Simon Sinek: CHANGE YOUR FUTURE - Life Changing Motivational Speech

Summary

The speaker shares five life lessons to help the audience find purpose and happiness. First, pursue your goals persistently. Next, hold yourself accountable. Then, help others succeed. Also, listen before speaking to fully understand diverse perspectives. Finally, remain humble despite status and wealth, always appreciating simple gifts in life.

Takeaways

• 😃 Go after what you want in life directly, don't wait around
• 🧠 Take accountability for your actions, don't just take the credit
• ❤️ Take care of others, help those around you to advance together
• 🎓 Listen first before speaking your opinion, to understand all perspectives
• 😊 Deserve only the basics, be humble and grateful as you gain status
• 👀 See opportunities, not obstacles, on your path to goals
• 🤝 Ask others for help when you need it to succeed
• 😌 Break rules if needed to achieve goals, but don't limit others
• 😡 Sometimes you are the problem, be willing to change
• 🌟 Find ways to help others be successful too on your journey

Q & A

What is the first rule the speaker talks about regarding going after what you want?

The first rule is that you should go after the things you want in life without waiting around or doing things the way everybody else does. The speaker gives the example of skipping the long line for bagels by just reaching in and grabbing some rather than waiting.

What does the speaker say is an important lesson to learn from the doctors spreading puerperal fever?

The speaker says an important lesson is that sometimes you are the problem. He relates this to the doctors not realizing they were spreading puerperal fever since they didn't wash their hands. The lesson is to take accountability for your actions.

How does the Navy SEAL describe the kind of people who make it through SEAL training?

He says that those who make it through are often physically and emotionally spent, but somehow find the energy to keep going by helping the person next to them. The most important trait is the ability to help others around you.

What does the speaker say about why Nelson Mandela was regarded as a great leader?

The speaker highlights two things Mandela learned from his father at tribal meetings - first, the elders always sat in a circle, and second, Mandela's father was always the last to speak at the meetings. This taught Mandela the importance of listening and being the last to render your opinion.

What is the lesson from the undersecretary's story about the different coffee cups?

The lesson is that the fine ceramic coffee cup was meant for the prestigious position he held before as undersecretary, not for him personally. Now that he no longer holds that position, he deserves a simple styrofoam cup. Positions and perks are temporary.

What is the first rule the speaker gave about going after what you want in life?

The first rule is that you should go after what you want without waiting around or doing things the way everybody else does. He used the example of skipping the long line for bagels and just reaching in to grab some.

How did washing hands help stop the spread of puerperal fever?

Doctors were not washing their hands after performing autopsies before delivering babies. Washing hands and sterilizing instruments helped stop the spread of germs that were causing puerperal fever.

What is one key trait Navy SEALs need to have according to the speaker?

The key trait SEALs need is the ability to help others around them. The speaker says that those who make it through SEAL training are those who can dig deep to help their comrades next to them when physically and emotionally spent.

How did Nelson Mandela's father lead tribal meetings?

Mandela said his father always had the elders sit in a circle, giving them equal standing. Also, his father was always the last to speak, listening to everyone before giving his opinion.

What was the lesson from the undersecretary's story?

The lesson was that the comfortable perks and treatment he received as undersecretary were for his prestigious position, not for him personally. Now in a lesser position, he deserves only simple accommodations like a styrofoam cup.

Outlines

00:00

😊 Go After What You Want

The first paragraph tells a story about the author going after free bagels at a race instead of waiting in a long line, to illustrate the point that you should go after what you want in life directly rather than waiting or following conventional approaches. He mentions some key principles like not denying what others want either and having to sacrifice choice sometimes.

05:04

😣 Take Accountability for Your Actions

The second paragraph uses the historical example of doctors not washing hands and causing puerperal fever in childbirthing women, until Semmelweis discovered the cause. This illustrates the importance of looking inward and taking personal accountability when things go wrong, instead of blaming external factors.

10:07

❤️ Take Care of Each Other

The third paragraph relates a Navy SEAL's perspective that the trainees that make it through the rigorous selection are not necessarily the toughest, but those that dig deep within to help their teammates in times of extreme distress. The author thus stresses the importance of interdependence, accepting help, and taking care of others.

15:12

🧐 Listen Before You Speak

The fourth paragraph suggests that good leadership, as exemplified by Nelson Mandela, involves listening to everyone else's opinions first in a discussion before rendering your own views and judgments. This allows the leader to incorporate all perspectives.

