ให้ฟีดแบ็กตรง ๆ แต่ไม่ทำร้ายความรู้สึกทำยังไง ? | 🎙️8½ Podcast EP.1496

Summary

In this podcast episode, the speaker delves into the concept of 'feedback แบบ Cross,' explaining how to provide feedback that is both direct and non-hurtful. By focusing on observable actions and their emotional impact, instead of making judgmental statements about a person's character, feedback can remain constructive and productive. Using examples like an employee arriving late to work, the speaker emphasizes the importance of speaking about behaviors and how they make you feel, rather than labeling or criticizing someone's personality. This approach fosters open communication and helps avoid defensiveness, leading to more effective feedback in professional settings.

Takeaways

• 😀 Feedback แบบ Cross refers to feedback that makes assumptions about someone's character, such as calling them 'lazy' or 'irresponsible', which can be hurtful and lead to defensiveness.
• 😀 Effective feedback should focus on specific behaviors rather than labeling a person's character. For example, discussing someone's lateness instead of calling them 'lazy'.
• 😀 Feedback should be grounded in facts and observable actions, rather than subjective opinions or assumptions about a person's personality.
• 😀 When giving feedback, focus on how the behavior makes you feel, such as saying 'I felt disappointed when you were late', which is harder to dismiss than a judgment about their character.
• 😀 People are more receptive to feedback when it’s framed as a reflection of your personal feelings and experiences, rather than an attack on their character.
• 😀 Avoid crossing the 'net' in feedback — don’t speak about things you cannot see or things that are outside of the person's observable behavior. Stick to what you know to be true.
• 😀 Feedback should always address what happened (facts) and how it made you feel, rather than making generalized judgments about someone's personality or habits.
• 😀 Labeling someone as 'lazy' or 'irresponsible' is a type of feedback that crosses the net, because it's based on assumptions, not observable actions.
• 😀 Use 'I' statements to convey your feelings without blaming the other person. For example, 'I felt frustrated when the task was not completed on time' instead of 'You are irresponsible.'
• 😀 Giving feedback that is clear, direct, and focused on the actual behavior can help prevent emotional shutdowns and lead to more constructive dialogue.
• 😀 Effective feedback should encourage conversation about how to improve or change the situation, rather than just pointing out faults or assigning blame.

Q & A

What does 'feedback that is cross' mean?

Feedback that is 'cross' refers to making judgments or assumptions about someone's character, such as calling them lazy or irresponsible. It involves labeling the person instead of addressing specific actions or behaviors. This kind of feedback can be rejected because it's based on subjective opinions rather than observable facts.

How does 'feedback that is not cross' differ from 'feedback that is cross'?

'Feedback that is not cross' focuses on specific, observable behaviors and describes how those actions make the person giving the feedback feel. It avoids labeling or making assumptions about the person's character. For example, saying 'When you were late to the meeting, I felt frustrated' is feedback that is not cross.

Why is it important to avoid making assumptions when giving feedback?

Making assumptions when giving feedback can cause the recipient to become defensive or close off to the feedback. It's important to focus on observable actions and express how those actions affect you, rather than making assumptions about someone's intentions or character.

What is the role of 'I feel' statements in giving feedback?

'I feel' statements are crucial because they allow the person giving feedback to express their own emotions without attacking the recipient. By sharing how certain actions made you feel, it ensures that the feedback is personal, clear, and cannot be easily disputed, fostering understanding rather than conflict.

Can feedback that is not cross be seen as too harsh or blunt?

While feedback that is not cross is direct and clear, it is not necessarily harsh or blunt. The key is to focus on the specific behavior and how it impacts you rather than attacking the person's character. When done correctly, it helps the recipient understand the issue without feeling personally attacked.

How does feedback that is not cross lead to better results?

Feedback that is not cross is actionable and focuses on specific behaviors, making it easier for the recipient to understand what needs to change. It also fosters open communication and reduces defensiveness, which increases the likelihood of positive outcomes and improvements.

What should you avoid saying when giving feedback to ensure it's not cross?

Avoid labeling the person or making assumptions about their character, such as saying 'You're lazy' or 'You're irresponsible.' Instead, focus on the specific behavior that needs to be addressed and explain how it makes you feel, such as 'I felt frustrated when you were late to the meeting.'

How can giving feedback in a way that addresses feelings improve workplace dynamics?

By addressing how specific behaviors make you feel, feedback becomes more relatable and less likely to trigger defensiveness. This approach encourages empathy and mutual understanding, improving communication and collaboration in the workplace.

What happens when you give feedback that is cross, based on assumptions about someone's character?

When you give feedback based on assumptions or labels about someone's character, it can lead to the recipient feeling attacked, misunderstood, or defensive. This can damage relationships and prevent productive conversation, making it harder to resolve the issue.

Why is it important to focus on observable behaviors rather than attitudes when giving feedback?

Focusing on observable behaviors ensures that the feedback is based on facts that the recipient can acknowledge and act upon. Discussing attitudes or personal traits can lead to misunderstandings, as these are often subjective and harder to change, making the feedback less effective.