Tony Robbins Helps Theo Deal With Low Self Worth

Theo Von Clips
9 Jan 202413:35

Summary

TLDRIn this emotional and insightful dialogue, the host and guest explore the complexities of self-worth and the struggle to feel pride in one's achievements. They delve into the concept of an 'emotional home' and how early life experiences shape our emotional patterns, leading to a cycle of negative self-perception. The conversation emphasizes the importance of breaking these patterns by seeking new experiences that foster positive emotions, such as love and gratitude, which can overpower feelings of inadequacy and self-pity. The host encourages the guest to recognize and embrace their progress, reframe their narrative, and cultivate self-love as a means to overcome past emotional traumas and build a healthier emotional home.

Takeaways

  • 🤔 The struggle with self-worth and pride is a common emotional challenge that can feel deeply ingrained and difficult to overcome.
  • 🔒 There's a concept of an 'emotional home' where individuals may feel a sense of familiarity and comfort in negative emotions due to past experiences.
  • 🛠️ Personal growth involves reprogramming oneself to break away from old emotional patterns that no longer serve us.
  • 💧 Emotional vulnerability can be a strength, allowing for deeper connections and a more authentic self-expression.
  • 🏠 The idea of leaving behind negative emotions can feel like abandoning a part of oneself, but it's actually about embracing a healthier emotional state.
  • 🌱 Growth involves pushing beyond one's comfort zone and challenging the old narratives that limit our potential.
  • 🧠 The brain can rewire itself to new experiences, allowing for the replacement of negative emotions with more positive ones.
  • 👀 Recognizing and acknowledging progress is crucial for personal development and can help to reinforce new, healthier emotional patterns.
  • ❤️ The core desire for most people is love, and the fear of not being enough can often be a barrier to achieving this.
  • 🚫 Negative emotions, such as self-pity, can be addictive and have a detrimental effect on one's energy levels and overall well-being.
  • 🌈 Gratitude is a powerful tool for cultivating self-love and can naturally lead to a more positive emotional state.

Q & A

  • What is the main issue the speaker is discussing in the script?

    -The main issue discussed is the struggle with feeling proud of oneself and the emotional barriers that prevent one from embracing positive self-regard.

  • What does the speaker refer to as their 'emotional home'?

    -The 'emotional home' refers to the set of emotions one is accustomed to from their past, which can be difficult to leave even if they are not positive.

  • Why does the speaker mention the example of people rebuilding in areas prone to natural disasters?

    -The example illustrates the concept of an 'emotional home', showing that people often return to what they know, even if it's harmful, because it's familiar.

  • What is the speaker's view on the emotions one should have towards oneself?

    -The speaker believes that one should aim to have positive emotions towards oneself, and that negative emotions are often old patterns that can be changed.

  • What does the speaker suggest as a way to break the pattern of negative emotions?

    -The speaker suggests creating new experiences that evoke positive emotions and consciously reprogramming one's thoughts to break the pattern of negativity.

  • Why does the speaker say that the emotions of not feeling good about oneself can feel like 'home'?

    -The speaker explains that these emotions can feel like 'home' because they are familiar and what one has known for a long time, making them feel comfortable despite being negative.

  • What is the significance of the speaker's mention of his own past and upbringing?

    -The speaker uses his own past to illustrate how one's upbringing can shape their 'emotional home' and how personal growth can lead to overcoming these early emotional patterns.

  • What advice does the speaker give for dealing with feelings of impostor syndrome?

    -The speaker advises recognizing that impostor syndrome is rooted in fear of not being enough and suggests building new patterns of thought to overcome this fear.

  • How does the speaker relate his work of feeding people to his own past experiences?

    -The speaker relates his charitable work to his own experiences of hunger and the kindness of strangers, which inspired him to help others and spread happiness.

  • What is the core emotion that the speaker identifies as most powerful for the person they are talking to?

    -The core emotion identified is love, which the speaker believes can overpower negative emotions and is the underlying desire behind feelings of self-pity.

