the rise of PICKME PROPAGANDA - "men control commitment"

Summary

The podcast transcript challenges the notion that men gatekeep commitment, arguing instead that women hold the power to gatekeep various aspects of relationships. It criticizes the dating app culture for enabling men to lead women on and then ghost them, and emphasizes the importance of women recognizing their worth and not auditioning for men's approval. The host encourages finding good men offline and highlights that women should expect men to make their lives easier, not harder, in a partnership.

Takeaways

• 🚫 The script challenges the societal belief that men gatekeep commitment, instead arguing that women gatekeep much more, including their bodies, wombs, and the next generation.
• 💔 It discusses the negative impact of the belief that men control relationships, which can lead women to feel unworthy or disrespect themselves when faced with rejection.
• 🔄 The podcast host emphasizes that rejection is a normal part of dating and can be a valuable source of information, helping individuals understand they are not meant to be with someone.
• 📱 The rise of dating apps and hookup culture has made it easier for men to pursue women without genuine commitment, leading to confusion and frustration among women who are ghosted after showing interest.
• 👥 The script suggests that good men are not found online but in real-life interactions, encouraging women to look offline for meaningful relationships.
• 🤔 It highlights the importance of not arguing with men online, as the internet can be a place where women are easily objectified and exploited.
• 💍 The narrative that men are the gatekeepers of marriage is questioned, pointing out that men often benefit more from marriage in terms of health and well-being.
• 🏠 The script discusses the emotional and physical labor women take on in relationships and families, often going unnoticed or unappreciated.
• 👩‍👧‍👦 Widows are reported to be happier than widowers, suggesting that women have more fulfilling relationships outside of marriage and are less reliant on their husbands for happiness.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The video transcript calls for women to recognize their power in relationships, to stop auditioning for men's approval, and to seek out partners who genuinely make their lives better.
• 📉 The script concludes by urging women to leave relationships where they are not valued or supported, and to seek out those who contribute positively to their lives.

Q & A

What is the main argument presented in the podcast episode about women and gatekeeping in relationships?

The main argument is that contrary to the common belief that men gatekeep commitment, it is actually women who gatekeep various aspects of relationships, including their bodies, wombs, and commitment, and that women should recognize their power in this dynamic.

Why does the host suggest that women should not believe in the idea that men gatekeep commitment?

The host argues that believing in this idea puts women in a position of auditioning for a man's approval, which is disrespectful to themselves and undermines their own power and worth in a relationship.

How does the podcast episode relate the use of dating apps to the concept of gatekeeping?

The episode suggests that dating apps have lowered the barriers to entry in relationships, making it easier for men to pretend they want something serious while actually not being committed, which contributes to the misconception that men gatekeep commitment.

What is the host's view on the impact of technology and dating apps on dating dynamics?

The host believes that technology and dating apps have made it easier for men to objectify and exploit women, leading to a rise in 'below bare minimum effort men' and a culture where women are treated as products for sale.

What advice does the host give to women who are looking for a good partner?

The host advises women to look offline and in real life for good partners, as good men are not typically found in online spaces where they have nothing better to do than seek attention.

What does the host suggest about the societal pressure on women to marry?

The host suggests that societal pressure and the cultural fantasy of weddings have led women to believe they need to marry, even if the reality of marriage may not be as fulfilling or beneficial for them.

How does the host address the issue of men benefiting more from marriage than women?

The host points out that research shows men benefit more from marriage in terms of health, well-being, and longevity, yet women often take on more emotional and physical labor in the relationship.

What is the host's perspective on the role of women in a marriage?

The host believes that women are the ones who truly gatekeep in a marriage, as they are responsible for the emotional and physical well-being of the family, and should be recognized for their efforts.

Why does the host argue that women should not feel the need to audition for a man's commitment?

The host argues that women should not feel the need to audition because they are the literal prize and should not disrespect themselves by seeking a man's validation or commitment.

What does the host suggest about the availability of good men?

The host suggests that good men are not in short supply, but rather they are offline and not seeking attention online, implying that women should look for partners in real-life situations where men are genuinely engaged in life.