☕️ Deserve Only a Styrofoam Cup

The final paragraph recounts an anecdote where a former government official realizes he receives a simple styrofoam cup now rather than an ornate ceramic one he once did, a sobering reminder to remain humble and gracious as you climb positions of power and privilege.

Keywords

💡Pursuit

Pursuit refers to the act of following or striving to achieve something. In the video, it symbolizes the importance of actively going after one's desires and goals. The story of getting a bagel without waiting in line exemplifies this, showing that direct action towards what one wants can lead to success, albeit with compromises, such as not having the choice of bagel.

💡Obstacles

Obstacles are barriers or hurdles that stand in the way of achieving a goal. The video illustrates this concept through the long line for free bagels, which represents a perceived barrier to obtaining what one wants. The speaker's decision to bypass the line by directly accessing the bagels highlights the idea of seeing beyond immediate obstacles to achieve one's goals.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the obligation to accept responsibility for one's actions and their outcomes. The video discusses the historical example of Puerperal fever and how acknowledging the doctors' role in its spread led to a solution. It underscores the importance of taking responsibility, not only for successes but also for failures, to learn and grow.

💡Collaboration

Collaboration is the action of working with someone to produce or create something. The video highlights this concept through the example of the Navy SEALs, emphasizing that the most elite warriors succeed not because of individual prowess but through their ability to work together and support one another, especially in the most challenging situations.

💡Leadership

Leadership involves guiding and inspiring others towards a common goal. Nelson Mandela's story in the video serves as a powerful example of leadership, emphasizing the importance of listening and allowing others to contribute before expressing one's own opinion. This approach fosters a collaborative environment where everyone feels valued and heard.

💡Humility

Humility is the quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance. The video illustrates this through the anecdote of the former Undersecretary of Defense, who experienced a change in treatment after leaving his position. It teaches that positions and titles might change, but one's inherent worth remains constant, highlighting the importance of staying grounded.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. In the context of the video, it is implied in the lesson about taking care of each other, where the capacity to empathize with others, especially in their time of need, is a key component of building strong, supportive relationships and communities.

💡Innovation

Innovation refers to the introduction of new ideas, methods, or products. The video's narrative about handwashing to prevent Puerperal fever showcases innovation in medical practice, highlighting how questioning traditional practices and adopting new approaches can lead to significant breakthroughs and improvements.

💡Perseverance

Perseverance is the persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. The SEALs' training anecdote in the video exemplifies perseverance, showing that those who endure through the toughest challenges, supporting their peers along the way, achieve the highest forms of success and recognition.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful and showing appreciation for and to return kindness. The story about the change from a ceramic cup to a styrofoam cup after leaving a prestigious position highlights the importance of recognizing and being thankful for the privileges one receives, understanding they are tied to roles and positions rather than personal entitlement.

Highlights

Go after the things you want in life directly instead of waiting passively.

You don't have to follow the crowd, you can blaze your own trail.

Take accountability for your actions - you can't take all the credit without also taking responsibility.

Helping others is critical - focus on the people next to you instead of your own advancement.

Asking for help when you need it allows others who want to help you rush in.

Becoming an elite leader means developing the ability to help others around you.

Speak last in discussions - listen and ask questions before rendering your opinion.

Give others a chance to share ideas before interjecting your own.

The perks of status and power are meant for the position, not for you as an individual.

Stay grounded and appreciate any special treatment without assuming you intrinsically deserve it.

Go directly after the things you want instead of focusing on obstacles in your way.

Blaze your own trail instead of following the beaten path.

Balance taking credit with taking responsibility for your actions.

Helping others around you is the path to advancement.

Asking for help allows supporters to rush in.

Transcripts

So I had the chance to meet with some of the kids in the program today, where are you - scream out - there you go?

