The Silent HIV Crisis Sweeping the American South

Summary

The video script details the struggles of being gay and HIV positive in Jackson, Mississippi, where societal stigma, lack of healthcare, and discriminatory laws compound the challenges faced by this community. It features personal stories of individuals grappling with their identity, health, and the need for support. The narrative underscores the critical need for awareness, understanding, and better access to healthcare services for those living with HIV, particularly within the African-American and LGBTQ+ communities.

Takeaways

• 😔 The script discusses the fear and discrimination faced by gay individuals, particularly in Mississippi, where they often experience verbal abuse and judgment.
• 🙏 The importance of prayer and faith is highlighted as a coping mechanism for some individuals dealing with their sexual orientation and HIV status.
• 🏥 The script mentions the challenges of accessing healthcare, particularly for those living with HIV, due to factors like poverty, lack of insurance, and inadequate public transportation.
• 📉 The high mortality rate for HIV-positive individuals in Mississippi is emphasized, with late diagnosis and limited access to healthcare services being contributing factors.
• 🏢 Open Arms is presented as a critical resource in Mississippi, serving as a medical home for LGBT people and providing support in a state with limited services.
• 🌈 The disproportionate impact of the HIV epidemic on African-American men who have sex with men, especially young men, is highlighted, pointing to the urgent need for targeted support.
• 🏠 The script shares personal stories of individuals living with HIV, detailing their struggles with homelessness, addiction, and the physical symptoms of the virus.
• 💊 The medication regimen for managing HIV is discussed, including the various drugs used to treat symptoms, prevent opportunistic infections, and manage co-morbidities like depression.
• 🏛 The influence of religious beliefs and discriminatory laws on the LGBTQ+ community in Mississippi is explored, with the script noting the additional challenges faced by gay individuals.
• 🤝 The script emphasizes the need for support networks, understanding, and acceptance, both for individuals living with HIV and for those struggling with their sexual identity.
• 🌟 The transformative power of community and support is evident in the stories shared, with individuals finding strength and hope through connection and mutual understanding.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is the struggle and resilience of individuals living with HIV, particularly focusing on the African-American LGBTQ+ community in Jackson, Mississippi, and the challenges they face due to societal stigma, lack of resources, and discriminatory laws.

Why does the narrator feel scared when leaving their home?

The narrator feels scared due to the fear of potential discrimination or harm they might face as a homosexual individual in their community.

What is the significance of the support group mentioned in the script?

The support group serves as a safe space for individuals living with HIV to share their experiences, find comfort, and receive emotional support from others who are going through similar challenges.

What challenges do individuals with HIV face in Mississippi according to the script?

Individuals with HIV in Mississippi face challenges such as high mortality rates, lack of education, poverty, inadequate health services, and societal stigma, which can lead to late diagnosis and treatment.

Why does the script mention 'Open Arms' and its importance?

Open Arms is mentioned as a unique organization in Mississippi that serves as a medical home for LGBT individuals, highlighting its importance in providing care and support for a community that often faces discrimination and lack of resources.

What is the significance of the high HIV mortality rate among African-American men in Jackson, Mississippi?

The high HIV mortality rate among African-American men in Jackson signifies a critical public health issue that is exacerbated by factors such as poverty, lack of education, and inadequate access to health services.

How does the script describe the impact of societal stigma on individuals living with HIV?

The script describes the societal stigma as a significant barrier for individuals living with HIV, leading to feelings of isolation, fear, and sometimes even self-harm, as well as difficulties in accessing healthcare and support.

What role does Grace House play in the lives of those living with HIV in the script?

Grace House plays a crucial role by providing housing and supportive services for men, women, and families living with HIV, offering a sense of community and care for those who might have been rejected by their families or society.

Why does the script mention the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in Mississippi?

The script mentions the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in Mississippi to highlight the additional layers of discrimination and hardship they endure on top of their HIV status, including lack of legal protections and societal prejudice.

What is the significance of the religious freedom bill mentioned in the script?

The religious freedom bill is significant as it represents a form of legislation that critics argue can enable discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals, further complicating their lives and health outcomes, including those living with HIV.

How does the script portray the intersection of race, sexuality, and HIV status in Mississippi?

The script portrays the intersection of race, sexuality, and HIV status as particularly challenging in Mississippi, where individuals face a 'triple burden' of discrimination, stigma, and health disparities, making their struggle for health and acceptance even more complex.

