How to Speak so That People Want to Listen - Julian Treasure

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the power of the human voice in communication, highlighting the lack of formal education in speaking and listening skills. They discuss the impact of context on communication and the importance of effective speaking in personal and professional life. The talk identifies four 'leeches' that detract from powerful speaking and contrasts them with the four foundations of 'HAIL': honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love. The speaker also explores various vocal tools and techniques to enhance speech, such as posture, breath control, and the use of silence, advocating for conscious listening and speaking to foster better communication.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ The human voice is a powerful tool capable of starting wars or expressing love, yet it is often undervalued and not formally taught as a communication instrument.
• 🏫 There is a significant disparity in the education system's focus on teaching reading and writing versus speaking and listening skills, with the latter often being neglected.
• 🌐 In the digital age, communication has shifted towards text-based formats like email and social media, which diminish the importance of oral communication and listening.
• 🔍 The speaker emphasizes the importance of context in communication, noting that it is often overlooked but plays a crucial role in effective speaking and listening.
• 💡 The speaker introduces a model of human communication, highlighting the complexity of sending and receiving messages and the need for conscious effort in both.
• 🚫 The 'seven deadly sins' of speaking, which include gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, excuses, exaggeration, and dogma, are behaviors that can undermine the power of one's speech.
• 🔑 The speaker identifies 'HAIL' (Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Love) as the four foundations for powerful speaking, suggesting that these qualities can enhance the impact of communication.
• 🎼 The script discusses the 'vocal toolbox,' including aspects like posture, breath, register, and volume, which are essential for effective speaking but often go untaught.
• 🔄 The speaker suggests that understanding and adjusting one's speaking style to the listening environment can greatly improve communication effectiveness.
• 🤔 The importance of being aware of one's own communication style and the listening environment is highlighted, as well as the need for conscious effort in both speaking and listening.
• 🌟 The script concludes with a call to action for more conscious communication, suggesting that by paying attention to how we speak and listen, we can create a world where sound works for us rather than against us.

Q & A

What are the four communication modes mentioned in the script?

The four communication modes mentioned are talking, listening, reading, and writing.

Why is it considered a tragedy if a child leaves school unable to read or write, but not if they are unable to speak effectively?

It is considered a tragedy because of the societal emphasis on literacy, but effective speaking is often overlooked despite its importance in communication.

What is the speaker's main focus in the script regarding communication?

The speaker's main focus is on the sending end of communication, specifically the importance of effective speaking in various contexts.

What does the speaker suggest about the modern communication protocols like email and text messaging?

The speaker suggests that modern communication protocols tend to promote personal broadcasting rather than genuine conversation, which can hinder effective listening and speaking.

How does the speaker describe the importance of voice recognition and speech synthesis technologies?

The speaker highlights that these technologies are becoming increasingly important, indicating a future where conversation and listening will be more valued.

What are the 'seven deadly sins' of speaking as mentioned in the script?

The 'seven deadly sins' are gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, excuses, exaggeration, and dogma, which can diminish the power of one's speech.

What is the emotional base that the speaker identifies as the root of the 'seven deadly sins' of speaking?

The emotional base is fear, which can lead to behaviors that undermine the power of one's speech.

What are the four 'leeches' on powerful speaking that the speaker discusses?

The four 'leeches' are the desire to look good, being right, people pleasing, and fixing, which can detract from the effectiveness of one's speech.

What is the acronym 'HAIL' stand for in the context of the script?

HAIL stands for Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love, which are the four foundations for powerful speaking.

What are some of the vocal tools the speaker suggests considering for effective speaking?

The vocal tools include posture, breath, register, tambor (texture of voice), pace, pitch, prosody, volume, and silence.

How does the speaker define 'semantics' in the context of communication barriers?

Semantics refers to misunderstandings that can occur due to language or cultural differences, which can hinder effective communication.

What is the speaker's suggestion for dealing with strong emotions during communication?

