AP Seminar: Including Citations and Modeling Virtual Peer Review

Summary

This educational video features Jerry Gonzales and Mrs. Allison Malloy guiding students through the final stages of paper writing. They emphasize the importance of proper citation, grammar, and peer review for enhancing readability and academic integrity. The instructors provide tips on integrating citations as they write, using consistent styles like APA or MLA, and avoiding common grammatical pitfalls. They also discuss the significance of clear communication, avoiding verbosity, and the strategic use of transition words to improve essay flow. The video concludes with advice on peer feedback, adhering to word count limits, and utilizing editing tools for refining the paper.

Takeaways

• 📝 Importance of Citations: The video emphasizes the necessity of citing sources correctly and consistently throughout the paper to avoid losing points on the rubric.
• 🔍 Cite as You Go: Encourages students to cite sources as they write to avoid forgetting which sources were used and where specific information was obtained from.
• 🎯 Rubric Clarity: Explains the grading rubric's criteria for citations, distinguishing between zero, three, and five-point scores based on the accuracy and consistency of citations.
• 📚 Consistency in Citation Styles: Stresses the importance of using either APA or MLA consistently and not mixing the two styles in a single paper.
• 📚 Parenthetical and Narrative Citations: Discusses two methods of citing sources in the text: parenthetically and by integrating the author's name into the narrative.
• 📝 Grammar and Style: Highlights the significance of correct grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure for clear communication and high scores on the rubric.
• ✍️ Writing Elevation: Points out that effective writing can elevate the message of a paper, but warns against overcomplicating language which can detract from the argument.
• 🔍 Peer Review Strategies: Suggests using questions and clarification for effective peer review, rather than generic positive feedback that doesn't provide constructive criticism.
• 📉 Avoiding Wordiness: Advises against unnecessary repetition and the overuse of certain words like 'that' to reduce word count and improve conciseness.
• 📚 Utilizing Tools: Recommends using tools like Hemingway app, Pro Writing Aid, and others for grammar, style, and word count assistance.
• 👂 Reading Out Loud: Suggests reading the paper out loud as a method to catch errors and improve the flow of writing that a computer might not detect.

Q & A

What is the main focus of the video lesson presented in the transcript?

The main focus of the video lesson is on the finalization of a paper, specifically looking at citations, spelling, grammar, and peer review strategies to improve the readability and overall quality of the paper.

Why is it recommended to cite sources as you write the paper instead of adding them afterward?

Citing sources as you write helps to avoid forgetting which sources were used or where in the source the information was obtained from, thus preventing potential issues with incomplete or incorrect citations.

What are the consequences of missing citations or not having a work cited page in a paper?

Missing citations or lacking a work cited page can result in earning zero points for the rubric row that assesses citations, which is avoidable and significantly impacts the paper's score.

What are the differences between earning three or five points for rubric row six?

Three points are earned if the citations are generally consistent but have some errors, while five points are awarded for accurate and consistently styled citations with very few flaws throughout the paper and no issues with the reference page.

What are some common mistakes students make when it comes to citations and how can they be avoided?

Common mistakes include inconsistent or uneven citations, poor attributing phrasing, and reliance on URLs instead of proper citations. These can be avoided by adhering to a consistent citation style, integrating author names properly, and using tools like the citation button in academic databases to generate correct citations.

What is the importance of using a variety of citation methods in a paper?

Using a variety of citation methods, such as parenthetical citations and author integration, demonstrates the mark of an effective writer and helps to avoid monotony in the writing style, making the paper more engaging.

Why is it essential to cite any time you are directly quoting, summarizing, or paraphrasing the work of another author?

Citing when quoting, summarizing, or paraphrasing ensures proper attribution of the source material, which is crucial for academic integrity and gives credit to the original author's ideas and research.

What is the role of grammar, particularly the use of commas, in ensuring the clarity of a paper?

Correct grammar, especially the use of commas, helps to clearly communicate ideas by separating clauses, setting off non-essential information, and avoiding grammatical errors that can confuse the reader.

What are some strategies to improve the flow of ideas in a paper?

Strategies to improve the flow of ideas include using the appropriate transition words to reflect the intention of the writer, ensuring clear topic sentences, and maintaining a logical organization of paragraphs.