Outlines

00:00

🌈 Struggles of the LGBTQ+ Community in Mississippi

The paragraph discusses the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay black men, in Mississippi. It highlights the fear and discrimination they face in their daily lives, including verbal abuse and the threat of violence. The paragraph also touches on the intersection of these challenges with the high prevalence of HIV, the lack of support systems, and the impact of societal attitudes on mental health and well-being. It introduces a support group where individuals share their experiences of living with HIV, emphasizing the importance of community and understanding.

05:01

🏥 The HIV Epidemic and Healthcare in Mississippi

This paragraph delves into the critical state of the HIV epidemic in Jackson, Mississippi, which disproportionately affects African-American men who have sex with men, especially the younger population. It discusses the late diagnosis of HIV due to factors like poverty, lack of education, and poor access to health services. The narrative also addresses the challenges in accessing healthcare, such as inadequate public transportation, and the impact of these barriers on individuals' health outcomes. The paragraph introduces 'Open Arms,' an organization that serves as a medical home for the LGBT community in Jackson, emphasizing its role in providing support and services to those affected by HIV.

10:01

📜 Discrimination and the Impact of Legislation on the LGBTQ+ Community

The paragraph explores the legislative and societal discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community in Mississippi, particularly focusing on a religious freedom bill that critics argue is anti-LGBTQ. It discusses the lack of state-wide protections for LGBTQ+ citizens and the challenges faced by individuals trying to navigate their sexual orientation within a conservative and often unaccepting environment. The paragraph also touches on the internal struggles of individuals reconciling their faith with their sexual identity and the broader implications of these discriminatory laws on mental health and self-acceptance.

15:01

🏠 The Reality of Living with HIV and the Importance of Support

This paragraph provides an intimate look into the lives of individuals living with HIV, discussing the internal and external pressures they face, including societal expectations and the fear of discrimination. It highlights the importance of support systems, as individuals grapple with the emotional and physical toll of their diagnosis. The narrative also touches on the experiences of those who have attempted suicide due to the overwhelming burden of their situation, emphasizing the transformative power of community and support in fostering resilience and recovery.

20:02

🙏 Finding Hope and Acceptance in the Face of Adversity

The final paragraph focuses on the journey of acceptance and hope for individuals living with HIV. It discusses the process of coming to terms with one's diagnosis and the importance of self-care and support networks. The narrative includes personal stories of individuals who have found strength and community at Grace House, an organization that provides housing and supportive services for those living with HIV. The paragraph concludes with a prayer and a message of gratitude, emphasizing the resilience and hope that can be found even in the face of significant challenges.

Keywords

💡HIV

HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a virus that attacks the immune system and can lead to AIDS if not treated. In the video, several individuals share their personal experiences of living with HIV, highlighting the stigma, challenges in accessing healthcare, and the emotional toll it takes on their lives. The script mentions various aspects of HIV, such as diagnosis, treatment, and the physical and mental health struggles associated with it.

💡LGBT

LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. The video addresses the unique challenges faced by LGBT individuals, particularly in the context of Mississippi, where they may face discrimination, lack of support, and legal challenges. The script includes discussions about the intersection of being LGBT and HIV positive, and how societal attitudes can exacerbate health issues and feelings of isolation.

💡Stigma

Stigma refers to the negative attitudes and discrimination that people may face due to their perceived differences. In the video, stigma is a recurring theme, especially in relation to being both HIV positive and part of the LGBT community. The script illustrates how individuals internalize societal stigma, leading to feelings of shame, fear, and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.

💡Mississippi

Mississippi is a state in the southern United States, and the video focuses on the specific challenges faced by its residents, particularly those who are HIV positive and part of the LGBT community. The script highlights the state's high mortality rate for HIV, lack of comprehensive sex education, and discriminatory laws that affect the lives of its citizens, especially in terms of healthcare access and legal protections.

💡Support Group

A support group is a gathering of individuals who share common experiences and provide mutual support. In the video, a support group serves as a safe space for people living with HIV to share their stories, challenges, and coping strategies. The script shows how these groups can be crucial for mental health and building a sense of community among those who might otherwise feel isolated.

