Understanding Emotions - Part 1

Summary

In this Actualized.org video, Leo delves into the mastery of emotions, emphasizing the importance of emotional vocabulary and understanding emotions' role in life. He discusses the link between emotions and behaviors, highlighting how poor emotional intelligence can lead to unresourceful actions and life dissatisfaction. Leo introduces a model from the Sedona Method to categorize emotions, urging viewers to practice mindfulness to become more aware of their emotional states. He stresses that emotions are neither inherently good nor bad and that true life fulfillment comes from achieving peace and acceptance. The video concludes with a practical exercise to enhance emotional awareness and the promise of transformation through consistent practice.

Takeaways

• 🧡 Emotions are a complex matrix of feelings in the body and mind, not just simple labels like 'anger' or 'happiness'.
• 📚 Developing an emotional vocabulary is crucial for understanding and managing one's emotions effectively.
• 🤔 Many people lack the ability to identify and articulate their emotions, which can hinder personal growth and success.
• 💡 Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a significant factor in achieving success and fulfillment in life, often more so than IQ.
• 🔄 Emotions are dynamic and ever-changing, flowing through us like waves rather than being static states.
• 🌐 Emotions act as a language of the body, communicating messages that can guide behavior and reactions.
• 🚫 Avoid labeling emotions as strictly 'good' or 'bad'; they are neither inherently positive nor negative.
• 🧘‍♂️ Mindfulness is key to gaining control over emotions, which involves observing them without judgment or attempts to suppress them.
• 📈 High EQ correlates with better decision-making and more resourceful behaviors, leading to improved life outcomes.
• 🔑 The ultimate goal is to cultivate emotions of peace, acceptance, and wholeness, as these are what truly drive human fulfillment.
• 🛠️ Practicing mindfulness through exercises, such as journaling emotions at set intervals throughout the day, can enhance emotional awareness and EQ.

Q & A

What is the main focus of Leo's video on actualized.org?

The main focus of Leo's video is on mastering emotions, building an emotional vocabulary, and understanding how emotions function in our lives.

Why did Leo feel compelled to create this video series on emotions?

Leo felt compelled to create this video series because he noticed that many of his clients in coaching sessions had a very limited emotional vocabulary, which hindered their ability to communicate and understand their feelings.

What is the significance of having a rich emotional vocabulary according to the video?

Having a rich emotional vocabulary is significant because it allows individuals to be more conscious of their feelings, identify emotions accurately, and avoid being dominated and controlled by their emotions in their daily lives.

What does Leo suggest is the correlation between high emotional intelligence (EQ) and success in life?

Leo suggests that high emotional intelligence (EQ), rather than IQ or logical rational intelligence, is one of the greatest character traits that correlate with success and fulfillment in life.

How does Leo define emotions in the video?

Leo defines emotions as a matrix of feelings in the body, a rich and complex set of sensations that are not just physical but also involve mental chatter and tonality.

What is the Sedona Method that Leo briefly mentions in the video?

The Sedona Method is a technique for releasing emotions, which Leo is not covering in detail in the video but uses their model to provide a framework for understanding different levels of emotions.

What are the categories of emotions that Leo discusses in the video?

Leo discusses categories of emotions such as apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride, courage, acceptance, and peace, moving from less resourceful to more resourceful emotional states.

How does Leo describe the process of mindfulness in relation to emotions?

Leo describes mindfulness in relation to emotions as the practice of stopping, feeling the emotion without judging or labeling it, and becoming fully aware of the sensations in the body and mind associated with the emotion.

What is the exercise Leo suggests to practice mindfulness and emotional awareness?

Leo suggests setting multiple alarms on a smartphone throughout the day. When each alarm rings, one should stop, feel the current emotion, and write it down in a journal without judging it as good or bad.

How does Leo's exercise aim to help individuals master their emotions?

The exercise aims to help individuals develop emotional awareness and higher EQ by practicing mindfulness consistently over a week, which can lead to better control over emotions and ultimately, mastery over one's life.

What is Leo's mission with actualized.org, as mentioned in the video?

Leo's mission with actualized.org is to research and find the most powerful concepts, mindsets, and principles that can help people apply them practically in their lives to create the extraordinary life they desire.

Outlines

00:00

🎓 Mastering Your Emotions: Introduction

Leo from Actualized.org introduces the video series on mastering emotions, emphasizing the importance of understanding emotions for personal development. He discusses the limited emotional vocabulary many people have and how it affects their ability to communicate and manage their feelings. The series aims to build emotional intelligence (EQ), which is linked to success and fulfillment more than IQ. Leo also addresses the misconception that some people are not emotional, arguing that everyone is driven by their emotions.

05:00

🧠 The Complexity of Emotions

Leo delves into the complexity of emotions, likening them to a matrix of feelings in the body and mind. He uses anger as an example to illustrate the various sensations, mental chatter, and tonality that make up a single emotion. He emphasizes that emotions are more than simple labels and that understanding their nuances is crucial for personal growth.

10:00

🌊 The Dynamic Nature of Emotions

Emotions are described as dynamic and flowing, rather than static states. Leo uses the analogy of red paint being injected into the veins to depict how emotions move through the body, affecting different parts before dissipating. He highlights that emotions are a language of the body, a rapid communication system that predates logic and rationality, and are the primary source of motivation in human life.

