The #1 REASON You're Single & Can't ATTRACT LOVE! | Joe Dispenza
Summary
TLDRThe script delves into the complexities of forming meaningful relationships, emphasizing that they should not require 'work' but rather be a celebration of life together. It explores the concept of emotional states, suggesting that our feelings and thoughts can influence our reality, and the importance of cultivating love and positivity to attract a healthy relationship. The speaker discusses the role of the heart as the center of creation, advocating for practicing love and openness to manifest desired experiences and relationships.
Takeaways
- ๐ Relationships should not feel like 'work'; if they do, it indicates a lack of natural connection.
- ๐ก Bringing your best self to a relationship is crucial for constructive interference and growth.
- ๐ค Self-reflection is essential when not at your best, asking if you're missing something or not seeing yourself clearly.
- ๐ซ Uninvited opinions in a relationship can be harmful; it's better to contribute when invited.
- ๐ Happiness is often mistaken for a loving relationship, but true happiness comes from within.
- ๐ง Thoughts and feelings create an electromagnetic signature that influences every aspect of your life.
- ๐ Negative emotions like anger or fear can weaken the body and make one a victim to their environment.
- ๐ญ The power of thought and emotion can condition the body and mind, potentially leading to physical manifestations of stress.
- ๐ Practicing elevated emotions and opening your heart is a skill that can lead to a more loving and fulfilling life.
- ๐ Being in the present moment and feeling love can change your biology and attract the experiences you desire.
- ๐ The heart is the center of creation; when open and activated, it can magnetize love and wholeness into your life.
Q & A
What is the fundamental question the speaker asks the CNN reporter about relationships?
-The fundamental question the speaker asks is 'Would you go out with you?', emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement in forming successful relationships.
Why does the speaker believe that working in a relationship is a sign of something being wrong?
-The speaker believes that if you're working in a relationship, it indicates that something is not clicking or right, suggesting that both parties should bring their best selves without feeling the need to put in extra effort to make the relationship work.
What does the speaker mean by 'constructive interference' in the context of relationships?
-'Constructive interference' refers to the positive interaction and growth that occurs when both individuals in a relationship are at their best and celebrating their life together.
According to the speaker, what is the role of thoughts and feelings in creating an electromagnetic signature that influences one's life?
-The speaker suggests that thoughts act as an electrical charge and feelings as a magnetic charge in the quantum field. This electromagnetic signature broadcasts an influence that affects every atom in one's life, attracting experiences that resonate with one's thoughts and feelings.
How does the speaker describe the impact of negative emotions on a person's ability to attract a loving relationship?
-The speaker explains that living in negative emotions like anger, hostility, judgment, or fear creates a magnetic field that is not conducive to attracting a loving relationship, as these emotions send out signals that are not aligned with love.
What does the speaker suggest is the reason most people are unable to feel love or open their hearts?
-The speaker suggests that most people are unable to feel love or open their hearts because they have been conditioned by past experiences and emotions, which have become subconscious programs that keep them stuck in survival emotions.
How does the speaker explain the connection between our emotional state and our physical health?
-The speaker explains that the long-term effects of stress hormones, which are often produced in response to negative emotions, can push genetic buttons that create disease. Essentially, our thoughts and emotional states can make us sick.
What is the significance of practicing elevated emotions and opening one's heart according to the speaker?
-Practicing elevated emotions and opening one's heart is significant because it allows a person to move out of survival mode and into a state of creation. This practice helps in resetting the baseline for trauma and creating a magnetic field that can attract positive experiences and relationships.
How does the speaker define the state of being 'in love with life' and its importance in attracting a loving relationship?
-The speaker defines being 'in love with life' as a state of wholeness and satisfaction in the present moment, which is essential for attracting a loving relationship. It implies being content and exuberant without needing anything external, thus creating a magnetic field of love that attracts the right relationship.
What is the role of the heart in the process of creating and attracting a loving relationship as described by the speaker?
