how to meet girls in 2024 (WITHOUT APPS)...
Summary
TLDRThe speaker discusses the challenges of modern dating, highlighting the scarcity of genuine interactions and the ineffectiveness of dating apps on self-esteem. He emphasizes the importance of learning to approach women in real life, as it allows for authentic connection and communication of personality traits that apps fail to convey. The video promises to share personal experiences and strategies for meeting potential partners without relying on dating apps, advocating for a return to 'meeting in the wild' as a more fulfilling and effective approach.
Takeaways
- 😔 The modern dating scene has seen a significant reduction in spontaneous, face-to-face interactions, making it harder to meet new people.
- 📉 The reliance on dating apps has led to a decrease in successful matches and a negative impact on self-esteem for many users.
- 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning to approach women in person, which can be a powerful and effective way to meet potential partners.
- 🚀 Direct approaches in public can lead to more authentic connections, as they allow for the immediate display of one's personality and intentions.
- 🤝 Meeting people through friends or social circles is still a viable method, despite the shrinking size of social networks in the digital age.
- 🏋️♂️ Joining groups or clubs based on shared hobbies can be an effective way to meet like-minded individuals, including potential romantic partners.
- 💪 Developing the skill of approaching women requires courage and practice but can lead to increased confidence and success in social interactions.
- 👫 The shift towards meeting people 'in the wild' rather than on dating apps is a growing trend that values real-life connections over online interactions.
- 🌐 The speaker suggests that personal development and the willingness to step out of one's comfort zone are key to finding meaningful relationships in the modern era.
- 🚫 A strong recommendation against relying solely on dating apps is made, advocating for more traditional and direct methods of meeting potential partners.
Q & A
What is considered the biggest catastrophe of modern dating according to the speaker?
-The biggest catastrophe of modern dating is the collapse of small, innocuous interactions with new people, making it difficult to meet new individuals outside of established social circles.
How many new interactions does the speaker estimate one might have in a week?
-The speaker estimates that the number of new interactions one might have in a week is probably not above five.
Why does the speaker believe that meeting girls has become more difficult in modern times?
-The speaker believes it's more difficult to meet girls because modern living has led to increased isolation, and traditional avenues for meeting new people have diminished.
What was the speaker's experience with dating apps after a breakup?
-The speaker had an awful experience with dating apps, receiving very few matches and feeling that it tanked their self-esteem.
What is the 'big hitter' method the speaker suggests for meeting girls in modern life?
-The 'big hitter' method suggested by the speaker is learning how to approach girls in person, rather than relying on dating apps.
Why does the speaker consider in-person approaches to be more powerful than dating apps?
-In-person approaches are more powerful because they allow the girl to meet the real person, with all their confidence, voice tonality, body posture, humor, and intelligence, which cannot be fully conveyed through dating apps.
What benefits does the speaker mention about meeting people in person compared to using dating apps?
-Meeting people in person allows for a more authentic interaction, with both parties on even terms, and avoids the competition and pressure of dating apps where there is often a gender disparity.
How does the speaker describe the process of approaching girls as a skill that can be developed?
-The speaker describes approaching girls as a skill that can be developed through practice, likening it to altitude training for athletes, making other social interactions easier.
What role do friends play in meeting new people according to the speaker?
-Friends play a significant role as they can introduce you to new people, including potential romantic interests, and this method is becoming more popular among Gen Z.
Why is expanding one's social circle important for meeting girls, as mentioned by the speaker?
-Expanding one's social circle is important because it increases the potential pool of people you can meet, including through friends of friends, and it helps in engaging in social activities more effectively.
What are some of the hobbies or clubs the speaker suggests joining to meet new people?
-The speaker suggests joining clubs or taking up hobbies that one genuinely enjoys, such as running clubs or salsa classes, as they provide a natural environment to meet and interact with others.
Outlines
😔 The Struggles of Modern Dating
The speaker begins by highlighting the difficulty of meeting new people in modern times, particularly due to the collapse of casual interactions. They reflect on their own experience after a breakup, where they found it challenging to meet new people and form relationships. The dating scene felt barren, and the speaker had an especially negative experience with dating apps, which led to a drop in self-esteem. The paragraph concludes with the speaker's realization that modern life is not conducive to forming relationships and sets the stage for their journey to discover better ways to meet people in 2024.
💪 The Power of In-Person Approaches
The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning how to approach and speak to women in person, which they argue is a vital skill in modern dating. They share their personal journey of overcoming fear and building the confidence to initiate conversations with strangers, leading to meaningful connections. The benefits of face-to-face interactions are highlighted, such as the ability to present one's genuine self and the potential for mutual interest to develop naturally. The speaker also discusses the challenges and rewards of this approach, comparing it favorably to the often discouraging experience of dating apps.
