"They Are Envious" - Robert Greene Explains "Frenemies" And The Phenomenon Of Envy

AV Mind
19 Mar 202408:54

Summary

TLDRنص النص المقدم يناقش أهمية التواجد في مجموعة مناسبة من الأشخاص لتحقيق النجاح في الحياة، وتأثير المشاعر السلبية التي يمكن أن ينقلها الأصدقاء الغير المرغوب فيها. يناقش أيضاً ظاهرة الغيرة وكيف يمكن أن تؤدي إلى تحول الأصدقاء إلى "صديقان داعمين"، وتشير إلى أن الغيرة يمكن أن تأتي من التغيير الذي يمكن أن يحدث به الأفراد. ينصح بمعرفة الشخصيات التي تحاول الدخول في حياتك من الغيرة وأن تكون حذرًا في التعامل معهم.

Takeaways

  • 🤝 الأهمية الكبير للناس الصحيحة في نجاحنا الشخصي والمحترف، يجب أن نكون م定向ين في اختيار الأصدقاء والأعضاء في الفريق.
  • 😷 يجب تجنب الأشخاص الذين ينقلون السلبية، لأنهم يمكن أن يؤثرون سلباً على حياتنا ويصيبنا بأمراضهم العاطفية.
  • 📚 في كتاب '48 قواعد القوة'، يُناقش مفهوم الإصابة ويتم التركيز على التأثير السلبي الذي يمكن أن يسببه الأشخاص السلبيين.
  • 🧐 يجب أن نكون حذرين من الأشخاص الذين يحاولون أن يدخلوا حياتنا بشكل سريع، حيث يمكن أن يكون هذا علامة على حساسية أو حساد.
  • 🤔 يجب أن نفهم أن الغيرة هي عادة بشرية، لكن يجب أن نتعامل معها بشكل إيجابي و نتجنب أن نكون فرنيديمز.
  • 👥 يمكن أن يشعر الأشخاص بالغيرة من الأصدقاء القدامى عندما ينجحون، مما يمكن أن يؤدي إلى تغيير في العلاقات.
  • 💔 الغيرة يمكن أن تؤدي إلى التصرفات السلبية من قبل الأصدقاء، مثل التعليق السلبي أو الاستغلال.
  • 🌟 يجب أن نحاول أن نكون متفائلين و نشعر بالسعادة لنجاح الآخرين، بدلاً من أن نشعر بالغيرة.
  • 🚫 يجب تجنب الأشخاص الذين يشعرون بالضعف ال内向، لأن ذلك يمكن أن يؤثر سلباً على الثقة الذاتية.
  • 💡 يجب أن نكون على دراية بطبيعة البشر و العواطف السلبية التي يمكن أن تظهر في العلاقات، مثل الغيرة والحسادة.
  • 🔄 التغيير في الوضعية الشخصية قد يؤدي إلى تغير في العلاقات، وينبغي أن نكون على استعداد لمعالجة هذه التغييرات بشكل إيجابي.

Q & A

  • ما أهمية الشخص الذي يصاحبك في نجاح حياتك؟

    -الشخص الذي يصاحبك يلعب دورًا مهمًا في نجاح حياتك، سواء كان هذا الشخص من زملائك أو أعضاء فريقك. يجب أن تكون مبتكرة في اختيار من يصاحبك.

  • لماذا يسمى الناس 'ملوثين'؟

    -يسمى الناس 'ملوثين' لأن المشاعر والتصرفات يمكن أن تتعطف من شخص إلى آخر، مما يمكن أن يؤثر على الشخص الذي يصاحبهم إيجابيًا أو سلبيًا.

  • ما هي القصة التي ذكرها في '48 قانون للقوة' حول الإصابة؟

    -في '48 قانون للقوة'، تحدثت عن تجربة مشتركة حيث يصبح شخص مثيرة للاهتمام في البداية، ثم يصبح صديقًا، ويظهر أنهم مجانين قليلاً، وينقلون إليك طاقتهم السلبية.

