Why Indian Men Get Zero Matches On Dating Apps | Explained With Data

Summary

This video script explores the human need for long-term partnerships, contrasting us with the majority of species that avoid such bonds. It delves into the biological and social reasons behind our pair-bonding behaviors, facilitated by hormones like oxytocin. The script critiques modern dating apps, revealing how their algorithms can distort the dating market and affect users' self-esteem. It discusses the potential negative impacts of these apps on society and relationships, advocating for more authentic, offline connections to foster meaningful relationships.

Takeaways

• 🧠 Humans are part of the 3% of mammals that form long-term cooperative partnerships, which is facilitated by hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin.
• ❤️ Pair bonding is crucial for survival, and the lack of it can lead to shorter lifespans, indicating the importance of social connections.
• 💡 The dating landscape is heavily influenced by algorithms that prioritize user engagement over successful matches, affecting users' self-worth.
• 💸 Dating apps are a lucrative business, with companies like Match.com making significant profits by gamifying the user experience.
• 🔍 Collaborative filtering in dating apps reinforces biases and limits user exposure to a diverse range of potential matches.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The gender imbalance on dating apps, with more men than women, skews the dating market and affects match outcomes.
• 🎯 Attractiveness plays a significant role in dating app success, with a few users receiving the majority of likes, highlighting the power law in action.
• 🚫 The commodification of human beings on dating apps promotes a shallow, consumerist approach to relationships, devaluing emotional connections.
• ⏳ There's a cultural and societal pressure to marry before turning 30 in India, which can limit the pool of potential partners as one ages.
• 🌐 The video editing cohort by Aevy is a successful initiative, training over 1800 video editors and providing job opportunities in a growing market.

Q & A

What percentage of living species seek lasting partnerships?

Only 3% of living species seek lasting partnerships, with humans being a part of this minority.

How does pair bonding in humans contribute to survival?

Pair bonding in humans contributes to survival by forming strong attachments, working as a team, sharing resources, and creating family units, which are facilitated by the release of hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin.

What is the impact of not finding a partner or love on a person's lifespan?

Individuals who do not find a partner or love tend to have shorter lifespans on average, as suggested by the paper mentioned in the script.

How much are Indians projected to spend on dating apps by the end of 2024?

Indians are projected to spend around $400 million on dating apps by the end of 2024.

What is the inherent business model of dating apps according to the script?

The inherent business model of dating apps is to keep users swiping and engaged on the platform, rather than finding a perfect match, as this would lead to users leaving the app and the company losing revenue.

What is collaborative filtering and how does it work in dating apps?

Collaborative filtering is a method used by dating apps to generate recommendations based on the majority opinion, not just personal preferences. It shows users potential matches based on historical data of other users, which can reinforce bias and limit the diversity of profiles seen.

How does the simulation with 1000 virtual profiles reveal the distortion in the real dating market by dating apps?

The simulation reveals that due to the imbalance of men to women on dating apps, men receive fewer likes and matches. Additionally, the attractiveness of profiles plays a significant role, with a small number of users receiving the majority of likes, creating a power law dynamic on dating apps.

What is the 'paradox of choice' and how does it affect users on dating apps?

The 'paradox of choice' refers to the phenomenon where having too many options can lead to indecision and dissatisfaction. On dating apps, this can cause users to become paralyzed, always seeking an 'upgrade' and never fully investing in any one connection.

Why is it suggested to start thinking about long-term relationships in your 20s?

It is suggested to start thinking about long-term relationships in your 20s because the pool of potential partners reduces as one gets older, and cultural pressures in India often encourage marriage before the age of 30.

How does the script suggest finding meaningful relationships?

The script suggests finding meaningful relationships by engaging in offline, real-world connections, participating in community events, and focusing on authentic communication and building long-lasting bonds.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Human Pair Bonding and the Impact of Dating Apps

The paragraph discusses the unique characteristic of humans to form long-term partnerships, setting us apart from most other species. It attributes this to the human brain's reward system that encourages pair bonding through hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin. The speaker then critiques modern dating apps, suggesting that they exploit human desires for connection for profit, often at the expense of users' self-esteem. The paragraph also touches on the business model of dating apps, which may be designed to keep users engaged rather than help them find meaningful relationships, and it highlights the potential negative psychological effects of these apps.

