The most DEVASTATINGLY EFFECTIVE Response to Insults and Criticism at work

Summary

This video script offers a three-step strategy to deflect inappropriate questions and criticism, akin to how Donald Trump handles such situations. The first step is to completely ignore the question, avoiding self-defense as it reveals vulnerability. The second step involves using body language and verbal cues to redirect attention back to the questioner, subtly judging them. The final step is personal, using the Enneagram system to identify and target the person's deepest fears with precise words, creating a lasting impact. The script suggests these tactics for dire situations, like surviving a toxic workplace, and promotes an accompanying course for further learning.

Takeaways

• 😀 To deflect questions or criticism, the speaker suggests a three-step process similar to one used by Donald Trump.
• 🔍 The first step is to completely ignore the question or criticism, as defending oneself can signal vulnerability.
• 🤔 The second step involves turning the tables on the questioner through body language and verbal cues, redirecting attention back to them.
• 👀 Body language should be used to draw attention away from oneself and towards the person asking the question or making the criticism.
• 🗣️ Verbally, the speaker recommends responding with surprise or judgment, implying that the question or comment is out of character for the person.
• 💬 The third step is to get personal by using words that are precisely chosen to reflect the individual's fears or insecurities.
• 🔑 The Enneagram is introduced as a tool to understand people's core fears, which can be used to craft a personalized response.
• 👗 The speaker advises observing people's appearances, behaviors, and communication styles to identify their Enneagram type.
• 👊 When responding, use language that implies knowledge of the person's deepest fears, making the response more impactful.
• ⚠️ These tactics are presented as survival strategies for toxic work environments and should be used sparingly and only when necessary.
• 📚 For further learning, the speaker offers a guide and an upcoming course on standing up for oneself in a toxic workplace.

Q & A

What is the primary advice given for deflecting inappropriate questions or criticism?

The primary advice is to completely ignore the question or criticism, as defending oneself is perceived as a sign of vulnerability.

Why is it suggested not to defend oneself against criticism?

Defending oneself is seen as an admission of vulnerability, and it's advised to avoid it to maintain a position of strength.

What is the second step in the three-step process for deflecting criticism?

The second step involves turning the tables on the person by using body language and words to redirect attention back to them.

How does body language play a role in deflecting criticism?

Body language is used to marshal attention away from oneself and towards the person asking the question, thereby controlling the narrative.

What is the recommended verbal approach when turning the tables on someone?

The recommended verbal approach is to judge the person asking the question, expressing surprise at their behavior, and implying that their actions are reflective of a deeper issue.

How does the Enneagram system factor into the third step of the process?

The Enneagram system is used to identify people's core fears and insecurities, which can be leveraged to craft personalized and impactful responses.

What is the significance of using personalized insults based on the Enneagram types?

Using personalized insults allows for a more effective and targeted response, as it plays on the individual's deepest fears and insecurities.

Why might someone choose to use these tactics in a workplace setting?

These tactics are recommended for dire situations, such as when one is trapped in a toxic work environment and needs to survive.

What resources are offered for those interested in learning more about these tactics?

An Enneagram guide and an upcoming course on surviving toxic workplaces are mentioned, with links provided in the description.

What is the speaker's stance on the morality of using these tactics?

The speaker acknowledges the potentially negative moral implications of these tactics but rationalizes their use in extreme situations, suggesting a trade-off for survival.

How does the speaker suggest one should approach using these tactics?

The speaker advises using these tactics sparingly and only in situations where it's necessary for survival in a toxic environment.

Outlines

00:00

😐 Deflecting Questions and Criticism

This paragraph discusses a three-step process to deflect inappropriate questions and criticism, drawing from Donald Trump's approach. The first step is to completely ignore the question, as defending oneself implies vulnerability. The second step involves turning the tables through body language and verbal cues, directing attention back to the questioner and using judgmental language. The third step is personalizing the response by identifying the person's deepest fears and insecurities, using the Enneagram system to tailor the response for maximum impact. The speaker also provides a link to an Enneagram guide for further understanding.

