Stay OFF the DATING APPS. Here's WHY
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker expresses gratitude for reaching 5,000 subscribers and delves into the pros and cons of dating apps. He argues that dating apps are a waste of time, particularly for men, due to the overwhelming number of users and the superficial nature of interactions. The speaker shares personal experiences of ghosting, superficial selection, and the emotional toll of constant rejection. He suggests that the apps can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and proposes solutions like limiting the number of potential matches. Despite some success stories, the overall message is a cautionary one, advising men to stay off dating apps and encouraging women to be mindful of the quality of matches they make.
Takeaways
- π The speaker expresses gratitude for reaching 5,000 subscribers and encourages viewers to rate, like, subscribe, and share videos.
- π« The main advice given is to stay off dating apps, as the speaker believes they are a waste of time and can negatively impact self-esteem.
- π¨βπ¨ There are more men than women on dating apps, leading to men being more desperate and women becoming more selective, often referred to as 'hypergamous'.
- π¬ Communication on dating apps can be one-sided, with many matches not leading to meaningful conversations or dates.
- π€ The speaker suggests that dating apps can be an ego destroyer, as men often face rejection and struggle to stand out among many other profiles.
- π° Men often have to pay for dating apps, while women may not, which the speaker finds unfair and another reason to avoid these platforms.
- π« The speaker criticizes the superficiality of dating apps, where physical appearance and income can be overemphasized, leading to missed connections with potentially compatible partners.
- π€ The speaker proposes a solution to limit the number of matches one can have at a time to encourage more meaningful interactions.
- π The script mentions the need for thorough vetting of potential matches, suggesting that even with verified profiles, users should be cautious.
- π€³ The speaker discusses the phenomenon of 'catfishing' and the importance of having a face-to-face interaction or video call to verify someone's identity.
- π The script touches on the addictive nature of dating apps, where the constant need for validation and dopamine hits can lead to compulsive use.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video?
-The main topic of the video is the discussion of the pros and cons of using dating apps, with a focus on the experiences and challenges faced by users, particularly men.
Why does the speaker suggest that dating apps are a waste of time?
-The speaker suggests that dating apps are a waste of time because they can lead to hours spent on the apps without meaningful results, and they can negatively impact a person's self-esteem and confidence.
What is the 'shotgun method approach' mentioned in the script?
-The 'shotgun method approach' refers to the strategy where users, particularly men, send out a large number of messages to potential matches in the hope of getting a response, which can lead to overwhelming the recipients.
Why does the speaker believe that men should stay off dating apps?
-The speaker believes that men should stay off dating apps because of the high competition, the tendency for women to be inundated with messages, and the potential for the apps to damage men's self-esteem and ego.
What is the phenomenon of 'ghosting' mentioned in the script?
-Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without any explanation, which is a behavior the speaker has experienced and witnessed on dating apps.
What solution does the speaker propose to improve the dating app experience?
-The speaker proposes limiting the number of matches a user can have at one time, requiring users to either go on a date or provide a reason for not pursuing a match before they can match with more people.
Why does the speaker think that women might be overwhelmed on dating apps?
-The speaker thinks women might be overwhelmed because they receive a high volume of messages and have to sort through many potential matches, which can make the process superficial and stressful.
What is the 'balloon pop phenomenon' referred to in the script?
-The 'balloon pop phenomenon' is a metaphor used by the speaker to describe the instant dismissal of potential matches based on superficial criteria, such as a single aspect of their profile or appearance.
How does the speaker feel about the idea of women dating men in prison through dating apps?
-The speaker expresses confusion and disbelief about the phenomenon of women dating men in prison, indicating that it's a surprising and complex aspect of the dating app culture.
What advice does the speaker give regarding the use of dating apps?
-The speaker advises users to be selective, do thorough research, and vet potential matches carefully, while also considering the emotional toll that using dating apps might take.
Outlines
π Gratitude and Introduction to Dating App Discussion
The speaker begins by expressing gratitude for reaching 5,000 subscribers and encourages viewers to engage with the content by liking, subscribing, and sharing. They then transition into the main topic of the video, which is a discussion about dating apps. The speaker suggests that viewers should stay off dating apps, hinting at personal experiences and broader societal observations that will be elaborated upon in the video.
