How Anxiety Is Different For Men

Summary

The video script delves into 'male-type anxiety,' a distinct experience from women's, characterized by low perceived control and physical symptoms. It discusses how societal norms and hormonal differences contribute to men's unique anxiety expression, often overlooked due to traditional diagnostic criteria favoring feminine presentations. The script emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing this form of anxiety to improve men's mental health and overall life control, suggesting therapy, emotional awareness, and challenging societal norms as potential solutions.

Takeaways

• 🚹 Male anxiety is distinct from female anxiety, characterized by low perceived control and physical symptoms rather than emotional expression.
• 🔢 The script highlights that women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, suggesting a gender bias in the definition and diagnosis of anxiety.
• 🧠 Male-type anxiety involves a perception of life being out of control and the presence of unsolvable problems, which may be rooted in anxiety itself.
• 🤯 The speaker explains that 'occult anxiety' can create situations that seem unsolvable, thus reinforcing the feeling of low control.
• 🧐 The script points out that traditional masculine norms, such as restricted emotionality and problem-solving focus, may contribute to higher anxiety levels in men.
• 🧠💪 The amygdala's role in anxiety is discussed, noting that its activity can amplify perceived threats and contribute to a cycle of increased stress and anxiety.
• 💪 Men are more likely to adopt problem-based coping strategies due to societal norms, which can backfire when solutions are not reachable, exacerbating anxiety.
• 🤝 The importance of coaching and therapy is mentioned as a way to gain an outside perspective on life's problems and improve emotional awareness.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Physical exercise and mind-body practices are recommended as effective ways to manage anxiety, particularly for men.
• 🔄 The script suggests that by addressing and reducing the underlying anxiety, the cascade of stress and perceived lack of control can be broken.
• 🌐 The final takeaway emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing male-type anxiety to improve one's sense of control and overall life situation.

Q & A

What is 'male-type anxiety' as discussed in the script?

Male-type anxiety is characterized by low perceived control and physical symptoms, such as headaches, loss of appetite, body tremors, and sensations of losing control. It is different from the traditional anxiety that is more commonly diagnosed in women, which often involves internal feelings like worry and being anxious.

Why is anxiety considered a gendered concept according to the script?

Anxiety is considered a gendered concept because men and women experience it differently. The script suggests that the way anxiety is traditionally defined is more aligned with the experiences of women, while men's experiences of anxiety are often overlooked or misdiagnosed due to differences in expression and perception.

What is the significance of the statistic that 2/3 of all people diagnosed with an anxiety disorder are women?

The statistic indicates a potential gender bias in the diagnosis of anxiety disorders. It suggests that the criteria used to diagnose anxiety may not fully account for the different ways men experience anxiety, leading to underdiagnosis in men.

How does the script explain the concept of 'low perceived control'?

The script describes 'low perceived control' as a feeling that one is surrounded by unfixable problems and has no control over life situations, such as relationship issues, career prospects, or economic conditions. It suggests that this perception can actually create unsolvable situations, contributing to stress and anxiety.

What role does the amygdala play in the experience of anxiety according to the script?

The amygdala, a part of the brain involved in fear and anxiety, is active in both men and women. However, due to factors like restricted emotionality and social norms, men may not subjectively experience the anxiety that the amygdala generates. Instead, they may perceive life situations as more difficult and uncontrollable.

How does the script relate the concept of 'heterosexual norms' to anxiety?

The script explains that 'heterosexual norms' in the context of anxiety refer to restrictive emotionality and the tendency to bury emotions, which are associated with traditional masculine behavior. Adherence to these norms can contribute to higher levels of anxiety in men because it prevents them from recognizing and addressing their emotional states.

What is the 'stress generation framework' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to anxiety?

The 'stress generation framework' posits that certain characteristics, behaviors, or circumstances within an individual's life context contribute to the occurrence of dependent stressful events. In the context of male-type anxiety, low perceived control can lead to the creation of unsolvable situations, which in turn generate stress.

How does the script suggest that men's anxiety can lead to the creation of real-life problems?

The script suggests that the perception of low control and the associated anxiety can shape interactions with the world in a way that creates problems that seem unsolvable. This cycle can lead to increased stress, physical symptoms, and a further perception of low control, perpetuating the issue.