💡Homelessness

Homelessness refers to the state of not having a stable place to live. The video script includes stories of individuals who have become homeless due to their HIV status, often as a result of being rejected by their families or not being able to afford housing. This keyword underscores the economic and social vulnerabilities that can accompany an HIV diagnosis.

💡Discrimination

Discrimination is the unfair treatment of a person or group based on certain characteristics, such as sexual orientation or health status. The script discusses the discrimination faced by LGBT individuals and those living with HIV, including in healthcare settings, employment, and housing. This keyword is central to understanding the broader social context that affects the well-being of the individuals in the video.

💡Religious Freedom Bill

A religious freedom bill is legislation that seeks to protect the rights of individuals to act according to their religious beliefs. The video mentions such a bill in Mississippi, which critics argue could enable discrimination against LGBT individuals. The script implies that such legislation can exacerbate the challenges faced by the LGBT community, including those living with HIV.

💡Grace House

Grace House is an organization mentioned in the video that provides housing and supportive services for people living with HIV, particularly those who are homeless or marginalized. The script describes Grace House as a place of refuge and care, offering not only shelter but also a sense of community and support for individuals navigating the complexities of living with HIV.

💡Mortality Rate

The mortality rate refers to the proportion of deaths within a population. In the context of the video, Mississippi has a high mortality rate for people living with HIV, which underscores the severity of the HIV epidemic in the state. The script uses this statistic to highlight the urgency of addressing the social and healthcare challenges faced by those affected by HIV.

Highlights

Individuals express fear and the need for prayer when stepping out of their homes due to societal attitudes towards homosexuality.

People ignore or respond negatively to those who are openly gay, leading to a need for individuals to ignore such comments to maintain mental well-being.

The fear of being a target of violence due to one's sexual orientation is palpable, with a real concern for personal safety.

A support group for HIV-positive individuals provides a space for introductions and sharing of personal stories.

The emotional journey after an HIV diagnosis includes feelings of fear, devastation, and eventually finding a better place.

Physical symptoms like sores and surgeries are part of the lived experience for those dealing with HIV, highlighting the physical toll of the disease.

The struggle with addiction and the use of substances to cope with the pain of living with HIV is discussed.

The daily medication routine for managing HIV includes a regimen of pills to combat the virus and support the immune system.

The unique challenges of being gay, black, and HIV-positive in Jackson are highlighted, emphasizing the intersectionality of identities.

Mississippi has a high mortality rate for HIV-positive individuals, pointing to systemic health care challenges.

Open Arms is introduced as a unique medical home for LGBT people in Mississippi, emphasizing the lack of such services in the state.

The HIV epidemic in Jackson disproportionately affects African-American men who have sex with men, especially younger individuals.

Factors contributing to late HIV diagnosis include poverty, lack of education, and poor access to health services.

Transportation challenges in Jackson can prevent individuals from accessing necessary health care services.

The importance of support systems for those living with HIV is underscored by personal stories of struggle and resilience.

Grace House provides housing and supportive services for individuals and families living with HIV, filling a critical gap in services.

Families in Mississippi often respond poorly to HIV-positive diagnoses due to lack of information and fear, leading to isolation.

The intersection of poverty, lack of resources, and stigmatizing beliefs contributes to the complexity of the HIV fight in Mississippi.

The impact of discriminatory laws on the mental health and well-being of the LGBTQ community in Mississippi is discussed.

The struggle to reconcile religious beliefs with one's sexual orientation is a common theme among those living with HIV.

The prevalence of HIV among married men who are not openly gay is highlighted, challenging stereotypes about the disease.

The importance of self-acceptance and living authentically despite societal pressures is emphasized.

The desire for a 'normal' life, including family and children, is expressed despite the challenges of being gay and HIV-positive.

The process of coming to terms with an HIV diagnosis and finding support is detailed through personal narratives.

The role of prayer and faith in coping with an HIV diagnosis and the associated stigma is explored.

The importance of community support and memorialization for those who have passed away from HIV is highlighted.

The transformation in self-perception and confidence after overcoming the challenges of HIV is shared through personal stories.

