

and is used worldwide to show defensiveness.

play04:10

Very young children cross their arms when neglecting their parents' instructions.

play04:15

In this position, people try to make their mindset opposite to any sudden attack or fixed thing.

play04:21

This gesture is the easiest to understand of all the signals the author researched.

play04:25

It is also a gesture that influences the behaviour of others.

play04:29

In a group of four or more people, you can control the whole group by crossing your arms in a defensive position.

play04:35

Maintain this feeling while listening

play04:36

and speaking,

play04:38

and notice how quickly other group members follow your posture.

play04:42

Once two of them adopt and stick to this posture,

play04:46

other members are also influenced.

play04:48

Doing this will make it easy to divide the group into smaller subgroups or persuade them.

play04:53

Unfortunately, many people are unaware

play04:56

that when the other person crosses their arms,

play04:59

they sign that they have become defensive.

play05:02

Those who don't know this, instead of engaging with the defensive person

play05:05

to bring out their feelings and find out what their needs are,

play05:09

continue with the same thing

play05:11

that caused the other person to become defensive in the first place.

play05:14

Due to this, often, the defensive person starts closing his mind towards your words

play05:18

and denies whatever you are saying.

play05:20

So when you do this to the person in front of you,

play05:23

try to change where needed by thinking again about what you are talking to him or how you behave.

play05:30

Chapter 3: Evaluation

play05:31

When a person is in such a position,

play05:32

where he is completely lost in solving a problem.

play05:36

People who make a thinker-like posture with their hands on their cheeks

play05:39

are involved in some thinking

play05:41

in some postures in which sometimes their eyes start blinking lightly.

play05:44

In this, they bring their hands to face, rest their chin in their palm,

play05:48

and extend their index finger to the cheek; The rest of the fingers remain under the mouth.

play05:52

In this, their thought pattern is hostile towards the speaker.

play05:55

So your job is to convert their evaluation into interest.

play05:58

The next sign is thinking by bowing the head slightly.

play06:00

Charles Darwin observed in his studies

play06:02

that animals and humans turn their heads whenever they hear something that interests them.

play06:08

From a very young age, women readily understand the importance of this gesture:

play06:11

it is a signal to listen attentively.

play06:13

They use it while conversing with the man they want to influence.

play06:18

Once the speaker knows this feeling,

play06:21

he can engage with his audience more positively

play06:24

and gauge how well his information gets across.

play06:28

This is especially helpful when the speaker wants to cover a lot of information in a short amount of time.

play06:34

But when it starts getting overloaded, listeners show disinterest towards extra details.

play06:39

Body posture changes in this. The head straightens instead of bowing,

play06:42

the back straightens, then bends again.

play06:45

Glancing at the ceiling, clocks, or other objects,

play06:48

some people position their bodies as if pointing toward the exit.

play06:53

If the conversation has reached this level, then as a speaker, you should understand that

play06:58

they are nonverbally giving you the signal to stop.

play07:01

Chapter 4: Suspicion and Secretiveness

play07:02

Pointing towards the exit of the feet or the whole body is its sign.

play07:06

You will often see that, suddenly, someone has bent his body

play07:10

so that his feet are towards the door.

play07:12

This gesture indicates that he wants to end the meeting, conversation, or whatever is happening.

play07:17

Changing his body is telling you he wants to go.

play07:21

But being aware of it is one thing,

play07:23

and doing something about it is another.

play07:25

Either do something different to get him to turn towards you and lean forward, or let him go.

play07:29

Continuing to talk to someone who wants to leave will not benefit you in the long term.

play07:35

People you meet in public also give similar signals.

play07:38

Sometimes during the last half hour of the conversation,

play07:40

they start keeping their body in such a posture as if they want to leave.

play07:44

As an intelligent host, you should notice this signal

play07:47

and honestly say, It's getting late.

play07:49

Time flies by when we are together.

play07:52

You may see that they move their body to the edge of the chair after you speak,

play07:57

another supporting sign that they want to leave the meeting.

play08:00

Usually, touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger is also a sign of suspicion or secrecy.

play08:06

Once, a student was discussing books with Professor Birdwistel at the university.

play08:11

When asked about his opinion of a new classic book,

play08:14

the student rubbed his nose and said that he liked the book.

play08:18

"The truth is," said the professor, "you didn't like the book."

play08:22

In conversation, the student admitted that he had only read a few pages and "didn't like them".

