Do You Have the “Agreeableness” Personality Trait?

Summary

The script discusses the complex personality trait of agreeableness, contrasting it with neuroticism and extroversion. It highlights the positive and negative aspects associated with different levels of agreeableness, emphasizing the importance of compassion and politeness. The speaker also explores the implications of agreeableness in professional settings, such as salary negotiations and leadership roles, and notes the gender differences in this trait.

Takeaways

• 😐 Agreeableness is a complex personality dimension often confused with neuroticism and extroversion due to its association with being easy or hard to get along with.
• 🤔 The trait of agreeableness is divided into two aspects: compassion and politeness, which are generally perceived as positive but can have negative counterparts.
• 📊 Agreeableness is normally distributed, with positive and negative features at every point on the distribution, challenging the notion of one trait being universally better than another.
• 📝 The Big Five personality test includes questions to gauge agreeableness, such as interest in others' problems and willingness to take advantage of others.
• 👥 Women tend to be more agreeable than men, with significant differences at the extremes of the distribution, affecting societal outcomes like prison rates.
• 💼 Being agreeable can be advantageous in team settings and in giving credit to others, but it may come at the cost of not effectively advocating for one's own interests.
• 💰 Agreeableness is negatively correlated with salary over time, suggesting that those who are less agreeable may be more successful in negotiating higher pay.
• 💁‍♀️ Women may be particularly affected by the downsides of high agreeableness, including lower pay and underestimation of their own value in business settings.
• 🤝 High agreeableness can lead to conflict avoidance and a desire to be liked, which can be a double-edged sword in positions of authority.
• 🔄 The balance between being agreeable and disagreeable is crucial for successful negotiation and career advancement.
• 🧐 Self-perception, especially for those high in negative emotion, can impact negotiation outcomes, with agreeable individuals potentially undervaluing their contributions.

Q & A

What is the personality dimension discussed in the script?

The personality dimension discussed in the script is 'agreeableness'.

Why is agreeableness considered a difficult personality dimension to understand?

Agreeableness is considered difficult to understand because it is hard to dissociate from neuroticism and extroversion, and both agreeable and disagreeable traits can manifest in behaviors that may seem similar to those traits.

What are the two main aspects of agreeableness mentioned in the script?

The two main aspects of agreeableness mentioned are compassion and politeness.

How does the script suggest that agreeableness is related to neuroticism?

The script suggests that when emotions flare in contentious issues, it usually has more to do with trait neuroticism than with disagreeableness per se.

What does the script imply about the distribution of agreeableness traits?

The script implies that agreeableness traits are normally distributed, with both positive and negative features at every point on the distribution.

What is the average difference in agreeableness between men and women according to the script?

Women are more agreeable than men by about half a standard deviation.

How does the script relate agreeableness to salary and career progression?

The script suggests that being agreeable can negatively predict salary over time, as agreeable people may not be as effective at putting forward their own interests, which can impact their earning potential and career advancement.

What is the potential downside of being agreeable in a business setting according to the script?

The potential downside is that agreeable people may not be as good at advocating for their own interests, which can lead to less opportunity for promotion and revenue generation.

How does the script differentiate between the agreeable and disagreeable ends of the trait distribution?

The script differentiates by suggesting that agreeable people are more likely to bargain on behalf of others, while disagreeable people are more focused on their own interests.

What is the script's view on the importance of extremes in the distribution of agreeableness?

The script views the extremes as important because they often matter more than what's in the middle, with all the most agreeable people being women and all the most disagreeable people being men.

How does the script relate agreeableness to conflict avoidance?

The script suggests that agreeable people are conflict avoidant, as they are primarily motivated by maintaining intimate positive relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Understanding Agreeableness and Its Complexity

The first paragraph delves into the intricacies of the personality trait 'agreeableness,' discussing its difficulty to comprehend due to its overlap with neuroticism and extroversion. It highlights agreeableness as a spectrum with both positive and negative aspects, rather than a simple virtue or vice. The paragraph introduces the concept of agreeableness being divided into compassion and politeness, and it emphasizes the importance of recognizing that traits are normally distributed, meaning every point on the spectrum has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. It also touches on the gender differences in agreeableness, noting that women are generally more agreeable than men, and this difference is particularly pronounced at the extremes of the distribution.