🤝 Expanding Social Circles and Group Activities
The speaker suggests expanding one's social circle and participating in group activities as effective ways to meet potential partners. They note a shift among Gen Z towards forming relationships with friends, possibly due to the comfort and familiarity that comes with such connections. The paragraph addresses the shrinking of friendship circles and the importance of branching out to meet new people. The speaker also recommends joining clubs and pursuing hobbies as a means to encounter others who share similar interests, which can naturally lead to forming relationships.
🏃♂️ Prioritizing Personal Growth and Confidence
In the final paragraph, the speaker reiterates the importance of personal development and confidence in meeting and attracting potential partners. They advocate for a shift away from reliance on dating apps, which they view as ineffective and detrimental to self-esteem. The speaker encourages viewers to consider the counterculture movement of meeting people 'in the wild' and to take the initiative to approach and engage with others. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for those seeking meaningful relationships to step out of their comfort zones and embrace the challenge of personal growth and direct interaction.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Modern Dating
💡Isolation
💡Dating Apps
💡Approach Anxiety
💡Confidence
💡Face-to-Face Interaction
💡Social Circles
💡Hobbies and Clubs
💡Personal Development
💡In-Person Dating
💡Gen Z
Highlights
The collapse of small, everyday interactions in modern dating.
Difficulty in meeting new people outside of dating apps.
The importance of learning to approach women in person.
Benefits of meeting people in person over dating apps.
The impact of gender disparity on dating apps.
The value of face-to-face interactions for genuine connection.
The skill of approaching and its transferability to other social situations.
The analogy of approaching as altitude training for social skills.
The counterculture movement back to meeting people 'in the wild'.
The power of being unique in the dating market.
The importance of expanding one's social circle for meeting potential partners.
The role of friends in facilitating new connections and relationships.
The benefits of joining groups, hobbies, and clubs for meeting people.
The significance of shared interests in forming meaningful relationships.
The necessity of personal development and bravery in modern dating.
The transformative impact of learning to approach on self-esteem and social life.
The speaker's personal experience with meeting a partner through approaching.
The speaker's critique of dating apps and a call to abandon them for more effective methods.
Transcripts
the biggest catastrophe of modern dating
has to be the utter collapse of those
small innocuous little interactions that
we all used to have seriously think
about it how many interactions do you
have every week with someone that you've
not met
before I highly doubt it's above five
and of that five I back a bunch of them
are probably Amazon delivery drivers it
is never been more difficult to meet
girls but that's just because it's never
been more difficult to meet people we're
so isolated and insul and I felt this
when I came out of my biggest breakup of
my biggest
relationship I went back out onto the
dating scene and realized that I didn't
know anyone I didn't really have the
biggest social group at the time and I
didn't know how to meet people because
they just didn't seem to be I was coming
out of this breakup thinking oh this is
going to be amazing I'm going to meet
loads of new girls get to know people go
on great dates and simply put that was
not the case I went into what felt like
this Barren Wasteland where you just
didn't know where to head other than
dating apps and it's fair to say I had
an awful experience there cuz I turned
to dating apps and I got essentially no
matches no one was interested it tanked
my
self-esteem and that's a pretty familiar
story so I realized that modern living
isn't really set up to help you find
relationships but all is not lost cuz
after that point I went on a bit of a
journey to find out how do you meet
amazing girls in Modern Life and
especially in
2024 so I'm going to break down the ways
that I did it and the ways that I've
helped other people do it too and I'm
kicking off with the big one cuz I'm not
going to do that trick you know where we
hold the best thing to last so you stay
on the video nah we're going for the big
hitter first cuz I don't want any of you
running off before you get this so
number one is learning how to approach
girls so since that point that
girlfriend that breakdown of my
relationship all of the best girls that
I've ever met have been ones where I had
the balls to go over and speak to her I
didn't know her through a friend it
wasn't a bloody dating app it was
nothing like that often it was me
meeting her on the street where I've
walked over she's on a way to work she's
out shopping I've gone over and said hi
and I'm so grateful that I decided to
work on learning this skill cuz that's
what it is it is a skill to be able to
develop to be able to have that ability
to take yourself across and speak to
someone and not completely crumble and
not show up as a bumbling mess of who
you really are to be able to present
yourself accurately that you are a fun
guy you are interesting and the reason
that approach is so powerful is because
it has a bunch of benefits that you
don't get anywhere else compare it to
like a dating app well fundamentally to
start off with they get to meet
something close to the real you like
it's not a picture it's not an image
it's not a fake version of you all those
other things that don't get conveyed
through a dating app are able to be seen