05:01

🔍 The Algorithmic Bias and Market Distortion in Dating Apps

This paragraph delves into the mechanics of how dating apps use algorithms to match users, often leading to biases and a distorted representation of the dating market. It explains collaborative filtering, which influences user matches based on majority preferences rather than individual choices. The paragraph also discusses an experiment that demonstrates how dating apps can exacerbate gender imbalances and attractiveness disparities, resulting in a few users receiving the majority of matches. The speaker argues that these apps commoditize human relationships and encourage a transactional approach to dating, which may lead to a paradox of choice and hinder the formation of deep connections.

10:02

💬 The Importance of Early Investment in Long-Term Relationships

The speaker emphasizes the importance of investing in long-term relationships at a younger age, noting that as people age, their cognitive flexibility decreases, making it harder to adapt to new experiences and form new connections. They argue that the pool of potential partners reduces as one gets older and societal pressures often lead to rushed decisions. The paragraph also touches on the benefits of being in a loving relationship, including improved mental and physical health, economic stability, and social support. The speaker encourages viewers to invest in building meaningful connections and to seek authentic communication beyond the limitations of digital platforms.

15:03

🌐 The Decline of Communication Skills and the Need for Offline Connections

In the final paragraph, the speaker criticizes the modern trend of poor communication in relationships, such as ghosting, and its negative impact on mental health. They discuss the importance of in-person interactions and the role of offline communities in fostering meaningful relationships. The speaker suggests that by participating in real-life social events and communities, individuals can improve their communication skills and increase their chances of forming lasting connections. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for viewers to step away from screens and engage in authentic, face-to-face interactions to build meaningful relationships.

Keywords

💡Pair bonding

Pair bonding refers to the formation of long-term partnerships between individuals, often involving emotional and social attachment. In the context of the video, it highlights humans' unique characteristic among mammals to form such bonds, which is crucial for survival and is facilitated by hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin. The video emphasizes that this biological drive for connection is deeply ingrained in our nature, influencing our pursuit of relationships.

💡Oxytocin

Oxytocin is a hormone that plays a role in social bonding, trust, and attachment. The video explains that oxytocin is released in the brain to facilitate pair bonding, contributing to the formation of strong attachments and cooperative relationships. It's depicted as a 'happy hormone' that has evolved to enhance our social intelligence and cooperative skills, underscoring its importance in human relationships.

💡Vasopressin

Vasopressin, similar to oxytocin, is a hormone that influences social bonding and attachment. The script mentions vasopressin as another 'happy hormone' that aids in forming bonds, suggesting that it works in tandem with oxytocin to promote long-term partnerships. This hormone is part of the biological mechanism that makes humans inclined towards pair bonding.

💡Dating algorithms

Dating algorithms are the set of rules or processes used by dating apps to match users based on their preferences and interactions. The video discusses how these algorithms can impact users' self-worth and the dating experience, often creating a sense of competition and gamification. It critiques the way these algorithms might not reflect the true dynamics of human connection and can lead to superficial judgments.

💡Collaborative filtering

Collaborative filtering is a technique used by dating apps to recommend potential matches based on the collective preferences of a user group rather than individual preferences. The video uses the example of 'Monster Match' to illustrate how this method can reinforce biases and limit the diversity of options users see, thereby affecting the potential for diverse and meaningful connections.

💡Bateman's principle

Bateman's principle, derived from evolutionary psychology, suggests that males typically invest less in individual offspring and are more likely to seek multiple mating opportunities. The video references this principle to explain the observed behavior on dating apps where men tend to like profiles more frequently than women, influencing the dynamics of matching and the perceived attractiveness on these platforms.