How can peer feedback be used effectively to improve a paper?

Effective peer feedback involves asking questions, seeking clarification, and providing specific and actionable insights tied to the rubric. It should prompt the writer to reflect on their own thinking and make necessary revisions.

What are some common pitfalls students encounter when revising their papers?

Common pitfalls include trying to do too much by overcomplicating the language, not properly citing sources, and neglecting to address the research question or multiple perspectives. Students should focus on clear communication and adherence to the rubric.

Why is it important to keep the word count within the specified limits?

Keeping the word count within limits ensures that the paper is concise and focused on the task. Excessive wordiness can lead to a waste of effort and may result in graders not reading beyond the specified limit.

What are some tools or strategies that can help with editing and revising a paper?

Tools like Expresso, StyleWriter, Hemingway app, and others can help with editing and revising by checking grammar, style, and word count. Additionally, reading the paper out loud can help identify areas that may not sound right or could be improved.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Finalizing Paper Details: Citations and Grammar

The video begins with an introduction to a lesson focusing on the final stages of paper writing, specifically addressing the often-overlooked details that can significantly impact a paper's readability. The instructors, Jerry Gonzales and Mrs. Allison Malloy, emphasize the importance of citations and grammar, advising students to complete their first draft before proceeding. They stress the need for proper attribution of sources and adherence to citation conventions, such as APA or MLA, to avoid losing points. The lesson also covers peer review strategies to further enhance the quality of the students' work.

05:00

🔍 Understanding Citations and Referencing Styles

This paragraph delves into the specifics of citations, highlighting the common pitfalls students face when not citing as they write, such as forgetting sources or specific page numbers. The instructors provide guidance on how to cite effectively, using a consistent style throughout the paper. They explain the difference between earning zero, three, or five points on the rubric for citations, with zero points being awarded for missing citations or a work cited/bibliography. The paragraph also compares APA and MLA styles, showing how to cite sources in both and encouraging students to use the citation tools available in academic databases to assist with proper citation.

10:01

📝 Grammar and Writing Conventions

The focus shifts to grammar and writing conventions, with the instructors discussing the importance of clear and concise writing. They address common grammatical errors, particularly with comma usage, and explain the correct use of commas in various sentence structures. The paragraph also touches on the use of semicolons and the avoidance of comma splices. The instructors provide tips for improving sentence flow and coherence, suggesting the use of transition words to link ideas and elevate the overall quality of the writing.

15:03

📉 Rubric Row Analysis: Grammar and Clarity

The instructors analyze the rubric rows related to grammar and clarity, explaining how papers are scored based on the presence of grammatical errors and the organization of the content. They describe the scoring system, where a paper with numerous grammatical issues and poor organization may receive zero points, while a paper that is mostly clear but has minor errors may receive two points. A high-scoring paper, earning three points, is characterized by elevated writing that enhances the message of the paper without being overly complicated or distracting.

20:05

📌 Self-Editing and Peer Review Techniques

This paragraph discusses strategies for self-editing and peer review, providing questions to guide students in evaluating their work against the rubric. The instructors advise students to ensure their topic is related to a theme from the stimulus material and to check for explicit references to the stimulus throughout their paper. They also suggest looking at the structure of body paragraphs, the use of evidence, and the presence of a counter-argument. The paragraph concludes with advice on how to effectively use peer feedback to improve the paper, emphasizing the importance of clear communication of ideas.

25:07

📝 Final Paper Revision and Submission Tips

The final paragraph offers advice on the final stages of paper revision and submission. The instructors remind students not to wait until the end to write their reference pages and to ensure that the number of references matches those used in the paper. They also discuss the importance of having a clear solution or recommendation in the paper and the need to avoid trying to do too much, which can lead to a lack of clarity. The paragraph includes tips on how to give and receive effective feedback, the importance of staying within the word count, and the use of tools to help with editing and grammar. The instructors conclude by encouraging students to reflect on their work and to continue improving their writing skills.

Keywords

💡Citations

Citations are formal references to the sources from which information is borrowed in academic writing. They are crucial for avoiding plagiarism and giving credit to original authors. In the video, the emphasis on citing as you go suggests that students should reference sources while writing their paper to avoid forgetting where they obtained their information. The script mentions that failing to cite properly can lead to a score of zero on the rubric, indicating its importance in the grading process.