play08:28

Chapter 5: Readiness

play08:29

Standing with hands on hips is a signal of readiness.

play08:32

This is the first of such gestures that we can identify.

play08:36

You often see this during a game

play08:38

when an athlete waits to join the game.

play08:42

When a person stands with his hands on his hips and legs spread wide in a business meeting,

play08:46

he is likely interested in getting the people present to follow his instructions.

play08:52

Apart from this, when you are pursuing such a goal with entire motivation,

play08:58

pay attention to your posture; often, you also stand like this.

play09:01

A high achiever often does this because it non-verbally shows his dedication towards a goal.

play09:07

Think briefly about someone you know who usually falls into this posture.

play09:13

You will find that he is goal oriented according to him. He enjoys competition.

play09:17

To understand this, the author has kept a record of the participants

play09:21

who have attended his seminars for many years.

play09:23

About 75 per cent of them, while asking questions during the first hour of the workshop,

play09:27

had their coats off, buttons unbuttoned, or hands-on-hips posture.

play09:31

This is a posture in which the person in front expresses his desire to be more capable.

play09:36

However, this is a positive sign, so there is no reason to worry from your side,

play09:40

and if you are also a goal-oriented person,

play09:42

you can easily connect with them

play09:45

and share your ideas.

play09:46

This can help you reach the goal set together.

play09:50

The next sign of readiness is the person sitting on the chair's edge.

play09:55

In several videotape recordings, the author has observed

play09:57

that humans move to the edge of a chair when they are ready to compromise, help, buy, accept, agree, or draw a conclusion.

play10:07

It shows that the person is entirely prepared to take action.

play10:10

Remember the last time you signed a contract?

play10:13

You were probably sitting on the edge of your chair for a few minutes.

play10:16

If you didn't like the deal,

play10:18

you might have used the same gesture we learned in the previous chapter to show your feelings to the salesman

play10:23

before getting up and walking away.

play10:25

Many salespeople with whom the author and his team discussed

play10:29

agree that people show their excitement to buy by being on the edge of their seats.

play10:34

They also decided that when someone offers them too many objections between sales

play10:39

and then sits on the edge of their chair, the customer gets up and prepares to leave.

play10:43

If you are a salesman and want to get back the lost sales,

play10:47

then it is time to bounce back.

play10:49

If you have nothing new to rekindle that customer's interest in your product,

play10:53

you must spend time with other potential customers.

play10:57

The next signal of readiness is arms extended while hands gripping the table's edge.

play11:02

While sitting or standing, this posture signals to say,

play11:06

"Listen to me; I have something to say," with a strong command.

play11:09

Imagine the condition where Junior says to his senior in this posture,

play11:13

"What will you remove me from the job? I quit the job.

play11:16

You need to recognise others' gestures and feelings

play11:19

to avoid becoming a cause of difficulty.

play11:21

You should know these basic body language signs of your child, employee, boss, customer

play11:24

or any unknown person.

play11:27

Because with this you will be able to talk openly with them

play11:30

and people will be able to connect well with you.

play11:32

But if you are often entirely oblivious to their nonverbal messages,

play11:36

the result is always an emotional upheaval

play11:39

that can cause relationship difficulties.

play11:41

Chapter 6: Reassurance

play11:42

Among young people, hand wringing by rubbing the thumbs together is one of the most common gestures

play11:48

that require reassurance.

play11:50

During this time, pinching with the hand,

play11:51

chewing something

play11:52

or putting a pen or pencil in the mouth for sucking is another gesture.

play11:56

When a woman says or hears something uncomfortable,

play12:00

she needs to be gently explained to assure them.

play12:04

So ask them, "Are you sure what you just said?"

play12:08

She'll probably try to ensure you she is

play12:11

or she'll get defensive and refuse to answer.

play12:14

In either case, she's signalling that she doesn't quite believe what she's said,

play12:19

needing reassurance.

play12:21

Another sign to look for reassurance is pinching the fleshy part of the hand.

play12:26

Both males and females use it.

play12:28

However, it is more typical in women.

play12:30

In one study, the author first gave participants coffee

play12:33

so that they would keep their hands busy while watching the playback.

play12:35

They wanted to see how many people would stop drinking coffee

play12:39

and start playing snuff.

play12:40

They found that most of them first used the cup as a shield in front of their eyes,

play12:45

as if it was trying to stop them from doing an urgent task,

play12:49

then put it down and continued pinching.