What is the role of a coach as described in the script, and how can it help with anxiety?

A coach can provide an external perspective on an individual's life, helping to identify and guide improvements in areas such as motivation, accomplishing short-term goals, and increasing a sense of purpose. Over time, this can lead to improvements in feelings of depression and anxiety.

What advice does the script give for addressing male-type anxiety?

The script advises men to become more aware of their emotional states, recognize when their amygdala may be in a hyperactive state, and work on uncovering and addressing the underlying anxiety. It also suggests seeking professional help, such as therapy or psychotherapy, and engaging in physical exercise and mind-body practices.

Outlines

00:00

🚷 Male-Type Anxiety: The Silent Struggle

The video script begins by addressing the concept of 'male-type anxiety,' highlighting that anxiety is experienced differently by men compared to women. It points out that the majority of those diagnosed with anxiety disorders are women, suggesting a gender bias in the understanding of anxiety. The speaker explains that men often feel a lack of control and exhibit physical symptoms as part of their anxiety, which contrasts with the more emotional expression typically associated with women. The script introduces the idea that men's anxiety may be rooted in societal constructs and personal perceptions, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of the topic.

05:01

🧬 The Biological and Social Roots of Male Anxiety

This paragraph delves into the reasons why men might experience anxiety differently. It discusses the role of estrogen in women, which makes them more aware of their emotions, and contrasts this with the socialization of boys to confront and fix problems rather than focusing on emotional support. The script also touches on the impact of masculine norms, such as restrictive emotionality and over-heterosexual presentation, which are linked to increased anxiety levels in men. The discussion emphasizes the importance of recognizing these factors to better understand and address male anxiety.

10:01

🔄 The Cycle of Low Perceived Control and Anxiety

The script explains how low perceived control can lead to a cycle of stress and anxiety in men. It suggests that men's anxiety is not just a matter of perception but actually influences their interactions with the world, creating situations that feel unsolvable. The paragraph discusses the stress generation framework, which posits that individual characteristics contribute to the occurrence of stressful events. The key takeaway is that men's anxiety may not be a reaction to stress but could be a cause of it, shaping their experiences and behaviors in a way that perpetuates a sense of helplessness.

15:01

💪 The Impact of Masculine Norms on Coping Mechanisms

This section examines how traditional masculine norms, such as problem-solving approaches, can affect men's ability to cope with anxiety. It suggests that men with higher levels of masculinity are more likely to employ problem-based coping strategies, which can be effective only when problems are controllable. The script warns that when solutions cannot be found, the tendency to rely on these strategies can exacerbate anxiety. The discussion highlights the need for men to develop a broader range of coping mechanisms to deal with the unique challenges posed by their anxiety.

20:01

🌐 Breaking the Cycle: Addressing Male-Type Anxiety

The final paragraph focuses on the importance of recognizing and addressing male-type anxiety. It emphasizes that by targeting the underlying anxiety, the cascade of stress and perceived lack of control can be broken. The script suggests that reducing anxiety can lead to a decrease in stress, an increase in perceived control, and ultimately, an improvement in life outcomes. It encourages men to seek professional help, work on emotional awareness, and challenge the distortions that contribute to their anxiety. The discussion concludes with a call to action for men to take their anxiety seriously and to consider various strategies, including therapy and mind-body practices, to improve their mental health.

Keywords

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness or unease, typically accompanied by an inability to relax and constant worry. In the context of the video, it's discussed as a gendered concept, with men experiencing it differently than women. The video emphasizes that traditional definitions of anxiety may not capture the full spectrum of male experiences, which often manifest as physical symptoms and a sense of low perceived control.

💡Low Perceived Control

Low perceived control refers to an individual's belief that they have little to no influence over the events and outcomes in their life. The video script describes this as a characteristic of male-type anxiety, where men feel surrounded by unfixable problems and a lack of control over their life situations, contributing to their anxiety.

💡Physical Symptoms

Physical symptoms are manifestations of anxiety that are expressed through the body, such as headaches, loss of appetite, body tremors, and sensations of losing control. The script points out that these symptoms are more common in men experiencing anxiety, as opposed to the emotional and social disruptions more typically associated with women.