💡Grammar

Grammar refers to the set of structural rules governing the composition of sentences, phrases, and words in a language. The video script highlights the importance of correct grammar for the clarity and readability of academic writing. It mentions common errors such as incorrect use of commas and suggests that grammatical mistakes can lead to a paper being scored zero if they make the paper difficult to understand.

💡Peer Review

Peer review is a process where students or colleagues evaluate each other's work to provide feedback and improve the quality of the writing. The script discusses strategies for effective peer review, emphasizing the need for depth, clarity, and relevance to the rubric. It also warns against superficial feedback that lacks substance and encourages asking questions and providing clarification instead.

💡Rubric

A rubric is a set of criteria on which students' work is assessed, typically used in education to grade assignments. The video script frequently refers to a rubric, detailing how different aspects of the paper, such as citations, grammar, and peer review, are scored. It underscores the importance of adhering to the rubric's criteria to achieve a high score.

💡APA and MLA

APA and MLA are two widely used citation styles in academic writing, standing for the American Psychological Association and the Modern Language Association, respectively. The script mentions that students are likely using either APA or MLA for their citations and emphasizes the importance of consistency in citation style throughout the paper.

💡Attribution

Attribution in writing refers to the act of crediting the source of information or ideas. The video script stresses the importance of proper attribution to ensure that the work of others is acknowledged correctly. It discusses how to attribute sources both parenthetically and through integrated author names within the text.

💡Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is the process of rewording or rephrasing a text while maintaining the original meaning, often used to present someone else's ideas in one's own words. The script warns against poor paraphrasing, where simply changing a few words does not constitute true rephrasing and should be treated as a direct quote requiring citation.

💡Word Count

Word count refers to the total number of words in a document, which is a common requirement for academic papers. The script discusses the importance of adhering to a specified word count, mentioning that exceeding the limit can result in the extra writing not being read or considered by graders.

💡Transitions

Transitions are words or phrases that connect ideas within a text, helping to guide the reader through the flow of arguments or narrative. The script mentions that finding the right transition is crucial for reflecting the writer's intention and ensuring that ideas flow logically and coherently.

💡Editing

Editing is the process of reviewing and revising written work to improve its clarity, coherence, and correctness. The video script suggests using various tools and strategies for editing, such as reading the text aloud, using editing apps, and focusing on proper grammar and word choice to enhance the overall quality of the paper.

💡IWA (Insightful Writing Assignment)

The Insightful Writing Assignment (IWA) seems to be the specific academic task or paper that the students are working on, as mentioned in the script. The focus of the video is to help students reflect on their IWA to ensure that their essay communicates their ideas and those of others effectively.

Highlights

Jerry Gonzales and Mrs. Allison Malloy discuss the final touches of their paper focusing on citations, spelling, grammar, and peer review strategies.

Emphasis on completing the first draft before beginning the lesson to properly evaluate the paper.

Importance of citing sources as you write to avoid forgetting crucial information for citations.

Explanation of rubric row six focusing on proper citation and work cited/bibliography to avoid zero points.

Differentiating between three and five points on the rubric based on consistency and accuracy of citations.

Clarification on the use of APA or MLA citation styles and the importance of not mixing them up.

Demonstration of how to cite sources both parenthetically and by integrating author names into the text.

Advising on the use of a citation button in academic databases to generate citations.

Instructions on when to cite, including direct quotes, summarizing, and paraphrasing, with a focus on proper attribution.

Highlighting the difference between summarizing and paraphrasing and the importance of accurate citation.

Rubric row seven focuses on writing conventions, clarity, and the impact of word choice on the paper's message.

Advice on avoiding grammatical errors and bad organization that can lead to a score of zero.

Discussion on the correct use of commas and other punctuation for clarity in writing.

Tips for improving transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the paper.

The significance of keeping the paper's word count within the specified limit and avoiding unnecessary repetition.

Recommendation to use tools like Hemingway app and other editing software to refine grammar and manage word count.

Advice on how to give and receive effective peer feedback with a focus on questions and clarification.

Encouragement to reflect on one's own work and consider how well ideas are communicated in the paper.

Transcripts

okay everybody welcome back we have a

special treat for you guys today coming

to you live from the Midwest it's both

of us on Jerry Gonzales I teach at Lane

tech college prep and I am with mrs.