play12:51

Different finger gestures express people's worries or internal conflicts.

play12:55

A child needing reassurance sucks their thumb,

play12:58

a student nervous about exams bites their nails,

play13:01

and a taxpayer nervous about payment due dates gnaw at their cuticles

play13:06

until they hurt.

play13:07

Sometimes students and taxpayers

play13:09

use substitutes for fingers

play13:12

and use pens and pencils for cutting gestures.

play13:15

People who prefer something other than the taste of plastic, metal or wood use paper or cloth.

play13:21

If you can give assurance according to the need at such a time,

play13:24

then your opponent can be made an ally.

play13:26

Chapter 7: Cooperation

play13:27

In this, you will know people who want to help

play13:30

and how they express their wishes.

play13:32

The author was part of a team meeting.

play13:34

The issues involved were patent rights, equity positions, royalty, research and development cost,

play13:39

motivating customers, production and distributors for more sales.

play13:44

As soon as the conversation started,

play13:45

one of the opposing team members began to non- verbally indicate that he was ready by sitting in the chair

play13:48

and putting his feet on his toes.

play13:52

that he is ready.

play13:53

The team members of the author listened to him with an open mind

play13:56

and satisfied his objections thoroughly.

play13:59

This influenced him positively, and he became a good team supporter.

play14:03

He understood the concern of both parties

play14:05

and suggested such a method for the benefit of both.

play14:08

Many times this must have happened to you when you felt that someone was supporting you ultimately,

play14:13

but suddenly something went wrong. He was calling you by first name,

play14:16

but now he started calling you formally.

play14:18

His smile changed,

play14:20

and he was staring at you with lowered brows.

play14:23

You might have felt entirely embarrassed to deal with such a sudden change.

play14:28

In reality, he might not have liked anything about you.

play14:31

In such a situation, it is better not to let cooperation turn towards resistance.

play14:35

Instead, watch their response by watching their body language.

play14:39

Here are some cooperative symbols with which you can do this:

play14:42

Sitting on the edge of the chair: This is a cooperative symbol

play14:45

that you are interested in what you are saying.

play14:47

An example is a buyer shifting his weight towards the edge of the chair to show excitement to sign the contract.

play14:55

Make face-to-face hand gestures:

play14:56

Do not cross your arms;

play14:58

keep them open and use them for conversational gestures.

play15:02

Unbutton your coat:

play15:03

This gesture shows that you are open to the person and their thoughts

play15:07

and paying attention to what they say.

play15:11

Bowed head:

play15:12

Talking with a bowed head in between shows that

play15:15

you are ready to give as much support as possible.

play15:18

You are not close-minded towards their talks but are taking interest.

play15:22

Chapter 8: Frustration

play15:23

Tightly clenched hands are a sign of frustration.

play15:26

In one of his seminars, the author observed a videotape recording of a conversation

play15:29

in which the participant grips his hands tightly when in tension.

play15:33

During the last part of the conversation,

play15:35

he sits with both hands on the table.

play15:37

There is a disconnect between their spoken words and gestures.

play15:41

It is also used to show how sometimes we try to convey

play15:46

when people are taking things to mean something else.

play15:48

what we mean non-verbally,

play15:52

In this example, the participant perceives that

play15:55

his opponent is trying to belittle him with an "I win, you lose" dialogue.

play15:57

Trying to reduce his importance by talking like this.

play16:02

So he clenches his hands,

play16:03

stares at his opponent,

play16:05

puts his body in attack mode

play16:07

and crosses his legs.

play16:09

and tries to say, "I am open-minded

play16:12

and want to settle this."

play16:14

His opponent feels that his verbal communication

play16:17

contradicts his beliefs

play16:18

and does not believe what is displayed.

play16:21

He gets false confidence,

play16:23

and responds by trying even harder to win the conversation.

play16:27

This method of his proves to be wrong

play16:29

because increased aggression increases the fear of the person in front.

play16:32

At this point, the frustrated person either ends the conversation

play16:35

or becomes very angry.

play16:37

But the situation can worsen when you do nothing positive to improve it.

play16:42

In this case, the speaker or listener believed to be attacking

play16:46

should have tried to remove the doubt in the other person's mind.

play16:50

Those who try to convince others by holding their hands tightly

play16:53

do not get much success.

play16:55

In such a situation, you need to give comfort or assurance to the frustrated person

play16:59

to reach a mutual agreement.