here it is your confidence it is your
voice tonality your body posture your
humor your intelligence all of this can
actually be communicated in that short
space of time and so many of our
decisions based on what we become
attracted to they're unconscious we
don't just see that person and they tick
off like five boxes and we decide to be
attracted to them that doesn't happen
it's this unconscious process where
suddenly we're just like oh that person
and anytime we try and do this through
photos it just
disregulated to try and judge
attractiveness in that way we need that
face to face and
further when you meet in person like
this
you're on even terms the issue I find
with dating apps because of the gender
disparity that's on there of the fact
there are so many men to so few women
the amount of likes that go from men to
women you're already on the back foot
you're already in this position where
you feel like you're trying to get her
that you're trying to get her attention
across all these other guys when you go
meet her in person you're just two
people talking it becomes real it
becomes even they open up to you and
it's both of you putting effort in
whenever you match on a dating app
you're just you're fighting a losing
battle and that's not something that you
ever have to deal with when you're going
off across and speaking to someone and
yeah I get it's difficult and it's not
something that everyone wants to do
people are even terrified of the thought
because I was I was scared to do this to
start off with and that's why I call it
a skill but do you know what that also
does it already elevates you by the time
you go speak to her because she's
already realized like okay well this guy
is at least somewhat confident and kind
of capable in the sense that he's come
over and speak spoken to me like the
fact that it's difficult means that if
you do it you're already at a stronger
position because you are unique she has
100 different guys blowing up her
Instagram and her Tinder profile but she
doesn't have that many guys that are
willing to go over there and just say hi
you look awesome what's your name
because if you can do that you Opera in
a different world to all this cluster of
guys that are just messaging her begging
for a piece of her attention and she
just gets to see the real you learn to
approaches it's one of the most vital
skills because I like to consider it
like altitude training so if a team is
going to like the World Cup in football
and it's in this really hot humid place
that's high altitude what do they do
prior to doing that they do like a
training camp in somewhere that's even
higher even hotter so then they can come
back down and it's easier well the thing
is it doesn't get any more difficult
than walking up to some random person on
the street and saying hi so then when it
comes to being at a party where you half
kind of know that girl over there that
sort of through a mutual friend you've
got half a connection or at a club that
you go to a runner's Club well it's
bloody easy to go talk to them now cuz
you're used to having to do this in
public in with people that you've never
met so now it becomes easier to meet
girls in every other way and you also
come across really smooth and really
confident because you've done the Reps
like you've done the Reps of going out
and speaking to people and sparking that
conversation so now when you're in a
situation where well I already know some
things about you you're friends with
this person you enjoy this hobby it
becomes so much easier learning approach
isn't just about the fact that now
you're only ever going to find girls
that you go out and deliberately meet in
that way it's a skill that's transferred
to every other way that you meet women
going forward even on a first date like
a first date is awkward but if you've
done that effort of being someone who is
confident with no like prior interaction
the first date becomes
easy I cannot Hammer home how important
this is in 2024 that if you want to meet
women learning to be able to be brave
enough to go out on the street because I
can see the excuses already of like oh
it's scary or whatever the police will
come after me she'll hate it she'll
scream I've done over a thousand
approaches and if you go up and you're
polite and you're relatively normal
nothing bad will ever happen I've never
had issues across my entire time if you
just go across and be polite and be like
hi I thought you looked awesome today I
really like your dress whatever it is
whatever thing that is unique to that
circumstance it's like you go over you
say hi the worst thing they can do the
worst thing they can do is when they
walk straight past you because then
you're just like oh I'm invisible oh no
but uh you Rally from it real quick
because that's the thing once you can
get a few under your belt it just
becomes so much easier that getting that
first one being able to go over and say
hi that first time is the biggest step
and I'll do a video soon on everything
that I did to help myself get into the
habit of speaking to girls in this
manner cuz I know it's unusual but
that's what played to your benefit the
fact that it is unusual means it's such
a narrow field that you're competing in
why compete against the hordes of other
guys compete in the smallest Market
possible that has the highest leverage
so that is fundamentally the first place
that I think and sorry I have hey
FIFA and the one where I think you just
have the best chance I think it has
everything possible going for it and it
shouldn't be ignored just because it
feels scary truly it changed my life it
meant that when I got somewhat deported
from Bulgaria and had to come back to
the UK
and I was kind of mopy that I just set
up a bit of a thing there with having
relationships with girls and then I was
lonely and didn't have all my friends