-The heart, according to the speaker, is the center of creation. When activated by love and positive emotions, it produces a magnetic field that can attract a loving relationship. The heart's rhythmic beating sends a wave of energy to the brain, facilitating clear visions of the future and a state of creation.
How does the speaker view the concept of 'need' in the context of relationships?
-The speaker views 'need' as a state of lack, which is different from the state of attraction. Being in a state of need leads to grasping, controlling, and forcing, which are not conducive to healthy relationships. Instead, the speaker advocates for a state of wholeness where one is complete on their own and can give love freely.
Outlines
๐ก The Essence of Genuine Relationships
The speaker discusses the struggle of creating desired relationships and introduces the concept of not 'working' in a relationship. They emphasize that relationships should come naturally, with both parties being their best selves and celebrating life together. The speaker also touches on the idea of self-reflection, suggesting that if one is not at their best, they should step back and realign with their heart. They further delve into the quantum field, explaining how thoughts and feelings create an electromagnetic signature that influences one's life, and the importance of being in a state of love to attract a loving relationship.
๐ฑ Cultivating Love and Emotional Health
This paragraph explores the impact of thoughts and emotions on one's physical and emotional state. The speaker explains that negative emotions and stress hormones can lead to disease and imbalance in the body. They discuss the subconscious programming of negative emotions like resentment and fear, which can be challenging to overcome. The speaker advocates for the practice of love and elevated emotions to counteract these effects, emphasizing the importance of feeling love and safety in the present moment to create a healthy emotional state for future relationships.
๐ฎ The Power of Present Moment and Emotional Practice
The speaker delves into the concept of living in the present moment and the importance of emotional practice. They argue that by feeling love and gratitude in the present, individuals can create a magnetic field that attracts the desired future experiences. The paragraph discusses the coherence of brainwave patterns when one is in a state of love, which allows for a clearer vision of the future. The speaker also addresses the idea of 'remembering the future' as a means to change one's biology to reflect upcoming experiences.
โค๏ธ The Heart as the Center of Creation and Love
In this paragraph, the speaker highlights the heart as the center of creation and the importance of heart activation in manifesting love and wholeness in life. They discuss the physiological effects of love on the heart and brain, including the release of oxytocin and the creation of a magnetic field. The speaker emphasizes the contrast between being in a state of need versus attraction and how this impacts the ability to form healthy relationships. They conclude by stressing the importance of being whole and in love with life to attract a compatible partner.
๐ค The Dynamics of Wholeness in Relationships
The final paragraph focuses on the dynamics of relationships when both individuals are whole and not in a state of need or lack. The speaker explains that when two people come together from a place of wholeness, it creates a different kind of constructive interference, leading to a stronger and healthier relationship. They discuss the importance of giving from a place of abundance and the positive physiological effects of oxytocin release. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of nurturing love in relationships and the role of the heart in this process.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กRelationship
๐กConstructive Interference
๐กQuantum Field
๐กEmotional Reactions
๐กSurvival Emotions
๐กMagnetic Field
๐กElevated Emotions
๐กPresent Moment
๐กHeart
๐กOxytocin
Highlights
The fundamental question of why one can't create the desired relationship is addressed by a self-reflective approach.
The concept that no one should 'work' in a relationship is introduced, suggesting that if it feels like work, something is amiss.
The idea of constructive interference in relationships for growth and energy is discussed.
The importance of being at one's best in a relationship is emphasized to avoid picking apart the other person.
The role of self-awareness and introspection in understanding one's own shortcomings in a relationship is highlighted.
The true desire for happiness is identified as the underlying motive behind the pursuit of a loving relationship.
Meditations are proposed as a method to create love in various relationships, not just romantic ones.
The quantum field theory is applied to explain how thoughts and feelings influence one's reality.
The impact of negative emotions on creating a magnetic field that repels the desired loving relationship is discussed.
The notion of being a victim to external circumstances and how it affects one's emotional and mental state is explored.