15:01

📊 The Hierarchy of Emotions

Leo presents a model from the Sedona Method to categorize emotions into a hierarchy ranging from unresourceful states like apathy to more resourceful and positive emotions like peace. He lists specific emotions under categories such as grief, fear, lust, anger, pride, courage, acceptance, and peace, encouraging viewers to visualize and feel each emotion to enhance their emotional vocabulary.

20:03

🧘‍♂️ Practicing Mindfulness with Emotions

Leo discusses the importance of mindfulness in becoming aware of one's emotions. He advises against labeling emotions as good or bad and instead encourages fully feeling and experiencing each emotion. He emphasizes that emotions are neither inherently good nor bad but are sensations in the body and mind. Leo also touches on the idea that emotions act as a bridge between the unconscious and conscious mind.

25:07

🧲 Emotions as Magnetic Forces

Emotions are likened to magnetic fields, guiding behavior towards or away from certain actions. Leo explains that while emotions can be powerful motivators for survival and reproduction, they are not always aligned with happiness or fulfillment. He suggests that to achieve higher goals, one must learn to manage negative emotional reactions and cultivate more positive, resourceful emotional states.

30:08

💪 Rewiring Emotions for Higher Consciousness

Leo speaks about the need to 'unwire' severe negative emotional reactions and transition towards higher consciousness emotions like peace and acceptance. He stresses that what people truly desire in life are the emotions of peace, acceptance, and wholeness, rather than material possessions or social status. He also addresses the question of whether emotions can be controlled, noting that direct control is not possible, but a form of 'pseudo control' can be achieved through mindfulness.

35:08

📝 Developing Mindfulness Through Journaling

Leo provides an exercise to practice mindfulness by setting multiple alarms throughout the day to prompt self-reflection on current emotions. He suggests writing these emotions down in a journal to build emotional awareness and EQ. By doing this consistently for a week, one can develop a heightened sense of emotional awareness, which is crucial for mastering emotions and, ultimately, life itself.

Keywords

💡Emotional Vocabulary

Emotional vocabulary refers to the range of words and expressions one uses to identify and communicate one's feelings. In the video, Leo emphasizes the importance of having a rich emotional vocabulary, as it helps individuals to be more conscious of their feelings and to articulate them effectively. The script mentions that many people have a limited emotional vocabulary, which hinders their ability to understand and manage their emotions.

💡Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. The video discusses EQ as a critical component of mastering one's emotions and achieving success and fulfillment in life. Studies mentioned in the script have found a strong correlation between high EQ and life success, surpassing the impact of traditional intelligence (IQ).

💡Emotions

Emotions are complex psychological states that involve distinct experiences, physiological patterns, and behavioral responses to specific stimuli. The video script describes emotions as a matrix of feelings in the body and emphasizes their role in generating behaviors. Leo explains that understanding emotions is essential for self-improvement because they often drive actions and reactions unconsciously.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, without judgment. In the context of the video, Leo suggests that mindfulness is key to controlling emotions, not by suppressing or avoiding them, but by observing them as they arise. The script provides an exercise to practice mindfulness by setting alarms to check in with one's emotions throughout the day.

💡Behavior Loops

Behavior Loops refer to repetitive patterns of behavior that can be unresourceful or problematic and prevent individuals from achieving desired outcomes. The script mentions that emotions can create these loops, as they often lead to automatic responses that may not be beneficial. Breaking these loops is part of mastering emotions and improving one's life.

💡Self-Actualization

Self-actualization is the highest level of human psychological development, where one realizes their full potential and creativity. Leo mentions that to achieve self-actualization, one must study and master emotions, as ignoring them will hinder reaching one's highest potential. The video encourages viewers to understand emotions as a pathway to self-improvement and fulfillment.

💡Emotional Messages

Emotional messages are the internal cues or signals that emotions convey. The script explains that emotions can carry conscious messages that inform us of our internal state or needs. Understanding these messages can help individuals respond appropriately rather than reacting impulsively, which is a part of developing emotional intelligence.

💡Stoic

Stoicism is a philosophy that promotes emotional restraint and the idea that one should be indifferent to negative experiences. In the video, Leo challenges the notion that being stoic or unemotional is beneficial, arguing that everyone is an emotional being and that understanding and expressing emotions is crucial for a fulfilling life.

💡Apathy

Apathy is a state of indifference or lack of interest, which is described in the script as the least resourceful emotional state. It is difficult to take action from a state of apathy, which can hinder personal growth and fulfillment. The video categorizes apathy as a lower level emotion and encourages moving towards more resourceful emotional states.

💡Peace

Peace, in the context of the video, represents a state of emotional well-being and tranquility. It is positioned as the ultimate emotional state to strive for, as it is associated with self-actualization and a fulfilling life. The script suggests that seeking peace is a fundamental human desire, often masked by the pursuit of material objects or status.

Highlights

Mastering your emotions is crucial for understanding how they control and influence your life.

Many people lack an emotional vocabulary, which hinders their ability to identify and manage their feelings.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more closely correlated with success and fulfillment than logical intelligence (IQ).

Emotions are often unconscious and can lead to unresourceful behaviors and problematic behavior loops.

Understanding emotions can prevent needless suffering and help achieve life goals more effectively.

