Phoenix Seminar - PART 3 - UNLOCKING Your POTENTIAL
Summary
TLDRThis session on unlocking human potential explores the significant differences in personal performance and success. It presents a formula for human potential: inborn attributes, acquired attributes, and attitude. The talk emphasizes the critical role of self-concept—formed by beliefs, values, and past experiences—in determining personal success. It discusses how improving self-esteem by affirming 'I like myself' can boost performance and well-being. The session also addresses overcoming fear of failure and rejection, suggesting that these fears can be unlearned through positive self-concept and self-esteem development.
Takeaways
- 💡 The disparity in income is not directly related to intelligence; success is influenced by other factors beyond IQ.
- 🧬 Human potential is determined by inborn attributes, acquired attributes (education, experience), and attitude.
- 📈 Attitude is the most malleable factor, and it can dramatically affect success; expecting positive outcomes creates a positive attitude.
- 🧠 The self-concept is the central belief system that controls performance; improving self-concept enhances personal effectiveness.
- 🚀 Most people use only a small percentage of their potential, leaving untapped opportunities for growth and achievement.
- 🔄 Beliefs and values form the self-concept, which shapes thoughts, actions, and results.
- 🎯 To improve results in life, one must raise their self-concept in critical areas like income, health, or relationships.
- 👍 Repeating positive affirmations like 'I like myself' can increase self-esteem and self-concept, leading to better performance.
- ⚙️ Negative habit patterns (fear of failure, fear of rejection) learned in childhood limit potential, but they can be unlearned.
- 👥 Self-esteem affects relationships and how others treat you; improving self-esteem allows for better interactions and success.
Q & A
What accounts for the disparity in results and performance between people?
-The disparity in results and performance is not due to intelligence alone. Inborn attributes, acquired attributes (like education and skills), and attitude all contribute to human potential. Attitude, in particular, plays a key role in determining how much of one's potential is realized.
How does attitude influence human performance?
-Attitude determines expectations, which in turn affect outcomes. A positive attitude, where a person expects good things, can enhance performance, while a negative attitude leads to poor results. Attitude can be changed quickly, while other attributes like skills and knowledge may take time to improve.
What is the self-concept, and why is it important?
-The self-concept is a person's internal beliefs, values, and attitudes about themselves, formed over their lifetime. It acts as a 'command center' for their actions and behaviors, determining their effectiveness and performance. Improving one’s self-concept leads to better results in life.
How much of their potential does the average person use, according to the script?
-The average person uses only about 10% of their potential, and some estimates, such as those from the Stanford Brain Institute, suggest it may be as low as 2%. This means 90% or more of a person’s potential remains untapped.
How is a person's self-concept related to their performance?
-A person's self-concept limits their performance because they act in ways that align with their self-image. For example, if someone believes they deserve a certain income level, their performance will align with that belief, and they may not achieve more unless they change their self-concept.
What are the three components of the self-concept?
-The three components of the self-concept are: 1) The self-ideal, which is how you see yourself in areas like work, relationships, or health, 2) Self-esteem, which is how much you like yourself in these areas, and 3) Self-image, which is how you see yourself in action.
What is the relationship between self-esteem and performance?
-Higher self-esteem leads to better performance because when a person likes themselves, they tend to perform more effectively. Repeatedly saying positive affirmations like 'I like myself' can help raise self-esteem, which improves overall performance.
How can self-esteem be improved according to the script?
-Self-esteem can be improved by consistently repeating affirmations such as 'I like myself.' This positive self-talk helps increase a person’s sense of self-worth and leads to better performance in various areas of life.
What are the two main fears that inhibit human potential?
-The two main fears that inhibit human potential are the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. These fears create negative habit patterns that hold people back from trying new things or pursuing their goals.
How can someone overcome negative habit patterns like the fear of failure or rejection?
-Negative habit patterns can be unlearned by building self-esteem. As self-esteem increases, the fear of failure and rejection decreases. By continually practicing self-affirmation and focusing on building confidence, a person can reduce these fears and unlock more of their potential.
Outlines
💡 Unlocking Human Potential: The Disparity in Results
This paragraph explores the vast differences in income and performance between individuals and argues that these differences are not directly related to intelligence. Studies show that a person earning significantly more is not necessarily smarter. Instead, the speaker introduces a formula involving 'inborn attributes,' 'acquired attributes,' and 'attitude' to explain human potential. Attitudes can drastically change performance, and positive expectations can lead to better outcomes. The concept of self-manufactured expectations is introduced, emphasizing that beliefs and values shape these expectations.