play17:02

Chapter 9: Confidence

play17:03

Sitting in a steepled position. This gesture is made

play17:06

when people interlace their fingers

play17:07

and form something like a church steeple.

play17:09

It means you are feeling confident, satisfied and proud.

play17:13

It shows that you have complete confidence in what you are saying.

play17:17

There are two types of stippling, open and coNvert forms.

play17:20

Women typically use the confidential form or lower-stippling gesture.

play17:24

She keeps her hands in her lap while sitting

play17:26

or folds her fingers together instead of a belt while standing.

play17:30

The more important you feel,

play17:32

the higher you raise your hands.

play17:34

Another way of stippling is when the hands are more closely joined

play17:38

this signals shows more confidence.

play17:40

Sitting with feet on the desk is also a sign of looking confident.

play17:43

People who put their feet on things show non-verbal dominance or ownership.

play17:48

Bosses often do this.

play17:50

You must have often seen car owners touching their car or leaning towards it while talking to someone about their car;

play17:57

it is also a signal that they are showing ownership over their vehicle.

play18:00

Apart from this, you must have often seen couples keeping their hands around their partner's waist;

play18:05

they want to say non-verbally that only they have authority over that person

play18:10

and no one else.

play18:11

This gesture shows not only ownership but also love.

play18:14

Chapter 10: Nervousness

play18:15

People who deliberately want to hide their talk

play18:17

keep their hands on their mouths and talk at a distance of six to twelve inches from the listener;

play18:22

this signals that they are nervous.

play18:23

Also, sometimes, in nervousness, a person places his elbows on the table or desk,

play18:29

forms a pyramid with his forearms,

play18:31

and places both hands together directly in front of his mouth.

play18:34

He keeps this posture not only while talking but also while listening.

play18:37

Such people play a cat-and-mouse game with the person in front of them.

play18:41

If you do not talk to them openly,

play18:44

they will also not speak openly because of shame.

play18:47

Apart from this, pulling the pants while sitting is also a sign of nervousness.

play18:50

The gesture of pulling the pants is related to the decision process.

play18:53

When a decision occurs in someone's mind,he pulls his pants more

play18:57

and starts shaking in his chair.

play19:00

After taking the decision, the pulling of the pants stops.

play19:02

Using this behaviour as a barometer, you can gauge

play19:07

how close the other person is to making a decision

play19:10

the faster one moves, the more the chances of being close to decision.

play19:14

Chapter 11: Self-Control

play19:15

From an early age, we are taught that

play19:17

Patience and Perseverance are necessary to accomplish goals and purposes.

play19:21

Self-control is essential for this.

play19:23

We often use this method to overcome frustration and avoid losing our temper.

play19:29

It allows us to behave in a socially acceptable manner.

play19:32

Holding one hand behind the back and squeezing it tightly while the other hand grasps the wrist or arm

play19:38

is a standard method of self-control.

play19:40

These can be seen at many business meetings or public events

play19:43

when an important person, surrounded by stress, pressure or anxiety,

play19:47

still tries to control it.

play19:49

Closed ankles and clenched hands also show self-control.

play19:52

Remember that moment in your life when you went to the dentist?

play19:55

When it was time for your dental treatment

play19:58

If you had noticed your feet your heels would be locked,

play20:02

and your hands will be clenched.

play20:03

Usually, we resort to this posture to suppress our strong feelings.

play20:07

In a stressful job interview,

play20:09

many people sit with their ankles closed.

play20:12

During the interview, when they were uncomfortable, irritable, or unsatisfied with what was happening.

play20:17

they would lock their ankles like this.

play20:20

The next sign is stopping the hand or holding the wrist.

play20:22

Along with humans, animals also use other patterns while expressing internal thoughts.

play20:28

When a person is unable to express his feelings directly in anger

play20:32

So in desperation he starts scratching his head

play20:34

and rubbing the back of his neck.

play20:36

Then he starts showing mosaic movements or threatening poses,

play20:39

like selling your fist

play20:41

Holding your wrists there.

play20:42

Taking a threatening step forward to scare or intimidate.

play20:45

And he expressed his feeling in one place like hitting the image with his fist.

play20:48

or express by kicking in the door.

play20:51

These activities are such a sign

play20:52

About which you can connect with the emotional state of others.