The speaker suggests that listening can help diffuse strong emotions, as there is an inverse relationship between listening and being upset.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Power of Human Voice in Communication

The speaker emphasizes the human voice as a powerful tool for communication, capable of starting wars or expressing love. They discuss the four communication modes taught in schools: sending, receiving, eyes, and ears. The speaker argues that society and education systems undervalue oral communication, often overlooking the importance of teaching how to speak and listen effectively. They highlight the irony that illiteracy is a scandal, yet ineffective speaking is not addressed, despite its impact on personal and professional life. The speaker introduces a model of human communication, noting the complexity and context of communication, which is often overlooked.

05:00

🔍 The Dark Side of Speaking: Common Pitfalls

This paragraph delves into the 'dark side' of communication, identifying four 'leeches' on powerful speaking: competitiveness, the need to be right, people-pleasing, and a 'fixer' mentality. These behaviors stem from fear and diminish the power of one's speech. The speaker humorously refers to these as 'seven deadly sins' of speaking, urging the audience to be aware of these pitfalls to avoid diminishing the impact of their communication. They also suggest that these behaviors are not to be completely banned but to be used mindfully.

10:02

📚 Avoiding Communication Pitfalls: The Seven Deadly Sins

The speaker expands on the 'seven deadly sins' of communication, which include gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, excuses, exaggeration, and dogma. These sins are seen as destructive to effective communication and trust. The speaker provides examples and suggests that these behaviors can be minimized to enhance the power of one's speech. They also introduce the idea of 'danger words' that can detract from the message being conveyed, advising the audience to be mindful of their language choices.

15:05

🌟 The Foundations of Powerful Speaking: HAIL

The speaker outlines the 'light side' of communication, presenting the four foundations of powerful speaking: Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love (HAIL). They explain that honesty involves clear and straightforward speech, authenticity means being true to oneself, integrity is about being reliable and keeping one's word, and love, in this context, refers to kindness and well-wishing. The speaker suggests that standing on these foundations makes communication more powerful and well-received.

20:06

🎙️ Vocal Toolbox: Enhancing the Art of Speaking

The speaker explores the 'vocal toolbox,' discussing various tools to enhance the effectiveness of speech. They mention posture, breath control, vocal register, and richness of voice as important aspects of powerful speaking. The speaker advises on the use of chest register for depth, the importance of dynamic breathing to control nerves, and the avoidance of vocal fry. They also touch on the elements of pace, pitch, prosody, volume, and the strategic use of silence to make a speech more engaging and impactful.

25:09

👂 Conscious Listening: The Key to Effective Communication

In this paragraph, the speaker shifts focus to the importance of conscious listening in communication. They discuss the concept of 'speaking into a listening' and how body language can indicate the type of listening one is encountering. The speaker identifies potential roadblocks to effective communication, such as semantics, assumptions, generalizations, and strong emotions. They suggest that listening can help diffuse emotions and improve the reception of messages, advocating for a more conscious approach to both speaking and listening to foster better communication.

🤔设计师的洞察力与沟通意识

The speaker engages with the audience, particularly designers, discussing how some people are more attuned to their environment and may notice details that others overlook, such as kerning in typography. They reflect on the balance between instinctual awareness and learned knowledge in communication. The speaker suggests that much of effective communication is about being conscious and aware, especially in a world filled with distractions. They emphasize the importance of listening and how it can transform one's engagement with the environment and with others.

Keywords

💡Communication Modes

Communication Modes refer to the different methods through which information is exchanged. In the script, the speaker discusses the four primary modes: verbal, non-verbal, visual, and auditory. These modes are central to the video's theme as they represent the various ways humans convey and receive messages, with a focus on the undervalued importance of oral communication and listening.

💡Oral Communication

Oral Communication is the act of expressing thoughts, feelings, and ideas through spoken language. The script emphasizes the lack of emphasis on teaching oral communication skills in schools and society, pointing out that while illiteracy is considered a tragedy, being unable to speak effectively is often overlooked. The video's theme revolves around the power and importance of improving oral communication.

