subtle ADHD high achiever traits

Summary

In this video, the speaker shares her personal journey with ADHD, discussing how she maximized her therapy sessions, developed systems to manage her ADHD, and sought a diagnosis to better understand herself. She talks about the challenges of procrastination, perfectionism, and the importance of creating structure, like using reminders and deadlines, to stay on track. The speaker also reflects on the importance of positive self-talk and how she overcame setbacks. With humor and vulnerability, she shares how ADHD shaped her experiences and how she found solutions to thrive despite it.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker sought therapy to better understand their ADHD and its impact on their life, despite initially being a high achiever with straight A’s.
• 😀 They received 'vibe checks' from their therapist, challenging their tendency to people-please and sacrifice personal goals for others' perceptions.
• 😀 The speaker struggled with balancing ADHD symptoms like short-term memory issues and perfectionism, which led to procrastination.
• 😀 To cope with ADHD, they created structured systems, including calendar reminders, alarms, and automations to stay on top of tasks.
• 😀 The speaker used unique study hacks, like recording themselves teaching and listening while walking, due to difficulty sitting still.
• 😀 They learned that ADHD can sometimes go unnoticed due to high achiever traits like being organized and performing well in school despite challenges.
• 😀 ADHD-related procrastination often stemmed from perfectionism and overwhelming expectations, leading to a cycle of delay and stress.
• 😀 They utilized external accountability through 'body doubles' (friends) and public deadlines to stay motivated and get tasks done.
• 😀 A major insight from therapy was learning to talk to themselves more positively, like 'Coach B,' to avoid self-shaming and maintain productivity.
• 😀 The speaker highlighted the importance of reframing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a source of shame, which helped improve momentum and self-talk.

Q & A

What led the speaker to start 'therapy max'?

The speaker decided to 'therapy max' because they are a straight-A student and had even received an A+ in their diagnosis, which motivated them to dive deeper into therapy for self-improvement.

How did the speaker's therapist help them understand their ADHD?

The therapist provided valuable insights, such as confirming that the speaker has ADHD and challenging them to examine whether they were prioritizing others' needs over their own goals, which made the speaker reflect on their people-pleasing tendencies.

What is the significance of the speaker’s people-pleasing tendencies in the context of ADHD?

The speaker’s people-pleasing tendencies were highlighted by their therapist as a way of creating dependency on them, which prevented the speaker from prioritizing their own goals, a common trait in people with ADHD who often focus on external validation.

How did the speaker utilize systems to cope with ADHD challenges?

The speaker created personalized systems, such as setting calendar reminders, alarms, and automations, to help manage tasks, keep track of meetings, and maintain focus, compensating for their poor short-term memory and other ADHD-related difficulties.

What strategies did the speaker use to stay organized during their studies?

The speaker recorded themselves teaching school concepts, took walks while listening to the recordings, and created elaborate stories or jokes to remember course material. These strategies helped them stay engaged despite the challenges of traditional study methods.

Why did the speaker initially doubt they had ADHD despite their traits?

The speaker initially doubted they had ADHD because they excelled in school, were organized, and didn’t recognize ADHD behaviors in childhood, which led them to overlook subtle signs of the condition in their adult life.

What role did medication play in the speaker’s ADHD management?

Medication provided the speaker with clarity and focus, especially in situations that required high levels of administrative work, like moving countries. They found that medication helped them manage tasks more easily and reduced the overwhelming mental clutter that often interferes with productivity.

What does the speaker's 'hyperfocus' look like, and how does it affect their work?

Hyperfocus allows the speaker to complete tasks at an extremely fast pace, often getting more done in a week than most people would in months. However, it also means that outside of hyperfocus, they tend to overestimate their abilities and struggle to complete tasks.

How does the speaker combat procrastination, especially in relation to perfectionism?

The speaker addresses procrastination by setting public deadlines and external accountability systems, such as co-working with friends or launching products early. These techniques help bypass their perfectionism and make them focus on completing tasks, even if they are not perfect.

What is the 'five W's analysis' and how did it help the speaker?

The 'five W's analysis' involves asking 'why' five times to uncover the deeper reasons behind procrastination or struggles. The speaker used this technique to identify that their procrastination was often rooted in perfectionism and fear of not being enough, allowing them to better manage their motivations and actions.