  • What is the final message the speaker conveys about personal growth and self-love?

    -The final message is that personal growth involves recognizing and changing old emotional patterns, and that self-love can be cultivated through practices like gratitude.

Outlines

00:00

🔐 Emotional Home and Self-Worth

The speaker discusses the struggle of feeling proud of oneself and the concept of an 'emotional home.' This emotional home is a set of familiar emotions from one's past that can be difficult to leave behind, even if they are negative. The speaker shares personal experiences of overcoming a troubled past and emphasizes the importance of reprogramming oneself to break free from these old emotional patterns. The conversation touches on vulnerability, the fear of change, and the process of creating new, positive experiences to replace the old, negative ones.

05:01

🌱 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Negative Self-Talk

This paragraph delves into the challenges of recognizing and embracing one's own success and the difficulty of feeling pride in personal achievements. The concept of 'rewiring' oneself through positive affirmations and the power of storytelling in shaping one's beliefs are explored. The speaker addresses the impostor syndrome and the fear of not being enough, suggesting that these feelings stem from old patterns that can be changed. The importance of changing one's internal narrative to foster growth and self-acceptance is highlighted, along with the acknowledgment of progress and the encouragement to stack positive experiences.

10:02

❤️ The Power of Love and Gratitude in Personal Growth

The final paragraph focuses on the role of love and gratitude in personal development. The speaker shares a personal story of overcoming a difficult childhood and using those experiences to fuel a mission to help others, emphasizing the transformative power of love. The conversation discusses the tendency to fall into self-pity and how it can be a form of self-care in disguise. The speaker suggests that gratitude can be a pathway to self-love and higher energy states, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and positive life.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Pride

Pride in this context refers to a feeling of satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, which is a central theme in the video. It is shown as something the speaker struggles with, indicating a disconnect with self-appreciation. The script mentions, 'I feel like, I'm proud of myself like if I actually, feel proud of myself it'll go against, some script that I've always had written,' highlighting the internal conflict with embracing pride.

💡Emotional Home

The concept of 'Emotional Home' is introduced as a metaphor for the set of emotions one is most familiar with, often formed in early life. It is integral to the video's narrative as it explains why individuals might resist change or new emotions. The script uses the metaphor of natural disaster-prone areas to illustrate the idea: 'we have an emotional home we have certain emotions that got built up in your youth'.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is presented as a strength and a means for personal growth in the video. The speaker appreciates the host's openness, which serves as a role model for viewers. It is exemplified when the script says, 'I really, appreciate you being so vulnerable, because people watching there seeing, that allow them to be vulnerable because, you're a role model of that.'

💡Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a 'fraud'. It is related to the video's theme of self-doubt and the struggle to accept one's success. The script touches on this concept: 'and some people feel like you know the, word people use is impostor syndrome, it's all [ __ ] [ __ ] it's just fear, that you're not enough.'

💡Self-Pity

Self-pity is depicted as an unhelpful emotional state that can be addictive and detrimental to personal growth. It is discussed in the script as a pattern that needs to be overcome: 'self-pity if you're in self-pity right, now 0 to 10 10 is total high energy, Zero's no energy where are you in, self-pity where would you put it oh two.'

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is posited as a powerful tool for cultivating positive emotions and self-love. It is tied to the video's theme of emotional transformation. The script illustrates this: 'because when you're grateful, love flows naturally.'

💡Emotional Pattern

An emotional pattern refers to the recurring emotions or responses that individuals develop over time. In the video, breaking these patterns is key to emotional growth and self-acceptance. The script discusses this: 'those are not your friends, and you're not going to, abandon those parts of yourself you're, going to find these other parts of, yourself that need to be in charge.'

💡Fear

Fear is identified as a barrier to embracing positive emotions and self-worth. It is a prevalent theme in the video, linked to the struggle with pride and self-acceptance. The script mentions: 'it's just fear, that you're not enough we all have that, fear brother I feel that at times I, don't feel it much now but I'm 63 years, old.'