How does the host describe the typical behavior of men who use dating apps to mislead women?

The host describes these men as 'below bare minimum effort men' who lead women on with the promise of a serious relationship, only to ghost them after achieving their goal, taking advantage of the low stakes and ease of access provided by dating apps.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 Challenging the Myth of Male Commitment Gatekeeping

The host, L, kicks off the podcast by addressing the misconception that men gatekeep commitment while women gatekeep 'schmecks' (attractiveness or charm). She argues that women actually gatekeep a lot more, including their bodies, wombs, and the next generation. L emphasizes that the belief in male gatekeeping is harmful, as it positions men as the arbiters of women's worth in relationships. She encourages women to reject this narrative and recognize their own power in relationships, urging them to stop auditioning for men's approval and instead see themselves as the literal prize.

05:02

💔 The Impact of Dating Apps on Relationship Dynamics

In this paragraph, L discusses the negative effects of dating apps and the hookup culture on relationship dynamics. She notes that these platforms have lowered the barriers to entry for dating, leading to a rise in men who lead women on and then ghost them without reason. L points out that while rejection is a normal part of dating, the current trend of men misleading women and then abandoning them is particularly distressing. She suggests that the problem is exacerbated by the ease with which men can pretend to be interested in a serious relationship, only to change their minds after achieving their goals.

10:03

🤔 Reevaluating the Role of Women in Relationships

L challenges the traditional narrative that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. She argues that women, in fact, gatekeep everything, including commitment and relationships. The host encourages women to recognize their own power and desirability, and to stop seeking validation and commitment from men who may not be worthy of it. L emphasizes that women should not audition for men's approval but rather expect men to be grateful for their attention and the opportunity to be in a relationship with them.

15:05

🌿 The Offline Search for Quality Relationships

Here, L suggests that good men are not found online but in real life. She criticizes the online environment where men can easily spread negativity and seek attention without meaningful interaction. The host encourages women to look offline for relationships, pointing out that good men are busy living their lives and are not the ones trolling the internet. L also touches on the importance of discernment in choosing a partner and emphasizes that it's not just about luck but also about recognizing and choosing a good person from the start.

20:07

💔 The Reality of Emotional and Physical Labor in Marriage

In this paragraph, L highlights the disproportionate amount of emotional and physical labor that women often take on in marriage. She discusses how women are frequently responsible for caregiving and running the household, in addition to their other responsibilities. The host uses a social media video as an example to illustrate the point that women bear the brunt of the work, even when their partners are present but not actively helping. L calls for women to acknowledge this imbalance and to seek out relationships where they are not the sole bearers of labor.

💎 Recognizing and Embracing Women's Power in Relationships

L concludes the podcast by emphasizing the importance of women recognizing their power in relationships. She argues that women gatekeep everything of value, including commitment and the next generation, and should act accordingly. The host encourages women to stop seeking validation from men and instead expect men to be grateful for the opportunity to be with them. L calls for a shift in the cultural narrative to reflect the reality of women's power and to stop giving men excuses for their lack of contribution in relationships.

Keywords

💡Gatekeeping

Gatekeeping refers to the act of controlling or limiting access to something, often used metaphorically to describe the power dynamics in relationships. In the video's context, it challenges the notion that men gatekeep commitment, arguing instead that women are the ones who control various aspects of relationships and societal structures. The script uses the term to critique the societal belief that men are the deciders of relationship progression, emphasizing that women have the power to gatekeep much more than is commonly acknowledged.

💡Auditioning Energy

The term 'auditioning energy' is used to describe the mindset where individuals feel they must prove themselves worthy of something, such as a relationship. The video criticizes this attitude, suggesting that it is demeaning and disempowering for women who feel they must 'audition' for a man's commitment. It is linked to the broader theme of self-worth and the importance of recognizing one's own value independent of another person's validation.

💡Spoiled Girly Support Group

This seems to be the name of the podcast or a group理念 that the host is part of, which focuses on empowering women financially and emotionally. The term is used to introduce the podcast and to set the stage for discussions about women's autonomy and self-reliance. It suggests an environment where women are encouraged to be assertive about their needs and desires, including financial stability, without relying on men for validation or support.