🧠 The Self-Concept and Its Influence on Performance
This paragraph delves into the idea of the 'self-concept,' which is presented as the core of human potential. It acts like a command center, shaping how individuals behave and perceive themselves. The self-concept includes beliefs, values, and attitudes formed throughout life, which ultimately dictate performance and effectiveness. The speaker notes that most people use only a small fraction of their potential due to limiting self-concepts. It is emphasized that the self-concept is subjective and often does not align with reality, impacting how individuals perform in various areas of their lives.
💪 Building a Positive Self-Concept: The Power of Self-Esteem
The speaker explains that to improve any aspect of life, including income or health, one must first raise their self-concept. This paragraph discusses the three critical parts of the self-concept: self-ideal, self-image, and self-esteem. The importance of repeating positive affirmations like 'I like myself' is highlighted as a way to boost self-esteem, which in turn improves overall performance. The relationship between self-esteem and how others perceive us is also explored, emphasizing that individuals must like and respect themselves before expecting others to do the same.
👶 The Formation of the Self-Concept: Early Childhood Influence
This paragraph focuses on how the self-concept is developed, starting from early childhood. The speaker asserts that children are born with pure potential and no self-concept, which is shaped through their experiences, especially by the way their parents treat them. A child’s need for love and affection is crucial in forming a positive self-concept. The paragraph also mentions that children are born fearless and spontaneous, with a natural curiosity to explore the world, but this often gets suppressed through repeated experiences of fear and pain, especially due to destructive criticism.
🚸 Overcoming Negative Habit Patterns: Fear of Failure and Rejection
This paragraph examines how negative habit patterns, such as the fear of failure and rejection, are formed and how they limit human potential. These patterns arise from destructive criticism and repeated negative experiences, often felt physically in the body. The fear of failure manifests as physical tension and avoidance behaviors, while the fear of rejection leads individuals to prioritize pleasing others over their own needs. The speaker reassures that these fears can be unlearned through increased self-esteem, which reduces fear and boosts confidence.
🎯 The Power of Constructive Criticism and Self-Liking
The speaker advises how to handle criticism constructively, emphasizing the importance of protecting a person's self-esteem during feedback. Key points include starting with praise, focusing on performance rather than personality, and discussing future improvements rather than past mistakes. The overall message is that fostering self-esteem in oneself and others leads to better performance. The paragraph concludes with the importance of repeating affirmations like 'I like myself' to maintain high self-esteem, which is linked to personal success and overall happiness.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Inborn Attributes
💡Acquired Attributes
💡Attitude
💡Self-Concept
💡Human Potential
💡Self-Esteem
💡Fear of Failure
💡Fear of Rejection
💡Negative Habit Patterns
💡Self-Ideal
Highlights
Human potential isn't determined solely by intelligence but is greatly influenced by attitude and expectations.
IQ differences between individuals are minimal compared to the vast differences in performance and success.
Attitude plays a critical role in human performance, and positive expectations can dramatically boost it.
The formula for human potential includes inborn attributes, acquired attributes, and attitude.
Acquired attributes, such as skills and education, can be changed, sometimes rapidly with the right information.
Self-concept, which includes beliefs and values, is key to understanding and improving human performance.
The self-concept is shaped by experiences and begins developing early in life, affecting all areas of performance.
People use only a fraction of their potential, with research suggesting that most use less than 10% of their capacity.
To unlock potential, it's crucial to raise one's self-concept and improve self-esteem.
The more you like yourself, the higher your self-esteem, which positively impacts your performance.
Self-esteem can be improved by regularly affirming positive beliefs like 'I like myself'.
Children are born fearless and spontaneous, but negative habit patterns can suppress their potential.
Fear of failure and rejection, often learned through negative experiences, limits adult potential.
Negative habit patterns can be unlearned by boosting self-esteem and challenging fears.
High self-esteem reduces fear of rejection and failure, leading to better performance and happiness.