💡Personal Growth

Personal growth is the overarching goal presented in the video, involving overcoming emotional barriers and embracing a more positive self-image. It is exemplified through the host's journey and advice given. The script states: 'I look, back on her I can honestly tell you if, she was the mother I'd hope she'd been, like if I was wellfed you really think, I'd be trying to feed a bill you know a, billion people now I'm trying, to feed a 100 billion people.'

💡Love

Love, particularly self-love, is depicted as the ultimate emotional state to strive for, as it can overcome negative emotions and lead to a fulfilling life. It is central to the video's message of emotional well-being. The script highlights this: 'what you're really wanting is not self-pity, you're wanting self-love you just, haven't learned how to give it to, yourself.'

Highlights

Discussion on the difficulty of feeling proud of oneself and the internal conflict it may cause.

The concept of an 'emotional home' and how early life experiences shape our emotional patterns.

The idea that negative emotions can be comforting due to familiarity, even if they are not beneficial.

The struggle with self-imposed limitations and the fear of breaking away from them.

The emotional vulnerability shared during the conversation and its importance for personal growth.

The transformative power of reprogramming one's emotional responses and breaking old patterns.

The analogy of emotional patterns to natural disasters, highlighting the difficulty of change.

The importance of creating new experiences that challenge and redefine one's emotional home.

The role of positive emotions like love and gratitude in overcoming negative emotional states.

The recognition of impostor syndrome as a manifestation of fear and self-doubt.

The process of identifying and embracing one's core desires and emotions for personal development.

The impact of personal stories and experiences on shaping one's emotional landscape.

The significance of changing one's narrative to foster self-love and self-acceptance.

The exploration of the fear of success and the potential loss of familiarity with one's struggles.

The insight that negative emotions can sometimes serve as a form of self-care, albeit an unhealthy one.

The realization of self-pity as a form of emotional addiction and its detrimental effects.

The strategy of using gratitude as a tool to cultivate self-love and shift emotional patterns.

The importance of acknowledging progress and stacking positive experiences to build a healthier emotional home.

Transcripts

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sometimes I have a tough time feeling

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proud of myself do you know what that do

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you know and I think I've had other

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people call in our our show that have

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talked about that you know what do you

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think it is I don't know I feel like um

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I almost feel like there just there's a

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disconnect like it doesn't even land on

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me or I feel like maybe if I feel like

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I'm proud of myself like if I actually

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feel proud of myself it'll go against

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some script that I've always had written

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or

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some some thing that was always written

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inside of me you know it's like it it's

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almost like it wouldn't if I wrote on

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the wall of myself I'm proud of you it

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wouldn't even [ __ ] show up on the

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wall what emotion would you feel if you

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saw that um like what emotion would I

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feel if I saw what I'm proud of myself

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would you go [ __ ] would you be

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pissed off by it would you be annoyed

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would you just no I think I feel ashamed

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to myself for even thinking it that's

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interesting and pro an emotion in you

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just now even when you just thought

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about it I saw that flash in your eyes

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just a little bit of water a little bit

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of fluid oh yeah dude dude [ __ ] we cry

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on here every week sorry dude beautiful

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no it's okay but yeah we don't have any

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we don't have any Shame about that no

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you shouldn't but I'm saying liquid Le

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leaving your body in a public place as

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long as Through Your Eyes is not a

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problem that's what I'm talking about

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huh yeah yeah don't ask don't ask right

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but my point is there's a real anchor

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for you there so let me explain it to

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you everybody has what I call an

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emotional home yeah do you ever watch

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like a a place here and let's say you

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know where the Cyclone happens every 2

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or 3 years it wipes out everything or

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tornado comes through and you see these

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poor people all their stuff's all over

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the ground and they're picking it up and

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you could have a Heart of Stone not to

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feel they rebuild two years again it

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happens again two years later happens

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again some part of you eventually goes

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why don't you move you know it's like

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why don't you move a lot of vietnams

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like that it floods New Orleans is like

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that it floods New Orleans like that so

