the truth about making friends in college | a guide to why you're lonely

Summary

In this video, Makayla shares her personal journey with making friends in college, discussing the challenges she faced, particularly as an introvert and during the peak of COVID-19. She explores various obstacles, such as academic pressure, homesickness, and cultural differences, that make forming connections difficult. Despite her struggles, Makayla offers valuable tips for overcoming these challenges, including attending events regularly, utilizing social media to connect, and forming friendships through classes or work. She emphasizes that making and maintaining friendships in college requires effort, but it’s okay to feel anxious or overwhelmed along the way.

Takeaways

• 😀 64% of college students reported feeling lonely in 2017, highlighting the difficulty of making friends in college.
• 😀 College can be particularly challenging for introverts, as socializing can drain their energy despite wanting to make connections.
• 😀 Academic pressures and schoolwork can make it difficult to find time and energy to socialize.
• 😀 Homesickness and missing family can contribute to a lack of motivation to meet new people and make friends.
• 😀 College party culture, especially involving drinking, can be isolating for those who don't drink or are not into partying.
• 😀 Financial constraints can limit social opportunities, as many events require spending money.
• 😀 Group formation pressure at the start of the school year can make it harder for some students to find friends if they don't form groups right away.
• 😀 International students often face additional challenges in making friends due to language barriers and cultural differences.
• 😀 Friendships in college may not last beyond a semester or course due to differing schedules and evolving social circles.
• 😀 Making friends in college can be easier by attending events regularly, joining clubs, and connecting through social media like Instagram.
• 😀 Maintaining friendships in college requires effort and scheduling, as people are often too busy to casually meet up without planning.

Q & A

What was the 2017 survey about, and what did it reveal?

The 2017 survey was conducted among 48,000 college students, and it revealed that 64% of them reported feeling lonely in the past year. This highlights a significant issue with loneliness among college students.

Why does the speaker find it difficult to make friends in college?

The speaker finds it difficult to make friends due to being an introvert, which makes social interactions draining. Additionally, factors like high academic demands, homesickness, and cultural differences contribute to the challenge.

How did the speaker’s experiences during the pandemic affect their ability to make friends?

During the peak of COVID-19 in 2020, it was nearly impossible to meet new people or socialize, which made the speaker's challenge of making friends even more difficult.

What advice did the speaker receive as a child to help with making friends?

The speaker’s mom and cousin coached her to gradually increase social interactions, starting with simple gestures like saying hello to three people in the hallways and gradually increasing the number.

What are some reasons that can make making friends in college hard?

Some reasons include being an introvert, heavy academic workloads, homesickness, a drinking culture in some college environments, financial limitations, and the pressure of quickly forming friend groups.

How does being an international student affect the process of making friends in college?

International students may struggle with making friends due to language barriers, cultural differences, and adjusting to a completely new environment.

What is the speaker's opinion on roommates and forming friendships with them?

The speaker believes that it's important not to force friendships with roommates, as compatibility is key. She shares that she has had positive experiences with roommates who respect each other's space while maintaining a friendly relationship.

How do friendships in college typically evolve according to the speaker?

Friendships in college often depend on shared experiences like classes. However, they may not last beyond a semester if schedules diverge. It’s common for people to move on from their initial friend groups.

What is the importance of attending events regularly when trying to make friends?

Attending events regularly helps you meet the same people over time, making it easier to develop connections. The speaker encourages going back to events multiple times to gauge if they’re a good fit.

How does social media play a role in making friends in college?

Social media, particularly platforms like Instagram, is a helpful tool for connecting with people after meeting them in class or at events. It allows for easy communication and the opportunity to meet up outside of class.

What tips does the speaker give for maintaining friendships in college?

The speaker suggests scheduling regular meetups with friends, even if it’s just once a week. She also recommends FaceTiming high school friends for emotional support and joining study groups for socializing while being productive.