Emotions are a complex matrix of feelings in the body and mind, not just simple labels like 'anger' or 'happiness'.

Emotion is a dynamic and flowing experience, not a fixed state.

Emotions serve as a language of the body, communicating messages that can guide actions and reactions.

The Sedona Method provides a structured model for understanding different levels and categories of emotions.

There are hundreds of emotions, each with unique shades and subtleties.

Becoming aware of the variety of emotions can help in identifying and expressing one's feelings.

Emotions are neither inherently good nor bad; they are sensations that can be interpreted and managed.

Mindfulness is key to developing control over emotions, achieved by observing them without judgment.

Practicing mindfulness involves stopping to feel emotions physically and noticing them without trying to control them.

An exercise for developing mindfulness includes setting alarms to remind oneself to check in with current emotions.

Developing emotional awareness through mindfulness can lead to mastering emotions and, ultimately, one's life.

Leo from Actualized.org encourages viewers to sign up for the newsletter for weekly insights on mastering life.

Transcripts

hey this is Leo for actualized.org and

in this video I'm going to be talking

about mastering your emotions part

[Music]

one this is a very important video that

I've been meaning to shoot now for a

while and I wanted to do it right so I

decided to split it up into couple of

Parts here and basically what we're

going to be talking about in this series

is getting you a much deeper

understanding of your

emotions helping you to build an

emotional

vocabulary and getting you to understand

how emotions function in your

life uh the thing that really inspired

me and kind of prompted me to want to

shoot this video is because you know I

work with clients uh in coaching

sessions and one of the things I

discovered with clients is that when I

try to get them to talk about their

emotions uh they usually end up drawing

a blank and what this shows me is that

they have a very very very very limited

emotional

vocabulary and so I started thinking

like oh man you know um it's hard to

even coach these people because they

can't even assign just basic labels to

the feelings that they have in their

body in different situations in their

lives and because of this they're

basically unconscious to what's

happening in their body and how these

emotions are dominating and controlling

their lives and so what I find is that

in general most people are this way most

people have poor emotional vocabulary

they don't have a rich diversity of

emotions that they're able to feel and

they're able to

identify they're not really able to talk

about the emotions that they have which

creates problems

and in general most people are quite

clueless about what emotions are and

exactly how they function so I wanted to

uh dive into that here basically what

we're talking about here throughout this

whole series of videos is emotional

intelligence

EQ and I have another video that talks

about emotional intelligence and

introduces that topic more on point um

I'm not going to be too focused on

emotional intelligence other than to

show you that basically what emotional

intelligence is is what we're going to

be talking about here and this these

videos here show you kind of how to

develop emotional

intelligence um and basically they've

done studies and they've they found that

uh one of the

greatest character traits that

correlates with success and fulfillment

in life is high

EQ not IQ not logical rational

intelligence but emotional intelligence

now why is this and why is this whole

topic

important well

basically uh

unconsciously emotions run pretty much

your entire

life emotions unconsciously pretty much

generate all of your results in

life all the stuff that you think you do

consciously and deliberately and

rationally and logically well you're

deluding yourself about much of that

actually it's your emotions that are

running those behaviors so the most

important element of all this here is

that emotions generate behaviors for

most people and because of this this

creates a lot of

unresourceful problematic behaviors and

then you can get stuck in these Behavior

Loops which don't get you the results

that you

want so one problem here is that many

people are not able to identify emotions

properly they just don't have the words

and the labels to even talk about

them that's a big

problem another problem that people have

is that we generally don't understand

what the messages of our emotions

are did you know that uh an emotion can

be a message it can carry a conscious

message with it so that you can take the

message of the emotion and not need to

react like an animal just against the

feeling and The Sensation so most people

don't know which emotions have which

messages and that's going to be what

part two is going to be about and I'll

tell you exactly which messages you need

to know for some of the most common

emotions that you'll encounter in

life and another problem that I see is

that people are not able to get coached

or they're not able to get therapy

because they're not able to express

their emotions and delve into their

emotions which is necessary for

successful

coaching and so when you combine all

this stuff together basically what you

get is terrible results in life

and you also get much needless suffering

so wouldn't it be nice if we can address

some of this here so you uh can avoid

all this U needless

suffering uh and before I go and start

talking about what emotions

are uh just one word of warning if you

think that you're watching this video

and you think well Leo I'm not a very

emotional person I mean maybe some

people are emotional or maybe you're

talking about like what you're talking

about here is going to be helpful for

women uh because they're more emotional

creatures but like I'm this strong stoic

guy I don't need all this emotional talk

I don't need to label my emotions and

feel into my emotions this is uh uh not

the way that I live

life well if you're telling yourself

that you're not an emotional

creature even if you're the most stoic

macho guy in the

world then actually what that means to

me is that you're completely clueless

about the role that emotions play in

your life you're just unconscious to it

you're so unconscious that you don't

even realize that emotions are a

critical pillar like the backbone of

your entire life even if you're the most

stoic macho guy so don't think that

you're not an emotional creature we're

all very very emotional creatures so if

we say that women are more emotional

than men yes that's true generally

speaking as a

stereotype

but that doesn't mean that meant that

men are not still highly emotional we're

all very highly emotional and we're

mostly like machines running on emotions

that's mostly what a human being is is

