[YTP] BILLY DOESN'T CARE ANYMORE

cs188
22 Mar 202407:02

Summary

TLDRThe video script is a chaotic, darkly humorous parody featuring a character reminiscent of Billy Mays, known for his enthusiastic infomercials. It includes absurd and offensive scenarios, such as promoting a product called 'The Un-Alive Switch™' and using inappropriate language and actions to shock viewers. The script is filled with over-the-top, nonsensical product endorsements and bizarre situations designed to provoke a reaction, all delivered in a style that mocks traditional infomercials.

Takeaways

  • 😃 The script features a parody of Billy Mays, known for his enthusiastic infomercial style.
  • 😡 The script contains aggressive and profane language, deviating from typical sales pitches.
  • 👕 It humorously addresses the frustration of clothes not drying properly and the repetitive process of drying them.
  • 🤬 The script uses strong language to mock a hypothetical user's lack of understanding or competence.
  • 🚫 It contains a scene with an inappropriate suggestion of cleaning with a paint roller and a screwdriver, which is shocking and absurd.
  • 💀 The script mentions Billy Mays' death in a flippant manner, showing disregard for sensitivity.
  • 🔫 There are violent and graphic images, such as shooting people and leaving a trail of bodies.
  • 🚚 The script suggests running over someone's feet with a tractor trailer, indicating a dark and twisted sense of humor.
  • 🐶 It includes a scene where a dog defecates in a washer, followed by a suggestion to get rid of the dog and get a cat instead.
  • 🎵 The script ends with a bizarre musical interlude featuring a song with explicit lyrics.

Q & A

  • What is the tone of the video script presented?

    -The tone of the video script is highly sarcastic, provocative, and filled with dark humor, which is evident through the exaggerated and offensive language used.

  • What does the script imply about the character of Billy Mays?

    -The script implies that the character of Billy Mays is portrayed in a satirical and extreme manner, far from his actual persona, suggesting a posthumous and rebellious figure who is unapologetically offensive and outrageous.

  • What is the 'Un-Alive Switch™' mentioned in the script?

    -The 'Un-Alive Switch™' is a fictional product mentioned in the script, which is humorously described as a device that instantly ends one's life, playing on the absurdity of the concept.

  • What is the purpose of the script's mention of 'paint roller' and 'screwdriver' in the context of personal hygiene?

    -The script uses the 'paint roller' and 'screwdriver' as absurd tools for personal hygiene in a mocking and shocking manner, emphasizing the grotesque and inappropriate nature of the suggestions.

  • What is the significance of the repeated phrase 'Bend over, bend over, BEND OVER' in the script?

    -The repeated phrase 'Bend over, bend over, BEND OVER' is used to create a sense of urgency and command, further emphasizing the script's provocative and shocking content.

  • What does the script suggest about the state of the world in 2024?

    -The script sarcastically suggests that the world in 2024 is in a state of chaos and decline, using the character's viewpoint to comment on societal issues in an exaggerated way.

  • What is the implication of the line 'Everyone who uses my bathroom has died from the unbelievable smell!'?

    -This line is a hyperbolic statement meant to shock and amuse, implying that the bathroom is in an extremely poor state, and it is used to drive home the script's dark humor.

  • What is the role of the 'tractor trailer' in the script?

    -The 'tractor trailer' is mentioned as a means of causing harm in a twisted and darkly comedic way, emphasizing the script's disregard for safety and its shock value.

  • What is the significance of the various product references in the script?

    -The product references, such as 'HeadOn' and 'ordinary wiper blades,' are used satirically to mock the style of infomercials and to create a sense of absurdity within the script.

  • What does the script's ending suggest about the character's future endeavors?

    -The script's ending suggests that the character may continue to create content that pushes boundaries, but also acknowledges the need to adhere to platform policies and the unpredictability of creative inspiration.

Outlines

00:00

😃 Outrageous and Disturbing Sales Pitch

The first paragraph features a shocking and darkly humorous sales pitch reminiscent of Billy Mays, filled with expletives and inappropriate content. It starts with a sarcastic introduction to a product that supposedly dries clothes, but instead leaves them wet, followed by aggressive and insulting remarks directed at the audience. The script escalates into violent and macabre scenarios, including death, murder, and bodily harm, all delivered in a satirical and over-the-top manner. The paragraph also includes absurd product introductions like 'The Un-Alive Switch™' and ends with a chaotic and nonsensical series of events, including a loud explosion and a bizarre reference to 'HeadOn!'

