Contact in Gestalt therapy • 3 minute Gestalt series #5

Summary

This video discusses the importance of 'contact' in Gestalt therapy, which focuses on genuine interaction and awareness in relationships. The speaker emphasizes 'good contact,' involving meeting others at a boundary without trying to eliminate differences. Gestalt therapy encourages using 'I-language' to clarify personal boundaries and avoid misunderstandings. By observing how individuals make contact, therapists can understand their clients' relational patterns. The video highlights the importance of experimenting with different types of contact to help clients explore new ways of interacting and improve their relationships.

Takeaways

• 🌐 Gestalt therapy emphasizes the importance of 'contact' as one of its four pillars, which is crucial for dialogue and relationships.
• 🤝 'Good contact' is defined as meeting at the boundary, acknowledging and respecting differences without imposing oneself on others.
• 🔍 In Gestalt therapy, the therapist pays close attention to how clients make contact, as it can reflect their interpersonal interactions outside the therapy room.
• 🗣️ The use of 'I-language' in therapy helps to clarify boundaries and focus on personal experiences, avoiding the blurring of perspectives.
• 🚫 Gestalt therapy avoids the use of 'we' and generalizations like 'you' when referring to personal experiences to maintain clarity.
• 👂 Attention is given to the client's manner of making contact, such as their energy level, voice volume, and presence in the room.
• 🔄 Gestalt therapy involves experimenting with and exploring different modes of contact to find a balanced approach that works for the individual.
• 📉 The fluctuation in a client's voice, from loud and dominating to soft and humble, can indicate issues in their contact with others.
• 🤔 The therapist's experience of contact with the client is used to diagnose and understand the client's interpersonal dynamics.
• 🛠️ Awareness and modulation of contact are brought to the forefront in therapy, with support for clients to explore and adjust their contact style.
• 🔄 The process of working with contact in therapy is iterative, involving play, exploration, and experimentation to find a healthier way of relating to others.

Q & A

What is the significance of 'contact' in the context of Gestalt therapy?

In Gestalt therapy, 'contact' is one of the four pillars and is crucial for establishing dialogue or relationship. It involves meeting at the boundary, acknowledging differences, and not imposing oneself on others, which can lead to transformative experiences.

What does 'good contact' mean in the script?

'Good contact' refers to a high-quality meeting where individuals acknowledge and respect each other's differences without trying to obliterate or avoid them.

Why is the use of 'I-language' important in psychotherapeutic frameworks?

Using 'I-language' helps clarify the boundary between individuals by focusing on one's own experiences and asking about the other person's experiences, thus maintaining a clear and respectful dialogue.

Why does Gestalt therapy avoid the use of the word 'we'?

In Gestalt therapy, the word 'we' is avoided because it can blur individual experiences and boundaries, potentially leading to confusion or a loss of individual identity within the therapeutic process.

How does the script describe the importance of observing how people make contact?

The script emphasizes observing the manner in which people make contact, such as their energy levels and vocal tone, as these can provide clues about their interactions with the environment and others.

What does the therapist do when a client has a fluctuating contact style?

The therapist brings awareness to the fluctuations in the client's contact style, supports them in modulating it, and explores different kinds of contact to find a balanced approach that feels more like a meeting of equals.

How does the therapist's experience of contact with a client reflect the client's interpersonal interactions?

The therapist's experience of contact is likely to mirror the client's contact with others, providing an experiential and interpersonal diagnosis that informs the therapeutic approach.

What is the purpose of experimenting with different modes of contact in Gestalt therapy?

Experimenting with different modes of contact allows clients to explore and potentially find better ways of meeting and relating to others, leading to improved relationships and personal growth.

How does the script illustrate the concept of contact through the example of a client with a fluctuating voice?

The script uses the example of a client who alternates between a loud, dominating voice and a soft, barely perceptible one, to demonstrate the impact of different contact styles on the therapeutic relationship and the need for balance.

What is the role of awareness in the process of exploring and experimenting with contact in Gestalt therapy?