an emotional machine in action cycling

through emotions over and over and over

and over and over again

so open your mind to this all right if

you want to get to the highest levels of

your potential in life and if you want

to self-actualize you're not going to be

able to do it by ignoring emotions

you're going to have to really study the

hell out of them to master

them so anyways that was just a warning

uh so what are

emotions emotions are it's kind of my

definition are a matrix of

feelings in your

body a rich complex Matrix of feelings

so just one emotion let's say we take a

common one like anger right what is

anger anger is a label in our English

language that we assign to what we

assign it to a

certain collection of Sensations in our

body and also in the mind and this is a

lot more rich and complex than you would

initially believe it to be sometimes we

can look at anger and we can say oh

anger yeah I know what anger is very

obvious but

actually hold on a second maybe it's not

so obvious have you actually felt into

anger to see what it's really about have

you wondered why the anger is arising

and what it's prompting you to do

have you looked at the different shades

and degrees of anger everything from

full out violent

rage to your typical anger to uh

something like a mild frustration or an

annoyance right there's various degrees

there and how each one of those it's not

just different in degree but it's also

different qualitatively it feels

different it feels different in your

body also not only do you have a feeling

in your body and those feeling feelings

are very specific they can be located in

specific parts of your body like your

chest or your abdomen or your head or

your throat or your arms or your hands

so you can have different feelings all

throughout your body but also you've got

various internal mental chatter that's

happening in your mind and there's also

a tonality not only are there certain

mental words that you're saying when

you're angry but also there's a tonality

there's a way in which you say them

maybe it's

an aggressive violent sort of

tonality um so there's

that and um you got to start to

appreciate how this whole thing just

kind of like creates this big ball of

what we might call anger but underneath

that label anger there's this very rich

tapestry of stuff going on and on top of

all that if that wasn't enough this

emotion is not like a fixed State it's

like an animated Dynamic flowing

situation uh imagine if someone uh uh

took a syringe full of red paint and

then injected it into your veins like

into your heart stab you in the heart

with it and then squeeze that red paint

in there now if you you die from that

but assuming you didn't die and that red

paint would now dispersed and be carried

by all the veins into different parts of

uh of your body and so you can imagine

that the paint is moving through your

body and it's affecting different parts

of your body and it's touching different

parts of your body and your mind at

different times and then eventually you

might imagine that it dissipates from

your system kind of like a cloud passing

through the air well that's kind of what

an emotion is right it's like this

animated

thing it's not that you're just angry

it's that the anger starts to kind of

develop and grow and then it balloons

and then it has a peak and then it kind

of has its Climax and then it starts to

dissipate and then slowly it gets out of

your system and it transforms and melts

into some other emotion maybe now

sadness and then that sadness takes over

and then you have these waves of

emotions so emotions are not static

things um that's basically what emotions

are and the whole reasoning behind

emotions is that emot are like a

language they're like a language of your

body see if you're a very rational

logical person you tend to think that

well life is very rational and logical

and that stuff follows in a kind of

linear conscious

sequence but what you fail to appreciate

perhaps is that actually before there

was logic and before there was

rationality in the evolution of the

human being um and in the evolution of

of mammals in general what you had is

you had um a need for controlling how

the organism this machine

functions and how do you do that well

you do that with a more primitive

communication system and also in a sense

a much more complex and Rich and

lightning fast communication system than

logical linear

thinking so if a tiger walks into the

room

um it's not enough for you to see the

tiger and to think about the tiger and

say oh that's a tiger what if that tiger

bites me what if the tiger jumps on me

you know I've encountered Tigers before

and I know that they're scary ferocious

animals so probably it's better if I

leave the room right that's not your

reaction your reaction before you can

even label the thing a tiger immediately

your heart rate jumps up right

immediately you've got this feeling of

adrenaline pumping through your body

immediately you're gripped by Terror by

fear like a very visceral fear and

immediately your body is tensed up your

skin tightens different muscles in your

body tighten immediately maybe you're

already turning your head and your body

towards the nearest door or window to

jump to jump out of the room um so the

emotions are doing most of that work all

that stuff happens

in just a few

milliseconds

and uh you don't even logically have any

clue what's going on here your body's

already in motion so this is happening

thanks to your emotions right so

emotions are uh very powerful and

they're the primary source of

motivation that you have running your

life so you see now why this becomes so

important is because your behaviors are

very much influenced by emotions

now it's interesting that your behaviors

don't have to always correlate and be

totally aligned with emotions you could

actually go against your initial

emotional impulses and that's where kind

of you get into the battle between The

Logical brain and the emotional brain

where maybe something is telling you

that this thing is something you're

supposed to be afraid of over here but

your logical mind can override that and

say well yes I'm afraid but let me go

pursue it anyways maybe this is actually

going to be

beneficial to

me um and it's there where you get into

a lot of the emotional problems that

people face in life and a lot of the

stuff that holds people back from

achieving the the goals and dreams that

they have in life is because you've got

this tension going

on well to start to get a handle on all

how all this works it's helpful to uh

just get a layout of the landscape and

to

see uh what kind of emotions exist and

is there like a a rhyme and a reason to

these emotions is there a structure to

these emotions so one of the things I

want you to start to recognize is that

there are hundreds of

emotions right an emotion is this Matrix

