Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava

Summary

In this insightful talk, the speaker shares her personal journey with ADHD, detailing the challenges and misconceptions she faced. Diagnosed in middle school, she initially found relief through medication but later struggled with life's complexities. Through research and connection with the ADHD community, she discovered strategies to manage her condition effectively, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's brain and finding an environment that nurtures personal strengths. The speaker's story is a testament to resilience and the power of embracing one's unique neurological makeup.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The speaker's brain played a significant role in their life decisions and behaviors, highlighting the impact of the brain on our actions.
• 🎓 Early signs of intelligence were overshadowed by struggles with focus and organization, leading to a later ADHD diagnosis.
• 💊 The introduction of stimulant medication had a profound effect, improving focus and academic performance for the speaker.
• 📉 Despite initial improvements, life challenges persisted, including difficulties in higher education and maintaining a stable career.
• 🔍 A decade of instability and introspection led to the realization that ADHD was still impacting the speaker's life, necessitating further understanding.
• 📚 The speaker embarked on research to better understand ADHD, finding both valuable and misleading information.
• 🌐 A lack of resources tailored for adults with ADHD inspired the creation of a YouTube channel to share experiences and information.
• 🤝 Connecting with the ADHD community provided a sense of belonging and revealed the diversity of experiences within the ADHD spectrum.
• 💡 ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder with real, measurable brain differences, affecting executive functions and more than just focus.
• 🛠️ While medication can be effective, it is not a complete solution; additional strategies such as therapy, coaching, and lifestyle changes are beneficial.
• 🌟 The speaker's journey emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own brain, finding a supportive community, and adapting strategies to thrive with ADHD.

Q & A

What is the primary message of the speaker's story about their brain?

The speaker's story emphasizes the impact of ADHD on their life and how understanding and managing the condition can lead to personal growth and success.

What was the speaker's experience like before being diagnosed with ADHD?

Before the diagnosis, the speaker was academically advanced but struggled with focus, organization, and social interactions, which were not recognized as symptoms of ADHD.

How did the speaker's life change after being diagnosed with ADHD?

After the diagnosis, the speaker started taking stimulant medication which improved their focus and academic performance, leading to positive changes in their social life and self-esteem.

What challenges did the speaker face during their college years and early adulthood?

The speaker faced difficulties with time management, maintaining academic progress, and pursuing their career goals, which eventually led to dropping out of college and a series of unstable jobs.

How did the speaker's perception of their potential and success change over time?

Initially, the speaker believed that their intelligence was the key to success. However, after experiencing repeated failures, they realized that understanding and managing their ADHD was crucial to unlocking their potential.

What role did medication play in the speaker's life with ADHD?

Medication played a significant role by helping the speaker to focus and improve their academic performance. However, the speaker later discovered that medication alone was not sufficient to address all aspects of ADHD.

What motivated the speaker to start researching about ADHD?

The speaker was motivated to research ADHD after realizing that despite medication and efforts, their ADHD was still interfering with their life, and they needed to understand how and why to address it effectively.

What was the speaker's approach to educating themselves about ADHD?

The speaker sought information from various sources such as websites, podcasts, talks by researchers and medical professionals, and books specifically about ADHD, tailored for individuals living with the condition.

Why did the speaker start a YouTube channel?

The speaker started a YouTube channel to share their experiences and insights about ADHD, as they found a lack of resources intended for individuals with ADHD, and they wanted to help others understand and manage the condition.

What are some of the common misconceptions about ADHD that the speaker addresses?

The speaker addresses misconceptions such as ADHD being a result of bad parenting, lack of discipline, or diet, and clarifies that it is a neurodevelopmental disorder with measurable brain differences.

How does the speaker describe the experience of having ADHD?

The speaker describes having ADHD as a spectrum condition that affects executive functions, emotional regulation, and behavior. They emphasize that ADHD is not about a lack of attention but difficulties in regulating attention.

What strategies did the speaker find helpful in managing their ADHD?

The speaker found strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy, coaching, meditation, regular exercise, and using tools like timers and lists to be effective in managing their ADHD symptoms.

How has the speaker's life improved after learning to manage their ADHD?

After learning to manage their ADHD, the speaker started their own business, connected with a supportive community, and became more successful and happier in their personal and professional life.

What message does the speaker have for people with ADHD and those who interact with them?