05:01

💼 The Impact of Agreeableness on Professional Life

The second paragraph explores the implications of agreeableness in professional settings, particularly in terms of salary and career progression. It suggests that agreeable individuals, who are often good team players and give credit to others, may struggle to assert their own interests, which can negatively affect their salary over time. The paragraph also discusses the tendency of agreeable people to avoid conflict and the challenges this presents in negotiations and leadership roles. Furthermore, it points out that women, who are generally more agreeable, may underestimate their own value in business due to a higher inclination towards negative emotions, which can impact their success in negotiations and promotions.

Keywords

💡Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a personality trait that reflects an individual's tendency to be compassionate, cooperative, and considerate towards others. In the video, it is discussed as a complex dimension that is often misunderstood and is distinct from neuroticism and extroversion. The script highlights that agreeableness encompasses both compassion and politeness, and it is associated with being interested in other people's problems and caring about their well-being.

💡Conscientiousness

Although not extensively discussed in the script, conscientiousness is mentioned as one of the 'Big Five' personality traits. It generally refers to an individual's level of organization, responsibility, and goal-oriented behavior. The script suggests that agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness are important dimensions of personality, but the main focus is on agreeableness.

💡Neuroticism

Neuroticism is a personality trait characterized by emotional instability and a tendency to experience negative emotions. The script differentiates agreeableness from neuroticism, noting that while agreeable people may be easy to get along with, those high in neuroticism can be volatile and irritable, which can lead to conflicts.

💡Extroversion

Extroversion is a personality trait that involves being outgoing, sociable, and enjoying the company of others. The script mentions that agreeable people might be mistakenly associated with extroversion because they are likable, but the two traits are distinct. Disagreeable people might be perceived as introverted due to their difficulty in getting along with others.

💡Trait Normal Distribution

The trait normal distribution refers to the statistical distribution of a particular trait within a population, with most individuals falling near the average and fewer at the extremes. The script uses this concept to explain that agreeableness, like other personality traits, is normally distributed, with positive and negative aspects at every point along the distribution.

💡Compassion

Compassion is a key component of agreeableness, as it involves empathy and concern for the suffering of others. The script mentions that being interested in other people's problems and caring about their well-being are signs of compassion, which is a positive aspect of agreeableness.

💡Politeness

Politeness is another aspect of agreeableness, reflecting a person's consideration and respect for others in social interactions. The script uses the example of respecting authority as an indicator of politeness, which is part of being agreeable.

💡Disagreeableness

Disagreeableness is the opposite of agreeableness, characterized by a lack of concern for others and a focus on one's own interests. The script discusses how disagreeable people might take advantage of others and be less compassionate, which can lead to conflicts and a lack of cooperation.

💡Gender Differences

The script highlights that women, on average, are more agreeable than men, with about half a standard deviation difference. This is significant because it affects how individuals interact in social and professional settings, with implications for behaviors such as negotiation and leadership.

💡Negotiation

Negotiation is a process where parties discuss and compromise to reach an agreement. The script discusses how agreeableness can impact negotiation skills, suggesting that more agreeable individuals might be less effective in advocating for their own interests, potentially leading to lower salaries and fewer promotions.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility is a concept related to the willingness to take on obligations and duties. The script mentions that as individuals climb the business hierarchy, they must take on more responsibility, which can be challenging for agreeable people who value maintaining positive relationships and might struggle with the unpleasant aspects of authority.

Highlights

Agreeableness is a complex personality dimension difficult to understand, often confused with neuroticism and extroversion.

Agreeable people are likable, but this trait is not synonymous with extroversion or emotional stability.

Disagreeable people can be perceived as hard to get along with, similar to those high in neuroticism, but for different reasons.

Agreeableness is characterized by two main aspects: compassion and politeness.