  • كيف يمكننا التعرف على أن شخص ما يلعب دورًا سلبي في حياتنا؟

    -يمكننا التعرف على أن شخص ما يلعب دورًا سلبي في حياتنا من خلال ملاحظة تصرفاتهم السلبية، مثل التحدث دائمًا عن الآخرين بشكل سلبي أو اللعب بالضحية.

  • لماذا يجب أن نتجنب الأشخاص الذين يشعرون بالغيرة؟

    -يجب أن نتجنب الأشخاص الذين يشعرون بالغيرة لأنهم يمكن أن يضرنا بطرقهم السلبية ويحاولون إزعاجنا أو تخريب أحلامنا.

  • ما هي الغيرة وكيف يمكن أن تؤثر على العلاقات؟

    -الغيرة هو شعور يشعر به الشخص عندما يقارن نفسه بغيره ويشعر بالنقص، ويؤدي هذا الشعور في بعض الأحيان إلى إجراءات سلبية تضر الآخرين.

  • ما هي الفرق بين الغيرة الفعالة والغيرة السلبية؟

    -الغيرة الفعالة هي عندما يتصرف الشخص على الغيرة بطريقة تضر الآخرين، مثل التدبير أو التدخين. الغيرة السلبية هي عندما يشعر الشخص بالغيرة لكنه لا يتصرف عليها.

  • كيف يمكننا التعرف على فريميندز (صديقين معينين)؟

    -يمكننا التعرف على فريميندز من خلال ملاحظة تصرفاتهم التي تجعلنا نشعر بالإحباط أو الإهانة، أو عندما يظهرون بشكل سريع جدًا في حياتنا.

  • ماذا تعني الكلمات 'شا فريد' و 'مفتا' في سياق العلاقات؟

    -'شا فريد' تعني الشعور بالفرح من مصيبة الآخرين، بينما 'مفتا' تعني الشعور بالفرح من النجاح الآخرين. يجب أن نسعى لتنمية مفتا لتكون العلاقات أكثر إيجابية.

  • ماذا يحدث عندما يتغير الوضع في الحياة ويصبح صديقنا فريميند؟

    -عندما يتغير الوضع في الحياة، قد يشعر بعض الأصدقاء بالغيرة ويصبحوا فريميندز. يجب علينا التعرف على هذه المشاعر ومعالجةها بشكل إيجابي.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 The Impact of Surrounding Yourself with the Right People

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being intentional about the company we keep, both personally and professionally. They discuss how people can be 'contagious' and influence our success. Drawing from 'The 48 Laws of Power,' they illustrate the concept of 'infection' where engaging with a negative individual can lead to their drama and negativity affecting us. The speaker advises recognizing and avoiding 'drama queens' or 'kings' who may bring their problems into our lives. They distinguish between those who are genuinely unfortunate and those who attract misfortune due to their insecurities, suggesting that the latter can be detrimental to our well-being. The paragraph concludes with the advice to seek out confident, action-oriented individuals who can inspire us with their positive energy.

05:01

😔 Understanding and Identifying Frenemies and Envy

This paragraph delves into the phenomenon of 'Frenemies,' individuals who may befriend you out of envy and then act in ways that are hurtful or sabotage your success. The speaker explains that envy is a deep-rooted human emotion with ancient origins, evident even in animal behavior. They discuss how envy can manifest in friendships, with friends who may feel a sense of entitlement to your success and act out in negative ways. The speaker identifies signs of such behavior, such as friends rushing to establish a close relationship, which may indicate an underlying envy. They also touch on the concept of 'Schadenfreude' and its opposite, 'Mitfreude,' urging the cultivation of joy for others' successes as a higher quality in life. The paragraph concludes with personal insights on how the speaker has experienced envy from long-time acquaintances and the importance of confronting and overcoming such negative emotions.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡contagious

المصطلح 'contagious' يشير إلى القدرة على التأثير السلبي أو الإيجابية على الآخرين بطريقة تشبه انتشار العدوى. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف أن المشاعر والتصرفات يمكن أن تتعمق من شخص إلى آخر، مما يُعتبر جزءًا أساسيًا من النجاح في الحياة الشخصية والعملية.