π± Critique of Dating Apps and Personal Experiences
The speaker delves into the reasons why dating apps are a waste of time, highlighting the imbalance of more men than women on these platforms. They share personal anecdotes of using dating apps, expressing frustration with the lack of meaningful connections and the prevalence of ghosting. The speaker also discusses the hyper-selective nature of women on dating apps and how it affects men's self-esteem and the overall dating experience.
π« The Downsides of Online Dating
This paragraph focuses on the negative aspects of online dating, such as the time and money wasted, the impact on self-esteem, and the superficiality that can come with swiping culture. The speaker suggests that the constant need for validation and the high competition on dating apps can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression. They also touch upon the issue of catfishing and the importance of having face-to-face interactions to verify authenticity.
π Weighing the Pros and Cons of Dating Apps
The speaker acknowledges that while there are potential benefits to using dating apps, such as the ability to filter out undesirable traits and find people with specific qualities, the overall experience is largely negative. They discuss the superficial selection criteria that users employ, like height and income, and how this can lead to missed opportunities for genuine connections. The speaker also mentions the phenomenon of users returning to dating apps after deleting their profiles, suggesting an addictive quality to the platforms.
π¬ Final Thoughts and Call for Audience Input
In the concluding paragraph, the speaker reiterates their suggestion for men to avoid dating apps and questions the likelihood of women finding quality partners on these platforms. They invite viewers to share their experiences, whether positive or negative, and emphasize the importance of vetting potential matches thoroughly. The speaker also expresses confusion and concern about the trend of women dating incarcerated men through specific dating services, highlighting the complexity and peculiarities of modern dating behaviors.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Dating Apps
π‘Ghosting
π‘Hypergamous
π‘Self-esteem
π‘Validation
π‘Inundated
π‘Catfishing
π‘Selective
π‘Ego
π‘Vetting
π‘Phenomenon
Highlights
The speaker expresses gratitude for reaching 5,000 subscribers and encourages engagement with their content.
A discussion on the negative impacts of dating apps on self-esteem and personality is introduced.
It's suggested that dating apps are a waste of time due to the high number of men compared to women, leading to a lack of matches.
The speaker shares personal experiences of using dating apps and the challenges faced, such as not receiving responses.
A critique of the 'shotgun method' used by men on dating apps, leading to women being overwhelmed with messages.
The concept of 'ghosting' on dating apps is mentioned, where matches do not respond after an initial interaction.
The speaker proposes a solution to limit the number of matches one can have at a time to improve the dating app experience.
The financial aspect of dating apps is discussed, noting that men often have to pay while women do not.
The speaker reflects on the superficiality of dating apps, where physical appearance and income are overemphasized.
A suggestion is made to improve the app experience by requiring users to justify unmatching before matching with new people.
The speaker discusses the addictive nature of dating apps and the dopamine hits they provide.
The impact of dating apps on mental health, including feelings of inadequacy and depression, is highlighted.
The speaker shares anecdotes of meeting people through dating apps and the mixed results of those experiences.
A call to action for listeners to share their experiences with dating apps, especially if they have had positive outcomes.
The speaker concludes by reiterating the negative aspects of dating apps and suggesting that they may not be worth the time or emotional investment.