The importance of elevating emotions and practicing heart opening as a skill for better relationships is emphasized.
The body's response to emotional states and how it can be conditioned by past experiences is explained.
The concept of the heart as the creative center and its role in manifesting love and future desires is introduced.
The idea that feeling love now can be a magnet for attracting future love is presented.
The role of oxytocin and other chemicals in creating a full and open heart for a loving relationship is discussed.
The difference between being in a state of need versus attraction in relationships and its impact on energy and frequency is explored.
The importance of wholeness and independence in oneself before entering a relationship is highlighted.
The protective and nurturing aspects of a loving relationship based on wholeness and not need or lack is discussed.
The transformative power of love and its ability to strengthen the immune system and overall well-being is presented.
Transcripts
i was at the establishment hotel in in
sydney and i was sitting with the cnn
reporter
and attractive woman and she said how do
how come i can't
create the relationship that i want and
i just was so over it
i just looked at her and i said let me
ask you a question
would you go out with you which is
really the fundamental question
so i have a couple theories about
relationships that i think are really
important and i i use the same exact
principles with my life
first of all i will never work in a
relationship and i don't think anybody
should work in relationship i think if
you're working in a relationship
something is not clicking something is
not right
but
if you bring your best
and the person that you're with brings
their best
and you celebrate your life together
then there's there's constructive
interference there's growth there's
energy
if you're not at your best and you show
up more than likely you're going to pick
someone or something apart
and it's better that you remove yourself
for a period of time and get back into
your heart
and present yourself at your best and so
if you're not there and you need a
mirror or reflection
then it's good to ask am i missing
something
am i not seeing myself in some way
and then there's a healthy conversation
when you're invited
but if you're not invited to contribute
your opinion then it's better off that
you don't right so people always say i
want a loving relationship but what they
really want is happiness really
so we we do these meditations uh to
create love in our lives and and it
could be love in uh
familiar relationships with your
siblings it could be with your parents
it could be with your friends or it
could be with a significant other
and so
if
thoughts
are the electrical charge in the quantum
field
and feelings are the magnetic charge in
the quantum field and how you think
and how you feel
broadcasts an electromagnetic signature
that influences every single atom in
your life the thought sends a signal out
and the feeling
is the magnetic field that draws the
event back to you right so if you're not
in a place where you're in love with
life
or in love with yourself or practicing
diminishing your emotional reactions to
certain people or conditions in your
life and you're living in anger or
hostility or judgment or fear and you
want a loving relationship
there is no magnetic field for you to
draw that to you
and in fact if you say to me well it's
that person or that circumstance
that's caused me to feel this way then i
would say
i mean that person or that circumstance
is controlling the way you feel
and the way you think
and anything that controls the way we
feel in the way we think we are victims
to right so most people are
unconsciously responding to the
conditions in their environment
experiencing emotions that are derived
from the hormones of stress
those emotions cause us to feel separate
from our dreams they heighten our senses
so if we can't see them it doesn't exist
the threat or the danger puts us in
emergency mode and we can think
positively
about the relationship we want we could
send the signal out into the field we
could have pictures we could have we
could remind ourselves of what it is but
if you're not drawing the experience
back to you
because your response to the environment
is actually weakening your organism it's
weakening your responses actually
weakening the body
then you will be as a victim more
vulnerable to the conditions in your
environment whatever large or small and
i'm talking about microorganisms as well
so if you wanted a true relationship
where it was fundamentally based on this
concept called love now let's talk about
that because we practice this a lot in
the work that we do
if you could truly begin to practice
trading those survival emotions every
day
for elevated emotions and you practiced
opening your heart
it's it's a it's a skill that has to
take place
where you move out of survival so people
say well i can't open my heart i don't i
can't feel love and i say well what do
you practice feeling
because whatever you practice feeling
you're feeling most of the time and that
feeling
could be guilt but you're so used to it
