The impact of social media & alcohol on loneliness
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a deeply personal journey of isolation and struggle with bulimia, pneumonia, and the pressures of social media. After losing friends and experiencing a lung collapse, they found solace in Tumblr, gaining a large following but also facing online harassment. Moving away and leaving the platform behind, they embraced sobriety and a new focus on mental health advocacy. The narrative highlights the importance of using social media positively and finding community in sobriety groups like Club Soda, emphasizing self-acceptance and the value of genuine connections.
Takeaways
- 😔 The speaker feels alone and hopeless, struggling with a sense of isolation and a lack of support from friends.
- 💔 They experienced a serious health crisis, with pneumonia leading to a collapsed lung, which was exacerbated by their bulimia.
- 🏠 After a period of intensive care and housebound recovery, they lost many friends and turned to Tumblr for social interaction and validation.
- 📈 Their online presence on Tumblr grew rapidly, gaining a large following, but this came at the cost of increased isolation in real life.
- 🥂 The speaker discusses the pressures of drinking culture, especially during university years, and the anxiety it caused them.
- 🚫 They faced severe online harassment after making a video about their bulimia, which included threatening messages and criticism.
- 🔄 In response to the negative experiences, they moved to a new location, deleted their Tumblr account, and sought a fresh start.
- 🍻 They decided to stop drinking due to its negative impacts on their daily life, which was a difficult but necessary change.
- 🤝 The speaker found support and a sense of community in sobriety groups and online platforms like Club Soda.
- 🌐 They now use social media to raise awareness about mental health and connect with others, rather than seeking personal validation.
- 🚫 The script highlights the dangers of idolizing social media personas and the importance of being authentic and true to oneself.
Q & A
What was the initial reason for the speaker feeling alone and hopeless?
-The speaker felt alone and hopeless due to a lack of friends and feeling unimportant, which was exacerbated by their health issues and the loss of a social circle during recovery from pneumonia and a collapsed lung.
How did the speaker's health condition affect their social life?
-The speaker's health condition, specifically pneumonia and a collapsed lung due to bulimia, led to a period of housebound recovery, during which they lost many friends and felt more isolated.
What platform did the speaker use to cope with their isolation and find a sense of community?
-The speaker used Tumblr to cope with isolation, where they could upload and reblog pictures and content they liked, eventually gaining a substantial following.
How did the speaker's use of Tumblr impact their daily routine and mental state?
-The speaker became increasingly dependent on Tumblr for validation and social interaction, spending up to 12 hours a day on the platform, which further isolated them in the real world.
What was the speaker's attitude towards drinking games and social drinking in their earlier years?
-The speaker took drinking games seriously and felt pressure to conform to social expectations around drinking to fit in and make friends.
How did the speaker's relationship with alcohol evolve over time?
-Initially, the speaker enjoyed social drinking, but as they grew older, they began to experience hangovers and panic attacks, which were exacerbated by alcohol consumption, leading to a decision to stop drinking.
What was the impact of the speaker's video about being bulimic on their online experience?
-The video was reblocked by a popular figure on Tumblr, leading to increased visibility but also to negative and harmful anonymous messages, which deeply affected the speaker.
Why did the speaker decide to move away and delete their Tumblr account?
-The speaker moved away and deleted their Tumblr account to have a fresh start and avoid being known primarily for their online presence, especially after receiving disturbing messages.
How did the speaker's approach to social media change after their decision to stop drinking?
-The speaker began using social media to talk about mental health and support others, shifting the focus from self-promotion to helping others and engaging in meaningful conversations.
What role did the speaker find in the sobriety community, and how did it help them?
-The speaker found a supportive community on Club Soda, which provided a space to connect with others who had made a lifestyle choice to be sober, offering relatability and a sense of belonging.
What advice does the speaker have for young people regarding the use of social media and the potential for idolizing others?
-The speaker advises young people to use social media in a way that works for them, to avoid becoming obsessed with unrealistic portrayals of life, and to be true to themselves by sharing positive messages.
Outlines
😔 Struggles with Loneliness and Online Validation
The speaker discusses feelings of isolation and hopelessness, exacerbated by health issues such as pneumonia and bulimia, which led to a period of housebound recovery and the loss of friends. To cope, they turned to the internet and Tumblr, where they found a sense of community and validation through increasing followers. However, this online presence led to an unhealthy obsession, spending up to 12 hours a day seeking validation, which only served to deepen their real-world loneliness. The narrative also touches on the pressures of social drinking and the negative impacts of excessive alcohol consumption, including panic attacks and anxiety.
🍻 Transitioning to Sobriety and Social Media Positivity
The speaker reflects on their decision to stop drinking due to its negative effects on their daily life and identity. They express the sense of loss associated with giving up something they enjoyed but also the loneliness that came with it, as they could no longer participate in the same social activities. They also discuss the shift in their social media usage from seeking personal validation to focusing on mental health advocacy. The speaker finds support in the 'Club Soda' community, which is a group of like-minded individuals who have chosen a sober lifestyle, providing a sense of belonging and relatability among peers. They also caution against the dangers of idolizing social media personas and encourage authenticity and self-acceptance.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Alone
💡Bulimia
💡Tumblr
💡Validation
💡Pneumonia
💡Drinking Games
💡Panic Attacks
💡Mental Health
💡Sobriety
💡Club Soda
Highlights
The individual felt alone and hopeless, lacking a sense of belonging and care from others.
Suffered from pneumonia due to bulimia, leading to a collapsed lung and a period of intensive care and housebound recovery.
Lost friends during the recovery period and turned to Tumblr for social interaction and validation.