💡Listening

Listening is the process of receiving and interpreting spoken language. The script mentions that children are not taught how to listen effectively, which is a significant oversight since listening is a crucial part of communication. The video's theme highlights the need for conscious listening and the importance of being an active listener in various contexts.

💡Context

Context refers to the circumstances or setting in which something occurs. The script points out that communication, including speaking and listening, always happens within a certain context that can affect the effectiveness of the message. The theme of the video involves recognizing the importance of context in communication and how it influences the way messages are perceived.

💡Voice Recognition

Voice Recognition is a technology that enables devices to understand and respond to spoken language. The script mentions the billions being spent on voice recognition and speech synthesis, indicating a future where speaking and listening will become even more integral to our interactions with technology. This concept ties into the video's theme by forecasting a resurgence in the importance of oral communication.

💡Personal Broadcasting

Personal Broadcasting is a term used in the script to describe the modern trend of sharing information without expecting a response, as seen in social media posts or text messages. This behavior contrasts with actual conversation and undermines the importance of listening. The video's theme critiques this mode of communication, advocating for a more engaged and reciprocal form of dialogue.

💡Speaking Powerfully

Speaking Powerfully is the ability to articulate thoughts and ideas in a clear, convincing, and influential manner. The script discusses the importance of being able to express oneself effectively and the negative impacts of not being able to do so, such as feelings of frustration and being unheard. The video's theme encourages the development of powerful speaking skills to enhance personal and professional communication.

💡Leeches on Powerful Speaking

Leeches on Powerful Speaking are behaviors or attitudes that detract from the effectiveness of one's speech. The script identifies four such 'leeches': the desire to look good, being right, people-pleasing, and fixing. These behaviors stem from fear and diminish the power of one's speech. The video's theme uses this concept to highlight behaviors that should be avoided for effective communication.

💡Conscious Listening

Conscious Listening is the intentional and focused act of receiving and interpreting spoken language. The script briefly mentions a TED talk by the speaker on this topic, emphasizing the importance of being present and attentive to the speaker. The theme of the video includes the concept of conscious listening as a critical component of effective communication that enhances understanding and empathy.

💡Vocal Toolbox

The Vocal Toolbox is a metaphor for the various elements that contribute to effective speaking, such as posture, breath, register, and pace. The script delves into these tools, advising how they can be used to enhance the power and impact of one's speech. The video's theme incorporates the idea of the vocal toolbox to encourage speakers to be mindful of these elements in order to communicate more effectively.

💡SOFTEN

SOFTEN is an acronym introduced in the script for effective communication, standing for Smile, Open posture, Forward lean, Touch, Eye contact, and Nodding. These non-verbal cues can help to establish rapport and show engagement with the speaker. The video's theme incorporates SOFTEN as part of the broader message on the importance of being an active and responsive listener.

Highlights

The human voice is a powerful tool that can start wars or express love, yet we are not taught how to use it effectively.

There are four communication modes: sending, receiving, speaking, and listening, but they are not equally valued in society or education.

Children are leaving schools unable to speak effectively, despite the importance of oral communication.

A model of human communication is presented, emphasizing the complexity and context of sending and receiving messages.

Modern communication methods like email and texting are not sound media and promote a broadcasting rather than a conversational approach.

Billions are spent on voice recognition and synthesis, indicating the growing importance of sound communication in technology.

Ineffective speaking often occurs due to lack of training and people not listening, highlighting the need for conscious listening.

The 'dark side' of speaking includes competitive speaking, being right, people pleasing, and fixing, which all stem from fear.

The 'seven deadly sins' of speaking are gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, excuses, exaggeration, and dogma.

Danger words like 'should', 'only', 'just', 'but', and 'I mean' can diminish the power of speech and should be used cautiously.

The four foundations of powerful speaking are honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love, forming the acronym 'HAIL'.

The throat and breath are key components of the voice, and proper posture can significantly affect vocal power.

Breathing techniques can help manage nerves and stabilize the voice during presentations.