you wouldn't even know it's guilt it
just feels like you are most people
practicing a feeling are they just
reacting to how they feel well they're
they're they're reacting to their
external environment what's happening or
they're reacting to some stray thought
in their mind and every thought produces
a chemical so if they have an unhappy
thought they feel unhappy if they have a
judgmental thought it produces chemicals
that makes you feel polarized right so
how much does one thought
change your chemical
body oh that's an interesting question
so let's just let's put this on hold
here so so the stronger the emotions
that we feel
from the problems and conditions in our
life the more altered we feel inside of
us
the more we pay attention to what's
causing it outside of us so if you have
an event in your life an experience in
your life that has a strong emotional
charge to it and you don't feel like
your normal self you feel this alarm
system switch on
you're going to narrow your focus on the
cause and the brain is going to take a
snapshot and that's called a long-term
memory right
so then what people don't know is that
every time they think about
that event
they're producing the same chemistry in
their brain and body as if the event was
occurring at that moment in that moment
so the highly charged event
is actually producing the emotion and
the body is so objective
that it doesn't know the difference
between the real experience that's
creating the emotion and the emotion
that the person is fabricating by
thought alone the body's believing
it's so objective it's believing it's in
the same environmental experience so the
strong the highly charged emotional
events you you some people think of
their ex and the thought of that person
makes them sick makes them feel out of
balance
so and i one image one thought in their
mind makes them feel out of bounds so
all you need is an image
and an emotion
a thought and a feeling a stimulus and a
response and you're conditioning your
body
emotionally into the past so now the
memories and this just not in the brain
now it's in the body okay so now that
thought of that person
is actually creating a response in the
body that's consuming the body's energy
for growth and repair consuming the
body's energy
to create because in survival it's not a
time to create in survival it's time to
run fight and hide so the problem is is
that it becomes a subconscious program
it's no longer
a conscious process
it now is a subconscious process so now
the body has been conditioned into
resentment
into unhappiness into fear anxiety
whatever it is and so she's back to our
concept of bringing love into your life
so you say to that person okay open your
heart and they're gonna say
are you kidding me i was injured i was
hurt i'm not gonna do that i'm gonna let
me see your cards first right okay and
once i see your cards then i'll pray
then i'll open up a little bit so so we
protect this right
so now in in that state of survival
the the research shows that the
long-term effects of those stress
hormones are pushing the genetic buttons
that are creating disease the body can't
live in emergency mode for that period
of time so in a sense
the person
is making themselves sick
by thought alone
their thoughts are making them sick
literally
so
the problem is is now the body is
conditioned into the past and it's the
mind now once the body body is the mind
the body becomes the mind emotionally so
now all of this energy is stored in the
body and now the person now has to leave
their unhappiness
and step out into the unknown they have
to get out of the familiar feelings that
has has defined them
so they'll say i can't really feel joy i
can't really feel love and what they're
really saying is
i've i've been conditioning my body
emotionally so much into the past that i
can't feel anything else other than what
i know anger resentment pain suffering
psychology calls those normal human
states of consciousness those are
altered states of consciousness so
normal states of consciousness are
these kind of negative feelings no i'm
saying that those states of survival
people say anger fear those are normal
things no those are those are in
survival those are altered states your
the survival chemicals are actually
knocking your brain and body out of
balance you're out of balance in that
moment and if you keep doing that
the imbalance is now the new balance
and now you're altered emotionally
so back to the concept of love
so the person can theoretically
intellectually
philosophically say oh i want this type
of person
she's got to be this way he's got to
look this way he's got to be like this
and they're basically saying
i want something that represents all the
things that i no longer want
right
and so they're creating with their brain
and mind which is perfect
the problem is is that if you can't feel
the emotion of your future
your manifestation of love before it's
made manifest like people say well well
when my relationship hat when i find mr
right then i'm going to feel love
waiting for the outer environment to
change
to take away this feeling of anger
resentment emptiness
but they forgot that they create reality