05:01

😅 Bizarre and Inconsistent Sales Rant

The second paragraph continues the bizarre and disjointed narrative, starting with a seemingly normal sales pitch for wiper blades by Billy Mays, but quickly devolves into a nonsensical and chaotic series of statements. The content jumps from mundane activities to extreme and absurd situations, such as driving with a messy windshield, Tai Lopez's garage mishaps, and a series of strange and disturbing cleaning rituals. The paragraph also includes a plea for financial support, a commentary on content creation challenges, and ends with a series of odd and unrelated product references, including a sexual innuendo and an alien control device.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Un-Alive Switch™

The 'Un-Alive Switch™' is a fictional product mentioned in the script, symbolizing an extreme solution to the dissatisfaction with life. It humorously suggests a device that instantly ends one's life, which is a part of the video's dark humor theme. The concept is used to exaggerate the feeling of wanting to escape from the world's problems, as mentioned in the script, 'And you're gone... instantly!'

💡Retarded

The term 'retarded' is used in the script in a derogatory manner, which is considered offensive and inappropriate in most contexts. It is part of the script's shock value and is used to provoke a reaction from the audience. The script includes a line, 'RETARDED, or something!', which is followed by crowd gasps, indicating the controversial nature of the term.

💡Disastrous Biohazard Room

The phrase 'disastrous biohazard room' is used to describe a bathroom that has been transformed into a hazardous and chaotic space due to poor maintenance or extreme messiness. It is part of the video's theme of exaggerating everyday annoyances to a nightmarish level, as seen in the script, 'I can transform my bathroom, into a disastrous biohazard room, in no time!'

💡Pomeranian

A 'Pomeranian' is a breed of dog known for its small size and fluffy appearance. In the script, the term is used to create a contrast between the cuteness of the dog and the unpleasant situation where it defecates in a washer, 'But what do ya do when your cute little dog, sh*ts in the washer?', highlighting the absurdity of the scenario.

💡Cialis

'Cialis' is a medication used to treat erectile dysfunction. The script humorously exaggerates its use by suggesting taking '1 million Cialis pills', which is an unrealistic and comical scenario meant to evoke laughter through exaggeration and absurdity.

💡Germs

The concept of 'germs' is used in the script to create a sense of disgust and revulsion, particularly in the context of cleaning rituals. The script mentions 'intense germophobic scrubbing intensifies', which plays on the idea of an extreme reaction to the presence of germs, aligning with the video's theme of exaggeration.

💡Screwdriver

A 'screwdriver' is a tool typically used for driving screws into objects. In the script, it is humorously suggested as an alternative to toilet paper for personal hygiene, '...and just wipe your ass, with an ordinary screwdriver!', which is an absurd and shocking suggestion meant to provoke laughter.

💡Paint Roller

A 'paint roller' is a tool used in painting to apply paint evenly on surfaces. The script uses it in a bizarre context, suggesting using it for cleaning oneself after using the restroom, 'So *maybe*..., I'll do it for you with this paint roller', which is a part of the video's absurd humor.

💡Tai Lopez

'Tai Lopez' is a motivational speaker and entrepreneur who is known for his online presence and promotional videos. In the script, his name is mentioned in a distorted and humorous way, 'Tai Lopez: "Here in my g'rage"', which is part of the video's parody of motivational speakers.

💡Hardon

The term 'Hardon' seems to be a playful and incorrect spelling of 'hard-on', which is slang for an erection. The script uses it in a nonsensical and humorous context, 'HARDON, Apply directly to the erection!', which is part of the video's absurdist humor.

💡Jar

A 'jar' is a container with a wide mouth, typically used for storing food. The script humorously suggests that one should have no more 'sex' with a stubborn jar, which is a metaphor for struggling with the lid, 'No more sex, with that stubborn jar!', adding to the video's theme of absurdity.

Highlights

Billy Mays' energetic and controversial approach to advertising, using strong language and shocking statements to grab attention.

The introduction of the Un-Alive Switch™, a darkly humorous product that promises instant death as a solution to the woes of life.

The use of exaggerated scenarios, such as drying clothes repeatedly and the frustration it causes, to promote a product.

Billy Mays' candid commentary on the state of the world in 2024, suggesting a preference for being '6 feet under' rather than witnessing it.

The absurd suggestion of using a tractor trailer to run over someone's feet as a bizarre solution to being on one's feet all day.

The unexpected and graphic imagery of using a paint roller or screwdriver for personal hygiene, pushing the boundaries of what is considered acceptable in advertising.

