AuDHD Signs in Women that are Often Missed

Summary

In this video, the creator highlights the often misunderstood signs of AuDHD (Autism and ADHD) in women, focusing on traits that are often brushed off as personality quirks. These include perfectionism, emotional dysregulation, struggles with socializing, burnout, guilt, mental overload, and inconsistent social behavior. The video emphasizes how these behaviors, when seen in isolation, are misinterpreted as anxiety, laziness, or 'too much.' By recognizing these signs, women can reframe their experiences, understanding that these challenges stem from AuDHD, not flaws. The message encourages viewers to embrace their experiences and share the knowledge with others for better understanding and support.

Takeaways

• 😀 Perfectionism in AuDHD often stems from a need for structure and consistency, not from pride or ambition. It can be a coping mechanism for ADHD and autism-related struggles.
• 😀 Emotional reactions in women with AuDHD are often misunderstood and labeled as 'too sensitive' or 'dramatic', when in fact they stem from sensory overload and emotional dysregulation.
• 😀 Social interactions can feel overwhelming for those with AuDHD, as they constantly analyze, rehearse, and adjust to fit in, leading to exhaustion rather than authentic connection.
• 😀 Burnout in women with AuDHD results from the strain of masking and constantly over-functioning to meet social expectations, leading to mental exhaustion and shutdowns.
• 😀 Chronic guilt is a common experience in AuDHD, stemming from executive dysfunction, time blindness, and a craving for structure that can't always be sustained.
• 😀 Mental overload and shutdown in AuDHD can make it difficult to take action, even when you know the steps needed. This leads to feelings of being stuck or in 'mental quicksand'.
• 😀 Inconsistent social behavior, such as oversharing one day and ghosting the next, is a hallmark of AuDHD, making it challenging to maintain relationships and social connections.
• 😀 Women with AuDHD often don't fit the typical stereotypes of autism or ADHD, leading to misunderstandings and mislabeling of their struggles as personality traits like shyness or laziness.
• 😀 Sensory overload in AuDHD can often be mistaken for anxiety, and executive dysfunction can be misinterpreted as a lack of motivation or laziness.
• 😀 Recognizing AuDHD in oneself can be empowering, as it allows individuals to reframe their experiences, stop blaming themselves, and seek the appropriate support for their unique needs.

Q & A

What is AuDHD, and why is it often overlooked in women?

AuDHD is a combination of Autism and ADHD. It is often overlooked in women because its symptoms can be misunderstood as personality traits like being overly sensitive, anxious, or perfectionistic, rather than signs of a neurodevelopmental condition.

Why is perfectionism in AuDHD not the same as typical perfectionism?

In AuDHD, perfectionism stems from a need for structure and consistency, often due to autism, or as a way to compensate for ADHD-related focus issues. It’s driven by anxiety and fear of judgment, not pride or ambition.

How are emotional reactions in women with AuDHD misunderstood?

Emotional reactions in women with AuDHD are often seen as dramatic or having mood swings. However, they are frequently caused by sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, and being misread by others, which leads to impulsive and sometimes overwhelming reactions.

What is the social experience of someone with AuDHD like?

People with AuDHD may appear outgoing or confident, but they often struggle internally with social rules, emotional regulation, and maintaining conversations. They may feel disconnected or like they are 'faking it,' leading to exhaustion and burnout.

What is the difference between regular burnout and burnout in women with AuDHD?

Burnout in women with AuDHD is caused by the exhaustion from constantly masking and over-functioning to meet others' expectations, leading to mental gridlock and withdrawal. This is different from regular burnout because it stems from the cumulative toll of masking and overstimulation over time.

Why do women with AuDHD often experience chronic guilt?

Chronic guilt in women with AuDHD arises from the struggle to meet expectations, time blindness, forgetfulness, and executive dysfunction. They may feel like a burden to others and blame themselves for not being able to meet their own or others' expectations, which leads to feelings of inadequacy.

What is the experience of mental overload and shutdown like for someone with AuDHD?

Mental overload and shutdown occur when someone with AuDHD faces too many decisions or tasks. The body refuses to act despite knowing the necessary steps, resulting in a feeling of being stuck, frozen, or spiraling, which looks like avoidance from the outside but is actually an inability to move forward.

How does inconsistent social behavior manifest in women with AuDHD?

Inconsistent social behavior can include oversharing one day and then going silent for a week, canceling plans, or ghosting loved ones. These behaviors are often misinterpreted as disinterest or selfishness, but they are a result of the struggle to navigate social interactions with a brain that processes relationships differently.

Why is it difficult for others to recognize AuDHD in women?

AuDHD in women is often overlooked because they don’t fit the typical stereotype of autism or ADHD. They may not exhibit the more obvious signs, and their behaviors are often misinterpreted as shyness, anxiety, or quirkiness. This leads to a lack of understanding and support.

How can understanding AuDHD help someone reframe their past experiences?

By understanding that behaviors like emotional dysregulation, social challenges, and perfectionism are signs of AuDHD, a person can stop blaming themselves for things that were never their fault. This reframing helps them recognize that their struggles were due to a neurodevelopmental condition, not personal flaws.