The speaker encourages people with ADHD to understand that they are not alone, different, and beautiful. For those who interact with individuals with ADHD, the speaker hopes to foster better understanding and acceptance.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 The Brain's Role in Behavior and ADHD

The speaker begins by humorously acknowledging that it was the audience's brains that brought them to the event. They delve into the impact of the brain on behavior, sharing their personal journey with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). As a child prodigy with difficulties in social interactions and focus, the speaker's life took a turn when, in middle school, their intelligence was no longer sufficient to mask their struggles. After being diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication, they experienced significant improvements in focus and academic performance. However, despite early successes, the speaker faced numerous challenges later in life, including dropping out of college, job instability, and a failed marriage, leading them to question the potential they once had.

05:00

📚 Seeking Understanding and Acceptance of ADHD

The speaker shares their quest for understanding ADHD, finding a dearth of resources tailored for those living with the condition. They decided to create a YouTube channel to fill this gap, aiming to help others navigate the complexities of ADHD. Through their research, they discovered that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder with real, measurable brain differences. They clarify misconceptions, emphasizing that ADHD is not a result of bad parenting or lack of discipline. The speaker also highlights the prevalence of ADHD, suggesting that everyone is likely to encounter someone with the condition at some point. They underscore the importance of understanding the brain's role in ADHD and the need for more than just medication to manage its symptoms effectively.

10:00

💡 Embracing Neurodiversity and ADHD's Impact

The speaker discusses the spectrum of ADHD, explaining that while everyone may experience symptoms occasionally, a diagnosis indicates a chronic impairment across various life aspects. They address the misconception that ADHD is simply about distraction, emphasizing the condition's broader impact on executive functions, emotional regulation, and more. The speaker shares their realization that ADHD is highly treatable but not solely with medication. They advocate for a range of strategies, including therapy and lifestyle changes, to complement medical treatment. The speaker's personal journey includes finding a supportive community, recognizing their strengths, and leveraging their unique qualities to build a successful YouTube channel and business.

15:03

🌟 Overcoming Challenges and Celebrating ADHD

In the final paragraph, the speaker challenges stereotypes about ADHD, explaining that it's not about fidgeting or lack of care but rather a struggle with executive functions and a need for appropriate stimulation. They argue that society's expectations can make those with ADHD feel broken, but their mission is to reassure them that they are not alone, not weird, and not failures. The speaker invites those with ADHD to join a supportive community, offering a message of acceptance and empowerment. They conclude by encouraging everyone, whether they have ADHD or not, to understand and embrace the neurodiverse strengths that individuals with ADHD bring to the world.

Keywords

💡Brain

The brain is the central organ responsible for controlling all functions of the body and mind. In the context of this video, it is the organ that influences behavior and decision-making, as the speaker discusses how their brain affected their life and behavior, including the diagnosis of ADHD.

💡ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. The video's theme revolves around the speaker's personal journey with ADHD, its impact on their life, and their eventual understanding and management of the condition.

💡Inattention

Inattention is one of the primary characteristics of ADHD, referring to the difficulty in focusing or paying attention to tasks. The speaker describes their struggles with inattention, such as spacing out in class and losing things constantly.

💡Impulsivity

Impulsivity is the tendency to act without thinking, which is another hallmark of ADHD. The speaker touches upon impulsivity as part of the ADHD diagnosis and its impact on their life choices and behaviors.

💡Hyperactivity

Hyperactivity is the third primary characteristic of ADHD, which involves excessive movement or restlessness. The speaker mentions hyperactivity in the context of ADHD's three main features and its impact on their early life.

💡Stimulant Medication

Stimulant medication is a type of drug used to treat ADHD by increasing the levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, helping to improve focus and attention. The speaker describes their positive experience with stimulant medication, which improved their ability to focus and their academic performance.

💡Executive Functions

Executive functions are cognitive processes that enable planning, organizing, and executing tasks. The speaker explains that ADHD affects executive functions, which can impair planning, prioritizing, and sustaining effort toward goals, beyond just affecting focus.

💡Neurotransmitters

Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers in the brain that facilitate communication between nerve cells. The video discusses how ADHD is associated with the way the brain produces and metabolizes neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, affecting attention and behavior.

💡Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychological treatment that helps individuals understand and change thought patterns and behaviors. The speaker mentions CBT as one of the strategies that can help manage ADHD symptoms, beyond medication.

💡Self-Help Books

Self-help books are resources designed to provide guidance and strategies for personal development. The speaker initially turned to self-help books for answers but found them less helpful than the information specific to ADHD, which was more relevant to their situation.