around me I was able to fall back on
this skill I was able to go into a city
center and meet someone new and I've
been dating her ever since and it's been
really great and it was all off the fact
that I was brave enough to go out that
day I built up this skill built up that
ability to speak to people that I don't
know and that it will take you away from
feeling like you have to use apps I will
never download an app again cuz I don't
need to because it's not working in your
favor and I would go on the rant right
now of every single way that Tinder and
the rest of them are dragging your
self-esteem down to hell but we already
have enough videos of that and as
frustrated as it makes
me let's keep on with where you can meet
people so I've already mentioned these
second two that I'm going to throw in
there and it is through friends funny
enough gen Z are actually leaning into
this more the the new data coming out is
that dating apps were largely a
millennial Affair and gen Z are leaning
more into going out with people that
they were friends with I think it's
likely due to having that comfort and
familiarity factor and sort of pushing
back against the whole dating up culture
but it's still a really good way but the
reason that became more problematic is
because our friendship Circle shrunk
like we used to have comfortably six or
more friends easy and they would have
six or more friends and it creates this
like Matrix web going off out into the
world we don't really have that anymore
most people have like maybe two friends
and those people have two friends so
instead of being in a position where
you're like one away from about 100
people instead you're like one away from
10 it's just not it's not anywhere near
the same so being able to Branch out
your Social Circles is massive for being
able to meet girls cuz you never know
it's beneficial to you in multiple
different facets that when you are going
out and doing socializing things it's
rare that you're doing it on your own so
you actually need friends to be able to
go out and do stuff with even if this
girl isn't unknown but they'll also
bring in girls into the group maybe one
of them gets a girlfriend and she has a
friend it's still a really good way to
meet people and there's a reason that it
always used to be the most popular is
because it encourages people to behave
properly for one the the reason that
dating apps are so bad is because of the
anonymity of them you can just kind of
be an on dating apps and there's
no repercussions but when people used to
get set up by friends it encourages you
to be on your best behavior you're
somewhat accountable because you're um
Association to the friends who have set
you up so it's far less likely you're
going to flake it's far less likely
you're going to turn up and be an
you're actually going to put the
effort in to try and make it work and I
think that's why friendship ones work
quite
successfully thirdly that is groups
Hobbies clubs smash through going
through to these and pick the ones that
you enjoy like it's important for you to
have hobbies anyway it's important for
you to be out there doing the things
that you want to do and I know this
feels like effort having to be like oh
my God I have to attend different clubs
I have to have different friends but a
relationship is going to be the most
valuable thing that you have in your
entire life it is four times more um has
a four times higher effect on your life
satisfaction than your career
choice it is important so it means
putting in that extra effort being the
person that you can be and maybe it is
going to a badminton social maybe it is
going to salsa classes these are
genuinely really good ways to meet
people they just require effort and be
smart about it there are certain events
where it's like it's highly unlikely
that you're going to meet your dream
girl there if it's just some like M only
engineering club it's not it's probably
not going to be right for you and that
doesn't mean you just turn up and be a
predator at these events either but it
means going to something that you
naturally enjoy for me if I was trying
to start now i' go i' probably go to a
running club like I really love running
uh that also means that if I went to one
I'd be able to have like a somewhat High
status role in that group because I'm
good at running and enjoy it which also
helps but mainly just CU I love it and I
know it's a hobby that both girls and
boys love I'd also go to salsa classes
I've done that loads of times they're
definitely girls that go there and you
pick up an awesome skill and get
comfortable being in a close close
intimate interaction with a girl which
might be just exactly what you need
anyway to go and do these kind of things
picking clubs picking Hobbies really
effective but I'm still going to put you
back on number one I still think if you
to look for anything to replace your
dating apps which are entirely
ineffective it's deciding to go out and
approach girls and I know it seems scary
but it's entirely worth it and it's once
you've crossed that bridge and you've
started to be that guy you'll never turn
back and you'll be more confident and
it'll help you in every area of your
life and it's what is necessary we are
having a counterculture movement back to
meeting people I saw it referred to as
in the wild as opposed to on dating apps
and that truly is the most effective way
to meet people in
20124 so if this is calling out to you
maybe you've been single for a while now
and you're desperate to have a
girlfriend that you really feel like
you've done that personal development
you've worked on yourself but it's still
not happening for you why I break down
in this video here how you can go about
getting girlfriend in 2024 without using
dating apps
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