Understanding vocal registers, such as chest register for powerful speech, can enhance communication.

Tambor, pace, pitch, prosody, volume, and silence are all tools in the vocal toolbox that can be used to improve speech.

The importance of clean questions and avoiding roadblocks like 'but' and 'why' in communication is discussed.

Listening is crucial for effective communication, and being aware of one's own and others' listening styles can improve understanding.

Roadblocks to listening include semantics, assumptions, generalizations, and strong emotions, which can be mitigated by conscious listening.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of both sending and receiving communication consciously for better understanding.

Transcripts

thank you so much herb let's talk about

talking have a listen to this to

infinity and the eye I'll be back you

cannot be serious

your big plan Oh James Bond frankly my

dear I don't give a damn and we are

ready to lead once more poopy - may the

force be with you

yes the human voice possibly the most

powerful sound on the planet it's the

only sound that can start a war or say I

love you it's the instrument that we all

play and yet not an instrument that

we're actually taught how to use here

are the four communication modes that we

use in schools or elsewhere that we're

taught to send to receive tour for their

eyes tour for the ears I've presented

them here with roughly equal weight but

that's not the way we treat them in

school it's not the way we treat them in

society and it's not actually the way we

treat them in the digital world very

much either I think it's rather more

like this isn't it

when you think about it it would be a

tragedy a scandal if a child left school

in the UK unable to read or write there

would be questions in the house and yet

children are leaving school every single

day unable to speak effectively and

certainly we never teach children how to

listen now today I'd like to focus on

the sending end of this here's a simple

model of human human communication now

over the last 12 years as herb suggested

I've been working with brands helping

them to consider the sound they're

making because it occurred to me the

world is very noisy and most of that

noises made by organizations who don't

think about it and I hope will make you

a dent in that along the way what's

become clear to me is that we don't

think about sound communication very

much at all and this sending and

receiving is not as simple as it appears

first of all it all happens in a context

which we rarely think about and secondly

as I said we simply don't value oral

communication we don't teach it very

much we don't think about it very much

and if you think about it again

most of the modern communication

protocols that we've invented in the

last 20 or 30 years for the eyes email

text instant messaging tweeting these

are not sound media and they do tend to

put us into a mode of as Eddie said

earlier personal broadcasting

I'm on the train who cares really

this is broadcasting there's not a

listening in that it's not a

conversation and yet for all of you who

are actually in the digital domain and

thinking about technology this is going

to become increasingly important there

are billions being spent right now on

voice recognition and speech synthesis

or is it the other way around I can

never remember speech recognition and

voice synthesis possibly we're going to

be talking to devices possibly through

some sort of a personal avatar and the

conversation is going to come back

listening is going to come back these

things are going to be more important in

the future there's a lovely sound we're

all very familiar with now I put up here

the simple model actually what this

plays out in in the real world as is

ineffective speaking because we're not

taught how to do it to people who are

basically not listening very much yeah

I'm listening to you I am yeah you know

that one I have a whole TED talk about

conscious listening I'm not going to

talk about the listening side today I am

going to talk about the speaking side

and a little bit about the context for

it which very often is not a room that's

set up like this to be perfect it's a

noisy place with bad acoustics where

we're challenged in the sending now this

is important because it affects three

things three marginally important things

if you care about any of these three

things the ability to express yourself

powerfully is very very significant it

can affect how well you feel because

it's frustrating if you can't get your

point across a lot of people have the

experience of when they're speaking just

not being listened to

what's the most common complaint in

relationships he or she doesn't listen

to me

so speaking powerfully we have to take

responsibility for it's not just the

listening we'll come back to that let me

start with the dark side of the equation

things that you might want to pay

attention to things that robbed you of

power in your speaking if you lead

people or you want to have an influence

in the world these are things you might

want to avoid and I want to preface this

by saying these are not going to be

things I I suggest you banned from your

