Being Confident Isn't That Hard,Really

Summary

This video script explores the nature of confidence and its absence, suggesting that overthinking flaws and lack of exposure are at the core of low self-assurance. The speaker shares a personal journey from social anxiety to self-improvement, outlining seven strategies for boosting confidence: character building, knowledge acquisition, exposure to experiences, self-care, planning, mastery of skills, and reframing expectations. The message encourages viewers to actively shape their identity and take control of their lives to foster genuine self-confidence.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Lack of confidence is often a result of high self-awareness and low exposure to new experiences, leading to overthinking one's flaws.
• 📚 Knowledge is power; it can directly influence one's confidence by providing the understanding to handle challenges effectively.
• 🚀 Exposure and experience are crucial for building confidence; facing fears and gradually increasing interactions with the feared object reduces anxiety over time.
• 💼 Self-care is vital for confidence; how one presents themselves, including appearance and behavior, impacts how they feel and are perceived by others.
• 📝 The value of planning is significant for confidence; having a strategy for approaching situations can reduce mistakes and enhance performance.
• 🏆 Mastery is essential for genuine confidence; being truly good at something provides a strong, lasting sense of self-assurance.
• 🔄 Flipping the frame involves changing one's perspective on outcomes and expectations, which can alleviate the pressure that undermines confidence.
• 💡 Confidence is a combination of internal and external factors; feeling good about oneself on the inside and presenting well on the outside are both important.
• 🛠 Building a character involves deciding who you want to be and working on the necessary areas to present that image to the world.
• 🧘‍♂️ Self-worth and confidence are intertwined; understanding and accepting oneself can lead to a more confident persona.
• 🌟 Creating a purpose-driven life can help in building and maintaining confidence, as it provides a 'why' that propels one forward even in the face of resistance.

Q & A

What is often considered as a combination of high self-awareness and low exposure according to the script?

Lack of confidence is often considered as a combination of high self-awareness and low exposure, meaning people overthink their flaws while not exposing themselves to new experiences.

How did the speaker's personal journey with social anxiety manifest during their teenage years?

The speaker's personal journey with social anxiety was characterized by immense struggles with social interactions, feeling like every step was on a public stage, and experiencing anxiety at the thought of being judged by an invisible audience.

What significant life events led to the speaker's transformation and growth in confidence?

The speaker's transformation and growth in confidence were triggered by the serious illness and passing of their grandpa, and the moving away of their two best friends to attend college, which left them feeling alone and isolated.

What is the first strategy the speaker suggests for building confidence?

The first strategy the speaker suggests is to build a character, which involves deciding how you want to present yourself to the world and determining what areas you need to work on.

Why is knowledge considered power in the context of building confidence?

Knowledge is considered power because the more you know about a subject, the more capable you are of handling related challenges confidently, shedding light on the right steps needed to succeed.

How does the speaker define the concept of 'exposure and experience' in relation to building confidence?

The speaker defines 'exposure and experience' as the process of facing fears head-on and not running away from them, gradually increasing interactions with what scares you until it no longer holds power over you.

What is the role of self-care in enhancing one's confidence?

Self-care plays a crucial role in enhancing confidence as it involves dressing well, smelling good, and behaving in a way that projects a positive image, which in turn makes you feel better in your skin and boosts your self-image.

Why is planning and preparation important for gaining confidence?

Planning and preparation are important for gaining confidence because having a concrete plan helps manage unexpected events effectively, reduces the number of mistakes, and enhances performance.

What is the significance of mastery in building genuine confidence?

Mastery is significant in building genuine confidence because it comes from being really good at something, which provides a strong and lasting foundation of self-assurance and competence.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with the threat of becoming too fixated on specific outcomes?

The speaker suggests dealing with the threat of becoming too fixated on specific outcomes by flipping the frame, stepping back to view challenges from a broader perspective, and accepting things as they come.

What is the conclusion of the script regarding personal growth and confidence?