💡Gendered Construct

A gendered construct is a concept or idea that is shaped by societal norms and expectations about gender roles. The video argues that the definition of anxiety is a gendered construct because it has been traditionally understood through the lens of female experiences, thus overlooking the distinct ways in which men may experience anxiety.

💡Estrogen

Estrogen is a hormone that plays a role in the development of female reproductive tissues. The script mentions estrogen as one of the biological factors that may contribute to women's heightened awareness of their internal emotional states, which contrasts with men's experiences of anxiety.

💡Masculine Norms

Masculine norms refer to the societal expectations and behaviors typically associated with men, such as emotional restriction and problem-solving orientation. The video suggests that adherence to these norms can exacerbate anxiety in men, as it encourages them to suppress emotions and focus on fixing problems, which may not always be effective or possible.

💡Stress Generation Framework

The stress generation framework posits that certain characteristics, behaviors, or circumstances can lead to the occurrence of stressful events. The video uses this framework to explain how men's low perceived control and anxiety can create unsolvable situations, thereby generating stress.

💡Problem-Based Coping

Problem-based coping is a strategy where individuals attempt to directly address and resolve the problems they face. The script discusses how men, particularly those with higher levels of masculinity, are more likely to use this approach. However, it also warns that this strategy may backfire and increase anxiety if solutions cannot be found.

💡Amygdala

The amygdala is an almond-shaped part of the brain involved in processing emotions, including anxiety. The video explains that while both men and women have amygdalae, men may not perceive the anxiety signals due to emotional restrictions and societal norms, leading to an amplification of perceived threats and difficulties.

💡Dependent Stressors

Dependent stressors are stress-inducing events that are a direct result of an individual's own actions or perceptions. The video describes how men's low perceived control and anxiety can lead to the creation of these stressors, which further exacerbate their feelings of being out of control and unable to manage their lives.

💡Cognitive Reframing

Cognitive reframing is a therapeutic technique that involves changing the way one perceives a situation in order to alter their emotional response to it. The script briefly mentions this concept, suggesting that simply changing one's mindset is not enough to address male-type anxiety, as the issue is more deeply rooted in societal norms and emotional processing.

Highlights

Anxiety is a gendered concept with men experiencing it differently than women.

Men are less likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders due to a gendered definition of anxiety.

Male-type anxiety is characterized by low perceived control and physical symptoms.

Men's perception of life being out of control can be a result of underlying anxiety.

Anxiety in men can create unsolvable situations due to low perceived control.

Men's socialization to confront and fix problems contrasts with women's emotional support.

Higher endorsement of masculine norms is associated with increased anxiety in men.

Men's anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms rather than emotional distress.

The stress generation framework suggests that individual characteristics contribute to stressful events.

Low perceived control can shape interactions with the world, creating unfixable situations.

Men's tendency to use problem-based coping strategies can exacerbate anxiety if solutions are unattainable.

Reducing anxiety can break the cycle of stress and low perceived control in men.

Physical exercise and mind-body practices are recommended for men to target anxiety.

The importance of emotional awareness in recognizing and addressing anxiety in men.

The potential impact of addressing anxiety on improving men's control over their lives.

The role of coaching in helping men understand and improve their life situations.

The connection between traditional masculine norms and the experience of anxiety in men.

The need for men to take male-type anxiety seriously and consider professional help.