💡Power law

The power law, as mentioned in the video, refers to a distribution where a small number of entities hold a large share of the resources or attention. In the context of dating apps, it's used to describe how a minority of users receive the majority of likes, creating an uneven playing field and potentially skewing users' perceptions of their own attractiveness and desirability.

💡Paradox of choice

The paradox of choice is a concept where having too many options can lead to decision paralysis or dissatisfaction. The video discusses how the abundance of potential matches on dating apps can create this paradox, making users constantly question their choices and always wonder if a better option is just a swipe away, thus preventing them from fully committing to any one connection.

💡Cognitive flexibility

Cognitive flexibility is the brain's ability to switch between thinking about different concepts or to think about multiple concepts simultaneously. The video explains that as people age, their cognitive flexibility tends to decrease, making it more challenging to form new relationships. This concept is used to advise younger individuals to invest in long-term relationships while they are still cognitively flexible.

💡Authentic connection

Authentic connection refers to genuine, deep, and meaningful relationships that are built on trust, communication, and mutual understanding. The video encourages viewers to seek such connections, suggesting that real communication and in-person interactions are essential for building lasting relationships. It contrasts this with the superficial interactions often fostered by online dating platforms.

Highlights

Humans are among the few mammals that form long-term cooperative partnerships.

Pair bonding in humans is facilitated by the release of hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin.

People who don't find a partner or love tend to have shorter lifespans on average.

Social media and dating apps often promote superficial and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

The business model of dating apps is designed to keep users engaged and spending money.

Dating apps use collaborative filtering, which can limit user choices and reinforce biases.

Men face a more challenging time finding matches on dating apps due to platform algorithms and user behavior.

Attractiveness plays a significant role in the number of likes and matches users receive on dating apps.

Dating apps can lead to a paradox of choice, preventing users from fully investing in relationships.

The pre-commitment stage in dating apps can be prolonged, affecting the development of long-term relationships.

Gen Z's dating inculturation is heavily influenced by digital platforms, shaping their approach to relationships.

Offline interactions and communities are crucial for forming meaningful and long-lasting relationships.

Long-term relationships require investment and effort from both parties, not just initial attraction.

Loneliness can have severe health implications and should not be ignored or numbed through distractions.

Authentic connections and real communication are essential for building meaningful relationships.

Offline meetups and communities can provide a platform for people to meet and form genuine connections.

The video editing cohort by the speaker has been successful in training and placing video editors in the job market.

Transcripts

Okay.

Imagine a world where 97% of living

species don't want

any lasting partnerships.

Now imagine being a part of the 3%

that does.

That's us humans.

You know,

we're one of the few mammals

that form long term

cooperative partnerships.

But why?

What is it that makes us so different?

So something called pair

bonding in our brains.

The basically figured out

that forming strong attachment.

Working as a team, sharing resources

and creating family units

boost our chances of survival.

So our brains are releasing

happy hormones

like oxytocin and vasopressin

to facilitate these bonds,

evolving our social intelligence

and cooperative skills.

I mean, we're we've literally hardwired

the quest for the soulmate into our DNA,

to the point

where people who don't find a partner

or don't find love

have shorter lifespans on average,

says this paper.

So learning

this whole dating business

dating algorithm

could actually be a

matter of life and death.

I know I'm extrapolating a

bit here, but nevertheless,

I feel like it's important

to understand

the ways of our current world

and why and how they're involving.

You see, the social media

today is telling you

all sorts of nonsense from situation

shapes, breadcrumbs, text

and ship tours dropping.

I mean,

how can we all be so stupid

to feel trapped in these dumb games?

Have you ever stopped

and asked yourself,

who creates all of this?

Who benefits from all of this?

Is it really you?

or the businesses making money off you?

Because by the way,

they are making shit turns.

You know, Indians by the end of 2024

will be spending around

$400 million on dating apps.

Great business opportunity

capitalizing on people's

loneliness and suffering, for sure.

But if you're an Aevy subscriber,

it is my duty to share

the tough truths about life

survival, relationships.

why they're so important.

How do you find one?

When and how should you start

thinking about all this?

At some point, you will have to.