life maybe

two of them they're just things if you

do them a lot the power gets diminished

now they all come from I think for what

I call leeches on powerful speaking here

are the four leeches and these may be

things that you recognize things that

you've come across before people love

these things we all love to look good

don't we and a lot of our talking is

actually about looking good being

impressive have you come across people

who do for example competitive speaking

I went to Greece this year on holiday oh

yeah I've been degrees seven times oh

it's a bit of a joy kill isn't it that

is coming from wanting to look good

if there's one thing we adore more than

looking good it's being right and that

tends to lead to all sorts of very

definitive dogmatic responses people

pleasing saying things in order to be

liked and finally fixing a fixer is

somebody for whom it's not okay for

anybody to be upset don't be don't cry

don't be upset let's find a solution

sometimes people need to be upset now

all four of these things come from one

emotional base can you guess what that

is I've heard two people say it

absolutely that's where they come from

and if you're speaking comes out of fear

it does rob you of power and it tends to

get expressed in what in my TED talk on

conscience on powerful speaking I called

seven deadly sins now that is a joke

ladies and gentlemen I'm not saying

these are deadly sins and I want to

repeat I'm not saying don't do them I'll

try and qualify them for you as I go

through because I've got a bit more time

than I did on that occasion here's the

first of the deadly sins gossip by

gossip what I mean is speaking ill of

somebody who's not present so it's not

gossip to say isn't it lovely they're

getting married now

it's gossip to say did you see what he

was wearing this morning that kind of

gossip it's very seductive we all like

to indulge in it but you know perfectly

well that if you're listening to

somebody who's in a veteran gossip the

moment you walk away who are they going

to be glossing gossiping about it's you

isn't it now an interesting exercise

that I could commend to you if you want

to take

is to abstain from gossip for a day try

a day when you start thinking about it

you can't read newspapers you can't read

magazines you can't enjoy enjoy

broadcast media at all because a vast

amount of what we consume is actually

gossip if you make gossip punishable by

death the world would be a very quiet

place I would like to suggest it's a way

of speaking which is seductive and yet

not productive and if you indulge in it

a great deal people won't trust you then

there's judging I don't mean here

judgment has in discernment obviously

it's important to discern to unravel the

good from the bad the wheat from the

chaff what I mean here is condemning out

of hand have you ever had people around

you who are condemn Natori the whole

time blaming people condemning people

dismissing people it can be very tiring

to listen to somebody who's like that

third we have negativity my mother in

the last year's of her life became and

sadly very very negative and her

worldview was essentially everything's

awful so I took in a newspaper to her

and I said oh look it's October the 1st

today she said I know isn't it awful

well live October the 1st is awful what

hope have we got really now you may have

been around somebody who's that negative

all the time it's very tiring

debilitating to be around that I wonder

how negative or positive you are in your

speaking generally I can't do that no is

yes the most ready answer or is no then

we have the British national pastime

complaining now again I want to make

this clear if your food is cold in a

restaurant complain you can do something

about it I'm talking here about

complaining about things we can't do

anything about the weather which we do

in this country a great deal of the time

the government the sport if you can do

something do it if you can't do it

complaining is just viral misery let's

face it and then we have this guy we've

all met this guy we've all been this guy

excuses it wasn't my fault

as an alternative to that kind of

nonsense how about just say sorry this

is what I'm putting in place to make

sure it never happens again now let's

move on that's a clean way to move on

when you've made a mistake excuses just

get in the way and we've got

exaggeration now this could be slight

embroidery we do tend to use hyperbole a

great deal in our speech varies and

relays and fantasticks

as I often say to Americans how on earth

do you describe a sunset now if a pair

of trainers is awesome what is a sunset

that word has been lost to them

fortunately not so much in this country

but let's keep it for those special

moments it's another very interesting

exercise if you want to take it on to

have a day of saying exactly what you

mean no hyperbole no exaggeration

certainly no embroidery I mean have any

of you ever claimed you've read a book

you haven't read oh yeah Solzhenitsyn

yeah he's very interesting isn't he yes

I think we've all done that one that

little personal aggrandizement it can

get very seductive and it's a slippery

slope and finally we have Dogma my way