in other words when it finally appears
that i'm going to feel love that's
that's cause and effect we're waiting
for something to happen if you're
feeling the lack and the emptiness
then you're keeping your relationship at
arm's length because you don't have the
magnetic field to draw to you
so
the emotions that come from these energy
centers the lower energy centers in our
body do have frequencies there's
chemistry involved
but they have a different agenda
so now we ask the person
can you teach
your body emotionally
what the future will feel like before
it's made manifest that means you can't
wait for your relationship to feel love
you have to reverse that battleship and
understand feeling love now is going to
be the magnet and if you can hold the
vision of your future a clear intention
with a coherent brain
organize signals into the field and you
could actually crack this thing open
and
getting so present in the moment
that you're not anticipating the next
moment or trying to predict the future
and you're no longer romancing the
emotions of your past you can find that
sweet spot of the generous present
moment the familiar past is the known
emotionally the predictable future is
the habituation of autopilot being
unconscious in programs those are both
knowns there's only one place where the
unknown exists that's the present moment
so if you could work with your body
to the point that it trusts you enough
to feel so safe
that you have conquered it in a certain
way that it could actually relax into
the present moment and it's not worried
about what's going to happen next or
what's going on around around you or
that you need to eat you need to pee you
need to move you got beyond all your
drives and you're you're ready to create
that moment where you're present
if you could begin to
work with your heart
and start to breathe and start to
practice feeling love in the beginning
it would feel foolish or gratitude why
would i feel love if it hasn't happened
well that's because you've been
hypnotized into waiting for your world
to change to feel feel the emotion from
the experience
but according to the quantum model
your emotion ahead of the experience
when you combine that clear intention
with the elevated emotion
and you feel love your body's so
objective
that it's actually believing it's living
in that future
in the present moment and your body now
is beginning to change
you are beginning to change your biology
to reflect
what you're about to experience in your
future
so the stronger the
love you feel the more altered you feel
inside of you the more you're going to
pay attention to that picture in your
mind stimulus response memory emotion
thought and feeling but now you're
remembering your future
instead of remembering your past and
biologically it's actually the same how
do we
remembering your future as opposed to
remembering your past right it's the
same thing biologically the body
experiences the same way by thinking and
imagining something that hasn't happened
yet but it will happen okay well and
imagining something vividly from the
past that happened sometimes our brains
trick ourselves in thinking it happened
a different way doesn't it yeah but
that's that's incidental it's none of
your business how it happened
in fact
i interpreted it exactly it's your
perception right so
so then the stronger the emotion you
feel from some outer experience in your
life the more altered you feel the more
the brain freezes the frame and takes a
snapshot well now you're freezing a
frame in the outer environment but if
you're truly in the present moment and
you know exactly what you want
and you
begin to teach your body emotion start
practicing opening that heart it's
amazing what happens
the moment that heart begins to open
we've measured this so many times lewis
on a on a scan on a real-time brain scan
when the heart moves into this kind of
rhythm when you're feeling
frustration
when you're feeling impatient when
you're feeling resentment you are
stepping on the gas pedal and you're
stepping on the brake at the same time
and the heart is pumping against the
closed system and it causes an erratic
beat it becomes incoherent and energy
literally leaves the heart now you no
longer believe in your future you can't
put your heart into your future you
can't trust the outcome because there's
no energy there it's it's being used and
consumed somewhere else so energy is
leaving the brain as well
but once energy starts to move into the
heart we've seen this so many times and
it starts to beat in this rhythm like
banging a drum or dropping a pebble in
water pebble after pebble the heart
begins to create a wave of energy right
to the brain like like taking a big
sheet
and going like that and then all of a
sudden you see this wave and the brain
gets this rush of energy and that change
in brain wave patterns that change that
wave is carrying information
and the person starts to get a very
clear idea they see their future very
clearly now now that energy is causing
them to move into very coherent alpha
brainwave patterns which is the state of
creation this is when you no longer hear
the voice in your head that's talking to