05:02

🔍 Identifying and Using Personal Fears

The second paragraph delves into the power of knowing one's own and others' Enneagram types to predict and manipulate reactions. It suggests using this knowledge to craft personalized insults that target individual fears, making them more effective. Examples are provided to illustrate how to respond to rude questions by linking them to the person's perceived image or self-concept. The speaker emphasizes these tactics are for dire situations, such as surviving a toxic work environment, and promotes a course for further learning. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for viewers to subscribe and support the channel.

Keywords

💡Deflect

Deflect in the context of the video refers to the act of avoiding or turning aside a question or criticism without directly addressing it. It's a technique used to maintain control over a conversation, especially when faced with uncomfortable or inappropriate inquiries. The video suggests ignoring the question and not defending oneself, which aligns with the idea of deflecting by not engaging with the content of the criticism.

💡Teflon

Teflon is used metaphorically in the video to describe the ability to have questions and criticisms slide off without affecting the person. It implies a quality that allows someone to remain unaffected or unreactive to negative inputs, similar to how Teflon coating prevents substances from sticking to it. The video aims to teach viewers how to achieve this quality in handling criticism.

💡Ignore

Ignoring, as mentioned in the video, is the first step in the three-step process of handling criticism. It involves not acknowledging the question or criticism directed at you. This tactic is based on the idea that responding to criticism can sometimes legitimize it or show vulnerability. The video emphasizes ignoring as a way to maintain control and not give power to the critic.

💡Turn the tables

Turning the tables is a strategy discussed in the video where the person being criticized or questioned shifts the focus back onto the questioner or critic. This is done by using body language or verbal cues to redirect attention and potentially put the questioner on the defensive. The video illustrates this with examples of how to use language to surprise the questioner and make them reconsider their approach.

💡Body language

Body language is highlighted in the video as a non-verbal tool to turn the tables on a critic. It involves using physical gestures and expressions to direct attention away from oneself and towards the person posing the question or criticism. The video advises against certain body language that might be perceived as weak, suggesting instead strategies to command attention and respect.

💡Unidirectional signals

Unidirectional signals are mentioned as a method of marshaling attention using body language. These are deliberate, one-way gestures that indicate to others where to focus or look. In the video, this concept is used to describe how to direct the audience's attention away from oneself and towards the person asking the question, thereby controlling the conversational dynamic.

💡Marshaling attention

Marshaling attention refers to the act of organizing or directing the focus of an audience. In the video, this is discussed as a tactic to control the conversation by shifting the spotlight from the person being questioned to the questioner. It's about managing the situation by drawing attention to the critic's behavior rather than the content of their criticism.

💡Enneagram

The Enneagram is introduced in the video as a personality typing system that can be used to understand and predict people's behaviors and fears. It is suggested as a tool to personalize responses to criticism by understanding the core fears associated with each type. The video implies using this knowledge to craft responses that resonate on a personal level with the critic.

💡Personal

Getting personal in the video means crafting responses that are tailored to the individual critic, rather than using generic replies. It involves using specific knowledge about the person, such as their personality type or past behavior, to create a response that is more impactful. The video suggests that personalizing the response can be more effective in deflecting criticism.

💡Survival tactics

Survival tactics in this context refer to the strategies and techniques one might use to navigate and endure challenging situations, such as a toxic work environment. The video presents the discussed methods as tools for survival in such scenarios, emphasizing their use as a last resort when one is unable to remove themselves from the situation.

💡Toxic workplace

A toxic workplace is mentioned as a setting where these deflecting techniques might be necessary. It implies an environment where criticism and inappropriate questions are common and potentially harmful. The video suggests that these tactics can be used for self-preservation in such an atmosphere, where traditional methods of addressing criticism may not be effective.

Highlights

A three-step process is introduced to deflect inappropriate questions and criticism, inspired by Donald Trump's technique.

Step one is to completely ignore the question to avoid appearing vulnerable.