Transcripts
hey everybody you know who it is thank
you so much for for checking out this
video um I want to jump right into it
but but we're going to get to some
announcements first and uh I want to
thank everyone over 5,000 people 5,000
subs thank you thank you I'm very very
humbled and very flattered to be a part
of your life uh that you would think
that I give what whatever I talk about
that you feel it worthy to continue to
listen so please continue to listen hit
that rate button hit give it a thumbs up
sub uh and I appreciate it
um also make sure that you are sharing
the videos you know you know I I really
would appreciate that um people tell me
they share it with a couple of their
nieces nephews cousins Brothers whatever
I I appreciate that it's again it's a
humbling
experience all right so let's jump into
it um before I bore everyone um so
dating apps stay off of the dating apps
thank you much love and peace take care
stay off the dating apps why should you
stay off the dating apps well they're
you know there's a there's a brother up
here right he did a I was kind of
surfing around one day and this came up
and he did a video about dating apps and
the majority of his videos have been
about
um working out so he kind of ventured
off into this new dating app territory
and you know there there's been a lot of
studies that have been going on people
looking into this I should have went
there people have been looking into
whole dating app phenomenon you know
what it's doing to people's
personalities what it's doing to
people's uh sense of self-esteem their
sense of
selfworth and uh you know and all that
so you know I'm not going to get all
scientific on on us but you know I have
read a little bit about
it so first off is that it
does uh it's a waste of time first and
foremost you should get out the dating
apps because they're a waste of time now
there are more men on dating apps I put
up
some numbers here they more men UND
dating ANS so the women are just
inundated right guys are you know quote
unquote thirsty or whatever the term is
now right I sound all old but uh but the
guys are you know they're really really
you know anxious desirous thirsty
whatever to to get someone so they just
put all these different feelers out
right the shotgun method approach and so
that makes that that is making the women
more hypergamous more selective right a
guy who was you know back in the days
was was was guaranteed to get a woman
you know based on his height
characteristics his job his job you know
he was guaranteed he guaranteed to get a
woman now that same guy he's on the
dating app he he doesn't get anything
listen I you know I do I've always kind
of done all right but I you know I spent
some time in the dating I I was going I
was going weeks weeks without a match
weeks I you got to be what's what's
wrong with me right then you then
there's a whole phenomenon about when
you do match right they're not call
they're not they're not talking back to
you they're you know the I had a girl
one
time pretty girl she listen you know
they get attention the're pretty girl
I'm not the only one who thinks she's
pretty she's so she we match she I'm
like you know whatever is whatever I
said she's like oh you know fineing you
that's what she said you know doing good
you know okay so I'm like ah man you
know what's up with this right women
have no game yeah no game all right so
she's like you know fine and you and
then so I'm like okay so whatever I
wrote then the next day she wrote back
she wrote back I'm good in you so that
just told me she wasn't really reading
it she was sifting through all this
different stuff why like why why is this
so
low uh so she wasn't really reading it
and all that kind of stuff so I'm like
uh you know I just so I just unmatched
with her it just you know between the
ghosting between the ladies having being
inundated with different messages
um you got to be you got to be and you
know it was it it was a learning
experience to being on there because
women would say now I would be up there
like you know hey how you doing right
and I wouldn't get any kind of play so
I'm like man you know so I read do
research you know me I'm doing research
right so I'm like man you know what
what's up with this you know so they
said you know you got to do you got to
you know be Charming you got to stand
out you know this down and the other
read a profile over quote something from
her profile so I started doing that and
the ladies would say that you know so I
would get more respons responses when
when you did that type of thing but then
after a while it's
like and then after a while like they
start responding to that because now
everybody's on the game
everybody's doing that kind of stuff
right so I'm going spend you can spend
all day it's a it's a Time waster you
could spend all day reading profiles
trying to get the right words to to to
to to do whatever the amount of matches
that you the amount of profiles that you
have to read in order to get a match you
you go through a 100 profiles you got to
read them all Quote something to them
try to make him laugh giggle say say
something to stand out and then she
doesn't have to do any of
that and to get no dates from it or
she's talking to two you and five other
people I think that one thing they
should do to fix the
matches I think one thing they should do
is you you you can only
get I would say like four four matches
at a
time four matches at a time you can't
get anymore you can't scroll in any more
you can't like any more people you got
to weed these people out you got to you
got to either go on a date with them or
whatever that would that would solve a
big problem that would solve a big that