The humorous and macabre idea of transforming a bathroom into a biohazard room with the implication of deadly smells.

The absurd advice of getting rid of a dog that misbehaves by suggesting the acquisition of a cat, only to follow with an equally absurd scenario involving cat urine.

The bizarre and graphic description of using one's boss's carpet to clean up a personal mess, with the immediate consequence of job loss.

The self-deprecating humor about the lack of inspiration for content creation and the struggle to stay within platform guidelines.

The creative use of music edits and song parodies, such as the 'Brick By Brick' rendition, to add a layer of entertainment to the content.

The explicit and over-the-top product demonstrations, like the exaggerated effects of taking 1 million Cialis pills.

The meta-commentary on the content creator's financial struggles and the direct appeal to the audience for support.

The surreal and disturbing imagery of a giant appendage stuck in a fence, adding to the overall chaotic tone of the content.

The satirical take on common household products, like wiper blades and garage cleaning, presented with a comedic twist.

The use of absurd and exaggerated sexual innuendos to promote products, pushing the limits of humor and discomfort.

The final note of absurdity with the 'HARDON' product, encapsulating the overall chaotic and surreal nature of the content.

Transcripts

play00:00

Just believe me

play00:01

Just watch the entire thing

play00:03

And you'll be dead in no time! 😃

play00:06

Hi, Billy Mays here with-

play00:09

...

play00:10

What the hell is this?

play00:12

WHAT THE F**K KINDA SH*T DO YOU HAVE ME DOING HERE ANYWAY

play00:17

You dry your clothes and they're wet

play00:19

You dry 'em again...

play00:20

and *finally* they're dry!

play00:23

So *maybe*...

play00:24

You did not dry your clothes enough the first time!

play00:27

You absolute moron!

play00:28

Do I have to f**king hold your hand through everything?!

play00:32

Maybe you're actually a little kid

play00:34

who doesn't know anything about real life

play00:37

or maybe you're just

play00:38

RETARDED

play00:39

or something!

play00:40

(crowd gasps)

play00:42

That's right!

play00:42

Billy Mays said

play00:44

the forbidden R word!

play00:46

Just get over it... who cares!

play00:48

I'm flipping off EVERYONE

play00:50

including your entire family!

play00:51

Because why the hell not?

play00:53

I have nothing to lose, because

play00:55

I've been 6 feet under the ground

play00:57

for over 14 godd*mn years!

play01:00

But ya know what?

play01:01

At least I don't have to

play01:03

watch the world go to hell

play01:05

in 2024!

play01:08

Tired of getting out of bed every morning

play01:10

just to be alive?

play01:11

Well let me show you how to take care of that...

play01:13

Introducing...

play01:14

The Un-Alive Switch™!

play01:16

And you're gone... instantly!

play01:19

But if you're still alive

play01:21

I'll put my hands around your throat

play01:23

and when you can't breathe anymore

play01:25

that means you are

play01:26

absolutely screwed!

play01:27

And when the cops are coming for me 🚨

play01:30

I'm gonna shoot everyone who gets in my way!

play01:33

And leave a path of

play01:34

dead bodies behind!

play01:35

You'll have to

play01:36

scrape them off the ground

play01:38

with a big giant spatula!

play01:41

Are you on your feet all day? 🦶

play01:43

Not anymore!

play01:44

I'm gonna run over your feet

play01:45

with this tractor trailer!

play01:47

Because that'll be really fun for me to watch!

play01:50

(my leg)

play01:51

Haaaaas thiiiiiis eeeeever haaaaappened to yoooUwUuuu?

play01:54

hh

play01:54

wuuuuUUUUU̷̗̥̫̒u̷̙̖̼̰̜͎͊͗̋̂́̀̌͋̚ͅu̶̖̲͈̇Ú̶̘̜̺̯̰̜̮̥̓̽̾̒͗Ų̸͍̯̋̉̓͘U̶͍͕̱̩͚̜̱͆̿͆U̵̥͍͍͔̣͍̥͌͛̎̿́̄U̶̘͇̻̭̞̍͆̓̅͊̈́͝Ṵ̵͖̖̳̤̊̚͠U̵̩̙̻͑̆̉̍̏̿́͆͝Ú̴̢͇͈̹͙̝̖̙͎̩Ụ̷̮̭̻͈̣̇̈̀̌͛͑́̎̕͘Ű̵͙̜̘̬̺̲̉͂̀

play01:55

💥(loud explosion) 💥 UH-OH!

play01:58

"HeadOn!"

play01:59

Young lady, thank you very much!