Transcripts

today we're going to talk about male

type anxiety and that may sound weird

because isn't anxiety anxiety but it

turns out that anxiety is a gendered

concept men experience anxiety very

differently for from women and this is a

big problem because if we look at our

research on anxiety what we find is

2third of all people diagnosed with an

anxiety disorder are women and so what's

the reason for that let's just think

about that for a second right does this

mean that women are twice as likely to

be anxious as men actually no it means

that our definition of anxiety is a

gendered construct and the way that

women experience anxiety is what we

think of as traditional anxiety but the

way that men experience anxiety is

actually completely different so male

type anxiety is characterized by two

things low perceived control and

physical symptoms now this may sound

kind of weird so let me explain what low

perceived control is who have anxiety

their experience of life is like this

I'm surrounded by problems that are

unfixable I sort of feel like I have no

control over my life I kind of look

around and I see see situations that I

can't fix like my girlfriend is unhappy

or my wife is unhappy or I keep on

having conflict between my wife and my

mom and I don't know how to fix this or

I don't know what to do about my job my

career prospects are crap the economy is

crap I can't buy buy a house I can't

date like everything is falling apart I

can't control my life and everything is

so you may look at that and think

but isn't that everyone like doesn't

everyone struggle with this isn't just

this the normal life and the answer is

no it turns out that there's a good

chance that anxiety is at the root but

even weirder than that is that we have

it kind of wrong so if we look at the

world right now what we see is that

there's a lot of problems that I can't

fix and what we think goes on is that

the world is objectively bad I cannot

fix these things this increases our

stress and then gives us a perception

that we are out of control and we think

that's an accurate perception right the

world is therefore I can't fix it

that's not in my head the crazy thing is

that you're right it's not in your head

it's way weirder than that the weirdest

thing is we look at research on anxiety

is not that this stuff is in your head

but actually you create the situations

that are

unsolvable because you have this stealth

anxiety now I know that sounds really

weird so I'm going to say it again we

think okay the world is crap I'm out of

control right so the the circumstances

come first and then maybe Dr K is making

some point about oh this is like mindset

or like cognitive reframing or it's all

about perceptions it's about how we see

the world and if I change the way I see

the world things will be better and it's

all in my head no no no what's actually

going on is if you have occult anxiety

this creates a perception of low

perceived control and this per

perception of low perceived control then

creates events in your life that are

unsolvable now if that sounds crazy hear

me out because we're going to get into

the science of it okay I'm going to show

youall a lot of different research which

are going to be pieces of a puzzle the

tricky thing about this puzzle is that

it's not going to make sense when you

see one particular piece when we stitch

it all together is when we will see holy

crap the way that I am understanding my

life and the way that I can get control

of my life is actually very different

from what I thought so bear with me when

people hear that we offer coaching at HG

their first question is like what on

Earth even is that so here's the basic

problem when you struggle with something

in your life you don't see the problem

from the outside you see it from the

inside the value of a coach is that they

can look at your life from the outside

they can understand what's going on and

they can help guide you to improve

things like motivation accomplish

short-term goals and even increase a

sense of purpose in life and over the

long term we also see improvements in

feelings of depression and anxiety and

the best part is we've had over 100,000

coaching sessions and we incorporate

that feedback to continually improve our

program so if y'all are interested in

actually making a change in your life

check out the link in the description

below so this is from a paper called

men's anxiety a systematic review so

let's take a look at what men's anxiety

looks like as such young men reporting

increased anxiety severity were more

likely to report physical symptoms

headaches loss of appetite body Tremors

and sensations of losing control instead

of social disruptions tearing and

interpersonal distress compared to age

matched women so let's understand what

this means okay the first thing we've

got to do is Define it right so this is

characterized by low perceived control

and this is characterized by physical

symptoms now why is this significant so

if we look at anxiety diagnoses across

the board they are 2 to one in favor of

women so for every two women that's

diagnosed with an anxiety disorder we

have one man that is diagnosed with an

anxiety disorder and why is this it's

because our clinical criteria for an

anxiety disorder are characterized by

these other things that are more common

in women so a lot of these

characterizations are internal feelings

like being worried being anxious right

that's the word that we use these are

anxiety disorders but it turns out that

men don't feel that anxiety in the same

way that women do and there are a couple

of really good reasons for this the

first is that women have more estrogen

and estrogen as a hormone makes us more

aware of our internal emotional state so

women are able to feel their emotions

more easily but it isn't that simple so