you that you listen to and believe is
the truth i'm not good enough yeah
whatever that is
that's called the default mode it
suppresses the default mode network and
the next thing you know
you start seeing in pictures and images
you start dreaming
and that's the imagination that's the
creative state so now you start
naturally imagining the heart is the
creative center we've got to put our
heart into our future it better be open
and activated
so now when you start falling in love
with your future
oxytocin is released in the brain and in
the heart oxytocin signals nitric oxide
nitric oxide signals another chemical
called endothelial derived relaxing
factor and just like when your sexual
organs get filled with blood because
you're aroused the same thing happens
here as it would happen somewhere else
and literally the arteries in the heart
and lungs engorge and now your heart
feels full and it's thumping in order
and you're
in the present moment now once that
happens and it's beating in rhythm the
heart produces an external magnetic
field up to three meters wide now you're
in survival you're drawing from the
field and turning into chemistry when
you get energy in the heart it's causing
a change in the brain
and all of a sudden it's resetting the
baseline for trauma
and now here you have a magnetic field
now the heart
is your magnet it is it is the center of
creation and now that that energy is
frequency
and frequency carries information and
you can lay the thought of your new
relationship
on that energy because it's consistent
with it you cannot
lay the
thought of your new relationship in need
that's a different energy what do you
mean in need well if you're feeling
needing
that's a different energy what happens
when you're in a need state as opposed
to an attraction state well you're in
lack so now you're trying you're
grasping you're controlling you're
forcing you're trying to predict you're
overthinking over analyzing and that's
how people live their relationships so
then if you are going to prepare your
brain and body
for a new relationship
then you would have to become love
completely every day and that signal
then that you're sending out into the
field can carry the thought of your
health your wealth your relationship or
whatever but here's the cool part
when the heart is activated like that
and you feel so whole so in love with
life
so satisfied in the moment so exuberant
that it's impossible
to want
now you're no longer in lack now you're
so whole that you will magnetize
wholeness in your life the person who's
the person that fits the mold
energetically that would be the same as
you and yet compliment you so that the
two can become one right and then
instead of in contrast
in union you exchange
information
equal to that emotional state in other
words
people use each other to reaffirm their
their dependence on certain emotions you
have certain people you complain with
about politics or whatever they complain
back about their lives and you use each
other to reaffirm you know some type of
belief or something belief about life
emotionally you have emotional
agreements on things well that that
emotion
is energy and energy is frequency and
frequency areas information so you share
the same energy you share the same
information but that's
what people do in their lives but now in
a true loving relationship
when you're truly in your heart then the
question is what would love do
in the relationship and when your heart
is open
it's no longer about you
it's about how
i feel so amazing with you i feel even
more amazing but without you i'm still
whole
and so now i'm no longer in need or lack
and so now when we get together and our
fields interfere when they start
interfering now the amplitude gets white
higher there's way more energy and now i
mean i'm i'm all about all seven centers
of the body lining up all of them and
we're here in a body let's enjoy it all
but come from love
and so now your heart is so open
that you can't do anything else but give
you feel so amazing you're so happy with
yourself so happy with your life so
happy with what you have you want other
people to feel the same way
and you say here take that and when you
give now guess what happens you release
more oxytocin more nitric oxide and more
of those chemicals that cause the heart
to swell even more then all of a sudden
your immune system gets stronger and all
of a sudden your body starts feeling
better you start having more energy and
now
the constructive interference between
two people that are coming together in
wholeness
and no longer dependence
or lack or separation or need
is a different game so then
what they do
to protect
to nurture
to grow
to evolve that love
is one of the most important things that
they have not because they're doing it
out of obligation or because they're
married or whatever it's just they can't
not do it the minute
you have a relationship you have an
expectation
that expectation means
that you want something
love closeness intimacy partnership you
know business affiliation you name it
creates dependence that dependence means
that
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