Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi Jones | TED

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker, a self-proclaimed professional troublemaker, emphasizes the importance of challenging the status quo and speaking up against injustice. She shares her journey from aspiring doctor to influential blogger and writer, highlighting the power of being the first to take action, like a domino initiating change. The speaker encourages overcoming fear, using personal anecdotes like skydiving and confronting pay inequality, to illustrate the need for honesty, integrity, and justice. She calls for collective action, urging everyone to be a 'domino' in their own right, advocating for a world that values truth and supports one another.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ The speaker identifies as a 'professional troublemaker' whose role is to critique the world and encourage improvement.
• 💡 The concept of being the 'first domino' is introduced as a metaphor for initiating change, inspiring others to follow suit.
• 🤔 The speaker admits to not being fearless, but rather feeling compelled to speak out despite the fear of consequences.
• 🧐 The importance of speaking truth to power is emphasized, even when it's uncomfortable or risky.
• 🎓 A personal anecdote is shared about giving up a dream of becoming a doctor to pursue blogging, illustrating the power of embracing change.
• 📚 The journey to self-identification as a writer took nine years, highlighting the impact of fear on personal growth and professional recognition.
• 🚀 The year 2015 was declared as the 'year of doing it anyway,' symbolizing a commitment to face fears and pursue what scares.
• 🌳 The speaker's first solo vacation and adventurous activities symbolize stepping out of comfort zones as a form of personal challenge.
• 📖 Writing the book 'I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual' represents owning one's voice and using it for societal critique.
• 🛫 Skydiving is used as a metaphor for the act of speaking truth, capturing the fear and exhilaration of taking a bold stand.
• 🌍 The beauty of the Earth seen from the skydive reflects the potential of overcoming fear to see the bigger picture and make a positive impact.
• 🔊 The speaker calls for collective action, urging everyone to be a 'domino,' to disrupt the status quo, and to speak up for justice and integrity.

Q & A

What is the speaker's primary role as described in the script?

The speaker describes herself as a professional troublemaker whose job is to critique the world, including shoddy systems and people who refuse to improve, through her work as a writer, speaker, and commentator.

How does the speaker view her purpose in society?

The speaker sees her purpose as being a catalyst for change by speaking up and inspiring others to do the same, like the first domino in a line that causes others to fall.

What does the speaker suggest about the nature of fear in relation to taking action?

The speaker suggests that fear is a powerful force that often prevents people from taking action, but it's important to overcome it in order to speak the truth and effect change.

How did the speaker's academic experience influence her career path?

The speaker's experience of receiving a poor grade in Chemistry 101 led her to abandon her premed major and instead start blogging, which eventually became her full-time job.

What event in 2010 prompted the speaker to consider blogging as her full-time career?

The speaker lost her marketing job in 2010, which led her to consider blogging as a full-time career.

What does the speaker believe is the key to overcoming fear and achieving one's purpose?

The speaker believes that not letting fear dictate one's actions and decisions is key to overcoming it and achieving one's purpose.

What was the speaker's approach to facing her fears in 2015?

In 2015, the speaker decided to face her fears head-on by actively pursuing anything that scared her, as part of her 'Do it anyway' philosophy.

What personal anecdotes does the speaker share to illustrate her point about confronting fear?

The speaker shares anecdotes of taking her first solo vacation, ziplining in the Dominican Republic, swimming with dolphins in Mexico, writing her book, and skydiving.

How does the speaker connect the act of skydiving to speaking truth to power?

The speaker compares the feeling of speaking truth to power with the moment of jumping out of a plane during skydiving, highlighting the fear and the subsequent realization of the beauty and necessity of the action.

What does the speaker suggest is the role of those who are not the most powerful in a room?

The speaker suggests that even if one is not the most powerful, they can still make a difference by disrupting the status quo, supporting others, and ensuring that everyone's voice is heard.

What advice does the speaker give for determining whether to speak up about a difficult truth?

The speaker advises to ask oneself three questions: Did you mean it? Can you defend it? Did you say it with love? If the answer is yes to all three, then it's important to speak up.