💡YouTube Channel

A YouTube channel is a platform for creating and sharing video content. The speaker started a YouTube channel to share information and experiences about ADHD, which became a successful venture that engaged their ADHD brain and connected them with others in the ADHD community.

Highlights

Behavior is controlled by the brain, and the speaker's brain led them to this talk.

The speaker was diagnosed with ADHD in middle school, impacting their academic performance.

ADHD has three primary characteristics: inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

Stimulant medication significantly improved the speaker's focus and GPA.

Despite medication, the speaker faced challenges in college and adult life, including dropping out and job instability.

The speaker's research into ADHD revealed a lack of resources for adults with the condition.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder with measurable brain differences.

ADHD affects executive functions and emotional regulation, not just focus.

Stimulant medication is effective for most with ADHD but is not a complete solution.

The speaker started a YouTube channel to educate about ADHD, connecting with others.

ADHD is on a spectrum, and everyone experiences symptoms sometimes.

ADHD is highly treatable with a combination of medication and behavioral strategies.

The speaker found personal success and happiness by understanding and embracing their ADHD.

ADHD is not about laziness or lack of trying; it's a neurological condition requiring support.

The speaker encourages those with ADHD to recognize their strengths and connect with the community.

Understanding ADHD can help society be more inclusive and supportive of those with the condition.

The speaker's journey shows that with the right support and understanding, individuals with ADHD can thrive.

Transcripts

Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Mile Živković

Hello, brains!

I say that to you because, if you think about it,

it wasn't really you that decided to come here today.

It was your brain.

And whether you decided to walk, or drive, take a taxi, or ride a bike,

that decision was made by your brain.

Behavior, all behavior, is affected by the brain.

This is a story about my brain.

So, I was a smart kid.

By 18 months, I was speaking in full sentences.

By third grade, I was scoring post-high school on standardized tests.

I had, as all my teachers agreed, so much potential.

I was also struggling.

I didn't have many, any, friends

outside of books.

I was easily overwhelmed. I spaced out in class.

I lost things constantly.

And trying to get my brain to focus on anything I wasn't excited about

was like trying to nail jello to the wall.

But I was smart, so nobody was worried.

It wasn't until middle school,

when I was responsible for getting myself to classes on time

and remembering to bring my own homework,

that being smart wasn't enough anymore, and my grades started to suffer.

My mom took me to the doctor and, after a comprehensive evaluation,

I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,

ADHD.

If you're not familiar with ADHD, it has three primary characteristics:

inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

Some people with ADHD have more of the inattentive presentation.

Those are the daydreamers, the space cadets.

Some have more of the hyperactive-impulsive presentation.

Those are the kids that usually get diagnosed early.

(Laughter)

But the most common presentation is a combination of both.

(Laughter)

My doctor and my parents decided that, given my shiny, new diagnosis,

maybe stimulant medication would succeed where spankings and lectures had failed.

So I tried it, and it worked.

The first time I took my medication,

it was like putting on glasses

and realizing I could see without squinting.

I could focus.

And without changing anything, my GPA went up a full point.

Honestly, it was kind of miraculous.

By 14, I had friends that liked me.

By 15, I had published my first poem.

I got a boyfriend.

By 17, I knew I wanted to be a journalist.

My local college had a program that would guarantee admission to USC.

They had a really great journalism program.

So, I signed up at my local college and I started taking classes.

I moved in with my boyfriend.

Things were going great,

until they weren't.

I started having trouble making it to class on time.

I aced a statistics course,

but I forgot to sign up in time, so I never got the credit.

I took classes so I could help my boyfriend with his career,

but I completely lost sight of mine.

I never made it to USC.

By 21, I dropped out of college and moved back home.

Over the next ten years, I started and quit, or was fired from, 15 jobs.

I ruined my credit.

I got married,

and was divorced within a year.

At this point, I was 32,

and I had no idea what I was doing with my life,

besides reading self-help books that didn't seem to be helping.

What happened to all that potential?

Was I not trying? No! I worked harder than anyone I knew.

I didn't even have time for friends.

I was that busy.

I had potential, though.

So, my failure was clearly my fault.

I just hadn't done what I need to do to reach it,

and, honestly, I was tired of trying,

putting more effort into life than everyone else

and falling farther and farther behind.

At this point, I could have given up on myself,

I could have decided that everyone who'd thought I had potential was wrong.

But I didn't,

because I knew that it was my behavior that had gotten me here,

and behavior is affected by the brain,

and my brain has ADHD.

