How to be confident

Summary

This video explores how to build real self-confidence, focusing on actionable steps like following through on promises to yourself, embracing discomfort, and avoiding constant comparison to others. It emphasizes the importance of trusting yourself, celebrating small wins, and maintaining a positive mindset. Practical tips include improving body language, speaking kindly to yourself, and keeping proof of your progress to remind you of your abilities. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with, but something you actively build through consistent effort and self-belief.

Takeaways

• 😀 Confidence is built, not innate. It comes from consistently proving to yourself that you are who you say you are.
• 😀 To build confidence, start by keeping the promises you make to yourself—whether it's studying, working, or exercising.
• 😀 Taking on challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for building real confidence.
• 😀 Don't compare yourself to others. Focus on your own progress and unique journey.
• 😀 Confidence comes from within. Celebrate your own victories and recognize how far you've come.
• 😀 Improve your body language and posture to signal confidence to your brain and others around you.
• 😀 Speak kindly to yourself. The way you talk about yourself directly influences your mindset and confidence.
• 😀 Confidence isn't about being perfect or fearless—it's about doing the hard things even when you're nervous.
• 😀 Keep a 'stack of proof'—track your achievements and positive feedback to remind yourself of your worth during tough times.
• 😀 Real confidence is a decision that takes time, effort, and willingness to face discomfort and grow.
• 😀 Focus on building a track record of following through on your commitments, no matter how small the task.

Q & A

What is the root cause of lacking confidence?

The root cause of lacking confidence is the lack of evidence that you are who you say you are. Confidence is built on trusting yourself, and if your actions don’t align with your desired self-image, you’ll struggle with feeling like a fraud.

How can I start building confidence?

You can start building confidence by keeping the promises you make to yourself. Start with small commitments, like studying or working out, and follow through with them. This will help build a track record of trust in yourself.

Why is comparison harmful to confidence?

Comparison is harmful because it shifts your focus from your own progress to someone else's journey. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and constantly comparing yourself can make you feel inadequate. It’s important to appreciate your own unique journey.

How does body language impact confidence?

Your body language directly affects how you feel about yourself. When you slouch or avoid eye contact, your brain interprets these cues as insecurity. By improving your posture and making eye contact, you signal confidence to both yourself and others.

What role do words play in building confidence?

The words you speak to yourself hold significant power. If you consistently tell yourself negative things like 'I’m not confident' or 'I can’t do this,' you reinforce those beliefs. Instead, speak kindly to yourself, reinforcing positive beliefs and encouraging confidence.

What is the importance of doing hard things on purpose?

Doing hard things on purpose is essential for building confidence. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and shows you that you are capable of handling challenges, even when you're scared or nervous. Confidence grows when you prove to yourself that you can do difficult things.

How can I stop feeling like a fraud when I don’t meet my own expectations?

Start by creating a 'stack of proof' — a collection of achievements, positive feedback, and progress you’ve made. When you feel like a fraud, review this evidence to remind yourself of how much you’ve accomplished and that you’re capable of more.

What should I do if I feel stuck or discouraged in my personal growth journey?

When you feel stuck, focus on your past successes and achievements. Keep a record of your wins, whether it's a journal or a photo album, and use it as a reminder that you’ve made progress. Also, be kind to yourself and remember that growth takes time.

Why is it important to celebrate small wins?

Celebrating small wins is crucial because it reinforces positive behavior and boosts your motivation. Each step forward, no matter how small, is proof that you’re making progress, and celebrating these victories helps build confidence over time.

How can I avoid letting setbacks diminish my confidence?

To avoid letting setbacks diminish your confidence, remember that setbacks are part of the journey. Use them as learning experiences and keep focusing on your progress. Maintain your 'stack of proof' as a reminder that you've succeeded before and will succeed again.