Allison Malloy from Carmel High School

in Carmel Indiana we are getting through

the final touches of our paper today

taking a look at some of the more

tedious aspects of finalizing our paper

looking at our citations and our

spelling grammar all of that little

stuff that makes a big difference in the

readability of our paper and then we'll

be taking a final look at some peer

review strategies for you to further

improve your paper so let's take a look

at some of the things that we're gonna

be working on today but before we get

there

please don't continue with this lesson

until you've finished the first complete

draft of your paper it's sort of

difficult to evaluate row six and seven

until you've actually written a draft so

come back and take a look at this once

you are done with the first draft of

your paper and please be sure to check

out the previous videos where we where

we sort of walk you step-by-step on how

to get get to this point so today's

lesson is focusing on attribution of

knowledge adhering to established

conventions and then reflecting and

revisiting revising your own work the

big picture goal for us today is to have

you reflect on your IWA to make sure

that your essay clearly communicates

your ideas as well as the ideas of

others okay so looking at what we're

what we want you to know for today much

of what we're covering today deals with

generally tedious but very important

aspects in writing so citations and

conventions so if you're anything like

my students you probably write your

paper and then try to fill in your

citations and everything afterward after

you're done with everything

and as much as I try to get my students

to get them to site as they go along

many of them put it off until after

they're much further along in the

writing process and this can create some

problems because sometimes students

forget what source they wanted to cite

or they forget specifically where in the

source what page they got the their

quote from and so very important I want

to encourage you to cite as you go okay

so please make sure that you save

yourself some time especially right now

if you're a little bit more crunched for

time or pressed for time that you are

citing as you go along so there's a lot

going on here on this rubric row rubric

row six you can see we have zero three

or five points and so very very

generally four zero points if your

response is largely missing citations

throughout the paper or if you don't

have a work cited or bibliography you're

gonna earn a score of zero points for

that row this is very avoidable okay so

as part of your submission and as part

of us just taking a look over over our

papers just make sure that you are

citing as you go and make sure that

there is a work cited page at the end of

your paper and you'll you can avoid

getting this zero points sometimes you

may be working on a couple of different

documents and your work cited it's not

on the on the document that you turned

in and so that leads you to a score of

zero more common is the distinct

distinguishing what earns you a three or

a five for this row so for for rubric

row six you earn three points if you use

a generally consistent style but if you

have some errors throughout your paper

so some of those errors might be

inconsistent or uneven citations if you

have poor or no attributing phrasing on

clear references or if you are relying

too much on URLs in your work cited page

to really give us where your information

is coming

from and then for five points our work

cited in our bibliographies are accurate

they're consistent in style

very few flaws throughout the paper no

flaws in terms of what the reference

page at the end of your paper looks like

there's really no set way for you to

cite most of you are probably using

either APA or MLA so whatever your

teacher has taught you to use at this

point please continue to use that you

are not penalized for using one or the

other just don't mix them up okay so if

you're using APA make sure you're using

APA if you're using MLA make sure you're

using MLA and you can see on the screen

here that there are many similar and

they're pretty similar there's not much

of a difference in terms of how we use

them it's just a matter of what's being

emphasized here so we have two separate

citations for the same source our

economy and Deaton source here and this

is just a way that it would look in the

reference in the references in an APA

paper or in a work cited in an MLA paper

okay and what I want you to focus on

here at the bottom the the two bullet

points at the bottom here there are two

separate ways that you can reference a

paper or reference a source in your

paper you can do it parenthetically

which is the first bullet point where it

says Kahneman Deaton and then there's

for APA there's common twenty ten or

just Kahneman Deaton or if you choose to

embed and integrate the names of the

author's into the actual body of the

paper you can also do it that way as

well I always encourage my students to

mix it up don't just use one way or

another okay so having a variety is is

is the marker of an effective writer if

you are having some troubles or if you

just want some help with how to actually

generate a citation how to make the

citation on the on Etsuko so if you're

using that school and don't forget you

should be incorporating academic or

from from this database into your paper

there's actually whenever you open up a

source whenever you open up a file from

this database there's always a citation

button on the right hand side that you

can click on and it'll generate a

citation for you in whatever whatever

citation style you're using so in this

case I have pulled up right now I

clicked on citation and then I have my

APA citation here you just have to be

careful to make sure that you are

following the capitalization rules

sometimes it gets thrown off a little

bit but this is definitely a useful tool

for my students so I encourage you to

take a look at this as well or use any

other resources that your teachers have

given you as far as when you should cite

because really this is what the most

important part of this rubric Row is

when you should be citing and what that

ends up looking like so it's it's

there's no such thing as citing too much

okay so you should be citing anytime

that you're directly quoting or any time

that you are summarizing or paraphrasing

the work of another author so these two

things are different it's not the same

so summarizing is a shortened version

shortening a version of what's up what

another source says and incorporating

that into your source versus

paraphrasing is putting on other sources

ideas into your own words you should be

careful though when when you think that

you're paraphrasing you can't just come

up with synonyms for their words and

call it paraphrasing that is still

basically a quote and it should be

treated as such

okay so sometimes my students think that