or the highway

table thumping the confusion of opinions

with facts I have a suggestion on

opinions which is that they should be

offered by requests only by invitation

only would you like my opinion on that

No

oh it's a little bit depressing isn't it

because we do love to offer our opinion

at every opportunity I grew up in a

house where opinions and facts were

confused and that's not a great place to

be because there's a great deal of table

thumping in that situation they're not

the same thing opinions and facts let's

differentiate between them now let me

give you a few danger words before I

come on to the light side these are

words which again if you use them in

conversation might just start to ring an

alarm bell after this it's a good thing

if they do here's the first one now I've

actually banned this word for my

vocabulary altogether I can't think of a

single positive use of this word if I

use it about myself then I'm beating

myself up for not doing something that I

should be doing if I use it about you

you should really lose some weight whoa

that's kind of setting myself up as

superior and judgmental and you won't

like it very much there are many

alternatives to the word should I will

or I feel as though I should that's

interesting that's interesting is a very

useful phrase to use here so that maybe

one that you want to think about

removing here's a seemingly innocent

word that takes a lot of power away in

our speaking I'm not talking about the

adjective which is a great word I'm

talking about the the specific adverbial

use of only merely she's just a child

minimizing I'll I'll just have one more

we will know that one minimizing try

these on for size I just like to start

with some housekeeping announcements

rewind I'd like to start with some

housekeeping announcements which ones

more powerful in the first one I was

apologizing without saying it was not

just it says a small thing do you mind

if I just do this it's it's in there a

lot in our speaking maybe pay attention

to that one and finally this one you can

almost always replace this with the word

and I like you but are you going to

listen to what went before the word but

I don't think so but is a road blocking

conversation it tends to be that we pay

attention to what comes after it because

that's the juicy bad bit we are

committed to customer service but we're

not gonna do anything obviously how

about changing that I like you and okay

we can go with that we're committed to

customer service and for you we can do

this very small thing so it's almost

always possible to replace that try it

in your emails it makes a big difference

now let's move on to the positive side

the force there are four foundations I

think too powerful speaking and those

four foundations spell a word the word

is hail which one definition of hail is

to greet or acclaim enthusiastically

which is how I suggest your

communication will be received if you

stand in these four things they stand

for

H

honesty that is just being straight and

clear in your speaking not prevaricate

in trying to avoid using corporate

jargon I don't know about you I have a

particular problem with the word provide

these days so let's try and errect and

clear on our speaking the a is

authenticity being yourself no need to

pretend

generally it's far more powerful to be

yourself and to be fully yourself when

you're speaking to people whether it's

one-to-one or an audience of thousands

the eye is integrity integrity means

being your word if people know about you

that if you say it it happens

your words are very powerful indeed on

the other hand if you say you'll be

there and you'll never there people

develop a very cynical listening for

your promises the L surprisingly perhaps

is love now I don't mean romantic love

here obviously I'm talking about well

wishing just wishing people well it's

sometimes necessarily to temper the

complete honesty that I'm suggesting my

goodness you look awful this morning I'm

not necessary to actually to say that so

love is kindness and it tempers the

whole conversation hail is a very

powerful place to stand and if you're

standing on those four things people can

recognize where you're coming from and

it's much more powerful now let's talk

about something which you may not know

you have you have this amazing

instrument in your throat there's a

combination of throat and breath of

course and we don't teach people how to

use it so I just want to have a rummage

in your vocal toolbox and particularly I

want to play to pull out eight tools

which you may want to consider in future

speaking here's the first one you may be

surprised that that's a vocal tool but

it is very much partly the way you stand

it's good to keep it relatively neutral

and not to have fidgets onstage and so

forth if you're talking to a group and

also your posture can indicate a lot

about how engaged you around the

conversation it's also very important

where your neck is as you can hear if I

do this with my neck my voice gets

affected on the other hand if I do this

with my neck

gets affected too if you want to speak

powerfully you need to give your vocal

cords no strain no stress and the

ability to work really well second we've