So, I was talking to

A friend

recently who was sharing

how he created a new Tinder

profile a few weeks back,

and the number of matches

he got

was abysmally low,

as opposed to the number of people

he swiped right on.

It was like, bro,

I don't think I'm that ugly or repulsive.

Why are these girls not swiping right?

It's literally

taking a hit on my self-confidence.

And, you know,

that's when I was like, shit,

this must be the case

with so many people.

So many folks on these apps

must be feeling this way

and tying their self-worth

to these dating apps

without even understanding

the basic economics of dating apps

or how these algos actually work,

because it's totally unrelated

to your value, by the way.

I, for one,

honestly thought

that it was universal truth

that everybody knew that

dating apps only make money

if you stay on them,

so it's inherently

in their business model

to keep you swiping

and not finding the perfect match,

because then you leave the app.

Then how do they make money?

In fact,

you know, just in February, Match.com,

which owns all of these

dating companies, by the way,

was sued for this very issue.

The allegations were that the

"predatory” business model of dating

apps like Tinder, hinge,

defrocked those looking for love

and fearful of missing out.

It's an algorithm that rewards compulsive

use of its platforms

and makes them pay

hundreds and hundreds of dollars

a year for a subscription,

which is absolutely true.

They also said that these companies

basically gamified

the platforms

to transform their users

into literal gamblers,

locked in the search

for psychological rewards

that the business

makes elusive on purpose.

Again, this also absolute truth.

So I think the purpose of

most of these companies

is to make profits

and give returns to their investors,

and the algorithms have evolved

to do just that.

In fact,

there was a lot of conspiracy theories

about Tinder literally crippling

the standard free version of the app

and making it basically unusable

unless you pay for a premium account

or add ons like Super Likes and Boost.

There are also

people are coming up

with all sorts of absurd

strategies to get matches. Look at this.

So the

second issue and our

new learning about these apps

was very interesting to me.

A few years back,

there was this guy who wanted

to show how algorithms work.

So what he did

was he designed a game called

Monster Match.

Now, this game was meant to show

how algorithms basically

reinforce bias

by limiting what you can see

and size of the company

more than the users.

So these dating apps

do something called

collaborative filtering,

which basically generates recommendations

based on the majority opinion,

not just your personal preferences.

It's actually very similar

to the way Netflix

or even YouTube

recommends what you watch.

So let's say your user

and you swipe right on a zombie,

and then you swipe left on vampire.

On Monster Match

the new user,

who also swipes right on the zombie.

Want to see the vampire in the queue?

Only because the algo is now showing

you monsters

based on historical data of user.

So this is what's called

collaborative filtering.

It's useful for the app,

but think about the damn vampire.

What if user two

would have liked seeing the vampire?

What if user two and vampire

could have had a future together?

Now it's gone and user two. User three.

User for user five was profiles

a similar to user one

will probably never see the vampire.

This basically shows us

how dating app users

get boxed into narrow

assumptions, and certain

profiles are routinely excluded.

Now, not just.

This is another

very interesting experiment

which was conducted by an organization

on why men specifically trouble

finding matches.

So what they did

was they ran a simulation

with 1000 virtual profiles

to see how these apps

distort the real dating market.

First, imagine an ideal world

where men and women use

these apps equally.

Each ring

100 profiles a day and liking 1 in 4.

So this gave everybody a 25%

chance of getting a like, resulting

in 25 likes and six matches per day.

But real apps,

you know, on this balance,

there are more men than women on

apps like Bumble.

So what they did was

they assumed a ratio of 2 to 1

and added this to the simulation.

Now, in this scenario,

women receive twice as many likes

or fewer likes and became more desperate,

liking more and more profiles

to increase their chances.

Now, according to Bateman's principle

of evolutionary psychology,

men also tend to be less

picky when compared to women.

In picking a short term partner.

So due to this, and also to just match

more men like profiles nearly

three times as often as women.

According to a New York Times article.

So when they put all of this data

in the simulation,

women received

92 likes on average,

while men got just seven.