💡Below Bare Minimum Effort Men

This phrase is used to describe men who put in the least amount of effort in relationships or dating scenarios. The script criticizes these men for their lack of commitment and for leading women on without genuine intentions. It is used to highlight the disparity between the expectations placed on women versus men in dating and relationship dynamics, suggesting that men can often get away with minimal effort due to societal norms and structures.

💡Rejection

Rejection is a common theme in discussions about dating and relationships. The video script discusses how women often internalize rejection as a sign of their unworthiness. However, it challenges this notion by suggesting that rejection is a normal part of life and can be seen as a form of saving oneself from potential heartache. The script uses the concept of rejection to encourage women to view it not as a personal failure but as valuable information about compatibility.

💡Ghosting

Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without any explanation, often occurring after the initial stages of dating. The script addresses the issue of men who show interest and then ghost women without reason, which can lead to confusion and emotional distress. It is used to illustrate the unpredictability and potential harm of modern dating practices, particularly facilitated by dating apps.

💡Dating Apps

Dating apps are digital platforms that allow users to connect with potential romantic partners. The video discusses how these apps have changed the dynamics of dating by lowering the barriers to entry and making it easier for people to meet and interact. However, it criticizes the way dating apps can facilitate 'below bare minimum effort' behavior and contribute to the objectification and exploitation of women, making it more challenging to find genuine connections.

💡Emotional Labor

Emotional labor refers to the work of managing feelings and emotions, often associated with tasks such as caregiving, nurturing, and maintaining relationships. In the script, it is highlighted that women frequently bear the brunt of emotional labor in relationships and families, which can be exhausting and undervalued. The video uses this concept to argue for a reevaluation of gender roles and the recognition of the significant contributions women make to relationships.

💡Widows and Widowers

The script discusses the differences in how widows and widowers cope with the loss of their spouse, suggesting that widows are generally happier than widowers. It uses this to argue that women have more robust support systems and deeper relationships, which contribute to their overall well-being. The concept is used to challenge traditional views on marriage and gender roles, suggesting that women are often more self-sufficient and emotionally resilient than societal narratives might imply.

💡Health Benefits of Marriage

The video references studies that suggest there are health benefits associated with marriage, particularly for men. It points out that married men tend to have better health outcomes and lower mortality rates compared to their unmarried counterparts. The script uses this information to argue against the societal narrative that men are the gatekeepers of commitment, suggesting instead that men have a vested interest in marriage due to its health benefits.

💡Partnership

Partnership, in the context of the video, refers to the idea that a romantic relationship should be a mutually beneficial arrangement where both parties support and enhance each other's lives. The script argues against relationships where one partner, particularly the woman, is made to feel like she must audition for the other's commitment or approval. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing the value of a true partnership where both individuals contribute to and benefit from the relationship.

Highlights

The podcast challenges the common belief that men gatekeep commitment while arguing that women actually gatekeep more aspects of a relationship.

Women are often misled to believe they need to 'audition' for a man's commitment, which is a disrespectful and harmful mindset.

The podcast emphasizes that women are the 'literal prize' and should not demean themselves by seeking validation from men.

It critiques the narrative that men are the gatekeepers of relationships and encourages women to recognize their own power in relationships.

The host discusses the impact of dating apps and hookup culture on the dynamics of dating, suggesting they contribute to a rise in 'below bare minimum effort' men.

The podcast points out that rejection is a normal part of dating and should be seen as information rather than a reflection of one's worth.

The host argues that the belief in men as gatekeepers of commitment leads to women feeling unworthy when faced with rejection.

The podcast highlights the importance of not being misled by men who may change their intentions post-intimacy, a common issue with dating apps.

The host suggests that good men are more likely to be found offline rather than through online dating platforms.

The podcast discusses the societal pressure on women to marry and the narrative that unmarried women are sad or dangerous.

The host argues that women should not wait passively for marriage but instead actively choose their partners based on discernment.

The podcast points out that men benefit more from marriage in terms of health and well-being compared to women.

The host challenges the idea that men build everything and argues that women are essential to the success of any endeavor.