in behavioral observation studies of

boys and girls boys were

disproportionately encouraged by parents

to confront stressful and fearful

stimulants whereas girls were more

commonly comforted by their parents when

displaying a fearful or anxious response

so sure estrogen is is at play but then

the way that we're socialized is also at

play and what boys are taught to do is

confront and fix our problems as opposed

to doing some kind of emotional support

or

awareness okay so now we see these are

like two reasons why men don't

experience anxiety quote unquote

normally

because we're actually socialized to not

focus on our feelings but to fix our

problems okay so this is a second reason

so this is why men men's anxiety and

women's anxiety is different it's

because the way that we're raised is

because of estrogen so what contributes

to men's anxiety in contrast higher

endorsement of masculine Norms including

restrictive emotionality restricted

affectionate Behavior towards other men

and over heterosexual presentation were

all associated with increased levels of

anxiety in young and adult men what on

Earth restricted emotionality and

heterosexual Norms hold on a second Dr K

are you telling me that if I'm straight

I'm more like likely to experience

anxiety kind of right so many years ago

I asked chat hey chat how should I deal

with my anxiety and they were like Sagan

nuts bro and it turns out that they they

were right because now we have data that

shows us that heterosexual Norms I.E

preference for for a particular kind of

genitalia is associated with higher

levels of anxiety turns out that's not

actually what the paper is saying so

let's understand this okay what we mean

by heterosexual Norms is restrictive

emotionality and sort of burying our

emotions so the manly man is not very

emotional right so I'm like a man I'm G

to fix my problems there blah blah so we

don't talk about we fix them like if you

we

fixing that's what we mean okay has

nothing to do with what your genital

preference is it's entirely about your

restrictive emotionality so this creates

another challenge because if we are

manly men right we just like good men

like as boys we're like be a good man

what this means is we're not aware of

our internal emotional state which in

turn means that even though our anxiety

is high we don't feel anxiety right

instead what we see is oh my God this

situation is out of control and I can't

fix it now we get to the craziest part

which is remember that I said that the

real tragedy of men's anxiety is that we

believe our life is out of control and

we sort of think like oh Dr K is talking

about like oh we need to do something

cognitive right to change my perception

and then like once I like understand

this all in my head then

everything will be better no no no no no

the crazy thing is our low perception of

self-control doesn't just shape our

internal environment it actually creates

the problems that are unsolvable now if

this sounds insane that's because it is

so here's another paper fantastic paper

from hour who's at mlan at Harvard so FY

ry's an awesome person um the stress

generation framework posits that

characteristics behaviors or

circumstances within an individual's

life context contribute to the

occurrence of dependent stressful events

so this may sound crazy so what this

sort of means is that more recently

arbach art and Abella found that low

perceived control a belief that one may

have the limited ability to change views

of the self world and future contributed

to Greater dependent interpersonal

stress the crazy thing about hour boox

research is that it demonstrates that

low perceived control isn't just in your

head and it's not that you misinterpret

the world it is that when you have low

perceived control which is related to

male type anxiety which you can't feel

which we'll get to in a second when you

have low perceived control it shapes the

way that you interact with the world and

creates unfixable situations so this a

simple example okay so let's say that I

I'm worried that I can't make my wife

happy and so if I sort of believe that

in some way that will affect my

behaviors right I will try a little bit

less because what's the point in making

her happy if I'm doomed to fail what's

the point in dating if I'm never going

to find anyone anyway so as we start to

have some of these perceptions of low uh

low perceived control what the research

actually shows is that this creates

problems in our life it's not that the

problem comes first and then I feel like

I'm out of control it's actually the

other way around perceived control as

predictors of anxious symptoms and

stress so the key thing about this paper

is that this comes first it doesn't come

next this predicts the anxiety this

creates the anxiety this creates the

stress it's not that the stress creates

the P perception of low control it's the

other way around okay here's me and

here's the world and the world is

and then what ends up happening is We

believe We conclude I can't win right

this becomes a logical conclusion so

what ends up actually happening what the

research shows us is here is me here is

my perception of low control this

creates a situation that is unsolvable

this then generates stress now this gets

kind of weirder right there are a couple

of other things so this perception of

low low uh perceived control is anxiety

that we are blind to so we don't see it

okay there's no seeing of the anxiety

that's an eyeball we don't see the

anxiety now why is this important why do

I believe that anxiety is at the root of

this so now we go back to the amygdala

so see our amydala like men and women

both have amigdalas we both have this

part of our brain like lizards

have it too that this is where anxiety

comes from the problem is that

subjectively we don't experience it as

