I hid my cocaine and meth addiction for years

Summary

Jeff Small shares his powerful journey of addiction to cocaine and methamphetamine, describing how he managed to function in his professional life as an anchor while secretly battling his addiction. Despite the facade of success, his life spiraled out of control, leading to personal and professional consequences. Through the support of a 12-step program and overcoming relapses, Jeff achieved sobriety and is now dedicated to helping others break free from addiction. His story of redemption and resilience serves as a message of hope for those struggling, emphasizing the importance of recovery and the value of self-worth.

Takeaways

• 😀 Jeff battled cocaine and meth addiction for over 15 years, but has been clean for 14 months and is now on a mission to help others.
• 😀 Jeff's father was involved in drugs, particularly cocaine, and his volatile behavior left a lasting impact on Jeff's view of addiction.
• 😀 Despite initially avoiding drugs and alcohol, Jeff was drawn into the nightlife scene, where drugs like cocaine were often offered to him.
• 😀 Jeff initially used cocaine to maintain energy and perform well at work, believing it wasn't a problem as long as he could still function professionally.
• 😀 The first time Jeff used cocaine, he was immediately hooked, and it was initially provided for free, which normalized the habit for him.
• 😀 Over time, Jeff started bringing drugs to work, using cocaine during breaks, and even missing a live newscast due to being under the influence.
• 😀 Meth addiction soon followed cocaine use, and while Jeff was initially afraid of needles, he turned to smoking meth, which gave him an intense high.
• 😀 Addiction took over Jeff's life, leading him to plan his next drug use during work and even wake up early just to get his fix.
• 😀 Jeff's life became lonely, complicated, and empty, with thoughts of suicide, but he found hope in recovery after joining a 12-step program.
• 😀 Recovery was not easy, with relapses along the way, but Jeff became stronger and eventually achieved long-term sobriety, gaining confidence in his journey.
• 😀 Jeff now uses his story to offer hope to others in recovery, showing that addiction doesn't define someone's future and that redemption is possible.

Q & A

What was Jeff's experience with drug use during his childhood?

Jeff grew up in a family where drug use was prevalent. His father sold and used cocaine, and Jeff often encountered drug paraphernalia like scales and mirrors around the house. Despite this exposure, Jeff initially avoided alcohol and drugs, even though his family environment was volatile.

How did Jeff's stepfather's alcoholism influence his views on addiction?

Jeff's stepfather initially avoided alcohol due to a family history of alcoholism, and Jeff admired him for that. However, over time, his stepfather began drinking, which showed Jeff the destructive effects of alcohol addiction. This reinforced Jeff's desire to avoid substances like alcohol.

What role did nightlife and partying play in Jeff's eventual addiction?

Jeff was drawn into the nightlife scene, where he was surrounded by influential and wealthy individuals. This environment introduced him to drugs, including cocaine, which he initially resisted but later succumbed to as it became a part of the social culture.

How did Jeff justify his drug use for a long time?

Jeff justified his drug use by compartmentalizing it. He continued to perform well at his job, and as long as he could maintain his professional image, he believed his drug use wasn’t problematic. He also thought that as long as nobody confronted him about it, he was okay.

What impact did methamphetamine have on Jeff's life?

Methamphetamine dramatically intensified Jeff's addiction, providing him with a much stronger and longer-lasting high compared to cocaine. This led to daily use, affecting his ability to focus, maintain relationships, and manage his life. He also became consumed with thoughts of where to get more meth and how to pay for it.

How did Jeff’s addiction affect his work life?

Jeff’s addiction affected his professional life, notably during his time as a news anchor. One notable incident occurred when he missed a broadcast due to being passed out from exhaustion and drug use. His absence caused significant disruption, leading to the eventual non-renewal of his contract.

What did Jeff experience when he hit rock bottom?

When Jeff hit rock bottom, he struggled with overwhelming feelings of shame and despair. He considered suicide, but thoughts of his family prevented him from going through with it. The realization of his addiction and the consequences of his actions caused him immense emotional pain.

How did Jeff start his recovery process?

Jeff began his recovery journey by distancing himself from certain friends and seeking help through a 12-step program. He got a sponsor, committed to attending meetings, and slowly began to rebuild his life, even though he faced relapses along the way.

What role did Jeff’s sponsor play in his recovery?

Jeff's sponsor played a crucial role in his recovery by providing guidance, support, and accountability. Even during relapses, Jeff would reach out to his sponsor, who encouraged him to get back on track and keep working the program.

What is Jeff’s message for others who are struggling with addiction?

Jeff's message is one of hope and resilience. He emphasizes that despite the stigma associated with addiction, recovery is possible. By sharing his story, he aims to inspire others to seek help, rebuild their lives, and recognize their self-worth, no matter how far they've fallen.