Defending oneself is differentiated from explaining or clarifying.

Ignoring the question is a strategy used by some individuals with manipulative mindsets.

Step two involves turning the tables through body language and words.

The presenter advises against mimicking Trump's body language due to its perceived effeminacy.

Instead, use body language to direct attention back to the questioner.

Verbally, express surprise at the questioner's choice of words to judge them.

Step three is to personalize the response by identifying the questioner's fears.

The Enneagram is referenced as a tool for understanding people's core fears.

An Enneagram guide is offered for those interested in advanced self-defense tactics.

The presenter shares a personal anecdote about learning from nuns how to strike a chord with insults.

Examples are given on how to craft personalized insults based on the Enneagram types.

The importance of observing and interpreting signs to identify people's Enneagram types is emphasized.

The presenter warns that these tactics should only be used in dire situations where survival is at stake.

A course on surviving toxic environments is mentioned for further learning.

The presenter humorously acknowledges the potential moral implications of their advice.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to subscribe and support the channel.

Transcripts

How to deflect questions and criticism like Teflon.

Don, the next time that you're asked an inappropriate question that you don't

want to answer, or the next time maybe you're criticized and your goal is to turn

the tables on the person that asked you that question or that said that thing,

here's how to do it using this three-step process that Donald Trump also uses.

Number one, completely ignore the question 100%.

We never want to defend ourselves at.

Remember that we only defend against what we perceive to be vulnerable.

That's it.

And people who have sick minds, you know that some of the psychopaths

that we work with, they get that.

And so when people start to defend themselves, which by the way is different

from maybe I might explain and process, maybe I might clarify things that's

very different from defending myself.

And so once I've done that, once, I've completely ignored what you just said.

Now these get better and better as we go.

So make sure to stick with me till the end because you might

pass out at what you will.

In step number three, number two, I'm gonna turn the tables on you, and

I'm gonna do that two different ways.

I'm gonna do it with my body language, and I'm going to do it with my words.

Let's start off with body language.

Okay.

The body language that Donald Trump uses, I do not recommend that you use

because I find it frankly effeminate, and that's okay if that's your goal,

but he's drawing attention to his little teeny tiny fingers and it just creeps

me out and I find it to be distracting.

So I would not do that.

Now that one was worth the super things.

Instead, what I would do is to.

Martial attention to the other person because that's what you wanna do.

You want to say to anyone who may be listening, because generally

people are trying to embarrass us or criticize us or play a gotcha

when other people are around.

So to prevent that from happening, I'm gonna take the attention

that you just threw at me and I'm gonna throw it back to you.

And the way that I'm going to do that is by using unidirectional

signals and marshaling.

If I'm doing that, you know exactly what I'm doing.

I'm saying, look over there, go there.

I'm directing attention.

I'm marshaling the attention to that direction, or as some

people do to this direction.

Alright, eyes back here.

Eyes back here.

What I'm gonna be doing in this instance is marshaling the attention to.

So for example, since I'm turning the tables back onto you, the verbal part

of that is going to be me judging you.

But people who do that, you know, John, I'm surprised that you

would ask that type of question.

The next time you think about asking a rude question like that, you know

Mary, the next time you consider asking a question like that one.

And then number three, here's where it gets personal.

Now what I'm doing for step number three is I'm taking it a step further from what

Donald Trump would do because he generally used the same insults for everybody.

This will be more effective than that was for him because we're going to be using

words that are more precisely chosen.

Alright, I'm gonna be referencing the Enneagram in this lesson.

If you have not yet familiarized yourself with the Enneagram, I

have a great Enneagram guide.

It's the Enneagram at a g.

That is already in the description, so you can download that at any time

because here's how you want to use that if you're not familiar with that, or

for advanced tactics on how to stand up for yourself in a toxic workplace.

I also have a course coming out.

So if you're interested in learning more about these types of tactics,

make sure to hit that link in the description because not everybody knows

how to get personal and strike a chord with somebody when they insult them.