Transcripts

[Music]

when I walk out the front door I'm

scared of

before I leave I make sure I pray s

me a prayer God bless me to make it to

the store and back home safely I feel

like people know that don't P be

positive even if they don't

know some people just don't really agree

with the whole homosexual

thing they will say stuff like you

or you or whatever else and I just

keep walking as if I don't hear

them I pay them no mind at

all I'm not in that comfort zone where I

can just walk and dealing with these

people dying that are gay I just I just

think that it could be me like that

would be me

[Music]

hello

everybody how y'all

doing welcome welcome to a support group

we're going to start off by introducing

ourselves when you found out you was HIV

positive I was diagnosed with HIV on

Tuesday January 17th 2012 I'm 23 three

been positive for about 2 years my name

is Tommy and I live in Jackson

Mississippi um I've been positive for

about well since

2010 I've been positive since

2012 I found out in 2010 I've known I

was positive since

2008 however I didn't disclose to anyone

to two years later I'm Roski ma but on

this row 20 years old I found out I was

positive last year of October when I

found out I was

scared devastated but I'm in a better

place

now around March April I started NOS my

hands hurting my legs hurting my

breathing getting short then I kept

having sores on my bottom had to have

two

surgeries and in the process of those

surgery I was asked for if I wanted to

take a test HIV test and I said yes so

got the results back from that of course

it was positive and from then everything

just went sort of downhill very quick my

weight went off me very quickly could

work wasn't in school didn't have any

money so I couldn't pay the rent I was

homeless and of course I was stilling my

addtion I tried the OD of pills smoked

and drank to hide that

pain I learned about taking these pills

in the

hospital take VRI which is for herpes

was scap a pin in I have neopia in my

hands and my feet legs this is tric my

actual HIV pill and these are my batom

and it's for my immune system to fight

off bacteria sear line it's for

depression there's been times where I've

just I know I have to take them and I

just

haven't I don't really think a lot of

people know how hard it is to be gay

black an H positive in Jackson I mean

it's it's just

[Music]

crazy Jackson Mississippi as a state has

a very high mortality rate for people

who are hi infected so if you live in

Mississippi your chances of dying of HIV

or Aids are much more higher than if you

live in any other state in the Union

open arms is the only place of its kind

in the whole state of Mississippi our

mission is to be a medical home for LGBT

people who live in the city of Jackson

and surrounding

areas you know the rooms are very small

as you can

see here is getting HIV as a black man

who super man living in Jackson

Mississippi is one in two which means

that unless you do something the chance

that you catch HIV are very very

high the HIV epidemic in Jackson is

critical it affects disproportionately

some groups especially African-American

men who assist with men especially young

men the combination of factors poverty

uh education the lack of health

insurance poor Access to Health Services

know that means when people get

diagnosed they get diagnosed so late

that either within 12 months or a

diagnosis they already have the veil of

a8s qu are in a moment of great urgency

in our state

you know part of the challenge you know

just think about a transportation in a

city like Jackson where the public

transportation system is really bad you

know that can be a challenge for people

to you know go to a

[Music]

clinic even though Jackson is the

capital Mississippi it's not like living

in New York or LA or even Atlanta if we

didn't have the service that we have now

for transportation I think a lot of

these people would miss their

appointments because they wouldn't have

ways to get there and what I'm about to

do now is go pick up one of our

clients who I'm picking up is Jarius

Butler he has became one of my many

kids hey Dad hey baby how are you I'm

good okay are you ready mhm okay so over

the last year or so we thought that we

were going to lose jius how many times

you was in out Hospital over 10 times I

was just tired of fighting it at the

time I had no support system me and my

family are not close we wasn't close

then we're really not close now so I

feel like I was I was fighting a battle

by

myself I've been there in 2005 I was

diagnosed with HIV I you know ignored it

I went a year without treatment and this

is a picture of what I look like back in

those days

and I really think if it wasn't for the

support of my family you know my mother

and my entire family you know I don't

think I would be here so this support is

very helpful for

[Music]