they're paraphrasing and they're

changing up some of the some of the

words using synonyms using a thesaurus

and when they submitted to turnitin.com

it's still coming up as very similar if

that's the case just use a quote it's

not bad to quote you can over quote but

what we really want you to do is to make

sure that you are

attributing the source okay and as we

said earlier you don't always have to do

it in parentheses whenever you're citing

a source so if you're using attributing

source phrases you can say for example

according to Smith or as Smith notes and

then climate change is argued by Smith

and then just you being consistent with

with the rules of your citation style

and then one way that you can possibly

save some words in case you're pressed

on the word count is to use the phrase

at all so if you look at that bottom

bullet point ET space al it's two

different words when you have more than

two authors so in let's say you have a

source with four different authors

instead of saying Smith Johnson James

and Garcia which you can see it's kind

of a mouthful you can say guard it

should be Smith at all or Garcia at all

okay

so moving on to rubric row seven okay

for rubric row seven were really just

focusing on your conventions okay so

three ways that you should look at it if

the reader reads your paper and if they

found your paper difficult to understand

because of the many grammatical errors

or if because of like a bad organization

this is typically going to lead to a

score of zero if the paper was mostly

clear so if we read your paper if we

read your paper and we get it for the

most part we didn't really get tripped

up on your word choice there weren't

really places where your sentence

structure was getting in the way for the

most part you're gonna get two points

here and then for three points your

phrasing your word choice it actually

elevates the messaging of your paper so

your paper is better because of the way

that it was written versus it

distracting because of it and so the the

the main difference that I want you to

pay attention to is the difference

between the middle column and the high

scoring column

so while both scoring columns you might

have a few errors in grammar and style

the high scoring column has an elevated

writing style that adds to the overall

messaging okay so there are a lot

sometimes you shouldn't use that as like

don't don't try to use words that are

maybe too big or don't try to like over

complicate your your word choice by

trying to elevate it too much because

sometimes it's possible to overdo this

by being too wordy or using phrasing

that's over the top and it actually

detracts from your argument so it is

possible to be doing too much in this

rubric row that actually you actually

end up getting penalized because it was

not as effective as it could have been

all right so I'm gonna pick up here on

the grammar aspect of this and so as an

English teacher and you've only been

hearing this since you were in middle

school because hopefully you had great

middle school English teachers who were

really giving you the emphasis of your

grammar knowledge and but the idea that

commas are important and we should be

using them and that is especially true

when we are trying to be clear in our

presentation of information so when we

think about commas and I just

highlighted obviously there's a ton more

comma rules but these are the most

common ones where we see errors and

issues with punctuation so first of all

if we look use commas after introductory

phrases clauses and words so like for

example for Ornstein her daughter's

obsession so after that phrase then we

would make sure that's an introductory

phrase we would put a comma there the

most important one though use commas to

separate independent clauses when they

are joined by the seven coordinating

conjunctions so probably in middle

school you had a teacher teach you

fanboys I remember very distinctly that

I had a professor in college who said

fanboys was too easy

you should remember it as BAFF nosy

because then no one will ever

but those words are for and nor but or

yet and so those are the only words in

the English language that are strong

enough to combine two independent

clauses with a comma so what you'll

notice there is the word therefore it's

not there so if you have a sentence and

just a reminder an independent clause is

a subject and a verb and it makes sense

and you're trying to connect another

sentence with the words therefore and

just putting a comma that is incorrect

so make sure you only have those fanboys

or bath noisy which ever term you like

better when you are connecting

independent clauses i'm with

coordinating conjunctions use a comma in

the middle to set off words that are

non-essential so likewise there's an

intro and Mulan and Pocahontas arguably

the most resourceful of the bunch and

then we've got that friend use that text

your information therefore it's calming

off don't put a comma after the main

clause when the dependent clause follows

so for most of you what this means is

90% of the time it's probably higher

than that and but for most of you when

you use the word because you like to put

a comma before it and there's no comma

that needs to be there again it's not a

fanboy so there shouldn't be a comma

there so make sure you adjust that as

you can see Peggy Orenstein worries

about her daughter playing Little

Mermaid because no comma needs to be

there and then the one I talked about

earlier with the independent clauses

don't have comma splices a comma splice

is an error when you use a comma instead

of using a period or a semicolon a comma

is not the end-all be-all of punctuation

as some of you like to think it is and I

know some of you are saying well this

isn't necessarily an English class why

two commas matter so much because commas

help you clearly communicate and even at

the college level they expect you to

have a basic understanding of commas and

semicolons and so a semicolon is

interchangeable with a period Mulan and

Pocahontas are really depicted on

princess merchandise that is a complete

sentence object verb makes sense so I

put a semicolon then I have the word

therefore their rustic garb has less

bling potential than that of old school

heroines like

Sleeping Beauty again you do not see a

comma there so at the end of the day

when you're thinking about Grandma how

can I do better with my grammar learn

how to use commas and if you don't know

what that means again and I said it in

the last video but Purdue owl has a

wonderful site where they can give you a

lot of those extra grammar practice and

I'm sure you have an English teacher

that has just been waiting her whole

life or his whole life for someone to

ask about how to use commas and they

will be there for you other things you

can do avoid choppy sentences if your

sentences always start with this or that

adjust those and then I know mr.