anxiety so when the amydala lights up in

a man because of our restricted

emotionality because of our heterosexual

Norms because of the way that we're

taught to fix our problems we don't feel

this anxiety but it's still active and

let's understand what the impact of this

anxiety actually is so let's say I have

a problem that is of five difficulty and

then what ends up happening is I have

five units of anxiety and then what

happens is these combine to create my

actual perception which is 10 units of

difficulty now I know this sounds kind

of weird but I want youall to just think

about this for a second right so think

about the friends of yours who are

anxious and they're worried about stuff

right so when they're worried about

stuff How likely is that thing to come

to pass right so I'm paranoid that oh my

God my teacher is going to kick me out

of class because I sent an email asking

for an extension so when anxiety when

the amydala is active in our brain this

isn't that they're they're not dumb or

anything like that this is literally

what happens in the amydala what the

amydala does is

amplifies the perception of things going

bad so what it does is it like if if the

risk is actually like 10% the amydala

will literally amplify it to 20% or 30%

or 40% okay now this is where things get

really tricky so if we have amygdalar

activity that we are not aware of

because of emotional restriction now

what we have is we have 10 units of

difficulty and the actual difficulty is

only five but this is our perception

over here so now this problem seems

larger than it is and this is where we

get into really tricky things because

once it starts to get out of control

right because we can't handle 10 units

10 units is too

much then get back to this so

furthermore when evaluating socialized

gender roles and coping Behavior

individuals with higher levels of

masculinity were more likely to employ

problem-based coping regardless of

biological sex so what this statement is

talking about is that basically like the

more masculine you are the more you try

to fix your problems right and then this

suggests a strong adherence to

traditional masculine Norms may impact

expectant coping behaviors in men

prompting oriented problem solving

approaches in in the face of elevated

anxiety levels so this makes sense okay

so I'm going to translate this for a

second once again so this means is like

if you're a dude and you've got a

problem in life what do you do about the

problem you fix it right that's

all this is a fancy way of saying the

more manly you are the more you just fix

your problems because that's the like

what else am I supposed to do with

problems right if you're listening to

this and you're like Dr K that's dumb

what else are you supposed to do except

for fix a problem like what else can you

do here here's the problem in contrast

there may be a threshold at which the

tendency to revert to problem-based

coping strategies exacerbates anxiety if

Solutions cannot be reached by men

accustomed to self- remedy okay previous

research evaluating stress and coping

suggests that problem-based coping may

only be effective when stressors or

situations are controllable or can be

adjusted what this means is that problem

based coping only works if you can fix

the problem so then what happens in men

when we can't fix a problem so now what

let's go back to our diagram okay so

this is important because if we can't

fix the problem what does it do so now

we get to see how everything ties

together so here's what really happens

here's me I am faced with a problem and

then I have this occult which means

hidden

anxiety okay so this problem is five

units and this anxiety adds five units

of difficulty it's like we're playing

the game on hard mode and this once we

start playing the game on hard mode now

this is 10 units of difficulty okay this

mob is now too high for our level

because we're level five but because of

our occult anxiety we perceive this as

level 10 as we perceive this as level 10

this creates

stress why does it creates stress it

creates stress because if we are faced

with problems that we cannot fix what

happens we get stressed out right so

let's understand this so if I were to

say Hey you person who is watching this

YouTube video I want you to wash your

hands does this stress you out no I

don't need to be stressed out if I'm

washing my hands because I am capable of

doing it no biggie I can wash my hands

stress is created when we Face problems

that we perceive as unsolvable so as we

perceive this problem is unsolvable this

increases our stress increases our

cortisol furthermore increases our

anxiety even more and then also leads to

physical symptoms headaches tension

muscle aches all this kind of stuff

nausea dudes have like the just these

weird like aches and pains and like I'm

not sure I need to go to the gym but I

can't go to the gym like all this kind

of stuff happens and then these two

things then lead to a perception of low

perceived control right because now this

problem is too big to solve and then

this leads to

dependent stressors these are the actual

problems that get created in your life

this is the actual sequence of things

it's not this up here it is actually the

opposite it is this over here here's you

here's a real problem plus anxiety this

makes it overwhelming but you don't

really see this remember this is we are

not able to see see that this creates a

stress response this then creates

dependent interpersonal stressors this

creates the problems in your life this

is what the research shows and this is

the real tragedy of male type anxiety

first of all why are we not diagnosed

with it because most people are not

aware of this picture you all have to

understand this this is put together

from two places I did a bunch of

research but then I also work with a