Transcripts
session three unlocking your potential
when we talk about human potential have
you ever wondered what accounts for the
huge disparity in results and
performance between one person and
another you know a person who's making
$250,000 a year is not 10 times smarter
or better than a person who's making
$25,000 a year why is there 10 times the
difference in income and you go all the
way up the ladder to a person is making
$2.5 million a year is that person a 100
times better smarter than the person
making 25,000 a year impossible in a
recent study of IQs they picked a
thousand men and women out of the
population and tested them for IQ they
found that the top person in that
thousand selection was only two and one
half times smarter than the bottom
person in that selection of IQs only two
and a half times the disparity and
that's probably true over the whole
population so what accounts for this
great difference well we talk about
human potential we come down to a very
simple formula that I came up with some
years ago that probably explains it a
little bit the formula starts off with
what we call IIA which is inborn
attributes that's the qualities the
intelligence the ability the temperament
the things that you're born with that
you can't really change very much plus
acquired attributes now acquired
attributes are very important those are
your education your training your skill
your experience knowledge wisdom and so
on multipli times a which is your
attitude equals individual human
potential or individual Human
Performance or individual human results
if you like now of these three inborn
attributes are largely fixed at Birth
acquired attributes can be changed but
it takes a while to change them although
sometimes they can be changed very
rapidly one valuable piece of
information can dramatically change your
Effectiveness but attitudes can be
increased or decreased dramatically in
second we talked about that before and a
very powerful way to instantaneous ly
improve your attitude is to say to
yourself I I believe something wonderful
is going to happen to me today as we
said before our expectations about
outcomes determines our attitude in
other words if you expect things to turn
out well you're going to have a positive
attitude if you expect things to turn
out negatively you're going to have a
negative attitude and the wonderful
thing is you can manufacture your own
expectations I mean you can expect
whatever you want you can expect good
things you can expect negative things
and chances are you won't be
disappointed where do our expectations
come from our expectations come from our
beliefs
if You' like and our values these are
the core or the central motivating
factors in our personality our beliefs
and values and this brings us to an
understanding of human potential it
means that basically our attitude is the
outward expression of what is going on
internally consistent with the mental
laws that we talked about and with
regard to beliefs each of us has a
bundle of beliefs way down deep inside
which psychologists call the
self-concept now the self-concept cep or
the discovery of it has been considered
by many to be the most important single
breakthrough in understanding human
performance in the 20th century and I
personally agree the self-concept is
like if you wanted to use a military
analogy is the command center or if you
wanted to use a
technological analogy it is the central
program of your basic computer it is a
bundle of beliefs values attitudes
feelings ideas and so on which are
stored away down inside which are a
result virtually every experience you've
ever had in your life and some
researchers say that the self-concept
begins to form even before birth but
this self-concept once it is in place
precedes predicts and determines your
levels of Effectiveness and performance
in every area of your life your
self-concept becomes the command Pro
Center or the master program the
self-concept or this bundle of beliefs
then determines what you will say what
you will do how you will act how you
feel and react and so on what does it
mean it means means that all
improvements in your external life all
changes in your reality begin with a
change in the self-concept let me give
you an understanding of how it means
here's here's a very simple graph we
talk about human potential we say the
average person uses 10% or less of their
potential according to the research is
probably much less Stanford brain
Institute in Santa Clara California
estimates that it's probably closer to
2% but we'll be generous we'll say the
average person is using 10% it means
that in the best of cases
the average person you and I have 90% of
our potential untapped one of the great
philosophers Oliver wend hom said the
great tragedy of the average person is
that they go to their grave with their
music still in them they're still
functioning on far far less of their
potential so this is human potential we
find is a direct relationship between
human potential and the self-concept
that since our self-concepts or our
estimates of ourselves if you like are
usually far lower than they need to be
our level of performance and effectiv
this is far lower too and we know that
our self-concept is largely subjective
what does that mean it means that the
self-concept what we believe to be true
about ourselves is really not based in
reality it's based on information that
we've taken in people who win lotteries
are often flat broke two or three years
later they just burn the money because
the money is far beyond their
self-concept if you go 10% or more below
your self-concept level of income you
find yourself scrambling you work harder
you work longer you think more
creatively you look at different ways to
increase your income or or second income
opportunities the only way to improve
any part of your life including your