Now, one thing that we haven't considered

till now is attractiveness.

In reality,

some profiles are more attractive

than others,

and a small number of users

get the majority of these likes.

Data from an engineering change

showed that 50% of men's likes

go to just 25% of women,

while 50% of women like,

but only 15% of men.

Now, when they updated this data

in the simulation,

giving users

an attractiveness score

from 0 to 100, the results.

What's striking you?

Only top 10% of male

got all the likes and all the slides.

So the power law is insanely strong on

dating apps.

Now imagine this coupled

with collaborative filtering,

you realize that it is in no way

reflective of the all played

dating market,

and in no way reflective of your value,

self-esteem, or self-worth.

It's really just a game

for these businesses

to make money

and keep swiping,

and it shouldn't be thought

of as anything more than that

if it lands on your first date.

Great,

but don't go to these apps

with some crazy expectations.

In my opinion.

I feel like they've been more of a bane

than a boon to the society.

And I'm not refuting people

finding the partners that some have,

but those are the outliers, not the norm.

I'm just trying to evaluate

the overall effectiveness

of their existence.

Honestly,

if you look at dating apps in India,

I feel like they are taking

some other form altogether.

Every single day on Reddit or Twitter,

you see a post

about how people are using these dating

apps to extort money.

The whole dating app

mafia and people

have literally lost lacs

to these scams.

So an individual

today needs to be all the more careful

when getting on a Tinder or a Hinge.

Now, while

this is

obviously very scary to see,

but what's more worrying to me

is that

these apps are inherently changing

the very fabric of relationships.

Firstly, what they do

is they prolong the whole

pre-commitment stage.

It's literally

like you have to go

through tens of levels

to just make it to a relationship.

I'm not even talking about marriage,

you know,

if you want back,

we done a video on white stuff

for Gen Z

to adapt to the usual workplace

norms as opposed to millennials.

Really spoke about this concept

in sociological enculturation.

What that basically means

is that humans learn

how to behave in an environment

with the help of others.

We've been around longer.

In the case of Gen

Zs, the whole dating inculturation

happened on digital platforms.

Tinder, hinge,

social media because of the pandemic.

So that kind of became the norm for them.

But I feel like it's these

same dating apps

that have made relationship

super transactional today.

People now are increasingly

treating intimacy and emotion

connection as products

that can be consumed,

rather than bonds to be nurtured.

What these dating apps do

is they present people as these products

to be browsed compared,

and then added to cart.

And I feel like this

commodification of human beings

is encouraging a very shallow,

consumerist approach to relationships.

What is basically happening is

people are treating potential partners

as something, dispose of it,

always looking for an upgrade.

And the sheer number of potential matches

also creates a paradox of choice.

With so many options,

we become paralyzed,

always wondering

if there's somebody better,

just a few swipes away.

And this is what's preventing

people from fully investing

in any one connection.

You know,

people are literally forgetting

that the best established predictors

of how a romantic relationship

are developed

can only be known

after the relationship begins,

which means that people

are not even reaching out.

These apps,

honestly, are just making people

waste their time. That's all.

Now, I don't mean to

say this to scare you,

but I want you all to know that.

Post your turn 30.

A lot of you

might start running out of options.

So if in your 20s,

you keep playing these damn

games on dating apps,

you could lose out on finding somebody.

And it's not because you lack something.

It's because in India, as a culture,

most families put insane

pressure on kids to get married

before they turn 30,

and most people even give in to it.

So the pool of people

who you could form long

lasting relationships with,

you had when you're 26 or 27

keeps Reducing as you get older

post 24-25

Long term

relationships are something

that all of you need

to start thinking about.

And if you dig deeper,

you'll understand that

as people age,

as people get older,

people start becoming more rigid.

So if you look at our brains,

they reach a significant level

of maturation in the mid 20s.

But as individuals

progress into 30s

adults synaptic plasticity

or the ability of connections

to strengthen or weaken

in response to activity changes.

Now, what this shift can do

is it can result in the brain

becoming more specialized

and efficient in certain areas,

but potentially less flexible

in adapting to new experiences

and changes.