Awareness is key in Gestalt therapy as it allows both the therapist and the client to recognize and understand the dynamics of their contact, facilitating the exploration and adjustment of contact styles for more effective communication and relationship building.

How does the reflection of the client's contact style back to them contribute to their personal growth?

Reflecting the client's contact style back to them with awareness helps them understand their interactions and how they impact others, which can lead to insights and changes in their approach to meeting and relating to others.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 The Essence of Good Contact in Gestalt Therapy

The first paragraph introduces the concept of contact as a fundamental pillar in Gestalt therapy, emphasizing its importance in establishing dialogue and relationships. It explains that good contact involves meeting at the boundary, acknowledging differences without imposing oneself or avoiding them. The paragraph delves into the use of 'I-language' to clarify personal experiences and boundaries, and the avoidance of generalizing terms like 'we' and 'you' to maintain clarity. It also highlights the significance of observing how individuals make contact in the therapeutic setting, as it can reflect their interpersonal interactions outside. The therapist's experience with a client, who fluctuated between a loud, dominating voice and a soft, almost inaudible one, illustrates the importance of exploring and modulating contact to find a balanced, transformative mode of interaction.

Keywords

💡Contact

Contact, in the context of this video, is a central concept in gestalt therapy, referring to the interaction between individuals. It is one of the four pillars and is essential for understanding the dynamics of dialogue and relationship. The video emphasizes 'good contact,' which involves meeting at the boundary of differences without imposing oneself or avoiding the other's presence. An example from the script is the exploration of different modes of contact, like the fluctuation between a booming and a soft voice, which reflects a person's way of relating to others.

💡Gestalt Therapy

Gestalt Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the individual's experience in the present moment, emphasizing the concept of 'contact' as a key element. It is highlighted in the script as an approach that pays particular attention to how people make contact and interact with their environment and others. The therapy aims to help individuals become more aware of their contact patterns and explore healthier ways of relating.

💡Dialogue

Dialogue, as mentioned in the script, is one of the four pillars in gestalt therapy, alongside contact. It refers to the exchange of thoughts and feelings between individuals. The video discusses the importance of 'good contact' as a foundation for meaningful dialogue, where both parties meet at their boundaries and engage in a transformative interaction.

💡Boundary

Boundary, in the context of gestalt therapy, refers to the limits or edges that define an individual's self. The script talks about 'meeting at the boundary,' which means engaging with another person while maintaining one's individuality and respecting the other's. It is a critical aspect of 'good contact,' where differences are acknowledged and not obliterated.

💡Difference

Difference, as discussed in the video, is the unique characteristic or quality that sets one individual apart from another. It is important in the concept of 'good contact' because it is about meeting another person while acknowledging and respecting their differences, rather than trying to impose one's own views or erase the other's individuality.

💡I-Language

I-Language is a technique used in psychotherapy, including gestalt therapy, where individuals express themselves using 'I' statements to clarify their personal experiences and feelings. The script mentions its use to help define the boundary between self and other, promoting a clearer and more respectful form of communication.

💡We

The script points out the avoidance of the word 'we' in gestalt therapy to prevent blurring of individual experiences and to maintain clarity in communication. It is a caution against generalizing or assuming shared experiences that may not exist, thus preserving the integrity of individual perspectives.

💡Psychotherapeutic Frameworks

Psychotherapeutic Frameworks refer to the theoretical structures and methods used in therapy to facilitate the healing process. The script discusses how gestalt therapy, as a framework, is particularly interested in the way individuals make contact and interact, using these interactions as a basis for understanding and improving interpersonal relationships.

💡Awareness

Awareness, in the context of the video, is the conscious recognition and attention given to one's own experiences, behaviors, and interactions. The script emphasizes bringing awareness to the way someone makes contact, as it provides insights into their interpersonal dynamics and can inform therapeutic interventions.

💡Modulation

Modulation, as used in the script, refers to the adjustment or control of one's behavior or manner of interaction. In gestalt therapy, clients are supported to modulate their contact, exploring different ways of relating to find a more balanced and effective mode of interaction.

