Why Apple Vision Pro Will Fail Horribly

Summary

The script depicts a satirical promotional video for the fictional Apple Vision Pro, an extremely expensive virtual reality headset. The presenter humorously highlights impractical features like requiring an iPhone to purchase and limited battery life, while evading questions about practical use cases. Through excessive hype and vagueness, the video parodies Apple's tendency to market flashy new products regardless of their actual utility or value.

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Q & A

What product is Sam Tucker presenting in the video?

Sam is presenting the new Apple Vision Pro augmented reality headset.

How much does the base model of the Apple Vision Pro cost?

The base model costs $3,500.

What devices do you need in order to use the Apple Vision Pro?

You need an iPhone to pre-order the headset and a Mac computer to run full computer apps on it.

What kind of apps will the Apple Vision Pro be compatible with?

It will be compatible with at least 12,000 apps, but Sam does not specify which apps those are.

How long is the battery life of the Apple Vision Pro?

It has about 2 hours of battery life.

Why does Sam say that the product is 'really just for the Apple superfans'?

Because you need multiple Apple devices already to make full use of the headset, so it appeals most to people deeply invested in the Apple ecosystem.

What does Sam mean when he calls the user a '$1000 stand'?

He's referring to the $999 Apple Pro Stand that was criticized for its high price. When using the headset to display Mac apps, the user essentially becomes an expensive stand.

How has Apple's marketing for the product been 'evasive', according to Sam?

The marketing uses vague language about the product's capabilities and focuses more on imaginative visuals than concrete details.

Why does Sam joke that his FaceTime callers will see him as an 'NPC from Skyrim'?

Because to them he will look like an expressionless 3D avatar instead of his real face.

What virtual keyboard feature does Sam demonstrate at the end?

He demonstrates the ability to type on a virtual keyboard that is projected in front of him by the headset.

Outlines

00:00

🤓 Explaining the Features and Limitations of the Apple Vision Pro Headset

The paragraph introduces Apple presenter Sam Tucker, who puts on the new Apple Vision Pro headset to demonstrate and explain its features. He notes it has a high price tag, compatibility with some but not all popular apps, powerful processing capabilities, and limited battery life. There is humor regarding the evasive Apple marketing.

Keywords

💡Apple Vision Pro

The Apple Vision Pro is a new virtual reality headset released by Apple. It is portrayed in the video as an overpriced and unnecessary product that Apple is marketing aggressively to its loyal fans. The video pokes fun at how the Vision Pro is compatible with barely any apps on release and needs other Apple devices like an iPhone just to function properly.

💡Virtual Reality

Virtual reality (VR) refers to computer-generated simulations of 3D environments that users can interact with in an immersive way using headsets and other equipment. The Apple Vision Pro is a VR headset that aims to provide an immersive visual experience, though the video mocks its limited capabilities.

💡Overpriced

Overpriced means something is sold at a price higher than its real value. The video repeatedly suggests the Apple Vision Pro is overpriced at $3,500, given its lack of capabilities and compatibility.

💡Marketing

Marketing refers to promotional activities meant to sell a product or service. The video criticizes Apple's marketing of the Vision Pro as evasive and misleading, meant to attract Apple loyalists rather than showcase the product's merits.

💡Battery Life

Battery life refers to how long a device can run before needing to be recharged. The video jokes that the Vision Pro has a very limited battery life of only 2 hours, highlighting its impracticality.

💡Compatibility

Compatibility refers to whether devices and software are designed to work together smoothly. The video points out the Vision Pro's lack of compatibility with most apps and its reliance on other Apple products to function properly.

💡Evasive

Evasive means avoiding giving direct answers or information. The video describes Apple's marketing of the Vision Pro as evasive, because it avoids clearly explaining what the product actually does.

💡Misleading

Misleading means giving the wrong idea or impression about something. The video implies Apple's marketing is misleading by promoting the Vision Pro in an unclear way.

💡Loyalists

Loyalists refers to devoted, loyal supporters and fans of a brand. The video suggests the Vision Pro is mostly targeted at Apple loyalists willing to buy any product the company releases.

💡Merits

Merits refer to the real advantages, benefits, or strengths of something. The video implies Apple's marketing fails to properly showcase the merits and capabilities of the Vision Pro.

Highlights

The assistant CLAUDE has access to the current date Friday, February 2, 2024

The Apple Vision Pro is just an iPad attached to your face and costs $3,500

The Apple Vision Pro will only be compatible with about 12 apps on launch

You need an iPhone just to pre-order the Apple Vision Pro

Apple's marketing for the product has been evasive with no clear description

Apple sold out all pre-orders despite the high price and lack of details

The Apple Vision Pro has a battery life of only 2 hours

The product is aimed at hardcore Apple fans willing to buy anything

Using the Apple Vision Pro makes you look like an NPC from Skyrim

The Apple Vision Pro can act as a display for a Mac computer

Apple Vision Pro allows virtual keyboard by just pointing at a surface

Main benefit is seeing friends smiles and laugh on video calls

Unclear what the product is really good for besides dedicated Apple fans

High price of $3,500 for base model despite limited capabilities

Pre-orders sold out quickly despite little details and high price

Transcripts

all right time to put on this very

expensive headset to see just how

magical the world would look like if I

put an iPad in front of my face oh wow

it's twice as good and only five times

the price oh hi there I'm Sam Tucker

from Apple and with the pre-orders for

the Apple Vision Pro underway I thought

it was good as time as any to see where

your money is going oh wow it's so

realistic so when the iPad was released

it was compatible with approximately 3

3,000 apps and the Apple Vision Pro will

be compatible with at least 12 oo so

would you like to know what these

so-called compatible apps are well don't

worry it'll just cost you $3500 to find

out because I'm not saying well all

right I can confirm that Netflix

Bloomberg and Spotify won't be available

so don't enjoy that but don't worry the

Apple vision is a lot more than just IP

pads for your eyes as it comes with an

M2 series chip which is powerful enough

to run full computer apps it won't but

it could no to run full computer apps

you will still need a Mac and the Apple

Vision Pro will act just like a display

for that Mac which I guess makes you the

$1000 stand now yeah what can I say this

one's really just for the Apple super

fans and we made sure of that as you

will literally need an iPhone just to

pre-order the thing that's just

incredible ah but don't worry about all

the money you'll be spending instead get

in touch with your inner self and become

mindful in the way that only attaching a

computer to your face can achieve inhale

appreciation exhale money bet it feel

good about yourself by talking to your

poor of friends on FaceTime and see them

laugh and smile almost as if they're in

the the room with you they on the other

hand will be looking at your soulless

Emoji as if you're some sort of NPC from

Skyrim or something stop right there

criminal scum nobody breaks the law on

my watch all right well I really better

get to the point cuz this thing only has

about 2 hours of battery in it so you're

probably a little confused as to what

this product is really any good for

especially since our marketing has been

a little bit evasive to say the least

such as for example we used to whole 23

words just to describe how we call the

thing with none of those words actually

being fan now that's impressive or just

have a look at our latest ad for the

thing that's 20 seconds of old movies

only 5 Seconds of actual product

followed by 13 seconds of black screen

oh I get it the battery did run out

whoops sorry about that the all new

Apple Vision Pro you might think we're

crazy for charging $3,500 for the base

model Until you realize we sold out what

the subscribe to D oh I just had a great

idea oh let me make a note I'll just put

this on here and plug that in the back

there okay virtual

keyboard g r e a t wow I'm glad I spent

3500 on this