The podcast discusses the emotional and physical labor women take on in relationships and the importance of recognizing this.

The host encourages women to leave relationships where they are made to feel more stressed, tired, and exhausted.

The podcast emphasizes the importance of choosing a partner who makes life easier and contributes positively to one's well-being.

The host shares personal anecdotes about the importance of discernment in choosing a partner and the role of luck versus judgment.

Transcripts

ma'am your husband hates you when you

believe that men gatekeep commitment you

put yourself in auditioning energy and

that's the worst energy to be in as a

woman like how dare you okay how dare

you audition for a man how dare you ask

a man to pick you pick me choose me love

me how dare you disrespect yourself like

that okay like get up okay you are the

literal prize you literally are the

gateway to the portal like you're not

just the gate he you're the literal gate

okay hey bestie welcome to the spoiled

girly support group podcast where we

talk about how to get that bag while

also secure in your own bag I'm your

host L and let's get into it on today's

episode we are talking about how women

gatekeep relationships not men and it

has been the long running scam getting

women to believe that men gep anything

in their pursuit of accessing women and

the earlier you undo this scammy belief

the better off you are as a woman now we

have a lot to cover but before we get

into it I need you to hit the like

subscribe and the notification Bell so

you never miss a spoiled girly episode

with that being said let's get into it

women are often told that women Gat keep

schmecks and Men gatekeep commitment and

women often believe this bold and

blatant and unfortunately very pervasive

lie that men gatekeep everything like no

women gatekeep everything women gatekeep

their bodies their wombs they gatekeep

the Next Generation they gatekeep

relations they gatekeep commitment so so

women gatekeep so much of everything

that men wanted to experience it and

gatekeep resources so that women

wouldn't have a choice but be in

proximity to men because if men didn't

gatekeep resources and brainwash women

into believing their lies below bare

minimum low effort men wouldn't have a

chance in life and before people say

that like oh not all men yeah obviously

not all men that's why there's a huge

qualifier in the beginning it's become a

tongue twister below bare mineral effort

men okay it's so annoying like

noit annoying back to the topic like

when you believe this lie that women

gatekeep schmecks and men gatekeep

commitment you start thinking that men

are the Arbiters of your worth as a

partner this belief that men gatekeep

commitment is what turns women into

pigmies okay it's the reason why women

feel so down when a guy suddenly stops

texting them or calling them after a few

dates you think that you're not worthy

of a relationship because some man

rejected you because he didn't deem you

worthy enough of being in a relationship

with because he's the gatekeeper of

relationships he didn't think you were

worthy enough like no first of all

rejection is normal okay for every

rejection you receive you should be

thankful because they are saving you so

much heartache and so much resources and

so much time that that you would have

wasted wasted if you kept on going with

this relationship rejecting you is

honestly the biggest favor that they

could do for you and that's not to say

though that rejection isn't painful

because it is like rejection is painful

but rejection in the early dating stages

is information okay now you know you're

not meant to be with this person thank

you next but it's one thing to be

rejected outright and it's one thing to

be love bombed misled and taken

advantage of and left feeling used and

duped and conned which which is what's

happening to a lot of women meeting men

on dating apps in today's dating

landscape women are facing a rise of

below bare midow effort men facilitated

by the rise of dating apps and hookup

culture and we have discussed both

dating apps and hookup culture in past

classes so check it out if you missed it

anyway as technology has made it easier

to meet potential Partners many women

find themselves confused and frustrated

when men who initially show interest

interest pursue them and then ghost them

okay and like I said it's okay if you

get rejected but there's this trend of

men literally leading women on for such

a long time and then just ghost them for

no reason okay but there is a reason and

we're going to get into it in a little

bit okay and actually we're going to get

into it right now let's talk about it

dating apps have lowered barriers to

entry let's watch this video men don't

want to earn our time in presence the

way they expect us to earn theirs you're

so right at the end of the day it's just

laziness I've been thinking recently

about how the barriers to entry when it

comes to dating and romance have been

lowered SL literally obliterated as a

result of dating apps and the

pervasiveness of like hookup culture and

I have done like previous videos and

podcast episodes about this but just

recently I've been talking to people

that have been using dating apps and