Gonzalez is going to talk to you more

about how to fix up those transitions

because that makes a huge difference as

well yeah so I think one of the when

once we actually get the messaging down

for our paper one of the one of the

things that we really want to work on is

making our ideas flow and so sometimes

what my students struggle with the most

is finding the right transition to

reflect what their intention is so many

of my students will for example confuse

the transition although and while and so

that's on this group on the screen right

now what we have here are a bunch of

different transition words that you can

use depending on what your intention is

so if you want to add ideas you can add

a transition at the beginning of at the

beginning of a sentence that says

another or in fact or equally important

and then on and on here these these

types of transitions are made to link

ideas or to show a difference in ideas

so this is these are tools that more

experienced writers are going to utilize

in order to elevate their language to

really jump into that high scoring

column for the final rubric row

all right so when we think about how to

put all of this stuff together because

we just went through both of the rubric

grows and now we're looking at our paper

for what it is we want to start with the

big picture what are those big things we

need to focus on and we want to keep I'd

very closely on that rubric because that

is how we are being scored so if we

drift too far from that it's going to be

problematic so some questions for you to

consider that we came up with together

based on the rubric number one and one

of the most important ones because we

don't want to get that zero is our topic

or question related to a theme from the

stimulus and is this explicit if it's

not explicitly stated that is a problem

okay are you referencing stimulus

material and is it actually used in the

argument it's used in the introduction

don't count that as a use where else is

it used and that is a really big thing

if you're unsure just make a copy of

your document cut that out and then try

to read it was it introduced was it used

do we even notice if it disappears does

your introduction provide enough context

to help prove the significance do we

have sources that tell us why it matters

and then did your thesis specifically

address your question and do you have a

specific position and is that position

debatable as you go through these

questions you're welcome to pause the

slide South Coast

you know self-edit or find a partner and

then go through and really address these

questions if you don't see it clearly

consider it not there

when we then look at outside of that

introduction piece do our body

paragraphs begin with a claim and we've

talked a lot about this in lesson 6 7 &

8 right if you're starting with evidence

you're not necessarily putting enough

voice in your own argument or making

that a point of emphasis so you want to

make sure you adjust that make sure they

start with a claim make sure there's at

least two pieces of evidence does your

analysis connect the claim and evidence

do you have more commentary or analysis

than evidence or description one of the

things we talked about in lesson 8

highlight your evidence that way you can

see what the ratio looks like and if you

have too much um do you have a

counter-argument and if you do did you

offer evidence to establish it and then

disprove it do you have your research

question have you considered it as

you've made that whole argument does it

actually align and is it still true

because if it's not valid anymore or if

it doesn't align that's concerning do

you have multiple perspectives and did

you use relevant and credible evidence

to put those together and to make sure

and again like mr. Gonzalez said at the

beginning don't wait till the end to

write your reference page we're excited

page bibliography because that's how

we're grading and that row of the rubric

anyway based on the use of sources and

what you actually include and then we

get to the end do I have a solution a

recommendation or a conclusion remember

don't be those kids trying to do too

much really no your question no your

goal are you writing a position paper or

a solution paper and then make sure you

fully and plausibly proven it don't try

to take on too much did you properly

cite did a number of references in your

paper match the number of references you

actually use and that's an easy thing

you know just go through your reference

page check off the things that you use

and if you see anything still standing

there then you need to get rid of it

this is not an annotated bibliography

it's not a works consulted it should

just be the ones you've actually used in

your paper and then is it clear what

your wording is versus what the wording

is that comes from other sources and did

you properly attribute

and then at the end of the day none of

this matters if you don't clearly

communicate your ideas and I want to

pick up on one of the things mr.