How does the speaker view the importance of being oneself in the face of societal expectations?

The speaker views being oneself as a revolutionary act, especially in a world that often demands conformity and quietness.

What does the speaker believe is the collective responsibility of individuals in relation to speaking truth to power?

The speaker believes it is the collective duty of individuals to speak truth to power, not just when it's easy, but especially when it's difficult, to build bridges to common ground based on truth.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Speaking Up and Being the First Domino

The speaker identifies as a professional troublemaker, whose role is to critique the world and encourage improvement. They emphasize the importance of being the first to take action, like a falling domino, to inspire others to follow. The speaker admits to not being fearless but believes in the necessity of speaking up despite fear. They recount their journey from aspiring to be a doctor to becoming a writer and blogger, highlighting the power of overcoming fear to pursue one's purpose. The year 2015 is declared as the 'Do it anyway' year, where the speaker actively pursued activities that scared them, such as skydiving, to symbolize stepping out of their comfort zone.

05:01

🚀 Embracing Discomfort for the Greater Good

The speaker compares the feeling of speaking truth to power with the fear experienced when skydiving, emphasizing the need to embrace discomfort to effect change. They argue that comfort maintains the status quo and that it's crucial to disrupt it by speaking out against injustice. The speaker believes in the importance of honesty, integrity, and justice, and uses humor to convey the idea that the world could benefit from more moisturized individuals. They call for collective action, suggesting that even those who are not the most powerful can make a difference by supporting others and ensuring that everyone's voice is heard.

10:02

🌉 Building Bridges with Truth and Courage

The speaker asserts that telling the truth should not be a revolutionary act but acknowledges that it often is due to the sacrifices involved. They advocate for a commitment to speaking truth for the greater good and building bridges on common ground. The speaker emphasizes the duty to speak truth to power, especially when it's difficult, and shares personal experiences of taking public stands against discriminatory practices and mental health issues. They highlight the 'Me Too' movement as an example of the power of collective voices and encourage authenticity as a form of resistance. The speaker concludes with a personal mantra for speaking out: ensuring the statement is meant, defensible, and spoken with love.

Keywords

💡Troublemaker

A 'troublemaker' is an individual who intentionally causes disruption or challenges the status quo. In the context of the video, the speaker embraces this term positively, indicating their role in critiquing the world and advocating for change. The speaker uses humor to describe themselves as a 'professional troublemaker,' suggesting a commitment to challenging shoddy systems and inspiring others to improve the world.

💡Domino

The 'domino' metaphor is used to represent the idea of initiating change that influences others to follow suit. The speaker describes how being the first to fall, or speak up, can inspire a chain reaction of similar actions. This concept is central to the video's theme of individual action leading to collective change, as illustrated by the speaker's various personal experiences and the broader societal impact of such actions.

💡Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion that can hold individuals back from pursuing their goals or speaking out against injustice. The speaker discusses how fear has the concrete power to prevent people from fulfilling their purpose. However, by confronting and overcoming fear, as demonstrated by the speaker's personal anecdotes, individuals can achieve their objectives and contribute to positive change.

💡Integrity

Integrity refers to the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. In the video, the speaker values integrity highly, suggesting that it is a core value that drives them to speak the truth, even in the face of potential backlash or personal sacrifice. This concept is integral to the video's message of the importance of honesty and moral courage in effecting change.

💡Comfort Zone

The 'comfort zone' is a metaphorical space where individuals feel safe and avoid risks or challenges. The speaker argues that comfort is overrated and that staying within one's comfort zone maintains the status quo. By stepping out of this zone and embracing discomfort, individuals can disrupt the status quo and contribute to positive change, as exemplified by the speaker's own experiences with skydiving and speaking out.

💡Professional

In this context, 'professional' is used to describe the speaker's chosen career path and approach to their work as a critic and advocate for change. The term suggests a level of expertise and dedication to their role as a 'troublemaker.' The speaker uses this term to emphasize the seriousness and intentionality behind their actions and words.