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here's why don't they move because it's

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home it's what they know we have an

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emotional home we have certain emotions

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that got built up in your youth you I

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had four fathers I had a mother that was

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pretty intense and I had a lot of

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emotions that came out of that

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experience if I didn't reprogram myself

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I wouldn't be sitting here with you

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today because my emotional home was not

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good feelings it's what I was used to so

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even though it didn't feel good you go

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there because it's what you know yeah

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it's comfortable so yeah it almost feel

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like I was deserting myself if I felt

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good about myself which is crazy i'

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almost feel like I was

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leaving I don't know yeah it's almost

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like I knew those feelings finish that

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thought I'm leaving what well it's

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almost like I feel like I know those

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feelings of not feeling good about

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myself so well that I would be I don't

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want to leave them alone because we

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always had each other and it was like if

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I leave

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them you know if have you ever have you

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ever had a friend I leave him I just I

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won't I don't know does that make sense

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though yeah it does you want what if I

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leave them I'll just be letting them

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down and they're not even yeah they're

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not even real but they're to part of me

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some part of me inside of me I can't

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even access they're like his brothers

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that's right they're your home home

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brother and by the way I I I really

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appreciate you being so vulnerable

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because people watching there seeing

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that allow them to be vulnerable because

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you're a role model of that it's because

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you're funny as [ __ ] but to be able to

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be that vulnerable is beautiful but let

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me just tell you

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something those are not your friends

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yeah you know and you're not going to

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abandon those parts of yourself you're

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going to find these other parts of

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yourself that need to be in charge it's

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not to say that you can't have negative

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emotions or fears or feelings but the

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ones that don't support you you got to

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break that pattern and the way you break

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the pattern first first is you start to

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see you get a new experience if I get

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you an experience where you feel like

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you actually felt proud of yourself

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without those feelings and there was no

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sense of loss and I did that with you

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for days and days you'll never go back

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wow cuz your brain will go what the f

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I'm not going back to that [ __ ]

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those weren't my friends it'd be like

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you know it's like having a friend that

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beats the [ __ ] out of you every single

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day and it's like I'm letting him down

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if I don't let him beat the [ __ ] out of

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me right it's like oh no I I got to be

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there for him cuz I got to be either it

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beat the [ __ ] out of me all the place

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right that's pretty much what happen

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here dude you're like Dam here we go

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again and so then what happens though is

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the reason you went for the

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antidepressants is it's so overwhelming

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that numbing at least feels a less I'd

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rather see you cry and feel the pain

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even though I want you to feel pain as a

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brother yeah no I'm grateful to feel it

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I want it out of my system that's right

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but the next step for you is drawing a

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line on the sand of how you really want

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to feel so I'll have people in an event

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right down I give them like a minute I

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go draw a line down the middle right

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down the left side all the positive

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emotions you feel in an average week not

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once a year not once a month the ones

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you regularly feel whatever good

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feelings the average emotions in a POS

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in a positive week posi so what are some

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ones you feel in a week in a week uh

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feel at least at least once a week okay

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any emotion uh positive start with the

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positive positive empowering emotion

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hopeful okay um thankful yeah um loving

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yeah um

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and uh maybe some pride good and so so

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the pride the pride is sneaking in now

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that's not e Pride that's pride of like

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you're growing well I'm learning about

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Pride I mean it's like I said it's

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really hard for me to feel pride of

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myself you know so stop saying that okay

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cuz every time you say that you're

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rewiring it back into your body over and

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over it's a story it's like there's an

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old phrase that says tell a lie big

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enough tell a lie big enough loud enough

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and long enough sooner or later people

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believe it you know who said that Hitler

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Oh I thought you say fouchy well same

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difference but yeah I didn't know who

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was going to be we're aligned on that

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one brother quicker you're were quicker

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thinker than I am but no so yeah we hear

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what we're saying but you the

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conversation you've said with yourself

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you've done how many times do you think

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you've said that said what that you know

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I'm it's hard for me I you know I say I

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say it a lot yeah it's because I think