Looking at my behavior, I knew:

even with medication, even as an adult,

my ADHD was still interfering with my life,

and what I needed to know was how and why,

and, more importantly, what could I do about it.

I started to do some research,

and I found a lot of great information.

I found a lot of bad information too, but that's another talk.

But there's good information out there.

Websites, podcasts, talks, by researchers and medical professionals;

books that would have been way more helpful

than the self-help books I'd been using that were clearly written for normal -

well, there's no normal - neurotypical brains.

A lot of what I found, though, was either super technical

or seemed like it was written for parents and teachers

trying to deal with ADHD kids.

There wasn't a lot that seemed intended for us,

the people who have ADHD.

So, I started a YouTube channel.

I had no idea how to start a YouTube channel,

but I started a YouTube channel.

I almost called it "How Not To ADHD,"

because that was about all I knew at the time.

But my boyfriend, Edward, talked me out of it.

It turns out lots of people need help understanding ADHD,

including, maybe especially, those who actually have it.

I was no exception.

I thought ADHD was kind of the same for everybody.

I thought it was mostly about getting distracted.

I thought having ADHD was maybe the reason that I was failing at life.

And I thought I was what needed to change, in order to be successful.

I couldn't be successful and still be me.

Spoilers: I was wrong.

So, let's go back for a second, let's go back to what brought us here today:

the brain.

Understanding the brain you're working with, it turns out, is kind of important,

and that's true whether that brain is your employee's, your student's,

your kid's, your significant other's,

or your own.

ADHD affects between 5 and 8% of the global population,

which means, statistically speaking,

there's between 37 and 60 of us just in this room.

You can't tell who we are just by looking, but it's fun to watch you try.

(Laughter)

So, at some point, you're going to meet someone with ADHD,

work with them, give birth to them,

or fall in love with them.

Chances are you already have.

And, at some point, you're going to ask yourself,

"What is going on in their brain?!"

So, after two years of learning about ADHD and a lifetime of experience with it,

after having the honor of connecting with researchers, and doctors,

and ADHD experts, and tens of thousands of ADHD brains all over the world,

what can I tell you to help you understand ADHD?

By the way, many of them helped with this talk.

First of all, it's real.

It's not bad parenting or lack of discipline.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder.

It's currently the most well-researched mental condition,

and there are actually measurable differences in the brain.

These differences are larger in children, but, for most people, they never go away.

In other words, adults have ADHD too.

While rates of ADHD diagnosis are increasing,

it's not because of an increase in sugar or technology,

or lack of spanking;

it's not,

any more than people drowning in swimming pools is because of Nicolas Cage.

Correlation does not equal causation.

Those are real numbers.

(Laughter)

It's from both an increase in understanding that ADHD exists,

that girls, adults, and gifted students can have it too,

and ironically a lack of understanding

that being hyper, misbehaving, or struggling in school

does not mean you have ADHD.

ADHD is more serious than I realized.

The primary characteristics - inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity -

don't sound all that serious, and I didn't think that they were,

but, in real life, they translate to people getting into more accidents,

being more likely to get fired, get divorced,

significantly more likely to struggle with addiction.

I learned that ADHD is on a spectrum.

Raise your hand if you've ever lost your keys,

or spaced out in the middle of a lecture.

If you're not raising your hand,

I'm going to assume you spaced out in the middle of this one.

(Laughter)

The thing is, while everyone experiences ADHD symptoms sometimes,

an actual diagnosis is based on how many of those symptoms

significantly and chronically impair multiple aspects of your life.

Just like you can get sad and not have depression,

you can get distracted and not have ADHD.

And just like you can have mild depression or severe depression,

ADHD can range from mild to severe.

I also learned ADHD is a terrible name for ADHD.

It creates a lot of confusion.

We don't have a deficit of attention!

What we have trouble with is regulating our attention.

As ADHD coach Brett Thornhill puts it,

it's like your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels

and somebody else has the remote.

Sometimes we have trouble focusing at all,

and other times we get stuck on a channel and can't pull ourselves away,

which in real life might seem we don't want to do homework

because we'd rather play video games, and short, sometimes that's the case.

But the truth is there are plenty of times we want to able to focus,

we try, and we just can't.

Current understanding is that this difficulty

has to do with the way our brains produce and metabolize neurotransmitters,

like dopamine and norepinephrine.

I learned ADHD is highly treatable.

Stimulant medication boosts these neurotransmitters,

which is why it helps us focus.

It's very effective for around 80% of people with ADHD.

And I learned that medication isn't enough.