Basically,

the cognitive flexibility reduces,

and it could take you

a little more extra effort to adjust.

I'm not saying

that you will not find a partner

when you're older.

I'm just saying that it's much easier

to find one when you're younger.

And a lot of people

now might say that,

hey, 20s are for exploring

and figuring out what we want.

We want to focus on ourselves. Great.

Figure out your career.

Learn some skills,

but don't not invest

in long term relationships

once you're done so.

And when I say invest, I don't mean

go make dating app profiles.

I mean actually putting in the effort

to try and form

a long lasting relationship.

This is physically going

and meeting people,

communicating rather than just texting,

actually putting in time,

getting to know the other person.

And I love this segment.

Do share some news with all of you.

So around

One and a half years ago,

we started a video

editing cohort

because we had this thesis

that we are moving toward the world

where it's becoming

easier and easier to build products,

but harder to get users.

So distribution

is going to become the mode.

And, you know,

some meta thesis was right,

because if you look

at companies, founders,

everybody is creating content right now

and honestly making

compelling videos, understanding

the algorithm is now a legitimate long

term career.

We are

we also are

now in the middle of a 7th cohort,

and we have trained over

1800 plus video editors.

We're now

working with companies

like Blink it,

Zerodha,

Zoho, and folks like Ali Abdaal

Nikhil Kamath

Tanmay Bhat

you know,

80% of students

who applied for placements have got jobs

with average salaries of 4.5

lakh per annum.

And I don't know if I can legally say

this, okay.

But honestly, anybody

and everybody

who joins

the cohort is willing

to finish the cohort,

get their portfolios ready.

We have a job for you,

and we are working

very, very hard to create this recruiter

network of 500 companies

who are all hiring multiple video

editors from us, by the way,

you know, while we have so many people

complaining about

not getting jobs on the internet,

I keep telling them, come to our cohort,

we can help.

But then they say, oh,

it's video editing.

But honestly, that's

where the demand is right now.

And you need to be okay with a job

that's not software engineering.

And I'm not exaggerating.

We have more recruiters than students

sitting for placements

as of now

and getting packages

higher than engineering colleges.

You know what? Don't take my word for it.

Got to experience it firsthand.

We're doing a free masterclass

where you can learn

how to edit videos like we understand

content better.

Get to know our instructors,

know what the communities like,

and see some of the work

that the cohort students

have done before.

And more than anything,

knowing content,

knowing editing will help

all of you build leverage for yourself.

So come watch it.

Even if you don't want

to join the cohort,

because you might just end up

learning something new.

I'm putting the masterclass

link in description.

See you then.

You know,

a lot of people

have this absurd idea

that relationships or love

is something that you're supposed to

fall into or stumble upon,

because that's how the movie show it.

But reality is actually very,

very different.

Long term relationships are not just

this thing that happens to you.

It's actually a skill,

just like everything else in life.

And it's not just about falling

in love, right?

It's about staying in love.

Let me tell you something.

Looking at this whole

staying in relationship as a skill

does not take away

from the sanctity of relationships.

But you need to understand

that relationships

are not just about the initial change

and the butterflies

you're feeding your tummy.

It's a decision to stay with that person

after these butterflies are gone.

I feel like it's a luxury

to have somebody take care of you,

be invested in your growth

as much as you are in yours.

Now there's two of you,

rather than just one.

You are never alone in anything you do,

any decision you make,

you have another person

who can help you, guide you.

And there are literally

so many proven benefits

of a good relationship.

For example, mental health studies show

how people in loving

relationships report

lower stress and higher happiness.

Physical health

research indicates

that married individuals

often live longer, healthier lives.

Economic stability.

Two incomes and shared

resources can provide a financial buffer

and also social networks.

Couples often have broader

social connections,

which again can be crucial

for everything from finding jobs

to emotional support.

But look at us

here we are bread crumbing it seems.

And I mean, what does that even mean?

And why are we resorting to all this?