then I've also been seeing a lot of

screenshots on Chinese social Med Med

particularly like Chinese girls that

live overseas and date overseas men and

use apps like Tinder and Bumble and I'm

seeing a lot of examples of messages

where guys are like hey I've been

thinking about us and I just don't think

I'm ready for a relationship not

actually looking for anything serious

being really great getting to know you

and girls just being like so confused

that this guy's like pursued them or

they've become intimate with this guy

and then he just like flips the switch

and is like like that Meme that's like

like I've had a really great time with

you I think you're amazing but I'm going

to go find someone better and I think

it's because the stakes are just so low

when it comes to dating now because

there was like this study that was done

obviously this doesn't apply to everyone

but like in heteronormative relationship

Dynamics women are the ones that Gat

keep sex and men are the ones that Gat

keep commitment and because dating apps

make it so easy for men to have access

to women and then to also pretend that

they want something serious when they

could just be talking out of their ass

you know like it is so common for men to

say that they want to take you seriously

up until the point that they are able to

sleep with you and then they can change

their mind and say oh sorry I realized

realized I'm not ready for something

serious like even though you're not

guaranteed your relationship working out

if you meet someone in person if a guy

pursues you in person or approaches you

in person I feel like at least he's

going to be more intentional and he's

going to feel like he has something to

lose or there is something for him to

earn as a result of putting himself out

there and approaching you in person most

of the people that I've dated I've met

in person first and then maybe we've

like connected on social media but I

feel like because they have had to like

know me before they've asked me out

there is so much more weight put on that

interaction and on the potential of that

connection than if they had never seen

me before in person and were just

swiping through an app and met me that

way like I don't think you're guaranteed

your relationship working out just

because you meet in person first but I

feel like at least you might have a

slightly better quality experience

because a guy has to put in so much more

effort has to like be so much more

vulnerable when he approaches a woman in

person or a woman that he actually knows

not someone that is just like I mean

dating has always been a game but with

the rise of dating app s it has become

even more of a game for men who lack

empathy women have become more easily

objectified and exploited with the aid

of dating apps and I have waxed poetic

about dating apps in a past class but

it's absolutely disgusting how women

have become the products for sale on

these apps even the ones that claim to

be so Pro women so she also got into how

women's belief that men gatekeep

commitment is basically creating this

situation where women are auditioning

for commitment for relationships from

men okay so a lot of women believe this

women gatekeep schmecks and men gatekeep

commitment scam they fall for this trap

of giving men access to their portal in

hopes of getting commitment out of the

men like if you have to audition for a

man he's not the one and especially men

who participate in hookup culture and

Men Who see women as objects to be used

and conquered okay these are the very

same men who will call Women quote

unquote impure when women become quote

unquote impure by being with them it's

almost like they're the impurity okay so

contrast that scammy belief that man Gat

keep commitment with believing that you

as a woman Gat keep everything that you

as a woman Gat keep commitment as well

okay you Gat keep schmeck you gate keep

commitment you gate keep his lineage you

Gat keep everything okay he should be

absolutely great ful that you're even

talking to him and if he doesn't

recognize that he's not the one when you

believe that men gatekeep commitment you

put yourself in auditioning energy and

that's the worst energy to be in as a

woman like how dare you okay how dare

you audition for a man how dare you ask

a man to pick you pick me choose me love

me how dare you disrespect yourself like

that okay like get up okay you are the

literal prize you literally are the

Gateway to the portal like you're not

just the gatekeeper you're the literal

gate okay so can we not can we not

believe for one second that the people

having their so-called loneliness crisis

are the ones gatekeeping anything okay

men gatekeep commitment yet no one wants

to commit to them it's like being a

bouncer to a club that nobody wants to

go into like anyway I understand that

women feel this pressure to audition for

certain men to be a pikmy for certain

men feel like certain men do gate keep

commitment I understand that because it

seems like good men are in short supply

but let me tell you good men seem like

they're in short supply because y'all

are looking online like y'all are too

online okay the good men are offline

you're not going to find them in comment

sections you're not going to find them