💡Status Quo

The 'status quo' refers to the existing state of affairs or the current situation in which people or things are. The speaker criticizes the status quo for maintaining inequality and lack of progress. The video's theme revolves around challenging and changing the status quo through individual and collective action.

💡Justice

Justice is the principle of fairness and the rightness of actions. The speaker asserts that justice should not be an option but a fundamental aspect of society. The video's message includes the pursuit of justice as a driving force behind the speaker's actions and a core value that should guide societal change.

💡Silence

Silence in the video is portrayed as a tool used by people and systems to maintain power and prevent change. The speaker emphasizes the importance of breaking silence by speaking out against injustice, even when it is difficult or frightening. The video encourages viewers to recognize the power of their voices and to use them to challenge the status quo.

💡Me Too Movement

The 'Me Too Movement' is a social movement against sexual harassment and assault. The speaker references this movement as an example of how speaking out can lead to widespread societal change and solidarity. The movement is highlighted as a powerful instance where individuals' voices collectively disrupted the status quo and started important conversations about power dynamics and consent.

💡Skydiving

Skydiving is used as a metaphor for taking risks and stepping out of one's comfort zone. The speaker shares a personal story of skydiving to illustrate the concept of facing fear and embracing the unknown. This experience serves as a powerful example of the video's overarching theme of confronting fear to achieve personal growth and inspire change.

Highlights

The speaker identifies as a professional troublemaker, critiquing the world and urging for improvement.

Being the first to speak up and act as a 'domino' can inspire others to follow suit for change.

Fear should not dictate actions; instead, one must take the first step to initiate change.

The speaker's shift from aspiring to be a doctor to becoming a writer and blogger.

The realization that fear can prevent one from pursuing their purpose in life.

The year 2015 was declared as the 'Do it anyway' year, embracing challenges despite fear.

Taking the first-ever solo vacation and engaging in adventurous activities symbolize stepping out of comfort zones.

Writing the book 'I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual' as a significant personal achievement.

Skydiving as a metaphor for facing fears and taking bold actions for truth-telling.

Comfort is overrated, and discomfort can lead to challenging the status quo.

The importance of honesty, integrity, and justice as core values driving the speaker's actions.

The concept of 'professional troublemakers' and their role in societal change.

The power of speaking up against discriminatory practices and the impact it can have.

The 'Me Too' movement as an example of collective action against powerful figures.

Being true to oneself as a revolutionary act in a conformist world.

The three questions the speaker asks before speaking out: meaning, defendability, and love.

The necessity of speaking truth to power for the greater good and building bridges on truth.

The call to action for everyone to be a 'domino' and contribute to positive societal change.

Transcripts

I'm a professional troublemaker.

(Laughter)

As my job is to critique the world,

the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better,

as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --

(Laughter)

I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

(Laughter)

I am the person who is looking at other people,

like, "I need you to fix it."

That is me.

I want us to leave this world better than we found it.

And how I choose to effect change

is by speaking up,

by being the first and by being the domino.

For a line of dominoes to fall,

one has to fall first,

which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same.

And that domino that falls,

we're hoping that, OK,

the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.

Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up

and doing the things that are really difficult,

especially when they are needed,

with the hope that others will follow suit.

And here's the thing: I'm the person who says

what you might be thinking but dared not to say.

A lot of times people think that we're fearless,

the people who do this, we're fearless.

We're not fearless.

We're not unafraid of the consequences

or the sacrifices that we have to make

by speaking truth to power.

What happens is, we feel like we have to,

because there are too few people in the world

willing to be the domino,

too few people willing to take that fall.

We're not doing it without fear.

Now, let's talk about fear.

I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

Doctor Luvvie was the dream.

I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.

(Laughter)

And I remember when I went to college,

my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101

for my premed major.

I got the first and last D of my academic career.

(Laughter)

So I went to my advisor, and I was like,

"OK, let's drop the premed,

because this doctor thing is not going to work,

because I don't even like hospitals.

So ..."

(Laughter)

"Let's just consider that done for."

And that same semester, I started blogging.

That was 2003.

So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning.

And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job

when I lost my marketing job in 2010.

But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer."

Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer,"

because I was afraid of what happens

without 401ks,

without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit?

That's important to me."

(Laughter)

So it took me that long to own this thing

that was what my purpose was.

And then I realized,

fear has a very concrete power

of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.

And I was like, "You know what?

I'm not going to let fear rule my life.

I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do."

And then all of these awesome things started happening,

and dominoes started to fall.

So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015,

I turned 30,

it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.'

Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it."

So, I'm a Capricorn.

I like my feel solidly on the ground.

I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation,

and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic.

So on my birthday, what did I do?

I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana.

And for some odd reason, I had on business casual.

Don't ask why.

(Laughter)

And I had an incredible time.

Also, I don't like being submerged in water.

I like to be, again, on solid ground.

So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater.

And then the cool thing that I did also that year

that was my mountain

was I wrote my book,

"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"

And I had to own --

(Applause)

that whole writing thing now, right?

Yes.

But the very anti-me thing that I did that year

that scared the crap out of me --

I went skydiving.

We're about to fall out of the plane.

I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."

(Laughter)

And then we come falling down to Earth,

and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like,

"I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."

(Laughter)

"What is wrong with me?!"

But then I looked down at the beauty,

and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done.

This was an amazing decision."

And I think about the times when I have to speak truth.

It feels like I am falling out of that plane.

It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane,

and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"

but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.

Sitting at the edge of that plane

and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me.

And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth

against institutions and people who are bigger than me

and just forces that are more powerful than me,

I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.

But I realize comfort is overrated.

Because being quiet is comfortable.

Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable.

And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.

So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable

by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary.

And I --

(Applause)

And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths,

because honesty is so important to me.

My integrity is something I hold dear.

Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option.

We should always have justice.

Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --

(Laughter)

and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized.

But besides that, with these as my core values,

I have to speak the truth.

I have no other choice in the matter.

But people like me, the professional troublemakers,

should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes

who are always falling out of planes

or being the first one to take this hit.

People are so afraid of these acute consequences,

not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms

and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms --

we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.

And I firmly believe that our job in those times

is to disrupt what is happening.

And then if we're not the most powerful,

if two more of us band together,

it makes us powerful.

It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting,

you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out,

or just making sure that other person who can't make a point

is being heard.

Our job is to make sure they have room for that.

Everyone's well-being is community business.

If we made that a point, we'd understand that,

for the times when we need help,

we wouldn't have to look around so hard

if we made sure we were somebody else's help.

And there are times when I feel like

I have taken very public tumbles and falls,

like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference,

and they wanted me to pay my way there.

And then I did some research

and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated

and got their travel paid for.

The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for.

The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.

And I was like, "What do I do?"

And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly,

I could face financial loss.

But then I also understood that my silence serves no one.

So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,

and other women started coming out to talk about,

"I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality."

And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices

that this conference was participating in.

I felt like I was the domino

the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure

and wrote a piece about it.

I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career,

but I was like, "I've got to do this.

I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours.

And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.

(Laughter)

And I came back to a viral post

and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this."

And it started a conversation

about mental health and self-care,

and I was like, "OK. Alright.

This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."

And then so many people have been the domino

when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men.

And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too."

So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.

(Applause)

People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are.

Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are.

So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.

(Laughter)

This is me on my third birthday.

But I've been this girl all my life,

and I feel like even that's been the domino,

because in a world that wants us to walk around

as representatives of ourselves,

being yourself can be a revolutionary act.

And in a world that wants us to whisper,

I choose to yell.

(Applause)

When it's time to say these hard things,

I ask myself three things.

One: Did you mean it?

Two: Can you defend it?

Three: Did you say it with love?

If the answer is yes to all three,

I say it and let the chips fall.

That's important.

That checkpoint with myself

always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this."

Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths --

should not be a revolutionary act.

Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.

But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good,

we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.

Speaking of the greater good,

I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges

to common ground,

and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse.

So it is our job,

it is our obligation, it is our duty

to speak truth to power, to be the domino,

not just when it's difficult --

especially when it's difficult.

Thank you.

(Applause)