them in the beginning a Grace house was

simply the place that people came to

die you got any new clear numbers for me

cuz I got to turn in the report

yesterday today we became a organization

that provides housing and supportive

services for men women families however

those families Define themselves living

with

HIV do you want it yeah in Mississippi

families respond in very poor ways when

they find out family members are HIV

positive because they're uninformed

because they're fearful they are fearful

to to hug or kiss on the cheek they make

their their loved one eat off of a a

special plate or a paper plate and with

plastic utensils or utensils that only

that person

uses unfortunately some of the homeless

with HIV are homeless because their

families when they found out kicked them

out because they don't understand how

hard it is to contract the

disease this fight as with many others

is unique in the state of Mississippi

because we're poor and we don't have

enough resources so that the health

department has to close

clinics the fact that we're in deep in

the Bible Belt we have to undo some

Faith beliefs that suggest that you're

going to hell because you got this

disease and unfortunately there's no

avoiding race in Mississippi no matter

what the subject matter is but in terms

of HIV those in African-American

Community who are living with HIV

particularly those we serve at Grace

house who are homeless impoverished have

very traumatic histories so it's an

assault from all

sides it's harder to be gay in

Mississippi there's no Statewide

protections for lgbtq Citizens that

would uh protect them or give them legal

recourse uh should someone uh deny them

service or or fire them because of who

they are Mississippi Governor Phil

Bryant joined ranks with North Carolina

on Tuesday when he signed into law a

religious freedom bill that critics call

the most sweeping anti-lgbt legislation

in the United States now the law applies

to marriage licenses jobs housing even

an employer's dress code I remember the

reporters were asking me as I was

walking down the hallway just just after

it was passed surely they thought he's

not going going to sign that bill just

as soon as it gets to my

desk now I will tell you and I probably

shouldn't admit to this but there is

some joy in letting them know we are not

[Applause]

afraid there's something about

Mississippi that there's still this

tendency to cover things up and and not

talk about things that are that are

important and things that might be

controversial and and certainly the HIV

epidemic is the Federal funding very

often that we receive for U prevention

and for treatment can be directed

towards abstinence only education our

sex education laws state that teachers

instructors should instruct that uh same

seex intercourse um is uh prohibited by

state law because of the stigma because

of the homophobia that exists people are

reluctant to talk about their sexual

orientation with their medical provider

these kind of discriminatory laws

increase the kind of self hatred that

exists among lgbtq

mississippians people say to me very

often they say Well it must be very hard

for you to be a a a gay man in

Mississippi and and yeah there are

challenges for being a a gay man but I'm

also a gay white man in Mississippi and

so there's some privilege that comes

along that we have to acknowledge I tell

people imagine what it's like for a gay

person of color it could be incredibly

challenging I've always grown up in the

church sing in choir my mom was a Sunday

school teacher so she would always throw

that out there you know that's wrong

you're going to hell and God forbid and

I'm just like you're making this harder

for me I tried to separate as long as I

could as far as me being gay

and you know and then being a Christian

or whatever

I would leave that at home the gay at

home and just take the Christian with me

to church it was a struggle to to force

myself to like feel s because I know

that that's the right thing to do but

this is who I am I can't change that you

know I

Repent I pray I have one-on-one

conversations with him I feel like what

he does is for a reason

[Music]

we got a lot of

brothers that's

trly on the

download these men many of whom are

married brother

deputies they represent the driving

force behind the new cases of age and

HIV it's not a homosexual in a corner

somewhere it is now your respectable

mared man who's on the down

statistically you got a 50% chance of

having AIDS are HIV in your life

side sometimes uh

HIV is the public indication of what I

have been doing privately some of the

other things that would fall into the uh

umbrella of sexual

immorality uh would be

homosexuality uh

lesbianism

transgender any sexuality that is not

consistent with the historical biblical

uh interpretation of

Christianity you see sexual immorality

doesn't always kill but it can certainly

wound when you laid down you was whole

but when you got up you had

something and just because you take a

tile and wipe it out that don't mean

it's

[Applause]

clean oh I wish I had a witness up in

this my ex actually nobody knew that he

was gay he pretend around his friends

around his mom brothers and sisters like

he was straight

homosexuals catch hell in

Mississippi we cannot date guys openly

in

Mississippi I've been caught in the

act as a child and I've got beating I'm

talking about belts

switches I don't want to you know put my

life in jeopardy you know people knowing

that I'm gay there are more guys that

are on the DL than we believe here

Mississippi they're on these apps these

dating sites they go to these clubs they

would try to you know make a p you know

hint hint you know I'm I'm on the DL you

know what's you know what you want to do

like you with it or you know people

don't take the the whole HIV thing here

seriously they don't think it's going to

happen to them you know they think

they're

safe the people in my community they

really just expect me to grow up and be

a man get married have kids and that's

really all that I want to be but you

know being gay

I it would be nice to you know be able

to freely enjoy that with a guy but

because of the people around it's a lot

of pressure I feel like every

guy has some girl out there for him you

know it might take a while to find it so

you know just keep on trying cuz that's

what I really want I really want have

happy family I want Wife and Kids you

know so I I have no problem with

suppressing it letting it go or whatever

I have to do because like I said I know

what I want out of life and that might

be what I'm doing for the time being but

it's not that's not my life this not

what my life revolves around now you

[Music]