would solve a lot of it if they would
just put a put a cap on how many people
you can like at a time four or five five
of the most four or five people you got
to talk to them is it going anywhere did
it go on the date and you can't match
anyone else until you've given a reason
that you've that you've gone off for
these people I don't talk you know uh
you try to match with somebody else but
what happened to these other five well
this guy uh we weren't compatible okay
he's he's gone this guy uh you know went
on a date with him and he's gone okay
he's gone now you can match with one
other person two other people whatever
so I think that would stop a lot of this
foolishness so the women out there are
inundated with just me with just people
more men are on the dating apps the
women are having their their their pick
of the litter and uh you know it's just
uh crap 284
284 um to
um here so they're so they're just
having their they they they sweet old
good old
time uh so it's a waste of time for a
guy right you're spending money and the
guys spend money so I'm I was chatting
with this girl one time I don't think we
ever got to the stage where we went out
I can't remember and um I was like you
know I was cuz I was and literally like
I I had gone on there I'm like I'm done
with the dating app so I was going to go
over here delete my profile so then I
see I have a message like oh okay well
at least talk to this man so we start
talking like oh you know I just kind of
saw you you know I'm like yeah I was
about to I was about to cancel my
subscription you know I was like I'm not
paying for this anymore she's like you
got to pay so the guys gotta
pay the guys got to pay and the women
don't have to pay you know I don't you
know different apps I was on a couple of
them right and then you know with Bumble
they just went from
hanging what Bumble do bumble went from
you having
to the women made the first move now
they don't have to make the first move
anymore right and so when they made the
first move I got a couple M got a couple
matches one one or two dates and Bumble
but the women
like all they would say is Hi
they had no game they had no game women
had no
game
hi and I remember reading one post by by
you know I don't know where I read it at
Facebook or something it's like women
went through all this women empowerment
and all they all you get is a high on on
Bumble no game right so now they see
they see how hard it is they don't even
want to do it anymore they don't want to
do it anymore right so it's too much
work it's too it's awkward men women
making a first move so much for female
empowerment so much for for gender
equality right okay so it's a waste of
time from it's a waste of money it's a
waste of time uh you're you're got to
weed through this it destroys your ego
right destroys your self self-esteem
like I said I listen I never really had
a problem right you know I I at a mall
whatever you know where I was I was at I
never really had a problem I was married
for a long time so I wasn't looking but
even when I did start looking or I just
never had that problem never had that
issue
so but you get on
there don't stand guys don't stand a
chance you're an average guy average
income and I CH I tell this to women
like like women would say oh you know
it's not it's easy you know this that
the other anybody could do
it you you as a woman it's easy you you
could be an average looking woman and
you will have you you set up your
profile 8 o'clock in the morning you
check your profile when you come home
from work 7even 8 o'clock at
night you got I I guarantee you got well
over 100 messages well over and you
think it's like that for men and it's
not and they've done experiments like
this and the women if you look at their
if you look at their faces when they'
done these experiments like they could
see them starting to to get depressed
like man this is crazy what man this is
bad this is what men go through
so you got to really you know watch it
with that and it it ties into your sense
of selfworth self-esteem and it can
cause you to be depressed and there have
been studies about this some say more
than others right it'll cause you as I
talked about you can spend all day
scrolling but it'll cause you
to it'll cause you to
um to really feel bad about yourself
yourself right feel like you're you're
somehow inadequate and that's just not
the case it's not the case that you're
inadequate it's the case that that the
that the times change the women are
vastly more H hypergamous vastly more
selective and uh you know you got to be
a top 10 person right and then not to
mention right that the amount of persons
who are you know not only flooding their
inbox but they're flooding it from all
over right right you got guys from
California and Virginia and all hitting
up someone who lives in New York
and he's wanting to fly you out he's got
money where am I going shoot that's the
wrong
way he's got you know all this stuff
right so you there you know the
competition is just stiff and heavy not
to mention the type of people are on
there you know what are you looking for
look certain places people are just
looking to hook
up to buy a new charger I couldn't from
my
charger so the people who are on there
the type of people are on there just
looking the hook up or whatever is
whatever so you know you really got to
got to do all that so those are some of
the those are some of the cons I get the
cons first so you really just got to be
very very selective um let's all about
the weeding out process right so you got
to have these conversations you know I'm
assuming that catfishing has gotten
better right some of the apps now at