Gonzalez said because as a greater I

will emphasize the fact that some people

are just trying to do too much you go to

the source you find all these fancy

words you make it sound really really

nice but it says absolutely nothing and

we have no idea what you're talking

about just because you use big words and

a lot of them does not mean you're gonna

score high here it's about a clear

communication of your ideas which

there's that nice balance between making

it not sound like a child wrote it but

also making it understandable so then

when we look at and you may be this way

but I have a lot of students who love to

just get through peer feedback as

quickly as they can and this is the kind

of stuff they do so they write these

evaluative things and they write stuff

that's not gonna hurt anybody's feelings

but really they don't know what they're

saying so that you know introduction

looks good good evidence good job with

your claim right that's all they say

they have they have no depth to it but

then they can check off the box of it

miss Molloy I'm done it looks good and

then when I look at that paper even

though I can't give the feedback I want

to say oh it's it's not good they're

missing there's no reference to the

stimulus here but it doesn't matter

because their peer editor said it looks

good

so what can we do to be better so let's

look at a better example of what

effective feedback actually looks like

so effective feedback actually and I

emphasize a lot of questions and

clarification so I like to think of a

survivor if you've ever watched survivor

Jeff Probst doesn't tell the people that

they're stupid

he just clarifies and repeats the things

that they said and then magically this

light bulb goes off in their head that

proves to them that maybe that was a

dumb decision or maybe that is not

something I should worry about so here

instead of saying looks good right if we

look at that first one where's your

connection to the stimulus the rubric in

tax or in tasks directions say explicit

where's the connection I've asked the

student I've made the student think

about what that looks like then I have

all the stuff in highlight in the next

section you use outside evidence to

provide context right that's not even

you ate if I'm just saying what they did

I'm clarify and then at the end when I

look at their claim it looks like you're

arguing for a solution the use of

virtual cadavers and educating medical

students is that accurate

the goal of effective feedback is to

give the writer food for thought it's

not for you to finish it quickly it's

also not for you to tell them all the

things that you necessarily think are

wrong it's to make them reflect on their

own thinking with staying close and tied

to the actual rubric so that they have

an eye on what they should be taking

away so when we think about tips and how

we can do this better number one and I

just said this it stays tied to the

rubric base your feedback on what the

rubric actually says one of the big

things that we hear in our grade

training all the time and this is good

for you students as well is it's not

what it feels like it's what the rubric

says so look at the rubric and evaluate

based on the rule number two don't infer

meaning if it isn't clear treat it like

it isn't there and for whatever reason

that makes me think of OJ in the glove

right if it doesn't fit you have to

acquit but if it isn't clear it's not

clear we don't know we can't infer and

that is on all of the greater notes when

they go to score is the fact that if we

have to infer any type of meaning just

assume it's not there okay we're not

putting the pieces together if you're

going to convince us you have to do it

be specific and avoid general

evaluations right looks good that

doesn't work there's there's no two

strengths there ask questions really

give the writer something to ponder if

you are the writer be purposeful and

come prepared I love the idea of coming

prepared because it's 2,000 words we

realized that even if you don't have a

lot of things to do right now because

you're quarantined and stuck the thing

that you probably don't want to do all

day is read someone else's two thousand

word essay and so as you're going

through if you can tell them hey I'm

really nervous about alignment between

my claim and my voice then they know

specifically what they're looking at and

they can do a better job of going more

in depth by just focusing on one thing

rather than trying to look at the whole

paper 2,000 words is a lot I totally get

that

we get that and so it's a matter of

saying here's what I don't feel good

about here's where I want your eyes and

then reflect on the feedback not all