💡Transformation

Transformation is the process of change or alteration in form, structure, or appearance. The video script mentions that a high-quality meeting at the boundary can be transformative, implying that through 'good contact,' individuals can experience personal growth and change in their relational patterns.

Highlights

Contact is one of the four pillars in Gestalt therapy, emphasizing the importance of dialogue or relationship.

Good contact in Gestalt therapy involves meeting at the boundary and acknowledging differences without imposing oneself.

High-quality meeting during contact can be transformative and is a key focus in Gestalt therapy.

The use of 'I-language' in psychotherapy helps to clarify the boundary between self and others.

Avoidance of the word 'we' in Gestalt therapy to prevent blurring of individual experiences.

Gestalt therapy pays special attention to how individuals make contact, both physically and verbally.

Different modes of contact, such as loud or quiet voices, provide insights into a person's interaction with their environment.

The therapist's experience of contact with the client can reflect the client's contact with others.

A client's fluctuation between a loud, dominating voice and a soft, humble voice indicates varying contact styles.

Therapists may feel intimidated by a client's booming voice or struggle to connect with a very soft voice.

Awareness of contact is brought to the forefront in Gestalt therapy to support clients in exploring different modes of interaction.

The goal is to find a balanced contact style that allows for a more equal and impactful meeting between therapist and client.

Experimentation with contact is encouraged to help clients discover more effective ways of relating to others.

The actual experience of contact with the client is more informative than secondhand accounts of their relationships.

Reflecting on the contact experience with clients helps them to explore and potentially improve their modes of meeting and relating.

Transcripts

Welcome to the three-minute series.

This is unit number five on contact.

Contact's a very important topic in gestalt because

contact describes one of the four pillars, which is, we

say, dialogue or relationship.

So contact, we're interested in what we call good contact,

which means meeting at the boundary, which means meeting

at difference, which is me meeting you, not trying to

obliterate differences, not running away from differences,

not trying to impose myself on you, but really meeting

you, and when there's a

high-quality meeting that in itself can become

quite transformative.

So what do we mean by good contact?

Well, in terms of, you know, psychotherapeutic frameworks,

we use I-language.

I talk about myself and my experience, and then I ask you

about your experience, that helps clarify the boundary.

In Gestalt, there's an avoidance of the word we

because it does tend to blur things, or saying

you when I mean I.

Now, these are basic elements that are often part of

psychotherapeutic processes.

In Gestalt, though, we're particularly interested

in paying attention to how people make contact.

So when they come in the room, do they bound in

the room with lots of energy and a loud voice?

Or do they have a little quiet mouse voice that

we could lean into here?

All these give us clues in the present about how the person

makes contact with the environment, with the

people in it, in the case of therapy with me.

So my experience of contact with them is likely to reflect

the kind of contact they have with other people so I

can quickly Diagnose in an experiential and interpersonal

sense what's happening with this person in terms of

contact recently I work with a client who had

Alternated between a

very loud voice in which he was very dominating and

opinionated And then he would go to a very soft voice where

he was kind of humble but hardly having an impact.

So we can see there the fluctuations of the kind of

contact that was going on.

When he was in his booming voice, he was a little

bit intimidating.

My tendency was to tense up and experience kind

of being lectured by him.

When he had a soft voice, I had to lean in and

I could barely have a sense of his presence.

So we bring awareness, as we do to everything else, to the

way that someone makes contact And we also support them to

modulate that, to explore different kinds of contact

with this fellow, to find somewhere in between the huge

booming voice and the very quiet voice, so that we

can have a contact that was more like a meeting

between kind of two equals or something.

So we play with contact, we explore contact, we experiment

with contact, we always experiment with these things,

and we particularly pay attention to how the person

makes contact in the present, because they can tell us

about their lives, they can tell us about the

things that go wrong in

relationship, but that's always secondhand.

It's our actual experience of contact with them that really

informs us of how they live out their lives and the

reflection of that back to them with awareness is what

helps them explore different modes of contact and therefore

finding perhaps a better way of meeting and relationship.