The trait of agreeableness is normally distributed, with both positive and negative features at every point on the scale.

Agreeableness is associated with a range of questions from the Big Five personality test, providing insight into an individual's tendencies.

Being interested in other people's problems is a sign of compassion, a facet of agreeableness.

Agreeableness is not merely a virtue; it has trade-offs, and being disagreeable is not entirely negative.

Women, on average, score higher in agreeableness than men, with significant implications for societal roles and expectations.

Extremes of agreeableness and disagreeableness are more pronounced and impactful than the average levels.

Low agreeableness is a strong predictor of criminal behavior, with a higher prevalence among men in prison.

The concept of agreeableness can be understood through the lens of trading games, where one's bargaining strategy reflects their level of agreeableness.

Agreeable individuals may struggle to assert their interests, which can negatively impact their salary and career progression.

Women's higher agreeableness may contribute to the gender pay gap and underestimation of their own value in business settings.

Agreeable people's desire to be liked can make them conflict avoidant, which may affect their performance in positions of authority.

Striking a balance between agreeableness and assertiveness is crucial for effective negotiation and career advancement.

The transcript emphasizes the importance of understanding the nuances of agreeableness for personal development and societal interactions.

Transcripts

agreeableness conscientiousness and

openness we're going to talk about

agreeableness today agreeableness is a

very difficult personality Dimension to

understand I think partly because it's

difficult to dissociate from neuroticism

and and as well from

extroversion because agreeable people

like you and so that kind of sounds like

extroversion and disagreeable people

sound like they're hard to get along

with and they sort of are but people who

are high in neuroticism are hard to get

along with too and they tend to be

volatile and irritable and so most of

the time if you're engaged in a

contentious issue with someone and

emotions flare it usually has more to do

with trait neuroticism than with

disagreeableness per se so what I'm

going to do is try to describe to you

what the agreeable trait is on both of

its dimensions and also to lay out the

pros and cons of existence on that

normal distribution trait normal

distribution at more or less every point

because I think my the way I look at it

anyways is that of all the traits

agreeableness is the one that seems to

come with the most marked positive and

negative aspects features let's say so

we don't confuse it with aspects the

most positive and negative features at

each point on the distribution it's a

very complex seems to be a very very

complex Dimension so I'll read you some

of the questions from the big five

aspect scale and that'll give you kind

of a initial uh rule of thumb estimate

about whether or not you're agreeable or

disagreeable and so here here are some

of the questions U imagine that you're

answering these for yourself on a scale

from 1 to five strongly disagree to

strongly agree so the first question

is am not interested in other people's

problems so if you are interested in

other people's problems that tilts you

towards agreeableness and I believe

that's a agreeableness is divided into

compassion and politeness which also

sound like very positive things right

because everyone wants to be

compassionate and everyone wants to be

polite and so you might say well is is

that a virtue are those virtues with the

other end being actually negative to be

not compassionate not polite it's

certainly worded that way and that's

actually a mistake because we know that

these traits are normally distributed

roughly speaking right and that that

means that there has to be positive and

and negative features at every single

position on the distribution and so to

make the make the presupposition for

example that being extroverted is being

better than being introverted or that

being emotionally stable is necessarily

better than being neurotic is to make a

a kind of a Kind a confusion of of moral

uh what obligation with trait with with

trait position you have to assume that

there's advantages and disadvantage all

all the way along or or the distribution

wouldn't have set itself up that way

especially because these seems seem to

be biologically instantiated traits so

anyways um if you're interested in other

people's problems they like to unburden

themselves to you you care about it

that's a mark of compassion if you're

more or less indifferent to other

people's stupid problems and you wish

they just get on with it uh then you're

less compassionate you're harsher and

and more and more um well at the Extreme

More

kous ah let's

see respect authority that's politeness

that's part of

agreeableness

um rarely let's see

where feel others emotions

compassion inquire about others

well-being

compassion can't be bothered with others

needs take advantage of others that's

disagreeable

obviously sympathize with others

feelings avoid void imposing my will on

others wait for others to lead the way

okay I think I I think all of those were

associated with trait agreeableness or

disagreeableness so let's let's think