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I'm yeah it's like having a new story

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for myself I you know part of me still

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there's a heavy bit even to my whole new

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story having a new story even having s

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some success in my life it's almost like

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some of it feels embarrassing you know

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and some people feel like you know the

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word people use is impostor syndrome

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it's all [ __ ] [ __ ] it's just fear

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that you're not enough we all have that

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fear brother I feel that at times I

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don't feel it much now but I'm 63 years

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old and I've done a shitload of things

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for 40 years you know you built enough

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pattern yeah I built up new patterns

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it's like a muscle you know everybody's

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got the muscle if you use it it grows if

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you don't use it you lose it right it

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doesn't ever disappear though it just

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looks like it's not there but if you

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demand it you push it beyond what it's

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comfortable with and that's what you're

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doing right now you're pushing beyond

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your comfort you were settling for

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Comfort to try to survive now like f

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that I want more out of this life you

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know I'm not going to settle for that

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[ __ ] but then you keep telling yourself

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the old story so change your story

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change your life it sounds overly

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simplistic but it is true oh I love it I

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appreciate you saying it yeah yeah I

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think a lot of this chat has been about

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that and but look at the posive emotions

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you wrote down so you just told me

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verbally right so you're hopeful you

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have are you playful or funny or what

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would be your term around that part of

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you because I didn't hear that part of

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you I know it's there no I feel like

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that part of me became such my work that

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I haven't had as much free time to be

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that as on your own okay cool well so

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those are the positives what are the

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negatives you feel in an average week at

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least once a week not once a month once

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a year what are the negative emotions

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you feel um ugly okay um I feel um

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incapable angry

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um and I feel uh disappointing okay so

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which which of those emotions is most

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powerful for you um the positive list or

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the negative

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list

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the negative list is more powerful and

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that's true for most people watch this

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what's an emotion that if it became the

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dominant emotion your life one or two it

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would get rid of those negas like they

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would have any power over

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you what would be an emotional state

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would it be like courage or would it be

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playfulness or would it be uh uh let's

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say Joy or would it be gr you've already

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got gratitude more gratitude what be an

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emotion that's so strong that it would

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get rid of the disappointment probably

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love you know there you go and that's

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that's your core brother I didn't hear

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you say that on the first one that's all

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you really want it's probably why you do

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this podcast it's probably why you make

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people laugh me too by the way the only

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reason I do it I do is I love people and

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I love to see people happy because I was

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so unhappy myself and I got out of it so

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I was so grateful it's like I don't it's

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like you know I feed you know 100

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million people a year 100 million meals

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do I've done a billion meals in the last

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eight years Christ dude that's almost

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that's what that's what McDonald's did

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is it and it was free they're pretty

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cheap at McDonald's but dang dude but I

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did it not because I'm a good person I

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did it because I grew up and I had no

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money and no food when I was 11 somebody

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came and fed us on Thanksgiving and I

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was like that made me believe strangers

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care strangers care about me and they

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care about strangers and so I fell in

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love with people and I want to make

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people feel happy and I know what it

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feels like not food I know what it feels

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like to be absolutely depressed and

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miserable and saying do I even need to

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stick around in this life right so I

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don't want anybody else to feel that so

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it drove me to find answers not just for

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me once I found it for me I wanted to

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help as many people as I can but why I

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want to do it because I love love

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because when you help people that much I

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mean I have so much love my life it's

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ridiculous I get stopped on the street

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every day and people don't come up and

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say oh I like your show or something

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come up go you changed my life oh my God

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I love you Tony Robins and I always say

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no I didn't do it you did it but I'm

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glad I helped but I love the love that

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comes from it yeah so we all really want

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love but we're afraid we're not enough

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and you my friend you are growing like a

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weed right now cuz you're doing things

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most people never get out of and I'm not

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blowing smoke your way I'm not a

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[ __ ] no I don't feel I don't feel

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that man I appreciate you saying it yeah

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truth but you got to you got to notice

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your progress and you got you got to