To understand that it's tough

because two people make a relationship.

So we'll be like,

hey, I could be doing my part,

but what about the other person?

And that is the main reason

why I say that this new culture

that promotes

poor communication

skills is harming everybody. It's toxic.

You know,

relationships help

you become better communicators,

not just with friends,

but at work as well.

Mature people are promoting,

not talking, ghosting.

It's stupid, right?

You know, people on Twitter,

Reddit promoting

all of this are probably young

and haven't faced any adversities

in life.

God forbid

any of you get any chronic illness,

it will be absolutely horrible

going through it all.

And loneliness in itself

has been proven

to be extremely bad

and dangerous for your health.

Having meaningful relationship

is a basic human need.

People avoid for far too long,

only to realize that

now they are too scared

to form any sort of connection

because of fear of rejection.

Not an actual phenomena.

Which would explain by researcher

where he says that when we feel isolated,

our brain becomes more sensitive

to social stimuli.

Is that how you become more sensitive

to bitter taste when starving?

Because those taste

are associated with poisons?

So what loneliness does is

it heightens your alertness

to social danger,

making you wary of connecting with people

because you feel lonely

when you're scared

of forming a connection in tone,

you don't even try.

Which I feel like just makes the issue

all the more worse.

And, you know,

a lot of people just numb it

or deny this feeling of loneliness

because it's just easier to sit in school

on YouTube, on Instagram, right,

than go out

and actually found your connections.

It's easy to be fighting in comments

on social media

getting dopamine hits from bad.

But the easy way out

is not always the best way out.

And I worry

because all the problems

that you see in the West

eventually show up in India,

because we take a lot of inspiration

from the West,

and they are right now

going through a loneliness

epidemic extremely

high divorce rates, no relationships.

Everybody's just about me, myself and I

and then sufferers once they get older.

And I really, genuinely

don't want the youth or Indian Gen-Z

to walk through this in their lives.

The question becomes, what do we do?

Is it a solution?

How do we find meaningful relationships?

The remedy, as I've said multiple times,

it's back to basics,

back to offline dual world connections.

And, you know,

I was recently seeing

how a lot of cities

are coming up with new,

innovative ways to make people meet.

Look at all these mixers,

which don't just happen

two one cities anymore

with tier two cities as well.

Of course,

you have to make sure

that all of these mixers are safe,

especially for women.

But it's a great way to meet people

because, you know, all of the people

who are showing up for these mixers

also have the same intent as you.

They're also looking to find somebody

and very meaningful relationships

and not just this.

There are so many other ways.

There are so many offline

communities that are book clubs, sports,

so many options out there,

but you need to put in the effort.

And honestly,

if you're shy and worried that

what you do

once you're a part of these communities

and want to show up at these events

just have 2 to 3 phases ready

and questions ready,

and approach

people with this smile.

And I feel like the more often

you do this,

the better communicator you also become,

which is again

a very, very useful skill in life.

So all you got to do

is take that

first step,

join some offline community

and go meet people face to face.

You know every batch of our video

editing cohort.

Also, no matter what,

we make sure that even

if 10 or 16 students want to show up,

we always do offline meetups

because in-person interactions

are so, so important.

We will make friends,

we will find business partners,

and I don't know,

hopefully sometime in the future

maybe somebody might find

a life partner as well.

But why I'm

so hellbent on offline

is because all the magic

in relationships happens in person,

and the least you can do for yourself

is at least try.

I believe you can only get lucky

if you make the attempt to get lucky.

So go try to find the right direction

that's offline, not online.

And once you do find somebody,

I urge you to seek authentic connection.

Real communication.

Don't hide behind your screens.

Spend time face to face and build

something meaningful and long lasting.

Honestly, my partner was one of the best

decisions of my life

and I genuinely,

wholeheartedly hope

that you all are able

to find somebody to.

Anyway, that's all for today's video.

I hope you guys learned something

new, and also unlearn

some of the stuff that social media

has been telling you.

My name of the Achina Mayya

Thank you for watching

and please

don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

See you in the next video!