feedback is equal and you know this from

being in the classroom right so if a kid

says something and you don't agree with

it make sure you can defend why you

didn't take their feedback and then why

you take the feedback you do because at

the end of the day it's your paper and

you want to score well but you also have

to be receptive to and that feedback in

that criticism but there's a fine line

between the fact that you know more

about your paper and your topic than

they do but at the end of the day if an

outsider can't understand it or if it

doesn't come through we need to really

take that into consideration

okay so a few other points just to think

about as where we would be remiss if we

didn't talk about word count as both of

us know there are some of you that think

2000 words means 3000 and the 1200 word

IRR is going to be 2000 words and so we

want to keep in mind that it's 2,000

words with a 10% overage so we're at

2,200 what's your word count and if

you're telling me right now and you're

in your head to like I don't know you

need to look at it right this excludes

your footnotes your bibliography and any

texts that you have in a visual a graph

chart things like that but make sure you

know your word count if you are over

like and if you are I had a kid one year

at kid you not who was at 2201 and he

was so worried about that one word that

one word is not gonna matter at that

point if they don't read anything past

2200 is one word really gonna be the

difference between you on the rubric

group but if you are over you need to

think about do you have any unnecessary

information should I combine sentences

because a lot of you like to repeat the

same thing that a quote says after you

put it in a quote you then have a

sentence that follows up that's the

exact same sentence so did you say the

same thing twice and the other one that

I noticed is that a lot of you use the

word that because it sounds nice but you

don't necessarily need it so if you file

find the word that that's an easy one to

eliminate for some of you it's 50 to 100

words that you can just get rid of right

away but really keep an eye on word

count because we love you all and we're

going to grade your papers but when they

become excessive all that extra writing

you did is going to be wasted we are not

reading it so you want to really keep

true and like I said earlier college

words not going to give you 2,000 words

if they think you really need 3,000

they're not setting you up to fail they

want to reward you for what you do well

and then we also know that there's a

bunch of free tools that are out there

that can help Express so editing a style

pro writing aid those are ones that

people in my school use I'm big on the

Hemingway app I think it's a great app

but again with all of those remembered

that they're going to be looking at a

specific purpose and so keep in mind

what they're saying but those are easy

ones that can touch up your grammar and

conventions and can help you with word

count as well one other thing

slow and word-count there are programs

where you can actually put text in and

it'll read it out loud to you if you are

unsure of what it sounds like or if

there's a better way to say it listen to

it because in our head we're fixing

errors that a computer is not going to

fix okay so keep those things in mind

and then let's go back and remind

ourselves of where we've been so our

focus for today was to attribute

knowledge correctly to adhere to

conventions and to reflect and revise on

our own thinking so hopefully you're

walking away at the end of this

reflecting on your own

IWA and thinking about how well you

clearly communicate your ideas as well

as the ideas of others and then what you

can do better going forward next steps

please review your paper for citations

and conventions and if you are one of

those people that mr. gonzales is

talking about who haven't actually put

those citations in or done the reference

we're excited because we had a few page

please do it because it's the first

thing your graders are going to look at

and it shouldn't be an afterthought find

a classmate that you can peer review

with and again if you don't look at

anything else look at the stimulus and

see if it's connected and what the use

of is and then work on revising and

improving your paper as always if you

have any device or internet access

issues please reach out to College Board

directly so that they can help you

resolve those because they are committed

to that equity and access peace

and then on behalf of mr. Gonzalez and I

we want to thank you for joining us we

have one lesson left and we look forward

to seeing you there