I love those kids and

So what I thought I would do

Because they gave me a little bit of time - um

To say whatever I want

is offer you a

little bit of

Some observations for your future. I have five little rules that you can follow as you

Find your spark and bring your spark to life

The first is to go after the things that you want. Let me tell you a story

So a friend of mine, and I - we went for a run in Central Park the Roadrunners organization

On the weekends they host races, and it's very common at the end of the races -

They'll have a sponsor who will give away something

Apples or bagels or something - and on this particular day when we got to the end of the run there were some free bagels and

They had

Picnic tables set up and on one side was a group of volunteers - on the table were boxes of bagels and on the other side

was a long line of runners waiting to get their free bagel

So I said to my friend. Let's let's get a bagel and he looked at me and said

That lines too long and I said

free bagel

And he said I don't want to wait in line and I was like

free bagel

And he says - " Nah - it's too long!" - and that's when I realized that there's two ways to see the world:

Some people see the thing that they want and some people see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want.

and so

I walked up to the line

I leaned in between two people

put my hand in the box and pulled out two bagels and

No one get mad at me because the rule is you can go after whatever you want you just cannot

deny anyone else to go after whatever they want. Now I had to sacrifice choice. I didn't get to choose which bagel

I got, I got whatever I pulled out, but I didn't have to wait in line

So the point is is you don't have to wait in line

You don't have to do it the way everybody else has done it, you can do it your way

You can break the rules you just can't get in the way of somebody else getting what they want. That's rule number one.

Rule number two.

I like this one

in the

18th century

There was something that

spread across Europe, and eventually made its way to America called Puerperal fever

Also known as the Black Death of Childbed

Basically what was happening, is women were giving birth and

they would die within 48 hours after giving birth

This Black Death of childbirth was the ravage of Europe and it got worse and worse and worse

over the course of over a century in some hospitals

It was as high as 70% of women who gave birth who would die as a result of giving birth

But this was the Renaissance

this was the time of

empirical data and science and we had thrown away things like

tradition and mysticism - These were men of science these were doctors and these doctors and men of science

wanted to study and try and find the reason

for this black death of childbed and so they got to work studying, and they would study the corpses

of the of the women who had died and in the morning they would conduct autopsies and then in the afternoon

they would go and deliver babies and finish their rounds. And it wasn't until somewhere in the mid 1800s that

Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, father of Supreme Court Justice. Oliver Wendell Holmes realized

That all of these doctors who conducting autopsies in the morning weren't washing their hands

Before they delivered babies in the afternoon, and he pointed it out and said

"Guys, you're the problem" and

they ignored him and called him crazy for 30 years until

finally somebody realized that if they simply washed their hands

It would go away.

And that's exactly what happened. When they started sterilizing their instruments and washing their hands the black death of childbed disappeared.

My point is the lesson here is: sometimes, you're the problem

We've seen this happen all too recently with our new men of science and empirical

studies and these men of

finance

Who are smarter than the rest of us until the thing collapsed

And they blamed everything else except themselves - and my point is is: Take accountability for your actions.

You can take all the credit in the world for the things that you do right as long as you also take responsibility

for the things you do wrong. It must be a balanced equation.

You don't get it one way and not the other. You get to take credit when you also take accountability.

That's lesson 2.

Lesson 3

Take care of each other.

The United States Navy SEALs are perhaps the most elite warriors in the world.

And one of the SEALs was asked who makes it through the selection process? Who is able

to become a SEAL. And his answer was I

"I can't tell you the kind of person that becomes a seal. I can't tell you the kind of person that makes it through BUDs.

But I can tell you the kind of people who don't become Seals.

He says the guys that show up with huge bulging muscles covered in tattoos -

who want to prove to the world how tough they are. None of them make it through.

He said the preening leaders who like to delegate all their responsibility - and never do anything themselves - none of them make it through.

He said the star college athletes, who have never really been tested to the core of their being.

None of them make it through.

He says some of the guys that make it through were skinny and scrawny

He said some of the guys that make it through - you will see them shivering out of fear.

He says- "However, all the guys that make it through -

when they find themselves

physically spent

emotionally spent - when they have nothing left to give physically or emotionally

Somehow someway, they are able to find the energy to dig down deep inside themselves

To find the energy to help the guy next to them

They become Seals he said. You want to be an elite warrior?

It's not about how tough you are it's not about how smart you are -

It's not about how fast you are. If you want to be an elite warrior

You better get really really good at helping the person to the left of you and helping the person to the right of you.

Because that's how people advance in the world.

The world is too dangerous, and the world is too difficult for you to think that you can do these things alone.

If you find your spark

I commend you: who you gonna ask for help? And when are you gonna accept help when it's offered?

Learn that skill.

Learn by practicing helping each other. It'll be the single most valuable thing you ever learn in your entire life

To accept help when it's offered and to ask for it when you know that you can't do it.