The conclusion of the script emphasizes that personal growth and confidence come from creating a specific character with every decision, finding your purpose, and acting on it every single day, thus taking control of your life instead of letting life happen to you.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Overcoming Insecurity Through Personal Growth

This paragraph delves into the concept of confidence and its relation to self-awareness and exposure to new experiences. The speaker shares a personal journey of battling social anxiety during teenage years, characterized by an intense fear of judgment and social interactions. A pivotal moment in their life, marked by the loss of a loved one and the departure of close friends, catalyzed a deep dive into social dynamics and self-improvement. This period of introspection and learning led to a remarkable increase in confidence and personal responsibility. The speaker outlines seven strategies discovered through years of research and experience, which include building character, gaining knowledge, exposure and experience, self-care, planning, mastery, and flipping the frame, as a means to elevate one's confidence and improve life.

05:02

🛡️ Building Confidence Through Self-Care and Preparation

The second paragraph focuses on the importance of self-care in building confidence, emphasizing that external qualities such as appearance and behavior significantly impact human interactions. It challenges the notion that confidence is solely internal, highlighting the interplay between external presentation and internal feelings. The speaker discusses the value of planning and preparation as a means to manage unexpected events and project a certain image, drawing a parallel to how a president prepares for a public speech. Mastery is presented as a foundation for genuine confidence, suggesting that being skilled in a particular area provides a lasting sense of security. Lastly, the paragraph addresses the issue of unrealistic expectations and the fixation on outcomes, advocating for a broader perspective on life's challenges and the acceptance of things as they come, to maintain a healthy level of self-esteem and confidence.

Keywords

💡Confidence

Confidence is a psychological state where an individual feels certain about their abilities and is not easily deterred by fear or doubt. In the video's theme, confidence is portrayed as a skill that can be developed and improved, rather than a fixed trait. The speaker's personal journey illustrates this, as they transitioned from a state of anxiety and low self-esteem to a more confident individual by overcoming social challenges and self-improvement.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness refers to an individual's ability to recognize and understand their own emotions, motivations, and actions. In the context of the video, high self-awareness is identified as a component of lack of confidence, where one might be overly focused on their perceived flaws. The speaker uses their own teenage years as an example, where heightened self-awareness led to anxiety and social discomfort.

💡Overthinking

Overthinking is the act of excessively analyzing a situation or problem, often leading to unnecessary worry or anxiety. The script mentions overthinking as a barrier to confidence, where individuals focus too much on their imperfections instead of engaging with new experiences. The speaker's narrative of feeling judged by an 'invisible audience' exemplifies the concept of overthinking.

💡Exposure

Exposure in the video refers to the act of facing and interacting with situations or experiences that one might find challenging or fear-inducing. It is a strategy for building confidence by gradually reducing fear through repeated encounters. The speaker suggests starting small and increasing exposure to overcome fears, such as the example of gradually interacting with dogs to conquer a fear of them.

💡Knowledge

Knowledge is the understanding and familiarity with a subject, which can empower an individual to handle related challenges with confidence. The video emphasizes that knowledge is directly tied to confidence, as it provides the certainty needed to navigate situations effectively. An example given is recognizing a non-venomous snake, which allows one to remain calm due to the knowledge of its harmlessness.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement encompasses the process of enhancing one's skills, knowledge, and overall well-being. The speaker's personal story is a testament to self-improvement, as they actively sought to understand social dynamics and personal responsibility to overcome loneliness and build confidence. The video suggests that self-improvement is a continuous journey that leads to personal growth and increased confidence.

💡Self-care

Self-care involves taking actions to maintain or improve one's mental, emotional, and physical health. In the video, self-care is presented as an essential aspect of building confidence, as it contributes to a positive self-image. The speaker mentions aspects like dressing well, good hygiene, and a suitable hairstyle as examples of self-care that can impact how one is perceived and, in turn, one's confidence.

💡Planning

Planning is the act of preparing for future events or circumstances by making decisions and setting goals. The video highlights the importance of planning in building confidence, as it helps in managing unexpected events and setting oneself up for success. An example is given of how a president prepares for a public speech, which includes planning the content, delivery, and appearance.

💡Mastery

Mastery is the state of being highly skilled or proficient in a particular field or activity. The script discusses mastery as a foundation for genuine confidence, as it provides a sense of security and competence. The speaker contrasts temporary confidence from 'faking it' with the lasting confidence that comes from being truly good at something, such as a firefighter's confidence stemming from years of training.