least the last time I was on there they
they had uh the the chat feature uh the
the video conference feature so listen
that was that was it for me we first
time we talked talk talk okay
let's got have a we got to have a we got
to have a face to face
here we got to have a face to face and I
it was funny man I had ladies didn't
want to do it listen I can't do it right
now and I'm driving to work I'm like
well just drive to work and just video
conference me
on people out there playing games
they're not serious they say they want
this but they really don't want it you
know I I don't I don't have time I just
don't have time for that so I think I
told this before I got off because you
know cuz everybody was complaining about
they said how much you know urine was in
the or pee was in the uh was in a dating
pool and I think it was Kendra G she
said I'm like you know what let me get
out of here a bit because I'm not going
to keep swimming in the pool that where
people are saying there's pee in it so
she said there's you know there's pee in
the pool You Know da didn't Market is
this way cuz you're in it that wasn't
for me I'm not I'm not going to deal
with that
so um my phone
here so you know these are all things
you got to kind of look out for watch
out for and and all that so those are
some of the cons as far as time wasted
money wasted uh you know you know
there's there I don't know if it's um
been validated but they say that you
know that they're doing the rub rubrics
is the wrong word but the the data
analysis right to try to keep the the
type of woman that you like away from
you the keeps you scrolling keeps you
there keeps you paying keeps them away
from you right and then maybe they'll
give you a
hint uh you know oh here here's
one so you really got to just be very
very
selective um you know just very
thoughtful in what you're doing and make
sure you're doing everything for the
right reasons and all that so what else
Pros are there any pros to it some
people do me um you know it can I can't
think of much of any much
I can't think of of a lot some people do
meet you know somebody was in the in in
the in in the comment section wed me to
do this video I'm talk about the pros
and cons of it I can't really think of a
lot this is not going to be a long video
um you got to do your research and
figure out you know what it is that you
want weigh the pros and cons and if
there's anything that I missed but um
besides time wasters money wasters you
know low self-esteem your your your
confidence is being being lost you know
it's just a money pit and then people
come back to it it's almost it's almost
addicting right I mean we all know that
these phones are addicting they're
giving us the the dopamine hits I'm
assuming just the same thing with um
with the with the with the apps right oh
who liked me today who's liking me who's
validating me now and who's who's
looking at my pictures who's liking my
profiles I think that a lot of ladies
are really just kind of just going for
that just that that is enough somebody
told me I look beautiful today so
Facebook somebody told me I look look
I'm gorgeous today somebody liked my
picture somebody told me that I'm great
somebody somebody validated
me so you know and then they they reject
all these different dudes right I know
the percentages something like guys
think like um I'm just kind of
spitballing here 60% of the pictures
that come across something like that and
the ladies you know between 5 and 10% it
might even be less than that three to
five I'm not
sure so you really I mean what kind of
odds are those man you know guys are
again doing a shotgun method they're
putting it out there these women are so
selective right if you're not this and
that this that working here right what
that what that what's that song 65 blue
eyes with
Finance
okay
okay all
right I
mean you and you want that guy you want
that six5 guy
that everybody wants guy in
finance you want him to settle down and
get
married so the pros could be that you
could that you could find someone it
would help you to filter out um some of
the things you don't want again I think
that that ties into the negative you
being too hyper selective but but it can
help you to get with the things that
you're looking for you know height money
making sure he's on his game you know
get to see a little bit about him
pictures and
stuff
so you know some of the stuff man that
would be up there man you know comical
pictures like like this picture looked
like it was taken in
1973 like like the picture's all blurry
and stuff how do you have a how do you
have a blurry picture 2023 2024 2025 how
how do you have a blurry how does that
even still exist a blurry picture you
look at the picture that you took you
delete it and you take another one
how do you have a blur and you up this
is the picture you chose to upload that
ought to be a that's a that talking
about a red flag this is the picture you
chose to
upload you know you got to ask what when
was this I always ask that question to
when was this picture taken if it wasn't
taking the last 6 months delete I
mean 6 months might even be
to at least at least 6
months you know so you can kind of uh
sort through you know the religious
practices whether they're into polygamy
polyamory whatever they're into right so
you can filter all that
out music and all that kind of stuff I
think those are some of probably some of
the probes but overall I think that if
that men ought to just get off of it
entirely and the message is not out the
and I just looked this up a little while
ago right so men are still kind of
the uh primary members on there right so
so if you're a lady on there man you you
you are live you you and and ladies get