The amazing thing is when you learn to ask for help, you'll discover that there are people all around you

who've always wanted to help you. They just didn't think you needed it because you kept pretending that you had everything under control.

And the minute you say: I don't know what I'm doing. I'm stuck. I'm scared.

I don't think I can do this. You will find that lots of people who love you will rush in and take care of you.

But that'll only happen if you learn to take care of them first.

Lesson four.

Nelson Mandela is a

particularly special case study in the leadership world because he is universally regarded as a great leader.

You can take other personalities and depending on the nation you go to we have different opinions about other personalities

But Nelson Mandela across the world is universally regarded as a great leader.

He was actually the son of a tribal chief, and he was asked one day -

"How did you learn to be a great leader?" and he responded that he would go with his father

to tribal meetings, and he remembers two things when his father would meet with other elders - One:

They would always

sit in a circle.

And two: His father was always the last to speak.

You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen.

I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak.

I see it in boardrooms every day of the week.

Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may actually be decent leaders will walk into a room and say:

Here's the problem, here's what I think but I'm interested in your opinion. Let's go around the room. It's too late.

The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things. One:

It gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard.

It gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed, and

two: you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion.

The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself. If you agree with somebody don't nod "yes".

If you disagree with somebody don't nod "no".

Simply sit there, take it all in and the only thing you're allowed to do is ask questions

So that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have. You must

understand from where they are speaking why they have the opinion they have not just what they are saying and

at the end

You will get your turn

It sounds easy. It's not.

Practice being the last to speak that's what Nelson Mandela did.

Number three number five - this Monty Python.

One - two- five - three !

For all the other nerds in the audience

There's one

Number five

My favorite one of all.

True story.

There was a former

Undersecretary of Defense who was invited to give a speech at a large conference, about a thousand people

And he was standing on the stage with his cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup

Giving his prepared remarks with his PowerPoint behind him, and he took a sip of his coffee, and he smiled,

And he looked down at the coffee, and then he went off-script

And he said "you know last year, I spoke at this exact same conference.

Last year, I was still the undersecretary and

when I spoke here last year they flew me here business class and when I arrived at the airport,

there was somebody waiting for me to take me to my hotel. And they took me to my hotel,

and they had already checked me in, and they just took me up to my room. And the next morning I came

downstairs, and there was someone waiting in the lobby to greet me, and they drove me to this here same venue.

They took me through the back entrance and took me into the green room and handed me a cup of coffee in a beautiful

beautiful ceramic cup.

He says I'm no longer the undersecretary.

I flew here coach

I took a taxi to my hotel and I checked myself in. When I came down the lobby this morning

I took another taxi to this venue

I came in the front door and found my way backstage

And when I asked someone "do you have any coffee?" he pointed to the coffee machine in the corner

And I poured myself a cup of coffee into this here

styrofoam cup

He says the lesson is the ceramic cup was never meant for me. It was meant for the position I held.

I deserve a styrofoam cup

Remember this as you gain fame, as you gain fortune, as you gain position and seniority,

People will treat you better. They will hold doors open for you,

they will get you a cup of tea and coffee without you even asking they will call you sir and ma'am

And they will give you stuff.

None of that stuff is meant for you

That stuff is meant for the position you hold

It is meant for the level that you have achieved of leader or success or whatever you want to call it, but you will always

deserve a styrofoam cup

Remember that

Remember that lesson of humility and gratitude. You can accept all the free stuff, you can accept all the perks

Absolutely. You can enjoy them, but just be grateful for them, and know that they're not for you.

I remember getting off

The Acela, I took the Acela from New York to Washington DC

And I got off the train like everybody else, and I was walking down the platform like everyone else, and I walked past

general Norty Schwartz who used to be the chief of staff of the United States Air Force, the Head of the Air Force - and

Here, I did you see a guy in a suit

Shlepping his own suitcase down the platform. Just like me - and just a couple months ago

He was flying on private jets and he had an entourage and other people carried his luggage.

But he no longer held the position and so now he got to drag his own suitcase, and

never did it sort of remind me more that none of us deserve the perks that we get we all deserve a styrofoam cup

It was a pleasure meeting you guys this afternoon

I was blown away by your honesty and your curiosity and your poise and

I am confident that the future is bright despite the fact that America looks like an absolute mess right now.

I am confident that the future is bright for one reason and one reason only - because you will grow up, and you will be our future

Thank you very very much guys

You're wonderful