play02:01

(wavy audio) HaS tHiS eVeR HapPenNeD tO YoU?

play02:02

You're on a DRUG trip

play02:04

on the road

play02:05

far from home

play02:06

and when you need to wipe your

play02:08

giant smelly ass

play02:09

you just never wipe it? 🧻🚫

play02:12

"DON'T WIPE YA ASS!"

play02:15

So *maybe*...

play02:16

I'll do it for you with this paint roller

play02:18

So you don't have to!

play02:19

Just bend over

play02:20

bend over

play02:20

BEND OVER

play02:21

RIGHT NOW!

play02:22

and watch all your anal residue

play02:24

get stuck to the roller

play02:26

OR...

play02:26

You can do it the easy way

play02:28

and just wipe your ass

play02:30

with an ordinary screwdriver! 🪛

play02:31

It's *that* easy!

play02:32

One screwdriver does it all!

play02:34

B̵͓̹̾͘Ḯ̸̱͛T̸̖͋̏Ċ̴̛͇H̶̭̐

play02:35

You just take it up the

play02:36

old-fashioned rectal door

play02:38

into the tightest areas

play02:39

without stopping!

play02:40

OR...

play02:41

Maybe you could use this!

play02:43

Oo-Oo-Oo-

play02:44

OR...

play02:45

You can take a dump 💩

play02:46

in your paint tray 🎨

play02:47

so you can paint an entire room

play02:48

with your poop

play02:49

GUARANTEED!

play02:50

And keep on painting

play02:51

And keep on painting...

play02:53

And keep on F**KING painting...

play02:55

I can transform my bathroom

play02:57

into a disastrous biohazard room

play03:00

in no time! 😃

play03:01

Everyone who uses my bathroom

play03:03

has died 💀

play03:04

from the *unbelievable* smell!

play03:07

WOW! Your Pomeranian dog

play03:09

is soooooo cute! 🐶

play03:11

But what do ya do when your cute little dog

play03:13

sh*ts in the washer?

play03:14

💩

play03:15

UH-OH!

play03:16

Not so cute anymore!

play03:18

So just get rid of your damn dog...

play03:20

...and get a cat!

play03:22

(crickets)

play03:23

Oh... wait

play03:24

This is not a cat.

play03:26

Just get a "real" cat

play03:27

and you could get cat urine

play03:29

all over your dog!

play03:30

INSTANTLY!

play03:31

(bork)

play03:32

That's poggers

play03:33

because you get all kinda stains!

play03:35

You get 6 different ones!

play03:36

Yours free! 👍

play03:37

WoooOOW

play03:38

(intense germophobic scrubbing intensifies)

play03:40

Or whatever!

play03:41

Get rid of your smelly cat

play03:42

and get a real life!

play03:44

yyaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA

play03:45

It's all right here at your fingertits!

play03:47

s-s-s-s

play03:49

If you've ever busted a nut at work

play03:51

Just remember:

play03:52

Nothing absorbs your jizzy mess

play03:54

quite like your boss's carpet!

play03:56

it's the best! 😉

play03:57

..tsest...

play03:58

It's the *fast and easy way* to

play04:00

to have no more job

play04:01

Instantly, like magic! 🪄

play04:03

YOU'RE FIRED

play04:05

(Bruno doesn't care if he loses his job)

play04:06

STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!!! 🛑

play04:07

It's time to

play04:08

STOP c*mming on your damn clothes!

play04:10

Because that's so gross, man!

play04:13

WoooOOÒ̴̢͐́̓͐o̴̙͍̲̜̯͔͍̰̠̍̆́̋́͐̽̽̓̚o̷͈͗Ọ̴̼̈́̏Ö̵̡̯͇̻̫̙̮̈́̍̀͜O̸̟͑̈́̉̈́̚͝o̴̡̙̯̲͖̐͜Ō̴̢̳̼̭̖̩̫̠͛̽͛͜O̷̯͆O̵̡͛̌̈́̕Ö̷̺̬͕́̔̌̅̿̈͝ŏ̷̭̹̉̌͗̿̀̚͜͝͠oooW

play04:14

oooooW

play04:14

WoW Wo-

play04:15

ooAOAƠ̶̱̍ő̸̩͑o̷̘̙͘Ö̸̠̇O̸̝͝A̴̤͂͝OoAOOAooOoAo̷̜̳̻̝̦̪̩͊́̈́͌́̊̕Ŏ̶̯̈́̋̄͜O̸̩̠͖͆̌̾̀͋̂͊A̶̡̳̥͍̪͇̎̐ͅo̵̺̭̰͒̄̊̎͝Ṍ̷͕̇͝O̷̧̬̗̅͑̎̇̏̃͂oAOOo

play04:16

Here's the best part:

play04:17

No more sex

play04:18

with that stubborn jar! 🫙

play04:20

It's an accident waiting to happen!