income is to raise your self-concept
level of income by beginning to think
about yourself continually in terms of
earning more money if you want to lose
weight the only way you can lose weight
is what is to think thin by beginning to
think of yourself as a thinner person if
you want to become a more popular a more
loving a happier person a healthier
person you have to begin to think over
and over about those things until they
become part of your new self-concept and
we'll talk about that a little bit later
it's an essential part of programming
your mind for Success your overall
self-concept is determined by the
average of your self-concepts in all the
areas that you consider important now
your self-concept is made up of three
critical Parts the first part of the
self-concept is the self ideal the self
ideal is yourself as an employee how
much you like yourself as a boss how
much you like yourself as a money earner
a professional speaker an athlete and so
on how much you like yourself your level
of self-esteem your overall emotional
feeling about any area of your life
determines your performance and
Effectiveness in that area wonderfully
enough since you become what you think
about your self-concept is malleable
your self-esteem can be built by
repeating over and over again I like
myself I like myself I like myself I
like myself I like myself I like myself
the more you say I like myself I like
myself I like myself the more you repeat
that over and over again the more your
self-esteem goes up the more your
self-esteem goes up the more your
overall self-concept goes up when your
overall self-concept goes up you perform
better at everything else that you
attempt that every single time you say I
like myself I like myself I like myself
I like myself I like myself it's like
pumping yourself up psychologically
everything that happens that causes your
self-esteem to go up causes you to
perform better everything that happens
that causes your self-esteem to go down
causes you to perform worse make more
mistakes be unhappier and so on a
critical point about liking yourself
about self-esteem and self-liking is
that number one is you can never like or
love anybody else more than you like or
love yourself that your level of
self-esteem is the determinant of the
quality of the relationships you have
with others and number two is you can
never expect anybody else to like or
respect you more than you like or
respect yourself that how much you like
and respect yourself determines their
attitudes toward you every single School
of Psychology today is coming to
agreement on the fact that how much you
genuinely like and accept yourself as a
valuable and worthwhile human being has
an effect on everything that happens to
you how much you like yourself and what
you can do is you can improve your
self-esteem by saying I like myself I
like myself I like myself I like myself
I like myself well this brings us to the
question of word is self-esteem where
does the self-concept come from and we
found that self-concept if anything
self-concept is malleable in that you
are not born with a self-concept is that
you're not born with any idea of
yourself you're not born with self-image
or self te that you're born in a way as
pure potential it's probably the best
way to put it the average person comes
into the world as pure potential and has
no self-concept that everything you are
today every feeling that you have every
attitude or value you had to learn over
the course of your lifetime we also know
that the child comes into the world with
a very high need for love and touching
and a tremendous amount of Research
indicates that we need a lot of love and
touching all of our lives but especially
in our formative years because as a
child
we learn who we are how valuable we are
whether we're important intelligent
attractive lovable uh funny we learn all
of these things by the way our parents
treat us if our parents our siblings our
aunts and uncles but especially our
parents treat us like we're really
important kids then we grow up thinking
that we're really important if our
parents do not then something else
happens we know that the first few years
of life are the most important in
developing the self-concept that a child
starts off at zero when the child is
born with no idea of who she is or who
he is or how valuable they are and in
the first second driving down that
healing concrete deep into the
foundation of our personality remember
children need love like roses need rain
children that are deprived of Love often
die of Love starvation it's a disease
called marasmus now what else do we know
about children we know that children
come into the world with two remarkable
attributes the first is that they're
Fearless children are born with no fears
they're not afraid of any anything
except falling and loud noises and this
is expressed in the attitude I can
children come into the world leaving
they can do anything and anybody who's
Ever Raised a child to the age of three
or four or five knows you have to spend
those first few years stopping them from
killing themselves because they little
comicazi Pilots because they're not
afraid of anything the second attribute
is they come into the world completely
spontaneous they say what they want they
do what they want they are completely
uninhibited they just are completely
unafraid they do anything anything that
they want and this is expressed in the
attitude I don't have to I don't have to
if you ever try to control a child
you'll find that the attitude of a chunk
child the first thing they say we begin
to develop negative habit patterns
negative habit patterns are conditioned
responses to stimuli negative habit
patterns develop very very early in life
they're developed as a result of a
repetition of fear and pain over and
over again they're developed as the
result of destructive criticism physical