got breath well it's the fuel for the

voice of course the voice is only breath

incidentally if any of you ever have

nerves when you are presenting to more

than one person or even when you're

talking to one person will you marry me

you know we will get a bit nervous at

that point breathing is the best way to

defer those nerves and stop the voice

King like this you know this is what

happens to us would be nerve because

we're breathing like a bird here a deep

voice a deep breath and your voice

suddenly becomes much more stable you

can practice dynamic breathing your

stomach should come out in through the

mouth out through the nose we do very

little breathing actually as we move

around it's surprising we can talk well

at all

register let's talk about register there

are four registers the whistle register

is the highest that's Mariah Carey you

can do the whistle register I don't

suggest this is very worth practicing

it's not tremendously useful in your

daily life one down from the whistle

register we have a falsetto you may know

falsetto this is falsetto when you

change gear again not while the useful

in business conversations I would

suggest or in presentations although it

is used a lot in music

so Chris Martin from Coldplay uses

falsetto a great deal that many bands do

it's a very attractive sound when

singing not so much when you're trying

to talk powerfully to people however

okay let's move down to another one the

modal register this is where we do most

of our talking from and it covers

everything from the nose up here if I

speak in my nose can you hear the

difference right down through the throat

if I talk in my throat you can hear that

down too talking from the chest which is

a much bigger resonator we vote for

politicians with deeper voices did you

know that research is showing kotori's

paribus of course we tend to associate

depth with size and size with importance

so if you want to speak in power it's

really worth practicing getting down

into your chest register now this may be

cultural a lot of cultures speak from up

here in the head but you can do it with

practice you don't want to speak like

duce it can be a bit weird just practice

if you want to really work on this go to

a voice coach and they'll get you down

into your chest register there is one

lower register than the chest it's

called vocal fry' and i used to say not

used very much sounds like this yeah I

don't know what happened to him but it

sound yeah that kind of thing sadly it

is used a great deal now yeah we're

really stoked about this idea it's

really cool ah this is awesome

largely by Americans I have to say but

it's coming more and more into this

country and if you tend to speak like

this do try to engage your vocal cords

first of all it's not very good for your

voice and secondly it's not an engaging

way to speak you lose so much of the

power and the richness of your voice by

speaking that way talking about richness

let's talk for a moment about Tambor

Tambor is the texture of a voice we tend

to prefer voices which are we described

in the same way we describe hot

chocolate rich warm smooth dark and so

forth let me talk about pace and pitch

you can get very excited going very very

fast or slow right down to make it point

you can change your excitement just with

pitch where did you leave my keys where

did you leave my keys different emphasis

altogether then we got pros oddly the

sing song of voice I love pros oddly

monotonous comes from the idea of

speaking in

tone monotonous is exactly that it's

very boring so proceeding is route one

for emotion and finally penultimately we

have volume getting very loud to make a

point or we separate which can also be

very powerful and finally we've got

silence nothing wrong with a bit of

silence you don't have to fill it with

arms and earth not necessary you can use

it as your friend most people don't use

it well

now if you have seen my TED talk on

conscious listening I used a metaphor a

short mnemonic for communication receive

appreciate summarize ask for good

communication two of these steps

actually involves speaking summarize the

word so I want to form a society for the

preservation of the word so it actually

means therefore therefore so if you had

a so person in a meeting so this is what

we've all agreed now we can move on to

that if you don't have a so person it

can be a very long meeting indeed and it

does mean therefore and it's getting

abused particularly in tech circles

what's your name so I'm John I'm sorry I

don't get the therefore bit is that only

because I asked you perhaps

so let's try and preserve it for what

it's good at and then you were asking

open-ended questions are good have you

come across clean questions what did you

have for breakfast that's a clean

question what do you have for breakfast

do you have the eggs or the sausages

that's what we tend to do offering

little suggestions practice clean

questions and sometimes beware of the

question why it can be taken quite

toughing why didn't you do that that can

be taken as a criticism finally I just

want to give you a couple of pointers

first of all the concept of a listening

and then roadblocks to listening to