of feelings and there's a lot of

different variety and subtlety in these

matrixes of feelings that you can have

so what I want to do here in this video

really is I want to uh give you a little

overview of the landscape I want to give

you little taste of the different

emotions that are there and I also want

to give you some uh categories that I

found helpful for me in my life to uh

get me an understanding and help

increase my emotional intelligence so

what I'm going to be sharing with you

here in a minute is uh a model a

structure for emotions that comes from

the Sedona Method now the sedot method

is a way of releasing emotions which I'm

not going to cover here it's a really

great method if you want to learn it um

but I'm just going to use their model to

kind of give you some categories like a

framework for

understanding

the different levels that emotions can

have so what you're going to notice here

as I'm going to be going through is

you're going to be noticing that there's

going to be about eight or so categories

and we're going to be talking about

these categories in order

of

ascending so we're going to start at the

most you might say negative most

unresourceful emotional states that you

can have as a human being and then we're

going to move up the ladder to slightly

more and more resourceful and quote

unquote positive

emotions okay and I want you to also

watch out for the different degrees of

emotions within the category now we're

going to be doing a little sampling here

like a little Buffet right but this is

just a very little sampling there's a

lot more in fact each one of the

categories that I'm going to tell you

probably has at least a hundred if not

more uh different shades of emotion in

it but we're just going to be covering

maybe four or five per category so

here's here's how this is going to work

I'm going to give you the category and I

don't want you to visualize the category

but then what I want you to do is I want

to kind of give you I want you to

quickly visualize the emotion within the

category and actually if you want to get

the full value of this video what you're

going to do is you're going to listen to

the whole video then you're going to

come back you're going to rewind to this

point here and you're going to relisten

slowly to each emotion as I tell it to

you and you're going to pause and I want

you to close your eyes and I want you

actually feel it

remember it recall how it was in your

life because you felt all these and then

I want you to feel it in your body and I

want you to remember what kind of

Sensations were going through your body

where in your body was this emotion

being

felt how is this emotion different from

a prior

emotion

and what is going on in your mind when

you're in the middle of this emotion

because the emotion is both the bodily

feeling and also the monkey chatter in

your mind that's going on at the same

time and the monkey chatter changes from

from motion to

emotion so anyways here we go I'm going

to go through this really fast now CU I

don't want to waste a whole hour um

giving you time to pause you're going to

do that later on your own as an exercise

if you want to okay so here we go the

first category is called

apathy and this is the least resourceful

State because it's very hard to take any

action from this state and here are the

specific emotions that I want you to

kind of quickly

visualize one is

depression feel yourself

depressed the next one is

defeated feel yourself

defeated the next one is

bored what's it like to feel

bored and the next one is

lazy think of a time when you were very

lazy okay so we're going through really

fast here so you're not really going

going to get a good taste of each one

right now in your experience so I really

encourage you to go through again a

second time and really pause between

them close your eyes and get a full

sense it might take you 30 seconds

before you get a full sense of something

like depression or something like

boredom or laziness all right but it's

worth doing this because as you do this

you're building your emotional

vocabulary right that's why I'm doing

this segment here is because I want you

to get a for the fact that there are

these specific emotions that you have

that are very common but a lot of times

you don't label them and you just kind

of skip over them in your awareness so

you kind of know what laziness feels

like but also you have no idea what

laziness feels like because probably for

your entire life when you felt lazy

you've just kind of jumped over the

laziness you told yourself oh I'm lazy

you told yourself oh I don't want to be

lazy you labeled it a bad or good

emotion and then what you did did is you

didn't actually feel into it you didn't

actually identify what laziness is in

your present

awareness right this is called

practicing mindfulness which is a really

huge thing I'm going to talk about

towards the end of the video so anyways

uh let's go on to the next category next

category is called grief which is one

notch higher more

resourceful here you've got emotions

like being

sad

hurt

betrayed

disappointed and

guilty so feel each one of those next

we're going to go to the next category

which is

fear and here you have a lot of

different types of

fear think about

Terror

nervousness

worry

insecurity fear is an interesting

category because notice that um you know

we have this General label fear but then

you have a lot of different specific

types of fear which have various degrees

of strength but also qualitative

differences from each other so for

example

Terror feels very different than

insecurity in your

body it also comes with a very different

mental chatter in your mind

so you want to become aware of what

those are for each

label okay let's go on to the next

category which is lust One Step higher a

little bit more resourceful than fear

within the lust category we have things

like

craving

possessiveness

greed

frustration

so you're going to want to feel all

those and compare and contrast those

different

feelings the next category up from that

is

anger and here we have stuff like

disgusted pissed

off

vengeful and

annoyed annoyed is an interesting one

because it can be a very subtle form of

anger that you don't even recognize as a

form of anger

interesting okay one level higher than

that we have the category of

Pride here we have things like

gloating feeling

icy judgment or being

judgmental of someone else

and

arrogance so go ahead and feel all those

and compare

those and the next category is called

courage here we have things like

confident

creative

happy and secure

so feel all those notice that now we're

getting to the higher levels of this

hierarchy and that now at these levels

we're getting into actually what you

might call positive emotions emotions

that you want more of in your life also

notice that the emotions that are more

quote unquote positive that these tend