Became successful on Tumblr, gaining a following of 20,000 within months, but at the cost of isolation and increasing dependence on the platform.
Spent up to 12 hours a day on Tumblr, seeking validation from the internet due to a lack of social engagement in the real world.
Engaged in serious drinking games, feeling pressured to conform to social expectations and fearing judgment for not drinking.
Experienced panic attacks and anxiety, possibly exacerbated by the stress of university life and the effects of hangovers.
Created a video about being bulimic, which was reblogged by a popular figure on Tumblr, leading to both support and severe online harassment.
Received disturbing anonymous messages criticizing the bulimia video and encouraging self-harm.
Moved to a new location and deleted Tumblr to start fresh, aiming to avoid the negative aspects of internet fame.
Stopped drinking due to its negative impact on daily life and the desire for a healthier lifestyle.
Felt a sense of loss and loneliness after quitting drinking, as it was a significant part of social identity and activities.
Uses social media now to discuss mental health, shifting the focus from self-promotion to supporting others.
Found the community on Club Soda helpful, appreciating the support and camaraderie among those who choose a sober lifestyle.
Participated in sobriety groups and found value in connecting with peers who understand the challenges of a sober lifestyle.
Advocates for using social media in a way that is beneficial to one's mental health, rather than focusing on self-promotion or comparison.
Encourages authenticity on social media, suggesting that one should share positive messages and build a following based on personal beliefs.
Transcripts
I feel alone I start feeling hopeless
I've lost a point because nobody cares
about me I've got no friends I wasn't
really bothering with life apart from
the internet so I felt like the only
thing I'm good at
[Music]
you
[Music]
when I was 16 I got pneumonia and the
pneumonia was left so long that it
caused my lung to collapse it was
because I was bulimic I was in the
intensive care for two weeks
and then when I came out I was house
bound for like three months while I was
recovering and I lost quite a lot of my
friends for Matt so I ended up signing
up to tumblr to pass the time you
uploaded pictures of yourself or things
you liked and then you just reblogged
them like you would retweet a tweet I
was becoming more and more successful on
tumblr because of the amount I was using
it so I was dedicating all my time to it
so my following went up like to like
20,000 in the space of a few months it
ended up that I was spending 12 hours a
day on it because I was isolated and
because I was spending so much time on
my own and because my friends weren't
inviting me out anymore the only like
validation I had was from the internet
and it although I didn't feel alone on
the internet I was alone like in the
real world which made me want to be on
it more
[Music]
I was definitely one of those people who
took their drinking games quite
seriously right if you weren't drinking
your two fingers measure then I would
pick you up on it and say come on that's
not tea fingers get that down I think a
lot of it is because it's what's
expected if you leave him from freshers
week
well the everyone wants to make friends
you want to fit in so just go and say oh
I'm not gonna drink you would be worried
about what I would be worried about
feeling that everyone thinking I was
weird or something like that but then as
I got older when I started having
hangovers I'd start to feel more panicky
and get panic attacks sort of around my
second year of university and I think
that could partly have been to do with
just moving to uni and that being a big
change for a young person to feel
unsettled and start having these anxiety
attacks which were made obviously worse
by hangovers because drinking can cause
anxiety the following morning I'd say it
ruined my lis teenage years because I
decided to make a video about being
bulimic hi welcome back to my channel
what I talk all about mental health
the video was reblocked by Jamie Ryan D
who was the biggest person on tumblr
with like 230,000 followers like he had
the most followers on the internet when
I was bulimic
I was just trunky I was a normal-sized
and so people thought I was lying about
what had happened and that I'd never had
bulimia and I started getting anonymous
messages about the video where I talked
about an eating disorder you look fat in
that video you should have killed
yourself
I think another person messaged me like
you shouldn't you should have just hung
yourself so I ended up moving to my
dad's which is five hours away
and I decided then I was gonna have a
fresh start
and so I deleted tumblr because I didn't
want to go into my new college being the
person that everyone knows from the
internet could go for an hour to flower
press a to be honest could do with that
I decided to stop drinking a few years
ago and the main reason for this was
because it was having starting to have a
bit of a negative impact on my daily
life I used to really obviously enjoy
drinking going out and it was very much
one of the things I was good at and to
lose that it felt like sort of losing a
little part of me and who I was and
leaving that person behind as being a
really big thing for me it's made me
feel lonely in the sense that although I
am still going out and seeing my friends
I can't do the same things as them
anymore so I don't feel so much like I'm
part of the group just don't feel like I
really belong in anything or I'm a part
of anything anymore the way I was when
we were all family and we were all doing
this together
[Music]
I do you think that you have to use
social media in a way that works for you
and the difference is that now I use
social media to talk about mental health
so I mainly tweet about mental health
and their messages for other people and
so I don't use social media to focus on
myself anymore which makes it easier
because it allows me to focus on myself
in the real world instead
the thing I found really helpful about
being on club soda is the fact that
everyone's so supportive a lot of people
it's now just a lifestyle choice and
they're happy with it I have been to
like sobriety groups so I know other
people who are sober but they're mostly
quite a bit older than me and so it's
just not the same like sometimes you
need someone your own age to relate to
in these things they do do club soda
events and they're at the moment they've
mainly been in London but there have
been a few around scattered around the
other places in the country and yeah
it'd be nice to go and maybe meet some
people who are totally fine with having
an alcohol free drink in the pub the
more people that are using Instagram the
more people there are to idolize and if
a young person is doing that they're
going to become obsessed with these fake
words and then that they're gonna feel
rubbish about their own words if why am
I not doing this I don't have to do that
I can just be myself and I can just put
out nice messages that I believe in and
have a following for that
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