speaking being received you always speak

into a listening what do I mean by that

well this audience right here right now

has got a listening for me and I can

tell what it is by looking at you you

can tell it always by little micro body

language this is a perfectly good

listening we're seeing here they are all

looking pretty enthusiastic aren't

this on the other hand perhaps would

give us some warning signs so body

language can give it away how do you

spot a listening you just pay attention

you ask yourself what listening am i

speaking in to it's a huge mistake to

think everybody listens like I do we all

have individual listings and every

audience has an individual listening let

me just cover a couple of buttons and

triggers bulbs and bombs these are

obstacles to getting your message across

we all have buttons that get pushed

things that we don't like and if you're

not aware of that in somebody else you

can innocently say something which can

really upset them and we also can insert

little barbs count me and I loved one

conversations we need to put that little

dig in there or even drop a huge bomb

into a conversation which is completely

terminal for it here are four things

which tend to get in the way of

communication in that way semantics

simply misunderstanding that can be very

big cross-cultural cross language we can

really misunderstand people can't we

making assumptions about your listening

or you making assumptions about what I'm

saying

and we're out what I mean

generalizations taking one data point

extrapolating it off into the

stratosphere with when we start using

words like always and never and those

tend to wind up emotions now emotions

are wonderful things I'm not saying

don't have emotions if they get very

strong particularly their negative then

they can really interfere with the

communication process and we all know

that for when we're absolutely enraged

in an argument what tends to diffuse

emotions is listening I would suggest

there's an inverse relationship between

listening and being upset the more I

listen to you the less upset you'll

become the more you listen to me the

less upset I become and so forth so if

we put some of these principles into

practice and are sending I can't

guarantee people are going to listen

perfectly but I would say you will have

a much better chance of being received

fully and we turn this situation much

more into this where you're speaking

consciously and perhaps you can ask

people to listen consciously in perhaps

a room that's better designed we take

ourselves off to a place that's better

designed and then we have a

world where sound actually is working

for us instead of against us and I think

that's a world that's worth striving for

thank you very much indeed for your

attention today sorry this is it one

question quick one I know we're running

a time but so occasionally we have

designers as featured speakers and one

of the things that I've noticed about

people who are designs they just see

stuff in the environment that I just I

just totally blank on right so they will

come and complain to me that the spacing

on these letters the kerning is what

they call it isn't quite right or

whatever might be and so I guess what

I'm wondering about is for all this

stuff well I love our talk is there's so

much if what I call hidden in plain

sight stuff if you all write that once

you become aware of it you go oh yeah

right golly of course how much of this

is just instinctual like stuff that just

you naturally have noticed and have

built up this body of knowledge and how

much of it is learned how much of the

stuff that you've studied and kind of

you know summarized and sort of brought

together

I would guess about 70/30 and what

instinctual or perceived to learn and

there are books out there on speaking

and on listening and they cover parts of

the story but to be honest I think this

actually is a conversation about

consciousness it's about awareness you

know we are so unconscious you heard it

from Eddie you've heard it from Conrad

we've got this tidal wave of stuff

coming at us all the time and it just

sends us into a kind of zombie state

where we're not really paying much

attention and if we pay attention to the

sound around us then we can be much

healthier because we spend a lot of time

in environments which are not great you

know don't get me started on open-plan

offices when you're trying to

concentrate for example or the sound in

hospitals how does anybody get well in

there for goodness sake not to mention

the sound in schools where millions of

kids are leaving education having not

heard it at all you know we obsess about

sending education we never ask is it

being received and that is a major

problem with acoustics in school rooms

so a lot of it is just just a lot of it

is and I do use this advisedly

it is a minimizing it just listening you

know you start listening then everything

else opens out it's like turning up the

cutter on a TV set to engage your ears

and actually it's a wonderful sense once

you start to use it and then you can

start to think about how you're sending

as well sorry Julia thank you so much

thank you what will happen

you