bunch of people who are blackpilled so

when I work with people who are black K

what do they say they say this is going

wrong this is going wrong this is going

wrong this is going wrong I can't fix my

life this is screwed this is screwed

this is screwed this is screwed and then

Along Comes Dr K now everyone thinks oh

my God Dr K is a miracle worker like

maybe Dr K can fix me but I can't fix

all those problems I can't fix any of

those problems right I can't fix the

dating crisis I can't fix this other

kind of stuff I can't fix any of that so

it turns out that when I work with

someone who's blackpilled what I really

Target is there underlying occult

anxiety so this whole sequence can be

broken apart if you understand how it

works and understand where to target

things where is the real Inception of

this the Inception of this is the unfelt

anxiety that exacerbates your problems

the the real place to Target this is

when your amydala amplifies the size of

a danger right and I want you all to

think back to when you were little kids

and you were scared in your room at

night

and when you were scared if your parents

tried to tell you hey there's no real

danger this problem does not exist could

you understand no this problem does not

exist of course not the child believes

that the shadow on the wall is a monster

it takes this hypothetical fear and

turns it into a reality and the crazy

thing about people who are blackpilled

and they will dispute this is they are

living in the same world that we are

living in right we're all living in the

same world things are hard for everyone

but they say oh no no but my chin is

smaller and I'm 5'2 everyone has some

objective disadvantages I'm not talking

I'm not saying that but I'm saying

fundamentally this part we need to

really focus on and this has been my

experience when we target the anxiety

when we reduce the anxiety this whole

Cascade falls apart so then you are

faced with problems that are no longer

overwhelming once you are faced with

problems that no longer feel

overwhelming then your stress level goes

down as your stress level goes down your

perception of control increases and this

is the Beautiful Thing Once your

perception of control increases you

actually start fixing the problems in

your life you stop creating additional

problems because of your perception of

low self-control and we hear this advice

everywhere right just get started just

get started just get started just act

and this is the tragedy of male type

anxiety we probably have a bunch of men

out there maybe as much as 5% of to the

population so one out of 20 men who's

experiencing anxiety in some way but

they're not aware of it all they see is

that the world is black pilled I can't

do anything about this I can't do

anything about this I can't do anything

about this I can't do anything about

this and the tragedy of that is it is

that belief that creates the objective

situations and just in your head this

actually creates the problems in your

life so what do we do about it start by

first of all does this picture fit you

right do you look at the world and is

your primary experience of the world hey

or not may maybe not primary but a big

part of your experience that I feel out

of control if you feel out of control

you may have this male type anxiety the

icing on the cake is going to be if you

also have these like physical symptoms

and stuff like that this is going to be

really another really important sign the

cool thing is the way that we're going

to fix this by all means go see a

therapist get a diagnosis start doing

Psychotherapy all that stuff is really

fantastic but the couple of things that

we need to change are first of all our

emotional awareness to recognize is my

amydala in a hyperactive state right and

you won't feel worried or tearful or

anxious you'll just be like stressed out

right so the the the main thing that

you're going to feel is stress and

physical symptoms and and low perceiv

control then you have to do the hard

work of uncovering that anxiety

uncovering these distortions uncovering

the source of your perception that your

control is not there in life and as you

target those kinds of things so we have

a whole guide to anxiety we do all these

different exercises and community events

and stuff like that basically focus on

that anxiety because it's not going to

look like anxiety but do all of those

same kinds of things so physical

exercise is really great for men um Mind

Body practices are really fantastic too

but really Target that anxiety and what

you will see is something that I've seen

with black pillars over and over and

over again who I've worked with is that

something changes once we start

decompressing that emotional energy

literally once we start calming down the

amydala suddenly this is a child in a

bedroom who sees that this is not an

actual monster this is just a shadow and

it could be a monster monster could be a

monster let's be honest could be a

monster things could be bad things may

not work out but their their amydala is

not amplifying the danger and making it

feel more real as that goes away our

sense of control increases and once we

have a perception that we can fix this

game of life then things actually start

to get better we see those dependent

stressful events start to improve and

then their life objectively gets better

so if you're a dude out there in this

fits please please please take it very

seriously consider seeing a professional

about it consider working on your

anxiety and if yall want more

information check out our guide to

anxiety and the last thing that you can

do remember those heterosexual Norms

lead to an increased experience of

anxiety that we don't even feel so I'll

let you figure out what that last thing

you can potentially do is take care

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