ADHD affects much more than our focus.

It impairs executive functions like planning, prioritizing,

and our ability to sustain effort toward a goal.

It affects our ability to regulate our emotions, our behavior, our sleep.

It's not one program in our brain that works differently;

it's the whole operating system.

It can affect every aspect of our lives.

And there are a ton of strategies out there that can help.

Cognitive behavioral therapy, coaching, even meditation or regular exercise

can help make a huge difference understanding your brain.

I knew I had trouble focusing, and I knew my medication helped with that.

What I didn't know was that getting overwhelmed all the time

had to do with poor working memory, and that making lists helps;

or that the reason I ran late all the time wasn't because I didn't care,

it's because ADHD'ers have a skewed sense of time,

and that using a timer could teach me how long things actually take.

Mostly, I expected to learn what I actually learned:

that ADHD is real;

addressing it is important;

and medication is not enough.

What I didn't expect to learn:

that I wasn't alone;

I had an ADHD tribe;

what a difference it would make to connect with it.

There are people with ADHD in every country,

every culture across the globe.

Yes, even in France.

(Laughter)

And this tribe is awesome.

Comparing myself to people with neurotypical brains,

I felt really bad about myself.

Why couldn't I keep my house clean or finish a project in time,

instead of waiting till the very last second?

But seeing the positives in fellow ADHD brains

helped me recognize and appreciate my own strengths,

ones I couldn't see when I was just staring at my weaknesses,

which is what I'd been doing for decades.

But ADHD brains have a lot to offer the world.

We tend to be generous, funny, creative.

ADHD'ers are 300% more likely to start their own business.

We not only think outside the box;

we're often not even aware that there is a box.

(Laughter)

We may struggle when our brains aren't engaged,

but ADHD brains are great at tackling tasks that are urgent,

working with ideas that are new,

wrestling with problems that are challenging,

and dedicating themselves to projects that are of personal interest.

This YouTube career I'd stumbled into was all of those things.

At 32, I was divorced, miserable,

and had no idea what I was doing with my life.

At 33, I'd started my own business, and was connecting with ADHD experts.

By now, at 34,

I have a team of volunteers helping with the channel.

I'm engaged to this amazing man who helps me produce the channel,

works right alongside with me, is doing the slides right now -

and, as we discovered, also has ADHD.

(Laughter)

I'm working on reaching out to schools

so that kids don't have to wait until they're 32

to learn about their brains.

And I'm doing my very first TEDx talk here with you today.

(Cheers) (Applause)

But wait! There's more! Wait.

(Applause)

That did sound like the end of the speech. I'm sorry, it's not.

(Laughter)

I'm happier and more successful than I've ever been in my life.

So, what happened? How did I reach my potential?

Three things: one, I learned about my brain, my ADHD brain,

both on my own and by connecting with others who have it.

If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,

it will live its whole life believing it is stupid,

unless it happens to chat with another fish

and realizes fish aren't great at climbing trees, and that's okay,

there's plenty of ocean.

Two, in learning about my brain,

I found and stumbled into a job that engages it.

If you spend all your time trying to get a fish to able to climb a tree,

you'll never see how far it can swim.

It turns out I can be me and still be successful.

I just had to find my ocean.

Three, I learned strategies for challenges I still face.

I have no fish analogy for this one, I'm sorry.

(Laughter)

I guess I learned how to swim.

Once you know what your brain's challenges are,

you can find solutions to them.

Once you look past the stereotypes and assumptions about people with ADHD,

and dig deeper, you learn what ADHD actually is.

It's not people who won't stop fidgeting, or getting distracted.

It is brains that are chronically underaroused,

trying to get the basic level of stimulation all brains need.

It's not about procrastinating or not caring.

It's having executive function deficits that make it hard to get started.

And it's not people being lazy or not trying enough.

It's kids and adults struggling to succeed

with a brain that doesn't always want to cooperate

in a society that wasn't built for them.

Society is our user's manual.

We learn how our brains and bodies work by watching those around us.

And, when yours works differently, it can feel like you're broken.

So, what I'm trying to do is reach out to these people

wherever they are in the world, and tell them,

"You are not weird. You are not stupid.

You do not need to try harder. You are not a failed version of normal.

You are different, you are beautiful,

and you are not alone."

If you don't ADHD yourself, chances are you know somebody who does.

They're your employee, your boss, your friend, they're in this room.

I hope this talk helps you understand them better.

If you do have ADHD,

welcome to the tribe.

(Applause) (Cheers)