to be emotions that uh produce more

resourceful behaviors and actions in

you the they're less

toxic they're less

damaging they lead to less negative fall

out okay so let's move on to the next

category which called

acceptance here you have emotions like

compassion

glowing can you remember what it feels

like to be

glowing

loving and playful

okay good so feel all

those be aware of all those

different uh

matrixes and lastly now we're going to

be moving to the last category which is

called

peace and this is a very interesting

category which most people don't even

think about when they think about

emotions but actually this is perhaps

the most powerful and important category

of all this is the place that you

ultimately want to get to with your

self-actualization so here they are

within peace you've got stuff like

awareness feeling

aware calm or

Tranquility feeling

complete

Freedom feeling

free

and feeling

centered very interesting category this

category of

Peace so there you have it you've got

like eight or 10 categories I don't know

how many that was um and just a sampling

remember this is a very small sampling

like a tip of the iceberg I could have

given you probably 50 and I'm not

exaggerating 50 emotions within each

category so there's a lot of them right

and they all have their own

subtle different tastes and flavors to

them almost like

food okay so now what do I want to say

about all this well I want to say that

emotions are both conscious and

unconscious you can be conscious and

very aware of what's going on in your

body and in your mind and you can label

it an emotion like anger or fear or

annoyance or peace or

whatever um but most of the time I would

say 98% of the time you're actually not

conscious of the emotions that are

coursing through your

body and this presents a problem so if

you want to really improve the quality

of your life then what you want to do is

you want to become more and more

conscious and aware of exactly what's

going on in your

body one of the problems that emotions

create is that we label emotions as

either good or

bad and actually what I want to submit

to you here is that emotions are neither

good nor bad and that in fact when you

label an emotion as good or bad this

gets you into a lot of trouble down the

road it might seem like something like

anger or fear or

jealousy or depression might be an

inherently bad and negative

emotion which creates inherent suffering

but actually that's not the case that's

an orientation that you've just accept

it as an assumption Without Really

questioning and looking into it when you

really look at what an emotion is all it

is is a sensation in your body and a

certain sensation in your mind that's

all it really is and no sensation is

inherently good or bad that's your mind

coming in there and starting to label

stuff starting to judge

stuff right um and so one of the things

that usually happens the way that we're

being run by our emotions unconsciously

is that some emotion is coursing through

our body we generally assume that this

emotion is created by some negative

external circumstance and then we think

that oh this emotion doesn't feel good

anymore so it's a bad emotion how do I

get rid of this emotion and then we just

have a knee-jerk reaction and we go do

something to get rid of this emotion and

we don't actually feel the emotion we

don't notice the the richness and

complexity of sensation and feeling that

exists

there and so because of this we really

are like a puppet that's being

controlled by some

Puppeteer um and we think that we're

conscious throughout this whole process

but actually we're not that's the whole

crazy thing about unconsciousness is

that unconsciousness doesn't feel like

unconsciousness because whatever little

sliver of Consciousness you have is all

you think that there is so if you're 1%

conscious and 90% 99% unconscious you

feel like you're 100% conscious which is

what gets most people into trouble right

because we already assume that we know

this stuff and which is why I want you

to go back and to actually take your

time and feel each one of those emotions

that I described earlier because what

you'll realize by doing that exercise is

oh I've never actually sat down and

fully felt what anger feels like or what

annoyance feels like I've never fully

realized what jealousy actually

is most of my life what I've done is

I've just run away from these feelings

or maybe I've run towards these

feelings generally the way emotions

function is that they're like carrots

and sticks either they cause you to

pursue something or they cause you to

avoid something and this is like a very

basic biological mechanism by which uh

this organism in the machine called the

body uh controls your behaviors so

emotions you might imagine them they're

kind of like

magnets right it's like a magnet that is

polarized and it pushes you away from

something or it pulls you towards

something

else and you know a magnetic field it's

not just like black and white it's got

like it's almost like a cloud of

magnetic field so if you're within you

know the cloud you get pulled a little

bit more a little bit more then you get

closer to the magnet you get pulled even

more and so that's kind of how emotions

work they're not these black and white

things so it's not that when you're

angry you necessarily have to go punch

someone in the face but you're certainly

much more likely to and so you kind of

gravitate towards that and when you're

depressed it's not necessarily the case

you're going to shoot yourself in the

head and uh commit suicide but you're

certainly much more likely to you're

kind of pulled in that

direction right and the same thing with

the Positive

emotions so um it's very interesting how

just how complex the human mind and

organism is and how these emotions are

like these magnetic poles that kind of

like guide you like imagine like you're

a fish swimming through a river and

you're like this fish that's made out of

metal and in the this River you've got

this torrent coming down at you but

you're going forward and then you've got

these um these different magnets

positioned in the river and you're kind

of moving towards one or moving away

from another and you're just kind of

like snaking your way through the river

well that's basically a pretty accurate

description of what your uh your life is

as a human

being uh an important thing to remember

and understand about emotions is that

really they're the language of the

unconscious and the subconscious

mind because there's a lot of stuff

that's happening in your body at every

uh millisecond of the day that you don't

need to be aware of and in fact if you

were consciously aware of all this stuff

it would probably fry your brain there's

a lot of stuff going on breathing

heartbeating

temperature control of your body of your

blood um you know your immune system is