about this for a minute so I'm going to

tell you how I conceptualize

agreeableness the first thing you want

to know is that women are more agreeable

than men about half a standard deviation

and that's approximately enough so that

if you took a random male and a random

female out of the population and you

tried to guess who was more agreeable

and you guessed the female you'd be

right about 60% of the time so and but

what what what's interesting about that

and this is something also to keep in

mind is about normal distributions you

know so imagine you have a normal

distribution so that most people are in

the middle and then you have another

normal distribution male and female and

mostly they overlap but you see out here

and out here they don't overlap at all

and so even though on average men and

women don't just don't aren't that much

different in terms of their levels of

agreeable by the group if you go out and

you look at the extremes they're very

different so all of the most agreeable

people are women and all of the most

disagreeable people are men and the

thing is the extremes are often what

matter rather than what's in the middle

and so one of the ways that's reflected

in in society by the way is there's way

more men in prison and the best

personality predictor of being impr

prisoned is to be low and agreeableness

it makes you callous now you might think

well what's the opposite of compassion

and politeness and the answer to that is

I think it's best sort of conceptualized

as a as a trading game so let's say that

we're going to play repeated trading

games and if you're very agreeable then

you're going to bargain harder on my

behalf than you're going to bargain on

your own behalf whereas if you're very

disagreeable you're going to do the

reverse you're going to think I'm in

this trading game for me and you are

going to take care of your own interests

where an agreeable person is going to

say no no at best this is at at worst

this has to be 50/50 but I'd like to

help you every way I can okay now the qu

okay so you kind of you kind of

understand that now the advantage to

being agreeable then is that you're good

in teams and you're very much likely to

give other people credit the bad the

downside of being agreeable is that

you're not very good at putting forward

your own interests and so one of the

things that predicts salary across time

for example is agreeable to us and it

predicts it negatively and so it's part

of the reason why women get paid less

than men and this is something for the

women in the class to really listen to

because you how you get paid across time

depends on a very large number of things

right it depends on your skills and your

abilities and your position and your

social network and all of that but the

other thing it depends on is whether or

not you actually go ask for money or

maybe that you don't even ask because

actually you don't ask for money you

tell people that you need to be paid

more or something they don't like will

happen and I don't mean as a threat I

mean that you have to be willing when

you're negotiating to have an

alternative you go talk to your boss who

isn't going to give you money because

everyone wants money right it's a

competitive game you're going to have to

be you're going to have to go there and

say look here's what I do here's why

it's useful here's why you have to give

me more money and this is my

opportunities if you don't and then

you're not taking your boss's money

anyways because it's very s very

frequently the case that he's working

for a whopping big company but he needs

an excuse to give you money because

everyone's asking for money all the time

and so you have to put your case forward

powerfully and disagreeably now you

don't want to do it too disagreeably

because then he's going to think that

you're a son of a and maybe he's

not going to give you anything and maybe

you'll get fired for being mouthy and

all of that and that certainly happens

to people who are too disagreeable you

got to get the balance right but it's

definitely the case and the other thing

that happens to women that's also worth

noting and this is probably because

they're higher in negative emotion is

they tend to underestimate their own

utility in business settings right

because if you're trying to evaluate

what you're like and you're more tilted

towards negative emotion then the things

that you do that are wrong are going to

stand out more more on the foreground

than the things that you do that are

right so if you go into a negotiation

and you're uncertain already because you

have self-doubts and then you're

agreeable in the negotiation what's

going to happen is that you're not going

to win as often and winning in in a

business setting or in a career

development setting means more

opportunity for promotion and more

revenue generated now the downside of

that of course is as you climb the

business hierarchy is that you also have

to take on more responsibility and that

responsibility is sometimes unpleasant

as well especially to people who are

agreeable because you're not necessarily

liked if you're in a position of

authority and agreeable people really

like to be liked it's their primary

motiv motivator because they're

concerned about the maintenance I would

say of of of of intimate positive

relationships that also makes them

conflict

[Music]

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