trolling the internet liking girls

pictures and blah blah blah like you're

not going to find them there okay the

good men are offline and I know you

because I'm like this too you're always

online we're always online we're

chronically online I get that so

whenever I get so down on men I go out

and I touch grass the good men are

offline so if you want to find one and

that desire to be in relationship with a

man is also valid no no Nelly if you're

really into that go touch grass okay the

good men are offline they're offline

minding their business so what are you

doing like thinking that you can find a

good one from a pool of men who have

nothing better to do than be online and

spread their hatred online you know know

it's because no one wants to talk to

them in real life that's why they have

to get your attention in comment

sections telling you mean things arguing

the minutest of points just so that they

can get some of your energy okay and

that's exactly why you shouldn't argue

with men online you shouldn't talk to

men online like no the internet is for

the girls period okay without feminine

energy they wither and they know it you

are food to them you are nourishment to

them you are sustenance to them men

built everything

which is patently false by the way men

built everything but they wouldn't have

built all of that if it wasn't for women

so can we like once and for all agree

that women gatekeep everything even

commitment even relationships even

marriage okay like that's what's so

baffling to me about this discourse that

men gatekeep commitment when they're

literally the ones going down on one

knee purchasing something so expensive

as a symbol of sacrifice asking a woman

to marry him like you're like you're

really telling me that it's that man

who's gatekeeping anything the man who's

saying marry

me like that what our culture has made

such a pikm out of women by perpetuating

this narrative that it isn't women who

gatekeep relationships we have been

programmed to see unmarried women as sad

because they're alone and at the same

time they're dangerous because they

might steal our husbands we've been

taught to wait around for marriage so by

the time we get proposed to the answer

is is usually 100% absolutely yes like

can we leave some mystery can we not

wait until we've had a brood of kids

lost out on opportunities literally made

our worlds revolve around men who are

not our husbands so by the time that

they ask us to marry them there's no

other answer other than yes so that we

could keep living the same life we were

living like can we leave some mystery

okay obviously with Nuance because I

know that there's women who never want

to be married for various reasons so

this statement is obviously no no Nelly

for the women who want marriage okay so

I'm going to get people in the comments

saying like oh what if this what if that

then it's not about that then now here's

something fascinating that I found to

drive this point home if the husband

dies the wife is going to be fine really

yeah widows are way happier than

widowers I told that to my wife and

she's like

huh widowers do really poorly generally

men do very poorly and part of the

reason is because these data are

disputed but more or less they're

they're directionally correct 60% of

60-year-old men say their best friend is

their wife 30% of their wives say their

best friend is their husband women have

more relationships they have closer

deeper love

relationships with non-related kin and

with the adult children typically than

the husband does the husband's most

intense companion relationship typically

is with the wife and that's why that's

an asymmetric stat m and that's what the

data say and according to Harvard Health

publishing a major survey of

127,500 is

loneliness is the institution of

marriage linked to Better Health or is

it simply a question of living with

another person although studies vary the

answer seems to be a little of both

people living with unmarried Partners

tend to Fair better than those living

alone but men living with their wives

have the best health of all and what's

more Japanese scientists reported that

never married men were three times more

likely to die from cardiovascular

disease than married men and a report

from the Framingham Offspring study also

suggests that marriage is truly

heartwarming scientists evaluated 3,682

adults over a 10-year period even after

taking major cardiovascular risk factors

such as age body fat smoking blood

pressure diabetes and cholesterol into

account married men had a 46% lower rate

of death than unmarried men men benefit

from Marriage more than women do and

that's why men asterisk have to con

women into believing that they the men

are the ones who gatekeep commitment

that they the men are the ones who

gatekeep marriage they have to con women

into believe in that they the men are

the ones who gatekeep marriage as

reverse psychology to make women want to

marry them and we already talked about

that in a past class so check it out

they have created this culture to

ingrain in women the fantasy of a

wedding to mask the harsh realities of

marriage to a below bare Minal effort

man okay when research consistently

shows that men tend to benefit more from