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stack the good and then you got to stop

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the old story and the minute you start

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to say that phrase [ __ ] that's an

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old story it's not true anymore yeah I

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think a part of me is afraid that I'm

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going to leave a part of me like um if I

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you know if I even if I be successful so

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let's investigate that for a second like

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if I be successful I'm going to leave a

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part of me behind you know well then

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you're effed right now cuz you're

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already

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successful know you got I don't know how

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many millions of people I'm sure that

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watch your podcast you make people laugh

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all over the world you have people that

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ad

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sometimes but all those emotions are old

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habits they're just habits so I

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understand that and by the way when you

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feel embarrassed or you feel these

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negative emotions

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yeah it also makes you feel for yourself

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for a little bit so that's the other

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part you might be afraid of like some

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people take care of well like for some I

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don't know if this is you but some

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people are so busy trying to make

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everybody else happy all the time they

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don't take care of themselves unless

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it's a big ass problem and then for the

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first time even it's a negative feeling

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at least I'm feeling for myself I'm

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feeling for me and that might be what

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you're afraid of losing let's try it for

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a second here when if I told you you

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could go back and feel like [ __ ] as much

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as you want it'll never stop right but

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you don't have to have it be the

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predominant emotion of your

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life that you this need to beat yourself

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up or be ashamed or not be too happy

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that it's an old story that got wired a

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long time ago and it has nothing to do

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with who you really are but when you

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keep telling yourself it's like my

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friend I need take care of I'm lose a

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part of myself no you'll never lose that

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part there's a part of me that would be

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a victim very easily I was beat as a

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child my mom was a beautiful woman I'm

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not denigrating her but when she put but

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she put when she put alcohol together

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with prescription drugs she was crazy

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and I was 5-1 in high school believe it

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or not I'm 67 now I told people the

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difference I tell people the difference

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is personal growth right but I had a

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tumor in my brain that made me grow but

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I was this little guy she would slam my

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head against it she'd Put liquid soap

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down my throat cuz she said I was lying

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and I wasn't lying and when the person

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you love most is trying to hurt you you

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can do a number on your head but I look

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back now and fortunately I didn't let

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that stop me and I didn't settle for

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that I struggled for a long time I look

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back on her I can honestly tell you if

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she was the mother I'd hope she'd been

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like if I was wellfed you really think

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I'd be trying to feed a bill you know a

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tri not a billion people now I'm trying

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to feed a 100 billion people you think I

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would be spending my time doing that if

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I was a well-fed kid I don't think so if

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she had been the mother I want I

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wouldn't have become the man I'm proud

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to be yeah so those emotions are not you

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they were a part of your past they were

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a pattern it's a pattern of what you do

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with your body and breathe but it meets

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some of your needs to feel feel yourself

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or feel sorry for yourself or feel sad

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right you follow me it's like a

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self-pity thing a little bit but what

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you're really wanting is not self-pity

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you're wanting self-love you just

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haven't learned how to give it to

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yourself my way of doing that is

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gratitude because when you're grateful

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love flows naturally is that a common

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pattern that sometimes because I noticed

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over like a about two years ago I

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noticed that I one of my biggest

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addictions sometimes was self-pity I

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didn't even realize it I thought I was

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helping myself by like focusing on

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myself but really I'd been too I was

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feeling too pitiful yeah I I didn't it

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was it was man it was I realized my

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alcohol was self-pity anytime I also

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also alcohol is a depressant so what's

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going to do is lower it feels good in

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the moment but then it lowers your

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energy and your blood sugar everything

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right same for self-pity self pity same

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thing now your energy think about it

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self-pity if you're in self-pity right

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now 0 to 10 10 is total high energy

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Zero's no energy where are you in

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self-pity where would you put it oh two

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yeah where are you when you're feeling

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excited um where's my energy 0 to 10

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yeah uh my energy when I'm feeling

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excited is like a nine yeah which one do

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you want to be I'd rather be the nine

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yeah why the [ __ ] want it's just do that

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I

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know

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