I learned this one from the nuns.

Your welcome sister eu.

And here's what they told me.

Basically, I'm gonna summarize, okay, sister Eugenia.

So forgive me, what is your compulsion?

When you sing, what is it that's causing you to sing?

What is it?

We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

What makes you sick?

And ? I might be embellishing a little bit, but that's how I understand it.

Once you've got somebody's number, you know what their biggest fear is.

Now, if I really wanted to be a nasty person, that's what I would use.

If I were going to insult you, you wanna find unique words to

describe each one of their fears and how it might apply to them.

And it would sound like this, don't worry if you're not familiar with it.

I put a Enneagram quick reference guide in the description below so

you can download that for free.

And I put that there for all of us who have not yet really maximized our ability

to strike a chord when we insult people.

So if that's you and you wanna do it a little bit, Might as well click on that.

I'm going to hell already.

So in the ennea grammatic glance that I gave you, this has summarized

and quite effectively if I do say so myself, the nine different types

and how you can think of them.

For example, we have one core statement.

I am, if I am what

Perfect.

Needed, successful.

Special learning.

Loyal, happy, powerful.

Once you get good at identifying the different types, what you can do is by

simply looking at somebody as they come into work, what type of clothes they're

wearing, what type of car did they drive in, what does their environment

look like, and what do the things around them communicate about them?

How do they speak?

What's their tone?

What's their melody?

Do they speak quickly, slowly?

Do they use a lot of words or do they use few words?

What are the signals and signs that all of us are constantly?

That will reveal to other people what our number is.

Once you know that you have got power, when you can articulate to somebody

what their biggest fear is, and that it might be just coming round the

bend, when you identify the people in your life and what number they are.

You wanna find unique words to describe each one of their fears

and how it might apply to them.

So here are a couple of goodies that I chose.

You know, Mary, the next time you consider asking a question like that

one, you might wanna consider how it blemishes your, what I would otherwise

consider a pretty perfect image.

Blemishes.

You know, Mary Lou, the next time you think about effing a question, like

the one you just asked, you might want to think about instead, how,

right now you're considered to be a pretty necessary part of this team,

but people who do that tend to find themselves irrelevant really quickly.

You know, John, I'm surprised that you would ask that type of question

because normally the only people who ask that are those who consider

themselves to be disadvantage.

Do you consider yourself to be disadvantaged?

John Disadvantaged.

You know, Katie, I'm telling you this because I think you'd want to know that

the next time you think about asking a rude question like that, you may

wanna instead consider how the type of third rate behavior reflects on you.

All right?

I'm telling you that because I care.

Let's move along.

By the way, when I do.

I'm blocking you.

I'm blocking this energy, I'm blocking your words.

I'm blocking everything about you.

Now, if you're a number four, and I did that to you and I told you that,

hey, I think you're special, but that behavior's third rate, so you might

wanna reconsider and then blocked you.

You are gonna be thinking about that when you go to bed.

You're gonna be thinking about that when you get up.

You're gonna be thinking about that one.

And you're gonna think twice about choosing me as your victim.

Why?

Because I know where to strike where it counts.

I know how to read the signs and interpret them to find out what are you afraid

of, and then put that in your face and let you know it's coming around the bin.

Sweetheart, . There you go.

Now you know why I'm going to hell, because those who did not

know that yet, now you know.

Now again, I have to stress, these are tactics that you use only in dire

situations where you're trapped in a work environment maybe that you can't

get out of and you need to survive.

These are survival tactics, and if you need to know more of them,

I'm having a special emergency.

How to survive if you're trapped in a toxic environment.

Course the link is in the description.

We're doing pre-registration until the 23rd of Friday.

So that'll really help you if you're in that type of situation.

And I don't feel bad about spreading this or feel guilty at all because

I figure I'm already going to hell.

Why feel bad as well?

I'm like, I'm already gonna be paying the price.

Now for more tactics like this, hit the playlist after you have

subscribed to this channel.

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