overwhelmed right some some of the
studies are talking about how the ladies
are
overwhelmed right how can you how can
you
effectively as I gave you you go to work
at you set your profile at 8:00 at night
let's just say you go to work in the
morning you come home 5 6 7 o'cl at
night you start checking your your
profiles after
work and you got you got I guarantee you
got 150 messages and not to being
conservative how do you sort through
those guys and and after while it just
become superficial okay God this guys
okay I'm just going to sort through
everybody who's under six feet right all
this all the all the
5'11 all the 5'11 guys are
gone and under okay all the guys who
make less than $150,000 but but but that
says nothing to the guy's character
so says nothing to to whether he's a
liar or
not there nothing about
that so I mean there there are good
things that can come of it so you just
got to kind of weed through it sift
through it get through it try to figure
it out do the best you can um and if you
would have met someone you know tell us
about your
experiences and uh you know what was it
like and and how did you really kind of
sift through this this Jungle of of
information that you had to get through
I guarantee it's not easy um and I went
through a couple of dates some some
actually still call up today we're still
kind of
cool um some nice people couple people I
met I I told you about they really
wanted to kind of you
know Exchange rings and all that so you
can meet you can meet some nice people
you can meet some nice people
and I think that the whole coming back
to a thing is is interesting I'm not
going back I'm deleting it 6 months
later they're back on there 3 months
later they're back on there that's
interesting that's a phenomenon that
probably needs a little bit more study
but it's dope and mean head so they're
missed the validation they miss
that
so so those are just some of my thoughts
about it um listen I suggest people
don't try it if you're a woman how I
suggest a men don't do it but if you're
a woman why I mean you have you picking
the letter I don't think you're going to
meet quality guy I don't think that yeah
I don't think I think your chances of
meeting quality guys is diminished
because you got to sort through them and
if you're going to be hyper selective
about superficial about how much they
make um you know you know or you don't
like their clothes you know the balloon
pop phenomenon I I deleted this guy or
popped my balloon because because of was
clothes listen back in the days a woman
would see a man thinky had no style I'm
like listen I can work work with this
guy I'm going take him to get a
haircut make sure he gets his teeth
fixed I think you should make the guy
pay for that get his teeth fixed right
got his teeth fixed give him some style
that that's completely you want to meet
the guy completely at the Finish Line I
didn't help this SP in anything all
right versus the you I guess some some
women are on vast the other side they
want a complete project right they'll
take a man straight out of prison yeah
it's
crazy right speaking of prison right so
they're they're dating these women in
pron women are dating men in prison and
getting married to these men in prison
they meet them on these J dates and uh
or whatever you know
whatever emailing and I know L I know
ladies are doing it you can't be that
bad out you you're talking about and
people it's funny because in the comment
section people like oh you know big up
what kind of ladies you dating what kind
of I'm dating all master degrees M the
low the lowest I have was a was a bass
everybody else going have master's
degrees so they're nice ladies and it
still
happens so you're still meeting this so
the so the ladies are on here dating
dating pookies were in prison I can't
wait for my husband to get home I can't
wait for him to get
out I don't know what's going
on I don't know what's going on I want
to know what's going on like I hear
Marvin I don't know what's going on I
don't understand it so you tell
me so let me know your thoughts your
opinions right about what's going on the
balloon pop shows dating people in
prison the ghosting the the ignored text
the leaving people on red and yes those
those are where I met people those are I
met people
who would stop talking to
you once you told them I had to degree I
mean that was literally last thing oh
yeah yeah you know what do you do for a
living you know this down the other oh
man that must be smart you have a what's
your you know you have a degree yeah I
got a doctor that was the last
message I don't want to make this about
me cuz cuz then it just comes off
something's wrong with me or something
wrong with you but I I can deal with
that projection but it's just not worth
it this is a phenomenon is going on that
everybody's complaining about you know
low feelings of low self-esteem and all
that kind of stuff right but to you who
have met somebody online tell us about
your experiences congratulations to you
I believe that one of the the woman who
put this on here talking about getting
married just do your vetting watch my
vetting video you still got to vet I
mean these people would verified
profiles on you still have to vet you
still got to do that oh and I I you can
still run a by run a brother by me
University you could still do that
so run a brother run run a brother by me
University so listen it is what it is
man I mean it's crazy crazy out here all
right I don't really have much more to
add to this so I don't want to rant so
much love and peace everyone let me know
your thoughts your opinions hit me in
the comments
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