💡Flip the Frame

Flipping the frame is a cognitive strategy that involves changing one's perspective on a situation to reduce anxiety or stress. In the video, this concept is used to address the issue of becoming too fixated on specific outcomes, suggesting that a broader perspective can alleviate the pressure and maintain confidence. The speaker encourages viewers to envision their life's end to realize the insignificance of minor setbacks in the grand scheme of things.

💡Character

Character in the video refers to the personal qualities and traits that define an individual's identity. The speaker encourages the audience to decide how they want to present themselves to the world and to work on the areas that need improvement to build their desired character. This process of character development is likened to creating a character in a video game, where knowledge, action, and experience are the tools to shape one's identity.

Highlights

Lack of confidence is often a combination of high self-awareness and low exposure or experience.

Overthinking flaws and avoiding new experiences can contribute to a lack of confidence.

The speaker's personal journey involved struggling with social interactions and intense anxiety during teenage years.

A transformative moment occurred when the speaker faced loneliness due to the loss of close friends and family.

Researching social dynamics and self-improvement led to a significant boost in the speaker's confidence.

The speaker discovered seven strategies to improve confidence through years of research and experience.

Building character involves deciding how you want to present yourself to the world.

Knowledge is power and directly tied to confidence; the more you know, the more capable you are.

Exposure and experience are crucial for building confidence; start small to finish big.

Self-care is essential for projecting a positive self-image and boosting interactions with others.

Planning and preparation are vital tools for managing unexpected events and enhancing performance.

Mastery in a skill or area provides genuine confidence and a strong foundation.

Flipping the frame involves accepting outcomes and not becoming fixated on specific results.

Viewing challenges from a broader perspective can reduce the impact of setbacks on confidence.

The importance of finding your 'why' and letting it drive you forward even in resistance.

Creating a specific character with every decision you make, as you are the dictator of your life.

The speaker encourages taking action every day to improve and not letting life just happen to you.