Marriage than women do particularly in

areas like physical health mental

well-being and Longevity and apparently

married men experience lower mortality

rates better health outcomes and greater

emotional support compared to their

unmarried counterparts you know why it's

because women encourage healthy

behaviors and promote stability in

marriage and what do we get on top of

the Baseline benefits of being married

women take on the emotional labor and

physical labor and caregiving

responsibilities not just for their

husbands but also for their children and

also both sets of Aging parents and

various other relatives no wonder widows

don't get remarried and I also saw this

Tik Tok about how you don't really see

women having secret second families and

it's because women are the ones who run

the household running one household

already takes up so much time like

imagine having a secret second one too

like the gusp I gusp I was like like if

men actually ran the household they

wouldn't have enough energy to start a

second one especially a secret second

one and I also saw this video and I

can't play it but maybe I'll show you a

picture of it and then you can find it

it's basically this mom getting out of

the car with like two tote bags she's

also carrying like a baby and like a

carrier in front of her and she was

getting her toddler out of the car and

her husband just like toddles along

playing on his phone that's all he was

carrying just his phone and this lady

had two tote bags a baby and is getting

the toddler out of the car and guess

what happens the lady starts to fall

back and kind of like knocks over her

toddler like the toddler is fine

but it just encapsulates how like women

take on majority of the labor literally

the physical labor of running a family

like this man couldn't even help her

with one item all he was carrying was

his phone and then when the mother

knocks over the toddler guess who feels

bad the mother people could say that

nobody told her to do all that nobody

told her to do all that but she still

had to do all that okay so annoying like

this man was was literally no thoughts

just Vibes you know waddling out of his

car getting in the house and leaving

everything else to his wife okay like

ma'am your husband hates you and I don't

take joy in telling women that it's

actually sad but we're done giving men

excuses okay we're done giving the born

leaders the heads of household excuses

okay they're not dumb they're not

clueless they really 100% meant to do

whatever they did to you they did that

on purpose because they don't like you

your husband hates you your boyfriend

hates you that's why he does those

things to you so can we stop being with

men who hate us okay if he enjoys seeing

you suffer and actually manufactures

even more suffering for you he hates you

if he doesn't alleviate your workload

your stress your anxiety he hates you he

loves to see you all rattled and

stressed and tired and exhausted he gets

off on that he hates you if your life is

even more tiring more exhausting more

draining in all the aspects spirit

spiritually physically mentally

financially he's not the one he hates

you okay men are supposed to make your

life easier not harder that's literally

the point of partnership like if you

were to start a business why would you

partner with someone who isn't making

the business easier is it making the

business bigger okay it's the same thing

partnership relationships marriage isn't

for the Instagram likes the Tik Tok

likes oh look at me I found a good one

men are not status symbols okay like a

man should make your life easier Point

Blank period Speaking of men who make

your life easier let's watch this video

this seems like common sense but I'm

going to say anyways I'm not lucky that

I have a good husband I have a good

husband because I married a good man

people keep commenting on my Tik Tok

that I'm lucky I have such a good

husband I'm lucky that he puts up with

this blah blah blah luck didn't have

anything to do with it I mean he was a

good man when we were

dating so I married him

good men turn into good

husbands bad boyfriends don't make good

husbands I knew when I was dating Kaden

that he would be a great husband and a

great father so I chose to marry him and

then bear his children it wasn't luck it

wasn't like no coin flip I knew who he

was and I knew I wanted to build a life

with him somebody commented that her

partner would strangle her if he acted

if she acted like I did and it was

like you should get a new partner

exactly like he hates you get a new

partner you can do better and I know we

like to talk about lucky girl this lucky

girl that type of stuff but there's

Nuance okay like it's okay to feel

blessed to have such a great partner it

really is amazing but it's not only luck

it's also discernment okay it's knowing

that someone who is in a great boyfriend

probably would make an even worse

husband it's time we start holding men

to the same standards that we hold

ourselves to it's time to realize your

great power as a woman you gatekeep

everything not them you gatekeep

relations you gatekeep commitment you

gatekeep the Next Generation you

gatekeep their literal survival and it's

time you start acting like it bestie

wake up

[Music]