💡48 Laws of Power

48 Laws of Power هو كتاب يُعرف بأهميةه في تحليل العلاقات البشرية والسياسات القوة. في النص، يُستخدم كمصدر للتفكير حول التأثير السلبي الذي يمكن لبعض الأشخاص أن يحدثه على الآخرين.

💡infection

المصطلح 'infection' يُستخدم في النص لوصف التأثير السلبي الذي يسببه الشخصون السلبيين أو الدرامايون على الآخرين. يُستخدم كمثابة مقارنة لتأثير الأمراض، مما يُظهر الخطر الذي يمكن أن يشكله الأصدقاء السلبيين في حياتنا.

💡drama queen/drama king

المصطلح 'drama queen' أو 'drama king' يُستخدم للوصف الشخص الذي يعيش في عالم الدراما ويحاول أن يؤثر على الآخرين بطريقة تؤدي إلى تشويق المشاعر. في النص، يُستخدم لتوضيح كيف يمكن لشخص كهذه أن يؤثر بطريقة سلبية على الأصدقاء.

💡emotional attachment

الارتباط العاطفي هو الشعور الذي يمكن أن ينشأ بين الأشخاص عندما يصبحون أصدقاء. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف أن ال建立起情谊 قد يؤدي إلى صعوبة في التخلص من الأصدقاء السلبيين، حتى عندما يصبحوا مصدر للقلق.

💡negative energy

الطاقة السلبية تشير إلى المشاعر والتصرفات التي تؤدي إلى تلقيد النشاط أو الإيجابية. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف يمكن لشخص يحمل طاقة سلبية أن يؤثر على الآخرين بطريقة سلبية.

💡insecure

الشعور بالضعف هو الشعور الذي يشعر به الشخص عندما لا يثق بنفسه أو بقدراته. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف يمكن لشخص ضعيف الثقة أن يؤثر على الآخرين ويجعلهم يشعرون بالضعف.

💡Envy

الحسد هو الشعور الذي يشعر به الشخص عندما يقارن نفسه بآخرين ويشعر بالرغبة في ما لديهم. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف يمكن للحسد أن يؤدي إلى التصرفات السلبية وتأثير الأصدقاء السلبيين.

💡Frenemies

الصديقان العدائين (Frenemies) هي الأصدقاء الذين في الداخل يحسدونك أو يريدون الضرر فيك. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف يمكن للحسد أن يؤدي إلى ال建立起情谊 مع الشخص الذي في النهاية يصبح عدائيًا.

💡rituals

ال儀式 هي الإجراءات التقليدية التي تتم لتجنب المشاكل الإنسانية. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف أن ال儀式 قد تكون مفيدة في تجنب الحسد في المجتمعات القديمة.

💡hierarchical

الهيكل الهرمي هو الترتيب الذي يظهر الرتب في الجماعات. في النص، يُستخدم لوصف كيف يمكن للحسد أن يحدث حتى في الحيوانات مثل الشمبانزي بسبب الترتيب الهرمي.

Highlights

The importance of surrounding oneself with the right group of people for personal and professional success.

The concept of 'infection' in relationships, where negative energy from others can affect one's own well-being.

The idea that people can be 'dramatically' interesting initially but may bring negative influences into one's life.

The need to be cautious of individuals who constantly talk about being wronged by others, potentially indicating their own issues.

The distinction between people who are genuinely unfortunate and those who bring misfortune upon themselves due to their nature.

The advice to avoid insecure people as their insecurity can negatively impact one's own confidence.

The recommendation to seek out confident and accomplished individuals to benefit from their positive energy and drive.