fighting off pathogens and um your cells

are growing and rebuilding and there's a

lot of stuff happening there's a lot of

stuff that's being processing in your

brain unconsciously right you're

recognizing shapes and faces and people

you're remembering names and you don't

have any idea how this stuff is

happening well it's happening

unconsciously for you right and your

emotions are like a language that kind

of bridges the barrier between total

unconsciousness and then Consciousness

so it's kind of like the bridge and so

it's really helpful to learn how to

interpret and become more aware of your

emotions because your body's language

primarily is not logic it's not

rationality it's not linear thinking it

is emotions it's these vague fields of

emotions and

moods so um you can start to see why

it's so important to start to understand

the language of emotions it really is

like learning a

language um one question that comes up

when we start becoming more aware of

emotions is we start to ask questions

like well these these negative emotions

that we have are these emotions

necessary so if I'm feeling angry or

depressed does that mean that I can get

rid of those because I mean they're

creating certain behaviors aren't these

healthy emotions aren't these emotions

necessary for my

survival and see the interesting thing

is that your emotions are like a very

Baseline operating system which keeps

you alive and

surviving and the negative emotions are

very powerful and they're very strong

and they're extremely well tuned to

keeping you

alive so if all you want from your life

is to be alive then you can rely and

trust your emotions completely because

they'll do an extremely good job at

keeping you alive very very

good they'll also do an extremely good

job at making you

reproduce so notice that these are the

two functions that Evolution operates on

right natural

selection survival and reproduction so

in these domains you're going to do

great with emotions um you don't even

need to learn about emotions you'll

still do

great most animals do great this way and

most uh you know primitive cultures and

societies that don't label emotions or

whatever or don't even have a the study

of psychology they do fine just fine

they survive

great uh but if you want to take

yourself to the highest potential as a

human being if you want to

self-actualize if you want to thrive if

you want to accomplish great things that

most human beings are not able to

accomplish and if what you want is

fulfillment and deep lasting happiness

in your

life then you have to start to unwire

some of the more severe negative

emotional reactions that you

have why is that well because that whole

system is tuned just to your survival it

doesn't really care about your happiness

or

fulfillment so for example what it'll do

it it'll make you

worry and it'll make you nervous about

the most insignificant thing just

because that thing might potentially be

a survival threat now your conscious

mind knows better it knows that that

little thing is not really a survival

threat but see your kind of emotional

mind doesn't really understand that and

so what it sides on you know it airs on

the side of saying you know what we're

just going to interpret that thing as a

threat anyways and we're going to have

you react violently against it we're

going to have you worry and we're going

to have you get depressed and sad and

angry about that

thing but see you can't

really like build uh a happy positive

resourceful life from that kind of

situation so what you want to do

ultimately is you want to unwire that

stuff and build in

conscious healthy reactions all also you

want to transition yourself away from

the lower level categories of emotions

we talked about stuff like depression

anger and fear and into stuff that's

much more uh higher Consciousness like

peace and acceptance and creativity and

confidence and security and this kind of

stuff um so that's that's the

explanation of that also I think it's

very important that you start to realize

that the thing you really want the most

in your

life is the emotions of Peace acceptance

and

wholeness this might sound kind of Airy

fairy and uh new age and kind of

fruity uh but I guarantee that this is

what you really want in life you don't

want a bigger house you don't want uh a

sexier wife you don't want more money in

your bank account you don't really

want that new

promotion

what you really want is you want peace

acceptance and

wholeness because if you had these

emotions running through your body all

the time you would be on cloud n you

would be in heaven that's what heaven

is it's interesting though how Society

doesn't really tell you this it's also

interesting how it's very

counterintuitive you don't really

actively tell yourself that what you

really want in life is you want these

emotions here

instead you turn it into material

objects or you turn it into uh you know

promotions or you turn it into a a

better-looking body or whatever but you

don't really want those things you want

those things so that they get you peace

acceptance and

wholeness so um wouldn't it be nice to

recognize that and wouldn't it be nice

to chart a more direct course in your

life for getting these things rather

than the roundabout way that you go

about

now CU you waste a lot of time and

energy and money and resources going on

a

tangent rather than directly to your

emotional objectives and your objectives

are emotional notice that too so when

you tell yourself that you're not a very

emotional person well actually you are

because all your goals in life

ultimately are just pointing to these

emotions here which you

want what we're talking about here is

your entire motivational system in life

right this is huge this is so huge I

hope you can uh start to appreciate

this another question that comes up when

we start investigating emotions is can

emotions be

controlled and if so how do I control

them because it sure does sound

important that uh if there's a way to

control them then we want to develop

this

way well emotions are a tricky thing and

you really

can't control them directly and in fact

what is going on is that emotions are

controlling

you so see your conscious mind it's not

the primary thing it's the thing that

depends on everything else so your

conscious mind depends on a stable

emotional system so you don't have a

conscious mind without emotions emotions

come first they're the base they're the

foundation so um in a sense the

foundation controls what's above it it's

kind of backwards to have the thing on

top control the thing on

bottom you might say it's

unnatural but nevertheless you can

develop something like a pseudo control

over your emotions this is by not trying

to control them

directly and here we get into the

distinction between controlling your

emotions and

mindfulness

mindfulness is the key to emotional

control I have a video on mindfulness