play04:22

"1 man..."

play04:22

"1 jaaj"

play04:24

Actually...

play04:24

No more sex

play04:25

with *anyone*

play04:26

ever again

play04:27

FOR LIFE!

play04:29

...But I bet you were already doing that 😉

play04:32

LAAL

play04:32

Maybe you have a golden

play04:33

shower in your bathroom

play04:35

(sound of "water running")

play04:35

WOW-

play04:36

And watch this:

play04:37

I'm gonna take 1 million Cialis pills!

play04:40

💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊

play04:42

(stretching noise)

play04:43

OH FACK!

play04:45

BILLY MAYS

play04:45

GIANT 47 INCH D*CK

play04:47

IS STUCK IN THE FENCE

play04:49

AGAIN 🤦‍♂️

play04:50

Maybe

play04:50

it's an accident

play04:51

or maybe

play04:52

it's not...

play04:53

But don't you judge me,

play04:54

B*TCH!

play04:55

🎵 Henry & Kathleen Salvia - Brick By Brick 🎵 "Brick by brick"

play04:57

🎵 Henry & Kathleen Salvia - Brick By Brick 🎵 "Suck my dick"

play04:58

🎵 Henry & Kathleen Salvia - Brick By Brick 🎵 "No matter how thin"

play05:00

🎵 Henry & Kathleen Salvia - Brick By Brick 🎵 "No matter how thick"

play05:02

Hi, Billy Mays here for

play05:04

ordinary wiper blades!

play05:05

They just don't work!

play05:07

Now you can drive around with

play05:08

a big mess on your windshield all day!

play05:11

You'll be saying:

play05:12

This life is so

play05:13

depressing!

play05:15

Whether you're in the garage or under the hood,

play05:17

Tai Lopez: "Here in my g'rage"

play05:18

Tai Lopez: "Just bought this joj"

play05:19

aaaaaaaa-iiiiiiiiiiiii-eeeeeeee

play05:21

JOJ JOJ JOJ

play05:22

You can do it all

play05:23

...over again!

play05:24

Over 27 million times over again!

play05:26

Whether you're in the hood

play05:27

or under the garage

play05:28

you'll have urine in the garage!

play05:31

What a diSASter!

play05:32

(intensive germophobic cleaning ritual, pt. 2)

play05:35

By the way...

play05:36

If you're able to help CS pay his monthly bills

play05:39

That would be awesome!

play05:41

Because the costs of just about everything

play05:43

have gone up dramatically!

play05:45

And now CS can't afford anything!

play05:48

Not even paper towels

play05:49

to jack off into!

play05:51

"I just can't afford it, I need help!"

play05:54

Maybe CS should go back to

play05:56

a regular f**king job

play05:57

like a regular f**king person

play06:00

Here's the thing...

play06:01

Not every upload is guaranteed to be as aMAYSing as this one

play06:05

Because CS is trying to stay on good terms with the YouTube policies

play06:10

And sometimes there's just no inspiration

play06:14

But CS will always try to make something worth your money!

play06:18

Maybe he'll finally make more music edits!

play06:22

But there's no guarantee

play06:23

So don't hold your breath 😶

play06:26

(Captioned manually by cs188 😁👍)

play06:29

My ship sails in the morning

play06:31

I wonder what's for dinner?

play06:33

Dinner:

play06:34

HARDON

play06:34

Apply directly to the erection!

play06:36

HARDON

play06:37

Apply directly to the erection!

play06:39

No more squishy

play06:40

paintis paenis penis

play06:41

and you get stiffer CAAC

play06:42

A̵ ̵L̶O̵T̶ ̸H̸A̶R̷D̵E̶R̸ ̴A̵N̷D̸ ̸L̸O̷N̵G̷E̵R̸

play06:44

Take a look at this DICC:

play06:45

Just turn the quick flow valve

play06:47

and instantly more liquid is released!

play06:49

That means you drip and splatter

play06:51

in the palm of your hand! 🖐️

play06:52

(from The Exorcist) "The power of Christ compels you!"

play06:54

You can control any alien, anywhere 👽

play06:56

You can control my underwear, anywhere 🩲

play06:59

You bet!

play07:00

I looooove beautiful pudding? 🤔

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