know it's a blind

dog sometimes she gets along better than

me I was diagnosed with HIV I was living

a life of God knows whatever and I was

at that point where because of my

situation I have this virus I don't want

to live it wasn't just talked about

killing myself I actually tried to do it

you know I felt hopeless and through

prayer I was led to this particular

place right here Grace house it's made

me a better person being around people

and understanding their struggle is that

you yeah remember recovery is really

doing good for you

baby wow that's you for real yeah now

with the generation where it said right

now we're just in a time period where

it's not talked about anymore so the

level goes up you know and now people

who are in a higher level who can do

something about it they don't

care Point Blank

[Music]

I can tell you from the experiences that

many of my patients have told you know

very often you know people go to a

physician and with a lot of

embarrassment you know they are able to

tell the doctor you know doctor I have

sex with men or I'm gay and very often

that clinician either ignores that or is

not very well informed about what to do

next we can estimate that probably half

if not a little bit higher of the people

that we know HIV infected are no

receiving

[Applause]

[Music]

care when I first find out I was

positive I wanted to just tell my entire

family but then I thought about it I

imagine how long it took me to tell them

I was okay and this like a whole

different level you got to be

comfortable with yourself once you get

active you know you going to want to

take care of yourself

you can't go out there and lie to people

try to tell people how to take care of

themselves when you're not taking care

of yourself it feels good when you tell

somebody it's like you possibly have

saved a

life I had four test done my test

results came back positive the initial

reaction was okay who do I supposed to

talk to about this because my dad really

didn't improve my lifestyle he really

doesn't now so I'm still battling with

that as well I didn't have a support

system at first it was hard um it still

is hard I can honestly say last year was

probably the worst year for me because I

was in that hospital close to death like

the thing with my HIV was after a while

I started to get like really really

tired and like it had got to the point

where I didn't want to get out of the

bed like I wouldn't go anywhere when I

found out just like everybody else I was

pretty in shock and devastated turned to

little drinking my name is leavon

Williams I'm 19 I've been clean of

everything throughout these months he's

protecting himself to protect me so what

was it like for you when you guys first

met and Daryl told you that he was HIV

positive when he told me and he was like

well I'm HIV positive I said okay what

else he's human I'm human

stop now at first I kind of didn't

really deal with the diagnosis just

pretended that everything was normal

until it just hit me one day and I had

my breakdown I literally sat in my car

cried I'm starting to te up now but um

make sure you take care of yourself make

sure you have a support network and just

carry on thanks you all again uh stand

up real quick and close with a

prayer father God I just want to thank

you for allowing us to see another year

in time I ask for us to continue to get

these blessings father God father God I

ask you for knowledge wisdom and

understanding to get through the rest of

our Days of Our Lives in Your Name Jesus

I pray amen amen okay you going to be

the honorary prayer boy when

[Music]

after the people would die right here at

Grace house they didn't have any family

who cared or didn't have any family with

finances they would take upon themselves

and do them a memorial and place their

ashes

[Music]

here this Angel um has been here for

like 2 years and nobody has decided to

bring it out here it

symbolizes the memory

of someone from here right here in this

spot there is a guy who was cremated and

buried here I thought that it would be

nice to give him

something you know like a present I

mean I would want somebody to do it for

me so I I thought to do that

I feel more so now that I am ready to

get my life started growing up my

stepfather used to tell

me you are not handsome you'll never be

he would install that in my head so

as growing up I would always think that

even when I look in the mirror I would

look at myself and say you're not

you're never going to be

now when I look at the mirror I say

you are the

so

yeah look at my pictures from me being

sick and not on my meds to

now I feel a lot more confident in

myself I feel like if I can overcome

that I can overcome anything I let the

virus control who I was and once I came

into the realization that I am the virus

the virus is not me once I kept

installing it in my head once I saw

other people who's had this disease for

20 30 years here and who look damn good

it made me feel okay well I can I can be

50 years

old as well and still look Healy and do

the things that they do

[Music]