you might want to watch that goes in

depth uh about how that works but here

what I'm going to tell you is that

basically the power of mindfulness is

simply that you just watch the emotion

and you don't try to control it at all

and very counterintuitively and

paradoxically what happens is that the

better you become at seeing exactly what

your emotions are

are the more aware the more conscious

you become then the less your emotions

dominate your awareness the L they

control you and you can get to such high

levels of mindfulness that basically

you're able to uh exert almost a

supernatural control over your emotions

but in fact all you're doing is you're

just looking at

them it's a very interesting and

counterintuitive uh technique

mindfulness is a whole field of study

you could spend the next 20 or 30 or 40

Years of your life practicing developing

mindfulness um but I'm just going to

give you a couple of uh quick ideas and

um couple of tips here so number one for

starting to develop mindfulness which by

the way if you haven't realized yet is

what we're doing in this video right by

getting you more awareness this already

is building mindfulness but you also

want to be practicing it in the moment

so the first thing you should do is you

should stop judging your emotions and

you should stop labeling them as good or

bad this is actually false emotions are

not good or

bad so mindfulness is about seeing

emotions as they

are and no emotion is good and bad in

itself and the other component of

mindfulness is to feel your emotions

physically through the body really take

the time maybe even close your eyes stop

yourself feel through it

this is very unorthodox we almost never

do

this because we usually are just

reacting to the emotion and if it's a

bad emotion we just want it to go away

it never occurs to us that we can just

stop and look at it and that looking at

it is the best way of managing

it uh in fact

this uh stopping and looking is so

unorthodox for you it's going to be so

unconventional that it's going to take

you a lot a lot a lot of practice years

of practice to retrain your brain from

just reaction to emotions and being able

to just

stop look at it feel it notice what's

going on in your mind and in your body

and don't try to control

it because what your mind's going to be

telling you is that wait a minute let me

try to control this if it's a bad

emotion I should control it and stop it

right that's the right thing to do or I

should guilt myself about it

and tell myself that oh it's a bad

emotion why am I having this bad emotion

I shouldn't be having a bad emotion

right now but see what this does is this

is just a reaction to the emotion which

just creates more emotions and it just

feeds into it and creates this uh

Cyclone of uh of emotions and so there's

no consciousness there no consciousness

at all even though it might feel like

you're trying to control stuff you're

really

not so in practice what's going to

happen is that you're going to forget

you're going to forget to practice

mindfulness you're going to forget to

stop and experience the emotion without

controlling it and you're going to do

this again and again and again and again

and again and again for a long long time

before you finally learn that you

actually need to

stop don't label it good or bad and just

feel it but you know what go ahead and

start

practicing practice makes perfect so I

recommend you start practicing now uh

because it'll take you a while to get

the hang of it and in fact what I want

to wrap up on here is I'm going to give

you an exercise I'm going to give you a

really handy exercise for how to

practice mindfulness the biggest problem

with mindfulness the reason people don't

develop it is simply because they forget

to practice it because it's so easy to

forget so here's the exercise for you

what I want you to do is I want you to

get get your smartphone on the phone I

want you to create an alarm this alarm

it'll be a whole series of alarms for an

entire week so what's going to happen

here is that you're going to create an

alarm that Rings three hours after you

normally wake up and then 3 hours after

that and then 3 hours after that and 3

hours after that and 3 hours after that

so it's going to ring five maybe six or

seven times depending how long you stay

awake um it's going to ring let's say

five times at least throughout your day

it's going to ring when this alarm rings

what I want you to do is I want you to

stop whatever you're doing I want you to

get a a special Journal you're going to

keep a little Journal um just for this

exercise and you're going to write down

EX exactly um uh what your emotion is in

the moment whatever it is if you're

pissed off and it's a very strong

emotion good feel that notice what's

going on in your body notice what's

going on in your mind first just take 30

seconds to notice it then actually write

down what you

discovered if you don't have a strong

emotion which will probably be the case

most times then write down whatever

emotion you do have you always have some

sort of emotion coursing through your

body even if it's just a very very

subtle emotion and maybe all you're

feeling right now is just

um you're feeling comfortable or maybe

you're feeling a little

uneasy or maybe you're feeling a little

bit annoyed just you know a little bit

whatever it is feel it notice it and

then write it down and you're going to

do this for a whole week so it's going

to be seven straight days of this alarm

going

off um and that's it at the end of this

week what you're going to notice if you

do this

exercise as I told you and you don't

slack off on it you'll notice that

you've developed uh a lot of emotional

awareness which wasn't there before and

what I encourage you to do from that

point on is just to continue with the

process even if you don't use an alarm

anymore I want you to continue with the

process of feeling into the

emotion getting curious about what the

emotion actually is not trying to

control anything and ideally writing

stuffff that stuff down in a journal or

in a diary so that you're um you're

forcing yourself to use language to

clarify add Precision to your awareness

what this does is this builds

awareness and when you develop more

awareness you develop higher EQ and when

you develop higher EQ you start to

master your emotions and when you start

to master your emotions you start to

master your whole

life how's that how's that come in Full

Circle all right so what are we doing

here with a.org we're helping you to

master your life how do we do that by

mastering your psychology and how do we

do that well a big chunk of it is

mastering your emotions so go ahead and

take this exercise very seriously do it

religiously and you'll see some cool

results all right this is Leo I'm

signing off post me your comments down

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