play20:55

And one must be aware to face them

play20:57

Chapter 12: Sadness

play20:58

Keeping the head in the hand is a sign of boredom;

play21:00

the head's weight is in the palm, and the eyes remain downcast.

play21:04

That person does not bother to hide any feelings about what is happening.

play21:09

He places his open hand on the side of his head in a position of regret,

play21:13

tilts his chin, and allows the eyelids to droop

play21:16

so that his eyes are half-covered.

play21:18

Another sign of boredom is a blank stare.

play21:20

In this, the person in front tries to show that I am seeing you but not listening.

play21:25

The person in front stares at you like a zombie.

play21:28

About him, you feel that he is listening. But in reality, he is not interested in what you say.

play21:34

In this, he stares at you, his eyes rarely blinking.

play21:38

The lack of flashing signals indicates that he is unconscious,

play21:42

sleeping with open eyes,

play21:44

hostile towards you,

play21:46

or bored with what is happening.

play21:50

Chapter 13: Acceptance

play21:51

Signs of acceptance show the response and agreement we get from others.

play21:55

Understanding this is essential so you can judge people in real life.

play21:59

One of life's most challenging situations is facing someone

play22:03

you think agrees with you

play22:07

but does not.

play22:08

This often happens in a relationship where you trust others,

play22:12

but he actually deceives you.

play22:14

That's why you can test such a person on how much he is stable on trust through acceptance.

play22:19

Understanding his gestures minute by minute begins the road to better understanding.

play22:23

The gesture of placing the writing on the chest clearly shows acceptance.

play22:27

It means that person fully supports your culture, way or thoughts.

play22:32

For centuries, humans have kept their hands on their chests to show feelings of loyalty,honesty and devotion.

play22:37

This gesture dates back to Ancient Roman times

play22:40

when greetings were done with one hand on the chest and the other to show commitment to Roman armies.

play22:46

We Indians also use this gesture while pledging allegiance to our flag.

play22:50

Apart from this, people use this sign to show their truth.

play22:54

member when you were a kid and swore

play22:57

or said something you wanted your friends to believe?

play23:01

In addition to raising your hand with your palm, bring your other hand to your chest for support.

play23:07

Except on formal occasions, women rarely use this gesture to show truthfulness, dedication, or loyalty.

play23:14

Instead, when a female brings one or both hands to her chest,

play23:18

it is usually a defensive gesture

play23:20

that signals sudden shock or surprise.

play23:23

Touching is also a sign of acceptance.

play23:25

Most people try to show that they agree with the people they like by touching them often.

play23:31

People who reach out and touch

play23:34

or grab the other person's shoulder or arm

play23:37

try to interrupt or emphasize something.

play23:40

But most people use touch as a calming feeling.

play23:44

Usually, it means, don't worry, I'm with you; everything will be alright.

play23:49

Thank you friends, this was the summary of Read People Like a Book.

play23:52

Friends, what we have learned so far from this book, let us repeat it once so that it is easy to remember.

play23:58

Talking by opening the hands outwards

play24:00

and the coat buttons is a sign of openness

play24:03

that the person in front is open- minded to your words and wants to listen.

play24:07

The cross-arm position is a defensive posture.

play24:10

In which the person in front wants to tell you non-verbally that he does not like your words or the way of saying them.

play24:16

That's why it needs to be changed.

play24:17

Thinking by bowing the head a little is a sign of evaluation.

play24:20

In this posture, a person is thinking very carefully about a decision.

play24:24

If someone is sitting on a chair watching exit

play24:27

so that his body or feet

play24:29

are towards the door

play24:30

he non-verbally wants to say you finish it quickly; I have to go.

play24:34

In addition, the gesture of placing the hand on the chest shows acceptance.

play24:38

It means that that person fully supports your culture, way or thoughts.

play24:43

Thank you friends.

play24:44

If you have reached this point in the book summary, it means that you also love books as much as we do.

play24:50

But if you have come to our channel for the first time and have not subscribed the channel,

play24:54

then definitely subscribe the channel and also press the bell icon.

play24:58

So that you can enjoy our two new book summaries every week and learn something consistently

play25:04

You can tell us which book summary you want to see on our channel by commenting.

play25:09

See you soon with more great videos, thank you so much.

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Ähnliche Tags
Body LanguageNonverbal CuesPsychologyCommunicationSocial SkillsHuman NatureBehavioral SignsInterpersonalConflict ResolutionSelf-Control
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