The discussion on 'Frenemies', individuals who befriend you out of envy but may act against your interests.

The historical and primal roots of envy, including its presence in hunter-gatherer societies and among chimpanzees.

The explanation of how envy can manifest in 'Frenemies' who rush to befriend you and may sabotage you later.

The importance of recognizing and managing one's own feelings of envy to avoid negative behaviors.

The phenomenon of 'Schadenfreude', taking pleasure in others' misfortunes, and its contrast with 'Mithridatism', feeling joy for others' success.

The challenge of dealing with long-time friends who may feel envy towards your success and act out negatively.

The personal account of how the speaker has experienced envy from people who knew him before his success.

The observation that strangers often give more compliments and recognition than those who knew the speaker before his achievements.

The suggestion to confront and overcome negative emotions such as envy to foster healthier relationships.

The emphasis on the need for intentionality in choosing the company one keeps for personal and professional growth.

Transcripts

play00:00

how important is it you know you're

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talking about colleagues and team

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members there and earlier you said that

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people are contagious how important do

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you think it is to

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the success of our lives and I paus

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there because success means it's a

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personal thing it's a professional thing

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to surround ourselves with the right

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group of people and to be intentional

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about that it's very important

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um I have a chapter in excuse me in the

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48 Laws of Power about

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infection and um I think it's an

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experience many of us have had where

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you're around

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somebody who seems at first glance to be

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very

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interesting and they they they become

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your friend maybe they're very dramatic

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and they have all these stories to tell

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and they seem almost slightly larger

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than life and you engage with them and

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then you become friends and then slowly

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slowly slowly

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it becomes clear that that they're a

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little bit nuts right they're always

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talking about how this person screwed

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them how that person screwed them how

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this boyfriend or girlfriend was so

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awful and so nasty you to re you begin

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to realize is this true or is it maybe

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they that the pro they are the problem

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but now they're your friend and now

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you're emotionally attached to them and

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now they have room to play all these

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kind of games on you and all of their

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drama starts infecting you and it's like

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God damn it I want to get away from this

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person but I can't they've infected you

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with their negative energy and it gets

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under your skin and so uh you have to

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avoid people like that you have to read

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before you get involved with them that

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they are a drama queen or a drama King

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because there just as many men out there

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who have this quality you have to see

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that they are that they play the victim

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of of everybody else but actually they

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kind of Bring It On to themselves some

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people are genu wiely unfortunate bad

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things have happened to them and it's

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not their fault I'm never saying it's a

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misconception about that chapter that

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you should avoid everybody who's

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unfortunate there are people and a lot

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of people out there whose circumstances

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have put made them you know in there

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what what's going on it's not their

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fault right but there are other people

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you have to recognize that the bad

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things that happened to them are things

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that they have brought on because they

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have this infecting power it comes from

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Deep insecurity you don't want them in

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your life being around insecure people

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will make you insecure being around

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confident people who kind of know what

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they're doing who've got their act

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together who are trying to make things

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and accomplish things because there's so

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many people out there who talk and talk

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and talk but never do anything being

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around people who do things who get

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things done who've made a business

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who've made this that or the other their

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goal to be around because they infect

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you with their positive energy

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Frenemies

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yeah do we all have Frenemies and how do

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we spot

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Frenemies well hopefully we all don't

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have them but um in the laws of human

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nature and in in several of my books I

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talk about the phenomenon of Envy which

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is very very powerful human trait it has

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roots very ancient Roots we know that in

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hunter gatherers

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societies from thousands of years ago

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Envy was a real problem and so they

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create all kinds of rituals to avoid

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Envy where the moment somebody in a

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tribe received a gift they had to give

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it to other members so they wouldn't

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face Envy because facing Envy you could

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be murdered for it so you learned all of

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these rituals and we've noticed that

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chimpanzees feel Envy you give some one

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of the higher up chimps because they're