punishment and so on very early in life
we begin to develop two major
manifestations which follow us
throughout our lives and more than
anything else inhibit our potential as
adults the first is what is called the
inhibitive negative habit pattern the
inhibitive negative habit
pattern is learned when the child is
told over and over again don't get away
from there stop leave that alone and the
child is punished when whenever the
child tries something new or gets into
something or smells something or pours
something over or or break something
accidentally the parent blows up and
gets angry and upset you see the child
is driven by an insatiable curiosity to
explore his or her world and what
happens is when they do explore it and
they get into something they tip
something over if the parent overreacts
and spanks the child that we feel like
withdrawing and getting away from the
event and the fear of failure is the
major reason for failure in adult life
it's the major reason why we hold back
from fulfilling our potentials as a
matter of fact all negative habit
patterns are are experienced in the
physical body that you can tell a
negative habit pattern because you
actually feel it in your physical body
the inhibitive negative habit pattern
the fear of failure the I can't is
experienced first of all in the solar
plexus you ever have an occasion where
you have to speak in front of a group or
you have to go into an performance
review or you have to make a cold call
first of all the solar plexus tightens
up if fear situation continues you start
to breathe harder and your heart starts
to beat faster your respiratory rate and
sometimes you get a headache like a
migraine headache in the front of your
head sometimes your throat will tighten
up and you won't be able to speak you'll
go completely dry sometimes you'll get
so tense and so frightened that you'll
have to run and go to the bathroom these
are all manifestations there's no
physical danger but there's a
psychological danger a conditioned
response and whenever we feel these
things the natural tendency is to back
away from the situation that's causing
them and of course type a behavior is a
a compulsive an obsessive compulsive
need to some how please somebody with no
standards of performance so that you can
never accomplish it the fear of
rejection drives us it makes us very
very sensitive to the opinions of other
people we do things what that other
people want we don't do things that we
want we always trying to please others
we have a preoccupation or a concern
with the opinions and feelings and
attitudes of others to the point where
we deny our own needs now the fear of
rejection is felt down the back half of
the body you divide the body in half
it's about right down the back half of
the body first place you start to feel
the fear of rejection is usually in the
shoulders and in the neck you start to
feel stiff and sore and tense sometimes
when you have a lot to do you'll feel
tremendous stress in the lower back the
muscles will start to pull in the lower
back sometimes it'll represent it'll
manifest itself in fitis and varicose
veins very often it can give you very
bad headaches in the back of the head
because the koted arteries which carry
blood up into the head the muscles
around them constrict and the amount of
blood flow to the Head slows down and
you feel this pounding headache in the
back of your head these two fears the
compulsive or these two negative habit
patterns the compulsive and inhibitive
which are the result of destructive
criticism the great P destroyer of
personalities plague us all our lives
now the wonderful thing about these is
because that they are because they are
learned habits we can unlearn them we
can overcome the fear of failure that
holds us back we can overcome the fear
of rejection that causes us to do things
that please other people people rather
than pleasing ourselves by working on
our own self-esteem because there is an
inverse relationship between self-esteem
and the basic negative habit pattern is
the more you like yourself the less you
fear failure the more you like yourself
the less you fear rejection the more you
like yourself the less you fear anything
and if you continue to repeat I like
myself I like myself I like myself over
and over again if you continue to say
this eventually over time your
self-esteem goes up higher self-esteem
goes down their ability to perform goes
down too if you destructively criticize
a person often enough long enough and
hard enough they get reached the point
where they won't try anything at all
they become what we call hyper sensitive
and a hyper sensitive adult is a person
who cannot take criticism from anybody a
hyp sensitive adult is a person who is
very very tense and anxious if you even
suggest that they're not doing the right
thing if you have to deal with a hyper
sensitive adult to keep is to sit them
down and remember four things number one
always begin with praise number two is
protect the person's self-esteem at all
costs number three is discuss the
performance not the person talk about
the behavior rather than the person and
number four is is it number four number
four is to focus on the future versus
the past focus on what is going to be
done differently in the future or rather
than what has happened in the past why
is that very simple reason is because a
person cannot control the past not being
able to control the past any criticism
over what they've done in the past
causes them tremendous stress and frust
that you'll make the people around you
like love accept and respect themselves
and you'll create a Peak Performance
environment it is the starting point to
great success and achievement in life so
say over and over to yourself I like
myself I like myself I like myself I
like
myself
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