Transcripts

in order to understand how to improve

confidence we must first understand what

lack of confidence is here's the deal

lack of confidence could often be

translated as a combination of high

self-awareness and low exposure or in

other words you are overthinking your

flaws while not exposing yourself to new

experiences let me take you back to my

own Journey something many of you might

relate to during my teenage years I

struggled immensely with social

interactions talking to people felt like

an impossible task I couldn't even walk

past someone without feeling A Rush of

anxiety as if every step I took was on a

public stage under the judgmental gaze

of an invisible audience at the gym or

in other public places if I heard

laughter my first thought was that it

was directed at me questions would flood

my mind was my outfit okay was my hair a

mess this anxiety spiraled to the point

where I couldn't muster the confidence

to do simple things like asking for

directions I used to be paralyzed by

fear but then something happened that

started to change everything my grandpa

who was my closest friend since

childhood became seriously ill and

unfortunately passed away 2 weeks later

around the same time my two best friends

who were a year older moved away to

attend college which meant I was

completely alone isolated and lonely to

cope with this loneliness I realized I

needed to find people to spend time with

so I started researching deeply into

social dynamics and

self-improvement this process led me to

completely different lessons about life

and personal

responsibility after that period my

confidence didn't just grow it

skyrocketed improving every aspect of my

life I went from blaming others and my

circumstances to rapidly improving my

situation on my own

now you are maybe wondering how did such

a transformation

happen well I developed practical

strategies that allowed me to burst from

my insecurity bubble and today I will

show you how you can elevate your own

confidence and improve your life using

the seven strategies I discovered during

the years of research and experience and

those seven strategies are build a

character knowledge is power exposure

and experience self-care

the value of planning Mastery flip the

frame one build a character who do you

want to be what do you imagine yourself

to be a confident calm Charming

seductive funny and outgoing athlete or

maybe just a chill quiet but a confident

businessman you have to decide how you

want to present yourself to the world

and from that decision you can determine

what areas you need to work on think of

it like creating a character in a video

game where your tools are knowledge

action and experience by actively

working on these aspects you can shape

who you want to be in the

world two knowledge is

power the more you know about a subject

the more capable you are of handling

related challenges

confidently consider this scenario you

are walking in the woods when a snake

crosses your path because you are

knowledgeable about Snake species you

recognize that this particular snake

isn't venomous and not aggressive

towards humans making it safe to be

around your certainty and understanding

give you the confidence to remain calm

in the presence of a snake on the other

hand without any knowledge about snakes

you would likely feel scared and

uncomfortable in this

situation remember knowledge is directly

tied with confidence the right knowledge

sheds light on the right steps you need

to make in order to succeed which

directly benefits you in

life best way to obtain knowledge is

through direct experience and deliberate

research three exposure and experience

start small to finish

big another crucial aspect of building

confidence is that it can't be built by

remaining in your bubble and by avoiding

difficulties of life on the contrary it

can be only Built through exposure and

repetition to truly overcome your fears

it's important to face them head on and

not run away from them this concept is

not just about confronting fears it's

about habitual interaction with them

until they no longer hold power over you

take for example a common fear of dogs

the most effective way to conquer this

fear isn't by avoidance but by gradually

increasing your exposure and

interactions with dogs

avoiding the things that scare you might

seem safe in the short term but in the

long run this only reinforces and

potentially grows your

fears over time you will discover that

the more you are exposed to these

situations they are far less

intimidating than you initially thought

in other words start small to finish

big four

selfcare self-image is an essential

aspect of human interactions dressing

well smelling good and behaving in a way

that will project an image on the person

you are talking to

matters humans are visual beings after

all whoever tells you that confidence

doesn't have anything to do with

external qualities is lying to you

without a debate confidence is internal

and external which means the better you

feel in your skin the more confident you

will

be Basics such as having a good perfume

a suitable hair style clean teeth and

being well-dressed will help you in the

long

run five the value of planning and

preparation directly tied to knowledge

and

self-care having a concrete plan is much

better than having none planning is a

vital tool for managing unexpected

events effectively so if you want to be

confident you have to have some sort of

plan when you plan in advance on how to

approach someone what to say and how to

handle a negative response you're

setting yourself up to make fewer

mistakes consider how president prepares

for a public speech he plans what to say

how to say it where to look and what to

wear essentially he's preparing to

project a certain image preparation

isn't just helpful it's essential for

gaining experience and enhancing your

performance basically build a certain

plan on what to do in case things don't

go as

planned six mastery

the problem with the majority of people

is they want to be confident but they

literally aren't good at anything

confidence doesn't exist without a good

foundation while the fake it till you

make it approach may offer temporary

confidence in certain situations genuine

confidence is like a superpower that

comes from being really good at

something that will actually benefit you

why fake that you can talk confidently

when you can actually practice and

master

communication there's a saying I like

whatever you do you get better at when

you're really good at something you feel

secure and there's no way around it take

a firefighter for example their

confidence in fighting fires doesn't

come from acting tough or faking it but

from years of training and experience

that's why it's important to focus on

getting really good at what you do it

not only makes you better at it but it

also gives you strong lasting

confidence seven flip the frame

one of the greatest threats to

confidence is becoming too fixated on

specific outcomes and setting

unrealistic

expectations when your self-esteem

depends solely on achieving these

outcomes every setback can feel like a

personal failure leading to significant

confidence issues much of what we

agonize over is really just in our heads

hence why it's crucial to step back and

view challenges from a broader

perspective remember remember ultimately

we all share the same fate we will not

be here forever with this in mind ask

yourself that mistake that you are

overthinking would it even matter on

deathbed the fear of stuttering during a

presentation or not successfully

flirting with someone you find

attractive might seem Monumental at the

moment but in the grand scheme of life

These are mere blips when doubt and

insecurity Cloud your judgment try this

simple exercise close your eyes and

Envision yourself at life's end looking

back at these fears you'll likely find

yourself smiling at how inconsequential

they truly

were so instead of obsessively focusing

on outcomes start accepting things as

they

come

conclusion who are you and what will you

be remembered for these are important

questions to consider when you're not

sure of your identity or what you stand

for the world will Define it for you

hence why it's crucial to find your why

and let it drive you forward even when

every fiber of your being resists this

is how you grow your purpose selfworth

confidence and

life remember you are creating a

specific character with every decision

you make as you are dictator of your

life and you can definitely improve

whatever you want as long as you act on

it every single day stop letting life

happen to you and let yourself happen to

life with this in mind have a wonderful

day and take care

[Music]