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very hierarchical a grape and all all

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the other chimps are very wanting that

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grape as well and they feel envy and etc

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etc so it's an extremely human

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emotion the thing that we don't realize

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though that the people most likely to

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feel Envy first of all we all feel Envy

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we're all comparing ourselves to other

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people I feel it all the time right now

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I envy ran holiday because he's you know

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so 30 years younger he's sold so many

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books you know he's got all this great

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stuff I I know I know what Envy is like

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I feel it we all feel small degrees of

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Envy but there are people I call it

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passive Envy but active Envy means

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people act on it they do something to

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hurt you they sabotage you in some way

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Frenemies are the classic scenario so

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somebody who feels envious of you ends

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up befriending you and consciously they

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may not be even aware of that they think

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well I would do want to like them but

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unconsciously they feel Envy they think

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you have success that you don't

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necessarily deserve that you have what

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they want right they become your friend

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and they they charm you etc etc and then

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lo and behold you start noticing all

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kinds of behavior that's very ugly that

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you weren't expecting because you're

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they're your friend they start saying

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comments that get under your skin

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that make you feel insecure they take

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things from you they act in ways that

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are hurtful but because they're your

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friend your first instinct is to blame

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yourself well maybe it's my fault that

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they've done this maybe I'm actually to

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blame for what for what they're saying

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etc etc so I believe behind the frines

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phenomenon is this this phenomena of

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Envy where the person secretly wants

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what you have and they're becoming your

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friends so that they can wound you and

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what's best to do is to recognize that

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and one common sign sign of a friend of

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me of somebody who's befriending you out

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of Envy is they're in a rush to be your

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friend normally we like to take it a

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little bit slow we just don't let

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anybody into our lives we like to vet

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them a little bit forehand right we

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don't trust everybody but the person who

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feels Envy is like I love you you're

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fantastic I want to be your friend we

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got to hang out let's go out for dinner

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the next night ET they're in a hurry

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that's a sign that something else is

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going going on because that's not

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natural what about when friends become

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Frenemies because sometimes through the

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process of US changing yes we might

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Inspire that Envy yes like your status

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changes we've all had to deal with that

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I've had to deal with that as well you

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have

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success and you you came from a

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background where with where you weren't

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so successful and your friends are still

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there and they Envy you and they're not

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very nice to you and uh you know it's

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it's not a good quality and I've I've

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I've I've understand the quality I

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understand where it comes from and I've

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I wrote about it in human nature where

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we're all aware of the of this of the

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what we call sha Freud Shan Freud means

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you take pleasure in other people's pain

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so you hear a friend didn't get the job

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that they wanted to get and you go oh

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I'm sorry but deep down inside you kind

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of kind of happy you know and we all go

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through that right the opposite is mitfa

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it's an expression that n coin which

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means you feel Joy for other people I

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like to try and cultivate some of the

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higher qualities in life so if something

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good happens to

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somebody I my first thing is I might

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feel a twinge of Envy but then I go it's

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great for them I'm actually very happy

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I'm excited I share their joy in what

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has happened right but it's not natural

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so when somebody that you know and

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you've known for a long time has success

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in life your first thing is to be they

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didn't deserve it they kind of cheated

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their way to it okay as we talked about

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in the very beginning you confront that

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ugly emotion yourself and you go that's

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not who I want to be and you go I'm

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going to make myself feel the opposite

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I'm going to make myself feel happy for

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their

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success it's not natural and most people

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don't go through that and I know

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personally from people I knew before I

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had any success in

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life they're the ones that give me the

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fewest amount of compliments for my

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books they never read my books in the

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first place they're very spare with

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their with what they say they've got a

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pinched look on their face whereas

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people I've never met before in my life

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give me all kinds of compliments why is

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that because they're envious they're

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upset

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الإيجابيةالسلبيةالغيرةالصديقاتالعلاقاتالنجاحالثقةالعاطفةالانثىالرجالال是一本
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